Bella Is A Punk Rocker
by karis j anderson
Summary: Edward is angry and bored with life with the perfect Cullens in dreary Forks, WA...that is, until she rocks his world. But is he willing to open himself up to love again, after being so hurt in the past? AH, Rated M for content. E/B.
1. Chapter 1: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker

**First time poster, so I'm not certain I'm doing this right! Please please please contact me and correct me if I'm not!**

**Fingers are crossed that you like it!!**

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Chapter 1: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker

He inhaled sharply, holding his breath for a moment as the cool smoke made it's way down his throat. The window of the shiny silver Volvo was cracked just enough to let out some of the swirling white smoke while keeping the inside of the car relatively safe from the never ending rainfall. Rosalie would surely kick up a fuss if she realized he'd spent his entire lunch period sitting in the car, polluting it with his smoke while listening to 'that crap', as Emmett so lovingly referred to his choice of music.

Edward ran a hand through his russet hair, further mussing it. He caught a glimpse of it in the rearview. No one would ever mistake him for that tool Newton, that's for sure. He was certain that they wondered just where he fit in with the all too perfect Cullen's as well, no doubt. He sighed. Small towns, small minds. Everyone in Forks was always in everyone else's business. He knew the whispers behind his back. He was nothing like his perfect "siblings". He snorted to himself at the thought. Siblings. They weren't siblings at all. They were an assortment of "at risk" children who were adopted by a wealthy doctor to appease his poor, damaged wife with an over active mommy gene. Real siblings didn't hook up with each other and then ostracize the one that wasn't like the others.

He shook his head. He just had to get through this year and next, and he could leave this town that God forgot. He had plans. Big plans. He'd been working nights at the Thriftway, stocking shelves and was saving money for his big move across the country. He was going to get out of this hell hole of a town. Out of this misery known as Washington. Far away from the Pacific Coast that those who didn't know any better thought of as beautiful. Far away from good Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his lovely wife Esme. Far away from Jasper and Emmett. Rosalie and Alice. He was going to New York City.

Carlisle had tried to talk to him about college, but Edward wouldn't listen. He had no use for college. It would just prolong his independence from his circumstances for four long years. No, he wanted to get out before he messed it up. A clean break was what he wanted. He didn't want to feel beholden to the Cullen's for anything. They'd already done more for him than he deserved. He knew this, of course. Edward was an angry boy, but not a stupid one.

He glanced down at the clock on the dashboard and sighed. Lunch was over. Time to head to Biology. He slipped the remains of his cigarette between his full lips and powered up the window before killing the engine. He was angry. He wasn't stupid, and he certainly wasn't irresponsible. He took good care of the things the Cullen's had given him, because in Edward's mind, they weren't so much given as they were simply loaned.

He got out of the car and took a final drag on the stub of a cigarette before flicking the filter aside. He fixed the leather biker jacket Carlisle and Esme had given him for his last birthday, much to the displeasure of his siblings, and grabbed his books out of the backseat before making sure to lock the Volvo up tight and heading off to his Biology lab.

As usual, Edward was the first one to class. He seated himself at the last lab table in the back of the room, his lab table, and opened up his textbook, checking over his homework from the night before. He didn't quite know what to make of his obsession with his grade point average. He wasn't planning on going to college, so what did it really matter? Was it some deep seeded fear of disappointing Carlisle that drove him? Or his own need to prove that he was just as good as his perfect brothers and sisters. He couldn't tell, and really didn't feel the need for self analysis. He buried his head in his book while he waited for everyone else to filter in.

Forks High School had been abuzz all day with the expectation of a new student. She wasn't just any student. Oh no. She was Chief Swan's daughter. Offspring of the Chief of Police. Isabella. That was the name that had been on everyone's lips. Had you seen Isabella? Had you met her? What was she like? Would she like me? That was all he had heard all day through his classes. He hadn't set eyes on the girl and already he was over her. It didn't take much in a town like this, obviously. And, with all the busy bodies, there was bound to be gossip out the ass about her. It was like she was Angelina Jolie on the red carpet without Brad pit. Tongues will wag! Forks was no different than one of those ridiculous gossip rags they sold at the grocery store.

He heard the door swing open but kept his head down. The rest of the class would be filtering in and he did his level best to ignore them all, as he always did. He was the anti-social Cullen. The bad Cullen. The prodigal Cullen. Hell, he wasn't even really a Cullen. None of them were. The others had taken up the mantle of Cullen and set out to prove they were worthy of it. Edward knew he'd never live up to Carlisle and Esme's expectations and hardly tried. He was born a Masen. He would die a Masen. Blood, after all, was thicker than court documents.

By now, just about everyone was in the classroom and Mr. Banner was writing something on the board. Edward looked up. Each lab table was occupied by two students. Except for one. Edward was the only one without a lab partner. He didn't much mind. He actually preferred it that way. The less interaction he had with these little morons, the better!

"Ok! Come on, everyone! We have a lot to cover today!" Mr. Banner attempted to call the class to order, but Mike "the tool" Newton was holding court, telling all about his encounter with the enchanted Miss Swan at lunch. Tyler Crowley and Eric Yorkie sat enraptured by his tale, while the bitchy Jessica Stanley rolled her eyes. Not that Edward blamed her. He knew she was just jealous over the attention the new girl was getting, but how could you not be sick of her already?

"Hey, Cullen," Newton addressed him with a wry grin. "You meet Bella yet?"

Edward stared blankly at him then looked back down and began to write absently in his notebook. He wasn't playing Newton's games.

"Mr. Newton, stop gossiping with Mr. Cullen and face front!" Mr. Banners voice seemed to echo off the wall behind Edward. Mike Newton stiffened immediately and turned to face forward.

Just as Mr. Banner began to speak about the life cycle of the paramecium, there was a sharp rap on the door.

"This is going to be one of those days," Mr. Banner mumbled. "Come in!"

The door slowly opened and Edward heard Mike Newton whisper a sharp "YES!" to no one in particular as the strangest looking girl Edward had ever seen in Forks walked into the classroom. He sat back and took in the spectacle.

Black combat boots rose to mid calf, where thick black tights continued up her legs, tights that had a hole just next to her knee. A hole that had run badly. A short, tight denim mini skirt with shredded threads hung just to the middle of her thighs while a belt made of chains jangled around her hips. A long, tight fuchsia and black striped shirt hugged her from her neck to her waist as a wet, well worn and faded denim jacket adorned with brightly colored buttons attempted to protect her from the Forks elements. Her damp black hair hung long and straight and was parted in the middle as wide magenta streaks framed what little of her face visible under all the hair.

Edward chuckled to himself. Isabella Swan was a punk rocker.

Quietly, she handed a card to Mr. Banner, who nodded and turned to face the class.

"Everyone, this is…" his voice trailed off as he looked down at the card to read the name. Everyone in the school knew her name, except, of course, the distracted Mr. Banner. "This is Isabella Marie Swan."

The new girl mumbled something to the floor as she looked down.

"What's that dear? You need to speak up," Mr. Banner looked at her with an incredible expression of pity. It was obvious that this girl was going to stick out like a sore thumb here. Edward was happy to sit back and watch the train wreck as it happened.

"Just Bella," she repeated a little louder than before.

"Oh, ok, dear. Bella. Bella Swan." He gestured toward the back of the classroom. "Why don't you have a seat at the last table back there with Mr. Cullen. Edward Cullen."

Without looking up, Isabella~Bella~Swan shuffled quietly to the back of the room. Edward moved his books closer to his side of the table, but didn't look at her. He was sure enough people had stared at her in one day to last a lifetime. As he thought this, he looked up to see Newton, Crowley and Yorkie all staring after her. Perverts, he thought as he glared at them.

Bella Swan slung her worn black canvas messenger bag over the back of her stool as she hopped up on it. Edward caught a glimpse of a bumper sticker that was affixed to the back of the bag. "MEAT IS MURDER". He rolled his steak loving eyes.

She sat quietly, head down, and let her magenta streaked hair cover her face. Edward glanced sideways at her as Mr. Banner droned on about single celled organisms. Did she have a pierced lip? He couldn't be certain, but he was quite sure he saw a glint of silver on her dark painted lip. Her eye makeup was heavy and dark. Her face pale and void of color. Her nails were long and well manicured, with dark black polish and speckles of silver. Good luck finding a place to get those done here, he thought darkly.

Edward found his mind wandering during class, thinking stupid thoughts about Bella Swan. He wondered if old Chief Swan knew what his daughter looked like before she arrived, or if he found out like the rest of them. He could almost picture Charlie Swan's face as _this_ stepped off the plane in Seattle. It wouldn't have surprised Edward if the Chief's moustache had fallen out at the very sight. He smirked at the thought. Before he knew it, the bell rang. Edward was up and out of the classroom before anyone else had moved.

He made his way to the parking lot after his last class, eager for a smoke before the drive home with the family, into his own private hell. He paused beside an old, red pickup that he'd never seen before as he lit his cigarette.

"Hey, you have a light?"

Edward looked up, surprised to see the new girl standing by the open door of the truck, black messenger bag laying on the worn red hood.

"Sure," he was shocked she'd be so bold as to ask for a light when she hadn't heard her so much as mumble more than her name in Biology. He guessed all protocol went out the window when a nic fit was involved. She walked over to him slowly and he leaned over to light her cigarette.

"So, how was your first day?" He inhaled deeply and felt his body calm. He hadn't realized he had been tense.

She snorted and leaned against the rusty fender. "Fine…if you like being the human oddity." Her voice was deep and raspy, probably from smoking too much.

"Welcome to Forks!" He laughed and looked at her. Yep. The lip was pierced, as was the eyebrow. "We don't get many outsiders up this way," he smirked as he took another puff of his smoke.

"It's like some crazy Twilight Zone episode or something," she shook her head and looked at him. "How do you stand it, Eddie?"

How _did_ he stand it? Had she realized that he really didn't quite fit in either? And…_Eddie_?

"Well, I kind of ignore a lot, _Isabella_," he grinned.

"Bella," she corrected.

"Right. _Edward_." He pointed to himself.

She nodded as she took another drag on her cigarette. "Point taken, lab partner."

"No harm, no foul," he took another puff. "So, why are you standing here smoking instead of heading home?"

"Why are you?" She countered.

"I have to drive with my siblings, and they don't like the smoke," he didn't look at her when he said this. Just stared up into the clouds. It had stopped raining just as the final bell had rung.

"Oh," she flicked the ashes off the tip of the remains of her cigarette. "I figured it was probably something like a car pool." She took a final drag and flipped the filter into a puddle, watching it fizzle out. "Charlie~that's my dad~doesn't know I smoke, so I don't want the truck to smell."

"You think he won't smell it on you?" Edward scoffed.

"Guess that's a chance I'll have to take," She grabbed her messenger bag from the hood of the truck. "See you tomorrow, _Edward_."

Edward took one last drag before tossing his filter into the puddle next to Bella's. "Don't you think it's rather, oh, I don't know, hypocritical of you to be smoking with that sticker on your bag?" He pointed to the MEAT IS MURDER sticker.

"Why do you say that?" She looked at him.

"Because cigarettes are murder too," he smirked.

"No they aren't. They're suicide," she countered.

He smiled his crooked smile at her. "But the second hand smoke makes it murder, lab partner."

"Touche," she smiled back at him as she got into the truck. "Thanks for the light, accessory to murder!"

"I'll be your accomplice any day!" he waved as she backed out of the space.

He might just enjoy having this Bella Swan as his lab partner.

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**So, did you like? Reviews are like a ham sammich…yummy :D**


	2. Chapter 2: Mama's Boy

**A/N: I hope the folks who read the first installment enjoyed it! I'm kind of slow on the uptake, but I promise I'll get a good rhythm established soon!**

**I forgot this in the first chapter: Twilight themes and the characters from Twilight all belong to the amazing imagination of Stephenie Meyer. **

**Please enjoy chapter 2: Mama's Boy**

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**Chapter 2: Mama's Boy**

Edward navigated the winding, narrow gravel driveway slowly. He had no idea what had driven Carlisle and Esme to build their dream home this far from civilization, but they had. Perhaps it was to keep their quirky family from the ever prying eyes of small town life in Forks, Washington.

If that were the case, well, it had worked in quite the opposite manner. People whispered about the whole family, not just about him, the 'weird' Cullen. Whispers about Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice. The "kissing cousins" as some called them. Adopted siblings who everyone knew were romantic couples. People wanted to know how Esme and Carlisle, a respected doctor of all things, could stand for such a thing under their own roof.

He rolled to a stop in front of the beautiful white mansion, letting the other Cullen's out before heading down the remainder of the long drive to the garage around the back of the house. His usual routine. By the time he would have finished a much needed smoke and made his way into the house, the others would all be off on their own merry ways and he could get an undisturbed snack in the kitchen.

Today was no different. He entered the quiet house and headed right into the kitchen. He looked in the refrigerator, moving things around for a quick bite to eat. _All this crap and nothing to eat_, he thought, opening the freezer, hoping to find a Hot Pocket at the very least.

"Can I make you something?"

His back straightened. Esme.

"No, it's ok, thanks. I can have an apple." Nervously, he looked toward the kitchen door as he slammed the freezer shut, grabbing an apple from a basket on the black granite counter. He didn't look at her. She must have been in the butler's pantry when he went into the kitchen.

"Please, Edward. It's no trouble." She moved closer to him, smiling sadly at her son.

"Esm-Mom," he caught himself. "Honestly, it's ok."

"Edward, please let me do this for you. It's nothing really."

He looked at her face, at the way she was looking at him. Like a mother filled with sadness at her child's disappointment. He hated disappointing her, making her sad. Slowly, he placed the untouched apple back in the basket.

"Ok," he conceded.

Her face lit up immediately. "Sit down at the counter," she trilled as she peered into the refrigerator, opening drawers and shuffling items around. "A nice ham sandwich? That's your favorite! And I have that crispy chiabatta bread that I know you like!"

"Sounds good, Mom," his lips twitched into a half smile. There were days when all he wanted was to fall into Esme's loving arms like he used to, so many years ago. Today was one of those days. He knew he wouldn't, of course, but that didn't block the desire.

Esme bustled at the counter, making him a huge sandwich with lettuce and tomato slices~just the way she used to. He watched her, feeling a pang of remorse that things had changed so much, and not for the better.

She turned around and placed the plate with the sandwich on it in front of him, face lit up with happiness.

"I have some chips. Let me get them," she opened a cabinet and pulled out a bag, shaking a pile of potato chips into the dish next to the sandwich.

"Thank you, Mom." Edward couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was radiant. He couldn't remember the last time she'd looked this beautiful.

She reached into the refrigerator again and pulled out a can of Coke, placing it in front of him, along with a napkin, before hopping up on the stool next to him with a contented sigh. She sat watching him eat, a warm smile playing on her lips. He took a big bite, avoiding her stare.

"I miss this," she sighed to him. Absently, she reached over and brushed a few of the stray strands of bronze hair that fell over his forehead and into his eyes, allowing her soft, warm hand to lightly brush over his smooth, pale forehead.

Edward closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

"You need a haircut," she murmured. "I can call the salon and make an appointment for you, if you like."

"I'm ok, Mom. I don't really have time right now, between work and school." He took another big bite of his sandwich so he wouldn't have to talk.

"Just get it cut soon, ok?" She continued to lightly caress his hair. It wasn't so long ago that this was their nightly ritual. Esme would tuck him into bed, her loving touch soothing him as he drifted off to sleep. No, it wasn't all that long ago, but it might as well have been a lifetime ago. And though he fought it, he couldn't help but close his eyes and inhale deeply, allowing her gentle touch to sooth his jagged nerves.

"Awww, what a tender moment between mother and son." Rosalie's voice was laced with sarcasm.

Esme jumped, pulling her hand back from Edward.

"I see we're still playing favorites, eh, _Mom_?" Rosalie flipped her long blonde hair as she opened the refrigerator, taking out two cans of Coke. "You'll never learn, will you?"

Edward swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat as he looked at Esme's red face and sad eyes.

"Get out of here, Rose," he glared. "It's not your business."

"Don't worry, Mama's Boy. I won't interrupt your Mommy & Me time. I was just getting Emmett and I something to drink. We don't get after school snacks waiting for us like you do." She turned on her heel and was gone in a flash of blonde hair.

Edward looked at his mother, her face still red as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Don't let her bother you, Mom. She's a bitch to everyone."

"Don't speak of your sister like that, Edward." Her voice was small and filled with emotion.

"She's not my sister," he shook his head. "Not by blood, anyway, and I thank God for that every day."

"She's going to tell Carlisle," Esme looked down at her hands folded in her lap.

"Oh, who the fuck cares. Let her tell him. What's he going to do? Ground you for making me a sandwich?" Edward leaned over the counter with his elbows resting on it as he absently crushed a potato chip between his fingers.

"You know how it is, Edward."

"Mom, I have to ask you. Does he…does he hit you?" He looked straight ahead as he whispered this.

"Edward!" Esme's head whipped around.

"You just seem so afraid of him sometimes, that's all." He felt the color rise in his pale cheeks.

"Your father is a good man. A fair man."

"I know! I know! I hear this all the time. I'm a spoiled, ungrateful son of a bitch who doesn't deserve the clothes on his back! I know!" He rubbed his fingers together, watching what was left of the pulverized chip flutter into the dish.

"This has made you so bitter," a tear ran down Esme's cheek. "I'm so sorry, Edward."

"He took you from me," he said quietly. "He stole what we had because he was jealous."

"No, he was right, Edward," she touched his arm lightly.

"And then he tried to buy me. The jacket. The piano. The car. All it did was make the rest of them hate me even more."

"Edward, stop," she tried to soothe him. "You're only going to make yourself angry."

"Like I'm not angry already? That's what everyone keeps telling me. How angry I seem. I am angry! I'm the angry Cullen!" He folded his arms over his chest, breathing heavily.

"It's not Carlisle's fault."

"No, it's not his fault. He was just he messenger." He shook his head, raising a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Lord knows we don't ever kill the messenger."

"Edward, I don't want to do this with you," her voice was gentle.

He leaned over and lightly kissed her cheek. "You are right, Mom. Thank you for the sandwich. I really do appreciate it. I have some homework to do before I go to work, so I'm going up to my room." He stood up from the stool.

"Stay away from them, Edward," she cautioned.

"I will."

"Promise me," she grabbed his hand, holding it gently.

He squeezed her hand tightly. "I promise," and he stalked out of the room.

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He lay on his bed, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling, trig book open beside him. What was the point? Why even bother? He would never win. They got Carlisle to take his everything away from him, appealed to Carlisle's sense of fairness, and they still hated him. Were jealous of him. And why did he give them so much power over him? Why did he let it bother him so much.

"Because they took away the only thing you ever loved that loved you back, asshole," he answered himself.

He sat up, rubbing his already red eyes, and let out a sigh. There was a timid knock on the door.

"Who is it?" He could only imagine.

"It's me, Edward." Alice's delicate voice was muted by the heavy, closed door.

"Come in," he sighed.

She opened the door just wide enough to slip through and closed it quietly behind her. Her small, delicate form inched into the room cautiously.

"Unless they are watching the stairs now, no one saw you, Alice." Edward's bedroom was the only room on the third floor, aside from Carlisle and Esme's. He was away from the others. His own private space, a special place. The bedroom that started World War 3, Cullen style.

Her face was almost apologetic as she approached his bed with her hands behind her back, tucked into the back pockets of her jeans. "Hey, I'm really sorry for what Rose said. She had no right."

"Don't think you have to apologize for her," he fussed with his school books, closing them up and stuffing them into his backpack one by one.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. Edward, this whole thing has gone on for far too long. You are letting the actions of a few dictate everything."

"I'm letting that happen? I don't think so, Alice." His voice was annoyed.

"You're angry all the time, Edward. You don't speak to anyone. You don't even sit at the dinner table with us anymore." She sat down gingerly on the edge of his bed.

"Why? So I can have insults hurled at me? So Esme can feel bad? So Rose and Emmett can make snide remarks? So Jasper~and I'm really sorry I'm saying this, because you know I love you~but so Jasper can snicker and make faces? No thanks, Alice." He turned his head to look out the large casement windows that comprised most of the outside wall of his bedroom. On clear nights, he liked to crank them all open, allowing the soothing fresh air into the room, the gentle breeze caressing his face as he slept.

"I didn't mean to upset you," she looked down at the floor.

"I know," he reached over and took her hand without looking at her. "But, what they did? What they did to me? And to Esme? What Carlisle did? That's unforgivable." He shook his head, still unable to believe.

"You know I'll never disagree with you about that. I don't agree with what went down any more than you do. But, maybe if you tried to let go of some of that anger things could be a little more comfortable?" She looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"Yes, I'll let go of the anger so they can continue to malign me and make Mom's life a living hell. That'll work just dandy, Sis! Why didn't I think of that?" His voice was sarcastic. His eyes narrowed. "No. If I give in, even an inch, if I start acting like we're one big happy family again, they win, Alice."

"But Edward," she looked at him, her big, brown eyes watery. "Don't you see? They win either way. Why keep fighting?"

"Because I only have to fight for about a year and a half. Then I can leave." He got up off the bed. "I have to go to work."

She looked up at him as he stood in front of the bed, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"What?" He shrugged his shoulders at her. "What now?"

"I'll never see you again, will I?" Her small voice was but a whisper.

"I-I don't know," his voice was just as quiet as hers as his hand automatically ran through his hair nervously, mussing it even more than it had been. "I really don't know, Alice."

"I miss you already, Edward."

"I'm going to be late if I don't leave now. I'm sorry Alice." He grabbed the leather jacket and threw it over his shoulder as he grabbed his keys off his dresser and moved to the door, pausing for a moment to look back at her as she sat on the edge of his bed, weeping silently. "Oh, Alice," he sighed.

She looked up at him and before he knew it, she had her arms around his waist, head buried in his worn black tshirt. Tiny sobs shook her body.

"It's ok, Alice, really," he patted her short, black hair, trying to soothe her.

"No, it's not. It will never be ok again. I can feel it, Edward," she sniffled. "And I'll lose you. I will lose you forever."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her tightly to himself. Of all the Cullen's, this was one of the two that mattered. When he thought about leaving, he knew that, while it would crush both himself and Esme, she would be better off without him there. But, when he thought of Alice, he knew there was no bright side of the equation for her. She would be losing her other self.

She pulled back from him, swiping her hand under her nose as she sniffled. "You better go, before you're late again."

"You ok?" His voice was soft as his hand touched her face lightly.

She nodded. "I'll be fine. Just need a couple of minutes to get myself together."

"I'll be home late," he sighed and turned to leave.

"Edward," she reached out and grabbed his arm.

He turned to look at her.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"You know I'd do anything for you, Alice." He smiled slightly.

"I want you to sit with us at lunch tomorrow." Her eyes were hopeful.

"Except that."

"Please! Oh, Edward, it's just an hour. It will show an effort on your part!" She clasped her hands together and held them under her chin, as if to beg. Her big, brown eyes pleaded with him.

He stared blankly at her, trying to understand her mindset. "I'll think about it. I can't promise anything, though. I really have to go now, ok?" He turned and left quickly, before she could ask for any more promises.

~*~*~*~*~*~

He spent most of his time at the Thriftway that night brooding about his afternoon. Brooding over what Rose had said, and what Alice had asked of him. He took out his anger and frustration on the canned goods he was stocking onto the shelves. He would use the box cutter to savagely slice open the boxes, viciously attacking the innocent cardboard, pretending in his mind that it was Rosalie's face he was cutting into. Then he would pound the price stickers onto each can with little dispenser, imagining him pounding Emmett's burly frame. Then he would gently stack the cans onto the shelves, making certain that each label faced out correctly. Once he finished with one box, he would start the entire process again with a new box.

As he was turning to get another box off the heavily stacked cart, he spotted her. Bella Swan, in her ripped tights and combat boots was pushing a cart down the aisle toward him. He couldn't help but smile at how out of place she looked.

"Hey there, lab partner," he called out to her as she smiled at him.

"Edward! You work here?"

"No, I just like to hang out here and stock the shelves for them," he snickered.

She scowled at him. "You know what I mean, moron."

"Yeah, it gives me something to do," he shrugged. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Um...shopping?" She looked at him with raised eyebrows. "What else would I do pushing a shopping cart with bread and eggs in it?" She shook her head.

"I guess you're the lady of the house now at Chief Swan's, huh?"

"Pretty much. Charlie, you know, my Dad, well, he really isn't much of a cook. Or a maid," she smirked. "He never eats healthy. Not at all."

"He eats meat, I take it?" Edward grinned.

"Meat's the least of it. He eats anything. As long as it's not healthy!" She smiled at the thought. "I guess that's one of his more endearing qualities."

"He's a cop. They are supposed to eat junk. You know, donuts and big, giant subs from the convenience store," Edward was mesmerized by the way the little silver hoop pierced through the corner of her lower lip glistened was she talked.

"I suppose you could look at it that way," she mused. "I think it's because he's been a bachelor for so long." She leaned on the handle of the cart, seemingly relaxed with Edward.

"Your parents split up a while ago?"

"Yeah, I was just a baby when my mom left."

"And went to Arizona?"

"Does everyone know my whole freakin' life story here?" She looked at him sharply.

Edward held his hands out in front of him. "Hey, I'm just repeating what I heard. This is a small town. Everyone is up in everyone else's business. There's nothing else to do here but gossip in between ducking raindrops, girl." He smiled. "And, what with you being the daughter of the Chief of Police, well, that makes you doubly intriguing."

"Pfft! They need lives," she shook her head.

"Yeah, most of them do," he smiled warmly, and found himself wondering how many piercings she had in each ear...and anywhere else.

"Can I ask you something?" She looked around conspiratorially.

"Sure." _This could be good_, he thought.

"What do you think of that Mike Newton?" The corners of her mouth twisted up gently.

Edward's head snapped back. Mike Newton? Why did she want to know about Newton?

"What do _I_ think of him? You sure you want to know that?"

"Yeah, I do. You seem so, I don't know, just, well, different from everyone else that I've met here." She nodded her head at him.

"I'll take that as a compliment," he grinned so big he could feel the corners of his eyes crinkling up.

"That's what it was meant to be," she laughed. Her laugh was deep and throaty and intriguing. He swallowed hard.

"What do I think of Mike Newton?" He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Well," he looked around and then bent forward a little bit, bringing his face down to hers. "I think," he whispered, "that Mike Newton is a fucking tool."

Bella loud laugh cut through the silence of the grocery store. With her head thrown back the way it was, Edward could see that she had at least 5 earrings in her right ear. He stood there smiling, nervously fidgeting as she laughed. Was she laughing at what he said? Or at him?

"See," she said when she finally caught her breath. "This is why I asked you. I knew you'd be honest and I knew you'd think the same thing I thought. I mean, he's a freakin' tool and everyone acts like he's the coolest thing they ever saw! What the hell?"

"I guess Forks is a little behind the times," he chuckled. He was really beginning to like this Bella Swan, even if she did look like she could frighten you in a dark alleyway.

She shook her head. "Well, I better get going. Char~Dad will be wanting something to eat when he gets home, I'm sure," she shrugged. "Don't work too hard, now."

"I won't," he smiled a crooked smile at her. "See you in Bio tomorrow."

"Yeah! See you tomorrow," she gave him a great big smile, the florescent lights glinting off her silver lip ring. She waved slightly at him as she pushed her cart past him to finish her shopping.

Edward went back to his canned goods. He had forgotten all about his siblings and instead spent the rest of the night thinking about Bella Swan.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**A/N: Ok, there's chapter 2! I appreciate any and all feedback, so please review and let me know what you think!!**


	3. Chapter 3: Outsider

**A/N: Not sure that anyone's reading this, but I'll trudge along, hoping it brings a smile to someone's face :)**

**As always, Twilight and it's characters belong to the amazing mind of Stephenie Meyer and no one else. The lip and eyebrow piercings are mine alone ;)**

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Chapter 3: Outsider

Even with the oven light on, she couldn't tell for certain if the lasagna was done. She rubbed the window with her sleeve, as if that would clear up the baked on crustiness from the inside. Sighing, she opened up the door and peered in. Charlie's wall oven was old and suspect, and in desperate need of a good cleaning. She made a mental note to head to the Thriftway tomorrow afternoon for oven cleaner. Maybe she would ask Edward Cullen what aisle she could find it in. She sighed. Edward Cullen. She'd met him only today, and already she couldn't get him out of her mind.

She had no idea what the attraction even was. He was far from her type. He was the pretty boy type that fancied himself a bad boy, but deep inside was just a dorky stock boy at the local grocery store. He drove a Volvo, for criminy's sake! Now, what kind of bad boy drove a Volvo? She sighed again. The kind who had luscious lips and hair that made her want to grab a handful of as she pulled him in for a kiss from those lips.

She set the table for dinner, thinking about how the beautiful Edward's soft, full lips would feel on hers. She doubted he'd ever kissed a girl with a lip piercing. Or a pierced tongue. She was suddenly sorry she'd let her tongue piercing close up. Maybe she could find a place in Port Angeles to get it redone at.

The sound of Charlie entering the front door shook her from her fantasy.

"Hey Bells! How was the first day?" Charlie was taking his jacket off as he walked into the kitchen, hanging it over the back of a chair at the head of the little table. He then took off his gun belt and hung it on a peg by the kitchen door before sitting down.

She smiled. "It was about what I expected."

"No one gave you a hard time, did they?" He looked her up and down, noting the outfit that was much different from what the rest of Forks High was wearing these days.

"Now, who would give the Chief of Police's daughter a hard time, regardless of what she looked like?" She smiled and went back over to the oven. "Dinner's ready," she proclaimed as she turned off the oven and took out the now bubbling lasagna.

"Well, some of these kids are kind of bold. And mean. I know they are," he sighed. "Is that lasagna?"

"Yep. I figured it was something we'd both eat."

"That's not that fake cheese crap you eat, is it?" He looked at the pan with a wary eye.

"No, I eat regular dairy now. It was just too hard not to. You know how much I always loved cheese." She couldn't help but laugh at the expression on her father's face as he thought about the soy cheese she had tried to make him eat the last time she visited.

"So, this means we can have pizza?" Charlie grinned.

"As long as there's no dead animal on it, yes," she smiled as she cut a square of lasagna for him and slid it into his plate.

She watched as Charlie took a forkful of lasagna, hesitantly lifting it to his lips. He blew on it a few times before putting it in his mouth. He chewed for a moment before drawing the corners of his mouth up into a big smile.

"Bells! I have to hand it to you! This is awesome!"

"Thanks, Charlie." Her grin was wide.

"So, tell me about your first day at school. Did you make any friends?"

"Oh, I think it's too soon to call anyone I met today a friend. They were all pretty friendly. But, aren't they always overly friendly to the new kid?"

"Well, then, anyone with potential to be a friend?" He didn't look up from his dinner.

"Let's see. As I was walking into the main building, this boy came up to me and introduced himself. Offered to take me around."

"Now, see, that's a boy with potential." Charlie grinned wide. "Who was it?"

"Erik…umm…oh what was his last name?" She furrowed her brow as she tried to think. "His last name sounded like a little dog."

"A little dog?"

"Yeah, you know, like the breed of dog, but it was a small dog."

"Chihuahua?"

"No…it's a kind of terrier…YORKSHIRE! That was it! Erik Yorkshire!"

"Do you mean Erik Yorkie?" Charlie grinned.

"Yes! Erik Yorkie!" She laughed. Sometimes Charlie was good company.

"He's a good kid. Nice family. He'd be a good friend. Maybe even a potential…" he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"I think you're getting ahead of yourself here, Charlie," she smirked.

"Ok, maybe I am. I only want you to be happy, Bells. Who else did you meet?"

She thought for a moment. "There was another boy named Mike Newton," she nodded her head, certain she'd gotten his name correct. How could she forget his name? He'd told it to her at least a dozen times during the course of the day.

"Now, that's a good catch! His family owns the sporting goods store that you pass on the way into town. Good business there." Charlie grinned at her.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Charlie, he seems like a bit of a tool."

"Yeah, but we tools are pretty awesome!"

She snorted. "You are no tool. You're my dad."

She didn't think his smile could get any bigger than it was. "Who else? Did you eat lunch with anyone?"

"Yeah, Mike let me sit with his group at lunch. It was Mike, Erik, some boy named Tyler…"

"Tyler Crowley," Charlie interrupted, nodding his head. "Drives too fast."

"There were a few girls, though none of them spoke much to me."

"Who were they?"

"I'm not sure. I think one's name was Angela. She smiled at me a lot. The other two kept whispering."

Charlie looked at her. "Whispering? That's kind of rude. Do you have any classes with them?"

"I think that Angela is in my trig class. Mike's in my gym class. And bio." She purposely left out Edward Cullen. She didn't think she could even say his name out loud without grinning like a Cheshire cat, and the last thing she'd want to do was alert Charlie to a potential crush. She'd never be able to live it down.

But then Charlie asked the million dollar question. "Is Mike your lab partner in bio?"

She felt herself stiffen as she looked down at her lasagna. "No." She didn't elaborate.

"Well, you can probably still do your homework together," he grinned as he finished the last bite of lasagna on his plate.

"Sure, I'm sure we can," Bella sighed. One day and Charlie was already making plans for her future with Mike Newton, she was sure of it. She finished her lasagna and took the dishes over to the sink to be washed.

"That sure was good, Bells!" Charlie stretched.

"Glad you liked it, because you're going to have it for dinner again tomorrow night. I made enough for two nights." She didn't turn around when she said this.

"That's all right. I don't mind. It's better for you, not to have to cook every night. I want you to go out and have fun with your new friends." He stood up and stretched. "I'm going to go watch some tv. You coming?"

"I'm actually going to finish up in here, then go do some homework and head to bed," she rinsed off the plate in her hand. "I'm just exhausted."

"Ok, then, I'll say goodnight now, I guess."

"Good night, Charlie."

"Hey, Bells?"

"Yes, Charlie?"

"I'm really glad you came." Charlie was a man of few words.

She smiled. "So am I, Charlie."

~*~*~*~*~*

She sat in the truck, waiting. Waiting for the first bell, she told herself, but she knew better. She knew she was really waiting to see the silver Volvo. It wouldn't be difficult to spot. Most of the cars in the Forks High School parking lot were old and battered. The only new car she'd spotted yesterday was, in fact, Edward Cullen's shiny silver Volvo.

Her patience paid off, as she spotted the car pass by in the rear view mirror, pulling into a space a few spots down from her own. She got out then, hoping to bump into him, accidentally on purpose, of course.

It was dreary and overcast, but dry, thankfully. Slinging her messenger bag across her chest, she started slowly up the path, towards where Edward Cullen had parked. She saw the other Cullen's then, getting out of the Volvo. Each was more beautiful than the other, though none as beautiful as the bronze haired boy.

"I swear, Emmett, Carlisle better get us a car so we don't have to ride with this idiot!" The sharp voice belonged to a most beautiful blonde haired Cullen. She slammed the back door shut as she yelled to a handsome, broad chested boy on the other side of the car. His grin caused deep dimples on either side of his mouth. A small, dark haired girl got out of the passenger's side, eyeing the blonde.

"Rose, it's not Edward's fault he got cut off," she said almost apologetically.

"Maybe if he paid as much attention to the road as he pays to the damn radio, he'd have seen the other car sooner!" Rose's voice was shrill and loud, causing the little brunette to cringe involuntarily. A tall, slender blonde boy appeared at the smaller girl's side, and put is arm around her, pulling her away from the Volvo. Bella still didn't see Edward as the rest of the Cullen's moved away from the car and headed to their respective classes.

As she got closer, she saw that Edward was still sitting in the car, lightly banging his forehead against the steering wheel. At least she hoped he was banging it lightly. Whoever Rose was, it was pretty apparent that she was the cause of the head banging.

The driver's side door opened just as Bella passed the Volvo and headed up the path toward her first class of the day.

"Hey," she said, trying to contain her excitement at seeing him.

He looked at her, almost startled, before he mumbled "Hey," looking down at the ground.

"You ok?"

"I'm fine, thanks. You?" His voice had an almost defeated sound to it.

"I'm ok, thanks," she hesitated. "Um, see you in Bio?"

"I'll be there, lab partner." He gave her half a smile, but never made direct eye contact. He waved half heartedly as he walked in the opposite direction from her. She stood silently, staring after him as he stalked away, hands dug deep into the pockets of the leather biker jacket, shoulders hunched up.

She couldn't concentrate in her first class, or her second. All she could think about was what had crawled up Edward Cullen's ass and died there that morning. She was pretty sure that whatever it was, it was named Rose. Rose Cullen. And that big dude with her, old Dimples Cullen. He didn't seem to object to what Rose was saying. Only the little brown haired girl did. She couldn't help but wonder at the family dynamics in the Cullen family. They all looked to be about the same age, and yet, none of them looked anything alike. And while they were all beautiful, none were as beautiful as Edward.

As he had done the day before, Mike Newton met Bella outside of her trig class and walked her to the cafeteria from there. He was particularly chatty, asking her inconsequential questions about their shared classes.

"Are you excited to look for single celled organisms today?" He had turned to face her, walking backward on the way to lunch, and banging into unsuspecting students on the way.

"Watch where you're going, Newton," an irate boy called out after Mike slammed into him with his shoulder.

"Maybe you should turn around, Mike," Bella rolled her eyes at him. She wondered if he was always this annoying, or if it was a character flaw he saved for special occasions, like Christmas or new girls at school.

He turned and brought himself up right next to her, shoulder to shoulder, as he walked forward this time. "So, have you ever used the microscope before?"

"Of course I have. We had biology in Phoenix, you know."

They entered the cafeteria and headed to Mike's usual lunch group. Some of the faces were familiar to her from the day before, and others were not. She suspected that was to be expected when you were introduced to more people per hour than ever before. She took the messenger bag off and slung it over the back of the chair that Mike had held out for her, and did the same with her denim jacket. Mike smiled approvingly and she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. There was just something a little creepy about that smile.

"I'm gonna head up to the line there and get some yogurt or something," she sighed, eager to get away from that smile.

"I'll join you!" It was Erik Yorkie.

Bella grabbed a tray and set it down on the counter, sliding it along until she reached the refrigerator. She quickly grabbed a container of yogurt and a bottle of juice before heading forward, careful not to look back at Erik, hot on her heels.

"So, how'd you like your first day here at Forks High?"

"It was nice," she said noncommittally.

"Meet anyone you particularly liked?"

She turned around to see an equally creepy smile on Erik's face. If she didn't know better, she would think the two boys were competing for her.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did," she smiled. And it was true. She had met someone she really liked. It was neither Erik or Mike, of course, but he didn't have to know that.

His grin grew bigger. "I'm glad to hear that!"

"I figured you would," she mumbled as she pulled a crumpled bill out of the pocket of her black mini skirt. She didn't bother to wait for Erik to pay as she carried her tray over to the counter where the utensils and napkins were.

She got back to the table before Erik did, and Mike Newton jumped up from his chair to hold hers out for her. She rolled her eyes and sat down, thanking him quietly.

"If you ever do that again, Mike, I will cut your head off and stuff it up your butt," she smiled sweetly as his face turned bright red. He fiddled with his brown paper bag, pretending to suddenly be incredibly interested in its contents. She heard a loud snicker from next to her and realized it was one of the girls from the day before who had been whispering rudely. This was the one that was in her biology class.

"I don't think Mike introduced us yesterday," she said smiling as she held out her hand. "I'm Jessica Stanley. We have bio together."

Bella smiled and shook Jessica's hand. "Bella Swan," she said and then laughed. "As if you didn't know that name by now, huh?"

"We knew your name before we knew you," Jessica laughed. "That's all anyone talked about for, like, weeks!"

"Yeah, I have the ability to whip small towns into a frenzy, I guess," Bella opened the yogurt container and stirred it absently with her spoon.

"So, do you like it so far?"

"So far, yeah. I mean, it's been what? A day?"

"Yeah, it's hard to tell," Jessica said in an understanding voice. "I bet your kind of sick of people asking how you like it so far, huh?"

Bella nodded as she slid a spoonful of blueberry yogurt into her mouth. She looked up and swallowed hard. Across the cafeteria, she saw Edward, sitting at a table with his siblings, head down. Of course, he wasn't exactly sitting with them. They were all gathered together, paired off, and Edward sat alone. No one spoke to him, except for the little brown haired girl, who was smiling at him. She saw him smirk back, but not look up at the girl. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him.

"What are you looking at?" Jessica asked as she followed Bella's gaze. "Oh, the Cullen's." Jessica rolled her eyes.

"I don't think I've ever seen a more beautiful family," Bella mused.

"Yeah, or a weirder one. You already know Edward. The little brunette girl is Alice. She's just weird. Makes Edward look normal. The blonde dude is her brother and boyfriend Jasper. I don't think I've ever heard Jasper utter a single word. The big guy is Emmett. And the beautiful blonde girl is~"

"Rose," Bella cut her off.

"How'd you know that?"

"Hmmm?" Bella stared dreamily at Edward.

"How'd you know her name was Rose?" Jessica looked at her. The tone of her voice woke Bella from her daze.

"Oh, well they walked past me this morning in the parking lot and the big one called her that," she was flustered.

"Oh. Thought Edward had told you or something," Jessica shrugged.

"So, what makes them so weird?" It looked like Bella had found the right person for the information she so badly wanted.

"Well, first off, they are all adopted."

"Really? They aren't really siblings?" Bella turned to look at Jessica, an amazed expression on her face.

"No, thankfully! I mean, four of them are dating each other! You can't do that if you're related," Jessica's voice sounded truly shocked.

"Dating? Really?" Bella continued to look at her, searching Jessica's face for the punch line to the joke.

"Yep. Rose and Emmett are a couple, and from what I hear, a pretty hot one. Alice and Jasper are a couple as well, but I think she'd dump Jasper in a heartbeat if Edward asked her to."

"Really?" She tried not to sound as sad as this little tidbit made her feel.

"Oh yeah. I mean, holy hell, Bella, look at him. Who wouldn't want to be with him?"

This was true. Edward Cullen was beautiful, from the tips of his wild bronze hair to the ends of his black Nike covered toes. He moved with a grace that Bella had never seen in a guy his age. And he seemed like a thinking man. He wasn't a buffoon like the Mike Newton's of the world.

"I see what you mean," she replied to Jessica. "Their parents allow this in the house?"

"Doctor and Mrs. Cullen adopted them all when they were older. They didn't raise them from babies or anything, so I guess it was harder to control them maybe? I don't know, really. I mean, my parent's really wouldn't care. They'd slam the hammer down and that would be the end of it."

"I would think so," Bella looked up at Edward again. He as picking at the bread of his uneaten sandwich, a scowl on his face. Alice had given up talking to him and was instead engaged in an intense conversation with Jasper, which involved them whispering into each other's ears.

"I even heard a rumor that when she turned 18, Rose moved into Emmett's bedroom and Dr. Cullen let them!" Jessica whispered this in a conspiratorial way, as if it were the juiciest piece of gossip she'd ever heard.

"Really? Wow." What do you say to something like that? "So Rose is a Senior?"

Jessica nodded. "Yep. Emmett and Jasper too. Edward and Alice are the youngest."

Bella watched as Edward suddenly stood up, slinging his pack over his shoulder and carried his tray of uneaten food to the trash, tossing it in roughly before slamming open the door and stalking out, all without ever uttering a word to his brothers and sisters sitting at the table. The only one who appeared to even notice, or care, was Alice, who looked after him sadly.

"Well, that was abrupt," Jessica smirked. "Told you they were weird."

Bella looked at the clock on the wall. There was still almost twenty minutes until biology. She knew where he was heading. Edward was going to have a cigarette. She quickly finished eating her yogurt in silence, pretending to be interested in the conversation that Jessica was now having with Lauren Mallory about what Senior boys each had kissed. When she was done, she stood up, slinging her messenger bag across her chest.

"I'm going to head out, guys. I have to go get something in my truck."

"Oh, I'll walk with you," Mike started to stand up.

"No, that's ok, Mike. I'll see you in class." She said it with such authority that Mike stopped dead in his tracks, halfway in and halfway out of his seat. Bella grabbed her jacket with one hand and her tray with the other, moving quickly to the trash then out the same door Edward Cullen had stormed out of.

He was exactly where she figured he would be: leaning against the silver Volvo, arms folded across his chest as he puffed angrily on a cigarette.

"Hey, what's a girl gotta do around here for a light?"

He turned and looked at her, a grin threatening to twitch the grim corners of his mouth upward.

"You really need to invest in a lighter, lady," he deadpanned. "I hear they sell them at the Thriftway for a buck." He held his hand out and flicked a flame onto the lighter. She leaned in and inhaled until the light took.

"It's ok," she smiled, leaning on the Volvo next to him as she blew out a thin line of smoke. "This is how I meet people and make friends."

He snorted at her remark. "I don't think you want to be friends with me."

"And why wouldn't I? You're the only halfway interesting person I've met here so far." She crossed her left arm over her chest, holding her right hand~the one holding her cigarette~out in front of her.

"Well, you said it yourself. I'm only halfway interesting." He took a long drag on his cigarette before continuing. "Wouldn't you rather be friends with someone fully interesting?" He grinned down at her sideways, shifting his weight against the car as he crossed one foot over the other.

"I like to start off slowly, with the partly interesting people, and work my way up to fully interesting ones. That's my style." She looked up at him, smiling. The little silver hoop in her lip glinted. Edward noticed, for the first time, that she had a small diamond-like piercing in her nose as well. Once more, his mind wandered to what else might be pierced. He pushed the thought away quickly.

"So," she continued, "do you come here often?"

"That sounds like a line, lady," he played along, a crooked smile playing on his soft, full lips.

"Oh, it might be. See, I'm in the market for a biology lab partner, and I think that you would be one fine specimen to work with."

"Well, in that case, I can't say no, considering how I was just thinking how great it would be to go to a biology class, if only I had a lab partner." He laughed and flicked his filter into the middle of the parking lot. It was amazing how the exchange of only a few words with Bella Swan could completely change his mood. She had sought him out. No one at Forks High ever sought the angry, weird, dangerous Edward Cullen out. It made him feel good.

"Then, might I suggest that we move along to class, since I understand Mr. Molina can be quite irritable when you're late." She flipped the rest of her cigarette after his and tugged on a dangling buckle on his leather biker jacket.

"Who's Mr. Molina?" He looked at her, crooked smile still playing on his lips.

She stopped and shook her head, blinking her eyes quickly a few times in succession. "Oh my God! Did I say Mr. Molina? Ugghh!! I knew worlds would collide! Mr. Molina was my awesome AP Bio teacher in Phoenix!" She tapped herself on the forehead with her hand lightly.

He laughed then, a slow, low laugh, one that came right from his belly. She joined him and, still giggling, they headed off to their biology class.

Mike and Jessica were already sitting at their lab tables when Bella and Edward walked in. It was obvious to all, from the fact that they were looking at one another and still giggling as they entered, that the lab partners had come together. Bella noted the forlorn look on Mike's face as she walked past, and the confused expression that Jessica wore. They'd just have to learn how to deal, she thought.

They sat down in their seats just as Mr. Banner entered the classroom.

"Wow, Mr. Molina sure looks different today, doesn't he, Bella?" Edward whispered with a wide grin on his face. He'd noticed the glances from Jessica and Newton, but chose to ignore them.

She cleared her throat and crossed her arms, putting her head down and biting her lip, trying not to laugh. _He's never going to let me live this down_, she thought. And she wouldn't have it any other way. The only person she'd met so far at Forks High who she'd want to share an embarrassing yet funny secret with was Edward Cullen.

**~*~*~*~*~**

**A/N**

**If anyone's still reading, please let me know if you'd like it to continue. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated :D**


	4. Chapter 4: Needles & Pins

**A/N: Thanks to everyone still reading! Here's another update. I promise things will start to heat up soon :D**

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**Chapter 4: Needles & Pins**

Edward bypassed the kitchen when he got home, heading straight up to his room, not wanting a repeat performance of the day before, although he was quite certain that wouldn't happen again. At least not for a while.

Locking the door behind him, he tossed his bag on his bed and shed the leather jacket, dropping it absently on the overstuffed chair that sat in the corner. Esme had set up a reading area for him in the room when she decorated it. In one corner, with the large casement windows to the right of it, sat a large overstuffed easy chair with a matching ottoman. Edward had curled up with a good book there many nights, and woke up there a good many mornings as well. These days, however, he rarely sat down and relaxed with a good read. He rarely relaxed at all anymore. He seemed to always be running. To school. To work. And when he wasn't running, he was stressing and tense. Sleep was fitful at best for Edward.

He paced back and forth in front of the large windows, running his hand through his already messy bronze hair as he looked out the window, not really seeing the dismal view. He had done as Alice had asked him. He had sat with them at lunch. They ignored him. All except for Alice. Every time Alice tried to draw him into the conversation, Rose or Jasper would change the subject, effectively blocking him out. Had Bella Swan not joined him for a cigarette, he would have ditched the rest of the day.

Bella Swan.

He lay down on his bed, arms crossed behind his head. What, exactly, was it about Bella Swan that made him feel so good? Was it the fact that, in each of their encounters, _she_ had sought _him_ out? Was it the way she looked? Was it that damn lip ring and the dirty thoughts he had about her?

A knock on the door once again took him from his thoughts.

"Who is it?"

"Alice," her voice was sing song.

He grudgingly got up from his comfortable position and unlocked the door, opening it just enough to peer out at her.

"What?"

"May I come in?" She stood with her hands clasped in front of her, bouncing up and down on her toes, brown eyes expectant.

"Whatever," he groaned as he swung the door open before shuffling back to his bed.

"What do you want?" He was not in a good mood and he was not in any mood for more of Alice's suggestions.

"I just wanted to talk to you, that's all. You're my brother and I care about you." She followed him to his bed.

He laid down, trying to ignore the fact that she had parked herself on the edge of his bed. He folded his arms behind his head, positioning himself as he had been before she interrupted his thoughts, and closed his eyes.

"You know, you can close your eyes, but I'm still here, Edward."

"I'm making a wish…" He opened his eyes. "Nope, didn't come true. You're still here."

She rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Edward, I just wanted to talk about what happened today at lunch."

"Why? I did exactly what you wanted and you saw the results. So, next time you have an idea? Save it."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think they'd be that rude." She smoothed out the comforter with her delicate hand.

"Why should today be different from any other day?" He rubbed his eyes with his right hand.

"I don't know. I thought that if they saw you trying to build a bridge, then they'd meet you halfway." She looked at her brother.

"Obviously, you thought wrong."

"I'm so sorry, Edward. Really, I am." Her eyes were sad. "I had thought for sure this would work. I would have bet anything on that."

"Does Jasper know it was your idea?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I told him. He was all pissed that you sat with us. I wanted him to know that it wasn't your idea at all."

Edward snorted. "I bet! I'm sure Rose and Emmett gave you an earful and then some!"

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

"Tell them not to worry. It won't happen again." He looked at the clock on the nightstand and sat up. "I need to get my homework done so I can get to work."

"Edward?"

"What?" He sat up and unzipped his backpack, taking books out but not looking at her.

"You don't hate me, do you?"

"Of course I don't," he shook his head. "You aren't..." his voice trailed off as his eyebrows knit together. "You aren't like them, Alice. You never were," his voice was low.

"We were always so close, Edward. I'd hate to lose that with you as adults." She reached out and touched his arm lightly.

He stared at her hand for a second, not knowing how to answer. Once upon a time, they had been very close. But things had changed since then. Drastically. She had to choose between him and Jasper, and Jasper had won. He didn't fault her for it. Choosing between an adopted sibling and someone you'd fallen in love with should be a no brainer, and he was fairly certain it had been an easy choice for Alice to make. From that point, he kept his distance, hoping to make things easier for her. She had always been his favorite. She still was. He could never say no to her, which is why he sat at the stupid table with them to begin with.

"We won't, Alice," he assured her. "I have to do my homework now." He hated dismissing her, but the last thing he wanted was for anyone to find out she'd been in here with him.

She sat on the bed, watching him. He stopped leafing through his copy of _The Grapes of Wrath_ and stared at her.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just enjoy being with you. We don't have to talk or anything." Her fingers absently traced circles on his comforter.

Edward sighed. "Alice, I love you, but I really have to read some of this stupid thing before I go to work."

She looked down, and slowly stood up. It was then that Edward understood.

"Come here," he held his arms out wide for her and she bounced into them. "Tell me what happened."

Alice let all the pent up hurt and frustration out, crying and babbling in Edward's arms. He held her tightly, listening and nodding, letting her get what was on her chest off.

"Jazz just doesn't want to understand," she sniffled. "And I can't understand his point of view. You never did anything to any of them, Edward."

"It doesn't matter, Alice. It's the way they want to be." He rubbed his big hand up and down her back, trying to soothe her sobs.

"I want things to be the way they were," she frowned into his now wet tshirt.

"I don't think that's ever going to happen," he sighed, glancing quickly at the clock. He needed to get to work.

"I know, but I can still hope, right?" She slid from his lap and stood up, wiping her puffy red eyes with the backs of her hands. "I know you have to get to work, Edward." She leaned forward and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back. "I love you."

"I love you too, Alice."

~*~*~*~*~*~*

He guided the hand truck out of the stock room and down the aisle, coming to a stop in front of the canned fruit. In a quick, deft movement, Edward had sliced open the top box, revealing a dozen cans of sliced pineapple to light applause.

"Very impressive." He turned to see Bella Swan standing there, leaning on her cart.

He couldn't contain the huge grin that spread across his lips. Nor did he try. "So, what? Are grocery stores the cool place to hang out in Phoenix or something?"

"Very funny," she rolled her eyes. "We needed some things. Charlie, my dad, doesn't exactly stock up. I guess he ate out more than in when he was alone."

"Do you call him Charlie to his face?" Edward stacked the canned fruit on the shelf, flipping each can into the air as he picked it up and catching it confidently before placing it lightly on the shelf in front of him. He knew he was showing off for her.

"Yeah, well…yeah," she sighed, resigned. "I try not to in front of people." She looked down when she said this.

"So…first, I was only halfway interesting. Now I'm not people." He shook his head, a teasing look on his face. "I have to tell you, lady, this is no way to win friends and influence people."

She buried her face in her hands and giggled. "I keep doing this when I talk to you!"

"So I noticed." He placed the last can of pineapple on the shelf and turned, leaning his elbow on another box of canned fruit, crooked smile playing on his lips.

"Actually, I was kind of hoping you would be here today," she looked up at him through her heavily mascaraed eyelashes. He hadn't shaved in a few days, she noted, and his heavy growth made the severe line of his jaw that much more prominent, drawing her eyes right to it.

"Really?" His eyebrows shot up. "Why?"

"I…I was going to ask if you wanted to sit with us at lunch tomorrow."

For a moment, he didn't know what to say. No one ever invited any of those weird Cullen's to sit with them. It had been that way since they came to Forks two years ago. And no one ever even approached Edward, the weirdest of all the Cullen's, for anything, let alone to have lunch with them. No one, that is, until this new girl. A girl who looked like she stepped right out of a Wes Craven movie. A girl who was, obviously, nicer than her appearance let on.

"Uhh…wow…" He looked down, feeling the color rising in his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Edward. I've offended you, haven't I?" She held her well manicured hand up to her pierced lip.

"No! No, not at all!" He shook his head deliberately, holding his hand out in a 'stop' gesture. "Not at all." He then ran the hand through his hair nervously. "It's just that, well, I'm not really used to anyone asking me to sit with them at lunch, that's all."

"Because you sit with your family." She nodded her head. "They won't be offended that I asked you to sit with us, will they?"

He looked at her, taking her in. Today, she was wearing a short, tight black skirt with a tight dark green shirt. The worn denim jacket was over it. Edward noted the buttons on it this time. Greenday. Muse. Paramore. Meat is Murder. This time her black tights had no holes in them. The same black combat boots were on her feet, but between where the boots ended and her knees began, were green and black striped knee socks over the black stockings. Bella Swan definitely had her own sense of style.

"No, I don't usually sit with my family. We aren't…close."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to pry." Now it was her turn to blush.

"Nah, don't worry about it. I just sat with them today to make Alice happy. I couldn't even make it an hour without needing a cigarette." He waved his and, pretending it was fine.

"I'm really sorry. Maybe I should go now," she mumbled, looking down. Edward noticed her shopping cart was empty and wondered if it was even possible she'd come today just to see him.

"Yes," the thought made him grin.

"I'll see you tomorrow in Bio then," she started to walk away.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving?"

"Why?" His eyebrows knit together. He didn't want her to go.

"I said maybe I should go and you said yes?"

"I meant, yes, I'll sit with you at lunch. If you don't think Newton or Yorkie will mind too much." He smiled his crooked smile at her.

"You will?" Her entire face lit up. "Oh, don't worry about them. You will get to see first hand how they make ass's of themselves." She couldn't contain her smile. Edward Cullen had accepted her invitation to sit with her at lunch!

"Cullen, need you in dairy!"

Edward turned around and looked, nodding at the fat, balding man standing at the end of the aisle with his hands on his ample hips as he eyed Edward and Bella suspiciously.

"Save me a seat next to you," he smiled, winking at Bella before slipping his pricing gun in his back pocket and following the round man to the dairy department.

~*~*~*~*~*

Bella picked at her left over lasagna silently as Charlie at his heartily. She shifted uneasily before finally deciding to ask.

"Hey, Charlie, what do you know about the Cullen family?" She tried to sound casual about it.

Charlie looked up, surprised. "Dr. Cullen? He's brilliant. Very young, but also very compassionate. I hear nothing but good things about him. Why do you ask?"

"Well," she didn't want to give too much away. "Some of the kids were gossiping about them yesterday at lunch."

Charlie put down his fork and reached across the table, taking her hand.

"Bells," he smiled, "they are all adopted. They aren't really related, regardless of what those morons you go to school with think."

"Oh, I know they are. Not that it stops them from talking about it though." She shook her head. "I just wondered why they kept saying how weird they were. They look pretty normal to me."

"I couldn't tell you that, Bella." He went back to eating his lasagna. "You know how people are. The Cullen's are new and live outside of town. They're not a traditional family, so I guess that makes them weird to some folks.."

"I have a class with one, and he seems really nice," she added absently.

"Really? Which one?"

"Edward."

"Tall, skinny kid? Crazy hair?" Charlie motioned over his own hair with his hand to illustrate.

"That's the one," she nibbled on the lasagna on her fork.

"He works at the Thriftway. Good worker, I hear. Only one of the Cullen kids that actually does work." He took another bite of lasagna.

"Yeah, I was talking to him there. He's my lab partner in biology."

"I understand he's pretty smart. You could do worse for a partner. You could get stuck with Crowley." Charlie nodded to emphasize this.

"You don't seem to like Tyler much," she giggled.

"Drives too fast. Cullen doesn't bother you about how you look, does he?"

"How I look? Please, Charlie! I don't care what anyone says!" She dropped her fork.

"I know you don't, but I do."

"No, Edward's never said a word. In fact, he's been the brightest spot in an otherwise dismally disappointing first week." She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.

He looked at her, fork filled with lasagna inches from his mouth. A slow smile broke out across his lips raising the tips of his full mustache into a wry grin.

"You…you have a little crush on the Cullen boy," he chortled.

"Oh my God! I do not!" She could feel her face getting redder.

"Yes, yes you do! Charlie laughed more heartily now.

"Ok, maybe I like him a little," she offered. "But I only like him because he's the only person who didn't gape and gawk at me like I was some exhibit at the zoo. And he's not trying to one up anyone else to impress me. And he's not gossiping about people to the new girl to try to win her confidence." She shook her head. "Ok, so I like him…but only a little." She smirked at her father.

Charlie wiped his mouth with his napkin before taking her hand in his. "Does he like you back?"

"I-I think he might. He always seems really happy to see me. Even at the Thriftway." She looked down, knowing her face had to be crimson by now. "I asked him to sit with us at lunch tomorrow."

"What did he say?" Charlie's eyes were bright.

"He said yes," she sounded amazed.

"He likes you," Charlie beamed, then put on a serious face. "Just be careful. I know all about teenage boys."

"Charlie, it's lunch. At school. In the cafeteria. With, like, everyone in the school sitting there. I don't think you can get more careful than that!"

"Still, be careful."

She stood up and began to clear the table. "I will. It will be the single most cautious lunch I ever ate."

~*~*~*~*~

Edward lurked around the corner from the cafeteria entrance as the students filed in for lunch. He had been let out of his class early and had gotten to the cafeteria well before Bella would. As much as he was, he didn't want to appear eager. So, he slipped off to the side, waiting for Bella and most of her lunch bunch to enter the cafeteria before going in himself.

He paced back and forth, nerves making him unable to stand still. He felt as though he were on needles and pins waiting. What if this wasn't such a good idea? What if Yorkie and Newton started shit with him? And that creep Crowley. What if no one talked to him or Bella? And Stanley. What if she sat there gaping at him with her mouth open like he'd seen her doing fairly often. What if his presence turned Bella's new friends against her? And the worst thought of all: What if, after spending an entire hour with him in a social situation instead of just sitting in a classroom or chatting a few minutes at the Thriftway, Bella realized Edward was an even bigger tool than Newton?

He spied Bella walking toward the door with Newton and ducked back before she could see him. He waited a few minutes after they walked into the cafeteria, pacing around in a small circle and counting to himself _One one-thousand, Two one-thousand, Three one-thousand _until he was sure enough time had passed and they were sitting at their usual table. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, Edward entered the cafeteria.

~*~*~*~*~*

Bella could feel her stomach flipping as she walked into the cafeteria. She glanced around quickly for him, but he wasn't there yet. When she and Mike reached their usual table, she pulled out her usual chair, and quickly snatched the seat next to it from Mike Newton's hand.

"If you don't mind, Mike, I asked a new friend to join us today?" She looked up at him from under her long lashes, blinking quickly a few times.

Mike looked at her blankly for a moment, then smiled. "Sure thing, Bells. I'll just sit here instead." He went around to the other side of Bella and pulled out the chair, plopping down in it just as Jessica Stanley reached the table.

"Up, Newton. That's where I sit. Go to your own seat."

"I can't," he protested. "Bella's saving it for some new friend."

"A new friend?" Jessica dropped her books in front of Mike. "I said get up, Mike! Are you deaf or just stupid?" Grudgingly, Mike Newton rose from Jessica's usual seat, shuffling across to the other side of the table, where he reluctantly dropped down in the chair directly across from Bella with a grunt. "So, who is she? Do we like her?"

Bella looked up and saw Edward Cullen striding confidently across the cafeteria toward the table. A huge smile lit up her entire face. "I don't know. Here he comes now, so you can ask him yourself."

Jessica looked up. "Oh. My. God!"

Mike Newton twisted around in his chair and turned back to the girls quickly. "You asked _Cullen_ to join us?"

"Sure. He's my lab partner. Is there a problem, Mike?" Bella looked at him with hardened eyes.

"I don't have a problem with it," Jessica giggled, squirming in her seat.

"No, Bella, no problem," Mike glared as Edward Cullen stopped at the seat next to Bella.

"Hi. I hope you don't mind. Bella asked me to join you for lunch today," he politely motioned to the chair next to Bella.

"Not at all, Edward!" Jessica seemed giddy as Mike rolled his eyes.

"Sit down, Edward. I saved you a seat, just like I promised," her eyes met his. She'd only now noticed how green they were.

"Hey guys. What's Cullen doing here?" Erik Yorkie took the seat next to Mike Newton.

"Shut up, Erik," Angela Weber sat down next to Jessica. "So happy you could join us today, Edward," she smiled politely at him.

"Thank you, Angela," Edward leaned over the table to smile at her. The shy girl looked down as the color rose in her cheeks.

"So, Edward," Mike Newton had brown bagged it and reached into his bag, pulling out a smushed peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "What made you decide to join the living today?"

"The living?" Edward looked at him questioningly, then stood up and looked down at Bella. "Did you bring lunch, or do you need to go get something?"

"I didn't bring anything," she smiled at him as she stood up.

Edward motioned with his head. "Let's go get on line then." They walked toward the food line side by side, stealing glances at one another.

"I can't freakin' believe she asked that freak _Cullen_ to join us!" Mike was incredulous.

"Mike, what the hell? What's Edward ever done to you?" Jessica took a bite of her sandwich. Turkey on wheat. "Why do you hate him so much?"

"Why do you like him so much?" He shook his head. Erik stabbed at a juice box with

the small, pointed straw that had come affixed to the side. "Does your mother think you're still in third grade, Yorkie?"

"Hey, don't take your insecurities as a man out on me, Mike." One final stab and the straw sunk into the hole.

"I'm not insecure," he took a bite out of his sandwich and chewed angrily. "I just don't get why anyone would even want to associate with someone as weird as _Cullen_." He said Edward's last name with venom.

"What makes him weird, Mike? The fact that he doesn't follow what everyone else does?" Angela Weber had laid out her lunch neatly in front of her. Bologna on white bread, cut into fours. A container of milk, and a little sandwich baggie with chips in it sat on either side of the sandwich.

"Yes, Angela, as a matter of fact that's exactly what makes him weird. We're teenagers. We're supposed to follow. That family~those Cullen's~they are absolutely unnatural in every way!" Mike pointed his finger across the table at her, stabbing it into the air several times to punctuate his remarks.

"And the fact that he's the most beautiful thing any of the girls have ever laid eyes on doesn't help either, Angela." Jessica snorted.

"Well, Mike, then following your definition, the girl you've spent the last few days trying to impress should be considered weird as well, right?" Angela looked across the table with a smug expression on her face.

"It doesn't apply to girls, Angela," Erik shot her a look.

"That's just stupid, Erik. Of course the same rules apply. Bella's not exactly like everyone else here. And what makes Edward so different, anyway?" Angela crunched a chip as Jessica chewed a bite of her sandwich, nodding in agreement.

"No one here wears a leather biker jacket, Angela. No one but Cullen." Mike slurped a can of Coke.

"So? A jacket makes him weird?" Jessica looked at him.

"Yes, it does." Erik had systematically removed the crusts from his sandwich.

"Then you must be weird too, Erik."

"Why's that, Jess?"

"Because you're the only student here wearing a tie." Jessica smiled triumphantly. "Now be quiet because they're coming back."

"Sorry it took so long, guys." Bella put her tray down on the table as Edward held her chair out for her. "Thanks, Edward." She noticed Mike rolling his eyes.

"I told you everyone else would be eating meat, Bella," Edward grinned as he flopped down in is chair.

"You have a serious problem, Edward," she rolled her eyes as she ripped the foil lid off her container of yogurt.

"Yes, I like tasty food. That's a real problem," he smiled, biting with gusto into the ham sandwich he'd purchased.

"So, how do you like having Bells here for a lab partner, Cullen?" Mike crinkled his brown paper lunch bag in his fist.

"I like it. Do you?" _What a friggin' tool_, he thought.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Tyler Crowley pulled an extra chair up to the table. "What's Cullen doing here?" Mike Newton leaned back in his chair and pointed at Bella.

Jessica rolled her eyes as Bella answered. "I asked Edward to join us for lunch. Is this a huge problem, Tyler? Because we can go sit somewhere else if it is." Her exasperation with the boys was showing.

"Just ignore them Bella," Angela shook her head. "They are insecure, immature idiots."

"Edward, have you filled Bella in on Mr. Banner's tests?" Jessica chose to ignore Tyler.

"No, I have not, Jessica. I thought it was only fair if she was as shocked as we were." Edward shared a conspiratory smile with Jessica.

"Ok, what is it that you two aren't telling me?" Bella was scraping the bottom of the plastic yogurt cup with her plastic spoon.

"Should we tell her?" Jessica was enjoying Edward's attention.

"I'm not so sure, Jess," Edward glanced at Bella's concerned face.

"Oh, for crying out loud, just tell her already!" Mike's hand came down on the table hard, causing everyone to jump.

"Screw you, Mike!" Jessica glared hard at him across the table. She was happy to see him so annoyed by Edward Cullen's presence. Since he had ushered Bella Swan into their little circle, Mike hardly even spoke to her anymore. All he seemed concerned with was Bella. Edward sitting with them at lunch was just the punishment Mike deserved.

"It's ok, Jess. I'm sure Edward will tell me later." Bella wiped her mouth with a napkin and looked over at Edward, who was just swallowing the last of his sandwich. "Smoke?"

"Thought you would never ask!" He stood up, sliding his leather jacket on and tossing his backpack over his shoulder before grabbing his lunch tray. "Thank you all for letting me sit with you today. It was very…enlightening." He smirked right at Mike Newton as he said the last word. Mike responded with a one fingered salute. "See you in Bio." Edward smiled as he turned and headed for the trash can.

~*~*~*~*~*

"I'm really sorry, Edward," Bella fished around inside her bag for a book of matches as they stood next to her old, red truck.

"Sorry for what?" He held out a lighter to her.

"Thanks." She leaned in, taking a light. "I had no idea you and Mike didn't like each other."

"To be honest, Bella, I didn't either. At least not until lunch," he chuckled softly.

"I guess that's all the proof we needed to show we were right. He's a tool," she shook her head, laughing. "At least, maybe now, he'll leave me the fuck alone."

"Don't be surprised if he doesn't. He probably thinks he's in some sort of competition with me now." Edward took a long drag on his cigarette, savoring the soothing smoke.

"Competition? For what?" She leaned against the truck, looking straight ahead.

"You."

"I'm not a prize, Edward."

"I never said you were."

"You think that's Mike's problem?" She lifted her cigarette to her lips.

"Aside from being a monumental asshole, yeah, I do. I think he sees me as some sort of threat."

"A threat? To what?"

"Oh, come on Bella. You can't see that he's hot for you?" Edward laughed.

"Pffft! Mike fuckin' Newton? What the hell would I do with him?" She guffawed.

"I don't know…kick him in the nuts?" Edward smiled.

"Don't tempt me!"

"Seriously, don't you see how he looks at you? He thinks that he's the front runner in the 'Be Bella's Boyfriend' competition." He took another puff on his cigarette, flicking the ashes off the end when he was done.

"I hate to say it, but, yeah, I've sort of felt that. Erik too." She shook her head. "I swear, Edward, I never did anything to make them think that I liked them."

"Sure you did," he stared at her intently.

"Am I sending out some sort of signal I don't know about?" Her brow furrowed.

"Nah, nothing like that. It's just that you're the new girl, and they are just tripping over themselves to get your attention," he laughed.

"Really? Hmph. You'd think boys here would be afraid of a girl like me or something," she shook her head.

"Why? If anything, you intrigue them. They can't stand the mystery. They want to be the one to discover the real Bella Swan. To get to the bottom of the whole mystery. To get _you_." He sucked on his cigarette before continuing. "So, they figure by being your "friend" they have a leg up on the competition." He made air quotes when he said the word "friend".

"The competition?" she looked up at him, eyebrows knit together.

"The competition," he pointed to himself and smiled.

"So, are you telling me you're in the Be Bella's Boyfriend contest too?" She smiled slyly.

"I might be," he looked to his right as a car pulled out of its space across the lot.

"You might be? Don't you know?" Her grin was playful. There was no one in this school she would rather see win the Be Bella's Boyfriend contest more than Edward Cullen.

"Or I may just be perceived as being the competition. Seriously, Bella, do you think I'd be stupid enough to tip my hand to those friggin' jerks?" His smile smoldered at her, making her knees go weak.

"So…do I…do I intrigue you?" She avoided direct eye contact when she asked this.

He couldn't help the way he smiled when she asked. "I might be."

"Or…you might just be perceived as being intrigued?" She gave him a big, wide grin.

"I might." He blew a straight line of smoke from his mouth.

"So…um…who chooses the winner of this contest?" She took a final puff on her cigarette before dropping it onto the ground and stamping it out with her Doc Marten'd foot.

"Well, I would think that you would be the only one truly qualified to judge all the competitors, Bella." He sucked on his cigarette stub for the last time, before tossing it to the ground and crushing it under his own boot. "After all, you are the Bella in question."

"In that case," she moved closer to him, "I already know who the winner is." Her voice was almost a whisper.

"Do you now?" His eyes narrowed down at her, shining like emeralds.

"Yeah, I do." She reached up, staring intently into his dazzling eyes, and grabbed his leather jacket in her hand, drawing him down closer to herself.

**~*~*~*~*~***

**A/N:**

**Once again, thanks to everyone who's reading. Reviews would be awesome and are always welcome :D Like I said...things are going to start heating up a bit now. **

**Updates are likely to start slowing up a bit, what with Thanksgiving and the holidays fast approaching. I'll be away for the long weekend, so it seems unlikely that I'll have anything up before that. I'll be working on it upon my return though, so stick with us :) **


	5. Chapter 5: Chinese Rock

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's reading this and reviewing! I hope you're enjoying it! Got out of work early today, so I got everything done early for my weekend away, and was able to work on this and get it up! Hope you enjoy :)**

**As always, Twilight, it's characters and situations belong to the fruitful mind of Stephenie Meyer.**

**~*~*~*~*~**

**Chapter 5: Chinese Rock**

They stood, eyes locked, lips a breath apart.

The bell rang, and still they stood, unmoving.

Finally, Bella blinked.

"I~we…we need to get to Bio," she stuttered. "I don't want to miss a class my first week," her voice was breathless.

Edward pulled back from her slightly and she reluctantly let go of his leather jacket. He shook his head a little and blinked, as if waking from a dream. "Yeah, we need to get to class," he mumbled. He could feel his legs trembling. What was happening here?

Bella grabbed her messenger bag from the hood of her truck, where she'd tossed it when they lit their cigarettes, and slung it over her chest. Edward stepped aside and motioned for her to walk ahead of him. He kept shaking his head. He felt like he was in some sort of trance. Was it possible for Bella Swan to have such power over him after only just meeting? Had he really just confessed to her that he liked her in a round~about way? It didn't make him any better than Mike freakin' Newton, in his own estimation. It only made him more honest about it. No, he had to control himself better.

They walked to their class in silence, each lost in their own thoughts about the moment they had shared.

Bella freely admitted to herself that she wanted it. She wanted Edward Cullen to kiss her. She wanted to feel Edward's full lips on her own. She wanted to see his reaction when he felt her lip ring against his softness. She wanted to feel his tongue flick across the lip ring. Just the thought of it made her feel warm. Most of all, she wanted him to want her. He was the most normal boy she'd met in Forks. The nicest boy. The most beautiful boy. So what if they had just met? She knew what she liked, and she liked Edward Cullen. He was…different. He treated her like a human from the moment they met, unlike the others. He didn't try to impress her by acting like an idiot like Newton and Yorkie did. Edward was just…Edward. She sighed as they reached the classroom, Edward holding the door open for her.

He sat silently, staring down at his notebook for most of the class, lost in his own thoughts. Bella glanced over every now and then as Mr. Banner droned on about…something? If he called on her to answer something, she was quite certain she wouldn't be able to. She was too wrapped up in Edward. His lips…they had been so close, and yet, so far. She glanced sideways at him. He was looking down, lips pursed. She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply.

Edward knit his brows together, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Had they really almost kissed? It had been a weird, surreal moment, to be sure. One minute they were talking about how Newton and Yorkie were making complete asses of themselves to get her attention and then, all of a sudden, the earth seemed to tilt slightly on it's axis. How the hell does that even happen?

He would never deny he liked her. Not to himself and not to her. How could he? Especially now. And, if he was being honest, he was pretty sure that she didn't invite him to sit with them at lunch just to be social. Not Bella Swan. She was far more sophisticated than any of the bumpkins here at Forks High. City people like himself and Bella were just different. Even after all these years, Edward still considered himself a city person.

"Mr. Cullen, care to tell us what the membrane that gives the paramecium its definite shape is called?"

Edward jumped involuntarily, having been startled from his thoughts.

"Uh...it's…it's the…uhh…" he ran his hand through his bronze hair nervously.

"We're waiting, Mr. Cullen," Mr. Banner leaned against the chalk board with a smug expression on his face.

"It's the uh…pellicle?"

The look on Mr. Banner's face gave way to a sour expression. "Yes, Mr. Cullen. It's the pellicle." He turned to the chalkboard and wrote the word in big, angry letters.

Edward glanced sideways at Bella. She had her head down, with a huge grin on her face. He smiled crookedly as she turned slightly to look at him.

"Nice save," she mouthed silently.

He nodded his head at her. It was always nice to have an ally, and it had been quite a while since he'd actually had one.

Biology seemed to last longer than usual, but eventually the bell did ring. Both Edward and Bella moved slowly, gathering up their books and sliding them into their bags, but not looking at each other. Edward zipped his backpack first, slinging it over his shoulder. He stood waiting for her.

"You don't have to wait for me, Edward," she smiled warmly at him. It was the first time they had looked directly at one another since the parking lot, and she took his breath away.

"It's ok," he whispered. "I want to wait."

"Well, in that case, I'm glad you did," she smiled and looked down at her boots. Her black and purple striped tights matched the black and purple shirt she wore with a black denim mini skirt. Edward had noted that she seemed to like skirts. A lot. The usual faded denim jacket was in place yet again. Bella Swan didn't seem to realize just how wet things were in Forks. Or maybe she did and just chose to ignore it.

They walked slowly toward the door after everyone else had filtered out of the room. "Hey, did I make things weird?" She didn't look up at him when she said this. "Because the last thing I want is for things to be weird between us."

"Weird? Nah, if anything, you made things clearer." He let out a soft chuckle.

"Really?" She stopped and looked up at him just as they reached the door, her face questioning him.

"Yeah, you did. Listen," he could feel his legs begin to tremble again. "You like Chinese food?"

"Yeah, Chinese is cool. Lot's of vegetarian dishes. Why?"

"Well, I'm not working Friday. So, I was wondering if you would want to go into Port Angeles with me to hang out and get some dinner?" His knees were shaking uncontrollably now. He hoped that his voice hadn't picked up the nervous tremble.

A great big smile broke out across her lips and Edward let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. "I would LOVE to go to Port Angeles with you, Edward," she almost sighed his name when she said it.

"Really?" He couldn't contain his obvious glee.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Yeah, I want to see what you're like away from Forks High and the Thriftway. I want to see the real Edward Cullen." I mischievous grin played on her lips.

The second bell rang and they were both now late for class.

"Well, I better run or the real Edward Cullen will be grounded on Friday," he rolled his eyes, thinking about how Carlisle would react if he got caught ditching again. "See you at lunch tomorrow?" His green eyes burned brightly.

"Not if I see you at Thriftway first," she smiled up at him. He flashed a crooked smile at her before taking off down the hallway to his next class.

Bella leaned against the door jam, hugging her arms around herself tightly. _I have a date Friday night with Edward Cullen_, she sighed to herself.

~*~*~*~*~*

The rest of the afternoon flew by, even crappy old gym, until she got hit in the head with a volley ball, compliments of Lauren Mallory. Bitch. Probably saw Edward sitting with her at lunch and got jealous.

Not that it mattered. Nothing Lauren Mallory or any of the assorted characters at Forks High could do to her could affect the state of immense happiness she was in. Edward Cullen had asked her, Bella Swan, out on a date. Bella Swan had a date with Edward Cullen. No, she wasn't going to start writing EC + BS or Bella Luvs Edward on her notebooks. She wasn't that kind of a girl. In fact, she wasn't even really the kind of girl who would let the fact that a hot guy had just asked her out affect her the way she had let Edward. And she had no idea why she felt as euphoric as she did. But she did, and it was all because of Edward.

She walked slowly to her truck after her last class, hoping to catch a glimpse of him before leaving school for the day. Her heart fell when she noticed that the silver Volvo was gone by the time she reached the lot. Just as well. Maybe she would swing by the Thriftway this evening for…something. Maybe Charlie needed some milk for his coffee? Maybe they needed coffee? Charlie was a cop. Didn't cops drink tons of coffee? She shook her head, realizing she was already too far gone. But…Edward Cullen had asked her out!

Before she reached it, she noticed that something was wedged under the windshield wiper of her truck. Scowling, she raced over to it and yanked the cardboard out from under the wiper. Her heart jumped when she looked at it.

A twin pack of Bic cigarette lighters. One hot pink, the other black.

A smile formed on her full lips as she hugged the package to her chest. She knew who had left them there.

She was still grinning like an idiot when Charlie got home from work. She was flitting around the kitchen, humming happily when he walked in.

"Hey Bells! You seem happy!" He took his gun belt off and hung it on the peg by the kitchen door.

"Hi Charlie! Do I?"

"You sure do," he smiled at his only child as he sat down in his usual seat at the kitchen table.

"I guess that's because I feel kind of happy, Charlie." She placed a large bowl of tossed salad on the table and turned back to the old wall oven, donning a pair of oven mitts as she did.

"What smells so good tonight?" Charlie was thrilled by the aroma that filled the tiny kitchen.

"Cheddar and Broccoli quiche," she smiled as she pulled the pie out of the oven. "It's hot, so be careful."

"Quiche? I thought real men didn't eat quiche?"

"Oh, Charlie. That's so…so…80's." She set the hot pie down on a trivet on the table.

"So…there's no meat in this, is that right?" He eyed the quiche suspiciously.

"No, no meat in this one. Just cheese, eggs and broccoli."

"So, eggs are ok?" He smiled at his daughter. This was the happiest he'd seen her since she arrived in Forks a week earlier from Phoenix.

"Yep, because eggs are in everything and it's just easier for me." She cut into the quiche, smiling.

"And quiche puts you in a good mood like this?" He spooned some salad into his plate, then held the dish out to Bella, who slid a slice of quiche onto it.

"No, not really," she giggled as she dropped some salad onto her plate next to her quiche.

"Then why so happy?" Charlie held a fork full of steaming quiche up to his lips and blew on it to cool it.

"I have a date Friday night," she could hardly contain her glee.

Charlie dropped the fork down from his mouth. "No. A date? Already?" The corners of his mouth drew up into a grin. "I always knew I had the most beautiful daughter in the world!"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Oh, Charlie. I don't think beauty has anything to do with it. He and I just, well, we just click."

"Who is it? It's not Crowley, is it?" He absently slid the forkful of quiche into his mouth. "Mmm! This is good!"

"No, it's not Tyler. You really don't like him, do you?"

"Drives too fast," Charlie said as he chewed on some salad. "Is it Mike Newton?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Oh, God Charlie! I'd rather eat a burger than go out with Mike Newton!"

"Yorkie then?"

"No, not Erik. He's sweet, but he's not my type."

Charlie looked at her for a moment, then swallowed hard. The grin returned to his lips. "What was I thinking? You're thrilled, so that has to mean it's the Cullen boy from the Thriftway. Am I right?"

Bella's face lit up as she smiled. "I am right," Charlie gushed.

She nodded. "Yeah, Edward asked me to go to Port Angeles with him. He said there was a good Chinese place there."

"Probably The White Lotus," he mused. "If that's the place, have the sesame noodles."

"He didn't say. Just asked if I liked Chinese."

"Does he know about you?" Charlie slipped another piece of quiche into his mouth.

"Does he know what about me?" She looked at her father.

"Does he know you don't eat meat?"

She smiled. "Yeah, he knows I'm vegetarian. In fact, I think that's the reason he mentioned Chinese."

Charlie smiled. "He's thoughtful then. And he's a hard worker. Doesn't drive nearly as fast as Crowley. I like him already!"

Bella rolled her eyes. "It's just a trip to Port Angeles, Charlie. We aren't getting married or anything."

"Well, not yet," he teased.

"You're the worst, Charlie Swan!" She shook her head and looked at her father, the amused expression on his face making her laugh out loud.

~*~*~*~*~*

Friday couldn't come soon enough for Edward. The idea of being alone, one on one, with Bella, was driving him crazy. No stupid school constraints. No jackass assistant store managers. No Mr. Banner. No Mike freakin' Newton. Just Edward and Bella. She consumed his thoughts, waking and sleeping. And there was nothing he could do about it.

He was amazed that, since meeting her, he had even been sleeping better. No tossing and turning, trying to fall asleep. No watching the numbers on the clock tick away while waiting for sleep to find him. Edward actually fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, anxious for the next day, the next encounter with the enchanting Miss Swan. Plus, more sleep meant Edward was in a better mood, although not where his siblings were concerned.

Rosalie had ratted him out to Carlisle for being late to Trig on Wednesday, and Carlisle had berated him for it. Whatever Esme thought about Carlisle, Edward knew otherwise. Carlisle did whatever the others wanted him to do, plain and simple. There was no fairness involved, at least not where Edward was concerned.

He pushed all of his dark thoughts from his mind on Friday morning as he pulled into the Forks High parking lot, spotting the now familiar old red pickup truck. No amount of bitching about his driving from Rose could cloud his mood today. He pulled into a spot two spaces down from Bella's truck and parked.

"You'd think the damn Chief of Police would get his kid a better car," Rose griped as she opened the back door of the Volvo to get out. "That thing is an eyesore."

"Eyesore or not, it's more wheels than we have, Rosie," Emmett wore a wry grin on his face.

"Yes, I do realize that, Emmett. Someone was supposed to talk to Carlisle about that, if I recall." She gave him a dirty look as she walked past him, headed to her first class. He shrugged and slammed the car door shut behind him.

Jasper opened the front passenger door to let Alice out. They always sat the same way. Rose, Emmett and Jasper sat in the back. Alice sat in the front with Edward. No one but Alice ever spoke to Edward. Not that he cared. He had nothing to say to his brothers or sister anyway.

"Come on, Alice. Smokey over here probably wants a cancer stick before class and I don't want you having to breathe in his second hand smoke."

"Oh Jazz," she sighed as she got out of the car. "Edward would never smoke with me in the car. You know that."

He stared at her. "Why do you always defend him?"

"Why do you always attack him?"

"I'm not going to get into it with you this early in the morning, Alice," he shook his head.

"Because you don't have an answer, no doubt," she walked past Jasper, not looking at him, and headed down the sidewalk toward her first class, with Jasper rushing to catch up.

As usual, Edward remained in the car with his head down until his siblings were out of sight. Silently, he got out and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. He slipped one out and slid it between his pouty lips.

"Hey, buddy. Can I light your Lucky?"

Bella Swan stood before him, a small flame flickering on the lighter in her hand.

"How about you light my Marlboro instead?" He couldn't contain his smile.

She shrugged. "Works for me." He leaned over and took the light, inhaling deeply as the cigarette settled his nerves.

Bella pulled a cigarette from behind her ear and lit up as well, enjoying the smoke.

"New way to store your cigs?" Edward smirked.

"Nah, I was waiting on you, and you were late, you slacker," she playfully punched him lightly in the arm.

"My sister," he rolled his eyes. "She and her makeup held us up this morning. Of course it was my fault, not the fact that she has to put her makeup on with a trowel."

"You don't seem to like your family much," she mused.

He shook his head, looking down. "It's…complicated."

"Hey, it's ok. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"It's not that I don't want to talk about it," he smiled shyly at her. "It's that we just don't have enough time before class starts to even touch the surface of it."

"Well, we can talk about it tonight," she looked up at him through lashes thick with mascara, reminding him why today was so important to him in the first place.

"We can talk about anything you want tonight," he smiled. Looked like she was looking forward to tonight just as much as he was.

"I don't want to sound anxious…or make you think I'm easy, but…I really have been looking forward to tonight, Edward," she breathed softly as she said this.

"Bella, I'd never think you were—" the bell cut him off. "Crap! I need to hustle! We'll talk at lunch?" He shifted the backpack on his shoulder as he tossed the cigarette to the ground.

"Of course…and you'll finish that thought, mister," she smiled a reassuring smile at him, making his heart jump a little bit.

He offered a tentative wave as he ran toward his first class, leaving Bella standing by the Volvo, unconcerned that she'd missed the first bell.

The morning classes dragged for Edward who was eager to get to lunch, to continue his conversation with Bella. He was out of his seat and running toward the cafeteria the second the bell rang. He saw her, waiting outside the building for him, as she had been the day before. Newton was probably already sitting at the table, sulking again. The thought made Edward smile to himself.

She smiled and waved as she saw him approaching. He couldn't help the huge grin that engulfed his entire face.

"Hey," he sighed as he reached her. A light drizzle was falling, and her hair was already starting to stick to her cheeks. "It's raining. You should have gone inside."

"And have to sit with that friggin' tool until you got here? No way! I'd rather get soaked to the skin, thank you very much," she shook her head.

Edward opened the door and held it for her to walk in first. She stepped to the side as she crossed the threshold and pulled him over against the wall with her, allowing other students entering to walk past them.

"Listen, you want to sit in there with those magnificent idiots, or would you rather go sit in my truck and eat?"

Was she suggesting an hour alone together? Without the watchful eyes of Mike Newton on them? Or the sarcasm of Erik Yorkie directed at them? Or the uncontrollable giggling and flirting of Jessica Stanley? Hell yes, she was!

"Sounds like a plan," he looked down at her, green eyes smoldering.

"Cool. Let's go get something to eat, and I'll grab Jess and tell her what we're doing, since it's not really polite to just ditch her and Angela." They started to walk toward the lunch counter.

"I kind of feel bad about leaving Jess and Angela alone with freakin' Newton," Edward shook his head.

"I know. I honestly have no idea how I got stuck with him," she grabbed a strawberry yogurt from the refrigerated case.

"I don't mind Jess. She stares at me with her mouth open sometimes, but overall, she's not nearly as mind numbingly annoying as Newton is," Edward picked up a bagel that had been sliced in half and slathered with butter before being wrapped in plastic and took a bottle of Coke to wash it down with. "And Angela has always been the sweetest thing."

"She is. I really like Angela a lot. She's very different from Jess," Bella reached into her messenger bag for her wallet. Edward grabbed her hand and stopped her.

"I have it, Bella," he smiled shyly.

"Uh…well…Ok then," she looked at him, surprised, and stepped back as Edward pulled a well worn black leather wallet from his back pocket. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Angela's always been really nice to me," he continued the conversation, "even when the others weren't quite so welcoming."

Bella took her yogurt and went over to where the plastic utensils were, catching her eye and waving at Jessica to come over. Edward met them there.

"Jess, Edward and I are going to go eat in my truck. I hope you don't mind."

Jessica Stanley looked Edward Cullen up and down before breaking into a huge, toothy grin. "That's great, Bella," she giggled, never taking her eyes off of him. "I'm sure Mike will be thrilled."

Bella rolled her eyes. She really didn't care what Mike Newton thought. Jessica, on the other hand, thought Mike was getting exactly what he deserved.

Bella led Edward out of the cafeteria and down to her truck. She slid behind the steering wheel while Edward hopped into the passengers seat. She turned on the truck, and turned up the heat, trying to ease the chill of the damp mid-October afternoon, and hoping to dry off some before having to step out into the cold drizzle once more. She turned and smiled at Edward.

"Now, isn't this nicer than having Newton and Yorkie scowling at us for an hour," she giggled.

Edward nodded, taking a bite of his bagel.

"You said before that Angela was welcoming. Aren't you from Forks?" She ripped the foil cover off the top of the yogurt container.

Edward shook his head and swallowed the mouthful of bagel he had. "No. I'm from Chicago. Carlisle and Esme adopted me when they were living there."

"Really?" She stirred her yogurt, staring at him intently. "How old were you? A baby?"

"No, I was seven."

"Wow. Were you in the system long?" She put a spoonful of yogurt in her mouth.

"Nah. Carlisle knew my grandfather." He took another bite of bagel. He never discussed his circumstances, but with Bella, it felt like the natural thing to do.

"Oh…was your mother…um…unwed?"

Edward laughed. "No, my parents were older and married. My father was a fairly prominent doctor himself. My grandfather was on the board of directors of the hospital where Carlisle was doing his residency." He took a small bite of bagel, chewing slowly.

"Why did they put you up for adoption?" She watched his eyes as he recounted his early life to her.

"My parents were drug addicts, Bella," he didn't look at her when he said this. "My father ended up in prison and my mother died of an overdose when I was six." He lifted the bottle of soda to his lips, sipping quickly.

"And you were put up for adoption?"

"My mothers parents had passed away, and my father's parents took custody of me. My grandparents were up in years, and within months of my mother's death, my grandmother was diagnosed with dementia. My grandfather wasn't a well man himself, and he realized that if he didn't do something, I would eventually end up older and in the foster care system. He didn't want that for me, and decided to find a family to adopt me."

"Wow. He had to really love you to make that sacrifice, Edward." She couldn't take her eyes off him.

"Carlisle said he adored me," Edward couldn't look at her and stared out the front window of the truck. "I don't really remember much about him," he sighed, "but I do remember that at night he would sit in this great big chair in front of this really huge fireplace. I'd sit in his lap, and he would hug me tightly and read the Chicago Tribune to me until I fell asleep." He smiled at the memory. "Guess he bored me to sleep."

"That's a really great memory," she reached out and put her hand on his knee. "So your grandfather told Carlisle about you?"

"Well," he took a deep breath, "Carlisle was doing his residency at the time, and my grandfather had taken a liking to him. I mean, _everyone_ loves Carlisle." There was a sarcastic tone in his voice as he said this. "Anyway, Carlisle and Esme were just married, and Esme got sick. Cancer. They caught it in time, but not before she had to have a complete hysterectomy," he shook his head. "They were both devastated. The thing Esme wanted most in her life was a family, and here she was, a newlywed, and had no hope for one." He took another gulp of his soda, finding that his mouth was suddenly dry, and fidgeted nervously.

"If this makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to continue," she touched his knee again.

"No, it's ok. It was so long ago, it's like, I don't know…like it was someone else, you know?"

She nodded, and kept her hand on his knee.

"Anyway, my grandfather knew what had happened to Esme, and he approached Carlisle about me. They arranged for Esme to meet me, and that was it." He shrugged.

"Esme fell in love with the beautiful bronze haired little boy immediately," she smiled.

"I don't know if it was love at first sight," he chuckled softly, "but it was kind of like we knew we needed each other, you know? We were both missing something, and we filled that void in each other."

"That's a beautiful story, Edward." She rubbed his knee absently. "You moved to Forks then?"

"No, we stayed in Chicago for a few years. My grandparents both passed away a few years after I was adopted, and that's when Carlisle decided to leave Chicago. We spent three years in Seattle before ending up here two years ago. Picked up the rest of my siblings along the way. They adopted Alice two years after me. Then Rose. Emmett and Jasper came along in Seattle. They were both twelve when they were adopted." He bit into the bagel, taking a huge bite and chewing noisily.

"Is your father still in prison?" She kept her hand on his knee.

Edward shook his head. "No, he was killed by another inmate five years ago. They were fighting over cigarettes," he snorted. "You'd think I wouldn't smoke, knowing that, huh?"

"Had you gone to visit him?"

"No. My grandfather refused to let him see me, and Carlisle complied with his wishes."

"Your grandfather seemed to only have your best interest at heart, Edward," Bella shifted in her seat, feeling the need for a cigarette herself.

Edward nodded. "He did. Carlisle had nothing but the highest praise for him. He stayed in my life after the adoption, you know. He would always give me the best Christmas gifts," he laughed at the memory.

"What did he give you?" Her eyes were wide as she watched him. He seemed like a different person as he spoke of his past.

"A piano," he laughed, shaking his head. "A baby grand piano."

"A piano? Did it come with lessons?" She giggled with him.

"I got them after I got the piano," he laughed and took another drink from the bottle of soda. "I fought it at first. I mean, Alice and Rose didn't have to take damn piano lessons. But I did."

"Do you still play?"

"I used to. I haven't in a long time," he looked down at his long, slender hands, flexing his fingers. Bella noticed his eyes darken and decided to change the subject.

"Do we have time for a quick smoke?" She looked at her watch.

"Do we?"

"No," she frowned. "We should actually start heading to Bio."

Edward sighed and straightened out, stretching his legs as much as the space in the front seat would allow. It had been a long time since he spoke about his past. It was something he tried not to think about, although it was never far from his thoughts. Everything just seemed so easy with Bella. He opened the door and got out, walking around to meet her at the driver's side door.

"So, what time should I pick you up at your house?" The walked up the path toward the red brick buildings in the light drizzle.

"I don't know. I don't have to make anything for dinner for Charlie. He's ordering a pepperoni pizza," she laughed at the thought, "since he doesn't have to worry about me being home."

"Does he know you're going out with me?" Edward smiled at the thought.

"Yeah," she nodded. "He's totally thrilled by the idea that I have a date already. And he knows you'll behave, since he's the police chief and all," she giggled at the thought.

"He doesn't have to worry. I will take extra good care of you."

"How about you come by at four?" They were at the building, standing under the overhang to keep dry while they waited for the bell.

"Four it is," Edward smiled with anticipation.

~*~*~*~*~

**A/N: Hope you like this chapter. It gives a little insight to Edward's past. Reviews are appreciated :D**

**Be gone till Sunday, so for everyone in the US, have a Happy Thanksgiving & don't eat too much turkey :)  
**

**Remember...next chapter will be the date :D**


	6. Chapter 6: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

**A/N: First off, thanks to everyone who's sticking with me and reading this. I hope you are enjoying it and it's lived up to your expectations!**

**Secondly, this chapter was getting huge, so I decided to split it into two parts. Here's part 1. Updates will probably be taking me a little longer, what with the holiday's fast approaching and my lack of preparation. I've been a huge Scrooge these days, and just got my stupid tree up today, after it bit me twice, drawing blood, then gave me an allergy attack. So, I'm typing this while under the influence of sinus meds, which will explain any incoherent thoughts (I hope!!) I haven't done any shopping, unless you count the box of cards I purchased before Halloween, and I haven't baked a blessed thing. Humbug, I say!**

**Lastly, as always, Twilight and it's amazing characters belong to the fertile mind of the goddess, Stephenie Meyer.  
**

**Please enjoy...**

**~*~*~*~*~**

**Chapter 6: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend, Part I**

Edward followed his usual after school routine. He dropped Alice and the others off at the front door, and drove around back to the big garage behind the house. He clicked the garage door opener and pulled into his usual spot, noting as he did this that Carlisle's big, shiny black Mercedes was already in the garage. That meant Carlisle was home already..

He closed the garage door behind himself and walked around to the side of the garage. Edward sat down on one of the steps that led to a small porch by the pair of French doors that led into a small mud room attached to the garage. He had no idea what the room was for, as they never really used it. It just seemed to be a catch-all now. Snow shovels, salt and sand for icy conditions, galoshes for mud were all housed in here, though rarely used.

Taking a deep breath, Edward lit up a cigarette and checked his watch. He had about an hour to get ready and get to Bella's by four. He wanted to take a quick shower and change. Maybe the shower would calm his nerves. If he weren't nervous enough about his date with Bella, the idea of Carlisle's presence in the house when he was getting ready made it even worse.

He took a long drag on the cigarette and held his breath, holding the smoke in as long as he could before exhaling through his nose. Hopefully Carlisle would leave him alone, although he was pretty sure his father would seek him out. And why not? It had been days since he'd been berated for something, even though he'd done his best to avoid everyone in the family since the incident in the kitchen with Esme.

Shaking his head, he lifted the cigarette up to his lips and took a quick puff. He never quite understood how things had changed so rapidly, how easily Carlisle had been swayed. Perhaps Carlisle himself had been looking, lying in wait, for one false move. One excuse. One small reason to pounce. And he had. Swiftly. Without mercy. Even for his own wife.

Edward stabbed out the remains of the cigarette on the step he sat on and tossed the butt into the small, sand filled bucket Esme had placed on the small porch for him to use. This was the only spot on the property where he was allowed to smoke. He didn't much mind. It gave him a reason to get out of the house. Out of the house and away from the others. He slowly rose to his feet and, taking slow, loping strides, moved toward the house.

He entered the front door quietly, looking around for any signs of life. He heard Emmett and Rose in the kitchen, and quietly made his way to the stairs. Music was coming from the second floor, and he quickly recognized the music as that of Jasper playing his guitar, most likely for Alice. So far, so good.

He moved as swiftly as he dared toward the third floor, aware that this was where Carlisle likely was. The master bedroom suite that Esme had designed for herself and Carlisle contained not only the large bedroom with an adjacent sitting room and luxurious bathroom, but it also had a sizeable office attached for each of them. It was in his office where Carlisle could usually be found when he was home from the hospital this early.

Stepping with caution onto the third floor landing, Edward looked down toward Esme and Carlisle's suite. The door was open, with the light on. Lightly, he began to move in the other direction, toward his bedroom at the other end of the hallway.

"Edward," Carlisle seemed to materialize from nowhere.

Closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, Edward stopped, stiffening his back and squaring his shoulders. He didn't turn to face his father.

"Edward, did you get my text message this morning?"

Edward turned to face Carlisle, gritting his teeth together. The older man stood quietly in front of him, waiting for his response as he affixed a silver cufflink into the crisp French cuff of the pristine white shirt he was wearing.

"Did you get my response?"

"No, actually I didn't get any reply from you. That's why I was asking."

"Then you got my answer, Carlisle." His jaw was clenched tightly.

"Edward, I know that we haven't exactly been seeing things eye to eye these days," he kept his eyes fixed on the cufflink he was working on. "But I think that you at least owe me the same courtesy that you afford your mother."

"I'm sorry, _Dad_," his tone was sarcastic.

"Then I take it you won't be joining us for dinner?" Carlisle's tone remained cool and detached, although his eyes reflected the hurt he felt.

"No. I have plans."

"Working again?"

"No. I have a date." _Not that it's any of your business_, he thought.

"Anyone I know?"

"No."

"She's not from your school?"

"She's new."

"Chief Swan's daughter?"

How the hell did he know? How the hell did he _always_ know? Why the hell was he always up in his business?

Edward took a long deep breath. "Yes. Anything else you'd like to know?"

"Edward, you're my son. I'm interested in everything you do." Carlisle smiled slightly at him.

"Oh, I bet you are." The bitterness he felt toward Carlisle was evident in his voice. Anger spit forth in every word. "Always lying in wait for something, aren't you? Have your little spy network fanned out all over Forks, don't you. I know how you operate." Had he really just spoken like Yoda?

"I don't want to argue with you tonight, Edward," Carlisle sighed. "I had hoped that you and I could, well, at the very least, put our differences aside for one night, for your mother's sake."

"That's low, even for you, Carlisle. You leave my mother out of this." His fists were balled up at his sides. One punch. One hit. Just one. That's all he asked for. One chance.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way, Edward," Carlisle bowed his head slightly, as if contrite. "But it _is_ our anniversary, and you know it would mean everything to Esme for you to join the rest of us for dinner in Port Angeles."

"Please send my regrets," Edward mimicked Carlisle's formal tone. "I made these plans before I knew about dinner."

"Perhaps you'd like to bring Miss Swan with us?"

"Pffft," Edward let out a low, humorless laugh. "Yeah, when hell freezes over."

Carlisle gave him a hard look. "I expected as much."

"If that's all, I need to go get ready. I'd rather not be late."

"That's all, Edward. Please try to abide by the midnight curfew, even though I know you wont," he started back toward his bedroom, shaking his head as he walked. "And please, try not to come home too intoxicated or stoned this time, hmm?"

"Bite me," Edward mumbled as he hurried to his bedroom, locking the door behind himself.

Throwing his backpack onto his bead, he yanked the leather jacket off his shoulders and threw it on top of the bag. He paced angrily in front of the windows, nervously running his hand through his hair. One year and seven months until graduation. One year and seven months until he and Bella could get the fuck out of this hell hole.

He and Bella?

Not even one date, and already he was making plans for the rest of their lives. _Assuming a lot, I am_, he thought.

He shook his head and pulled his gray tshirt off, throwing it on the floor. He kept his bedroom neat, not allowing Esme's cleaning woman into it. Instead, he cleaned it himself, dusting and vacuuming weekly, scrubbing is toilet and tile until they gleamed. Sometimes, when he couldn't sleep, he would scour the shower, eliminating any and all soap scum. Bought all his own cleaning supplies at the Thriftway. No one knew any of this, of course, except for Alice. Edwards' was the only bedroom in the huge house with it's own bathroom, besides Carlisle and Esme's. It was his own little world.

He sat down on the big ottoman and untied his boots, kicking them off before sliding his jeans down and tossing them onto the tshirt that lay on the floor. He pulled his socks off and stood up, adjusting his gray boxer briefs. Ignoring his slender, pasty reflection, he walked past his dresser mirror and into the bathroom.

The hot water felt comforting as it cascaded down his body. He looked up into the steady stream of water, letting it roll over and caress his face. He closed his eyes, washing away the tears that were silently falling from them. Tears of anger. Tears from sadness. Tears for the past and tears for the future.

He forced his thoughts and his tears away, focusing instead on Bella Swan and the date he would be on with her in less than an hour. Bella, who's very presence this past week had made him smile~genuinely smile~for the first time in what felt like an eternity. He poured some shampoo into his palm and lathered his hair up, scrubbing his scalp vigorously and feeling invigorated from it.

He rinsed the shampoo out of his hair, shaking his head and making the water splatter all over the shower. The more he thought of Bella and the impending date, the happier he felt. What was it about her that made him so damn happy to be around her? That even the very thought of her could lift him from a slump?

He soaped up his wash cloth, and began running it along his arm, still thinking of Bella. Thinking of Bella being the one running the soapy cloth over his body. She would stand behind him, and slowly slide the wash cloth from his shoulder down to his hand, where she would lift his arm up so she could run the cloth back down the underside of his arm, along his armpit and down his side. Of course, her naked body would be pressed against his back while she did this. He closed his eyes and sighed, a soft shutter going through his body.

She would run the rag over his hairy chest before discarding it and using both of her hands to massage the soap into bigger bubbles. By this time, she would have turned him around so he faced her, the hot water caressing is shoulders and back. Her slender fingers would move across his slick wet skin in a series of circles, while her long, manicured nails would scratch their way down the hairy trail on his stomach for an added sensation. Before long, she would realize that it was much too big of a project for just her small, delicate hands, and she would add her full, pouty lips, moving them over his hard little nipples so that he could feel her lip ring scratching against the sensitive skin there.

Finally, her entire body would be moving against him, both of them slick with soapy water. He would feel her small, firm breasts hard against his chest, her taught, flat tummy against his hips. She would slide down his torso slowly, caressing as she followed the soft, wet trail of hair until she was kneeling in front of him…

His powerful orgasm caught him by surprise as he opened his eyes, clutching himself as he climaxed. A soft moan escaped his lips as he used his free hand to lean against the wall, knees trembling, so he wouldn't fall. He kept his head down, letting the warm water hit him on the back of his neck as he struggled to control his ragged breathing.

This was the power Bella Swan already had over him.

He finished up his shower quickly, toweling himself off roughly and wrapped the towel around his waist. He was a little ashamed of himself for what he'd just done. Things weren't like that with Bella, at least not yet. He just needed a release, and this had been a much better release than any he'd had at the thought of Hollywood beauties like Megan Fox or Ashley Greene. Through her ability to alter his mood like a drug, Bella was his release.

He dried his hair, spiking it up haphazardly, before donning a fresh pair of black boxer brief's. A spritz of deodorant and a light dab of cologne later, he was slipping into his good black jeans, pairing them with a brand new charcoal gray tshirt that Esme had given him last Christmas but he'd never worn until now. He grabbed his leather jacket from its spot on his bed and headed toward the call of his siren song.

**~*~*~*~*~***

Charlie let out a low whistle. "I'm tellin' ya, Bells, that Edgar is one lucky little bastard!" He stood up from his usual spot on the sofa and walked over to where she was standing, leaning over quickly and kissing her on the cheek.

She rolled her eyes. "It's Edward, Charlie, and thank you," she smiled.

"Edgar, Edward. Either way, he's an Ed, right?"

"He prefers Edward," she giggled, feeling giddy at the thought of seeing Edward shortly.

"You're really hung up on this kid, aren't you?" He grinned widely at his beautiful daughter. He was certain that when the other people in Forks looked at her, they saw a person that they knew immediately was _not_ from here. She was different, and different was scary. They probably couldn't look past the piercings, strange clothing and odd hair colorings to see the beautiful person they adorned. But, apparently, this Cullen boy could.

"Oh, Charlie, I am! I really am!" She couldn't contain her joy.

"Just…just be careful, ok?"

"Careful?"

"You…you know…be…," he hesitated nervously. "Be…safe."

"Charlie, are you talking about…" her voice trailed off as she came to a realization. "Oh my God! Charlie!" She felt eyes widen and her face redden.

"Well, you're beautiful, and I'm sure he knows it. And you really like him a lot. And you're both just a bundle of hormones at this age. I know. I used to be a seventeen year old boy myself, Bells," he sighed, and shifted his weight uncomfortably. "And, being a cop, I've dealt with my fair share of aftermaths as well."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I promise, Charlie, that I won't…_do_ anything with Edward tonight. I wasn't even thinking on those terms!" She smacked him lightly on the arm.

"Still, Bells. When things start to heat up, well, you can lose your sense of logic. Especially with someone you really like, like Edwin."

"Edward."

"Whatever." Charlie pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and began digging through it. "Just be careful, regardless of what his name is." He pulled something out of his wallet and cupped it in his palm. "Here, I want to give you this."

"What are you…Oh my God! Charlie! I don't _want_ a condom! Especially not from my _father_! I told you I'm not having sex with him!" She held her hands out in front of herself, closing her eyes and turning her face away.

"Huh? A what? You think I'd give you a condom?" Charlie guffawed. "That's like saying 'Here…go have all the sex you want with my daughter, kid'. I'm irresponsible, but not _that_ irresponsible!" Charlie couldn't help the amused expression playing on his face.

"Then…what are you giving me?" She looked at her father with caution.

"I'm giving you some money." He held up a small green square with a twenty showing. "You aren't exactly wardrobed for Forks. I figured if you saw something you liked in one of the stores in Port Angeles, like, say, a jacket or some pants or something, you would need some money." He grinned like a Cheshire cat.

She closed her eyes and heaved a sigh of relief. "You scared me!" She smacked his hand. "Thanks, but it's ok. You don't have to buy me clothes."

"Hey, you're my daughter. I have a lot of years to make up for, Bells." He held the cash out to her. "Please? It would make me very happy to see you in a jacket that actually kept you warm and dry."

Bella sighed and took the money from him. She flipped the folded square open and counted the bills. "Charlie, there's like, two hundred dollars here! I can't take this."

"Take it. Just don't pay for dinner. Let him pay. The Cullen's are loaded and that boy works like an ox," he nodded at her, smiling. "Besides, even if you don't spend it tonight, you still need to get a proper jacket. Winter here isn't like winter in Phoenix." This was true.

They heard a car horn outside the house. Bella turned and looked at the cable box. 4:01pm. He was right on time.

"That's him! How do I look?" She stood and straightened her black mini skirt. She wore black suede over the knee stiletto heeled boots with it, forgoing her usual combat boots for a sleeker look. She had also abandoned her usual high necked, long sleeved, body clinging knit shirts for a tight black corset~style halter top adorned with chains and buckles.

Charlie looked his daughter up and down. "You look…well, you look like Dominatrix Barbie, but who am I to judge?" Bella let out a long, low laugh as her father moved to the door. "Let's get Edsel in here and see what he thinks, shall we?

"Edward, Charlie! Edward!" She stomped her foot without much effect, as she was still giggling at the Dominatrix Barbie comment.

Charlie opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch. Edward had parked the silver Volvo right out in front of the house and was standing in front of the passenger side door in the light drizzle that was falling. He stared blankly at Charlie as he motioned him to come up to the porch.

Edward swallowed hard, and moved slowly toward the steps. It would be unwise to piss off Chief Swan on any given day, let alone the day you were taking his daughter out on a date. He climbed the steps like a man walking his last mile and stood in front of Charlie.

"Hello, Chief Swan. I'm Edward Cullen." He nervously held his hand out and Charlie gripped it hard. Edward winced slightly, much to Charlie's delight.

"Edmond, if you're going to date my daughter, you need to know two things. One, I expect you to come to the door to get her, not honk your horn down at the curb for her. This isn't a full service gas station. And two, you bring her home in the same condition she left here in. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," he rasped, his throat suddenly dry.

"Now, come inside, Ephraim. I expect any boy who dates my daughter to, at bare minimum, have the good sense to come in out of the rain." Charlie clapped Edward on the back hard, almost knocking the wind out of him, as he opened the door to the house.

"Bells," he called out casually. "Look what I found out by the curb!"

"Are you picking through the trash again, Charlie," Bella strode out of the living room, looking directly at Edward, her denim jacket on over the halter top. "Why, Charlie Swan! This is the nicest piece of trash you've ever brought home. Good job!" She winked at her father. "Hi, Edward." Her smile warmed Edward's numb insides as he felt his mouth drop open. If it was at all possible, she was even more beautiful right now than he'd remembered in his wild fantasy.

He gulped once, and quietly replied to her. "Hi, Bella. You look beautiful."

"Thank you, Edward," she blushed and looked at her father, smirking. "Anything you have to say, Chief?

"Yep. Edward, I expect you to respect the rules of the road, particularly the speed limit. I expect you to behave and be a gentleman to my daughter. Remember…I'm a cop. I know what to do with the body." He winked at a frightened looking Edward. "Lighten up, kid! You're going on a date!" He clapped Edward on the back again. "Have fun, Bells." He leaned over and kissed his daughter on the cheek.

"I will. Don't wait up!" She grabbed Edward by the arm.

"Midnight, young lady!" Charlie pointed a finger at her. "Edward," he called, and Edward turned to look at him. "Midnight."

"Yes, Chief Swan," he managed to quietly whisper with a slight smile on his face as Bella led him out the front door.

Charlie followed behind, calling out "Don't forget your seat belts!" as Edward opened the passenger door to the Volvo for her to get in. He turned, nodding to Charlie, then motioning for Bella to put on the seat belt.

Finally, Edward slid into the drivers seat, letting out a heavy sigh, relief flooding his face.

"Don't let him bother you," Bella giggled. "He's all bark. No bite."

"That's easy for you to say," he let out a nervous laugh as he started the car. "I never realized how intimidating Chief Swan was before." Classical music came from the stereo speakers, surprising Bella.

"That's because you never went out with his daughter before," she smiled. He looked beautiful. She could smell his soap and shampoo. He smelled beautiful, too.

"Heh. I've managed to avoid any run-ins with the law, I guess." He was starting to calm down as he hit the highway, heading to Port Angeles.

"So, what's in Port Angeles that everyone always heads there," she asked.

"Everything that's not in Forks," he laughed. "You've never been there?"

"Years ago, yeah. When I was little. I don't really remember it. There's a waterfront area, right?"

"Yep. With a small boardwalk pier thing. It's pretty cheesy."

"And a shopping area?"

"Yeah. There's like, a mall thing. Some museums. Mostly it's for the tourist trade, like those people who read those silly vampire books." He rolled his eyes.

"Hey now, I've read those silly vampire books," her voice was teasing.

"So you must be giddy with anticipation, then," he smirked at her.

"Oh, hell yes. I can't wait to find me a hot and spicy teenage vampire. After he eats you for dinner, he'll be all mine!" Why was this type of banter so easy with him?

"Take you to his mansion where you'll live happily ever after?"

"Don't lie…you've read the books too!" She pointed at him.

"Why would you accuse me of such a horrific crime against humanity?" He looked at her with mock agony on his face.

"Because if you didn't read them, you wouldn't have known he lived in a mansion! Ha!! Snagged, Cullen!"

Edward frowned. "You've found me out. I'm a closet teenage vampire fan. Please don't spread this around school. I do have a reputation to uphold, you know." He flashed sad puppy dog eyes at her.

"I promise to take your secret to my grave," she snorted.

"Thank you. I knew you were trustworthy." They settled into a comfortable quiet as he drove.

"So, how far is it?" Bella broke the silence.

"We should get there in about forty-five minutes. I'm afraid to speed. Your father might have an APB out for a silver Volvo carrying his kidnapped daughter, speeding along US-101, headed for Port Angeles," he shook his head.

"And being driven by a closet teenage vampire fan? Oh, be serious. Charlie liked you immediately. Why do you think he was joking with you like that?" She shook her head as she giggled.

"I dunno…he seemed pretty serious to me." His brow furrowed.

"Ya gotta lighten up, Edward. We're on a date," she smiled, looking over at him and bit her lower lip. He glanced at her, feeling the worry begin to slip away. She was right. They were on a date and he should lighten up.

"It seems to be clearing, so we can maybe walk through the outdoor sculpture garden," he mused.

"So, this is like, the local alternative to Seattle?"

"Yeah. Seattle's like three and a half, four hours away. Port Angeles is like a scaled down version~a very scaled down version," he laughed.

"I don't remember it at all," she frowned.

"Has your father lived here his whole life?" It was his turn to lead the conversation.

"Yep. Born and raised. So was my mother."

"And, I'm guessing, you were born there…but not raised, right?" He was smiling now, his jittery nerves a thing of the past.

"Yeah. Born. Raised in Phoenix," she nodded.

"And divorce is what took you to Phoenix. What brought you back to Forks?"

She hesitated, but it was only fair that she answer him. After all, hadn't he told her his whole history just that afternoon?

"Charlie and my mom, Renee, married right out of high school. Forks High School," she laughed and Edward chuckled softly. "Anyway, I guess at the time, marriage and being 'adults' seemed like a good idea. Or maybe a romantic idea. Or maybe an idealistic one, at least, but, I guess it was hard. Harder than they expected. Charlie joined the police department, and my mom was alone an awful lot. It was ok, I guess, until her parents decided to retire and move to Arizona, figuring Renee was happy in her new life, with a new husband to take care of her and a new baby to take care of herself." She paused. "Am I boring you yet?"

"Nope. I'm riveted!" He smiled, glancing over at her quickly but trying to keep his eyes on the road.

"Well, ok. But just let me know if you feel like you're going to nod off. I don't want to be the cause of you falling asleep behind the wheel."

"You got it," he laughed.

"Anyway, once my grandparents were gone, my mother was mostly alone. With me, a colicky baby, who cried constantly. Charlie worked crazy hours when he first joined the force, and with her mom gone, I guess Renee couldn't handle the solitude." She sighed. "So, one night, she just told Charlie that she was taking my screaming ass and going to her parents in Arizona. She didn't know if she'd be back. And we never did come back." She smiled a sad smile.

"So, what made you decide to move back? Not that I'm complaining or anything," He reached over and squeezed her hand. She flipped her hand over and twisted her fingers in between his, much to his surprise. He didn't mind, though and he felt his heartbeat quicken.

"Well, my mom's never been, shall we say…a conventional mom. Ever see that movie with Cher and Winona Ryder? The one where Cher's this flaky mom with no husband who feeds her kids like, marshmallows and gumdrops for dinner?"

"It doesn't ring a bell," he laughed. "Marshmallows and gumdrops? I think I'd remember that."

"Well, it could have been based on Renee," she laughed. "We'll have to rent it some night." She squeezed his hand. "Anyway, I was encouraged to express myself and march to my own drum beat, which, as you can see, I do. But mom, well, I guess she rediscovered fun when we moved to Arizona. She's like Peter Pan. Eternally young. And as she got older, her boyfriends got younger. Then she met Phil." She said his name with contempt.

"Uh oh," Edward glanced over to see Bella scowling.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm happy that she found someone to share her life with. Honestly, I am! I just don't have to share _my_ life with him, you know?" She shook her head, continuing. "Anyway, fist he moved in, and it was…different. He found fault with everything I did. I mean, I always cooked and did a lot of the cleaning. My mom's way too much of a flake at some things. But once he was there, Mom wanted to do those things. To make a home for her man and her child, I guess." She shook her head, before continuing in a small voice. "It caused a lot of friction between Mom and me," she sighed.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he squeezed her hand. "Believe me, I understand all about friction with the parental units."

"Thanks. Anyway, once they decided to get married, I knew I couldn't live in the same house with them much longer. My mom changed so much. She was like this different person. She had always encouraged me to be an individual. Now, because of him, she would be on me for my piercings and for my hair and for my clothing. Hell, she's the one who helped me pick my first tattoo, and once he came into the picture, there she was, telling me that I shouldn't get any more. My mother, who herself has a tramp stamp _and_ a Ziggy tat on her boob!" She shook her head. This felt better than she had thought it would. It was just so easy to talk to Edward.

"Parents are contradictions, Bella. Didn't anyone ever tell you that?" He chuckled softly. "And that's just a little TMI on your mom, by the way."

She laughed "Sorry about that."

"Although, you never mentioned your own tats before," he glanced slyly at her.

"And those will remain a mystery to you…at least for now," she winked and he laughed.

"Something to look forward to, I suppose. So, your mom and this Phil got married and you moved to Forks."

"It's not that easy. Before they could have the big wedding they were planning, Phil got traded."

"Traded? Is he a pro athlete?"

"You could say that, in that he gets paid to play ball. But he's not much of a pro. If anything, he's minor pro. And he's not much of an athlete. He's got a paunch on him like George Costanza!"

Edward couldn't help but snort at the comparison.

"Anyway, he got traded to Jacksonville. I knew there was no way in hell I was going with them. At least, in Phoenix, I had my friends, my boyfriend and my job. Gramps had passed away, and Gran was in the nursing home, but I would go visit her, you know?"

"You had a boyfriend?" He felt his stomach flip when she said it.

"Yeah, I had a life before you, you know," she grinned at him.

"Oh…I…I didn't know. I'm…sorry?" He hated being caught off guard. Was she still seeing this guy? Was he going to swoop into Forks for Homecoming? Was she going to graduate high school next year and run off with this clown?

"Sorry? For what?"

"For..uh…for this? For our date? I didn't know, Bella." He tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

"Why on earth would you apologize for asking me out?"

"Because I didn't know you had a boyfriend?"

She let out a deep, throaty laugh. "Oh, Edward! I—I'm not seeing James any more. We broke up before I even came here! Silly boy!" She squeezed the hand she held tightly. "I hope you aren't the type to be jealous over my past liaisons, are you?"

"Uh…no…no not at all. It was just, well, the way you said it. I thought maybe you were carrying on a long distance thing or something," he stammered.

"Nah. I mostly left Phoenix behind last week."

He smiled "That's good to know."

"Anyway, back to my story. I promise no more mention of former lovers. I don't want you to get a complex or make you feel inadequate or anything," she snorted.

"Very funny. Just…just finish how you got here." He couldn't help but laugh.

"Sure. Um…where was I?"

"Phil got traded?"

"Ah, yes. Phil got traded. That was three weeks ago. So, Renee and he decided to go to City Hall and get hitched before he had to report to Florida. She would stay behind and pack up things and, well, pack me up as well, I guess. So, I was her 'maid of honor' at City Hall. " She rolled her eyes at this. "I couldn't take it. I…I called Charlie from the ladies room at City Hall." Her eyes narrowed at the memory. "God, Edward," she breathed, "I was a mess. I was just hysterical. I couldn't move to Jacksonville. I just couldn't! I mean, what was there for me in Jacksonville? Renee had Phil. What did I have?"

"You had Renee?"

"No, see, Renee was all about Phil. There were days when it was like I was invisible."

He snorted. "Then we have opposite problems. There are days that I _wish_ I were invisible."

"You have to understand, Edward. For sixteen years, it was Bella and Renee. Renee and Bella. Then this…this…_interloper_ comes in and ruined everything," she shook her head. "I hated him for it."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I understand about that as well," he frowned, tightening his grip on her hand. They hadn't let go of each other's hands since they'd first clasped them together.

"I somehow knew you would," a warm smile took away the sadness on her face. "Anyway, without so much as needing a reason, Charlie said he'd send me a ticket to Seattle the next day and be waiting for me at the gate, if that was what I wanted. Of course, it wasn't that easy. Renee was pretty much dead set against me coming to Forks."

"Why?"

"That's the one thing she couldn't tell me. She really had no reason other than she was used to having me around. Finally, Charlie was the one to convince her. Took the greater part of a week for him to do it, but he did."

"How'd he do it?"

"He convinced her that she'd be able to focus all her attentions on her new husband with me safely in Forks. And that it'd do me some good, too. And that he hadn't seen me in five years," she smiled at the memory. "Charlie, he can be pretty persuasive when he wants to be. Charming too. And…" she looked down. "And when I got here, he had Billy Black's old pick up truck waiting for me. Just like that. Bought it for me without my having to ask. I think," she knit her brows together. "…it…it showed me how, even though I didn't see him a lot or even talk to him much more than I saw him, it showed me that he really, really loved me." She bit her lip.

"Charlie is a good father," Edward mused. _Unlike Carlisle_, he couldn't help but think. "And you two seem to get along really well."

She nodded. "Yeah. I thought it would be weird, but it's like, so natural. Charlie's a lot like me. Or…I'm a lot like him, I guess. We just fit together so well. It's so much less stressful than being with my mom, to be honest. And it's like a God send since she found Phil."

"So, is it safe to say that, Mike Newton aside, you like it here in Forks?" He laughed as he said it. Why did everything seem to come back to Mike freakin' Newton?

She laughed out loud, that deep, throaty laugh that made him tingle somewhere inside. "Yeah," she nodded. "Yeah, I do. I mean, if I hadn't come here, how would we have met?"

"Good point! He smiled, holding tightly to her hand, as they drove the rest of the way to Port Angeles, making fun of Mike Newton.

Edward easily found a parking space at the mall and turned off the engine. He turned to Bella. "We're here," he smiled.

"Why, Captain Obvious, I never would have guessed! Thank you!"

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, you have to cut me some slack here, Swan!"

"Ok, I will," she leaned in close to him. "Come open this door for me or I'll tell my father you weren't much of a gentleman."

Grinning from ear to ear, Edward got out of the car and quickly hustled around to her side, opening the door and grandly offering his hand to her. She took it and slid out of the seat.

"I figured we could walk around the mall a bit before going to eat," he slid his left hand in his jeans pocket. His right hand firmly held on to Bella's left had.

"That sounds good," she smiled at him. _Edward Cullen is holding my hand_, she thought happily.

"It's probably not like the malls you're used to in Phoenix. There's no Abercrombie here, I'm afraid," he let out a low chuckle as he shook his head.

"I much prefer Hot Topic, myself, but I guess you kind of figured that out yourself by now, right?" She just couldn't wipe the grin off her face. It felt like someone had stuck a wire hangar in her mouth and twisted it up into a huge smile. Edward Cullen made her happy.

"Oh, you won't find that here either," he laughed. "What is here, though, is enough to tide you over until you can make the trip into Seattle." He held the door open for her to enter into the mall first. "You'll also see a lot of art galleries. Art gardens. Museums. It's like, an artists enclave or something."

"Any teenage vampire art? I know what a fan of it you are." She tried to sound sincere, but the giggle at the end of her sentence gave her away.

"Not that again," he shook his head. "I was bored. Alice left the book in the kitchen. Why am I even explaining this to you?"

"Because you're mortified that I know your secret," she laughed and swung their clasped hands as they walked. "It's…it's not very big, is it," she mused as she looked around the mall.

"Told you," he laughed. "We can go see a movie after dinner, if you like."

"A movie?" She looked around as they walked slowly. "Nah, I'd rather sit on a bench and talk with you than sit through some crappy movie."

Edward felt his chest swell. "I have to confess," he looked at her, green eyes blazing, "I'd prefer that too."

They walked and talked through the entire length of the mall, and Bella even tried on a black jacket with a hood that she ended up buying.

"So, are you hungry?" Edward carried the shopping bag containing Bella's purchase as they walked to the car. By now, it was dark out and the mall security lights cast a creepy glow in the large, open lot.

She nodded her head. "Oh yeah. Shopping really gives me an appetite! Back in Phoenix, I worked in a mall. I was always shopping and always hungry," she laughed.

"Where did you work?"

"Where do you think? Hot Topic, of course! 40% discount, baby!"

"So I'm guessing you spent every penny you made, right?" He couldn't help the huge smile on his face.

"Every penny, plus," she laughed. "I was kind of hoping they'd have a store here, but I'm guessing the closest HT to Forks is three and a half hours away, right?" She sounded disappointed. She would no doubt have to resort to the internet for clothes, since, jacket aside, Port Angeles marched to a different fashion beat than Bella Swan did.

Edward opened the passenger door for Bella. "Well, I can take a Saturday off and we can go to Seattle for the day, if you like," his voice was soft.

She turned to face him, and her breath caught in her throat. She was closer to him than she'd ever been. His stunning green eyes glowed as they focused only on her. He was beautiful, there was no other way to describe him. When she finally found her voice, she was finally able to say "Yeah, I'd like that~if~if it's not too hard or something," she stammered. Did he hypnotize with those eyes? She felt dazzled.

"Nah, it wouldn't be too hard." She slipped into the car and he closed the door, racing around to the driver's side and quickly getting in. "I always ask for weekends, so I can work a full shift, but I can ask for next Saturday off. Besides, they owe me," his eyes burned into her from where he sat. She could feel her pulse quicken and her face flush.

He started the car and put it in gear before reaching over and taking her hand once again in his. Her heart jumped with glee as he drove out of the mall parking lot.

It began to mist as he pulled into a small parking lot next to what appeared to be a sculpture garden. A small Asian style building stood in the middle of the lot. A well lit red sign on top of the shiny black tiled roof proclaimed this to be The White Lotus. Charlie had been right.

"I hope you like it," he sounded almost shy. "This is my favorite place for Chinese."

"If you like it, then I'm sure that I will too." She unfastened her seat belt as Edward got out of the car, once again racing to her side to open the door for her. "You know, you don't have to do that every time, Edward," she smiled as she took his hand and slid out of the car.

"Your father expects me to behave like a gentleman," he whispered as he looked down at her. "And you deserve to be treated like a lady, so, I'm behaving like a gentleman."

She felt tears begin to well up in her eyes. Why? She had no idea. It was just how Edward treated her. Like she was something special. James had never treated her like that. She swallowed and managed to eek out a "Thank you, Edward," as she took the arm he offered as he led her into the restaurant.

The White Lotus was ornate inside, decorated in bright reds and sharp golds. It looked like a building she'd seen when her grandparents had taken her to DisneyWorld one year. There had been a section at one of the parks where all different countries had been represented. She'd been particularly fond of China, she remembered, because the buildings were bright red and there was a little bridge over a pond in front of it.

"This is so pretty," she whispered to him.

"Yeah, it's worth the trip just for the atmosphere," he smiled. "Two," he held up two fingers to the hostess as she approached him. She led them to a small table in back of the dimly lit dining room. There were already several tables occupied and the hostess smiled at the young couple as she placed the menu's on the somewhat private table.

"Thank you," Edward smiled at her before holding the chair out for Bella.

"Thank you, Edward." She pushed herself in as he sat down next to her. "I swear, it's almost like you're from another time, what with opening doors and holding out chairs," she rested her elbow on the table and laid her chin in the palm of her hand as she looked at him.

"Well, my grandfather was a stickler for manners, and he found a kindred spirit in Esme," he chuckled. "I really had no choice but to be polite."

"You are rare today," she shook her head. "I offer Mike Newton as an example."

"Ugh," Edward made a face. "Let's not mention that tool while we're eating," he opened his menu. "I'd rather not have indigestion tonight."

"Me either," she smiled down at her menu. "What do you usually get here?"

"Umm…well, I'm kind of fond of the moo shu…uh…pork," he looked at her with a sheepish grin on his face.

"That's a no," she laughed. "What else is good?"

"Let's see….for you, I'd order the vegetable lo mein. It's really good. And the broccoli in ginger sauce." He looked over the menu.

"And you're going to eat...what? Dead animal?" She turned her head to the side and grinned at him.

"Bella," he took her hand in his. "If you are going to be with me," he said sincerely, "you are just going to have to get used to the idea that I am a carnivore." He smiled his crooked smile at her and her heart melted.

"If I'm going to be with you? In the Biblical sense?" She heard herself snort in a very unladylike manner, causing an older woman a few tables away to turn and look at her. The color in her face rose as Edward giggled at her. He actually _giggled_ at her embarrassment. _Edward. Giggled. _And it was the single most adorable sound she'd ever heard.

He cleared his throat and picked up his menu, looking at it intently. "Eventually," he murmured, the grin never leaving his face.

She stared at him with. Being with Edward in the Biblical sense. It was definitely something to look forward to. "You know, you don't have to eat vegetarian for me. I can deal with your murderous tendencies."

"Just for tonight, I will follow your lead," he smiled as the waitress came to take their order. "We'll have the vegetable lo mein, the broccoli with garlic sauce, and the sesame noodles. Oh, and two cokes, please." He ordered for them both.

"Did you just…order for me?"

"Did I do something wrong?" He looked at her with his eyebrows raised.

"No, no, not at all. I…I kind of liked it. It was…commanding." _And sexy as hell_, she thought.

Now it was Edward's turn to blush.

**…..to be continued….**

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**A/N: So...anyone still reading? Did you like? I hope so! Please review!!**

**I will try to have part 2 up some time this week. Things are getting busy, but I will chug along as long as you still want to read :)**


	7. Chapter 7: I Wanna B UR Boyfriend, pt 2

**Sorry it took so long to get this one up. Between the holidays quickly approaching and spending a week sick as a dog (and working my tail off at the office!) I just didn't have the intestinal fortitude to work on anything but sleep when I had downtime! **

**So, this is part 2 of I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend. Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed this story! Please enjoy and review! :)**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and it's characters and situations belong to the fantabulous Stephenie Meyer, without whom I would never have 'met' Edward...**

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**Chapter 7: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend, part 2**

The dishes were nearly empty and Bella sat, leaning on her elbows, absently chewing on her chopstick as Edward spoke.

"It wasn't so much that I didn't want a lab partner, it was more or less that Crowley balked at having to be with me, the weird Cullen," his bright green eyes rolled.

"Why didn't Mr. Banner just tell him to go to hell?" She twisted the chopstick between her fingers.

"In case you haven't noticed by now, Mr. Banner's kind of, well, he's sort of spacey," Edward chuckled.

"Sort of? Dude, he's out there," she motioned with her hand over her head.

"Yeah," Edward nodded, smiling slightly. "He is. He's like, the mad scientist. He should be teaching chem lab," he laughed, "but they're probably afraid he'd blow up the school!"

"Oh God don't even joke about that, Edward!" She waved her hand at him. "We had an explosion in chem lab back in Phoenix. It wasn't funny _at all_. This guy, Laurent, he was a foreign exchange student from France. He mixed the wrong chemicals. I guess he couldn't really read the labels, or something, maybe? Well, whatever he mixed blew up in his face. He had these _really_ thick eyebrows, well one eyebrow, actually. They used to call him "The UniBrower" behind his back. Anyway, he singed that sucker right off!" she snapped her fingers.

Edward snorted. "The UniBrower?"

"Yeah. After the explosion, they just called him Larry." She mused as she rested her chin in her hand as Edward laughed.

The waitress walked over to the table, laying the check down next to Edward.

"I guess that we've been occupying this table too long," Bella sighed. She didn't want this evening to end.

"I guess so," Edward shrugged. "Do you want to go see a movie? They have a pretty decent multiplex here. I'm sure it's nothing like you had in Phoenix," he smiled.

"I'd rather just sit in the car and talk to you," she whispered, moving her head closer to him.

"Me too," he murmured, moving his head lower, until their foreheads were almost touching.

"You want to take home?" The waitress stood pointing to the remains of their dinner.

"No, no, it's ok," Edward sat up abruptly, and reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. He looked at the check and pulled out a few bills, handing them to the impatient server. "Keep the change," he mumbled as he stood up.

"Wow, she's rude," Bella looked at the waitress' retreating form. "Hey, I need to use the ladies room, ok?"

"Sure, I should probably go myself. Meet you out by the hostess stand?"

"Sounds like a plan," she smiled, grabbing her jacket as she headed off in the direction of the bathrooms.

Edward found his way to the hostess stand before Bella did. He sat down on one of the benches lining the walls in the small vestibule and waited. This had probably been the best date he'd ever been on, although he really hadn't been on many. He smiled to himself, thinking how easily the conversation had flowed and how effortless Bella was to talk to. He had just realized that he hadn't had a cigarette since he'd gotten home from school. He looked at his watch. It had been almost six hours.

"Checking the time? Am I that boring?" Bella stood in front of him, denim jacket slung over her arm. He couldn't help but notice how creamy and smooth the skin on her shoulders looked. How soft it looked. He had tried not to stare when she'd taken off the jacket in the store when she tried on the black jacket she bought. But how could he not? The halter top fit so well and, if he were being honest, her outfit tonight was so hot he couldn't help but be turned him by it.

"Nothing could be farther from the truth," he smiled as he stood up, taking her hand in his. "What do you want to do now?"

"What time is it?"

"A quarter to nine. We could go see a movie. Or, we can go to that little diner we passed by the pier. That's open twenty four hours." He opened the door for her to walk out of The White Lotus first. "Everyone sort of ends their nights in Port Angeles there."

"The diner sounds good! We can have coffee, since we didn't have any here, and talk some more," they walked slowly to the Volvo. It had just stopped raining.

"That sounds good," he opened the car door for her. "Just so you know, a lot of the kids go there after movies. So, we may run into someone from Forks."

"So? Who cares?" She slid into the passengers seat.

"We may run into Newton," Edward grinned at her as he got into the drivers seat and stated the car.

"Then we'll have to give him a show" Edward quirked an eyebrow at her. "You know…lots of making out. Lots of moans and groans and heavy breathing," she narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. "Lot's of groping."

"You wish, Swan," he smirked as he glanced sideways at her as he backed the Volvo out of it's space.

"Oh, admit it, Cullen. I'm your favorite fantasy," she grinned broadly out the window as she said it, and Edward couldn't help but smile at this. She had no idea.

He pulled into the busy parking lot of the diner and found a space. Once more, he got out of the car and quickly made his way around to her side, opening the door and holding out a hand to Bella as she got out.

"You're going to spoil me, Edward," she giggled, taking his hand. He couldn't help but feel a small tingle as he watched her legs as she got out. Those boots were making him think dirty thoughts.

The tiny silver bells hanging over the diner door jingled as Edward pushed the door open, allowing Bella to enter first.

"Two, please," Edward politely held up two fingers to the hostess who silently showed them to a booth for four on the other side of the room. Bella took off her denim jacket and tossed it onto the seat next to her as Edward did the same with his leather jacket.

"So, what's good for desert here?" Bella looked the menu up and down.

"The cheesecake's pretty good," he looked around to see if there were an familiar faces in the diner.

"Hey, have you ever been to New York?" She looked at Edward intently.

"New York City? Once. Carlisle and Esme took Alice and I to see the Christmas show at Radio City Music Hall. Why?" He looked baffled by the question and caught completely off guard.

"Because my grandparents took me once. One of my aunts lived there. My grandfather's sister. We went to visit Aunt Jane this one time, and she took me to this restaurant. I'll never forget it." Her face took on a dreamy quality. "They had this cheesecake. Real New York cheesecake. I don't think I've ever had cheesecake quite as good since!"

"So, you went to New York City and all you remember about the trip is cheesecake?" Edward let out a laugh.

"Edward, you don't understand. It was like…like…I dunno. Like Disneyland and DisneyWorld all combined into this amazing cheesecake!"

"Well, next time I'm in New York, I'll stop in and have a slice," he rolled his eyes and laughed.

"It's called Junior's. I saw it on a shopping channel on tv one night and I ordered it!" She still had the dreamy smile on her face.

"You ordered a cheesecake off a shopping channel?" He looked at her, surprised. Who ordered cheesecake off a tv shopping channel? Oh wait…Bella Swan did, that's who.

"I sure did! I still have the 800 number to call if I ever decide I need another cheesecake. And now, if this cheesecake tonight doesn't live up to my expectations, I'm going to have to order one!"

Edward laughed out loud. "You~you're killing me, Bella!"

"Dude, I'm totally serious! You'll see when you have a slice. You'll beg me to move to New York with you just to eat cheesecake!" She leaned forward and grinned across the table at him as the waitress approached the table.

"Yeah, yeah. Tell the nice lady what you want," he laughed.

"I will have a cup of coffee and a slice of your cheesecake, please." Bella never took her eyes off Edward.

"I'll have the same, thank you," Edward smiled at the waitress as he handed her their menus.

"You think I'm kidding, but you'll see," she wagged her finger at him.

"I may be going out on a limb here, but I suspect that you take your food quite seriously."

"You don't know the half of it," she sat back and waved her hand at him. "I mean, I may be veggie, but I need flavor! And lots of it!"

"Flavor's always an added extra when eating food," he laughed again. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this carefree. Bella just seemed to liberate him.

"Bella!"

Edward turned and was totally horrified to see Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory coming toward them.

"When did you guys get here?" Jessica was excited.

Bella looked at them, not sure what to say.

"Uh…we went for Chinese, but came here for coffee?" She glanced quickly at Edward, who was sitting slumped down in his seat with his head down.

"Oh cool! You guys wanna come to the movies with us?" Jessica seemed to bounce.

"The movies?" That's when she noticed that Mike Newton and Erik Yorkie had joined Jessica and Lauren.

"Hey, Bella," Mike waved but didn't smile. Erik only nodded.

"Hey," Bella gave a half hearted wave while Edward didn't bother to look up.

"Edward, you want to come with us to the movies?" Jessica just didn't get it, apparently.

"I'll do whatever Bella wants to do," Edward grinned and looked up at Bella from beneath his long, dark lashes.

"Well, I have a curfew," she began and looked at her watch. "I don't think I have enough time for a movie, guys. Maybe next time?" She shrugged her shoulders, trying to look as though she truly regretted not being able to join them.

"Ok, then, next time then." Jessica nodded her head. It didn't escape Bella's observation that Jessica seemed to look toward Edward when she said that.

"We need to go if we're going to make the movie, Jess," Lauren bossed. Lauren had struck Bella as a bossy bitch right from the beginning and this only proved her point to herself.

"Well, see you guys on Monday," Jessica waved as she turned to walk away, following Erik and Lauren toward the door. Only Mike Newton remained, and he moved closer to the table.

"You ok, Bella?" He shot a look at Edward, who remained slumped in his seat, head down.

"I'm better than ok, Mike. I'm awesome!" She smiled at him in a condescending manner.

"Ok, just making sure," another glance at Edward. "I wouldn't want you to be doing anything you didn't want to be doing."

"I can assure you, Mike, I am exactly where I want to be, with who I want to be with." She beamed across the table at Edward as her brown eyes locked with his emerald ones.

"Uh…well…Ok, just making sure. See ya Monday, then?" Mike suddenly felt uncomfortable.

"Only if you're luckier than I am," she chirped as Mike Newton slowly walked out of the diner, tail between his legs.

"Jesus! Of all the people, we have to run into that fucking asswipe!" Edward shook his head once Mike was out the door.

"Yeah, he's a frigging piece of work if ever there was one!" Bella sat back and crossed her arms across her chest. "Did you see the look he gave you? Where the hell does he get off? Little piece of crap."

"He thinks it's his job to protect you from the likes of me," Edward smirked.

"He wants to protect me from the nicest person I've met so far?" She smiled and leaned forward again, putting her hands on the table. The waitress came back with their coffee and cheesecake and placed it in front of them.

"Unlike you, most of Forks High doesn't think I'm nice, Bella." Edward picked up his coffee and sipped it black. "Or hadn't you noticed that small fact?"

"No, Mike sees you as a threat. You won the contest, Edward. You are his enemy now." She opened two packets of sugar and dumped them into her coffee cup, adding a generous amount of milk from the little silver container on the table.

"Lucky me," he smiled, "on both counts."

Bella stirred her coffee. "I hated Mike from the minute I met him. What a frigging tool!"

"That makes two of us," Edward cut into his cheesecake with his fork.

"The thing that kills me is his attitude. Who the hell does he think he is, trying to tell me who I can and can't be with?"

"So, are you telling me you're only out with me tonight to piss him off?" Edward stopped the fork midway to his mouth.

"Are you kidding me? That first day in Bio, I couldn't even look at you because I was afraid I'd blush if I did." Her eyes locked with his, and she could feel her cheeks warm as she admitted this to him. "When I saw you light up in the parking lot, I jumped at the opportunity to talk to you. Then, when I ran into you at the Thriftway and it was like, a bonus or something. Then, you were so damn sweet, it just made me think that if the only good thing that came out of moving to Forks was that you said hi to me at the Thriftway, it was enough for me." She felt her cheeks grow hot as she said this. Edward's green eyes sparkled like gemstones. Bella took a calming breath. "I knew that if I found out you had a girlfriend already, I'd simply die of a broken heart." She dug her fork into her cheesecake, shoving it into her mouth.

Edward looked at her, swallowing hard. She was so damn honest. He was so used to hiding his feelings. He didn't know what to say.

"What did you think when you first saw me?" She was twirling her fork now in the same way she had twirled her chopstick earlier in the evening.

"Do you really want to know?" Edward's tone was playful.

Her eyes bored into him. "I want to know everything you're thinking," she said quietly.

He sat back, letting out a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. "Well, my first reaction was that there had never been anything at Forks High quite like you," he laughed.

"I really am an acquired taste, aren't I?" She couldn't stop the smile that was on her lips if she'd tried. "Did I frighten you?"

"Me? Hell no! I thought it was great! They had all been yammering on and on about you for a week before you even got there. It was Isabella Swan this! Isabella Swan that! Isabella! Isabella! Yadda yadda yadda!" Edward rolled his eyes. "I had figured you were going to be another Jessica or Lauren."

"Surprise!" Her eyebrows shot up.

"I think I was the least surprised," he laughed. "Of course, fucking Newton thought he'd won the lottery."

"People, they have these general ideas based on appearances," her eyebrows knit together. "They look at me and they make an uninformed judgment."

"Guys think you're easy. Girls think you're a threat. Both think you're trouble." He nodded.

"That's it exactly. And, seriously Edward, none of that's true." Her voice was low and she looked saddened for a moment.

"You think I don't know that?" He leaned forward, placing his fork in his dish and reaching for her hand. "Do you think, for one minute, that I only wanted to be with you because I thought you would be an easy lay, like Newton thought? I could never think that."

"No," she looked at their clasped hands. "I never thought that you would think that way. It was the way you spoke to me that first day in the parking lot. You weren't like the others."

Edward smiled. "You don't know how happy you just made me."

She looked up at him, a small smile on her lips, the beginnings of tears glinting in her heavily made up eyes.

"Now, eat that cheesecake and tell me if it's not as good, if not better, than that big city cheesecake you think is so great," He threaded his fingers through hers.

"It's good, I'll give you that," she chewed thoughtfully. "But, as much as you'll hate to hear this, Junior's is better!"

"Ok, that's it, Swan. You order that cheesecake and you and I are going to have a cheesecake throwdown," Edward sneered at her, causing her to laugh her loud deep, throaty laugh. The couple in the booth across from them tossed annoyed looks their way, much to Edward's amusement.

The little bells over the door jingled and for some reason, he turned his head. His face changed when he saw them.

"Shit." He slumped back down in his seat, lowering his head once more, but it was too late.

Bella looked toward the door and saw them. "Who are they?"

"My parents," he sighed.

"They're looking over here," she observed. "Didn't they know you were going out?"

"Of course they knew." He shook his head. "Turn around, will ya!"

"Dressed up kind of fancy, aren't they?" Bella kept looking as Carlisle talked to the hostess, ignoring Edward's request.

"Tonight's their anniversary. That's why they're all dressed up." He felt his body tense.

"Isn't your father a doctor?" Bella still watched the older couple as they were shown to a booth several seats down from them, and on the other side of the room.

"Yes. Doctors have anniversaries and get dressed up too, you know." He laughed in spite of himself.

"No, I meant, why would they get all dolled up like that and then he takes his wife to a stinkin' diner for their anniversary dinner?" She couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh," Edward lifted his cup to his lips and took a sip of the coffee, trying to conceal his grin. It had cooled considerably. "They went out to dinner at some fancy restaurant with the rest of them. I guess the others ditched them and Carlisle took Esme here for coffee." Edward lifted his head and caught a glimpse of Esme. He frowned. "I think she's been crying. It's my fault, no doubt."

"Why didn't they take you with them?"

"Carlisle texted me about it this morning. But, we already had these plans. I wasn't going to break our date."

"Oh, Edward. I would have understood. You don't know how lucky you are that your parents are still together and still celebrating their anniversary." Her eyes were sad.

"Heh…yeah, I'm one lucky son of a bitch," His tone was bitter and he didn't look at her. "It's just easier if I don't go with them. Weird Cullen, remember?" His jaw clenched.

"Your dad keeps looking back here." She fought the urge to wave at Carlisle.

"Ignore him," Edward ordered.

"Do you want to leave?" She could see how uncomfortable he had become.

"No. Eat your cheesecake." He picked up his coffee cup and motioned to the waitress for more coffee. She obliged. "Talk to me about something," he was edgy.

"What do you want to talk about?" She squeezed his hand tightly.

"Anything." He shoved another forkful of cheesecake into his mouth, hardly enjoying the cool, creamy confection.

"Um…oh…ok…well…you know I am living with my dad, right? Charlie?" She swallowed and looked up toward the neon lights that ran around the perimeter of the diner. "Before this, I really hadn't spent a whole hell of a lot of time with him in quite a few years. Well, my first night here, Charlie came bursting into my bedroom swinging a baseball bat, and woke me up."

"Why'd he do that?" Edward didn't look at her.

"Well, see, when I'm under stress or maybe a little too tense, I tend to talk in my sleep. But poor Charlie didn't know this. And, of course, I didn't think to tell him, because I really didn't think I was stressed or tense or anything, but, I guess I was. Really stressed. Apparently, I was yelling and screaming." She paused for a moment and thought. "If I'm being truthful, I think I was dreaming about telling old Phil off, so I was probably shouting insults and curses or something. Anyway, Charlie thought an intruder had gotten into my room and the poor man came in swinging this huge Louisville Slugger! Took the lamp on the night stand right out and damn near gave me a heart attack!"

Edward stared at her. "You…shout insults in your sleep."

"Only when I'm stressed." She popped the last bite of her cheesecake into her mouth.

"Or tense." She couldn't help but notice that he was looking past her at his parents.

"Don't you do stuff in your sleep?"

"Yeah, but I can't discuss it in mixed company," he smirked.

She rolled her eyes. "You know what I'm talking about. Don't you talk in your sleep? Or maybe sleepwalk?"

Edward shook his head. "Nope. Once I fall asleep, I'm out." He probably should have said "if" he fell asleep. A good night's sleep was a rare thing for Edward.

"Wow…you really are weird." She took a big gulp of coffee as the waitress laid the check down on the table. "What the hell is it with these waitresses in this town? They push you out of the damn restaurants!"

Edward glanced at his watch. "We really should be heading back to Forks anyway. I don't want the Chief pissed at me, not with that wicked baseball bat he wields. He going for the Forks batting title this year?"

"Only if he mistakes your head for a bedside lamp," she snorted. He really loved being with her. She had the ability to lift him out of any funk.

They got up and each put on their jackets. Edward grabbed the check and started to walk the long way around to the cashier. Bella grabbed his arm.

"Let's go this way."

"Bella," he leveled a look at her.

"I want to meet your parents, Edward."

"Why are you doing this to me," he moaned.

"Oh, come on. I am getting a sense that you don't really like them, or at least you don't like your dad. And it's their anniversary. Just saying 'hi' to them is going to make things so much better. You'll see." She tugged him around to the other side of the diner, pushing him ahead of her as they rounded the aisle of booths and headed toward the booth containing Carlisle and Esme. If it would make Bella happy, he would say hi to his parents. Even if it killed him.

"Hi Mom, happy anniversary," he leaned down and kissed his Esme on the cheek.

"Edward! When did you get here?" She was surprised to see her son. Bella could see that she'd been crying, but the way her eyes lit up when she saw Edward was beautiful.

"We were finishing up our coffee when you walked in," his eyes danced as he looked at his mother. It was obvious to Bella that they adored one another. She couldn't help but notice how beautiful Mrs. Cullen was. "Hello, Dad. Happy anniversary." He held his hand out to Carlisle, who smiled genuinely at him as he warmly took Edwards' hand into both of his.

"Thank you, Edward."

"Is this the lovely young lady who has you smiling so much these days, Edward?" Esme's dazzling smile found Bella and she felt herself blush.

"Mom, this is Isabella Swan. Bella," he pulled her next to himself.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen," Bella held out her hand to Esme. "Happy Anniversary."

"Thank you, dear. It's so nice to meet you." Esme took Bella's hand in hers and held it for a moment, before releasing it.

"It's nice to meet you too," Bella was graceful and natural. "Dr. Cullen," she held out her hand to Carlisle. "Happy anniversary."

"Thank you, Bella. How is your father these days?"

"The Chief is doing well. Eating better since I've been here," she smiled.

"Please send him my regards," Carlisle's tone was light as his smile was bright.

"I will, Dr. Cullen."

"We need to be heading back to Forks, Mom. Bella's got a curfew…and so do I." He glanced at Carlisle as he said this.

"Drive carefully, dear," Esme patted Edward's cheek gently as he bent down again to kiss her.

"I will, Mom. Night, Dad."

"Good night, Edward," Carlisle smiled.

"Good night, Mrs. Cullen," Bella again offered her hand to Esme again. "Dr. Cullen."

"Good night, Bella. Lovely to meet you," Esme beamed at Bella.

"Same here," Bella smiled back.

"Good night, Bella," Carlisle waved as they headed toward the cashier.

Bella could tell how tense Edward had been during the pleasant encounter with his parents, but waited until they were in the car and heading to the highway to say anything.

"Your parents are so nice!"

"You don't live with them."

"Your mom is so beautiful, Edward. And the way she looks at you! She adores you!"

"Esme is an amazing mother," he murmured.

"And your dad! He's so handsome and youthful!" Bella was just gushing over the Cullen's.

"I'm guessing you liked them," he snorted.

"I take it you don't?" She looked at him in the darkened car. His face illuminated only by the eerie lights of the Volvo dashboard.

"I love my mother. Esme is the only mother I know. I don't really remember my birth mother. Esme loved me from the beginning. That first day I met her, she brushed my hair out of my eyes with the most gentlest of touches I'd ever felt. I knew right then that I'd walk through fire for that beautiful woman." He didn't take his eyes off the road to look at Bella while he spoke, but is voice was soft and filled with love.

"And your father?"

"Carlisle is a difficult man. He's difficult to read. He's difficult to get to know. He's difficult to live with."

"So you and your father are at odds."

"That's one way to put it. The only thing I like about him is that he loves my mother, perhaps more than I even love her. Although lately, I have questioned that somewhat."

"What do you mean?" she watched him with intense eyes.

"He's just made some decisions recently that I have found, well, questionable, I guess. Decisions that are maybe not in Esme's best interest." His voice was flat and without emotion.

"Can I just say something?"

He finally turned and glanced at her. "What?" She could see what she thought was anguish in his beautiful green eyes. Although, she was willing to admit, it may have only been the dim dashboard lights. Damn Volvo. Did they think everyone lived in the land of the midnight sun?

"When your father saw you approach, his entire face lit up. His whole demeanor changed. You may not think it, Edward, or maybe he doesn't demonstrate it in quite the same way your mom does, or your grandfather did, but Dr. Cullen loves you." She reached out and touched his arm.

Edward couldn't turn to look at her. It was too hard. It was too embarrassing. He didn't want her to see the tears that her words had caused.

~*~*~*~*~*

Edward pulled up in front of Bella's house and put the car in park. They had driven much of the way in silence. It hadn't been awkward. It had just been…silent. There wasn't anything to say, really. Now they sat in the car, both staring out the windshield, neither wanting the night to end.

Finally, Edward sighed. "I have ten minutes to get you home by midnight," he smiled into the darkness.

"Then you better move that hot little ass of yours and walk me to my door," her voice danced with delight.

"My what?" He shook his head. He'd never met anyone quite like Bella Swan.

"You heard me!"

He got out of the drivers seat, and grabbed the bag containing her new jacket from the back seat before going around and opening her door for her, helping her out as he had all evening.

"You've done it, Cullen," she smiled at him as she headed up the path to her front porch.

"Done what?" He sounded surprised.

"Spoiled me rotten. Ruined me for other guys. Who else is going to open doors for me other than you?" She started up the front steps with Edward close behind.

"Maybe Chief Swan can intimidate other guys into opening doors with his Louisville Slugger. He can demonstrate on a lamp," Edward turned to face her in front of the door, his mouth twisted into a crooked smile that played into the shadows formed on his face by the dull porch light.

"Maybe you want to see the Chief in action, Cullen?" She tuned her face up toward his.

"You want your father to swing a baseball bat at my head?"

"It might be an amusing way to end the best night I've had in a long time," she whispered as she took a small step toward him.

"I can think of a much better way to end the night," he sighed as he ran his fingertips over her cheek. She closed her eyes and her breath caught in her throat.

Edward lightly cupped her face in his big, soft hands, his fingertips twisting slightly into her hair as he tilted her head up. Her eyes closed as she took a breath. He brought his head down toward hers slowly. He could feel her breathing quicken, much like his own. His heart thumped in his chest as his pulse raced in anticipation of what was coming.

Slowly, softly, his lips touched hers. He heard her take a deep breath as he did this, but never break contact. He kissed her gently at first, then, pulled her closer to him. Her hands quickly went up into his hair, twisting his wayward bronze strands in between her fingers. He dropped the bag he'd been holding onto the porch floor and slid his arm around her waist, pulling her body against his as he deepened the kiss. He slid his hand up her back to where the exposed skin was warm and soft. He moaned softly at the glorious way the heat just radiated from her body and onto his hand.

Edward's lips parted and he sucked Bella's lower lip in between his. His tongue lightly slid along her lip, flicking against the small, silver ring. A tingle ran up his spine as a small moan escaped her lips.

She tightened her grip on his hair and pulled him hard against her as she backed into the side of the house with a thud. Edward felt his hips grinding against hers as if they had a mind of their own. The sensation was more than he could bear, and he groaned softly as he slid his tongue in between her now open lips, meeting her tongue for the first time. His mind reeled, and slipped from darkness into light.

"It's 12:02am," an amused voice called. "Someone's broken their curfew."

Edward jumped back abruptly, breathing hard and not looking up.

"Evening, Chief Swan," he said to the floor boards.

"Evening, Eddie," Charlie smirked gleefully at Edward.

"Oh my God! Charlie Swan! How long have you been standing there?" Bella stood with her hands on her hips, breathing hard, then stomped her foot in a fit of anger. She wasn't angry her father had caught her kissing Edward. She was mad the kiss had been interrupted.

"Just long enough to save my daughter's reputation, I think," Charlie's eyes glistened in the dim porch light as he leaned against the door jam. Edward dug his hands deep into his jeans pockets.

"Oh please!" She rolled her eyes. "My date was just saying good night!" Her eyes narrowed at her father.

"Past curfew!" He pointed at his watch. Edward still couldn't look up at Chief Swan. He was embarrassed that he'd been caught kissing Bella. Embarrassed that her father was standing there, looking at him with the most amused expression on his face that Edward had ever seen. Embarrassed that his body had betrayed him and he was absolutely certain the Chief knew little Edward was wide awake.

"Oh Charlie!" She bent down and picked up the bag with her coat that Edward had dropped minutes before onto the porch floor. "Here. I found a coat!" She shoved the bag at her father.

"Is it Edward approved?" He grinned mirthfully at his daughter as Edward's cheeks burned red and he absently opened the bag and peered in. "Nice jacket, Bells."

"Edward, ignore my father. He's being a total ass monkey right now!" She looked directly at her father as she said this and scrunched her nose up at him.

"Settle down, now, Bells," Charlie smiled broadly at his daughter. "You know I'm just having a little fun at poor Edward's expense. Yankin' his chain and all that. By the way, you have five minutes to say good night…and I'll be timing it." He winked at Bella before moving into the hallway and giving them a moment of privacy.

"Oh my God, Edward, I'm so sorry," she started to laugh as she brought her hands up to cover her face. "My father is…well, he's a lot different from your father!"

Edward kept his head down, but he couldn't conceal the big grin on his face. "I never took Chief Swan for a joker," he looked up at her. "But, damn, Bella, he's funny!"

"You aren't upset?"

"No, not at all. Embarrassed, yes, but not upset," he laughed. "He was just getting some huge jollies at our expense."

"He's incorrigible," she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Now, I only have a couple of minutes left to say goodnight," he pulled at her arms until they unfolded and limply fell down in front of her, Edward holding both of her small hands in his. "So, let me do this right."

He leaned in and touched his forehead to hers. She lifted her face up to his, until she was looking deeply into his blazing emerald eyes. Soft as a butterfly's wings, Edward touched his lips to hers.

"Good night, Bella Swan" he sighed.

"Good night, Edward," she breathed.

"Hey, did I mention that I wanna be your boyfriend?" The crooked smile that melted her heart played on his lips.

"I think you did," she whispered. "It would be so much easier if you were, you know."

"Then I think that maybe, I should definitely be your boyfriend, seeing how I kissed you and all," his eyes danced.

"Then Charlie would tease you even more," she reached up and ran her finger along his full, soft lips. His eyes closed as he breathed in deeply.

"Bring it. I wield a pretty wicked hockey stick myself," he smirked and took her hand, touching his lips to the back of it. "Good night, Bella."

"Good night, Edward," she walked into the house and closed the door behind her, but not before Edward heard Chief Swan's big booming laugh coming from the living room. At last he knew where Bella got her laugh from.

Smiling to himself, Edward skipped down the Swan's front steps and hopped into his car, feeling hopeful about his future for the first time in a very long time.

**~*~*~*~*~***

**  
So, there's the date. I hope you had as much fun as Bella and Edward did. Of course, we all have to suffer those little slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that the Mike freakin' Newton's of the world are, right? :D**

**I'm hoping to have another update for you in a few days, but currently, my work schedule is precarious at best, so I've no idea how much time I'll have the next few days. I hate year end...**

**Please read and review! I'd love to hear what you think! :D **

**And thank you again for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8: Wart Hog

**Thanks so much to everyone who's reading, reviewing and adding this to their story alerts! I really do appreciate it!**

**Sorry this is so late, but real life kind of got in the way, what with the holidays and all distracting me. I hope to be a bit less derelict in my duties now that Christmas & New Years are over. All I have to do now is take down the dang decorations (guess everyone knows what I'm doing next weekend, right? LOL)**

**Please enjoy and review!**

**Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga, it's characters, and it's themes all belong to the goddess, Stephenie Meyer and sadly, not to me.**

**~*~*~*~*~*~***

**_Chapter 8: Wart Hog_**

Bella flopped down on one of the steps leading to the bedrooms upstairs, legs outstretched in front of her, and let out a long, low breath.

"That good?" Charlie looked at her with an amused look.

"Better!" She looked at him with a crooked smile.

"Nothing makes me happier than seeing you happy, Bells," Charlie grinned, pulling her new jacket out of the bag he was still holding. "Hang this up when you go upstairs. And take the tags off so you can start wearing it, ok?"

"Sure, Charlie," she grabbed hold of the banister and pulled herself up.

"So…happy you came here?"

"Even happier. Charlie, you know why I came here. I was thrilled to come here."

"So you've said, but I still can't help worry that you aren't happy. Forks is nothing like Phoenix, you know." He carefully folded the shopping bag he was holding.

"Neither is Jacksonville. And, even if I hadn't met Edward, I'd still like it better here than anywhere Phil was." She took her new jacket out of her father's hands.

"You're never going to tell me the whole story, are you?"

"I've told you the whole story," her voice was soft.

"And I've told you I don't believe you."

"Stop being the Chief of Police, Charlie. You're my father," she rolled her eyes.

"Exactly. You'll tell me when you're ready, I'm sure, Bells," he smiled at her. "Now, why don't you tell me all about old Hot Lips Cullen, there…" he winked at his daughter.

"I swear, Charlie. You're going to give that poor boy a coronary," she shook her head. "He never went over the speed limit the whole time! Not even by one mile per hour! He was afraid you had an APB out on him!"

Charlie snorted. "He was? That's great! He seems like a nice, respectful boy, Bells. Dr. Cullen and his wife have raised five fine children."

"Edward seems to be on the outs with the rest of them," she mused.

"Does he?"

"Yeah. His parents came into the diner we were having coffee in and it really affected him," she frowned at the memory of Edward's reaction to seeing Carlisle and Esme at the diner.

"Well, he's a teenager. Just because you are so well adjusted and grounded doesn't mean all teenagers are, Bells." The edges of his mustache twisted up into an evil grin. "After all, not everyone has me for a father."

"Oh puh~leez, Charlie. I'm being serious here!" She spat out, exasperated. "Can you discuss something seriously for once?"

Now it was Charlie's turn to plop down on the steps. "You really like this boy, don't you?"

"Oh Charlie! I've never met anyone I've liked so much! It just feels right to be with him! Like we synch together or something. We just fell in step one day, and that was it." Her hands were clasped together as she held them to her chest.

"So, Edward Cullen is the yin to your yang?" Charlie looked at his only child with loving eyes.

"Yes."

"Do you think he feels the same way? It's awfully fast for you to be feeling this way, Bells." His voice was soft.

"I know, and the intensity of what I'm feeling for him frightens me, Charlie. It really does." She sat down on the step next to him and he put his arm around her.

"Just take it slow, sweetie. Don't let him push you into anything you aren't ready for."

"I don't think Edward would be like that," she shook her head.

"He may not be like that, but those hot lips of his may be the most persuasive part of him, Bells. You forget I was watching." He snickered lightly and tightened his grip on her.

"Ugh. Don't remind me. That was completely humiliating! And poor Edward!" She gave her father a dirty look.

"Color drained right out of that kid's face," he grinned at the memory. "It's so much fun having you here."

Bella stood up. "On that note, I'm going to bed. Night, Charlie." She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.

"Night, Bells. Sweet Edward dreams."

**~*~*~*~*~***

Edward pulled the silver Volvo into the garage. He had driven around Forks for a while after he dropped Bella off, to be alone with his thoughts and cool down a bit, and during that time, Carlisle and Esme had returned home. He pulled in next to Carlisle's big shiny black Mercedes and killed the engine, noting that Esme's gray BMW was missing. Obviously, the others had taken it.

While he understood why Carlisle had gifted him with the Volvo (which he chose to view more as a loan than a gift), Edward could never understand why none of the other's had been given cars. Moreover, he couldn't understand why they just didn't go out and get jobs to buy a car if they so desperately wanted one, instead of arguing with Esme and demanding the use of her car like they always did. He shook his head and got out of the car, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket and lighting one up as he reached the little porch that was his smoking spot.

He sat down on his usual step and took a long, soothing drag on the cigarette. He'd gone the entire evening without so much as a single puff. So had Bella. Maybe, if they spent enough time together, they could quit. Carlisle would love that, he snorted. So would Esme. Nothing would make him happier than to make Esme happy.

He thought back to the diner, and to what Bella said. About Carlisle, and how happy he was to see him. While he hated to admit it, she was right. Everything about Carlisle was different in that diner. From the way he stood to the relaxed way he spoke with Bella. It was like the old Carlisle. For a scant moment, Edward wondered if, perhaps, he hadn't been to hard on the old man. But he forced the thoughts from his mind as he sucked on his cigarette. No. He wasn't being too hard on him, for, ultimately, it was Carlisle's actions that took her from him. He ran his hand through his hair nervously at the thought.

He stabbed out the cigarette and stuffed the butt into the bucket of sand. Slowly, he rose and ambled over to the big house. He noticed that Esme and Carlisle's bedroom lights were on. They were still up. Swallowing hard, he prayed silently that he could get to his bedroom without confrontation.

The downstairs was dark as Edward slipped silently in the front door, heading to the darkened staircase.

"Edward," a voice from the dark called, freezing him instantly.

"Carlisle," he turned and faced into the darkness.

"I hope I didn't scare you. I was just putting the cheesecake your mother brought home in the refrigerator," Carlisle's jovial tone was the same as it had been at the diner.

"No, you didn't scare me." He'd half been expecting to find Carlisle sitting in the darkness of the large living room, lying in wait for him, as he was a half hour past his curfew.

"Good. Come, let's head upstairs." He held his arm out toward the stairs Edward had been heading to, motioning for him to move forward. Edward did as commanded.

"I was hoping to catch you tonight. I trust you had an enjoyable evening?" Carlisle was making small talk with him? What the hell?

"I did. As you saw, Bella is an exceptional girl." Edward couldn't help but smile into the darkness.

"She's lovely. Perhaps a little unconventional, but it's not about the looks, right? It's about what's inside." The two men continued to walk slowly up the stairs as they spoke.

"There's nothing wrong with how she looks," Edward tried not to snap.

"I didn't say there was. In fact, your mother was positively thrilled to meet her and absolutely taken with her, Edward," He grabbed his arm, stopping him on the darkened second floor landing. Edward turned to face his father, adopting a defensive stance. "Calm down, Edward. I just wanted to thank you."

Disarmed, Edward felt his shoulders slump as he relaxed. "Thank me? For what?"

"For salvaging the night for your mother."

"Excuse me?"

Carlisle let out a long, slow breath. "There was, well, an incident…"

"I knew she'd been crying," Edward spit out as his hands balled into fists at his side. "Rose?"

"Who else?"

Edward couldn't help but laugh. "And here I thought I was doing everyone a favor by not going."

"Please don't mention it to your mother, or to any of your brothers or sisters," Carlisle sighed. "The short time at the diner with you and Bella lifted your mother's spirits right up. She couldn't speak of anything but how wonderful Bella seemed, and how good she seemed for you. Edward, you made your mother very happy tonight." Out of nowhere, Carlisle threw his arms around Edward and hugged him tightly. Stunned, Edward stood still, with his arms at his sides. "Thank you, Edward."

"You're welcome. May~may I go say goodnight to her?" Still stunned.

"Of course! Please do!" Carlisle clapped him on the back in the same exact way Charlie Swan had earlier in the evening. Bewildered, Edward headed up to the third floor.

The dark hallway was illuminated only by the light spilling out from Carlisle and Esme's open door. Edward approached with hesitation, pausing twice to look back at Carlisle for reassurance. Carlisle nodded at him, imploring him to go forward. Surely he wasn't plotting a trap? Not after what he said on the second floor landing?

"Mom?" Edward poked his head into the room cautiously. Esme walked out from the bathroom in her night gown, rubbing her hands together. Edward immediately caught a whiff of her hand cream.

"Edward?" Her voice was cautious until she saw Carlisle behind him. She smiled past Edward to her husband. "Edward, come in," she said with a sure voice.

Edward smiled crookedly at his mother and crossed the room to her. Carlisle stood in the doorway, leaning against the door jam.

"Hi Mom," he sighed.

"Hi, baby," she reached up and brushed his copper hair out of his eyes, beaming at him.

"So…did…did you like her?"

"Oh, sweetie, she's wonderful!" Her hand rested lightly on his stubbly cheek and he couldn't help but close his eyes, sighing.

"It means so much to me that you like her, Mom," he looked into his mother's eyes, and for a moment, thought he would cry.

"I do, baby, I do. She's very warm, and she really likes you. I can tell."

"She does, doesn't she?" He smiled, as though he only now realized that Bella did, indeed, really like him.

"Yes, she does," Esme nodded and he could see the tears glistening in her eyes. "And why wouldn't she really like you? You're an extraordinary, sweet, amazing boy. I love you very much." A tear slid silently down her cheek.

Edward felt his lower lip begin to tremble, and with that, his entire façade fell. "I love you, Mommy," a sob escaped as he threw his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder, crumbling into his mother's loving arms.

"I love you too, my sweet, beautiful Edward," Esme's arms were tight around Edward, hands rubbing his heaving back soothingly. "Shhh…it's ok, baby, it's ok," she cooed as she rocked him gently in her arms. She ran one hand up to the disheveled bronze hair on the back of his head and fingered it lightly. "It's ok, baby. Mommy's here."

"I~I'm sorry," he sniffled when he finally straightened up and glanced toward Carlisle, who was still leaning in the doorway.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, son," Carlisle's voice was soft, comforting.

"You need to get to bed, baby," Esme ran the backs of her fingers across his cheek again, wiping away the wetness from his tears.

Edward nodded. "Ok. Good night, Mom," he leaned down and kissed Esme on the cheek, pausing to take a deep breath. Chanel No. 5.

Chanel No. 5 smelled like love to him.

"Good night, baby," she held his cheek to hers for a moment, before letting go of her still shaken son.

**~*~*~*~*~***

4:12 am

The bright red digital read out stared back at Edward in the darkness, mocking him. He lay in his bed, clutching a pillow to his chest, trying desperately to ease the pain contained within.

What should have made him feel better had made him feel worse, if that could even be imagined. It had made him feel guilt. Had made him feel remorse. He had been unfair in his assessment of Carlisle. He had tried, convicted and sentenced his father with little evidence to prove the verdict, and he knew that, in doing so, he had hurt his mother. Deeply.

He hated himself right now.

He had been lying in bed for hours, alternating between crying silently and staring back at the big bold numbers of his alarm cock, wishing them to change, willing time to fly. Praying for it to be time for him to get ready to go to work. Work, where he could think about something besides how badly he'd hurt his mother.

He had tried to focus on Bella and their date that night, but it would always come back to the diner and Esme's face. He loved her, There was no denying that. He had, however, finally realized that all this time he had been laboring under the delusion that he loved her more than anyone else did. That he was the only one. That he, her son, loved her more than her own husband did.

He saw now how terribly wrong he had been.

And the pain haunted him. Would haunt him until his dying day, no doubt. His own stubbornness had caused pain to the one person in the world who loved him. To the one person in the world he loved. And that was something he could never forgive himself for. Not in a thousand lifetimes. The thought made him feel like a monster. Like a big ugly wart hog and not at all the sweet, beautiful boy his loving mother saw when she looked at him.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes with a balled up hand. What was it about being in his mother's arms that made him feel so safe? He found himself wishing that he could crawl into his mother's lap right now. Curl up in her lap, with her loving arms about him, while she rocked him and hummed him to sleep, her fingers gently running through his messy hair as she did. Of course, that wasn't going to happen. Not tonight or any other night, regardless of how much he longed for it. For one, he wasn't a little boy anymore. He was a man. And, for another, he knew damn well what it would ignite if they were caught. Hell, he knew what would have happened had someone walked in even earlier this evening. He now understood Carlisle stationing himself at the door like he had. He was acting as the lookout.

Edward rolled onto his back, bringing his pillow with him, and hugging it tightly. He closed his eyes and thought of Bella. Bella, with the deep, throaty laugh. Bella, who's father seemed to delight in scaring the crap out of him. Bella, whose lip ring had aroused feelings in him that he hadn't had in what felt like ages. Feelings that were the same yet different from ones he'd once had long ago. He wondered if she was sleeping soundly.

He hugged his pillow tighter and breathed in heavily. He could still smell Esme's perfume when he did. He could still smell the love he still felt. He smiled to himself and nestled his head down in the pillow he was grasping tightly, finally drifting off to sleep.

**~*~*~*~*~***

The days fell into weeks, and the weeks passed like the blank, turning pages of a book.

And suddenly, it was late October.

Edward was Bella's boyfriend.

It hadn't been stated in so many words. It just was.

Mike Newton eventually got the hint that, at least for the time being, he was indeed the loser of the Be Bella's Boyfriend sweepstakes and reluctantly moved on, asking Lauren Mallory and her massive ego out a few times before settling on the much more eager to please Jessica Stanley. Eric Yorkie moved on to Angela Weber, a girl he felt was more in his league than the pierced Miss Swan, before Angela dumped him for good old Ben Cheney. Tyler Crowley eventually stopped calling Edward "the weird Cullen" and accepted him into the lunch circle. Edward and Bella had even begun to socialize with the others outside of school, a first for Edward.

"Bella, did Edward remember to ask for Friday night off?" Jessica was cutting the crusts off the remaining half of her usual turkey sandwich. Bella didn't look up from her yogurt as she sat next to her new friend.

"He said he did, Jess. Lord knows I've made a total nag of myself over it with him."

"I know he wasn't really into coming," Jessica frowned. She may have been dating Mike Newton, but the truth was she still harbored a small crush on her new friends' boyfriend.

"Oh no, Jess. That's not it at all. It wasn't the party he wasn't into. It was the costume." Bella smirked as she glanced sideways in Edward's direction. He was oblivious to the conversation that was taking place to his right, being deep in meaningful debate with Tyler Crowley about some stupid reality show that had been on tv the night before.

"What did you tell him to dress as?" Jessica took a bite of her sandwich.

"It doesn't even matter what it was. It was the idea of wearing a costume at all that had his panties in a bunch," Bella rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's obstinance.

"Did you tell him costumes are _mandatory_?" Jessica emphasized the last word.

"I did," Bella nodded. "But he just made fun of it and said 'oh, are we having a great unmasking at midnight like in the movies?'" She mimicked Edward's voice as she rolled her eyes again. "I think it was our first fight, actually," she laughed a little.

"The perfect couple arguing? Who would have guessed?" Jessica giggled as she took another bite of her sandwich. If Edward and Bella were at odds, would Edward seek Jessica out as a shoulder to cry on?

"Oh, please. We're far from perfect. I mean, my boyfriend has no sense of fun, Jess!" Bella scraped the remaining yogurt from the plastic container and licked it off the spoon.

"I'm sure he does, Bella. Maybe he had a bad Halloween experience as a kid?" She shoved the remains of her sandwich into he mouth, chewing thoughtfully. The only person at the lunch table that ate faster than Jessica was Bella.

"Actually, I think he's just worried he'll look stupid," Bella snickered at the thought. But she felt that what she had planned for Edward for Halloween was far from stupid.

"So then, tell me, what is it you have planned that he thinks is so stupid?" Jessica stood up and tossed her lunch bag in the nearby trash can and motioned for Bella to follow her to the ladies room.

"Well, I'm going as a naughty nurse, and I want Edward to be my hot doctor!" Jessica pushed the door to the ladies room open and held it for Bella, rolling her eyes in dramatic fashion at her hot friend. Of course Bella would dress in a sexy costume.

"Maybe it's the 'naughty' part of the costume that has Edward uncomfortable, Bella?" Jessica played with her hair in the mirror as Bella washed her hands.

"Oh please, Jess. Edward's seen me in less!"

"I bet he has," the much plainer girl grumbled, smirking.

"What was that?" Bella held her hands under the loud hand dryer.

"I said, I bet he wishes!" _Nice save_, she thought to herself as she walked around to the bathroom stalls and checked under them for feet. The coast seemed to be clear.

"Listen, Bella," she leaned against the sink next to where Bella was now playing with her hair in the mirror. The bright pink stripes that had framed her face had now been replaced by by bright orange, in the spirit of the season, of course.

"What's up Jess?"

"Don't hate me, ok? There wasn't really anything I could do," she sighed.

"What?" Bella dropped her hands from her hair and turned to face her friend.

"In French this morning, Alice Cullen approached me. About Friday."

"About the party? Bella felt her stomach flip, sending the yogurt she'd just eaten spattering all over.

Jessica nodded. "Yeah, about the party."

"Wh-what did she want to know?"

"She wanted to know if she and the rest of the Cullen's were welcome."

"Holy crap," Bella let out a long breath. "What did you tell her?"

"I told her it was an open invite, so it meant anyone could come," Jessica shrugged.

"Oh, thanks Jess! You know Edward doesn't get on with them!" Bella was furious. "What the fuck did you tell her it was ok for?"

"Let me finish," Jessica rolled her eyes in an exasperated manner. "I told her it was an open invite for anyone, _but_, I also told her that Edward was specifically invited, and that I didn't want any trouble. I told her if they started anything, they'd be asked to leave, not Edward, because he's my friend." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"What the hell do they want to go to your party for anyway? They hang out at clubs in Port Angeles all the time. They don't "do" high school shit." Bella leaned on the sink as she made air quotes.

"I think they just want to upset you and Edward. Mike and Tyler are going to keep an eye on them for us."

"Oh Jess, Mike and Tyler together couldn't handle Emmett by himself, let alone the four of them together," Bella let out a resigned sigh, shaking her head. "No, they just want to try to ruin Edward's good time."

"Shit, Bella, I'm sorry. I'll go find her in the cafeteria and tell her that after thinking about it for a bit, maybe it's better if they don't come?" Jessica was sincere in her offer.

"No, you can't do that. They'll just take it out on Edward all the more." Bella rubbed her chin, deep in thought.

"What the hell is with him and his brothers and sisters, Bella?"

"I don't know, Jess," she looked up at Jessica, tears glistening brightly in her eyes. "He won't discuss it. Just says that the don't get along."

Jessica reached out and rubbed her troubled friends arm. "Bella, I'm so sorry."

"Nah, don't be. They were probably planning to crash anyway. Alice and Edward do get along, he says, so maybe she figured it would take a little bit of the wind out of their sails if we expected them?"

"That could be~"

Jessica's sentence was cut off as the bathroom door opened and Alice Cullen bounced in and over to them.

"Jessica! I can't wait until Friday night! Hi Bella!" Her musical voice echoed off the tile walls of the girl's bathroom.

"Uh…hi Alice?" Bella eyed her warily.

"Oh, I can't wait to spend some time with you on Friday night and get to know you better! I just know you and I are going to be great friends!" Alice bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. Bella noticed the much tinier girl was wearing black patent leather ballet flats.

"You think?" Bella was skeptical.

"I don't think! I know! If Edward loves you, I'm positive I will too!" The exuberant pixie of a girl threw her arms around Bella and hugged her tightly, shocking her.

"Well, you seem pretty sure of yourself," Bella managed to squeeze out as Alice cut off her air supply.

"I'm so excited!" Alice stepped back and danced over to the sink, washing her hands.

"So it seems," Jessica looked at Bella, shrugging.

"It's not every day I get to go to a party with Edward," she reached for a paper towel. "We don't exactly run in the same social circles," she frowned.

"I gathered that," Bella crossed her arms over her chest.

Alice turned and looked at Bella, sorrow in her eyes. "I love my brother very much, Bella. I know it doesn't appear that way, but I do. And he knows I do. I hate the way things have turned out as much as he does. At least, I hope he hates it," she frowned.

Bella and Jessica exchanged quick glances. "Well, to be honest, Alice, we don't exactly sit around discussing the family dynamics of the Cullen's," Bella tried to sound diplomatic. "I mean, your relationship with Edward really has no bearing on my relationship with him," she thought for a moment. "Of course, if any of you were to, say, hurt him…in any way…well…I couldn't just stand by and watch that. You understand, right?" _Careful, Swan_, she thought. But the allure of finding out a little more about what happened with the sibs was just too great for Bella. Edward didn't discuss his family with her, but that didn't make her any less curioius.

"Of course, Bella. I couldn't stand by and watch him hurt anymore either," Alice's musical voice was a whisper now. "I did that once, and will regret it for the rest of my life. Never again." Alice's eyes had a far away look to them as she shook her head.

The bell rang, effectively ending the little game in the ladies room. Alice smiled sadly at Bella, reaching out and touching her arm before skipping out of the bathroom.

"Did she just _skip_ out of here?" Jessica whispered to Bella.

"Oh good, I didn't imagine that," Bella blinked. "Was that not the single weirdest conversation I've ever had?"

"Do you have any idea what she was talking about?"

"Not a clue."

"You'll warn Edward then?"

"He's coming over after school. I'll do it then."

**~*~*~*~*~***

"Now, Eddie, aren't you glad you stayed for dinner?" Charlie Swan had decided that 'Edward' was simply too formal and, while at the Swan residence, he would be simply referred to as 'Eddie' instead. Edward knew better than to argue with his girlfriend's armed father.

"Yes, Chief Swan, I am." He smiled at Bella as she handed him the dishes to dry.

"And Bells here is happy you stayed. She has someone to dry the dishes!" Charlie cackled at his own joke.

"Ha ha. Very funny, Charlie," Bella rolled her eyes at Edward.

The phone on the kitchen wall rang and Charlie got up to answer it. "Admit it, Eddie. My little girl is a great cook, even if there wasn't any meat in it," he picked up the phone. "Swan here."

Bella and Edward continued to wash and dry as Charlie listened to the person on the other end of the receiver.

"Oh hell. Again? Uh huh. Uh huh. Ok. Thanks." Charlie hung up the phone. "I have to run down to the station for a few minutes, kids."

"What happened?" Bella looked at her father.

"Jacob Black. 'Got into the firewater' again." Charlie shook his head.

"Again?" Bella frowned.

"What's going on?" Edward looked from Bella to Charlie.

"My buddy, Billy Black~the fellow I got Bella's truck from. His youngest boy, Jacob, got picked up for public intoxication and underage drinking again," Charlie sighed as he pulled on his gun belt.

"And when they pick him up, he likes to say he 'got into the firewater'," Bella shook her head.

"What's that mean?" Edward was clueless.

Charlie was yanking is jacket on. "The Blacks are from the Quileute reservation in La Push. Apparently, Jacob finds it funny to refer to alcohol 'firewater' when he's had too much. I'll be back in a few. Sorry to run out like this, Edward."

"No problem, Chief Swan. This is important," Edward was used to urgent situations arising. After all, his father was a doctor.

"Sam Uley driving Billy to town to bail him out?" The soap suds on Bella's hands were dripping on the floor as she turned to watch her father.

"Yeah, and I want to be there when they get there. Soften the blow a little, if I can, you know?" Billy was Charlie's oldest and dearest friend. To see Billy's youngest boy giving him such a hard time hurt Charlie deeply.

"Ok, we'll be here. I'll hold off brewing the coffee until you're back."

"Thanks, Bells," Charlie pecked his daughter on the forehead before nodding at Edward and leaving the house.

"So, Jacob Black does this often?" Edward went back to drying the wet dishes.

"Often enough that Charlie's starting to worry about it," Bella scrubbed the pan the lasagna had baked in.

"How old is he?"

"Sixteen. We used to play when I was little. I hadn't seen him in years. You should see him. He's huge. Looks a lot older than sixteen, which probably makes it pretty easier for him to get the booze, I'm sure."

"That's too bad. His dad doesn't drive?"

"Billy's a diabetic. He's in a wheelchair, so he can't drive. That's why Charlie bought his truck. Jacob kept that engine in tip top shape. He's got magic hands, that kid, but I guess the lure of his damn 'firewater' is far more appealing to him," she spat out the word 'firewater' in anger.

"That's too bad," Edward took the lasagna pan from Bella and dried it as she put the rest of the dried dishes away. "So, what do you want to do till your father gets back?"

"Well, there's no telling when he'll be back, so we can't risk sex," she deadpanned. While she longed for Edward in that way, he had been a perfect gentleman during their month long courtship. Not that she minded. She really did enjoy the way Edward treated her, opening doors and such. He made her feel like a lady. "And we will never hear the end of it if he walks in on a hot and heavy make out session," she winked at Edward. "So, how about a movie and a good cuddle on the sofa till he gets back?" She moved into the living room and plopped down on the sofa.

Edward followed her in. "Sounds good. Should I pick a movie?"

"Go for it, stud."

He looked over the large collection of DVD's in the case next to the giant plasma tv that hung on the wall of the small living room. "Quite a selection. Charlie likes movies."

"Actually, those are all mine," she smiled. "Charlie didn't even know that his fancy plasma hd sports machine on the wall there even had a DVD player in it until I got here."

"You're kidding," he looked at her in disbelief.

"Nope. But, Charlie knew I loved watching DVDs. So, when I got here, he had this fancy, expensive blue ray thing sitting on the coffee table with a giant blue bow on it, just waiting for me." She stretched and put her legs up on the coffee table, nervous about her mission tonight.

"That's kind of sweet, Bella," the crooked smile appeared on Edwards lips. The crooked smile that melted her heart every time she saw it.

"It was, but I made him return it. It was really expensive and we didn't need it, since the sports machine already had a dvd in it's belly. He said that he's getting me one of these for my room for Christmas, though," she waved her hand at the giant screen on the wall. "I told him it better come with cable."

Edward continued to peruse the DVD selections. "So, if these are all your DVD's, why is there a box set of all the Die Hard movies, but only one Harry Potter movie?"

Bella felt the color rise in her cheeks.

"Ha! Bella has a thing for Bruce Willis!" Edward cackled with glee. "You like old bald guys, Bella?"

"Oh, shut up, Edward!" She grabbed a throw pillow from the sofa and tossed it at Edward, failing miserably at hitting him.

He continued to grin like the Cheshire Cat. "So, I guess this means you'll still love me when I'm a bald, fat, middle aged dude?"

"Shut up and pick a movie, asshole," she tried desperately to keep a straight face but collapsed in a heap of giggles instead.

"And, out of all the stupid Harry Potter movies, the only one you have is Goblet of Fire? Why, Bella? Why?"

She sighed, picking at a piece of lint on her black shirt, not looking at him. "Because I maybe had a small thing for the guy who played Cedric Diggory?"

"The dead guy? You were in love with a corpse? Oh yeah, great actor, lying there dead and all," he held his arms out and mimicked playing dead. "Whatever happened to that guy, anyway?"

She shook her head. "Last time I saw him, he was standing naked in front of a mirror with his jibblies tucked."

Edward stared at her. "His…uh...what?"

"His jibblies. His bits? Junk?"

"Yeah, I got that, but _tucked_? What is old dead Ced doing? Making porn?"

"No, it was some artsy film."

"Yeah, that's what they all try to call porn," he snorted.

"No, he was playing some gay artist. He was standing in front of a mirror, and, you know, it was tucked."

"Tucked."

"Yeah, like, **THE TUCK**."

"But…how?" Edward stared at her in disbelief.

"Edward, I have no idea." Bella was losing her patience with her boyfriend. Maybe he was jealous of Cedric? "You have the equipment. Figure it out yourself!"

Edward giggled. "I'll pass on that, thank you very much."

"Just…pick a movie already!" He could be so exasperating at times!

"Ok, Goblet of Fire it is…just so my girlfriend can swoon over Cedric," he giggled as he slid the DVD into the side of the tv. How she loved that giggle.

"Well, you know, I did hear that he's been cast to play the lead in the teenage vampire in the movie they are making," she smirked at him.

"Oh, great! I guess that means I'll have to sit through that shitty movie for you?"

"Maybe, but if he still has the same affect on me that he had in Harry Potter, guess who'll reap the benefits?" Her long mascara'd eyelashes batted at Edward.

"Yeah, but call me 'Cedric' and you'll pay for it."

"Get your hot little ass over here, Cullen," Bella patted the sofa next to her and Edward gladly flopped down, pulling her into him as soon as he sat. "That's more like it, mister," she snuggled her head into his the crook between his shoulder and neck, breathing in his scent.

Edward wrapped both his arms around her, holding her tightly to him. He kissed the top of her head. "I bet I could beat Cedric at Quidditch."

"Bet Cedric would knock you off your broom and right onto that hot little ass of yours."

"Bet I kiss better than he does."

"Bet Cho wasn't complaining." She planted a light kiss on his neck and felt him shudder slightly.

"Bet Cho was shocked when she discovered Cedric had no~what was that word? Jibblies? Isn't the teenage vampire supposed to be anatomically correct?" Edward shifted uncomfortably.

Bella sighed and shifted, sitting up next to him. "Edward, we have to talk."

"What?" Edward grew concerned. "What is it?"

"It's about the party."

"Go on," he held his breath.

"Alice approached Jess today and asked if it was ok if she and the rest of your family come to the party."

Bella could see what little color there was in Edward's pale face drain. He ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"Wh-what did she tell her?"

"What could she do? It was an open invite party," Bella picked at a thread hanging from the hem of her skirt. Anything to not have to look at his face. That beautiful, disappointed face. She didn't want to see the dispair.

"I guess," he sighed and sat back on the sofa, running both hands through his hair.

"But she did tell her that if they made any trouble, they'd have to leave, since you are her friend and all."

"Gee thanks, Jess," sarcasm dripped from his voice.

"Look," She turned to face him finally. "She did the best she could. We are just going to go and have a good time." She ran her had down his chest lightly. "If they come, just ignore them. Let them make fools of themselves. Hell, half the student body hates them anyway because they are all so stuck up."

"Sure. That sounds like a great plan, Bella."

"And Mike and Tyler will be watching them, so you won't have to."

"Wow. I have body guards now." He burrowed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"Edward, look at me," Bella pulled at his wrists. Slowly, he let her pull his hands away from his face. "Look at me. We don't have to go."

"And let them win? Fuck no!" She twisted her fingers into his. "Jess is your friend. This is her party. We are going. We'll just…just play it by ear, I guess."

"It's going to be all of our friends at the party, not theirs."

"I know."

"Edward, I'm sorry," she tossed her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest, listening to the rhythmic thumping of his heart. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder while running his other hand through his mussed hair again.

"It's not your fault, baby. I should have realized this would happen," he sighed.

They sat in silence while Harry Potter battled flying dragons on the tv.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?"

"Why don't you get along with your brothers and sisters?"

"Not tonight, Bella."

**~*~*~*~*~***

**A/N: This was sort of a transitional chapter and to be honest, was kind of difficult to write. I kept writing and deleting, changing directions, deleting, going back, deleting. Of course, being stuffed with Christmas cookies most of the time and trying to write between addressing cards and wrapping gifts didn't reall help my train of thought any. Hope you enjoy the end result. **

**Don't worry, the party's coming up! Costumes galore! **

**Oh, and I had to toss a little shout out in there for the LTR ladies...can you guess what it was? :D**

**Please review and let me know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9: Howlin' At The Moon

**Thanks again to everyone sticking with me. I hope you are enjoying the story! **

**I wonder if anyone's made the connection as to what the chapter titles are...Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?**

**Now to settle down to business...I do not own Twilight. Lord knows I wish I did. But no, Twilight, it's charactes and situations are the property of the lovely Stephenie Meyer and not the lowly Karis J Anderson.**

**Please enjoy, and leave a little love if you like :D**

**~*~*~*~*~***

**_Chapter 9: Howlin' At The Moon_**

Friday dawned cold, damp and overcast. A typical Forks Halloween was on the schedule. Except this year, Edward wouldn't be working or hiding in his room. This year, Edward would be participating.

He noticed it the minute he entered his bedroom after school and the warm feeling it gave him flooded him. Of course Carlisle wouldn't let him down. Locking the door behind him, Edward moved quickly to his bed.

Clean, green hospital scrubs with the name "CULLEN" stenciled under the left shoulder sat neatly folded, along with a crisp, white doctor jacket with the words "Dr. C. Cullen" embroidered over the left breast pocket.

Edward picked up the white jacket and held it up in front of himself, looking at it, feeling the lump forming in his throat. He had texted Carlisle earlier in the week, asking if he could borrow a jacket or a set of scrubs for the party, and his father had been more than willing to help. He swallowed down the lump.

He picked up the scrubs, and noticed a small brown paper bag tucked up neatly beneath the clothes. He sat down on the bed, and opened the bag, looking in. Props. Carlisle had provided him with props. And a note. Edward took out the note and read Carlisle's neat script.

_Dear Edward~_

_What kind of a doctor would you be without the proper diagonistic tools? Here is an old stethoscope to wear around your neck, along with some tongue depressors to do with as you please (within reason, of course), a pen light, and a reflex hammer (try to be careful with this one, it will leave a mark) Sorry, no prescription pads!_

_Also, son, I know that you are old enough to know better and that you, above all the others, know to be responsible. But, I also know what it's like to be seventeen, like you are, and in love, like I know you are. Therefore, I would be remiss in my duties as a parent if I did not reiterate what I know you know all too well. Edward, sometimes our feelings are so strong that our emotions overtake us and drive us. Our hormones take over and neutralize our brain. By the time we come to our senses, it's too late. So, for your sake, and especially for your love, Bella's sake, please, be safe._

_I don't get to say it often, and I know sometimes you have trouble believing it, but I do love you. _

_Your 12am curfew is lifted for Friday night! Have fun at your party with the beautiful Miss Swan!_

_Love, _

_~ Dad_

Edward hugged the note to his chest as he struggled to hold it together. How could he have been so wrong about Carlisle? How had he missed who he really was? Had he been so angry that he'd just chosen to ignore the truth about his father? This was a loving, understanding, compassionate and, most importantly, a forgiving man. And Edward offered up a silent prayer of thanks that Carlisle Cullen was his father.

He stuck his hand in the bag and pulled out the props his father had provided. Stethoscope. Reflex hammer. A Ziplock bag that held a couple of dozen little wooden tongue depressors. And a box. He pulled the box out and looked at it, feeling his cheeks flush immediately.

Carlisle had bought him a box of condoms.

He noticed his hand shaking as he held the box, and tossed it onto the bed quickly. No, he wasn't ready for that step yet. He and Bella were still so new. Kissing her was still thrilling. The feel of her soft wet lips against his, tracing his jaw, trailing down his neck. It was all so exciting. And no matter what little Edward thought, big Edward wasn't ready to proceed to the next level. No, he wouldn't be needing Carlisle's thoughtful gift just yet. At least, tonight.

Edward yanked his boots and socks off and tugged his gray tshirt over his head. He wandered into his bathroom, turning on the water in his shower as he stripped his jeans and boxer briefs off his legs, tossing them into his hamper. He stepped into the shower and let the hot water cascade down his body, soothing and calming as it washed away another day at Forks High School.

Carlisle's note weighed heavily on his mind as he absently soaped up his body. Since he and Bella had randomly run into his parents at the diner the night of their first date, things had shifted dramatically between himself and Carlisle. He was communicating with his father more, even if only through text messages or short conversations in the garage. He even called his mother every day at lunch from Bella's truck, on Bella's cell phone, of course, just so he could tell her that he loved her. He didn't care if anyone thought he was a pussy for doing it. Bella, in fact, encouraged him, and that was all the approval he needed. And he felt closer to his parents. He knew that he had Bella Swan to thank for it

Bella.

He sighed at the thought of her. He thought of the costume she would be wearing tonight and shoved all other thoughts from his mind. He moved his right hand down to his soapy nether regions. Bella, the naughty nurse. He sighed again as he gripped himself firmly, feeling his heart beat rapidly. While he hadn't seen the costume yet, mental images of it had filled his mind and fueled his fantasies all week.

Today was no exception.

Bella in a tight, short nurse's uniform. With stilettos. Always with stilettos. Maybe with red stilettos. How he loved her in red. Could it get any better than Bella in a short, tight nurses uniform wearing red stilettos? Oh and white thigh high stockings. The kind with the lacy trim on top. Mmmm….that was it. No, it didn't get much better than Bella in a short, tight nurse's uniform, leaning forward and blowing him a kiss from plump red lips…unless it was Bella taking off that tight, short nurses uniform and wearing nothing but those damn red stilettos and thigh highs.

He groaned quietly as his release took him, bracing himself against the shower wall with his left hand as his knees weakened. It had become routine for him to 'relieve the pressure', as he referred to his masturbatory habits, before a date with Bella. He wanted to take things nice and slow with her, even if she had been hinting not so subtly about speeding things up.

It wasn't that he didn't want more with her. He did. He wanted to feel every inch of her, warming her with his hot hands, touching and feeling. To lick her soft, salty skin, tasting the spender that was Bella. To kiss the soft sensuousness that was her hot, fiery skin. To explore unknown territory and show her how much he loved her. He wanted to please her, to make her know the extent of his passion. He wanted as much of her as was humanly possible to take. He wanted to devour her. It was like her body, her soul, sang to him, begging him to take her and make her his own.

He wanted her.

But above all else, he wanted it to be right. She deserved that. He deserved that. They deserved that. What they had did not deserve a quick fuck in the back seat of the Volvo. It did not deserve a fast, sloppy after school screw in her bedroom with the specter of Charlie Swan, gun in hand, returning home from work unannounced. It deserved so much more than that. It deserved all the hearts and flowers in the world, as cliché as that sounded, even to Edward's jaded mind. And if getting it right with Bella meant waiting, then wait he would. He would wait however long it took, to make sure he didn't fuck up again.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

The Stanley house was jammed with Halloween revelers wearing a vast array of colorful and imaginative costumes.

Mike Newton yanked the mask off his face, stuffing it inside his jacket. He pulled a comb from his back pocket and slicked back his sweaty hair in place, sliding the greasy comb into the back pocket of his jeans when he finished. He tugged his red letterman jacket back down into place at his hips before heading off with a cocky gait to find Jessica, moving in time with the thrum thrum thrum of the loud music that filled the small house.

"Hey, Einstein, you seen Jessica?"

Erik Yorkie rolled his eyes as he flipped the wild white hair of his wig up from his face. "There are four harem girls here tonight. How am I supposed to know which one is Jessica?"

"She's not a harem girl, genius. She's Jasmine from Aladdin." Mike punched Erik in the shoulder

"Ooof! Oh, yeah, big difference. Just like Leah is a genie. Huge difference." He adjusted the wire rimmed glasses on his nose.

"Can you even see through those stupid things?" Mike shoved the glasses up on the bridge of Erik's nose.

"Hey! Don't break them! They're my granddads!" Erik slapped his hand away.

"Stupid fuckin' costume," Mike mumbled as he wound his way between the bodies squeezed into the small Stanley kitchen.

"What the fuck are you supposed to be?" someone snorted at him.

Mike looked up to see a giant, flaxen haired green pixie looming over him.

"Kind of big for that costume, aren't you, Lauren," he scoffed.

"I'd turn you into a dickless troll, but it looks like someone already beat me to it, Newton," she whacked him hard on the head with her fairy wand and turned around to walk away, slapping him in the face with one of her huge, glittery fairy wings as she did. Accidentally, of course. Maybe.

"Stupid fucking party," Mike shook his head.

"Avast! The rum might be gone, mate, but we have grog!"

"Jesus! Tyler, what the fuck?" Mike jumped back with a start as a hook offered him a bottle of beer. Of course, he didn't let the hook stop him from taking the bottle.

"What do you think? Pretty cool, huh?" Tyler smiled, quite proud of his costume.

"Did your mommy buy you that at the Disney store?" Mike snickered as he twisted the cap off the beer.

"Hey, at least I don't look like an extra from Grease."

"I'm Teen Wolf, you moron."

"Teen Wolf, huh?" Tyler eyed him. "Shouldn't you have, like, a werewolf mask on or something then?"

"It's in my jacket, ass. I couldn't see out of the damn thing and I was starting to sweat in it." He pulled his jacket open, showing Tyler the furry back of the full head rubber mask.

"You should have dressed as a pirate, mate," Tyler affected a drunken English accent. "No mask involved and you get to drink rum." He lifted his other arm to show Mike the dark bottle he held. "And the ladies love a pirate, mate," he winked.

"You have rum in there?" Mike looked at him disbelievingly.

"Indeed!" Tyler swayed for effect.

"I don't believe you." Mike folded his arms across his chest.

"Believe what you want, mate." Tyler lifted the bottle to his lips.

Mike snatched the bottle out of Tyler's hand, sniffing it. "Your father's going to have your fucking balls in a sling if he smells this on you. And if you call me 'mate' one more time, I'll yank them off you myself and shove them in your fucking bottle of rum ."

Tyler frowned.

"Yo ho, _mate_," Mike pushed past him, craning his neck. "Jess! Jess! Jesus…" and he was lost in the costumed crowd.

Nurse Bella sat on Dr. Cullen's lap, casually talking to Officer Angela Webber, who was handcuffed to Ben Cheney, her prisoner of love. The two couples were squeezed onto an already over crowded sofa in the Stanley den.

"I say genies."

"Belly dancers."

"Ben, what do you think they are?" Angela looked at her boyfriend who was slowly nursing a bottle of beer to its bottom.

"Sluts?"

Edward let out a long guffaw, leaning his forehead on Bella's shoulder as his body shook with laughter. "I think Ben's right," he snickered, looking at Bella.

"Edward!" Bella shrugged his chin off her. "I'm sitting here with my friggin' girls hanging out of my costume and you're calling chickies in similar outfits sluts?" She looked at him with a hurt expression on her face. "Is that what you think of me?"

"You're _girls_, as you call them so lovingly, are wearing a bra and covered by a shirt. Well, kinda. Their _bra_ is supposed to be their _costume_," he justified. "There's nothing covering it. And besides, they _are_ sluts, right Ben?"

"Right, Edward," Ben nodded in agreement, drinking down the last of his beer.

"And you two would know they're sluts because?" Bella looked at her boyfriend curiously. Although they never talked about it, she was pretty sure he wasn't a virgin, but it still bothered her that perhaps he'd dipped his wick in some familiar wax.

"Bathroom wall." Smiling Ben was a man of few words.

Angela slapped his shoulder with her slender hand. "Stop it. You two are so terrible when you're together."

"Like…teenage boys." Angela giggled, but Bella's head flew back as she laughed her deep, throaty laugh at her own joke.

"I want another beer," Ben shook his empty bottle. "Come on, Officer Angie. Don't cops get free drinks?" He smiled wickedly as he yanked her off the sofa by her handcuffed hand. "You guys want another?"

"Sure," Edward nodded, "Bella?"

"Nah, I'm good, thanks. Don't want to go home toasted. Don't think the Chief of Police would appreciate his underage daughter being returned home by her underage boyfriend in a state of total inebriation." She glanced over at Edward with a raised eyebrow. "Do you agree, honey?"

Edward's emerald eyes sparkled at her in the dim party light. She was beautiful. And she was his. "I do agree, darling. So, no thank you, Ben. I'm good."

"Suit yourselves," Ben wiggled his thick eyebrows as he led an exasperated Angela to the kitchen.

"Dude, he's got him some fierce eyebrows, doesn't he?" Bella watched the couple snake through the crowd on their way to the beer cooler.

Edward looked at her. "Like someone drew them on with a marker," he snorted.

"You know, I'm proud of you," Bella planted a quick kiss on the wild copper tressed head of her beloved.

"Why? Because my eyebrows aren't nearly as thick as Ben's?"

"No, because you said no to more beer."

"Bella, I'm not an alcoholic. I can say 'no', you know." His eyes rolled.

"I know, but, like, Ben should have said no too, but he didn't." She ran her finger along his strong jaw. "You're just more mature than the other boys are."

"Yeah, well, maybe I've…whatever." His voice trailed off and he looked down at his chest. He picked up the stethoscope that hung around his neck and began to trace it along the swells of the breasts that spilled out of the black and orange lace bra Bella was wearing. The bodice of the tight, white nurse's uniform she was wearing had wide lapels trimmed in red that were spread wide enough apart to offer quite a view of the ample cleavage created by the push up bra.

"When was the last time you had a complete physical, Nurse Bella?" His voice was low and sultry.

"Why, the last time you gave me one, about 15 minutes ago, Dr. Cullen," she giggled. It tickled when he ran the cold metal disc over her bosoms.

"You can never be too thorough, nurse," he planted soft butterfly kisses down her neck while his finger trailed lightly along the orange lace that was edging her bra, the tip of his finger gently grazing the soft, sensitive skin of her breast.

Her breath caught in her throat, and she realized that she wanted tonight to be the night. Desperately.

"Do you want to leave?" She sighed as she ran her fingers lightly along his strong, stubbly jaw. "I'm sure Charlie's asleep by now," she breathed into his ear, breasts heaving within the tight confines of the bra. Better to leave now, since his siblings hadn't shown up yet to spoil things. Plus, he seemed to really be in the mood, if the growing hardness she was feeling under his scrubs was any indication.

Edward looked at her, his emerald eyes dark under his heavy lids. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to say yes. Yes, Bella, I want to leave and make love to you. I want to show you how I feel about you.

Instead, he cleared his throat, leaning his head back on the sofa, trying to clear his mind.

"No, we shouldn't. Jess would be hurt if we left so early," he sighed, not sure if he should mentally kick himself or pat himself on the back.

Bella sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder, clearly disappointed. "Is there something that maybe we need to discuss, Edward?"

He felt her lips moving softly against his neck, and swallowed hard. "No. Should there be?" Of course there was. There was a six hundred pound gorilla right there in front of them, and it wasn't the idiot dancing around in the actual gorilla suit in the middle of the Stanley den.

Bella sighed and tightened her grip around Edward's neck. "No, I guess not," she tried not to sound as disappointed as she was feeling.

He held her closer, because, right now, that was all he could give her, all he was willing to give her. Giving her more would be expected, sure, but it would it be right? No, it wouldn't. At least, it wouldn't be until they discussed that six hundred pound gorilla. And he wasn't ready to discuss it. Not tonight, not now. Not yet. He was too selfish, too happy right now to discuss it and risk losing the first bit of happiness he'd had since moving to Forks.

Naturally the door chose that moment to fly open, catching everyone's attention.

Edward rolled his eyes.

Of course his siblings would opt to make a dramatic entrance.

They walked in silently, with serious expressions on their faces. Each face painted white, with blood red lips and eyes ringed in black. Hair moussed and gelled and sticking out in all directions. Four sleek, black capes flew out behind them as they walked into the crowded house.

The Cullen's had dressed as characters from the ever popular Teenage Vampire books.

"How original," Edward murmured as he leaned his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He wished he had a cigarette.

Bella joined the rest of the revelers in staring at the dark quartet as they silently made their way into the room, watching as Tyler and Mike closed ranks, carefully monitoring the path the unwelcome family was taking.

Tiny Alice led the way, wearing a short black skirt that was tattered at the hem with a red off the shoulder peasant style top. Jasper and Emmett were dressed identically, in jeans with crisp white shirts. Rosalie brought up the rear, wearing a skirt similar to the one Alice wore, though her top was a tight black halter. Bella couldn't help but notice how similar it was to the top she'd worn on her first date to Port Angeles with Edward.

Edward heard Bella gasp and looked up just in time to see Alice bounding toward them, black satin cape fluttering out behind her.

"Edward!" She jumped and landed flatly on his lap, a small "Ooof" escaping from his surprised mouth. Alice draped her arms around her brother's neck, planting a huge kiss on his cheek.

"H-Hi Alice," he stammered in surprise.

"Bella!" Alice threw her arms around Bella, hugging her tightly as Edward struggled for breath beneath the two girls.

"Hi Alice," Bella hugged Alice with one arm. "Nice to see you. Great costume."

"Oh, Club Volturi in Port Angeles is having a Teenage Vampire party tonight. You have to dress up as characters from the books to get in. Took a lot of convincing for Jazz to let me do his makeup," she giggled at the memory. She leaned back, taking in both Edward and Bella. "Oh my gosh! I love it! A doctor and a nurse!" She smiled knowingly at Edward, who nodded back in answer to her silent question. He knew Alice would never tell that Carlisle had given him the scrubs to wear.

"Alice, we're going to get drinks. Are you coming?" Rose was standing with her hands on her hips, far enough away that it shouldn't have been a problem, but Bella could still feel the hatred for Edward rolling off of her in waves. _What the hell had happened in this family to cause such hard feelings_, she wondered, noting how the sensual mood she and Edward had been in only moments ago was now seemingly lost forever.

"I'm fine, Rose," Alice called out to her, not moving from Edward's lap, not even as Jasper leveled a look at her.

"So, um, you guys have Mom's car, I take it?" Edward was clearly uncomfortable.

"What do you think," Alice snorted.

"That's about what I thought." Edward's tone was cautious and looked at Alice, who gave a look back, and again it was as if they were having a conversation without talking. Bella noted this down mentally and made note to mention it at a later date.

"Yeah, I really wish you two would come with us," she sighed.

"Our costumes are all wrong," Bella snorted.

"Oh, Bella, you look absolutely beautiful!" Alice gushed as she oogled Bella. Alice always seemed to gush around Bella. The tiny girl reached out and, before Bella realized what she was doing, gave Bella's boobs a quick squeeze. "And, they're _real_ too!"

Bella gasped. Say…what?! She could feel the color rise in her cheeks. Was little Alice Cullen a…a switch hitter? She would have to ask Edward about this too, and the sooner the better. Until then, all she could muster was a small "Umm…thanks?" in response to Alice.

"Oh Christ, Alice!" Edward rolled his eyes.

"What?" Alice looked at her brother innocently.

"You have to excuse my sister, Bella. But since she's so flat chested," he yelled _flat chested_ in Alice's face, "She's inappropriately obsessed with other women's breasts. More than I am, and you know how obsessed with your boobs I am," he sounded exasperated.

Bella thought for a moment that if her face hadn't been covered in white makeup, Alice would be blushing from embarrassment, but the whisp of a girl didn't seem a bit flustered.

"Edward, I appreciate things I don't possess. Big, beautiful natural breasts happen to be one of the things I admire and appreciate," she huffed. "There's nothing wrong with it."

"There is when the breasts you want to appreciate and admire, _with your hands_, belong to my girlfriend," he shook his head.

"Bella doesn't mind, right Bella?"

"Uh…sure." _Wow, she's even weirder than I thought. _ "Sure, I don't mind. Hell, they're out there, right? I'm showing them off to the world!" Bella laughed.

"Bullshit. Alice, don't touch Bella's boobs again unless you ask." He turned to Bella. "Seriously, she has issues with boundaries. Just smack her hand and yell 'NO' if she does it again. Or, better yet, roll up a newspaper and rap her across the nose a few times. That'll teach her." He smirked at his sister who stuck her small pink tongue out at him.

Edward shifted his weight beneath both girls. With one perched on each thigh, his lower body was quickly becoming numb. He said nothing, however, not wanting to displace Bella, and not wanting Alice to think he didn't want her around, regardless of how annoying she made herself.

"So are you guys having a good time?" Alice's voice sounded like high pitched bells ringing, Bella thought. There was something oddly adorable about the strange pixie like girl with boundary issues.

"Very good time," Edward nodded.

"Oh yeah. This is like," Bella waved her hand out at the mélange of costumes displayed around the room, "like, the best freak show ever! And, hell, it's not every day my girls get tweeked by my boyfriend's sister." Bella and Alice laughed together at this as Edward shook his head yet again.

"I swear I'm the only normal person here," he mused.

"I noticed the belly dancer thing is big this year," Alice whispered conspiratorially to Bella, adding a soft giggle at the end.

Bella slapped Edward's chest lightly. "See? I _told_ you they were belly dancers. But do you ever listen to me? Noooo. Your demented little man brain had to see them as genies."

"Hey, they could be any number of things," Edward defended himself. "And I do not have a demented little man brain."

"We all know where a man's brains are, Edward," Alice rolled her eyes at her brother.

"Oh thanks. My own sister is even against me," he laughed.

"Not just you, Edward," Alice inspected her short red fingernails. "Your brain is exactly where every man's brains are." She smirked at Bella.

"In their pants!" Bella threw her head back, letting go of her deep laugh again.

"Nice going, Alice. She's going to be laughing at that for the rest of the night now," he rolled his eyes.

Alice ignored him, reaching instead for Bella's hand "Oh my God! Where do you get these done?" She fingered Bella's long, beautiful nails, which were painted black, with orange tips and a spattering of silver glitter.

"Oh, I found a salon in Port Angeles. Pretty good, no?" She watched Alice finger each nail.

"Are these yours?" She seemed mesmerized by Bella's nails.

"Why don't you squeeze those too and see if they're real?" Edward laid his head back on the back of the sofa again as he made a low moaning noise.

"Don't be such a dick, Edward," Bella smacked his chest again. "Yeah, they're mine, but, well, enhanced a bit," Bella giggled. "They put some gel crap on them, you know, to keep them strong."

Edward zoned out during the beauty conversation, leaning his head back on the sofa and closing his eyes. He was happy that Bella and Alice were getting some girl bonding time and realized that his siblings would be too embarrassed to make a scene at this party, with most of the population of Forks High there to witness it. And while he could feel Jasper intensely staring, he knew Jasper would do little more tonight than stare. Out of all the other's he understood what Edward meant to Alice. He might go along with Rose and Emmett, but he never instigated anything. He sighed and felt himself drifting off.

"Isn't that right, Edward? Edward?"

A sharp elbow jabbed him in the rib.

"Ooof! What the hell?" He started awake.

"Edward, pay attention. I was just telling Bella here about how before you met her, you never came to parties or anything. Isn't that right?" Alice blinked her incredibly big eyes at him. Even with the white vampire makeup and dark rings around her eyes, she was adorable.

He smiled at her sweetly. "Yes, Alice. It's true." He looked at Bella, his voice soft. "Before I met you, I was a hermit. I lived in a damp, moss covered cave in the woods, rarely seen by mankind. You might know me by my other name, Sasquatch."

Bella's head flew back one more time as her husky laugh bellowed. Alice rolled her eyes and Edward chortled at his own joke.

"Very funny, stupid brother of mine. You know, if I didn't love you so much I would hurt you," she giggled, nudging his jaw with the top of her head.

"Ow! Jesus! What the fuck do you have in your hair to make it that hard?"

"Some sculpting gel. It hardens to keep your 'do in place."

"You better be careful you don't impale someone on your head and Bella's dad has to arrest you. I can assure you, we won't be bailing you out, Missy."

"What kind of charge would that be, I wonder?" Bella rubbed her chin, thinking.

"Assault with a deadly hair style," Edward rolled his eyes. "Oh, well, it looks like you are being beckoned to the bat mobile, sister."

All three of them looked up to see the remaining Cullen's assembling in the middle of the room. Rosalie, hands on her hips, stood between Jasper and Emmett. All three stared at Alice.

"Well," Alice sighed. "I guess that's my cue." She turned to Edward, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. He hummed softly and closed his eyes as she did. "You know," she whispered into his ear. "The only reason we even came here tonight was because I didn't shut up about wanting to hang out with you, even if they didn't care to."

"Did you really?" Edward leaned his forehead against hers. It was an oddly intimate gesture for a brother and sister, and while she felt compelled to look away from this private moment, Bella wondered yet again what the hell had gone down in Casa Cullen.

"Yeah. Jazz got so sick of me that he finally told the other two to just suck it up and give me an hour so I shut the hell up," her laugh was clear and clean, like the tinkling Bella remembered hearing from the huge Waterford crystal chandeliers at the Kennedy Center when her class had taken a trip to Washington, DC the year before.

Edward closed his eyes, still resting his forehead against Alice's. "I love you," he murmured to her.

"I love you too, Edward," her fingers gently ran the length of his jaw. "I'm so happy you found someone as wonderful as Bella to make you happy." She kissed his cheek again and was of his lap in a flash, and standing next to Rose, face serious, ready to make a grand exit with the others.

"Night, Alice," Bella waved and smiled. "Have fun at the club."

Alice nodded before turning on her heel with the rest of the Teenage Vampire clan, and striding purposely out the Stanley door.

"Well, that wasn't too uncomfortable." Bella shifted on Edward's lap, no longer having to share it with the smaller Alice. "Alice is pretty cool when you get to talking to her. But the rest of them seemed a little out of place here to me."

"Yeah. I told you Alice was awesome. But, you are right. The others were out of place. And, truthfully, it was kind of…weird for me." He shook his head. "I'm so used to having my guard up around them all the time."

"Even at home?"

"Especially at home."

"That has to make your home life stressful." She twisted her fingers around his wayward strands of copper hair as he inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.

"You have no idea," he sighed.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No. Not…not tonight." And he closed the subject, nuzzling her neck softly.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Edward stalked silently toward the bed, aware of the cool night air blowing in from the open windows on his naked body as a soft shiver ran down his spine. He wondered if she felt the same.

Gently, he sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at her lovingly. The covers were pulled up to her chin, and she tossed back the corner where he sat.

"It's chilly in here. You should cover up before you catch your death of cold." Her voice was low and husky.

He slid between the covers and into her waiting arms. He felt her hot, blazing skin against his cool body as her arms enveloped him.

Finding her full, soft lips, he gently took her lower lip in between his, teasing her lip ring with his tongue before plunging it into her mouth, in search of her tongue.

"Edward," she moaned softly into his mouth as he kissed her with more urgency. He had waited so long to make her his own, and now he was going to get the opportunity. The house was empty, dark and quiet, the only sound their heavy breathing and soft moaning in his bedroom.

This is what she deserved.

This was the way it was supposed to be.

His hands wandered over her naked body, feeling breasts and hips and thighs. Her fingers caressed the muscles and lines of his shoulders and back, finding the swell of his buttocks as they moved down. They moaned softly into each other's mouths, the sensation sending a frenzy of shivers down their bodies, every nerve ending alive.

Slowly, sensuously, he moved his mouth down her body, eager to taste her, all of her. Breasts, belly, thighs and everything in between. With each new caress, each new flick of the tongue, her body reacted, eager for more.

Edward rested on his elbows, hovering over her.

"Are you sure," he whispered, nuzzling his nose against hers.

"I have never been more certain of anything else in my life," she sighed, twisting her fingers into his hair, tugging lightly. The sensation made him close his eyes and groan.

With lust filled eyes barely open, they gazed at one another.

"I love you," Edward whispered against her lips.

"I love you too." She tightened her fingers in his hair as he moved his hips against hers and with a slow, intense move, was completely inside her, never breaking eye contact.

She gasped, wrapping her legs around his hips, binding him to her as they began to move together slowly, moaning softly against one another.

"Edward," she sighed, closing her eyes as his wet lips found her throat. "Oh, Edward!" Her hands slid down from his hair and her arms wrapped around his back, beautifully manicured nails scratching against his soft, pale skin, digging in, giving him chills that he knew were not from the frigid night air.

They moved together slowly, neither wanting the splendid moment to end. Breathing hard and ragged as low moans escaped their lips.

Before he knew what was happening, everything shifted. Gone were the soft, gentle movements of two bodies becoming one. Gone the soft sounds of perfect love. Suddenly, her legs were draped over his shoulders as he thrust into her wildly, with so much force, that the headboard began to slam against the wall.

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

The huge, carved gothic headboard towered over the bed, exclaiming its excitement with every thrust.

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

He couldn't control himself. He pounded into her harder and harder, faster and faster, not knowing where he got the energy to keep up such an intense rhythm.

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

His breathing became more ragged and uneven. He was acutely aware that sweat was pouring down his face, tasting the salty brine on his lips, as it rolled down to his chin, dropping onto her soft, translucent skin.

"Edward! Edward!" She called his name out again and again as he moved more frantically, desperately trying to reach his climax with her.

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

Edward looked up at the giant headboard, towering so high over them that it dwarfed them, moving higher and higher against the wall as it slammed against it in time with each of his movements.

How was he moving this insanely large piece of furniture?

He looked up again, and it seemed to loom even higher over them. He became aware of shadows playing against the wall from the candles, shadows that reached higher and higher up toward an impossibly high ceiling.

Candles? Where the hell did the candles come from? He couldn't remember lighting any.

Although he was amazingly distracted by the headboard, he did not slow his rhythm. He continued, fast and furious as she screamed his name over and over.

When did he get this headboard? He couldn't remember ever seeing it before. How could he forget something as huge as this wall sized headboard?

The sweat rolled down his chest now, plastering the hair there to his skin, as he grabbed hold of her legs tighter, desperate to hang on to her.

**BANG!**

_Where did the candles come from?_

**_EDWARD!_**

**BANG!**

_Where did the headboard come from?_

**_EDWARD!_**

**BANG!**

**_EDWARD!_**

He looked down at her, his vision blurring from the sweat dripping down from his forehead and into his eyes. He wanted to wipe his brow with his arm, but didn't want to release his grip on her. Faster and faster he plunged into her as she screamed his name over and over.

**BANG!**

**_EDWARD!_**

**BANG!**

**_EDWARD!_**

He began to lose focus and her face started to blur. She seemed to be slipping away from him.

No!

**_EDWARD! EDWARD! EDWARD!_**

He was losing her and in her place he was hearing Carlisle's voice yelling over the pounding of the headboard against the wall.

"EDWARD! EDWARD!! WAKE UP! UNLOCK THIS DOOR!"

He sat up with a start, alone in his bed, sweat soaked sheets twisted around his naked torso. He ran his hands through his damp hair, looking around the dark room and feeling disoriented. The red numbers on his alarm clock flashed 3:47 am. He quickly looked behind him. The monstrous headboard was not there.

It had been nothing but a dream. An incredibly intense dream, but a dream, none the less.

"EDWARD! EDWARD! WAKE UP!"

"Dad?" Edward heard the urgency in Carlisle's voice. Had he been crying out in his sleep so loudly that he woke his parents and frightened them?

"EDWARD!!" Carlisle pounded on the door.

"I'm coming, Dad!" He scrambled out of the bed and fell flat on his face, the damp sheets twisted and stuck around his legs. He crawled desperately to the door several paces before finally finding his legs beneath him and righting himself, shaking hands fiddling in the darkness with the lock on the door before flinging it open.

"Dad? What is it? What's the matter?" He was still breathing heavily from his dream, and the pained look on his father's pale face did nothing to help calm him. "Dad! What is it?"

"Edward," Carlisle's voice was shaky as he breathed heavily. "Son, there's been an accident."

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**A/N:**

**Ooo...a cliff hanger! I hope you all hang on for the next installment! **

**I swear, I spent way too much time in the Hot Topic this Christmas season! Not for myself, mind you, but for gifts. It got so that the kids in there knew me! Totes embarrassing, but, inspiring for Bella, ya know?**

**Anyone ever notice that, in most fan fic, Mike Newton is a tool? Wonder why that is :D**

**Any whoo, if you like what you read, please, let me know! And thanks again for sticking it out with me.**

**Oh, and I'm listening to Sam Bradley's Sea Blue...*sigh*...this may have to become Edward & Bella's song :D**


	10. Chapter 10: I Wanna Live

**Thank you to everyone who's sticking with me. I hope you are enjoying the story. **

**Sorry this update's so late. Life sometimes interferes with art (if I may be so bold as to call this 'art' ;D )**

**I have to ask again...anyone 'get' what the chapter titles are?? C'mon...I know someone has to have realized it by now :D**

**Little bit of business, then on to the chapter...I don't own Twilight, or it's characters and situations. The goddess, Stephenie Meyer holds that distinction.**

**We're in double~digits now....chapter 10!**

**~*~*~*~*~***

**Chapter 10: I Wanna Live**

Edward stared groggily at his father, blinking, not fully comprehending the meaning of his words.

"Where?" He rubbed his sleepy eyes with the back of his hand.

"On the 101 on their way back from Port Angeles," Carlisle's spoke in a soft, quick tone. "Hurry and put on some clothes. We need to get to the hospital." He started to move down the hallway back to his bedroom.

"Wait…Dad…what?"

"Edward, your brothers and sisters have been in a serious car accident. Hurry and dress!" There was a new urgency in his voice. The doctor had over ridden the father. Edward suddenly grasped the situation and flipped on his bedroom light, grabbing the first thing he found to put on~the scrubs he'd worn to Jessica's party.

He ran into the hallway, throwing his arms into his leather biker jacket just as Esme was rushing out of her bedroom.

"Oh, Edward," she reached up and touched his face lightly, looking into his eyes. "Your father is bringing the car around." Her long hair was fastened into a disheveled pony tail and she was wearing a pair of jeans under her long raincoat with little black flats on her feet. He could see that she'd been crying. He pulled her to himself, gently wrapping his arms around her, feeling her trembling.

"It'll be all right, Mom. I'm sure it will be."

Unable to speak, Esme pulled away from him, nodding as she pulled the belt on her raincoat tight around her slim waist. "Your father's waiting."

Edward took his mother's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as they hurried down the steps and out into the wet, cold night.

_Please, God, don't let anything have happened to Alice._ Edward repeated this mantra in his head the entire way to the hospital. They rode in silence, each Cullen lost in their own thoughts. Sitting in the back seat of Carlisle's sleek Mercedes, Edward could see his father gently holding his mother's hand on the console between the front seats. His thumb traced slow, soothing circles on the back of her hand as he tried to hold her together, and, perhaps hold himself together in the process. Carlisle drove in a fast but controlled manner, as if concentrating on the road would make everything be all right.

It felt like forever before they finally reached the emergency entrance to Forks General, but Edward knew his father had made it there in half the time it normally took.

Carlisle navigated the car into a reserved parking space and slammed it into park, seemingly out of the car before he killed the engine. He ran around to the passenger's side, and wrapped his arm around Esme's waist as she got out, holding her hand in his as he led her quickly into the emergency room. Edward was right on their heels, hands running nervously through his bronze hair.

"Dr. Cullen," a sullen, portly woman dressed in white was waiting for them at the door.

"Nurse Cope, where are my children?" His voice cracked. For a moment, Edward thought his father was going to cry, but he realized that Carlisle would never do that. Not in the hospital. Perhaps, in the privacy of his home, in the comfort of their bedroom, in the presence of his wife, he would show his human side. But here, tonight, he needed to be in doctor mode, in control, even if only to keep himself together in the hopes of keeping his wife together.

"Trauma 1 and Trauma 2. Here are the EMT reports." She handed a clip board to Carlisle, who took it with a thankful nod.

"Edward, take your mother over there and have a seat. I'll be back shortly."

"No! I want to see my children," Esme protested, voice frantic.

"Darling," he put his hands on her shoulders. "I will only be a moment. I promise I will be right out. I just want to check on the situation first."

"You don't want me to see them, do you? Oh my God, Carlisle, is someone dead? It's Alice, isn't it? I've lost Alice, haven't I!" A sob escaped her and Edward came up behind her, hugging her to himself and putting his chin on her shoulder, resting his cheek against her neck. He felt a tear quietly slip down his cheek, not sure he could manage through life without Alice.

"Darling," Carlisle looked at his wife, his compassionate blue eyes troubled. He stared into her eyes intensely, as if trying to speak to her. Edward felt her tense body relax as she slumped against him, resigned.

"Take your mother to sit down, Edward," Carlisle's voice was soft. "I will be back in a minute." He raced through a door clearly marked "No Admittance", scanning the pages attached to the clip board as he did.

Edward pulled his mother over to an empty row of attached seats that looked stiff, with small, lightly stuffed cushions fastened to the seats and backs. Esme moved at his insistence, still staring after her husband.

She sat down, numb, and Edward wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her to him gently. He patted her hair softly, resting her cheek against his.

"It's ok, Mom. It's going to be ok. You'll see." It was amazing to him how, after all that they had put her through, she was still terrified of losing any of them, still horrified at the idea of losing one of her children, so great was his mother's capacity to love. He rocked her gently, like she'd done to him so many times growing up, soothing her like she'd soothed him. Of course, loosing a Little League game or falling off a swing was nothing compared with the specter of losing a child. He knew that, but didn't know any other way of comforting her.

Her slender hand came up, cupping his stubbly cheek. She pulled her face away from him and turned to look at him. She stared into his dark emerald eyes. "I'm a horrible person," she sniffed, tears running down her cheeks.

"Mom, why would you say such a thing? You are the most beautiful and loving person I will ever know," he whispered.

"I'm horrible, Edward. When that phone rang, and your father answered it," she shook her head, exhaling a shaky breath. "When he said they'd been in an accident, all I could do was thank God that you were home and not with them. What would I do if anything ever happened to my dear, sweet Edward?" She looked at him through tear filled eyes.

He looked at her in disbelief. He had always known that he was her favorite, even though she would never say anything to confirm it, not to him or to anyone. Of course, they all suspected it, maybe even knew it, but she had never admitted it. At least not until now.

"Mom, you were scared. Panicking. It's hard to think coherently when that happens."

"It's not the first time I've thought it, Edward." She looked at him through her tears.

He sighed, and pulled her cheek against his once more. "What would you think of me if I told you the only one I thought about was Alice?"

"I'd think I understood why she's the only one you'd care about, darling. But, I'm their mother. It's not right for me to think that way." She sighed, shaking her head again. "Rosalie's been right about me this whole time. I'm a sham."

"Rosalie's not right about you. You are not a sham. You are our mother." He swallowed down the lump building up in his throat. "Besides, when has Rosalie ever been right about anything?" He let out a small chuckle, trying to relax his mother.

The door swung open and Carlisle moved toward them briskly. Edward felt a wave of relief wash over him when he saw that Carlisle's face was less tense than it had been. Esme looked up at him, face expectant.

"Suffice it to say, they are all very lucky. Much luckier than the BMW. Especially Rose." He took Esme's hand, pulling her up. "Come, darling. They need their mother." He nodded at Edward before turning and disappearing through the No Admittance door with his wife.

**~*~*~*~*~***

"Bells. Bells. Wake up."

She felt someone shaking her shoulder, but smacked the hand away.

"Bella, come on, you have to wake up, sweetie." Charlie shook her harder, voice soft.

"I don wanna gota schooo," she mumbled, throwing her arm over her eyes to block out the light that Charlie had turned on when he walked into her room.

"Bella, we have to go to the hospital."

"Wha…why?" She was suddenly wide awake. "What time is it?"

"It's almost 4:00am. There's been an accident, Bells."

She sat up immediately. "Jacob! What the hell did he do this time, Charlie?" She was out of the bed and running around her bedroom, looking for something to throw on.

"Not Jacob. It was the Cullen kids. Coming home from Port Angeles."

"Edward's brothers and sisters?" She stood motionless, staring at her father.

"Yep, that's why I woke you. It was a pretty serious accident and I thought that Edward might need you tonight, sweetie."

"Be downstairs in five, Charlie."

"Make it two, kiddo." He closed the door as he left her bedroom.

She grabbed the first thing she found sitting atop the pile of fresh folded laundry she had left sitting on top of her dresser earlier in the day, and threw it on, not caring about the holes in the knees of the faded black sweat pants or how huge Charlie's old Forks Police Department sweatshirt looked on her. She shoved her feet into her gym sneakers, not bothering to put on socks first, and grabbed her cell phone before running down the stairs as fast as she could to where Charlie was waiting, already in his police uniform.

She pressed Edward's number and listened as it went directly to his voice mail. She flipped her phone shut.

"Damn it! His phone's off!"

"Calm down, we'll be there in a few minutes, Bells." The lights on the cruiser flashed, casting an eerie red and blue glow as Charlie sped through the empty streets of what passed for downtown Forks.

She ran her hand over her face, knowing that her dark eye makeup was smudged around her eyes, but not caring. She knew that if anything happened to Alice, Edward would be completely devastated and there would be very little she could do to offer him any sort of solace.

"Any details?"

"Apparently they were flying down the 101 pretty fast when they hit a patch of black ice and skidded off the road. The car wrapped around a tree." It had been raining most of the night, and by the time Bella and Edward had left Jessica's party hours earlier, the temperature had dropped considerably. So much so that Edward had turned the heat up all the way in the Volvo. He had driven slowly, afraid that the streets would become icy. Apparently his siblings didn't think the same way he did.

"Jesus, Charlie," she breathed, saying a silent prayer of thanks that Edward wasn't with them.

"All four were brought to the hospital, but apparently only one of them is in really bad shape."

She felt her stomach flip and clenched her hands into fists, afraid to ask. "Which one is that?"

"One of the girls, I think."

She closed her eyes. "Dear God, please make it not be Alice," she prayed quickly.

"Alice?"

"She's the closest to Edward. He won't be able to handle it if anything happens to her." She shook her head and took a deep breath in an attempt at calming her nerves.

Charlie reached across the front seat and grabbed her small fist, squeezing it gently. "It'll be ok, Bells. You'll see."

Bella was out of the car before Charlie even stopped, running into the emergency room entrance as fast as she could.

He looked up when the doors slid open, and a sense of relief fell over him. Everything would be ok now, now that she was here.

She met his eyes, and sucked in a breath. "Edward," she breathed as she moved slowly to where he sat slumped in the small attached seat. He looked so helpless sitting there all by himself. He stood up as she approached, and wrapped his arms around her, holding on to her tightly.

"Bella, you came," he sighed, burying his face in her hair.

"Thank Charlie. He woke me up because he wanted me to be here for you," she smiled into his chest.

"I'll have to remember to do that," he sighed and moved over to the seats with her, pulling her down next to him.

"How are they?"

"I don't know much. Dad's in there with Mom now. He said it wasn't as bad as they had feared, that they're lucky. So, that has to be good, right?"

The automatic doors swung open and Charlie sauntered in. He looked over to where Edward and Bella sat, nodding. Edward nodded back before Charlie pulled open the No Admittance door and slipped behind it.

Edward put his arm around Bella, drawing her against him. "Thanks for being here, Bella," he sighed against her hair, kissing the top of her head gently.

"You know I would have killed Charlie if he came down here without me," she smiled, taking his free hand and twining their fingers together. "I'm here for you. Isn't that what we're supposed to do for each other?"

"I think it is," he sighed, resting his cheek against the top of her head.

They sat in silence for a while, until Bella spoke. "You know, she's going to be ok, don't you?"

"Hmm?" He lifted his head up, startled out of his thoughts and turned to meet her gaze.

"Alice. She's going to be fine. I just have a feeling."

"You…have a feeling?" He chuckled softly. "Now you sound just like Alice. Maybe a little bit of her rubbed off with the boob tweek tonight?"

"Oh God, I'd forgotten about that," she snickered, feeling the color rise in her cheeks. "Damn, but I think I love that little pixie." They laughed lightly at Alice's uncensored actions.

"You look different," Edward smiled.

"I know. It's my makeup. It's smeared all over my face," she laughed.

"Well, there's that, but, well, I don't think I've ever seen this outfit on you." Her head snapped around and she looked at him, his green eyes sad, but the crooked smile that she loved so much was threatening his lips.

"Oh, God I forgot what the hell I had on," she laughed. "I grabbed the first thing on my dresser. I usually wear this when I fart around the house."

"Well, I've been there farting around the house with you, and I've never seen this on you."

"When you're there, I don't consider it farting around," she smiled, leaning her forehead against his cheek.

"When all of this is over, remind me to tease your dad about you being Cinderella," he smirked, fingering the holes in the knees of her sweat pants.

"Then that would make you my Prince Charming," she sighed. "Where the hell did you put my glass slipper?" They giggled, relaxing slightly for the first time since either of them had entered the emergency room.

The No Admittance door opened yet again, and Carlisle led Esme out of the trauma area. Both of their faces reflected the relief they felt. Edward felt his body relax slightly at the sight of his parents.

"Well?" He looked up at his father expectantly as Carlisle sat Esme down next to Edward.

"Well, it could have been a lot worse. They were all very lucky," Carlisle sighed, running a hand through his blonde hair and over his weary face. He looked up. "Bella, I'm sorry. I just realized you were there. Thank you for coming and being here for Edward." He smiled a weary smile at her. "From what I've been told, they hit a patch of black ice on the 101. Emmett was driving, so you know what that means," Carlisle looked at Edward.

"Speeding," Edward sighed, shaking his head. "Speeding after drinking."

"This is exactly why I always tell all of you not to drink and drive, Edward. Now do you see that I'm not just being a buzz kill?"

"Yes, sir," Edward's green eyes looked down at his and Bella's entwined hands. He wouldn't be drinking and driving anymore. Not when he had such precious cargo in his Volvo as Bella Swan.

"Anyway, they hit the ice, skidding along the highway and then just slid off the road, hitting a huge tree broadside on the passengers side." Carlisles hand found it's way into his hair again, running through it nervously. "Emmett was the luckiest," he continued. "He has some facial lacerations, a concussion from his head hitting the steering wheel and some whiplash."

"Not wearing his seat belt either?" Edward watched his father intently.

"Now do you see why I'm always telling you to make sure you wear your seat belt?"

"Yes, sir," his eyes cast downward.

"Jasper was sitting behind Emmett. He's got some lacerations from where his head hit the window and shattered it. Whiplash, and a separated shoulder. Alice was on the side that took the impact. But apparently she was sitting closer to Jasper on the driver's side. I guess she was close enough that he basically absorbed her when she flew across the seat after the impact, which is probably why he hit so hard in the first place," Carlisle paused, shaking his head. Taking a deep breath, he continued. "Unfortunately for Alice, her leg got caught when the side of the car crushed in. Perhaps it was the way she was tossed by the impact. Her ankle is broken in three places. They will be bringing her up to surgery in a bit."

Bella and Edward gasped. "Can we see her before they bring her up?" Bella spoke for both of them.

"I don't see why not. She's sedated, but you know Alice," he smiled at the thought of his youngest daughter, but noticed Edward running his hand through his hair nervously. "She's ok, son. She's going to make a full recovery." Carlisle leaned down, putting his hand on Edward's shoulder.

Too stunned to speak, Edward just nodded as Bella squeezed his hand.

"And that, well, that brings us to Rose." He inhaled sharply, looking at the expectant faces of Edward and Bella. "I'll say this much. She's an extremely lucky girl."

"Is she going to be ok?" Bella could feel how tense Edward was. She understood that things were apparently far from perfect in the Cullen family, but she also knew that Edward would never wish his sister harm.

"I expect she will make a full recovery, Bella. I also expect that recovery to take a very long time." His demeanor suddenly changed from concerned yet relieved parent to that of a doctor. Perhaps it was the only way he could deal with Rosalie's injuries, Bella mused.

"What…how bad is she?" Edward finally spoke.

"She was in the line of the direct impact. Essentially, the front passengers side door is what hit the tree directly. So, the door was crushed. They had to use the Jaws of Life to get her out."

Bella gasped and brought her hand to her mouth. She knew from listening to Charlie talk that it was always a pretty bad crash when they had to use the Jaws of Life.

"She's got a broken nose, broken jaw, broken collarbone," he paused, taking a deep breath before continuing laundry list of Rosalie's injuries. "Shattered elbow, several cracked ribs. Thankfully none punctured her lungs. They are bringing her up for an MRI now, to determine if there are any serious internal injuries, which is why we are out here waiting right now. She's probably going need several surgeries on the elbow and collarbone alone, and not all of them minor." He moved and sat down next to Esme, taking her hand in his. "It's going to be a long road to recovery for Rosalie."

Edward and Bella sat in stunned silence. Rosalie took the brunt of the impact. Bella shook her head. Despite her seemingly bitter demeanor, Rosalie was probably the most beautiful girl in Forks High. She said a silent prayer for Rosalie's nose as they all sat silently, absorbing all of the information that Carlisle had just delivered.

After a while, Carlisle took a deep breath. "Come on, let's go see Alice before they wheel her up, shall we?" He was back to being a parent again.

Bella and Edward got up from their seats and quietly, almost robotically, followed Carlisle, seemingly still dazed by what he'd just told them. Esme came up behind them, putting her hand on Edward's shoulder. He turned, looking at her. "It's going to be ok, Mom."

Esme nodded at her son, a sad smile on her face.

Carlisle opened the No Admittance door and stepped aside, allowing the trio following him to enter first. He led them into a large room, with curtained cubicles on either side of them. They walked past several closed curtains, to where Alice lay on a small gurney. Even though the gurney itself was small, Alice looked even tinier than usual on it, if that was at all possible. The white vampire makeup was still on her face, although it was streaked off in spots while the black that had encircled her eyes was smeared all around her eyes and down her cheeks, more than likely from crying.

"EDWARD!" her lyrical voice sang when Carlisle pulled the curtain wall of her cubicle back. She held her arms open. "C'mere an gimme a huuug!"

"Is she drunk?" Bella whispered to Carlisle.

"Nah, she's just sedated," he chuckled softly.

Edward managed a small smile as he walked over to the gurney, leaning down and taking his tiny sister into his arms gently. She wrapped her slender arms around his shoulders tightly.

"Edward! I love youuuuu!"

"I love you too, Alice. Don't ever scare me like this again," he whispered, realizing that tears of relief were running down his cheeks.

"Guess what," she was shouting, as a result of the drugs they'd given her.

"What, Alice?" Her grip on him was firm.

"I'm going to have a boot!"

"A…what?"

"A boot! It's big and it's black and I can kick your ass with it!" She let go of Edward and slid back onto the gurney, smiling with self satisfaction. "Is that Bella?" Alice glanced around Edward. "Bella! Where are your boobs?"

Esme and Carlisle shot curious looks at Bella, who felt her face flame red with embarrassment as Edward brought his hand up to his face, pinching his nose between his fingers as he shook his head from side to side.

"My…boobs." She glanced nervously between Carlisle and Esme. "Uh…well, they're right here, Alice," she pointed to the front of her baggy sweatshirt. "But, shhh…they're in bed, asleep. See? They are in their pajamas."

"Aww, your boobs are sleepy! Night Night, boobs!" Her head lolled from side to side as a wide grin sat on her lips. "Dad, can I get boobs too? I want boobs just like Bella's."

"We'll talk about it in the morning, Alice," he tried to conceal his smile, but it was no use once he heard Esme chuckling softly.

"Excuse me, Dr. Cullen, but we're ready to bring Alice up for surgery." An orderly appeared in scrubs.

"Thank you, Paul." Dr. Cullen was once again the medical professional. Everyone stepped aside as Paul wheeled Alice's gurney from the cubicle.

"Mrs. Cullen and I will accompany her up to the OR with you, Paul."

"No problem, Dr. Cullen."

"Bye everyone! See you in the morning," Alice sang as she was wheeled past her family. Carlisle and Esme began following. "Wait!" Paul stopped pushing the gurney. "Mom…can you hold my hand? Please?" Her wide eyes implored Esme, who was at her side in a flash, gripping onto her tiny hand tightly.

"Good luck, Alice." Bella raised her hand in a little wave, Edward silently doing the same, as Paul started pushing the gurney again. "Even doped up with a broken ankle she's exuberant, isn't she?"

"I don't think an elephant tranquilizer could take her down," Edward smiled at his sister's spirit.

"Edward?" A soft voice came from behind the curtain next to Alice.

"Jasper?" Edward pulled the curtain back slightly, peering in.

"Hey. Can you open that up a little? It's kind of close and lonely in here." Edward pulled the curtain back, and stood there, looking at Jasper.

"Hey. How you feeling?" Bella could see from Edward's tense stance that he was uncomfortable talking to Jasper. She moved next to him, sliding her hand around his waist for support. Bella herself had only heard this Cullen utter a handful of words, making his voice sound foreign and new. Of course, the slight slurring from the painkillers didn't help.

"I feel like shit." Jasper's head was bandaged and he wore a neck brace. His left arm was being held out at a peculiar angle by a square block attached to a sling and resting under his arm.

"Well, if it's any consolation, you look like shit too, if you don't mind my saying," Edward smiled, shaking his head.

"I'd laugh, but it would hurt too much," Jasper smiled, feeling no pain. "Hey, is Alice gonna be ok?"

"Yeah, Dad says she'll be fine. Says she has you to thank for it too. She hit you instead of the side of the car." Edward nodded.

"Good. I'd rather I got hurt worse than her. I love that little shit, ya know."

Bella turned her face, hiding her snicker behind Edward's back. Jasper on drugs was almost as much fun as Alice on drugs.

"I know you do, Jazz," Edward smiled, wishing to himself that it could be this easy every day, even without the drugs.

"Hey, you haven't called me Jazz since before we moved to Forks, Eddie." Much like Alice, Jasper wore a huge grin on his face. His white makeup had been mostly wiped off when they were cleaning his lacerations and stitching him up where necessary, but the black around his eyes was still there, smeared down his cheeks, making him look like a sad clown.

"And you haven't called me Eddie in about as much time, Jazz," Edward laughed.

"Yeah, well, issues, man. Big issues. Big issue named Rose, right Eddie?"

"Right, bro."

"Hey, Eddie? You seen my cape, man? I had a big ass black cape when I left tonight. Alice is gonna kick my ass if I lost that fucker!"

"We'll look for your cape, Jazz. Don't worry about it," Edward tried to sound reassuring.

"Hey! Is that your girl, Eddie? Ibasella? Ibsalella? Inselala…what the fuck is her name, Eddie?" The drugs seemed to be kicking into high gear on Jasper.

"Isabella," Edward's eyes danced as he tried not to laugh out loud.

"That's what I said, Ibasella. She's real pretty, Eddie. I always knew you could get a real pretty girl if you just tried." He smiled a loopy smile at Edward. "Hey there, Ibasella. I'm Jazz-per." He spit his name out as if it were two words. "I'd shake your hand, but I can't really move."

"Hi Jasper. It's nice to meet you. You can call me Bella," she smiled, waving her fingers at him gently. "And it's ok. We can shake hands when you're feeling better."

"Thanks, Ibasella. I will call you Bella, Ibasella. You seem really cool. Hey, Eddie?"

"Yeah, Jazz?"

"Eddie, am I tied to this fucking bed? I feel like I'm tied to this fucking bed."

"No, Jazz, you're not tied to the bed."

"You sure? I sure do feel tied to this fucking bed."

"I'm sure, Jazz."

"Ok then," Jasper yawned loudly, closing his eyes. "Hey, Eddie? I think I'm gonna go to sleep now. Nice to meet you, Ibasella. Thanks for coming to visit me."

"Nice to meet you too, Jasper. Night."

"Night, Ibasella. Night, Eddie," he closed his eyes.

"Night Jazz," Edward sighed, closing the curtain around the snoozing Jasper. "Come on," he took Bella's hand and led her back out into the waiting room, where Chief Swan was sitting.

"Finish your work?" Bella sat down next to Charlie.

"Yep. I'll file the report in the morning down at headquarters. There's really nothing more I can do here tonight." He looked up at Edward, standing in front of him. "Hey, Edward, I'm really sorry for what happened," he sighed. "And I'm really glad they're all going to be ok."

"Thanks, Chief Swan. I'm happy about that too."

"You know how lucky they all are?"

"Oh, I know they are lucky," Edward sat down on the other side of Charlie, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes.

"I don't think you do. Twenty feet further down the 101 and that car would have careened off the road and down the embankment, with no trees to stop it."

"Holy Shit! Are you kidding?" Bella exploded as she looked at her father.

"Nope, not kidding and shhh. Keep it down, Bells."

Bella felt the color rise in her cheeks. "Sorry, Charlie."

"So, I think you both should say a little prayer of thanks tonight." Charlie got up. "I'm going to head home. Bells, you coming? Edward, I can drop you off at home if you want to leave."

"I'm going to stay, Chief Swan. I want to be here when Alice gets out of surgery, but thanks for the offer."

"I'm going to stay with Edward, Charlie."

"You should go home, Bella. No doubt we're probably going to be here all night." Edward rubbed his eyes.

"Then I'll stay here all night, Edward. I'm not leaving you alone." She looked at Edward.

Charlie rolled his eyes. "So, I'm not driving either of you home?"

"No, sir." Edward reached across Charlie's now empty chair and took Bella's hand.

"Ok, then." He sat back down between Edward and Bella again, making them break their hand hold. "I was going to tell you to call when you had any word on Alice and Rosalie, Edward, but since you both want to stay, I guess I'll stay here with you as well." He looked at Edward. "That is, if you don't mind, Edward?"

"No, sir. Not at all, Chief Swan."

"Good," he put his left arm around Bella's shoulder and drew her closer to him. She curled into his side, sighing.

"Thanks for waking me up and bringing me here, Charlie."

"You're welcome, Bells." He smiled down at her, feeling a little embarrassed yet proud at the same time, then turned and looked at Edward. "If I ever find out you drove drunk with my daughter in the car," he pointed a finger menacingly at Edward, "the law will be the least of your worries, Edward. Understand?"

Edward swallowed hard. "Believe me, I would never, ever take a risk like that with something so precious in the car with me, Chief Swan," Edward's voice was barely a whisper.

"Good. I'm glad we're on the same page, son." Charlie nodded. He stretched his right arm around Edward's shoulder and pulled him close. Edward hesitated, but finally closed his eyes as his head wearily tilted down and laid on Charlie's broad shoulder. Charlie rubbed Edward's shoulder soothingly. "Its all going to be ok, son. You'll see. Try to get a little sleep. I'll wake you up if anyone comes out with news."

**~*~*~*~*~***

"Edward, baby? Edward?" Esme's gentle hand caressed his stubbly cheek as she whispered his name. "Edward, wake up, angel."

He stirred, opening his eyes slowly and blinking at the intense bright light that filled the room. It was morning and the rare Forks sun was streaming into the empty waiting room. He moved slowly, sitting up, not wanting to disturb Chief Swan or Bella, who were both sleeping soundly next to him.

"Mom? Is everything ok?" He asked in a hushed tone as he stretched his neck, feeling an ache in it from the position he had fallen asleep in, with his head on Charlie's shoulder.

"As ok as it can be, sweetie." She sat down next to him, putting her arm around him and pulling him to her. He rested his head on her shoulder, feeling like a lost child. Instinctively, he reached for his mother's hand.

"Is Alice ok?"

"Alice is fine, baby. She's sleeping now, but she'll be flitting around in no time. You know Alice." She smiled, stroking his hand it softly.

"And…Rosalie?" He closed his eyes, comforted by his mothers' touch.

Esme sighed. "Rosalie has a very long recovery ahead of her, Edward. We are all going to have to be very patient and helpful with her, sweetie."

"Did they fix her up?"

"Well," Esme took a long breath. "Her jaw has been wired shut. Her nose has been set. Hopefully, she won't need any surgery on it, but we won't know that until the break heals. They operated on her collar bone, but they are going to have to do a more extensive reconstruction on it when the inflammation is gone. The elbow is next."

"She must be in so much pain," he mused. "I…I can't imagine."

"Well, right now, she's pretty well sedated. She's not really conscious, which is for the best, I think."

"Where's Emmett?" In all the commotion and turmoil, Edward hadn't seen his oldest brother at all.

"He's been with Rose the whole time," she smiled at the thought. "Hasn't left her side. He's nothing if not loyal. But Dad and I are going to bring him home now. He needs to be resting. He doesn't need so much stress. He can come back later when she's awake."

Edward absorbed what his mother had told him, then chuckled softly to himself.

"What's so funny? Hmm?" Esme rested her head against Edward's. She was only now beginning to feel her exhaustion, now that the adrenaline rush was wearing off.

"I was just thinking. Rosalie with her jaw wired shut. She can't talk, right? How peaceful is it going to be around the house for a while?"

"I'm sure she'll find a way to make herself heard," Esme giggled lightly. It was a youthful, girlish sound and Charlie stirred at it, sitting up quickly and looking around.

He looked at Edward. "Oh, you're up. Morning, Esme," he whispered, nodding. "How are the kids?" Bella still slept soundly at his side.

"They are doing as well as can be expected, Charlie. We'll be bringing Emmett home shortly. Alice and Jasper will likely come home tomorrow. Rosalie, well," she sighed. "It's hard to say."

"Well, if you and Carlisle need anything, you just let me know, you hear? Don't hesitate at all."

"Thank you, Charlie. That's very sweet." she smiled demurely.

"Bells?" Charlie shook her gently. "Bells, come on, let's go home so you can get some breakfast and a little bit of sleep."

Bella opened her eyes and stared up at her father with a confused look on her face

"Charlie…what the…where…" she looked around. "Oh, gosh…Edward?"

"I'm right here, Bella," Edward stood up slowly from his chair, still stiff from sitting for hours. He stretched his lanky frame, trying to get his joints working again.

"How long were we asleep?" Bella yawned, stretching her arms as Charlie stood and adjusted his gunbelt.

"A few hours," he looked at his watch. "Definitely a few hours."

The No Admittance door flew open and Carlisle appeared, pushing a scowling Emmett in a wheelchair. He looked far too big for the chair, but that didn't deter Carlisle in his mission of wheeling the large boy. A wide bandage wrapped halfway across his forehead, and he wore a neck brace. But Carlisle had been right. Emmett had been the luckiest.

"Good morning, everyone. Charlie. Thank you for staying." Carlisle greeted them. Edward couldn't remember ever seeing his father look so exhausted.

"Morning, Carlisle. Hey, it's no problem." Charlie shook hands with the doctor.

"Hey, Emmett," Edward walked over to his brother. "How are you feeling?"

"How do you think I feel?" Emmett snapped. "Stupid shit."

"Sorry for being concerned," Edward mumbled as he drifted away from his brother and over to Bella, who put a consoling hand on his arm.

"Emmett, petulance won't change the fact that we're taking you home, so you might as well accept it and not snap at your brother for showing concern." Carlisle's tone was clipped.

"Since when has that fucking dick been concerned about anyone but himself?" Emmett spat. He shook his head, looking at Bella. "I feel sorry for you, girlie. You seem nice. I'm sure you deserve better."

Bella stared at him, eyes wide with disbelief. She'd never even formally met Emmett Cullen before, and here he was, saying such terrible things to her about the boy she had fallen in love with.

"I see the happy pills have worn off," Charlie mumbled to Bella as she still stared at the big boy she used to refer to as "Dimples" Cullen, mouth open in shock. She'd have to change that to "Dickwad" Cullen in the future.

"OK, let's go home. Esme? Edward? You ready?" Carlisle turned the wheelchair toward the door and started to walk.

"Wait…Dr. Cullen?"

"Yes, Bella?" Carlisle stopped and turned to look at Bella.

"I was just thinking, it might be a better idea if Edward were to ride home with us. I mean, that way Emmett could have the whole back seat to himself and stretch out in the car?" She tried to sound confident in her statement and not let the boring, angry eyes of Emmett Cullen distract her.

Carlisle stared at Bella, his eyes meeting hers. He nodded thoughtfully. "You know, that might actually be a good idea, Bella. That is, as long as your father doesn't mind?"

"Nope, no problems bringing the boy home at all, Carlisle. In fact, why don't I take them both to the diner for a little breakfast first? I'm sure Edward here can use some coffee right about now," Charlie smiled at Edward.

"I think that would be a good idea, Charlie," Esme nodded to Charlie. "Thank you."

"No problem, Esme," Charlie walked over to Esme and hugged her lightly. "It's the least I can do. Carlisle," he held his hand out to the doctor again. "Like I told your wife, anything we can do to help out, don't hesitate to call."

"Thank you, Charlie," Carlisle gripped Charlie's hand firmly. "We appreciate the offer."

"Can we go home now? I'm supposed to be _resting_." Emmett's tone was as sarcastic as his temper was short.

"We are going right now, Emmett." Carlisle pushed the wheelchair toward the automatic doors and quickly through them.

"See you later, sweetie," Esme kissed Edward's cheek softly. "And thank you again, Charlie." She pecked Charlie's cheek as well, doing the same to Bella before rushing out of the waiting room to where her husband and son were arguing on the sidewalk outside.

Edward shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the floor "Thanks, Chief Swan."

"Hey, no problem, Edward," he put his hand on Edward's shoulder, gripping it gently. "Hey, Emmett's just upset and hurting, son. I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it."

"Then you don't know Emmett like I do," Edward shook his head, laughing to himself.

"It's ok, Edward. Let him think whatever he wants. We know better. We know you." Bella took his hand. "Come on. I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

"Me too," Charlie led the way out of the waiting room. "What are you guys gonna eat? I'm having pancakes. And eggs. And sausage. Ooo and bacon! Bells, you having bacon?"

"Knock it off, Charlie," she walked slowly behind her father, holding on to Edward's hand.

"Hey, Edward, I think you should have a nice ham steak. With a side of Canadian bacon!" Charlie turned and faced Edward and Bella, the corners of his mustache turned up in an evil grin as he walked backwards.

Edward managed a small smile. "Or maybe we should have steak and eggs?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Oh, the two of you are gonna get it!"

"Wonder if they'll cook our eggs in bacon grease, Edward?" Charlie winked and Edward's smile grew.

"Oh, I'm sure they will if we ask them nicely," he giggled when Bella shoved him hard.

"I wonder if we'll run into any of your friends, Bells?" Charlie cackled as he looked at his disheveled daughter. She'd had the foresight during a quick trip to the bathroom before falling asleep to wash her face and get the black smudges off with a rough paper towel, but no one in Forks had ever seen her dressed like she was.

"Maybe they won't recognize you, Bella, so you won't have to worry about anyone saying anything." Edward smirked as they reached the parked police cruiser.

"Of course, what with camera phones and all, I'm sure that if she does run into someone, her picture will be all over town in about an hour," Charlie smiled as Edward guffawed out loud. He'd succeeded in lifting Edward's dour mood. He couldn't help himself. He really liked the boy. And the boy really loved his daughter. He was respectful to her. Treated her well. And he respected Charlie and his rules. What was there not to like?

"Well, I know one thing for sure. If we run into freakin' Newton, he will never, ever bother me again. Even after we break up, Edward," she laughed at the thought as she got in the back seat of the cruiser. "Edward, you sit up front. I don't want the fine people of Forks thinking the weird Cullen finally snapped."

"Oh, sounds like you're buckin' for that break up sooner rather than later," he snorted as he slid into the passengers seat of the cruiser and put on his seat belt. "Hey, Chief Swan, if you drive through town with the lights on, people will think you arrested your own daughter."

"Hmm…that's very tempting, Edward," Charlie navigated the car out of the hospital parking lot and headed to town. "What kind of charge can we say we got her on? I mean, isn't that outfit in and of itself a crime against humanity?"

"Oh, I'd say it was a fashion felony for sure, Chief Swan." Edward grinned from ear to ear.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Hope you liked it! **

** Things should be getting good now...secrets to be revealed and all. Believe me, Edward has a whopper of a secret!**

**With regard to the injuries, well, I'm an accountant, not a doctor, so I might be off on some of the treatment options here. But, please bear with me...it's a work of fiction, after all LOL**

**I'd love to hear some feedback, so please, hit that little review button at the bottom there...I want to know what you think!**

**And as always, thanks for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11: Pinhead

**Had to backdoor this chapter in because for some reason, it wouldn't upload. Kept telling me my file wasn't right. I have no idea how that could be, since it's the same word doc I always use and I have NO idea about formatting and what not. I even rebooted my computer! So, with much sweat and frustration, here's Chapter 11!**

**Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me, and with this story. I have noticed that there seems to be more of you reading. Welcome to anyone who's just found this, and I do hope you are enjoying it!**

**And kuddo's to the person who guessed right about the chapter titles :D**

**Business first, then on to the chapter~Twilight, it's characters and situations, belongs to the one and only Stephenie Meyer and sadly, not to me.**

**Enjoy!**

**~*~*~*~*~***

**Chapter 11: Pinhead**

Edward struggled to keep his eyes open as Mr. Banner droned on about…something. It was hard to say what he was talking about since all it sounded like to him was a long, endless buzz of noise. Bella sat beside him at their lab table, their chairs closer together than any other lab partners were. Then again, they were the only lab partners in this class dating. His hand was in hers as her fingers caressed his hand gently. Finally unable to take it anymore, he leaned forward, folding his free arm over the unopened notebook in front of him, and laid his head down onto his arm, closing his eyes with a soft sigh of relief.

"Mr. Cullen? Is everything ok?"

His head jerked up with a start.

"Huh?"

"I asked if you were ok." Mr. Banner was staring at him intently, as was most of the class. "Are you ok, Mr. Cullen?

News of the devastating accident had been all over the school before first period on Monday, and it felt like the entire student body was asking him how his brothers and sisters were.

The teachers, however, seemed particularly concerned with how Edward was doing. He had been asked to remain after each of his classes so each instructor could question him about how his siblings were and how he was holding up. How was he holding up? He couldn't say, really, but it was obvious to him that the strongest threads holding him together were the ones that belonged to Bella and Charlie Swan.

Sunday had been one of the worst days he could remember, and he could remember his fair share of terrible days in his short seventeen years. After Charlie insisted on him eating a 'healthy' breakfast, consisting of two fried eggs, hash brown potatoes and some nicely greasy breakfast sausage, he had fallen asleep on the Swan's sofa while Bella ran up to take a shower before she and Charlie drove them to the Cullen's. Chief Swan had decided that since they were both a bit sleep deprived, neither should drive her truck there. Yawning as they were, particularly after such heavy breakfasts (Edward had no idea how Bella managed to pack away a tall stack of flapjacks, but she had. And in what had to be world record time as well), neither was really in any position to argue. So, Bella ran up to her bedroom to shower and change while Edward waited in the living room, dozing on the sofa. He woke up with a brightly colored afghan tossed over him and Chief Swan sitting in his big arm chair, watching SportCenter. Chief Swan had obviously covered him while he slept, and the idea made Edward smile to himself. As much of a hard time as Charlie was prone to giving him, what with calling him "Hot Lips" Cullen or intentionally calling him by the wrong name and wagging his authoritative finger in a frightened Edward's face while warning him about his conduct "with my little girl", Charlie Swan liked him.

Charlie had dropped them both off at the Cullen house shortly after that and headed down to the station, advising Bella to call him when she was ready to go home before he drove off into town. It was Edward's turn to shower and change now while Bella helped Esme pack a fresh change of clothes for Alice to come home from the hospital in. The two women then sat quietly in the massive white Cullen living room, where they listened to an ongoing argument between Carlisle and a still very angry Emmett on the second floor. Once again, Bella couldn't help but wonder what the hell had gone down in Casa Cullen to cause hostility on such a grand scale.

Then Bella rode along with the four silent Cullen's to the hospital in a big, black Cadillac SUV. Jasper and Alice rode home with them in relative silence, which had surprised Bella, as she'd never witnessed Alice being silent for any stretch of time like she had been on the ride home.

But silence wasn't golden once they returned home, with Emmett and Carlisle picking up where they had left off earlier in the afternoon. No one got much sleep at the Cullen house on Sunday night, least of all Emmett and Carlisle.

"I'm fine, sir. I'm sorry. I didn't get much sleep last night and I guess it's catching up with me now." Edward answered the biology teacher honestly.

"It's ok, Edward. I understand. You can keep your head down if you don't feel well, but I draw the line on snoring," Mr. Banner joked in a good natured way, and the rest of the class giggled. Bella squeezed the hand she was holding as Edward, red faced, nodded at the teacher, waiting until all eyes were back facing the front of the room before putting his head back down and closing his eyes.

Edward drove Bella home after school, having picked her up that morning because he was the only Cullen going to school that day.

"Do you have to work today?" She fumbled around inside her messenger bag before pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

"No, they gave me the week off," he sighed. "You gonna smoke one of those?"

In the weeks that they had been dating, both Edward and Bella had slowly begun to smoke less and less, until they basically shared one cigarette at lunch and that was it for the day. Edward's nervous habit wasn't as necessary now as it had once been, and Bella really felt very little desire to smoke anymore. She guessed that it was more that she had less to rebel against here in Forks. Really, she had nothing to rebel against. Her father accepted her, piercings and all, and her boyfriend loved her just the way she was. There was no reason to shock, no one to piss off. And no reason to shock or piss off.

"Nah. I haven't had a cigarette since last Friday, you know."

"Really? Me either. I didn't even stop for my usual evening smoke when I got home from the party." Edward shook his head.

"Damn, I think we kicked the habit!"

"I guess we did," he smiled. "But it was the habit that brought us together, so I'll always be grateful to cigarettes for that," he glanced over at her and gave her a smoldering look.

"You falling asleep? Because if you are you damn well better pull over and let me drive the rest of the way, Edward."

"I'm not falling asleep. I was trying to look at you all sexy like," he shook his head laughing.

"First off, you always look all sexy like. Secondly, with your eyes red, bloodshot and swollen, a sexy like look is just not gonna happen, my pet."

"Yeah, I wasn't thinking," he sighed, and ran his hand through his hair as he pulled up in front of Bella's house.

"You want to come in for a soda and some peace and quiet?"

"I can't," he sighed. "I need to get Alice and Jasper their work, and as soon as I get home, Mom will head to the hospital to stay with Rose for a while. We can't leave Alice and Jasper alone."

"Your poor mom, having two kids out of commission like that," Bella shook her head, thinking of the warm and wonderful Esme, doting on her injured children.

"Yeah. It's pretty sad." Edward chewed on his bottom lip. "Alice is basically helpless right now. Dad actually had to carry her into the bathroom last night just so she could pee. She was just mortified. I spent most of the night in her room with her. She cried and cried until she fell asleep."

"How about Jasper? Is he still all doped up?"

"He's in a lot of pain. Those are some pretty powerful pain pills that they put on. They knock him right out, so at least he slept through all the bullshit last night," he sighed. "I may have to steal one for myself tonight."

"What the hell is Emmett's problem?" Bella shook her head. She wanted to like Emmett, but he had a very bad attitude. She wouldn't dare tell Edward that, before she knew his name, she called him "Dimples Cullen" in her head.

"It's all part of the whole situation," Edward stared out the front window of the Volvo. "It's…it's complicated."

"You know, it might make you feel better if you talked about it, Edward." She reached out and put her hand over his.

"I don't think I have enough time," he snorted, shaking his head.. "We'd need hours and hours…and…well…" his voice trailed off as he looked down at his hands in his lap. "And I don't think you'd like me as much after," his voice was barely a whisper.

"Edward, you know I love you, right?" Her voice was soft.

"Of course I do. And I love you," he smiled, but his green eyes were dark and heavy with…something. Was it fear? Self loathing? She couldn't be sure.

"I just want you to know that, well, you can tell me anything. I'll never judge you or your family. Ever," She reached out and touched his thigh reassuringly.

He swallowed hard. _If only she knew_, he thought. _If only she knew what she had gotten herself into the minute she asked me for a light._

He sighed. "It's a whole power struggle. It's Rose and Emmett, and, to some extent, Jasper. It's just…there's just a whole lot of back story, Bella. It's not that I don't want to tell you. It's just that, I dunno. There are a lot of embarrassing situations in my family. Like I said, you probably won't like me much after." He ran a long, elegant hand through his mussed bronze mane.

"You mean, like your brothers and sisters dating each other?" She threw her head back, letting out her deep, throaty laugh.

"Something like that," he mumbled, staring down at is lap again.

"Sweetie, look at me," she reached across the console hooked her finger around his angular jaw, tilting his head up and turning it to face her. "It's me, Edward. It's Bella. There's nothing that you can't tell me, baby, that I won't understand," she cooed.

He felt the lump forming in his throat. He wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her everything. But he knew he couldn't. At least not yet. Not now. But she was being so earnest, how could he deny her everything? How could he deny her anything? Maybe he could feed her a few tidbits. Maybe he could leave out a few of the more unsavory details. He could, couldn't he? He could at least try.

"It's a long story," he drew in a deep breath as Bella reclined the back of her seat so that she was nearly lying down. She turned to face him, curling her legs up.

"I'm all ears, Edward," she whispered, her deep chocolate eyes tender.

He took another deep breath and began, his voice low and even. "See, I was the first child Carlisle and Esme adopted. I've been with them the longest, since I was seven. So, that's ten years."

"Right. Then Alice came?" She nodded.

"Yep. Alice two years after me. We were both nine. Then Rose right before we moved to Seattle after my grandfather passed."

"So that would make you and Alice…what? Eleven when Rose came into the family?" She tried to calculate quickly in her head.

"Twelve, actually. Rose was thirteen. A very hardened, very street smart thirteen." He shifted in his seat, reclining the back of his seat as well, and turned his body to face her so that he was almost mirroring her position. "She spent a lot of years in the foster care system, Bella. A lot of years. She came to us very damaged."

"And she's still damaged?" Bella watched his vivid green eyes as he told his story.

"I think she was far too damaged to ever be fixed. She's…what's the word?" He furrowed his brow, thinking. "Manipulative?"

"Knew how to get her way?"

"Yeah. She knows how to set things in motion. See, when she first came, Carlisle and Esme lavished all of their attentions on her. She was new, she was damaged. She needed to adjust. She needed to heal. You see how Esme is. She would mother an egg if she felt the egg needed love," he smirked at the idea. "Rose, well, she was jealous of everything. Remember how I told you my grandfather gave us amazing gifts?"

Bella nodded. "Like your piano?"

"Yep, that huge piano you saw in the living room on Sunday. That's the one."

"It's beautiful, Edward," she smiled. She knew how much that piano meant to him, and she selfishly wished she could hear him play. Watch him play. She knew he was passionate and beautiful when he played, she could just feel it.

"Well, from the time Alice joined our family, if I got an elaborate gift from him, then Grandfather gifted Alice with the same. So, she had all of these dolls, real jewelry and, my God, she was nine and she had designer purses" he shook his head and laughed.

"Right up Alice's alley, eh?" Bella giggled.

"I think my grandfather is responsible for Alice being the fashionista she is today," he smiled his crooked smile, eyes lighting up at the thought of his beloved Alice. "Anyway, Rose hated that Alice and I were so close when she first came, and basically decided to play us against one another until we weren't speaking."

"How'd she do that?"

"She did some really nasty shit, Bella," he whispered. "She stole a diamond heart necklace that Grandfather had given Alice for her birthday and blamed me. Mom found it in the pocket of a pair of Rose's jeans when she was doing the laundry and made her apologize, of course, but she didn't mean it. She slashed one of the fancy purse's Alice had and put the razor she used in my bedroom. She cut a couple of strings on my piano and made it look like Alice had done it," he sighed heavily. "It was horrible, Bella."

"I bet it was, sweetie," Bella reached across the console and took his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers.

Encouraged, he continued. "This was all going on just before and when we had just moved to Seattle. Things were in upheaval. We were leaving familiar surroundings and going somewhere we had no clue about. About all Alice and I had was each other. And Rose, of course." He shook his head at the memory. "It was so horrible, Bella. Alice and I not speaking to each other, ignoring each other. Whenever Rose would speak to me, she'd tell me horrible things she said Alice had said about me. She would do the same with Alice, telling her I said terrible things about her. And it was all lies. Lies Rose had made up to drive us apart. Mom overheard one day, though. She put two and two together and figured out what was going on. She just went off on Rose. Really let her have it. Rose was grounded for a month when Mom and Dad finally figured it all out. That's when Rose set her sights on bringing Mom down." He let out a long, slow breath.

"Are you kidding?" Bella looked at him, eyes wide. "What kind of a pinhead is she? She plotted revenge on the woman who took her out of the foster care system? What the fuck? Is she the bad seed or something?"

Edward nodded. "Oh, she's a bad seed alright. Devil incarnate, maybe even." He looked down at his fingers twined with Bella's, rubbing his thumb along her fingers gingerly. "She decided that Mom played favorites, and she wasn't the favorite. I'll be absolutely frank here. I am my mother's favorite, Bella. Of course, I'd never say it out loud to anyone but you. And I'm only the favorite because, well, she raised me, really. I'm with her the longest. I was the youngest when she got me. She saved me. And I think that, in some way, I saved her." He paused, his brow furrowed as he thought. "Everything I am today? Everything that's _good_ about me? That's because of Esme Cullen." He blinked back tears as he swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat while he spoke of his mother.

"I have always been able to see how much you love your mom, Edward." She smiled, leaning her head back against the headrest as she gazed at him. His green eyes glowing at the thought of his mother. "And that night in the diner? I could see how much she loved you, just in the way she looked at you."

He smiled. "Do you know what she said to me Saturday night? After we found out about the accident?"

"What'd she say, baby," she cooed to him.

"She said that when Dad told her about the accident, all she could think was how happy she was that I wasn't with them." He swallowed hard and Bella squeezed his hand tightly as a tear ran slowly down Edward's cheek. "She said it made her a horrible person. But, she's not, Bella. She's a wonderful and caring person. The most loving and caring person I'll ever meet in my life. I'm lucky to know her. Luckier to be her son," he wiped the tear off his cheek. "And you know, she was just terrified that she'd lost one of her children. She was certain that she'd lost Alice. My mother couldn't live with herself if she'd lost one of them. _Any_ of them, Rose included." He shook his head. "Rose would never believe that, though. Rose has no idea, Bella, that my mother sat in her room all night on Saturday and all night on Sunday, praying a Rosary. Emmett, he knows. But he won't tell her. He won't do anything to try to stop the bullshit."

"Why's that?" Her voice was soft and understanding. She reached across with her free hand and brushed more tears off his cheek gently with her fingertips.

"Because he's not very bright, Bella. He's rather dumb. Like a big, stupid ox. She's got him brainwashed into thinking that the only way they can get what they want, get what they feel they deserve from Carlisle and Esme, is by intimidation. He can't think for himself. He's the perfect partner for someone like Rose," he slapped at his cheek as more angry tears escaped and slid down it. "Do you know that, because of them, my father and I barely spoke for nearly two years?"

"You and Dr. Cullen didn't speak?" She looked surprised.

"Nope. Why do you think I was so afraid to talk to my parents that night at the diner? We avoided one another like the plague."

"But…why?"

"Because one night, when we first moved to Forks, we were all at this house party. It was at the Crowley's house. It was thrown by Tyler's older brother—the one in the Navy now. I forget his name, but he was really a wild kid." Edward smiled slightly at the memory. "Now, it was the end of my Freshman year, I was fifteen and I was having a really hard time transitioning here." Something in this statement struck him funny, and he laughed a bit to himself. "Anyway we all went to this party. All five of us. I had sort of started hanging out with a group of older guys at lunch in the parking lot at school, smoking and goofing off. So, they were at the party and they had booze and pot. I was with them at the party, and yeah, I drank a bit. But I didn't smoke anything." He paused, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself as he began to feel agitated at the memory. "The next morning my father basically broke down my bedroom door. I had fallen asleep on top of my bed, fully clothed. The little bit of booze I'd had made me so sleepy I just passed out. I really had never drank before. Of course, because I was with people drinking and smoking, I stunk like last call at the local dive bar. I stunk of weed. It was disgusting, really." He wrinkled his nose as Bella hung on his every word.

"So Carlisle just slammed through the locked door and into my room."

"He doesn't look like he'd be strong enough to break down a door. He seems like such an elegant and graceful man," Bella mused.

"Oh, you don't want to tussle with him when he's mad. You heard him arguing with Emmett. He's very strong, believe me. He broke down that door, and literally dragged me off the bed and into the bathroom. He threw me into the tub. Just picked me up by my shirt and jeans and tossed me into the tub, clothes and all, face down, and turned the cold water on me, screaming at me the whole time to sober up." He paused, licking his lips, emerald eyes far, far away. "I wasn't drunk. Who gets drunk from half a bottle of beer? And I wasn't stoned, but I sure as shit smelled like I was. I had no idea what the hell he was screaming at me for, because I didn't _do_ anything. What I've come to find out recently is that the morning after the party, Rose had gone to Mom and Dad, and told them she was so worried about me, because I was hanging with this bad crowd, and drinking and smoking weed. Told them I was going out at lunch and getting drunk and high, and that after watching my behavior at the party, how drunk and stoned I was, she just had to tell them before I really hurt myself."

"Wh…why would she do something like that?" Bella squinted her eyes at him.

"Because she wanted to be the favorite, Bella. Take down the favorite and you become the favorite, right? Because it's a sick game for her. Because maybe she's a little demented." He turned onto his back and leaned his head back, closing his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. He took a deep breath. "Because it's the only way she knows." He paused for a few minutes and just when Bella realized that he was done, that he wasn't going to talk anymore, he turned his head and looked at her. "I owe you big time, you know," his voice was soft, so low she could hardly hear him.

"Why's that?" she whispered back.

"Because of you, I talk to my dad again," his whispered voice was filled with emotion. "Because of you, I know about Rose going to him that day. And…she has no idea I know." An evil grin twisted his mouth up at the corners.

"You're welcome," she breathed as she leaned over and kissed his crooked smile.

"I love you, Bella Swan," he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto him. She didn't fight it, sliding her legs over the console and straddling him in the drivers seat.

"I love you too, Edward," she breathed, twisting her fingers into his unruly copper locks as he slid his tongue across her lower lip, flicking it at her lip ring. The sensation this created drove her crazy, causing her entire being to quiver as her breath caught in her throat. She ground her hips into his, feeling his growing need. He groaned softly in response. "Charlie won't be home for a few hours," she breathed into his mouth. "Why don't you come in?"

Her words broke the magical spell that they had been enchanted by, and Edward pulled his lips away from hers.

"I can't," he whispered in a low controlled voice, turning his head away, eyes cast downward. "Mom is waiting for me. I've stayed too long as it is."

She sat on his lap, looking down at him dejectedly. "I…I understand." She sat up and jumped as a car horn sounded loudly. "Is that Charlie?!"

"No, Bella. It was just your ass hitting the horn," he sighed, keeping his head turned toward the door window so he didn't have to look at her disappointed face.

"I'm sorry I kept you so long, Edward," she apologized as she climbed off him and slid back into the passengers seat, picking up her messenger bag and sifting through the contents for her keys.

"No, it's my own fault, Bella. I…I just needed to tell you this stuff. I need to tell you more." He still didn't look at her, his voice almost a whisper.

"There's plenty of time for you to tell me your…your…stuff," her voice tried to be understanding, but there was an underlying sadness in her tone as she tried to mask her disappointment. Why didn't he want her? Why didn't he want to make love to her? Most guys thought she was easy just by the way she looked. Then again, most guys weren't Edward.

She opened the passenger's side door and swung her legs out, hoisting herself up and out of the car, feeling guilty, disappointed and oddly undesirable.

"Night, Bella." Still he didn't look at her.

"Night, Edward. Tell Alice and Jasper I said hey, ok?" She leaned over and peered into the car. Edward was sitting up now, staring straight out the windshield at the road in front of him. He nodded as he started the car, glancing over at her quickly. "Drive safe, ok?" He nodded again, shifting the car into drive as she slammed the door shut and scampered up the front path like a scared rabbit. She didn't turn back toward the car again, for fear he would see her tears.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

"Oh, Edward, you're finally home. Did you get stuck at school, sweetie?" Edward stood in the entrance hall of the big Cullen house, backpack at his feet. Esme reached up and wrapped her delicate hand around the back of Edward's head, pulling him down to kiss his forehead lovingly. "You feeling ok?"

"I'm fine, Mom," he stood with his hands shoved in his jacket pockets, looking down at his feet.

"Now, Edward," Esme sighed. "Do you think I could have raised you all these years and not know when something's bothering you?" She crooked her index finger under his chin and lifted it until he was looking at her. "Did you and Bella have a fight?"

"No, not really." He paused, biting his lower lip. "I…I told her some stuff, Mom." His voice was low, almost shameful.

Esme studied her son's face. "Did it upset her?" His mother's voice was soft and soothing.

"I told her the stuff Rose used to do to Alice and me. When she first came to the family," he ran his hand through his already messy hair. "There's…I have so much…" his voice trailed off and he sighed. "I don't know how to tell her everything and not lose her, Mom."

Esme smiled at him. It was a big, bright smile filled with confidence~the confidence her son so desperately lacked. "Well, I think that you are doing it exactly right, Edward," her voice was low. "Tell her everything. Tell her slowly. Allow her to absorb everything." She put her hand on his shoulder. "Bella is an extraordinary girl, Edward. And she so obviously loves you. I think she's going to be very understanding, sweetie. What's done is done. That was another life, baby."

He smirked. "You have to think that way. You're my mother. But Bella," he sighed, running both hands through his hair together. "Bella, she might not see me in the same light that you do, Mom. She might not be as understanding or forgiving as you are. And I don't want to lose her, Mom. I…I love her."

"The only way you won't lose her, Edward, is to be honest with her," her voice was soft and understanding as she caressed his stubbly cheek.

"She…she's kind of been hinting…" He felt his face reddening and he looked at the floor again. He really shouldn't be discussing this with his mother.

"Hinting? Edward?" Esme quirked a perfect eyebrow at him. He looked at his mother. She was so beautiful. So gentle. So loving. She deserved a much better son than he was. She deserved better than any of them, really. All they did was fight and drive the family apart. And all Esme had ever wanted was a beautiful, loving family. A reflection of her soul, really. And none of them could hold a candle to this amazing woman standing before him.

He took a deep breath and thought for a moment before finally speaking. "She's…well, she's….she's kind of…maybe she's…experienced," he stammered uncomfortably. "I…I think, a little, maybe, with…you know…she's sort of…umm…" he looked at her with pleading eyes and sighed. "Mom…what do I do," he whispered.

"You follow your heart, darling," she smiled, still petting his cheek. "Follow your heart and you'll know what's right, Edward." He closed his eyes, sighing. "You'll know if it's real, baby. You'll know."

"How did you know that Dad was the one, Mom?"

"I don't know that I ever really knew, Edward," she smiled. "It was like, we just fell in step. Everything aligned and felt right. And that was it." She patted his cheek. "Don't try to rush it, Edward. You understand the consequences of rushing things. I don't want you to have to go through that again," her voice was soft. "Not now that you've finally found someone who's brought you back to life, back to us."

"I won't Mom," he smiled his crooked smile and melted into Esme's arms. "I love you, Mom."

"Oh, my sweet Edward, I can't tell you how much I love you too or how much I love hearing you say that again!" Her arms wrapped tightly across his broad back as he buried his face in her long hair.

"MOM! Where are you?" Emmett's bellow reverberated down the hallway.

"I'm in the front hall, Emmett," she pulled away from Edward as she yelled back. "Hurry up if you want to go see Rose with me!" Esme shook her head. "That boy has no manners," she sighed to Edward who smirked. "Ok, Jasper took a pill about," she glanced at her watch, "half hour ago, so he'll be out for another two hours or so before you should go check on him. I just helped Alice into her bed before I came down here, so she's probably napping now, but it wouldn't hurt for you to go look in at her when you run upstairs, in case she needs anything." Emmett came bounding down the staircase, sliding his arms into a black hoodie as he did. "There's some Hot Pockets in the freezer if you get hungry before I'm back. I'm picking up some pizza for Jasper and Alice. Anything special you want on yours?" She picked up her purse from the chair it was laying on and grabbed her keys.

"Whatever you bring home is fine with me, Mom." He picked up his backpack and turned toward the stairs. "Tell Rose I said hi."

"Yeah, because she really cares" Emmett scoffed at him. Edward ignored his much bigger brother and walked quietly up the stairs.

"Ok, Emmett, let's go." Esme opened up the door and roughly shoved the boy out of the warm house and into the chilly November air.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Edward knocked gently on the door, before turning the knob quietly and peering in. Alice shifted on her bed restlessly and turned her head, facing the door as she opened her eyes.

"Edward?" She sat up on her elbows as her brother entered her bedroom. "Oh, I'm so happy you're finally home!" He crossed the floor and sat down on the edge of her bed. While Edward's bedroom was sleek~all clean lines and neutral tones~Alice's bedroom was truly a reflection of Alice. It was a girl's bedroom. White furniture with scrolls and embellishments, pink gauzy fabrics with lace. Crystal chandelier and wall sconces. Even a feather or two. Alice was a girly girl through and through.

"Hey, spider monkey," Edward smiled, teasing his sister.

"Oooo you know I hate it when you call me that!" Her tiny hands balled into fists at her side as she giggled.

"I know," he whispered as he leaned in, tenderly kissing her on her forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"I'll feel better once they get this ghastly boot thing off my foot! Look at it, Edward!" She pointed down at the giant black boot. "It's hideous!"

"Let's see…if I remember correctly, you were pretty darn excited about that boot on Saturday night," he smirked at her. "Said you could kick my ass with it."

"I was drugged out of my mind on Saturday night, Edward," she rolled her eyes. "And don't tempt me, because I can and will kick your ass with this!" She shifted over on the bed, and patted the spot next to her. "Lie down with me. I need to rest but I can't seem to relax and fall asleep."

Edward slid up next to her, laying down on his side, facing her. Alice brought her tiny hand up and traced her index finger around the bruise like purple circles under his eyes. "You look like you could use some sleep too," she sighed. "Remember when I first came? My first night?"

He smiled at the memory. "You crawled into my bed. You were crying because you were scared. Your bedroom was too big and you were too alone, you said."

"And you gave me Sebastian," she pulled a very well loved teddy bear from her side and wiggled it in Edward's face.

"Oh my God…you…you still have him?" Edward was astonished.

"This was the very first thing anyone ever gave me to keep, Edward. Of course I still have him. And you gave him to be because I was frightened. Remember what you said?" She hugged the bear to her chest.

"I told you that you could stay the night, but that Sebastian was the best guard bear there was," he chuckled. "That he'd keep you safe."

"And I've slept with him every night since that night," she smiled at her brother adoringly.

"And has he kept you safe?"

"Every night," sighing, she settled into a comfortable position on the bed, Sebastian wrapped tightly in her arms.

"You never told me that," Edward whispered.

"You never asked," she whispered back. "Did you ever miss him?"

"Sebastian?" She nodded. "I did," he sighed, "but I figured you were you were so small and so scared that he belonged with you instead of me. I was bigger than you and not nearly as scared," he smiled at her.

Alice's eyes were slowly closing. "You were so wonderful to me, Edward, even back then. You've always been wonderful to me."

"Because you're my sister and I love you." He pulled a small fleece blanket up over her. "Now get some sleep so I can do my homework," he smiled, but Alice was already asleep.

Edward slipped silently out of Alice's room and across the hall to Jasper's room, where he peeked in on his sleeping sibling, just to make sure all was well. Satisfied that no one had died on his watch, he quietly went up to the third floor, to his room, to start his homework.

He sat down at his desk and pulled his books out of his backpack. He paused to rub his eyes, wishing like hell that he could lie down and take a nap himself. But he knew he had to be awake in case Alice or Jasper needed him for something. Opening his biology text book, he started to read the assigned chapter.

Edward's eyes flew open at the sound of the front doorbell ringing and Alice yelling for him.

_Shit_, he thought, _I fell asleep reading my bio text book_!

He jumped up so quickly that his chair fell over backward with a loud thud. He ran to his door, glancing at the clock as he did. He'd been asleep for at least an hour. Edward flew down the stairs and into Alice's room.

"What? What is it?" He looked around, panicked and disoriented.

"Someone's at the front door, genius," she smirked.

"NOT funny, Alice!" He ran a hand through his disheveled hair. "Was that really it?"

The doorbell rang again. "Yes, you idiot. Now go answer it!" She shook her head and giggled.

He nodded silently and ran down the stairs.

"I'm coming! I'm coming! Keep your shirt on, for Christ's sake!" He yanked the door open with force, angrily glaring at the intruder.

"Bella…what…uh…come in?"

Bella Swan stood on the threshold of the Cullen home, tin lasagna pan in hand.

"Thanks…I think?" She stepped into the entrance hall and looked at Edward. She felt a little bit uncomfortable and had trouble making eye contact with him. _Maybe I should have called first_, she thought.

"Um…hi," he smiled crookedly at her.

"Hi. Here." Her tone was slightly cool as she passed the lasagna pan to him. "Be careful. The tin pan isn't that sturdy. I don't want you to spill it over your mom's white carpet."

The air between them was thick, the situation awkward.

"What's this? Come on in. Take your jacket off and have a seat." He walked past her and led them into the kitchen. Bella took her jacket off and tossed it onto a stool at the breakfast bar.

"It's just a pan of lasagna. I was making it for Charlie and I, and I figured it was just as easy to make a second pan for you guys." She slid onto the stool next to the one her jacket laid on.

"That's really sweet of you, Bella. Thank you." He stood by the kitchen counter, smiling awkwardly at her. "Um, should I refrigerate it?"

"Yeah, I didn't bake it. It's easier to transport that way. So, just put it in the fridge until you're ready for dinner and then pop it in the oven at 350 for about twenty or thirty minutes. So the cheese can melt and it can heat through." She was still having difficulty looking at him. She didn't know why. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that he was her boyfriend and apparently didn't desire her in the same way other boys desired their girlfriends.

"You really didn't have to do this," he slid the pan onto an empty shelf in the refrigerator and closed the door, sliding his hands into the front pockets of his jeans as he looked down at his feet. "Thanks, Bella," he added in a soft voice.

"Oh, it's nothing. I figured with your mom being at the hospital and with Alice and Jasper needing help and stuff, how can anyone have time to cook in this house," she rambled nervously. "Um, so, I know you're probably really busy too, so I'll be going I guess." She slid off the stool.

"Can you stay for dinner?"

"Uh…I'm sure you don't really need me around here with all that's going on, Edward," she waved him off as she picked up her jacket.

"There's no one else I'd rather have be around here, Bella." He took a step toward her and she froze.

"I…I don't know, Edward." It was her turn to look down at her feet.

"Please? Bella…I don't like the way we left things this afternoon," he sighed, running his hand through his hair. If he kept this up, he'd be bald by Senior prom.

"I don't either," she breathed, still not looking at him. "Edward, I'm so sorry if I seem, well, forward. It's just that, well, I…I'm just used to a more, sort of a more, kind of physical, more intimate relationship, I guess. I didn't realize you were…um…are you…a…a virgin?"

Edward let out a low snort, causing her to look up at him. "I'm not a virgin, Bella," he shook his head, his voice very low. "There are just some things…some important things I need to sort out right now. I've been avoiding coming to terms with some junk, and now, with you, there's no more avoiding it. I didn't think I'd have to address it, but now I do. And until I do, I can't move forward with our relationship. So, it's pretty important to me, for us, that I sort it out. It kind of makes what you want a little difficult for me right now." He shook his head again, looking down at his feet once more. "And it's not that I don't want it too, because, believe me, I want it. I want you. But, I can't. Not right now."

She looked up at him with big, brown eyes. "Edward…are you saying…are you…" she swallowed hard. "Edward, do you think you might be gay?"

"What?!"

"Not that there's anything wrong with that," she was quick to amend. "I mean, I love you, you know? I love YOU, the person, not you, your body. Well, I do love your body, because, whether you realize it or not, you have an amazing body to touch. I mean, I'd like to say I love it, but…oh gosh, since I've never seen it or experienced it, I guess it would be nearly impossible for me to love your dick, wouldn't' it? Uhhh…oh God…did I just say that?" Her face flushed red as she realized what she'd just said in her nervous ramble. "I just made things worse, didn't I?" She looked up at him, his green eyes glowing darkly as he assessed her.

"Bella," his voice was low and steady. "I can assure you, I am not gay."

"Your not?" she sighed with relief. "Well, I can't say I ever really thought you were or even could be. It's just that the way you said there were some things you needed to sort out before we could, well, you know, I just figured maybe I had triggered something in you and you were having doubts that made you think maybe you were gay. Oh God, Edward, I'd just die if you dumped me for Mike freakin' Newton!" His arms were around her, pulling her to him as he chuckled softly.

"You're rambling again," he breathed into her hair, laughing softly. "You'll never, ever have to worry about me dumping you for that fucking tool, Bella," he smiled as she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest. "Although I might dump you for Ben. He's got some awesome eyebrows there."

Bella leaned back and slapped him on the shoulder. "I'm totally embarrassed and you're making fun of me. You suck," she giggled as he leaned down and kissed her. It was a quick, chaste kiss, but it told her everything she needed to know. She reached up and brushed the few strands of bronze hair that had fallen into his eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head. "I can't…at least not right now. It's something I just have to sort through for myself first, baby. It's not anything you can help me with. Believe me, I wish it was."

"I'm sorry you're hurting, and I'm sorry for trying to push you, Edward," she leaned her cheek against his strong chest as she hooked her thumbs into the waistband of his jeans.

"It's ok, baby. You had no way of knowing. I'm not exactly the best at communicating what I'm feeling," he rubbed her back gently. "I'm sorry if I made you think that I didn't want you, because, oh _God_, Bella, I do want you." He smiled as he leaned his cheek against the top of her head. "Just don't tell Chief Swan," he smirked. "I think he's starting to like me." They stood in the kitchen silently, holding on to one another.

"EDWAAAAAARRRRRD!!" Alice's scream pierced the silence that had enveloped them.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Hope you enjoyed it! Edward seems to have some sort of secret...I wonder what it could be?**

**If you liked, please click on the little review button and let me know!!**

**Thanks again for reading! **


	12. Chapter 12: We Want The Airwaves

**Ok, I still had to backdoor this chapter since it wouldn't upload...any ideas? I emailed support a couple of weeks ago but never got a response :( **

**Snow day....blizzard rages here in the greatest city in the world...and I didn't have to go to work because of it...so this chapter is up earlier than I expected it to be!**

**There's a small shout out to the late, great John Hughes in this one...can you find it? :D**

**Thanks to everyone who's taken the time to read this mess. I really do appreciate your time and your patience :)**

**Disclaimer: **_**Twilight**_**, it's characters, and it's situations do not belong to me. Believe me, I wish they did. Then I wouldn't be slogging off to work in the muck manana :D They all belong to the fertile mind of Stephenie Meyer.**

**Please enjoy~**

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Chapter 12: We Want The Airwaves**

Edward took the stairs two at a time and burst into Alice's bedroom gasping for breath.

"Alice! What is it! What's the matter?!" He looked around the room frantically.

Alice sat up primly in her bed. "Aren't you going to bring Bella up here to see me?"

"Is…is that what you were screaming about?" He stared at her blankly as the tension eased from his body.

"Of course it was. What did you think? That something was wrong?" She blinked at him demurely. "What could possibly be wrong, Edward?"

Bella came tripping in behind Edward. "Is everything ok?"

"Everything's just fine. Apparently, Alice heard you and wanted you up here instead of downstairs," Edward scowled, shaking his head. "I'll leave you two alone. I'm sure Alice is just dying for another good old fashioned girl on girl boob tweeking. I have to go look in on Jasper." He brushed past Bella and stormed out of the room.

Alice patted the side of her bed. "Come sit down, Bella! I'm so happy to see you!" She clapped her hands together excitedly.

Bella walked over to Alice's bed slowly, folding her arms over her chest protectively. "No boob grabbing," she laughed as she sat down. "New rule, Alice. If you want to be my friend, then the only Cullen who's allowed to touch my boobs is Edward, ok?"

Alice nodded and clapped her hands excitedly. "Of course I'll follow that rule! I want to be friends, Bella! I knew from the first time I saw you that we'd be great friends!"

"Yeah, well, it's good to know I'm friends with a clairvoyant," Bella rolled her eyes. "Maybe you can tell me how everything's going to work out with my boyfriend," she laughed and shook her head.

"Why, Bella," Alice's tone was as serious as the look on her face. "You and Edward are going to live happily ever after."

Bella was taken aback. Alice had stated it with such certainty, just as surely as if she had a crystal ball and could see into the future. She stared at Alice. "You seem so…certain," she mused, trying not to sound as freaked out as she felt.

"Oh, but I am certain. I'm not saying it's going to be an easy road to that happily ever after, Bella. It never is," she shook her head. "And Edward, well, Edward has some major issues that only he can work through." She smiled serenely. "Just, well, just have faith in him. He's worth waiting for."

Bella felt a chill run up her spine. It was as though Alice had heard their entire conversation and had read her thoughts. "Well, I'll take that under advisement" she took a breath, trying to steady her shaky voice, "seeing how someone seems to be a tad more insightful about it than I am."

"I know my brother, Bella. He's been through a lot. Most of it, he's gotten past in his own way. But not all of it. He's going to have to deal with it in order for the two of you to have that happily ever after. And I know he's trying, because he wants it as much as you do." Alice smiled smugly.

"Well, Alice, I'd be lying if I didn't say that this little, um, revelation of yours isn't freaking me out just a little more than your boob grab did," she tried to make her tone sound light, but it was near impossible after what the small, pixie of a girl had just said to her.

Alice's lips turned up into a wide grin as her dark eyes danced. "Admit it. You enjoyed the boob grab. You wish Edward's hands were as adept as mine."

Bella stared at Alice for a moment, before both girls burst out in giggles.

"You know, he's outside that door, listening to us right now," Alice whispered, "And he's totally pissed off at us."

"You scared the shit out of him, Alice. His face went white." Bella giggled as she remembered the expression on Edward's face when he heard Alice yell for him.

"Oh, please. His face is already so pale it could hardly drain of color since there isn't any in there to drain!" Alice shook her head. "He acts like if he goes out in the sun, something's going to happen to him. Like he'll dry up and blow away like a vampire." She laughed. "He's so pale, it's entirely possible that if the sun ever did hit his skin, it would reflect and refract the light, like those impossibly white buildings with the glitter on them you see at beach resorts." She waved her tiny hand in the air. "Or, like a diamond."

From outside of Alice's door came a muffled "I HEARD THAT!" causing both girls to collapse in a fit of hysterical laughter.

The door flew open and Edward stuck his head into the room. "Nice how some people can laugh when other's are just concerned for their well~" he was cut off when the pillow Alice tossed at him hit squarely in his face.

"Oh, ya gotta learn to lighten up a little, Edward," Alice shook her head as Bella wiped the tears that were escaping from her heavily mascara'd eyes and threatening to melt her makeup so she'd look like a weepy raccoon. "Life is hard enough without you being all mooney on us and being such a Debbie Downer. Edward Downer."

"I am not Debbie Downer, Alice. I just take life a little more seriously than you do," he huffed, obviously embarrassed by their reaction to him. "Maybe if some other people in this family did the same thing, we wouldn't be as fucked up as we are!" He folded his arms over his chest and stood with a smug expression on his face.

"Edward, I have always taken you seriously," Alice's voice was low. "Don't take out your frustrations with our asshole siblings on me. I understand, but sweetie, I'm just as helpless as you are."

Edward eyed Alice warily. "I'm not taking my frustrations out on you, Alice. It's just…you just…I…Oh, forget it," he waved his hand and turned to leave. "I'll be down in the kitchen when you're done with your visit, Bella."

"Edward, wait," Bella's voice was soft. He turned and looked back at her, seeing the love in her deep brown eyes. "I'm sorry if I was making fun of you," she sighed. "Come sit with us?" She held her hand out to him and Alice nodded in agreement.

He stared at them for a moment before slowly walking over to the bed. "I'll stay…but this doesn't mean you're forgive, you know. I don't forgive that easily." He sat down facing Bella, who took his hand.

"I'll have to think of a way to make it up to you then," she smiled.

"Blow jobs work really well," Alice chimed in.

Bella's jaw dropped, as Edward buried his crimson face in the palm of his hand. "Alice," he moaned.

"What? I'm just sayin'," Alice sat with an innocent look on her face.

"Bella, I'm so sorry for my sister," Edward mumbled into his hand. But Bella didn't hear him. She was too busy tossing her head back and letting out the loudest guffaw Edward had ever heard.

"I'm sorry, Edward, but the expression on your face was just priceless," she howled once she got her breath back. "And I've never seen it as red as it was! Your sister gets you every time! Every time!" Her deep throaty laugh filled the room.

Edward shook his head. "Ok," he sighed as he stood up. "Visiting hours are officially over. Come on, Bella."

"Going to your room for some bj time?" Alice grinned evilly at him.

"NO!" It came out harsher than he intended and Bella's laugh filled the room once again. "Oh, God…Oh God why did I ever come in here?" He shook his head as both hands ran nervously through his hair.

"It's ok, Edward. It's not technically sex, you know," Alice winked at him, exchanging a conspiratory glance with Bella.

"Ok, I'm leaving. I'm leaving by myself and going to the kitchen." He ran for the door, pulling it open wide before turning back to his sister and girlfriend. "Bella, maybe you should stay up here with Alice until dinner."

Both girls looked at him from the bed before collapsing into each other, laughing at his reaction.

"Dear God, Edward. You're so damn uptight that if we shoved a lump of coal up your butt it'd turn into a diamond in a week!" Alice shook her head, saying this with mock sincerity.

Edward dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, muttering "Going, going, going," as he beat a hasty retreat from the room, listening to the girls giggling as he ran.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Edward's nose was buried in _To Kill a Mockingbird_ when his mother walked in with both Emmett and Carlisle trailing behind her, pizza boxes in their arms.

"Edward, who's truck is that parked outside?"

He looked up from his book and looked around, confused. "Mom? I'm sorry, I didn't realize what time it was."

"I'm sorry, sweetie," she planted a light kiss on his forehead. "I should have called first. Is someone here visiting Alice and Jasper?"

"Bella's here."

"Oh, the girlfriend's here. You should have called. We wouldn't want darling Edward caught being naughty again, now would we?" Emmett sneered as Carlisle frowned at him, shooting him a warning look with his eyes.

"Enough, Emmett. We have a guest," he cautioned. "Edward, where's Bella?"

"She's up visiting with Alice." He closed the book, putting it aside. "She brought lasagna. I have to heat it up, though."

"Oh, what a sweet thing for her to do," Esme smiled warmly. "And we have all this pizza as well. She'll be joining us for dinner, won't she?" Esme draped her coat over an armchair in the corner.

"I asked her to stay," Edward took dinner plates out of one of the cabinets and placed them around the large rectangular kitchen table.

"Oh good. She's such a joy to be around," Emmett rolled his eyes.

Carlisle glared at him. "Knock it off, I said," Carlisle's tone was firm. Emmett shrunk from the glare, turning away.

"How's Rose?" Edward inquired as he folded paper napkins and set them around the plates.

"She's pretty good, all things considered," Carlisle sighed. "She should be home by the end of the week, but she's probably going to be needing more surgery on her arm, I'm afraid."

"Oh, stop lying," Emmett spat at him. "You know the both of you and your precious little pretty boy here are just thrilled she's out of commission indefinitely." He waved his hand in Edward's direction.

"I'll not say it again, Emmett," Carlisle's jaw was stiff. "Knock. It. Off."

"Whatever." Emmett opened a couple of pizza boxes and, finding the one he wanted, slid it off the counter. "This one's mine. I'll be in my room. I have no need to eat with the delightful Bella Swan." He stormed out of the kitchen, the others hearing his heavy foot falls on the stairs and finally, his bedroom door slamming shut.

Edward stood, expressionless. "I'm guessing that was the pineapple and ham pizza?"

"Who else eats that monstrosity?" Carlisle shook his head.

"Darling," Esme brushed the messed copper hair that hung over Edward's forehead away from his face. "Be a dear and go up and get Bella and Alice. Your father will help Jasper down."

"Ok, Mom," he nodded and made his way up to Alice's room.

He approached Alice's door quietly, listening before knocking. He could hear the two girls talking, and, as he suspected, they were talking about him. He knew right then and there that he would kill Alice dead if she told Bella anything that he'd not worked up the courage to share with her yet. Kill her as sure as he was standing there in front of her door. At least, once he was convicted of her murder, there would be a good reason for Bella to flee from the monster that he was. A reason he could explain, at least. He leaned closer to the door, concentrating on listening to their muffled tones.

"You're just going to have to trust me on this, Bella," he heard Alice saying. Trust her on what?

"I know you're right, Alice. And I'm sorry for trying to get you to tell me why he's like that," Bella sighed. So, Bella had been pumping Alice for information. How much had Alice revealed?

"Oh, it's ok, Bella. I can understand your frustration. What you and Edward have is very special. And it's eternal. Trust me on that too." Edward smiled. Alice. Always the know it all. Like a little pink, feathery Magic 8 Ball. It really burned him that she was usually right, too. "He has to work some of his issues out first. Once he's ready, once he's comfortable, he will tell you…" Her voice trailed off into a mumble. Damn! What were they saying? He leaned closer so that his ear was against Alice's door.

"Edward?" Edward turned around wildly at the sound of Carlisle's voice. He stood there, guiltily looking at his father. "You weren't eavesdropping there, were you, son?"

He felt the color rising in his face. He couldn't lie. His father had caught him red handed. "Yes, sir," he whispered as he looked at the floor.

"You…you're kidding, right?" Edward looked at the humored expression on his father's face. "You were actually listening at the door to see what they were saying?"

If the ground had opened up and swallowed him whole, Edward would have been happy at that moment, because, a second later, Alice's bedroom door swung open wide, and Bella Swan stood there, hand on her curvaceous hip.

"Edward?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Hey. Hey, baby," he dug his hands deeply into the front pockets of his jeans. Caught red handed.

"Don't you hey baby me, Edward Cullen," her voice was teasing. "You were listening at the door." She smirked. "You might as well admit it. Dr. Cullen caught you."

Edward looked to his father, who raised his eyebrows and smiled slightly. He shrugged. "I…I was listening. I'm sorry Bella."

"Hey, what about me? You invaded my privacy too, ya know!" Alice yelled from the bed. "And come help me downstairs! I'm starving!"

**~*~*~*~*~***

Edward plodded up the stairs to the third floor with heavy, tired foot steps. It had been a long evening and he'd made his parents go up to their suite to relax, opting to take care of the kitchen for them, knowing how hard the last few days had been on both of them, his mother in particular. Dinner went well until Emmett came back down, determined to disrupt the peaceful meal. Carlisle had done his best to defuse the situation, but Emmett seemed hell bent on humiliating Edward in front of Bella.

He had walked her out to her truck after she helped him clean up the mess from their pizza dinner, having urged him to save the lasagna for the following night.

"Bella, I'm sorry about Emmett…" his voice had trailed off, not really knowing what to say as he looked down at his feet. Emmett's veiled comments to her about watching out for "Eddie", how "Eddie" was nothing but a mama's boy who would eventually hurt her like he'd hurt others in the past had confused her and embarrassed Edward. He worried how soon it would be before Bella began questioning and asking exactly what Emmett had meant by what he said. Emmett's callous and harsh words toward Edward had infuriated the always gentlemanly Carlisle to the point where he physically removed Emmett from the kitchen. Slender Carlisle, able to take down the big bear that was Emmett. Who would have thought?

"It's ok, Edward," her tiny hand moved to cup his stubbled cheek. "I know you'll tell me everything in your own time," she sighed. She didn't understand what Emmett had been ranting about, but she knew it had to have something to do with the issues Edward had spoken about working out. She wanted to know exactly what Emmett had meant by what he said, but she loved Edward. Accepted him, warts and all. Respected his wishes. He would tell her when he was ready.

"I will?" Edward didn't sound as sure as Bella did. "How can you be so certain?"

"Alice said you would," she smiled. "Alice also told me she's never wrong."

"Alice is a nosey little know it all," he smirked.

"And you love that nosey little know it all," she stood on her toes and planted a soft, chaste kiss on his lips. "Go get some sleep. You look like hell."

"I love you, too," he laughed as she got into her truck. "Drive careful and call me when you get in, ok?"

"I will!" She slammed the door and the truck roared to life loudly. Waving, she pulled the truck out of the Cullen driveway.

Edward had finished up a few things in the kitchen before heading up to bed. He was exhausted and for the first time in a long time, wished he had a little something to take the edge off.

The third floor landing was bathed in the soft light that escaped from the open door of his parent's bedroom suite.

"Edward?" Carlisle beckoned him. He sighed, turning and dragging his tired body and soul over to the doorway where Carlisle stood.

"Dad? Is everything ok?"

"It's fine, son. Come on in for a minute. Mom and I want to talk to you." Carlisle stepped aside as Edward entered the bedroom.

"Sweetheart," Esme walked out of the bathroom tying her soft pink silk robe closed. Edward went to her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Mom," he sighed as her arms came up around his back.

"Sit down, Edward," Carlisle motioned toward the bed. Edward kept his arm around his mother's shoulder as they moved to the edge of the bed, sitting.

"What's the matter, Dad?" Edward looked at his father nervously. He couldn't understand what was going on. Things had been going so well with his parents, he couldn't imagine having done anything to displease them or to deserve a chastisement. He sat straight up, nervously holding onto his mother's slender hand tightly.

"Relax, Edward. Nothing's the matter," Carlisle sat down on the bed next to him. "We just wanted to talk to you, to thank you."

"Thank me? For what?" Edward looked at his father, perplexed.

"Thank you for all that you've been doing," Carlisle put his hand on Edward's shoulder. "I know you took the week off work to help around here, and we are very grateful. Just like tonight, you cleaned up the kitchen for your mother."

"You are a sweet, thoughtful boy, Edward," Esme leaned forward, kissing Edward's temple. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His mother's touch. "Thank you, baby."

"I want to help, Dad," Edward shook his head. "I mean, I know if things were otherwise, Alice would help."

"But the rest wouldn't," Carlisle shook his head. "I think our situation completely personifies the old saying 'no good deed goes unpunished.'"

"Your heart is in the right place, Dad," Edward looked at his father's sad face. "And, it's not all bad. Alice loves you. And me, I…I love you too." He looked down.

Carlisle pulled his son into an embrace. "I love you too, Edward. You are a good boy. I can't apologize enough for the last two years."

"It's ok, Dad," Edward felt his eyes water up at his father's words. "It's all better now. And, if nothing else positive comes from this, I think Jasper and I, maybe, will have a better relationship. Maybe."

"You think so, sweetie?" Esme brushed the copper hair from his eyes.

Edward nodded. "Yeah, before you guys came home, I went to his room to check on him. He had just woken up and we talked a little."

"What did you talk about?" Esme stroked his hair and his head naturally fell to his mother's shoulder. This was home. He closed his eyes, reveling in her gentle, soothing touch.

"He thanked me for taking care of Alice," he whispered. "As if there would ever be any question that I'd take care of Alice."

"Well, that seems like a very positive step in the right direction," Esme smiled.

"It is a very good sign, son," Carlisle agreed. "Perhaps this whole episode has made Jasper see things a little more clearly."

"Maybe," his voice was soft. Edward kept his eyes closed as Esme ran her fingers through his tousled russet hair. He felt safe in his mother's arms.

"Edward?" Carlisle's voice brought him back.

"Hmm?" He opened his eyes, sitting up to see his mother smiling at him.

"I think you better get to bed, sweetie. You were dozing off," Esme softly touched her lips to his forehead.

"Oh…uh…sorry…" his voice trailed off as he looked at Carlisle's amused face. "I'll…uh…I'll go to my room now," he stammered, nervously getting up from his spot on the bed between his parents. "Good night, Dad," he leaned forward and hugged Carlisle, surprising the older man.

"One more thing, Edward, before you go to bed," Carlisle stood.

"What's that, Dad?"

"Your mother and I would like you to invite Bella and her father over for Thanksgiving dinner."

"You want…you want to have other people over here?" His eyes widened with horror.

"If we didn't want the Swan's here, Edward, we wouldn't be asking you to invite them," Esme's voice was soft.

"But…Rose," his voice was a whisper.

"Well, Rose should be fairly neutralized, what with the wired jaw and all," Carlisle tried to assuage his fears.

"She'll still be wired by then?"

"Most likely. And even if she's not, who cares? Edward, your mother and I have talked at length about this," he sighed. "We are just tired of it. Of the nonsense. We're tired of living like this, living in fear. This is our home, our family. Our life. If she and Emmett can't respect us, well, then we have no room here for either of them." Carlisle's voice was filled with resolve.

Edward looked at his mother, forehead creased with worry. "Mom?"

"Ask her, honey," her eyes implored him.

He locked eyes with his mother, green eyes burning into bright blue, his brimming with tears. She smiled and nodded at him reassuringly. Taking a deep breath, he nodded and stood with his head held high before moving toward the door and the sleep he knew would now be elusive.

"Good night, Dad."

"Good night, son," Carlisle brought his arms around Edward's back once more.

Breaking the embrace and smiling slightly at his father, he turned to his mother. "Night, Mom," he sighed, hugging her tightly before kissing her on the cheek.

"Good night, my sweet, sweet Edward," she whispered as her arms wrapped around him tightly. "I love you, my angel."

"I love you too, Mom."

**~*~*~*~*~*~***

"So…what do you know about the Cullen's Charlie?"

"Huh?" The sound of her voice took him by surprise, breaking him from the spell that SportCenter cast on him.

"The Cullen's? Edward's family?" She walked across the living room and flopped down on the sofa next to his big comfy chair.

"Carlisle is a doctor, and a damn fine one. I know Esme has dabbled in interior design, but I don't think she's actually worked at it since they moved to Forks." He stared at the flat screen tv mounted on the wall across from him.

"You're doing that on purpose," she sighed.

"Doing what? I'm watching something here, Bells."

"You're avoiding the question, Charlie," she twisted a lock of hair between her fingers.

Charlie sighed. "What is it you want to know?"

"Is there," she leaned forward, "some sort of deep, dark family secret?"

"All families have deep, dark secrets, Bella," he laughed.

"You know what I mean."

He looked at her. "Shouldn't you be asking Edward this question?"

"He won't tell me," she folded her arms over her chest defensively.

"Perhaps that's for a reason. Perhaps it's not any of your business?" He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Edward is my business," she countered. "Everything about him is my business. He's my boyfriend. I love him."

"There's that word again," he shook his head. "You seem pretty sure that you love him. But, how sure are you about how he feels?"

"I have never questioned Edward's feelings for me, Charlie," she whispered.

"Then there shouldn't be any reason why he won't tell you the deep, dark secrets of the Cullen family."

"He's told me some stuff," she frowned. "He's told me the crap with Rosalie."

"Rosalie? The big blonde with the broken jaw?" Bella nodded. Charlie looked surprised. "What kind of crap are we talking about?"

"They adopted her just before they moved from Chicago to Seattle," she sighed as she recounted the story that Edward had told her.

Charlie pursed his lips together. "She sounds like quite a ballsy piece of work, there," he mused.

"Yeah. I mean, what the hell? How can you do shit like that to these people who were nice enough to take you in permanently?" She shook her head. "Edward thinks it's because she wants to be the favorite and thinks Edward is her competition."

"Maybe she's jealous that Edward has balls and she doesn't," he snickered at his own joke.

"Not funny, Charlie," she scowled. "I mean, I know there's more. I know there's something about Edward."

"What makes you say that?"

"Emmett? The big guy with the dimples?"

"Yeah, I've encountered that wall of humanity before," Charlie rolled his eyes.

"Well, he's been really out of control since the accident. Really going at it with Carlisle, you know? He ate a pizza in his room tonight, but then, while we were eating in the kitchen, he came down and just started ranting at me about Edward." Her eyebrows furrowed together.

"Why would he rant at you about Edward?" Charlie picked up the remote and muted the tv.

"See, that's what I don't understand," she rubbed her chin as she thought. "He kept calling him Eddie. Eddie this, Eddie that."

"He's his brother and he doesn't know Edward hates being called Eddie?" Charlie snorted. "Hell, I'm just his girlfriends' father and I know that. Why else would I call him Eddie?"

"No he does know it. He was just trying to get Edward angry," her lips puckered at the memory. "Like he was trying to provoke Edward, you know? He kept saying to me how Edward would hurt me like the others."

"Maybe he's a bad breaker upper?"

"A…a what?" She stared at her father in disbelief.

"You know. A bad breaker upper. He doesn't break up with girls well."

"Who _does_ break up with someone well, Charlie?"

"Well, I mean, there's a nice way to do it, and a not so nice way. Maybe he's cheated in the past," he shrugged his shoulders. "I can say I've never heard anything bad about him, aside from the whole "weird Cullen" thing." Charlie made air quotes with his index fingers. "Like I've said. That kid is a horse. Works like mad at the Thriftway and somehow manages to maintain an A average at school."

"So, you've never heard anything bad about him at all? Because, I gotta tell you, Charlie," she took a deep breath. "You seem to know a hell of a lot about him."

"Would I let him grope my only daughter on my front porch if I had?" The tips of his mustache curled up as he smiled at her. "And, I am the chief of Police, Bella. It's my job to have my finger on the town's pulse. Or, just the pulse of whomever's sucking face with my daughter."

"Oh," she looked down at her bare feet, feeling the color rise in her cheeks as she curled her legs up under her. "I guess I hadn't thought of that." She was dressed for bed, in a pair of old leggings and a big, faded long sleeved tshirt with what used to be Hello Kitty on it.

"My suggestion, Bells? If you really want to know, if it's going to bother you like I know it is? Ask him."

"I…I don't want to push him. He told me tonight that we can't…uh…move our relationship to the next level," she eyed her father who didn't flinch at all cautiously. "Not until he works out some issues he's got. I think those issues were what Emmett was yelping about."

"Bells," Charlie sighed. "Edward's a rare boy. I'm your father and I'm telling you he's a keeper," his voice was sincere. "Most boys would want to jump your bones on the first date if you'd let them. Edward's been, well, the kid's been a gentleman. He was raised right. At least he's thoughtful about things. Ask him."

"Thanks, Charlie," she got up from her spot on the sofa and leaned over him, pecking him on the cheek. "I'm going to bed now. Night."

"Night, Bells." He picked the remote back up. "Oh, and Bells?"

"Yeah, Charlie?" She paused in the doorway and turned around.

"If he hurts you? I won't hesitate to rip his balls off and shove them down his throat until he chokes." Charlie's face wore an amiable smile. "Pleasant dreams, sweetie."

"Uh…yeah." She turned stiffly and ran up the stairs to her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

She turned the little lamp on her nightstand on, and sat on her bed, holding her head in her hands. She knew she hadn't misjudged Edward. She knew that there had to be a reasonable explanation for everything that she heard tonight, right? If Edward loved her like he said he did, he'd never hurt her. Or lie to her. But, still there was this nagging doubt. It all added up. Edward having some personal issues to deal with. Emmett making statements about how he's going to hurt her, since he's hurt before. There had to be something there.

Something hit sharply against her window and she jumped, inhaling quickly as she turned to face the window. Another sharp hit sounded against the window. Cautiously, she got up to go look. It sounded like someone tossing pebbles at the glass, but, come on. That only happened in movies, and this was her life, not a bad 1980's teen movie. She looked out, half expecting to see John Cusack standing down there, holding up a boom box with Peter Gabriel blaring from it. Nope. No John Cusack. Instead, Edward Cullen stood below her window, black hood up over his head, staring up hopefully at her.

She slid the window open and the cold night air hit her. She shivered as she stuck her head out.

"Edward Cullen," she hissed in a loud whisper. "What the fuck?"

"I had to see you, Bella," he stage whispered back. "We have to talk."

"You can't use the door like normal people?"

"And wake your dad? Bella, he's got a gun!"

"And he'll shoot your bits right off if he catches you like this, you idiot!"

"Can I come up?"

"I'll come down and let you in."

"No! I'll just climb the tree and swing in that way." He pulled himself up onto the lowest branch of the tree in front of Bella's window.

"Oh my God, you _are_ an idiot," she groaned as she watched him work his way up the dark tree.

"Something I didn't tell you," he smiled as he reached and grabbed onto her window sill, pulling himself over and into her bedroom. "I used to run track and play baseball, so I'm pretty athletic." He smiled, satisfied with himself as he pulled the dark hood from his head..

Bella stood staring at him in wonder, her arms wrapped around her chest, protecting her from the cold air that swirled in around him. "Shut the window before I freeze to death, Edward," she whispered. "And keep quiet. If Charlie finds you in here there won't be any questions of when we do it, because you won't have anything to do it with!" He stuck a long tongue out at her and wiggled it, making her scowl at him.

"Wow, you really are in a bad mood," he looked at her as he rubbed his red hands together to warm them up.

"Sorry, I've…I've just been thinking a lot," she sighed as she took both his icy hands between hers and rubbed them, trying to warm him up. "Can I have a kiss?"

"You can always have a kiss," he stepped closer to her and grazed her lips with his.

"Even your lips are cold," she giggled. "How long have you been out there?"

"Maybe twenty minutes? I don't know. I really didn't time it. I just waited until I saw your light go on."

"Come on," she pulled him over to her bed. "Sit down and I'll pull the comforter over us to keep warm. God, your skin is so cold, Edward!"

They sat down with their backs against the headboard and pulled her comforter over them, she wrapped her arms around his waist as he pulled her into his arms, laying her against him.

"Now, what was so important it couldn't wait until tomorrow or be handled by a phone call," she smiled into his chest.

"I wanted to…I wanted to explain some of what happened tonight," his voice was very low.

"What Emmett was talking about?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I…I'm not ready to discuss everything, Bella, but I do feel I owe you an explanation of some of it. Some of why there's so much tension and friction in my family."

"You don't owe me any explanations, Edward. This all happened before we even met." She nuzzled into his chest.

"But I do. Emmett said some nasty things, Bella. I saw your face. You deserve to know everything. Like I said, I'm not ready to discuss all of it yet, but, well, I do want to explain some of it."

She let out a deep sigh. "I'm all ears, Edward."

"Ok," he took a couple of deep breaths to steady his nerves. "Well, you know how Emmett called me a mama's boy?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Well, it's not much of a lie, I'm afraid. I am a mama's boy, Bella. I love my mother very much." There was tension in his voice.

"I can understand that, Edward. And I think your mother feels the same way about you."

"She saved me, Bella," he'd said this to her before. "We saved each other. And, well, Rose always hated how close I was with her. But, Esme's had me since I was seven. She raised me, really. I mean, we got Alice when she was nine, but Rose was eleven. She had spent something like six years in the foster care system. She was very street smart." He stopped, swallowing hard.

"She wasn't like you and Alice."

"Alice was abandoned as a baby. We don't even know her real birthday, Bella."

"What?" She looked up at him, shocked.

He nodded. "Yep. She was left on the doorstep of a Catholic Charities office. No note, nothing. Just her wrapped in an Alice in Wonderland blanket."

"So they named her Alice," Bella breathed.

"They searched for something, anything about her. It was even on the evening news, how the police were looking for her parents or anyone with information about the baby, but no one ever came forward." He paused, shifting his position on the bed. "There were plenty of people who wanted to adopt her, but Alice was a sickly child, and she ended up in the foster care system instead."

"No one wanted a sick baby," her voice was mournful.

"Exactly. But once Esme and Carlisle got her, she just flourished. And we became best friends."

"She loves you, you know."

He nodded again. "And I love her. We really are brother and sister, you know?"

"I know," she smiled.

"Anyway, Rose always hated how close we were, how close we were with Carlisle and Esme. Hated it and tried to destroy it." His body began to tense, and she knew he was entering a part of his story he wasn't comfortable with.

"It's ok, Edward," she looked up at him with big, brown eyes. "You don't have to go on if you don't want to."

"No. I have to tell you. I have to tell you everything, other wise you won't really know me. Won't know what you're getting into." His green eyes burned into hers.

"If you insist," she sighed and returned her head to its position on his chest.

"When I first went to live with Carlisle and Esme, when I was seven, I…I had trouble sleeping at night."

"That's understandable. It was all new to you, and you were so young."

"The first night, they heard me crying and came into my room. They spent that night in the neat little boy's bedroom they had so lovingly fixed up for me. It was airplane themed," he smiled at the memory. "Had wallpaper up on the walls with these red and blue bi-planes on it. You know, those old fashioned ones with the two wings?" She nodded. "The comforter matched the walls and there were these little model planes hanging from the ceiling. I remember thinking how cool of a room it was. Until the night. I was scared and alone. And my grandfather wasn't there."

"So they came to comfort you?"

He took a breath. "Yep. Carlisle spent the night in the rocking chair in the corner. Esme spent the night sitting up on my bed, kind of like we are now, with me in her arms. She just ran her fingers through my hair and hummed to me, and I stopped crying and finally fell asleep."

"Oh, Edward, that's such a beautiful story. They care so much about you." She felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"It was like that every night after that. Either she would come into my room and hold me while I slept, or I'd go into their room and curl up between them in their great big bed," he pulled her tighter. "I couldn't sleep without her."

"Lots of kids are like that, Edward," she ran her hand down his stomach lightly. "You went through something very traumatic, and I think it's beautiful that you and your mom have such a great relationship."

"Even if I had to have my mother rock me to sleep up until two years ago?"

"Two years ago? You were, what? Fifteen?" She lifted her head and looked at him in surprise. He nodded.

She smiled. "I don't see anything wrong with it, Edward. You and your mom, it's, well, it's special. Anyone can see that." She laid her head back down, listening to his steady heartbeat.

"Anyone but Rose," he sighed.

"What did she do?" Bella felt her breathing quicken.

"My parents had the house here built while we were living in Seattle. My mom, well, she's got a degree in Architecture and had a small interior design firm in Seattle. She designed our house."

"It's very beautiful, Edward." She breathed in his scent deeply. He smelled like soap…lemon verbena, she thought.

"It is," he nodded in agreement. "None of us saw it until we moved in. That's when they fireworks really started."

"Why's that?"

"Because the second floor had four bedrooms and two bathrooms. Each bathroom is attached to two bedrooms."

"Kind of like on the Brady Bunch? The way there was a bathroom between the girls and boys rooms?"

"Exactly like the Brady Bunch," he let out a nervous laugh and continued. "The third floor had a master suite and a junior suite. While the rest of them had a connected room and shared a bathroom, I got the junior suite with a bathroom all to myself. Mom designed it specifically for me. That was all the ammunition that Rose needed to get Emmett and Jasper to agree that Mom was playing favorites."

"But, Edward…" her voice trailed off.

"I know, Bella. It was obvious that I was the favorite. Dad tried to explain it that since I was technically their 'oldest', I got the bigger room," he barked out a laugh. "But it was very obvious that I was their favorite, and it made life very difficult and uncomfortable for me."

"What about Alice?"

"Alice's bedroom was decorated to her specifications, and you know Alice," he smiled when he spoke of his sister. "She was happy. But this was happening around the time she and Jasper were discovering each other, so she kind of remained neutral, you know?"

"I guess."

"I don't blame her. Alice knew from the beginning that if there was a number one, it was me. Not that she ever wanted for anything or ever got less love than me. My parents were always fair, even with Rose and Emmett and Jasper. It was just that little something extra that you can't quite put a finger on, you know?"

"Yeah, I do. I lost that little something extra when my mom met Phil." He tightened his arms around her. "But now I have you, so I'm not missing it anymore," she kissed his chest lightly and she felt the tremble go through him. "So, go on," she trailed her fingertips up and down his stomach.

"When Rose saw that all the fuss she created over my being the favorite child didn't change her standing in the family in anyway, other than to split us all into two factions, she had to find another way to take me down. So, she accused my mother and I of, well, let's just call it inappropriate behavior." His heart began to beat faster as his body tensed further.

"What?!" Bella sat bolt upright.

"She tried to say that I was…uh…having…umm…" he stammered nervously.

"She tried to say you were having sex with your mother! With Mrs. Cullen!" Her hand shot up to her mouth, which hung open in shock. "Oh my God! Edward! That's horrible," she gasped.

Edward crawled to his knees, kneeling in front of her. "I wasn't Bella. I swear to you! It wasn't anything like that! You need to believe me," His green eyes were dark with fear as he implored her to believe him. "I need you to believe me," he sighed.

"I do, Edward, I do believe you," her fingertips went up to his face, caressing his lips lightly.

"She would come tuck me in at night," he continued. "She would sit on the bed and I would lie with my head on her lap, while she would run her fingers through my hair, humming to me. I'd fall asleep and she'd leave the room and go bed. It was the same thing every night from my first night with them." He slapped at the angry tears that ran down his cheeks. "It was never anything like what Rose tried to make it sound like it was."

"Who did she tell?" Bella reached for his hands, twisting her fingers with his as she knelt to face him. "Who did she tell!" She repeated it through gritted teeth. Her anger so fierce that she was sure her face shone a bright crimson.

"Well, first, she went to Carlisle" he sighed. "She said she saw us doing stuff, but he didn't' believe her. He knew. He knew that for all those years, his wife had hummed me to sleep every night. " He took a breath, pausing to wipe the tears that still flowed. She moved his hand away and wiped the tears herself, looking at him with sympathetic eyes. "Then, after he basically told her to go fuck herself, she threatened to take it to the authorities. It was child abuse, statutory rape, she said, and Esme would surely go to jail for it," he took a shaky breath. "Carlisle was afraid. Afraid for his wife. He knew what Rose was capable of. He knew she would act like a witness and be all 'I saw the whole thing', so he told Mom to stop coming to my room. And she did." His voice was sad. "But it wasn't enough for Rose. She had to bring me down. Shortly after this all happened we went to that party, and that time, because I really didn't give him any other choice, Dad believed her."

Bella ran her fingers down his cheeks, gently brushing away his tears, before sliding them into his wayward copper hair. She looked at him with sad, adoring eyes filled with tears of their own. "My sweet, beautiful Edward," she whispered. "I hate her for what she's done to you, and to your mother." A tear rolled down her cheek. She pulled him down onto the bed, cradling him in her arms and resting his head on her chest as she ran her fingers lightly through his hair, humming gently to him.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**I know...long ass chapter. This is what happens when I have all day to play around with it LOL**

**Sooo....did ya like it? Did you see it coming? Do you know what the chapter titles are? **

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	13. Chapter 13: Blitzkrieg Bop

**Yeah! The upload thingy finally worked and I didn't have to backdoor it in! Go me! :D**

**Thanks to everyone who's stuck with this little story of mine. I hope you are enjoying it. This chapter was a little difficult to write for some reason and it took me a while. And look at how long it turned out! I hope you think it was worth the wait.**

**Time for business: I do not own Twilight, it's characters, or it's situations. Those all belong to Stephenie Meyers. But I can dream, can't I?**

**Please enjoy...**

**Chapter 13: Blitzkrieg Bop**

Bella moved through the kitchen, self consciously, pouring herself a cup of coffee and drinking it black as she leaned against the counter. Charlie was still home, sitting at the kitchen table in his uniform, eyes alternating between reading the newspaper and glancing up at her as he lingered over his morning coffee…something he never did.

He was making her nervous.

"So, Bells," he broke the nervous silence. "Did you sleep well last night after our talk?"

"Yeah," she avoided eye contact with him, opting to turn and keep her back to him while she pretended to fuss at the counter, taking the sponge from the sink to wipe up an imaginary coffee spill. "I mean, it took me a little time to relax enough. My mind was kind of keyed up from our conversation, you know, but once I fell asleep, I slept straight through the night." She tossed the sponge back into the sink, running the water and rinsing it out.

"That's good," she could hear him shifting in his chair. "Did Edward sleep as well as you did?"

She whipped around, gasping, and stared at him with eyes as big as saucers. How had he known?

"Oh, come on. I heard the two of you talking, Bells." He took a sip of his coffee as she moved to the table with her mug, pulling out a chair and quietly flopping down on it.

"You eaves dropped at my door?" She looked at him hard.

"I came up to say goodnight, and I heard him talking. You know, the walls of this old house aren't all that thick. Not to mention that I'm both a father and a cop, Bells," he shrugged and then tapped a finger to his temple. "Sixth sense and all that."

"I'm sorry, Charlie," she looked down at her hands, wrapped around the warm mug of coffee sitting in front of her. "I just…I just couldn't send him home. Not in the state he was in after confessing everything like that. I just didn't' have the heart after what he told me." She rested her elbows on the table, leaning her chin in her hands. "He was so sad. You didn't see his face. It still hurts him."

"I know, Bells. I just wish you wouldn't be so sneaky about it, though," Charlie's voice was filled with understanding.

"What was I going to do? Come downstairs and say 'Hey, Charlie, Edward just climbed in my window. He's really sad and upset and he can't sleep. So can my boyfriend spend the night in my room? In my bed? Pretty please?'" She shook her head.

"Bella," Charlie's voice was soft as he looked at her. "I heard just about everything that boy said to you. You know, on the outside, the Cullen's look like the perfect family, even with Edward being the 'weird' one. They look like, I don't know, some sort of Christmas ad for Ralph Lauren or something, you know?" He shook his head. "But, when you look closer, you see that it's all nothing but a facad. It's all fake. Smoke and mirrors. Makes me feel sorry for Carlisle and Esme. They are good people. And I feel bad for your Edward. He's a good kid, Bells."

"Rose is a bitch. I hate her for what she's done to him." She felt her anger rising again.

"She's definitely a piece of work, that one. Had to be that way to survive the foster care game, I guess. I mean, it couldn't have been easy for her." He drained his cup of the last of his coffee.

"But Doctor and Mrs. Cullen aren't like that," Bella protested. "They are kind and loving. Esme…Esme is a born mother. And Carlisle is the gentlest person I've ever met."

"I agree, Bells. Something as trivial as a bedroom shouldn't cause such issues," he shifted in his chair as he sighed "But, we don't know Rose's frame of mind, or what sort of abuse she may have suffered in her life. Trauma. I'm not making any excuses for what she's done to Edward or Esme, but, I mean, do you or any of the Cullen's outside of Esme and Carlisle really know her story? Does Edward? And for that matter, do Carlisle and Esme know what really happened to that girl while she was in foster care?"

"No. I wouldn't know," she sniffed. "She wouldn't ever lower herself to talk to _Edward's_ girlfriend," she rolled her eyes. "As for Dr. Cullen and Esme…" her voice trailed off. "I don't know. I never really thought of it that way."

"You only think about how this all affects Edward, which I can completely understand," Charlie's voice was soft. "But, there has to be a story behind her actions, Bella. You have to understand that."

She sighed. "I see your point, Charlie. But I still want to hurt her for what she's done to Edward."

"I understand, but, well, to be brutally frank, it's not your battle to fight, Bells. It's Edward's," he stood up, bringing his coffee cup to the sink and rinsing it out.

"I wish there were something I could do for him," she sighed. "To make it easier for him."

"There is, and you're doing it. Just be there for him. Listen to him. And, on occasion, hold him while he sleeps. Only, tell him next time to use the door and don't go making a habit of it, ok?" He smiled at her. "Have a good day, Bells."

"Thanks, Charlie," she stood up and hugged her father. "Oh, wait. This morning Edward mentioned that his mom and dad invited us to spend Thanksgiving with them," she bit her bottom lip, hoping her father would accept the Cullen's invitation and she wouldn't be forced to spend Thanksgiving in La Push with the Blacks, like Charlie usually did. Especially now that Jacob had taken to drinking so much lately. The last time she'd gone down to visit with Charlie, she spent the entire time fending off the many hands he seemed to grow in his inebriated state.

Charlie smiled at her. "Really?"

"Yeah, really," she nodded.

"That'd be pretty cool," Charlie's smile gave way to a big grin. "Edward's told me that Carlisle's got a flat screen HDTV twice the size of mine!"

Bella rolled her eyes at her old man. "Oh God, can you ever think of something that's not sports?"

"I think of something that's not sports all the time, Bells," his grin softened. "I think of you. Love ya, Bells," he leaned forward and kissed her forehead gently.

"I love you too, Charlie Swan," she giggled. "And do I tell Edward we accept?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you can't wait to watch football on Carlisle's tv," she shook her head as she watched her father put his hat on his head, big grin on his face.

"I think you think right, Bells. You better get ready for school. Just…be safe, Bells. Because, I really do like Edward and it would be a shame if I had to rip his balls off, ok?" He smiled and pecked her on the forehead one more time before heading out of the house.

She watched Charlie close the door behind him before she ran up to her room to grab her messenger bag and her jacket. She felt like she was walking on air. She grabbed her keys as she breezed down the stairs and past the hallway table where she'd tossed them the night before when she got home from Edwards. Thanksgiving with the Cullens! A real Thanksgiving! Not the kind she had the last two years with her mother and Phil, spent at Phil's puritanical parents house. She shuddered at the thought. Phil's mother, all buttoned up with that stern Pilgrim like expression on her face, passing judgment on Bella based solely on her clothing and not on the person she really was. And then there was Phil's demanding father, calling his wife "woman" or "wife", all while expecting to be waited on hand and foot by her, like he was some sort of royalty.

She frowned. She hated that her mother had been following in the footsteps she'd learned on those visits to Phil's family. No woman was subservient to any man. She'd learned that from Renee while growing up. Yet, there was her mother, waiting on Phil hand and foot, demanding that Bella to stop dressing provocatively and take her piercings out, all with the sole purpose of making Phil happy.

Renee referred to Phil as "old fashioned". Bella preferred the term "douche bag".

She rolled her eyes as she started her truck. She couldn't imagine how her mother would have reacted to Edward sneaking into her room last night, let alone spending the night there secretly. The old Renee would probably have just told her to be careful, and make sure she took precautions, even though they hadn't done anything. The new Renee? Well, Bella was certain at the very least there would have been a long lecture from Phil, along with an indefinite grounding.

And nothing had happened Far from it. Edward had cried quietly while she had held him, soothing him with a soft lullaby she hummed as she ran her hand rhythmically through his hair. He'd fallen into a troubled slumber a short time later, but she continued to hum to him as she caressed his copper tresses until she, too, fell off to sleep.

Charlie was a lot cooler about it than she could have ever hoped for him to be. It was a funny thing about Charlie. She hadn't spent much time with him growing up, and yet, after only a few days living in Forks with him, she had forged a much stronger bond with him than she had with her mother after all the years she lived with her. Charlie understood her. Maybe she was more like him than she had thought. How many fathers with guns would let their teenage daughter's boyfriend spend the night in her bedroom without blowing the boy's nuts clean off? Charlie was a fair minded man who, she realized, believed what she told him, and, even in the event that he didn't quite believe the story, he believed in giving the benefit of the doubt.

When she arrived at school, she pulled the red truck into a parking spot a few spaces down from where Edward's shiny silver Volvo was parked. Edward was sitting behind the wheel of the car, head resting on the steering wheel. He looked like he was asleep. At least, she hoped he was asleep.

She got out of the car and slung her messenger bag over her shoulder as she made her way over to the Volvo, heart pounding.

"Edward?" She tapped on the glass lightly.

Edward jumped inside the vehicle and looked around confused. He smiled slightly when he saw her standing by his door.

"Hey," he opened the door and got out, leaning down to place a light kiss on her lips.

"Sorry, I must have dozed off for a minute," he sighed as he opened the back door to get his backpack out. He clicked the remote and the Volvo locked with an electronic squeel.

"Are you feeling any better," she asked as they walked slowly up the path toward the buildings, toward their first classes of the day.

"A little, thanks to you," he smiled. "I'm just really tired, that's all."

"Well, you were pretty upset last night. That had to be very draining," she sighed quietly as he reached for her hand, twisting their fingers together.

"It was," he shook his head. "As was the reaming I took from my dad this morning when he caught me sneaking in."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, but once I got to explain, well, he understood, I guess," he shrugged his shoulders as they stopped walking in front of the building where Bella's first class was.

"Yeah, well, Charlie understood too," she smirked.

"You told him?" Edward's eyebrows shot up in surprise as his eyes widened.

"Didn't have to," she shook her head. "He heard us. He heard what you told me."

Edward sucked a deep breath in. "Did he know I slept there?" Edward felt his stomach flip. As if his life didn't suck already. All he needed was for Chief Swan to come after him with his gun, and things would be complete.

"Yeah, he did," she rolled her eyes. "Said he had a 'sixth sense'," she cocked an eyebrow up as she mimicked the same finger to temple motion that her father had made earlier in the morning.

"Oh, God, I'm dead," Edward swallowed hard.

"No you aren't, silly," she pulled him closer to her by the lapels of his leather jacket. "He said he understood completely that you needed to be with me. Charlie might be the chief of police," she stood up on her toes. "But he's totally cool." Her warm lips brushed his and she felt him exhale at their connection.

"Thank you," he whispered, his emerald eyes blazing into hers. "I can't tell you how much last night meant to me."

"And I can't tell you how much it meant to me that you opened up to me, Edward," she wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"I love you," he kissed the top of her head lightly.

"And I love you too, Mr. Cullen. Now, I suggest you get to class."

They looked up, noticing the smirk on Mr. Banner's face.

"Yes, Mr. Banner," Edward sighed, pulling away from Bella reluctantly. "See you at lunch."

"Lunch," she moaned, watching him as he slowly turned and walked away, heading to his first class.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Edward flicked his wrist quickly and the box sliced open with deadly precision. Things were starting to get back to normal for most of the Cullen's a week after the dreadful accident. He was thankfully back at work. Alice and Jasper were back at school as the walking wounded. And, much to Alice's pure, unadulterated glee, she was suddenly the most popular girl on campus. Rose was home, and, mercifully, her jaw was still wired shut. She was none too happy having to do her schoolwork silently at home while still experiencing a great deal of discomfort from the accident and subsequent surgery she had undergone. She had to do it, though, in order to be able to graduate on schedule with Emmett. The rest of the family, however, wasn't nearly as miserable as she was, since she no longer had the ability to make anyone but herself miserable. For the time being, anyway. They knew that would all change once the jaw was fully functional again.

Would it make him a bad person if he prayed that her jaw never fully functioned again? He pulled a can of creamed corn out of what remained of the box, flipping it from one hand to the other, and stacking it neatly on the shelf, label out.

"I heard they had some hot stock boys here, but I had to see it with my own eyes," a familiar voice flirted.

A lopsided grin greeted her as he turned around, emerald eyes blazing. "Hey, lady," he pulled another can from the box, flipping it with great confidence from one hand to the other. "What brings you to the Thriftway?"

"Hunger," she laughed. She took him in. Black jeans, white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. The thin black tie he wore hung loosely around the neck of the shirt, which had the top two buttons undone so that she could see a whisper of chest hair peeping out. His name tag, proclaiming him "", was pinned to the shirt pocket and flopped up and down as he tossed the cans from hand to hand.

"What's for dinner tonight?" He stacked the cans as he spoke to her.

"I thought I'd make some grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup," she smiled. "You in?"

"I wish. I can't tonight. I have a report on _To Kill a Mockingbird_ due tomorrow and I haven't even finished reading it yet," his lopsided grin turned into a scowl.

"That's a great book," she sighed. She had been hoping that she would get to spend more time with him once Rose was home from the hospital, but so far, it hadn't panned out that way.

"Rain check?"

"Sure. I'm making quiche and salad tomorrow night, so maybe you can come over for that?" She waved her hand at the cart, bringing Edward's attention to the frozen pie crust and necessary ingredients for a spinach quiche.

"I wouldn't miss it," he smiled as he licked his lips seductively. "Hey, I'm not scheduled to work on Friday night. Want to head into Port Angeles for a movie and some Chinese?"

"Sounds like a plan, Ed Ward," she giggled as she said his name.

He rolled his eyes. "Can you believe people come up to me and call me Mr. Ward? I mean, it's a town of what? Three thousand people? And they don't know I'm a Cullen?"

"I believe it," she laughed. "Most people aren't very bright. How come I never noticed it before?"

"Because you couldn't take your eyes off my gorgeous face or my hot ass?" He crossed his eyes and stuck his tongue out at her as he wiggled his hips.

"Now you're just being silly," she shook her head as she laughed. But she knew he was right. She could never take her eyes off his beautiful face. His strong, stubble covered jaw. The soft, full lips she wanted to be kissing right that instant. Those amazing green marble eyes that seemed to look directly into her soul. The wild, russet hair that had a mind of it's own. Edward, whether he realized it or not, was beautiful.

He broke down the now empty corn box and sliced open another box. "What time should I be there for dinner tomorrow?"

She thought for a minute. "Charlie should be home by 6:30, so come by then."

"Should I use the front door or the bedroom window?" His green eyes shone with a mischievous smile.

"Smart ass," she smirked. "Charlie would cut your thing off just because if you did that."

"I'll be sure to use the front door then," he laughed. "I'll ring the doorbell and I'll even wipe my feet before crossing the threshold."

She smiled at him with a wide grin before saying, "Well, I better let you get back to work," she sighed, not wanting to leave him.

"Yeah, I have a lot of stocking to do," he frowned as he looked at the loaded hand truck. "I'll see you at school tomorrow, ok?"

"Tomorrow," she nodded before pushing her cart past him.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?" She turned and he caught her cheek in his elegant hand, his soft, warm lips on hers.

"Night," he whispered.

"Night, Ed. Ward," she smiled at him before forcing herself to push her cart away.

Bella wandered around the vegetables, picking up some zucchini, wondering what she could make with them that Charlie would actually eat, when she heard her name.

"Bella!"

She turned around and before she saw it coming, became engulfed within large, warm arms.

"Jacob! What are you doing here?" She pushed out of his embrace quickly.

"What? I can't buy food?" A warm smile spread across his bronze face. "It's so good to see you! I never get to see you anymore!"

Bella had known Jacob Black her entire life. His father was Charlie's best friend. She hadn't seen much of Jacob since moving back to Forks, since he lived out on the La Push reservation. She just never seemed to get out there much, even with Charlie. She knew the reason for her lack of Jacob time was stocking shelves in the canned vegetable aisle.

"Yeah, I'm pretty busy with school," she twisted her hair around her finger nervously, avoiding eye contact with Jacob. When he was like this, he was the most friendly, sweetest, albeit hugest, boy, on the planet. There was always a huge warm smile and a welcoming embrace when you saw Jacob. It had always bothered her just a little bit that she never felt more toward him than just friendship. But she knew she could never have with Jacob what she had with Edward. Sadly, it was the times that she saw him after he'd imbibed in too much of his self proclaimed "firewater" that she was more than a little thankful she'd never been involved with him in a romantic way.

"I'm sure. Junior and Senior years are hard," he frowned. "Are you planning on college?"

"Yeah, but I don't know where I want to go yet," she twisted her right leg around her left as she fidgeted, eyes darting toward the aisle where was working. "You?"

"Eh. My dad wants me to go to the University of Washington, but I dunno," he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I just want to work as a mechanic. It's what I'm good at, you know?"

"Well, you can always go to one of those technical colleges, if you want. That would make Billy happy, no?" She tried to sound upbeat.

"That's what I was thinking of doing. That way, Dad would be happy I went to, well, something, and I can do the work I like," his dark skin glowed in the florescent lighting of the grocery store.

"Well, there you go!" She tried not to sound as awkward as she felt.

"So, what's for dinner?" He peeked into her cart.

"Grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. You?"

"I'm making some…" his voice trailed off. "Well, we're men, so we eat, you know, meat." He smiled sheepishly at her, holding his hands out as he shrugged his shoulders. "I was in town and I figured to stop in here to grab some ground beef and hamburger buns for dinner."

"Oh, I would never begrudge any man his meat. I know how much you like to eat your meat." It was out before she realized it, and her hand clapped over her mouth as her eyes bugged out. "That's not what I meant, Jake!" His face held an amused expression as he watched the color rise in her cheeks. "I meant, I know men like to eat their meat. I mean…I…know you like your meat," her voice trailed off and she took a deep breath. "Oh, this isn't coming out right," she buried her face in her hands as Jake chuckled softly.

"It's ok, Bella. I know what you meant. I just really enjoyed hearing you trying to say it," the wide smile on his dark face showed his snow white teeth. She wondered how he got his teeth so impossibly white. "Hey, you and Charlie coming out to La Push for Thanksgiving?"

The sudden pink of her embarrassed cheeks faded to stark white. "Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah," Jacob nodded. "Charlie always has Thanksgiving with us."

"He does?" She swallowed hard.

"Yep. Every year. It's Dad, me, Charlie and the Clearwater's."

"Oh, um…gee, I didn't know that, Jake. Charlie hadn't mentioned it to me." She tried to think of what to say. Think, Bella, think! "Well, I'm sort of seeing this guy," she started quietly. "and, his parents kind of invited us already…"

"Hey, it's ok. I understand." Jacob's smile was still warm, but she could see the disappointment in his eyes. "I kind of figured you and Charlie would want to spend your first holiday together at home alone, to be honest."

"That had actually been my plan until Edward's parents invited us," she sighed. And that was the truth. She had tried to figure out what she was going to make for them both on Thanksgiving so that Charlie would enjoy a nice holiday meal and she could actually have something to eat. The Cullen's had made that decision for her.

"Edward? Wait…you aren't seeing that weird Cullen guy, are you? The one that works here?" Jacob's eyes widened.

"Jake," she shook her head. "He…he's not weird. He's a really nice guy," she nodded her head. "I mean, I wouldn't be dating him if he weren't."

"Does your father know which Cullen you're seeing?"

"Charlie really likes Edward," her voice grew low.

"He does? Isn't that one a delinquent?"

"No, he's not, Jake." She crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "He's a great guy." She stopped herself short of reminding Jake of his own run in's with the law in Forks.

"Ok, ok," he held his hands out in front of himself. "Don't get so defensive. I've never met the guy, but I'll take your word for it since you're so passionate about it." He looked around. "Look, I need to get home and start dinner, so I'm going to go grab my…uh…meat," he smiled slyly at her as he winked, "and go, ok?"

"Sure, Jake," she shook her head before hugging him. "Drive carefully, ok?"

"Sure, sure," Jake's muscular arms wrapped around her small back. There was a different feel to hugging Jake than there was to hugging Edward. Edward's body was tone and lithe. She was sure that once she got his shirt off she would see sculpted muscles the likes of which only Michelangelo could have carved. Jake was much more outwardly built. His biceps flexed as he hugged her, and she could feel his well developed pectorals through his shirt.

"Say hi to Billy for me," she called over her shoulder as she headed to the cashier.

"Will do," he waved his large hand as he headed down the canned vegetable aisle toward the meat cases.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

"Oh come on, Edward," she rolled her eyes. "Why can't you be normal?"

"I am normal, Bella," he giggled as she tried to pry his long fingers open from the fist they were balled up into.

"Everyone reads their fortune out loud!"

"No they don't! If you say it out loud then it doesn't come true," he argued as he laughed at her futile attempts to open up is fist.

"That's a wish, you moron, not your fortune!" She blew away a wisp of hair that had fallen into her face during their struggle. "You aren't supposed to tell what you wished for. It's different from a fortune."

"All the same, I'd rather not take any chances with this baby," he held his fist up in front of her. "This stays between me and Mr. Wong's Fortune Cookie factory," he read from the wrapper that had been on the fortune cookie.

"Everyone knows this, Edward. You keep a wish secret but you read your fortune out loud and end it with 'in bed'," she chewed on a piece of the sweet cookie. "Like this," she cleared her throat for effect as she held up the small slice of paper that had been inside the cookie. "You will discover your hidden talents…in bed. See? See how easy it is?"

"Still, I'd rather not risk it," he smirked.

"Oooo! You make me so mad, Edward Cullen! Or should I just call you Ed Ward?" She fisted her hands into little balls and banged them lightly on the table as he grinned a crooked little grin at her. "You know, that grin there, that's a Grinch grin."

"Oh, is it? I wasn't aware," he smirked.

"Yeah, it is. It's evil…like you," she growled at him. "Forget it. Just…just forget it. I don't want to know your fortune anyway. It's probably a sucky fortune. Sucky, like you." She folded her arms across her chest and bit on her lower lip, turning her face away from him.

"It's killing you, isn't it?" His green eyes danced in the dim light of the Chinese restaurant.

"What's killing me?" She didn't turn to look at him.

"That I won't tell you my fortune."

"I told you. I don't care about your shitty fortune."

"Yes you do," he giggled again.

"No, no I don't," she sniffed. "Not at all."

"Oh, yes you do," he giggled some more. She hated when he giggled. It was the single most adorable sound on the planet and she couldn't be angry with him if he was giggling.

"Edward, stop giggling! I can't be mad at you when you giggle!" She sounded exasperated, but the more he giggled, the harder it was for her not to smile at him. "Oh, just forget it," she smiled and threw her arms around his neck, planting a quick, light kiss on his soft, full lips.

He stopped giggling, and smiled. "I don't care what you say. I'm still not telling you what my fortune says."

"Oh my God! Ed Ward Cullen, you are absurd!" She rolled her eyes as he looked at the check and took a few bills out of his wallet.

He stood up and helped her on with her jacket. "Not. Gonna. Tell," he smirked as she whipped her hair around hoping to hit him in the face with it, orange stripes glinting in the dim lighting.

"You are impossible," she grumbled, walking out of the restaurant ahead of his grinning self. "And wipe that grin off your face. You look like some sort of psychotic Cheshire cat."

He opened the passenger's side door of the Volvo for her. "I'm perfectly capable of opening my own door, Edward!" Somewhere between the door of The White Lotus and the door of the silver Volvo, her mood shifted dramatically.

"Wow, you really are pissed!" He slid into the drivers seat and fastened his seat belt, glancing over at her as he did. She sat with her arms folded across her chest, looking out the side window, ignoring him. He started the car. "Bella?"

"Damn right I'm pissed," she spat out, looking at him hard. "You're my boyfriend. We aren't supposed to have any secrets, Edward!"

He knew she was right, but he also knew that there were some very deep, dark secrets lurking about. Secrets that he knew would send her screaming away from him.

"Everyone has secrets, Bella," his voice was quiet as he drove slowly toward the center of Port Angeles.

"Why, Edward? Why do we have so many secrets?"

"I don't know Bella. Why don't you tell me some of yours?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she turned her head away from him, once more looking out the side window of the Volvo.

"You don't? Like hell you don't," he tried to hold his temper. "You never told me anything about your life back in Phoenix. Not a thing. Nothing about friends or school. And especially nothing about this mysterious boyfriend you used to have there."

"Oh, really? Well, tit for tat, Edward. You won't tell me this great secret about why you won't have sex with me. Don't you think I deserve to know why?"

_Ah, the heart of the matter_, he thought.

"I don't want to have sex with you, Bella," he said quietly. "I want to make love to you."

"You know what I mean, Edward. So don't go twisting it."

"So that's what this is really about, isn't it? It was never about my fortune." There was a deep sadness in his voice.

"I don't know. I just…don't know, Edward." She buried her face in her hands. "All I know is, well, that I want you like I've never wanted anyone. That I feel things when I'm with you that I've never felt before in my life. And yet, I don't know if you feel what I feel."

A silence fell over them as Edward navigated the car through the dense traffic of a Friday night in Port Angeles. They reached the multiplex and he pulled into the parking lot, turning into the first spot he saw, at the dark, empty far end of the lot. Putting the car into park and turning off the ignition, he turned to her.

"You don't know how I feel about you?" He hissed as his green eyes glowed angrily in the dim light. "I tell you that I love you, but you don't know how I feel about you? Because we haven't had sex? Is that how you measure love, Bella? Is my love not enough for you?"

"That's not what I mean," her voice was small.

"Then what do you mean, Bella? Enlighten me, please." He sat back in his seat, leaning his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

"It's just that, well, I thought by now we'd…" her voice trailed off. "You know."

"You thought by now that we'd be doing it? Like everyone else? Bella, we've been over this. I thought you understood." He didn't look at her, keeping his eyes closed instead.

"I know we'd been over it, Edward. And yes, I do understand."

"You understand but yet you're dissatisfied with our relationship? What we have isn't enough?"

"No, not really. I mean, I'm not saying I'm dissatisfied. Not with us. Just with…well…the physical aspect of us," she realized she sounded selfish and petulant, but she wanted to be with him, damn it. "I want you, Edward. My body, it sings out for you. It craves you, desires your touch. It's so hard for me. I want to feel you. All of you, Edward."

He whipped around in his seat so fast that she lurched back from him, pushing herself against the door of the car. "And do you think it's any easier for me? Do you think I don't have the same desires and feelings, Bella?" His voice was a stinging hiss. "Do you think that my body doesn't call out for you? That I don't need you? That I don't revel in your every touch? Jesus Christ, Bella. I come alive when I'm with you. You don't even have to touch me! But when you touch me it's what I imagine Heaven to be like!"

"I…I…" She closed her mouth and looked down. "If that's true…then why are you denying yourself, Edward? Denying us?"

"Because I told you. I have some issues I need to resolve first. And until I do, this has to be enough." He sounded angry now, but she couldn't be sure if he was angry with her, or with himself.

"But, why can't you tell me what's wrong? Why are you hiding it from me?" She was begging now, her voice whiny like a child denied it's desires. "Why is it such a big secret?"

"Because I don't want to face it myself," he moaned as he buried his face in his hands.

"Edward," she whispered. "Edward, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." Silent tears ran down her cheeks. "I don't want to fight with you."

He didn't look up. He just kept his face buried in his hands.

"Edward, please. Please look at me."

He pulled his hands away from his face, but didn't look at her. He started the car again. "I think I should take you home, Bella."

"No," she put her hand on his hand on the gear shift. "No. We aren't done. I'm not leaving things like this. Not again."

"There's nothing to discuss, Bella." His voice was flat. Dead.

"Please, Edward. Talk to me. Why can't you talk to me?"

"Why can't you talk to me? Why is it always me who has to open up?" He turned and looked at her, the light that was always sparkling in his emerald eyes when he looked at her now gone out.

She leaned back, breathing in a ragged breath. They sat silently as the radio played Clair de Lune softly. After what seemed like a silent forever, she sighed.

"His name was James. He was the assistant manager at the Hot Topic I worked at, in the mall in Phoenix."

"This the boyfriend you left behind?" His voice was impassive.

"No, I broke up with him before I moved here," she looked down at her hands. "Well, that's not entirely true. Anyway, I was fifteen when I started working there, and I worked most of my shifts with him. He had long blonde hair that he wore pulled back. Wore a lot of leather. He had a lot of piercings and tats. He took me for my first tat, actually."

"How romantic," Edward snorted.

"He was older, and that was thrilling to me at the time," her voice was low, like she was in a confessional. "Renee hated him. More importantly, Phil hated him."

"How old was he?"

"Twenty two."

"Twenty two and he was dating a fifteen year old?" He shook his head.

"N-no, we didn't start dating until I was sixteen," her voice shook.

"How comforting," his voice was sarcastic.

"Edward, please. You wanted me to share my secrets, and that's what I'm trying to do."

"I'm sorry. I'll keep quiet. Go on." He stared straight ahead of him.

"He was…well…he was my first," she looked down and picked at the hem of her short skirt.

Silence filled the car like a living, breathing entity. She could feel the anxiety rising higher and higher in her with every second that Edward remained silent. And he was silent for a very long time.

"Did you…" he swallowed hard when he finally spoke. "Did you love him?"

She shook her head, suddenly aware of the tears that had been falling freely from her eyes. "No," she gasped for air as she wiped the back of her hand over her cheeks. "I've never loved anyone but you."

"Then…why?"

"Why?"

He looked at her, nodding his head, his green eyes dead with defeat. "Why did you have sex with him if you didn't love him?"

She sucked in a breath. "Because…because…" her eyebrows knit together as she thought. "Because, well, all my friends were having sex with their boyfriends," she sighed. "And James was really pretty convincing."

"If all your friends jumped off the Empire State Building would you jump too?" He was staring out the front window again, voice still void of emotion.

"No, Edward, I would not," she answered more harshly than she had intended to. What kind of a question was that? "Why did you have sex your first time?"

He looked at her without seeing her. "Because I was in love."

She doubled over as if she'd been punched in the stomach, the wind knocked out of her by his verbal blow. He'd been in love before her. There had been someone who'd captured his heart before it was hers. Someone he'd kissed. Someone he'd touched. Someone he'd loved. Everything he'd felt with her, he'd felt once before. With someone else. With someone he'd made love to, something he wouldn't do with her. She turned away from him, pretending to look out the side window of the car yet again, but her eyes saw nothing but the tears that streamed from them.

He didn't look at her. He just stared straight ahead as they sat silently. Finally, after a span of time that felt longer than eternity to her, he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled something out. He held his open palm out to her, an offering.

When she didn't take what he held in his hand, he again leaned his head back against the headrest, turning it to face her, and with his eyes closed, nudged her arm lightly, mumbling "Here," as he offered yet again.

She turned, tear and mascara stained cheeks flushed red, and looked at his outstretched hand.

"What's this?" Soft sobs shook her body and she avoided looking at his face.

"Take it."

She reached up and with a trembling hand took the small balled up paper from his hand. She opened it and realized it was his fortune from the restaurant. Squinting in the darkness, she read the words written on it.

_A Happy Life Is Just In Front Of You_

Without a word, he put the car in drive and pulled out of the lot.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

They drove the entire way to Forks in silence. There was so much to be said, and yet, there was nothing that could be said at all.

Edward stopped the Volvo in front of her house, not bothering to put it in park.

She opened the door, shoulders slumped in defeat. "Goodnight, Edward."

"Night." He didn't turn to look at her.

She slammed the door closed, and dejectedly walked up to the front door. She turned to look at the car as she opened the door, but only saw it pulling away from the curb.

"Bells?" Charlie was laid out on the living room sofa, watching a hockey game on his flat screen.

"Just me, Charlie," she tried to stop her voice from shaking, but that was kind of hard, considering her entire body was trembling. She grabbed a hold of the banister and tried to steady her legs enough for the climb up to her bedroom.

"You're home early," He shifted on the sofa, and she knew he was sitting up now.

"Yeah," she managed to get up the first step.

"Everything ok?"

"Everything's fine, Charlie. Go back to the game." Her voice shook as fresh tears cascaded down from her already sore eyes.

"It doesn't sound fine, Bella," Charlie appeared in the hallway, his voice soft.

She looked up at her father, and her resolve to be brave dissolved instantly. "Oh, Charlie," she bawled as she flew to him, arms wrapping around him as she buried her face in the plaid shirt he wore. "Edward and I had a horrible fight! I think it's over," she sobbed.

Charlie wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back soothingly as he let her cry, her sobs shaking them both. "There...there," he tried to console her. "Why don't you tell me what happened. Maybe we can figure out a way to fix it," he led her into the living room, keeping a strong arm around her as he sat her down on the sofa.

"It…was…my…fault," she managed between sobs. "I…I…I push…pushed," she struggled for breath as she tried to talk through her strangled sobs.

"Hang on," he pulled the bulky black jacket off her before he got up from the sofa and made his way quietly into the kitchen, emerging a minute later with a glass of water. He knelt down in front of her. "Here, baby. Drink a little bit. It'll help." He held the glass up to her lips, as though she were a little girl again, tilting it up until she took a small sip. "Better?" She nodded. "Here…take a little bit more." He watched as she swallowed, smoothing the mussed hair away from her wet, red cheeks with his free hand. "Feeling better?"

"Y-yes," she nodded, wiping her stained cheeks with the back of her hand. Her entire body trembled and it was hard for her to take a deep breath.

Charlie sat down next to her again, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her to him. "Now, why don't you start at the beginning and tell me what this fight was about?"

"We had dinner at the White Lotus again," her voice was low, strained. "He wouldn't read his fortune out loud. Said it wouldn't come true if he did," she sniffled as she shook her head. "I pushed. And it just…" she closed her eyes as her voice trailed off. "I just made it worse and worse. Pushed him. Always pushing him. Push. Push. Push." She shook her head and looked down. "And, finally, he…he just snapped."

"Sweetie, I doubt Edward would break up with you over a fortune," Charlie rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

"The fortune was just the start of it. I pushed it into his issues and why he's keeping them a secret," she sighed and buried her face in her hands. "And do you want to know the worst part?" She looked at her father, and her face tore his heart to shreds.

"What's the worst part, Bells?"

She fumbled with the jacket that was crumpled around her on the sofa, feeling around in the pockets until she came up with the little balled up paper. "This. This is the worst part."

Charlie looked at her as he took the shard of paper from her. He opened it up, smoothing it out carefully as he read it.

_A Happy Life Is Just In Front Of You_

"He was right. His fortune won't come true now," she sobbed into Charlie's shirt as he tightened his arms around her.

Charlie held her until her sobs stopped, rubbing her back gently. "Hey," he finally broke the strained silence. "I have an idea. Why don't you take one of those nice soothing bubble baths I hear so much about? Hmm?"

"Why would I do that?"

"It'll help to relax you." He continued rubbing her back.

"But I don't have any bubble bath," she whined.

"Oh, but you do. Remember that basket I got for you when you came? It had bubble bath in it. It's in the bathroom," he smiled and kissed the top of her head. He'd been so excited that she was coming to live with him that he'd gone to some fancy store in Port Angeles that sold all sorts of girly bath products and bought the biggest gift basket they had for her. He thought the pampering would be something she'd enjoy. Instead, it was something he was suggesting to help her relax and forget her fight with her boyfriend.

"Yeah?" She pulled her head away from his chest and looked at him, a half hearted smile on her lips.

"Yeah," he smiled at her.

"You're really a thoughtful man, Charlie." Her eyes were red and swollen.

"Hey, you're my one and only. Gotta take good care of you," he pressed his lips to the top of her head lovingly.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

An impassioned melody wafted up to the third floor, and Carlisle followed it down and into the living room.

Edward sat at the baby grand piano in the dark room, pounding wildly on the keys, playing the notes with a mad passion as Carlisle recognized Mozart's Symphony No. 25 in G Minor. He watched as his son's nimble fingers flew furiously across the delicate keys, head violently bobbing up and down, wayward copper hair flying around his head. He looked like a beautiful mad man.

Then, as abruptly as the music had begun, it ended, with Edward jumping up from the bench so suddenly that the bench toppled over backward. His hands twisted into his hair, tugging on it hard as he began it pace around in a small circle, completely unaware that his father stood in the doorway watching him. Carlisle watched quietly as Edward circled around three or four more times before dropping to his knees and burying his face in his hands, body quaking with silent sobs.

"Edward…what is it?" He stepped forward, reaching out to his devastated child.

Edward didn't answer, instead rocking back and forth on his knees as he cried into his hands.

"Edward," Carlisle knelt on the floor beside him. "Edward, talk to me," he put his hand on his son's shoulder, and Edward crumbled into his father's arms, sobbing.

"It's over, Dad," he whispered through his tears. "Over."

"You mean you and Bella?" Carlisle ran his fingers through his shattered son's hair. It had been years since he'd comforted his child like this, and it made him think back to Edward's first night with them, how Esme had lovingly rocked the scared child through the night. This was what parenthood was.

"It's not enough for her," he sat up. "Why can't it be enough? Why can't I be enough? Just for now? What's wrong with me?" He looked into Carlisle's eyes, begging for an answer.

"Dad?" Jasper appeared in the doorway, arm still slung at an awkward angle. "Should I get Mom?"

Carlisle nodded as he knelt on the floor, rocking Edward, holding his trembling body tightly as he watched Jasper sprint up the stairs.

"Why isn't it enough, Dad? Why?" He repeated over and over until Esme appeared in the living room, face serene as she moved toward her wounded son.

"Edward? Edward, baby, what's wrong?"

"Mom! Oh, Mom!" He sobbed as he reached his arms out to his mother like a little boy begging to be picked up, tears blurring his vision as Esme scooped him into her arms and hugged him to her chest tightly, folding herself down on the floor next to her husband.

"Baby, it's ok. It's ok sweetheart," she ran her fingers through his hair, kissing his forehead tenderly as she crooned to him. She rocked him slowly as he cried. "It's ok, my angel. It's ok. Mommy's here now." Soon his sobs gave way to silent tears and his breathing slowed.

"Now, why don't you tell Mommy what got you so upset, sweetie?" Her voice was low and soothing.

"It's over, Mom," his voice was raspy from crying. "Bella and me."

"Did you have a fight, love?"

"No," he sighed. "I'm just not enough for her. I can't give her what she wants."

"Don't be silly, baby. Bella wants you," she ran her fingers through his hair.

"But I can't give her what she wants." His voice hiccupped as he tried to catch his breath.

"Edward, sweetness, have you explained that to her?" She crooked a finger under his chin, tilting his face up to her. "You haven't, have you?"

His brow furrowed. "No. I…I can't. I just can't, Mom," he avoided Esme's gaze.

"If she does love you, she'll understand, Edward," she looked lovingly at her son.

"She doesn't understand, Mom," he shook his head.

"She can't understand something you haven't explained, Edward," Carlisle's voice was soft, and Edward realized that he'd been holding his father's hand in a vice like grip the entire time. "What you're asking for is nearly impossible," he continued. "You're asking for a tremendous leap of faith, son."

"Love is a funny thing, Edward," Esme smoothed the hair away from his face. "I don't have to tell you that. Sometimes, you don't have to say a word. Other times, you need to spell it out in big, giant letters. This is one of those things you need to spell out, love."

"You need to go to her and explain everything, Edward," Carlisle squeezed Edward's hand. "You need to lay it all out."

"And, then, if she still doesn't understand, if she still pushes? Well, then she must not really love you," she smiled as she looked lovingly into her son's green eyes.

"Are…are you sure?" He sat up between his parents and rubbed his hands over his eyes.

"Positive, angel," Esme ran her fingers down his puffy red cheek. "Go wash your face, my beautiful boy."

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Charlie had been right. After a nice, long soak in a warm bathtub filled with fragrant bubbles, she did feel better. She had relaxed and thought things out. No, things with Edward were far from over. She would prove to him that he was enough, that she didn't need more than his love. She would show him that her love was far better than any love he'd had before. She would make him see that they were made for each other. And she wouldn't push him. She was done pushing him.

She stepped out of the tub and toweled herself off, feeling much more optimistic about things than she had felt when she'd stepped into the tub. She shimmied into a pair of soft black flannel pajama pants with little white skull and crossbones printed on them, and yanked a black long sleeved thermal tshirt over her head.

She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror and sighed. Her eyes were red and puffy, a stinging reminder of her earlier tears. She had washed all her makeup off and looked like death with her pale, sunken cheeks. She pulled her hair back into a pony tail and headed to her bedroom, anxious to check her cell phone to see if Edward had tried to contact her. She hoped he had, being honest with herself, she doubted he would have. And with the newly found clarity that her relaxing bubble bath had given her, understood why he wouldn't. She knew that, even if he hadn't made the first move, she would just send him a text saying she was sorry and that she loved him. She would always love him, no matter what.

She sighed and flipped off the bathroom light as she walked out, making her way down the darkened hallway to her bedroom. She opened her door and flipped on the light. Her breath caught in her throat as she gasped, throwing her hand up in front of her

mouth.

Edward's green eyes glared at her from the rocking chair in the corner of her room…

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Hmmm...Edward has a secret...wonder what it is...and Bella's a pushy broad, isn't she? And, yowza...James should be in jail! **

**I hope you enjoyed it...please review and let me know what you think! **


	14. Chapter 14: Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment

**Thanks to everyone who's reading my little story! I do appreciate you sticking with it!**

**This chapter was somewhat difficult to write. Real Life reared it's ugly head and made it difficult to get into the right frame of mind. Well, that and a little movie premiere that had me a little preoccupied :P**

**Now, down to business: Twilight, it's characters, and situations do not belong to me. Would that they did! But, no. They are all the property of Stephenie Meyer, who's the genius behind it all.**

**Please enjoy....**

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Chapter 14: Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment**

Edward Cullen's emerald green eyes flashed at her as he sat calmly in the rocking chair in the corner of her bedroom, an aura of tranquility surrounding him.

"Close the door, Bella," he rasped quietly, and for a moment, she was terrified of this beautiful creature sitting so serenely in the chair that her mother had rocked her in as a child. She swallowed hard, fumbling as she reached behind herself to close the door, afraid to take her eyes off of him, as though if she did, he would pounce before she could take another breath and drain the very life from her veins.

She stood in front of the closed door, arms at her side, waiting. The eerie calm that surrounded him frightened her.

"Sit down," he nodded toward her bed and she did as she was told. As soon as she moved, she knew he would never hurt her. At least not physically.

"I need to talk to you," his voice was a quiet whisper, and he swallowed hard, wincing as if it hurt. "About tonight."

"I'm listening," she avoided looking directly at his piercing eyes like one avoids looking directly at the sun.

"I'm sorry about tonight," he whispered, looking down at his hands folded neatly in his lap. "I'm sorry for the things I said. And for the things I didn't say."

"Don't worry about it, Edward," she sighed, folding her arms across her chest. She was determined to set things right with him, even if it meant swallowing her pride and taking a hit to her ego, letting his comments about James slide.

"No, I do worry about it. I had no right. No right to say the things I said. No right to act the way I did," he shifted in the chair and she jumped at his sudden movement, but he didn't seem to notice. "My…my father told me that I can't expect people to take huge leaps of faith just because I'm too scared of the consequences for explaining things. People just aren't wired that way I guess," his head was still bowed. "I had no right to expect that from you or from anyone," he looked up through his long eyelashes.

"I told you not to worry about it, Edward," she couldn't control the tremble in her voice.

"My mother," he sighed and paused, running a hand through his already unruly hair. "My mother says that sometimes you have to spell things out. So, I'm here to spell it out, Bella." He looked up at her and green eyes met brown. Her heart melted the second she looked into the depths of his eyes, the sadness she saw contained in them pained her.

"Edward, you don't have to. I understand. It was my fault," she scrunched her face up as though the memory hurt her physically. "I push too hard sometimes."

"But you had every right to push," he shook his head. "You are in this relationship too. It's not just about me. It's about us. And, I mean, I'm the reason we are stuck in first gear here, right?"

"And first gear is just fine, Edward. Honestly. This was all my fault. Because I'm pushy. I pushed like it was all about me and my feelings with no regard for yours," she sighed, shaking her head. "I push and push until whoever I'm pushing pushes right back," she shrugged and grinned at him sadly. "You finally pushed back tonight."

"You weren't pushing, Bella. You were just, well, you were right," his voice was filled with remorse.

"I'm sorry, Edward. Really I am. I hate fighting with you," she felt tears stinging her already sore eyes again and fought against them.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he rubbed his reddened eyes and leaned his head back against the chair, closing his eyes as he sighed. "I do. You opened up to me, and my reaction was to make sarcastic remarks and then take you home without opening up to you. I act like I'm the only person who's ever been hurt."

"But, Edward, you have opened up to me," she protested. "You told me all that stuff about Rose and what she did to you and your mom."

"That's just a minor part of it all, Bella," he dismissed her words with a wave of his hand. "That's about my family, not me."

"Rome wasn't built in a day, Edward," she pulled at the drawsting on her pants absently. "Baby steps, right?"

"You trusted me. You opened your soul to me, and I just shut you out," still leaning his head against the back of the rocking chair, he turned and looked at her. "My mother says I need to tell you the truth. All of it. And let you make your decision based on that truth. I have to leave the ball in your court."

"I told you, it's ok, Edward. No harm, no foul. If it's any consolation, there's some stuff I haven't told you either. Let's just forget tonight ever happened, ok?" She held fast to her idea to ignore what had happened and stop pushing him. She couldn't lose him. She wouldn't lose him.

"It's not ok. I need to tell you everything, Bella. Even if you don't tell me everything. It's my shit that's coming between us." He turned to face her, green eyes still blazing in the dim light.

"Edward, I don't want to get into this with you again," she slid off the bed and knelt down next to the rocking chair where he sat, timidly placing a small, trembling hand on his knee. "I just want to forget all of this and move on."

"We can't move on until you know everything, Bella." He reached a long, elegant hand out and cupped her chin tenderly. "And once you know, then it's all up to you."

"What's all up to me?"

"Whether we continue on or end it all right here." He looked at her, green eyes painfully sad.

"Edward, you're scaring me," her voice shook.

"You should be scared," he sighed, letting her chin go and folding his hands neatly in his lap once more. He was still serene, and his calm frightened her all the more. Perhaps Carlisle had given him a tranquilizer?

"I can never be afraid of you, Edward. I love you." She took his hand in hers. "If you feel that you have to, then tell me."

"Before I start" he swallowed hard, licking his lips. "May I have just one last kiss?"

"Edward," she climbed up from the floor and onto his lap. "You can have all the kisses you want. Now or later." She wrapped her hand around to the nape of his neck, gently running her fingers through the soft hair there, and pulled his head down so that his soft, lush lips caressed hers, sucking her lower lip between his own hungrily. She deepened the kiss, parting her lips and letting his tongue inside. A soft moan escaped him as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. She twisted her other hand into his hair, pulling him as close as she could, as if terrified he would disappear if she loosened her grip. There was no way she was losing this man. But Edward blinked first, gently easing his grip around her and sliding his hands up to her face, pulling her lips away from his slowly.

"Sorry," he closed his eyes, leaning his head back. "It was getting a little too intense." One corner of his perfect mouth twisted up into a half smile.

"I like intense," she smiled, brushing the bronze hair back from his forehead.

"Now isn't the time for intense," he shook his head as she wrapped her arms around his neck, laying her head on his shoulder.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, Bella. Christ, after I finish what I have to tell you, I'm the one who's going to have to apologize."

"For what?"

"For falling in love with you," his eyes were so sad that her heart broke.

"Never apologize for that," she ran her fingers softly down his stubbled cheek. "So, tell me this deep, dark secret of yours, Edward."

He took a deep breath and shifted under her. "I...I'm sorry, Bella, but it'd be a lot easier for me if you weren't on my lap. Not that I don't love holding you, because I do. It's just…" his voice trailed off and he closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "It'd just be easier."

She understood. He needed a clear head. "Of course," she said as she slid from his lap to the floor again, folding her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She looked up at him. "Better?"

He nodded, "Yes, thank you."

"So, go ahead. I'm listening, Edward," her voice was soft and filled with understanding. At least she hoped she would be understanding.

He swallowed hard again, taking a couple of deep breaths to steel his nerves. He knew this would be difficult for him, because it was something he had never spoke about. He knew it would be difficult for her to hear as well, and he knew he couldn't blame her when she asked him to leave and never return. He closed his eyes.

"You know we lived in Seattle before moving to Forks, right?"

"Yes, you told me that. Lived there while your parents built the house here." So whatever this was happened in Seattle, she realized. Then it had to be a while ago.

"Yes. We kids were pretty happy in Seattle. Well, about as happy as you can be with Rose pulling all her little stunts. But, we had lives. Nice lives." He paused and smirked. "I wasn't the weird, prodigal Cullen there."

She smiled and let out a small laugh. There was nothing weird about Edward. He was as right as the rain that fell almost constantly in Forks.

"Anyway, unlike here, I had a lot of friends. I was a freshman in high school when I met her."

Bella felt her throat tighten up at the mention of a 'her'. This had to be the girl he had been in love with.

"Her name was Victoria, and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on." Edward's eyes looked straight ahead of him, seeing nothing in the present. Instead, he saw quite clearly into his past, watching the beautiful girl he had loved.

"What did she look like?" Bella clenched her hands tightly around her legs, desperate to know what Edward's first true love looked like, yet not wanting to know at all.

"Oh, she was beautiful. She had this long, flowing, wavy strawberry blonde hair. It floated around her like a halo. Her skin was like alabaster, paler than yours even, and soft as silk. And her eyes…her eyes were the most sparkling blue I have ever seen." He licked his lips, relishing the memory. "I don't think I've ever seen such a clear blue color as her eyes were. She was a ballet dancer. She was so tiny. Slender. She had these long legs and when she walked, it…it was like she floated on air over the ground, all grace and elegance."

Bella looked down, closing her plain, common brown eyes. Now she understood. She was competing with a memory. A beautiful memory. A memory with grace and poise. A memory that was far superior to anything she could offer him in the here and now.

"We sat next to each other in home room on the first day of high school," he continued. And we were inseparable from that day on. My parents loved her," he smiled. "She was just the perfect girl. Beautiful. Gentle. Sweet. Loving," his voice was soft when he spoke of his Victoria, and she knew his feelings for her still ran quite deep. Her heart broke a little bit, for she knew she could never compete with such an exquisite memory.

"We had this perfect relationship. You know how every class has that couple that are _the_ couple?" She nodded wearily, not looking at him. "Well, we were that couple in our class. We had this huge circle of friends, and everything was just…perfect," he smirked and laughed a little at the irony of how imperfect his life really was. "She would come to all of my ball games and track meets to cheer me on. I would go to all of her ballet recitals and give her roses after. Her parents were pretty strict, but they liked Carlisle and Esme, so she was even allowed to come up to Whistler with us a couple of times when we went," a crooked smile wound it's way across his lips.

"Whistler?" Her voice was barely a whisper, her throat dry as the Arizona desert she'd left behind months before.

"Whistler, up in British Columbia. We had a place up there." The smile fell from his lips and he stared at her blankly. "We used to love to ski. All of us."

"Oh," she didn't want to know any more about Whistler with the perfect skiing ballerina Victoria. She could never hope to have enough balance to ski or dance, let alone both. She was lucky she could walk upright.

He exhaled. "So, we had it all planned out. We'd graduate from high school, and of course we were going to be king and queen of the prom. Because we were so fucking perfect," he shook his head. There was that word again. "Then we were going to get married that summer, right after graduation, before going off to Washington State University in Pullman, since they had already scouted me." He stopped, breathing heavier than when he began. Bella stared straight ahead of her, at his denim clad knees, not knowing if she were breathing or not. Only one thought consumed her. _He loved her. He loved her enough to want to marry her._

"The summer between our freshman and sophomore year was going to be even more perfect than the school year had been. Or so we thought. That's when my parents pulled the rug out from under us and announced that they were building a new house in Forks," he sighed. "Their dream house. It was like they just reached into my chest and ripped my heart out like that guy in Indiana Jones did. I was going to have to leave my beautiful Victoria behind."

Her heart clenched at the words. _My beautiful Victoria_. _Mine._ She couldn't recall him ever referring to her as _his_ Bella. Her stomach churned and she felt the bile rising in her dry throat.

"Bella? Are you ok?"

"Huh? Uh…yeah, why?" She blinked back to reality.

"You just looked weird is all." His voice was quiet, disconnected. His green eyes were dark, with no light in them now. Unlike when he spoke of the perfect Victoria and his eyes lit up.

"No, I'm fine. Go on," she tried to sound as normal as possible, but knew she didn't.

"The house was going to be ready by Christmas break, and that's when we were going to be moving. We were having the holidays in our new home. And of course we'd start at Forks High mid-year." He began to rock slowly in the old chair. "I don't have to tell you what it feels like to be starting over in high school, especially if you start after the semester already started," he sighed. "It didn't sit well with any of us, but it was worse for me. The others would be moving with their boyfriends and girlfriends. They'd all be together. But, me? I was leaving my one true love behind. Sure, we'd call or text and email, but it wouldn't be the same. We were used to being together every day. Every night. Every weekend. Always together. But my parents had spoiled all of our plans with one sentence: 'We're moving to Forks'. Four little words that ruined my life."

She shifted her position. Her entire body was numb now. Not from how she was sitting, but because of what she was hearing. The move to Forks, where he had met her, had ruined his life. She wished her ears would go as numb as her heart had. But no, they had betrayed her, remaining acutely aware of every word he was saying, searing it into her brain like a hot branding iron.

_Edward loves Victoria._

_Edward loves Victoria._

_Edward loves Victoria._

Over and over on every portion of her brain, the hot iron left its mark. Deeper than a tattoo. It not only left a permanent mark, it left an engraving, etched there forever.

"I told Victoria that night and there was just a really dark cloud over the rest of the summer for us. Well, for all of us really, but for Victoria and I in particular. The only ones happy about the move were my parents." He smirked at this particular memory, shaking his head. He rocked the chair a little faster now, and his breathing became heavier. She knew he was getting to the heart of the matter.

"It didn't really hit us until September that I was leaving in December. Three months. That was all the time we had left. Three short months. When you're fifteen, three months is an eternity. It's an entire fall semester. But when you only have those three months to be together, it's a very short time," he took a deep breath, steadying his shaky voice. "About two weeks into the new semester, we knew what we had to do. We decided to run away together."

Her breath caught in her throat. Edward had run away with her. _Edward ran away with his one true love, Victoria._

"We planned the whole thing out for a couple of weeks. Worked out all the details. Got bus passes, had cover stories for the backpacks we were taking. Had money. It was the perfect plan." He nodded his head in agreement, his eyes so distant that the past was the present for him. "We left on Halloween, when our parents thought we were going to a party, and each of us would be sleeping over at a friends house after."

"Wh..wh…where did you go?" But she already knew the answer.

"We went to the house in Whistler," he looked down at her, his emerald eyes flashing. "We thought that we'd be safe in Canada," a low chuckle escaped from his throat. "We were just a couple of stupid kids, Bella. We didn't realize how stupid what we did was. We just wanted to be together because we loved each other."

"Oh," her voice was small. She swallowed again and her dry throat scratched like she had swallowed a thousand glass shards.

"We figured it would be just like we were married up in Canada. Even thought maybe we could get married in British Columbia, that maybe the age was lower than in Washington. And we were quite certain our parents would never find us," he shook his head. "I'll admit, we had a healthy head start. They didn't realize for at least a good twelve hours what we had done. But Carlisle, he's smart," Edward tapped a long, elegant finger to his forehead. "Once it was clear we'd fled, he figured out right away where we'd gone."

"Carlisle loves you so much, Edward," she wasn't sure he had heard her, since he was silent for a long time.

"I know that," he didn't look at her. He stared straight ahead again, a slight smile playing on his full lips. "I understand that now," his voice was soft when he spoke of his father. "We didn't think, Bella. All we saw was the life we had planned out ahead of us. In Canada. In each other's arms. We got up there, to the house in Whistler, and we just wrapped our arms around each other. Jumping up and down like the stupid kids we were. We'd done it. We had outsmarted everyone. We were going to have the life we had all planned out after all."

She saw him grip the arms of the rocking chair, and she knew what was coming. She pulled her knees up tightly against her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs, pulling them as close to her chest as possible, to try to prevent her heart from being ripped out completely.

"When we were done jumping up and down, I went and got a bottle of champagne that I knew was in the house. My parents always kept that house stocked well with non-perishables and the wine cabinet was always full. We toasted our cleverness and our success. We toasted ourselves and our love. Then, we decided that it was time," he took a deep breath and held it in for a minute before exhaling, working up his courage for what came next. "We went up to the master suite, to my parents bedroom. We took our time. We had all the time in the world. We didn't have to be desperate and clawing in the back seat of a car or quick and sloppy on the sofa before the parents got home from work. We were going to make love to one another, slow and easy. The way it should be."

The wave of nausea swept over her suddenly and she closed her eyes, trying desperately to will the feeling to go away, but the cold sesame noodles they'd shared only hours before seemed determined to make a reappearance. How could she stop it when he insisted on telling her everything in minute detail. She wanted to scream out that she got it! They did it! They had sex! Now move on! But she knew there had to be a reason he was explaining in such great detail to her. She was sure that he relived every moment that passed between himself and his precious Victoria countless times. Surely he wasn't sadistic enough to just be torturing her with what she would never have. Or was he? She took a few deep breaths and looked back up at him, face pale and expectant.

"We undressed each other slowly, touching, feeling, exploring. Worshipping. Kissing. Tasting. And when it finally happened, it was the most amazing thing either of us had ever experienced. I'd never felt more alive." His green eyes glowed and his face held an expression she'd never seen on it before. Euphoria. "We lay wrapped in each others arms for a while, after that first time, just listening to each other breathe. It was the most wonderful feeling, being that close to the person you loved, showing them how you felt instead of just telling them. Then we showed each other a second and a third time. We took our time. We had all night. Hell, we had the rest of our lives. Love is an amazing thing, Bella." She looked up when he said her name, his glowing green eyes holding hers. "It makes rational people act irrationally."

All she could muster was a nod in response. Her brain, now branded with _Edward loves Victoria_, finding it impossible to formulate a coherent sentence now that he had managed to reach into her chest and yank her heart out, crushing it between his long, elegant fingers while leaving only a gaping, aching, bloody wound where it had once warmed her.

"The door to the bedroom busted open right in the middle of our fourth time," he smirked. "Carlisle and Victoria's father came bounding in, with Carlisle screaming at me to stop. Her father was screaming for me to get off of her, to stop hurting her…as if I would ever hurt her. I loved her," his eyes were once again distant, as though he were seeing it all play out in front of him once again in real time. "It was horrible. My mom and Victoria's mom, who never really liked me to begin with, ran in right behind them. Her mother was howling that I had ruined her baby. Victoria was screaming and crying. Trembling." He shook his head. "I had my arms around her, trying to protect her. Her father ran over to the bed and grabbed me by my arm. He pulled me right out of the bed, dragged me across the floor and tried to shove me out the door before Carlisle got a hold of me. It was humiliating, to be pulled across a room naked like that. I'm not saying that maybe I didn't deserve it, but, well, it felt horrible. Carlisle got me away from him, but the damage was already done." He held up his right arm and bent his elbow a few times. "Hear it?"

She listened, trying to concentrate as he moved his arm. She furrowed her brows together as she noticed something she'd never noticed before. A slight clicking sound. "What's that," she managed to croak out.

"Broken elbow. Never healed right. Baseball career over," he shook his head.

"So that's the reason you don't play anymore?" She laid her chin on her knees, closing her eyes wearily.

"Yep. I was a pitcher. Why did you think I didn't play?" He tried to sound detached as he spoke of his shattered dreams, but she knew better.

"I thought it just didn't mesh with your bad boy persona," her voice was sad, defeated, and she made no effort to mask how she was feeling.

"No, but it did work out well when you think about it," he nodded and took a deep breath. "Anyway, my mom managed to grab a blanket off the bed and wrapped it around me, covering my embarrassment. Of course Mom held me," he shook his head and smiled. "I'm her perfect baby boy, after all. Nothing ever changes that. Victoria's father noticed the empty champagne bottle and decided that I'd not only kidnapped his daughter, but I got her drunk and then had my way with her. Victoria was still in the bed, holding the sheets up over her head, sobbing while her mother was clutching her, screaming to call the police and have me arrested. I'd soiled her perfect angel," a snort escaped from him as he said this. "I don't know where she found the strength, but Victoria finally managed to speak up and tell her mother that it wasn't all my fault. That she'd wanted to run away with me, to make love with me. That she'd been as big a part of the plan as I had been, because she loved me as much as I loved her. I owe her so much for that. For standing up to her mother the way she did," his eyes were soft at the memory when he looked down at Bella. "She never stood up to her mother. Her mom was pretty domineering and she would just go along with whatever she told her to do. She fought for me, though, because she loved me," his voice was a whisper, as though he were in church, confessing his sins.

"So I see," she glanced up at him, quickly diverting her eyes back to his denim clad legs. Not only had he ripped her heart out and crushed it with his bare hands, but he seemed insistent on slamming it down on the ground like he'd just scored a Super Bowl winning touchdown and then proceed to dance a Merengue on what was left of it.

"Cooler heads eventually prevailed, with Carlisle calming her parents down after my mom took me out of the room. We went to my bedroom at the house. You know, it was right there, in that room, that I realized I was just a stupid boy. I wasn't the man I had deluded myself into thinking I was. Something about crying in your mom's arms drives that home, I guess," his voice was sad and wistful. "You know, just because you are old enough to have sex, well, it doesn't mean you're an adult. I realized that right away that night."

She looked up at him, and saw the tears in his eyes. "So…what happened?" Her voice sounded like a whimper to her.

He sighed. "They took Victoria home and I went home with my parents," he shrugged. "Carlisle had told Victoria's father that we would move right away, instead of waiting for Christmas break. By the end of the week, we were here in Forks and my brothers and sisters hated me for depriving them of the rest of their time in Seattle."

"So you and Victoria broke up?" _Oh please oh please oh please say that you did!_

"No, not really," he shook his head. "They left with her. Didn't allow us to say goodbye to each other, even with knowing what we meant to one another. We Cullen's didn't go to school that week, because we were packing stuff up for the move, so I didn't even get to say goodbye to her in school. We just…disappeared."

"Didn't you keep in touch with her?" Her face was buried in her knees, not wanting him to see her. He had loved her. He loved her still.

"No. Her parents deleted her email account and cancelled her cell phone number that very night," he paused and she dared look up at him at the same moment that he looked down at her. "I never heard from her or saw her again, Bella," he whispered as a lone tear slid down his perfect cheek and the light in his green eyes went out.

That was all she could take. She bolted up from where she sat on the floor, tripping over the long legs of her pajama pants as she stumbled toward the bedroom door, holding her hand over her mouth. She couldn't hold it back any longer. Her stomach churned as she ran to the bathroom, flipping on the light and falling down onto her knees in front of the toilet. Her body convulsed violently as her dinner deserted her, tears cascading down her cheeks as she sobbed, gasping for breath. She felt her hair gently being pulled back from her face as a soft, gentle hand behind her rubbed her back, soothing her. She heaved a few more times before folding her arms across the toilet and closing her eyes, burying her face in her arms. The toilet flushed and she felt herself being pulled into the gentle arms. She curled her body into the strong chest and cried quietly for a few minutes, hands still over her face, eyes closed tightly as the arms held her and rocked her.

"I was such a fool," she sobbed. "Such a stupid, stupid fool!"

"Shhhhh," he rocked her gently, cradling her in his arms like a precious treasure as his lips kissed the top of her head.

"I thought I was losing him," a deep sob escaped from her. "But I never really even had him to begin with, Charlie," her body shook with sobs.

"You always had me, Bella," Edward hummed into her ear. "I've been yours from the minute you walked into Biology."

She looked up, surprised that the arms comforting her didn't belong to her father. Edward sat on the bathroom floor, arms wrapped around her. Holding her, rocking her. Comforting her.

"Edward," she breathed, pulling back from him. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry," She scrambled to get up from his lap while trying to stifle her sobs.

He held on to her, pulling her closer to him. "Bella, what are you doing? You're in no condition to stand up," his voice soft as velvet.

"I'm sorry. I know the last person you want in your arms is me," she covered her face with her hands again as she held her head down, not wanting to look at him. He was still in love with _her_, with _his Victoria_. _He doesn't care about you_, she thought sadly as her brain began to form coherent thoughts again. _The only reason he's still here is out of guilt._

As if her life couldn't get any worse, the bathroom door cracked open. "Bells?" It was Charlie.

"Yeah, Charlie," she tried to sound normal. She didn't succeed.

"Everything ok in there?"

"Fine Charlie. I just got a little sick. Chinese food didn't seem to agree with me tonight. I'm cleaning myself up now," her voice was hoarse, and she felt her breath hitch a little as she spoke, trying to quell the sobs as she crawled out of Edward's arms. She grabbed a hold of the ancient sink, using it to pull herself upright and onto her shaking legs. She turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water onto her red, tear stained face. Edward remained seated on the cold tile floor, eyes closed as he clenched his fists tightly.

"Ok, you let me know if you need me," he sighed from outside the door. "Hey, Edward, you ok?"

Bella glared at the bathroom door. How the hell did he do that?

Edward swallowed hard. "Yes, sir, I'm fine." His voice was shaky.

"Good. Bella, you keep that bedroom door open tonight, you hear?" Charlie's voice was calm. "I don't want you two shut up in there when you're having…uh…when you aren't feeling so hot, ok?" Charlie knew everything Edward had said, of that she was certain.

"Yes, Charlie," She shook her head as Edward ran his hands through his hair nervously. It was almost as if Charlie Swan could read minds.

"Oh, and Edward?"

"Yes sir?"

"Just a little reminder, you hurt my baby girl and I'll cut your bits off, son." Charlie's strained voice attempted to retain some of it's natural good natured lilt as he threatened Edward, but failed miserably.

Edward swallowed hard. "Believe me, the last thing I ever want to do in this life is hurt Bella, sir," his breathing was heavy. Where had she heard him say that before? Oh yeah…how could she ever forget?

"That's a good boy. Oh, and Edward, please use the front door whenever you leave, ok? I don't want to have to explain to your father how you broke your neck climbing out of my daughter's bedroom window."

"Yes, sir," Edward closed his eyes again, swallowing hard. He was pretty sure he was going to be leaving very soon, most likely at Bella's request.

"I'll be downstairs if either of you need me," Charlie concluded before they heard his creaky footsteps going down the ancient staircase.

"Jesus Christ," Edward exhaled, feeling his once calm body begin to tremble. He looked up at Bella, who was bent over the bathroom sink, body once again shaking with sobs.

"Bella, Bella please don't cry," he lurched to his feet and moved behind her, wanting to put his arms around her, soothe her, love her, but terrified to touch her now. "I knew I shouldn't have told you any of this," he sighed, running his hands through his hair. "I should never have listened to them," he closed his eyes, shaking his head as despair began to seep into his voice.

"What did you expect, Edward?" She turned to face him, her voice and face defeated. "Should I be turning cartwheels because you loved someone else enough to run away with them but you won't fucking touch me?" She shook her head. "I won't share you, especially not with a memory. I want all of you…or…." She sobbed and buried her face in her hands. "Or nothing, Edward."

"You have all of me, Bella," his voice had a slightly frantic edge to it as he placed his hands lightly on her shoulders.

"No," she shook her head, shrugging herself free from his grip. "No, I don't. _She_ has you. Still has you. After all this time." She took a shaky deep breath and looked up at him, fresh tears in her eyes. "I saw your face, Edward. You are still in love with her."

"I would be lying if I told you that I didn't still have feelings for Victoria, Bella. There was never any closure for me," he sighed and his hands were in his hair again, running frantically through it. "But, you are my life now. You. She's no longer part of it. You have to believe that."

"But she's still a part of you," her voice trembled. "That much is very clear. She's still right here," she touched a trembling hand to his chest. "In your heart."

"No! No, she's not. She's not in my life or in my heart. Please, Bella…" his voice begged her to believe what he said, but did he even believe it himself?

She turned her face up toward his, looking right into his dead green eyes with her red and swollen brown ones. "And what happens is she suddenly comes back into your life, Edward? What happens to me? What happens to us? Who do you choose, Edward?"

"Bella, it was a long time ago. I could never choose Victor~"

"Don't," she cut him off, holding her hand out in front of his face. "Please don't say her name again. I hate the way you say it. I hate the way it sounds, like it dances on your lips or like you are making love to her by just saying her name alone." The tears spilled down her face and for a moment, she felt like she was going to be sick again.

He looked at her, and she hated herself right then and there for the look on his face. She'd hurt him. Hurt him deeply with her remark. Hurt him on purpose, she knew. He had hurt her deeply, but it wasn't on purpose. That hadn't been his intent, she knew. But she did want to hurt him. She wanted Edward to feel the same searing pain in his chest that she was feeling in hers. She wanted him to know how it felt, even though she knew full well that he had suffered in losing his love, suffered as much, if not more, than she was suffering right now. But that was different. He had paid for loving _her_. Now he had to pay for hurting Bella. She looked away from him, suddenly wishing she'd never woken up that morning.

He let out a long breath. "What do you want me to say?" His voice was low and pleading, desperate. "Do you want me to say that I never loved her? That I wished I'd never met her? Wish I'd never made love to her? Do you want me to lie to you, Bella? Because that's what it would be. A lie. It happened. I was in love with her and she was in love with me. I cherish those memories, each and every one of them…and I'm not going to say otherwise. I'm not going lie to you about it."

"I don't want to be your consolation prize, Edward," she cried tearfully before turning away from him. She couldn't look at him anymore.

"My…my consolation prize?" He sounded puzzled.

"I don't want to be who you choose to be with only because you can't have her. Because you can't have the person you really want to be with, Edward." She leaned over the sink, holding onto the sides with so much force that her knuckles were white. The sobs started again, so hard that she thought her chest would split open. Looking up, she caught a glimpse of his face in the mirror over the sink through her tears. She wished she hadn't looked up. The shock and horror on his face ripped her very soul from her.

"Is…is that what you think?" She could barely hear him, his voice was so low. "You think that…that the only reason I'm here…with you…is because I can't be with her?"

She had no words. She wiped her runny nose with the back of her hand as she nodded, looking not at him. She stared down into the sink, crying for herself, and for the man she thought had loved her. She looked up, and saw his reflection in the mirror over the sink.

His face had gone blank as his mouth dropped open. He stared down at her silently, the shock on his face only moments before, now gone. In its place was an absolutely expressionless face, as though all of his muscles had been removed and he could no longer move. She had never seen him like this. She wasn't sure how long the tiny bathroom was shrouded in the silence between them as they stood as still as statues. The only sounds she could hear were her small whimpers and the hissing of his exhaling breath. Then, without another word, he turned and left the small bathroom.

She heard him move quickly down the creaking staircase, and then the front door slammed.

Edward was gone.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**DUN DUN DUNNNNN...yeah, I know. Edward went to the dark place. Where's he run off to? What's he doing? What ever will become of Edward and Bella. Will they have a happily ever after? Or, now that he's opened his Pandora's box, will _she_ come between our hero's? I want to say "tune in next week..." but I can't guarantee that these questions will be answered next week. Hey, I just want them to make up so Charlie can have his Thanksgiving with Carlisle's giant HDTV :D**

**If you like, please let me know! Just click the little button and leave me a review!**

**And, as always, thanks to everyone for reading :D**


	15. Chapter 15: Cretin Hop

**Apologies for this update being so late. Real life once again reared it's ugly head. I'd been playing around with an idea for a new story, and it just had to get itself out of me, so I'd been working on that when a giant Nor'Easter blew through NY and knocked my power out. That happened on Saturday, while I was at the theatre seeing _Remember Me_. We had 70mph winds, torrential rains, and flooding all over the county. A huge tree down the street, one that I had never, ever noticed before, came down and took the main power line with it. Needless to say, the power line took our power down with it, and we sat in a dark house Saturday night, listening to the rain and wind and the gasoline generator our neighbor had running. Sunday morning, when power was still not restored, we decided to head to a local hotel. It was there we learned the extent of the damage. Over 200,000 customers without power. Tree's down everywhere, closing roads all over. Flooding in all the low lying areas. Buildings destroyed. This was a massive storm. We didn't get power back until Wednesday night, thanks to a crew from Minnesota. By then, of course, I was totally fried and up to my earlobes in laundry (a weeks worth) and mess (had to toss all the spoiled food from the fridge then clean the whole contaminated thing from top to bottom) By the time I finally got to work on this, it was Friday night. So, apologies for the late update, and apologies for the short chapter.**

**Thanks to everyone who's reading this, and thanks for sticking with it. **

**Down to business...Twilight, its characters and its situations belong to Stephenie Meyer, who, I'm willing to bet, has a nice stand by generator hooked up to her home...unlike me.**

**Chapter 15: Cretin Hop**

He sat in the car, knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel, breathing heavily, not sure how long he'd sat like this in the garage.

It hadn't gone as planned. No, not at all. It hadn't gone well at all. If anything, he had made things worse. Much, much worse.

A consolation prize? How could she even think that? How could she even say that? If he didn't want to be with her, he wouldn't be with her. Victoria was in his past. How could she not understand that?

He pried his hands from around the steering wheel, flexing them slowly and painfully before running them through his disheveled copper locks once more. Popping open the glove box, he rummaged around in it, finally pulling out an open, crushed pack of cigarettes. He moved a few more things around, before giving up and slamming the box shut. Patting the pockets in his leather jacket, he dipped his hand in side and pulling out a lighter.

He got out of the car slowly, the feeling of numbness that had invaded his body earlier making his legs feel as though made of rubber. He suddenly felt he were one hundred and eight instead of only seventeen. He plodded heavily over to his smoking step, pausing only to light up a cigarette. The stale, cool smoke made it's way down his throat, and he coughed twice, not caring that it had been at least two weeks since he'd last taken a puff. He inhaled on the cigarette deeply, and closed his eyes as he sat down, resting his head in his free hand.

How had he made such a mess of his life?

The lights in the back of the house that illuminated the back yard patio flickered to life and Edward squinted up into their brightness. Had his parent's spotted him out here? Blinded, he heard the kitchen door open and shut, footsteps approaching him. Carlisle, he knew without seeing.

"Edward? Edward, what's the matter?" Carlisle stood before him, beige trench coat on over his suit pants, black doctor bag in hand.

"I blew it, Dad," he took another drag on the cigarette, holding the smoke in for a minute as he shook his head.

"What happened?"

Edward nodded toward the doctor bag. "Emergency?"

"Yes, one of my patients has been admitted to the hospital," Carlisle sighed, as he ran a long hand through his thinning blonde hair and sighed. "Edward, how can I help you?"

"Go, Dad. Maybe you can fix your patient. Nothing can fix me."

"We'll talk when I get back?" Carlisle looked at his son with concern.

Edward shook his head. "Don't worry about it," he took a long drag from the cigarette.

"Edward, please don't shut me out again," Carlisle sighed.

"Go to your patient, Dad. That's more important than my trivial bullshit." He stared at the glowing end of the cigarette he held between his fingers.

"I'll try to be home as soon as possible. We'll talk then?" He looked hopefully at his son.

"Sure, why not." He didn't look up as his father moved past him and into the garage.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" He didn't turn to look.

"I'm positive we can fix you," he said sincerely.

Edward snorted. "Something only a father would say," he muttered as the engine in Carlisle's sleek, black Mercedes purred to life. He backed the car out and made his way quickly down the winding, gravel driveway.

Edward sat in silence, taking a final drag on his cigarette before snuffing it out in the sand bucket kept on his smoking step for just such purpose before lighting up another. What did his father know? He had no idea how badly he'd fucked things up with Bella. Hell, _he_ had no idea how he'd fucked things up so badly. But it wasn't good. It's never good when you tell someone about your past and it causes them to vomit. It was obvious he'd turned her stomach.

"I love her and I make her sick," he sighed, taking another long drag.

"Those things'll kill ya."

He looked up and noticed Jasper making his way across the back patio toward him, moving awkwardly in the shadowed light, arm still slung over a giant foam rubber cube. _What now_, he thought. _Is he coming to gloat?_

"Right now, death would be a welcome respite," Edward took another puff as Jasper sat down next to him on the step.

"I take it things did not go well with Bella," his voice was laced with concern as he attempted to situate himself comfortably.

"That would be an understatement, brother of mine," Edward stared straight ahead.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Did Alice send you out here?" It wasn't as if Edward and Jasper had ever been as close as Edward and Alice were, really. Edward had tolerated Jasper for Alice's sake over the last two years in Forks, and they had barely spoken to one another unless absolutely, positively necessary, a situation that had suited them both.

"No. Alice is sleeping. She's got no clue what's going on," he said sincerely. "Edward," Jasper swallowed hard. "I know it's been a while for us, but, well, I…I don't want us to be at odds anymore. I want us to be friends again."

Edward looked at Jasper as he inhaled deeply on the remains of his second cigarette. "Why should I believe you?"

"Because Alice loves you, Edward. And both you and I love Alice."

"We do, Jazz, we do," he closed his eyes, swallowing hard before stuffing the cigarette butt into the sand bucket.

"Talk to me, Edward. Tell me how I can help you." He put his good hand on Edward's hunched shoulder, gripping it tightly.

"Oh, Jazz, I don't think there's a soul walking the face of this earth who could help me," he sighed.

"Now, we both know that's not true, brother," Jasper smiled a knowing smile at him. "You got yourself into it, and you can get yourself out of it."

"And, exactly how do I do that?" He pulled another cigarette from the crushed pack, but before he could get it to his lips, Jasper plucked it from between his fingers. "Hey!"

"Like I said, these things'll kill ya," he tucked the cigarette behind his ear. "And you are going to fix this by explaining to her."

"I did explain to her. I told her everything."

"And she got mad?"

"She fucking threw up," he shook his head. "I disgust her that much. Not to mention she thinks she's a 'consolation prize'," he made air quotes.

"Dude, did you just make air quotes? Please tell me that you didn't, Eddie." Jasper looked at him incredulously.

"I did. Deal with it, Jazz." He pulled the last cigarette from the crushed pack, turning quickly from Jasper to light it before his brother could grab it from him again. He inhaled deeply before continuing. "I told her all about Victoria, how we ran away to Whistler. How we got caught," he shook his head. "And she fucking hurled."

"Now, wait a second there," Jasper's voice was a soothing calm. "Back it up, Eddie."

"What?" Edward took another drag off the cigarette.

"You told her about how much you were in love with Victoria, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Well, what did you expect?" Jasper shook his head. "I mean, how would you feel if she told you about some guy she had been in love with and did it with before she met you?"

"She did tell me. His name was James," he leaned back, resting his elbows on the step behind him.

"And how did that make you feel?" Jasper looked at him intently.

"It…" he looked down, his voice growing low. "It disgusted me."

"Exactly."

"Not because she was with someone before me, Jazz," he shook his head. "Because he was twenty two."

"Doesn't matter. It wasn't the age. The age was the excuse you made to be upset, Eddie," he nodded. "You imagine her with him. And it makes you think, doesn't it?"

"No."

"Yes, yes it does. It makes you wonder if she'll like being with you as much as she liked being with him. Wonder if you're adequate enough for her. Wonder if she felt more with him," Jasper looked at his brother knowingly.

Edward sighed before taking another puff, closing his eyes as he did. "Ok, so yeah, maybe it did make me think a little about shit like that."

"Made you jealous too, I bet. He got what you want. And he got it before you did," Jasper nodded at him.

"Ok, Jazz," Edward glared at him. "You're right. I got jealous…and maybe a little scared. What's your point?"

"The point is," he put his good arm around Edward's shoulders. "that you both had similar reactions, but hers was more emotional. I'm willing to bet that you told her you were in love with Victoria. And I'm willing to bet she never really said she was in love with James. Am I right?"

He looked down at his feet, feeling the color rise in his cheeks. Jasper had hit the nail right on it's head. "I…well, you know how I felt about Victoria," he said quietly.

"Eddie, I love you. I really do. But," Jasper laughed. "You, my brother, are a hopeless romantic."

"I am not."

"Are too. You are looking back at the past through the proverbial rose colored glasses."

"What's that supposed to mean," he took a final drag from the remains of the cigarette filter between his fingers before snuffing the stub out in the sand bucket.

"It means that you aren't remembering your little romance all that well. You are remembering with your little head, not your big head," Jasper smirked at his own cleaver comment.

"Fuck you."

"No, listen to me, Eddie. I bet you told Bella how much you loved Victoria, how you were this perfect couple, right?"

"Yeah? So?" Edward glared defensively at his brother again.

"Well, did you tell her how Victoria wouldn't let you touch her after a ball game until you had showered and changed? Did you tell her how she would tell you what to wear when you went out?" Jasper shook his head. "Hell, did you tell her how she would belittle you and boss you around in front of everyone? Even your own mother?"

"Shut up, Jasper," Edwards hands balled up into fists.

"I didn't think so," he shifted his weight, trying to get comfortable again. "Edward, your romance with Victoria was anything but perfect."

"Nothing's perfect, Jazz," he sighed, resigned to the fact that his brother spoke the truth and buried his face in his hands.

"No, it's not. But all Bella knows about your relationship with her is that it _was_ perfect, because that's what you told her." He looked at his brother. "She doesn't know about how Victoria made you choose your ball game or her dance recital. She doesn't know the lengths you had to go to in order to keep Victoria happy." Jasper snorted out loud. "She doesn't know the verbal tirade you would be subject to if you slipped and called her 'Vic' instead of Victoria."

"And? Your point?" Edward's patience had worn thin. He was tired, so very tired. And he was angry. Angry with himself. Angry with Jasper for pointing out why everything with Bella had gone south so quickly that night. Angry at the world for making it so hard to be Edward Cullen on any given day.

"The point, Eddie, is that without this insight, she feels inferior. She's not perfect. She's not what you want. She's what you are, in her mind, with the information you've given her, settling for…like a 'consolation prize'," Jasper mimicked Edward's air quotes and put his hand on his arm softly. "Go to her, and tell her that it wasn't as perfect as you led her to believe. Tell her, Edward. And tell her your fears…I bet you didn't tell her those either."

Edward looked up at his brother, tears in his eyes. "It wasn't exactly perfect, was it," he whispered.

"No, it wasn't," Jasper whispered softly as he smiled. "It was far from perfect. How many nights did you come home upset after a date?"

Edward nodded as he knit his brows together. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"You know I am. You were remembering something that I'm sure was the sweetest thing in the world to you at the time. But, it turned sour so quickly. That night in Whistelr was only a small part of your relationship."

"I guess I was," Edward wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I guess I didn't think about that other stuff."

"And, your fear from that night is what's keeping you and Bella apart, I'm sure," Jasper continued. "But, Edward, Bella's not Victoria. And Chief Swan isn't her giant oaf of a father, either."

"Shit, I really fucked things up, didn't I?" He shook his head as he slid his hands into his hair, gripping the copper locks tightly between his fingers and tugging on them.

"Yeah, you did. But you can fix this, Eddie," he smiled at him as he moved his good arm up and gently pulled Edward's hands free from his hair. "I know you can."

"I should go talk to her now," Edward stood up abruptly, patting his pockets in search of his keys.

"No, Edward," Jasper stood slowly, trying to keep his balance. Edward reached out and grabbed him to steady him. "Thanks, bro," Jasper smiled. "But, I don't think you should go back to Bella's tonight."

"Why not?" Edward's face fell at his brother's words. How could he let this hang in the air between them all night?

"Because, well, you're both really upset and emotional right now," he looked at his brother softly. "Let her sleep on it. You sleep on it. Come down from all this emotional turmoil first. Then you can talk like rational adults."

"Jesus, how the hell did you get so freakin' wise, Jazz?" Edward closed his eyes and shook his head, breathing deeply. "You're like…like fucking Yoda or something."

Jasper snickered. "Wise, I am," he croaked in his best Yoda voice. "Smart you are to listen to me."

"Ok, I'll listen," Edward shook his head as a soft chuckle escaped him despite his frenzied state of mind. "I'll go to her tomorrow." He turned toward the house and, after taking half a step toward it, turned. "Hey, Jazz..." he hesitated. "Thanks." He threw his arms around Jasper, careful not to squeeze his injured shoulder too hard as he hugged him.

Jasper's arms came around him and hugged him tightly. "Man, this is way over due. I love you, brother, and I am so sorry for all the shit."

"Me too, Jazz, me too," Edward felt a tear slip down his cheek, but he didn't care. He'd ridden an emotional roller coaster the entire night and it had taken its toll.

"Come on," Jasper broke the hug first. "Let's get inside and get some sleep. Thing's will be ok, Eddie. You have my word."

Edward nodded and let Jasper lead his exhausted self into the house.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Charlie Swan rocked slowly in the old chair, watching his daughter sleep fitfully in her bed. He wanted to kill Edward for upsetting her like this, wanted to pull the old shotgun from his closet and just fill that Cullen boy's pretty face with buckshot. But he wouldn't, of course. He knew better. This was all part of growing up. Perhaps this was the 'pain' portion of growing pains. He knew not to interfere. He knew how Bella felt about Edward, and he knew Edward felt the same. His part in all of this was to be there, to lend an ear and listen, to open his arms and hold her when things were at their darkest.

This was something the two of them would have to work out for themselves, he knew. And he was positive that they would work it out. By this time Sunday night, Bella would be sleeping with a smile on her face, dreaming of her beloved Edward. Probably mumbling his name in her sleep like she always did, instead of 'Victoria', like she was now.

He'd heard the whole conversation. Not that he was listening. But the walls in the old house were paper thin, and sound traveled. Well, sound traveled and it didn't hurt to lower the volume on the flat screen tv. He knew that Edward's words had hurt his daughter, but he also knew her reaction had hurt Edward.

He felt at odds with himself, old Charlie Swan did. How could he not? He understood Bella's point, because it did sound like if made to choose, Edward would always choose Victoria. But, there had to be more to it than that, Charlie knew. Edward Cullen wasn't the kind of kid to intentionally hurt anyone, let alone a girl he was crazy about. He just felt it in his bones that Edward's intent was not to destroy his daughter.

Bella stirred and Charlie stopped rocking, watching as she twisted under the sheets, mumbling 'No…don't go…' as she did. He knew she was dreaming of Edward, and he frowned. He wished he could take her pain away, set everything right with Edward. Wave a magic wand and POOF! It's all better now and we live happily ever after.

But he knew he couldn't.

No, she would have to go through this, go through the anguish that was high school and romance and…love.

Love.

It was a four letter word, it was. And it was, in his estimation, the worst of them all.

No one knew that better than Charlie. How could he even try to council his daughter and give her advice on her relationship with Edward, when he himself was, as he'd heard Bella say so often, an 'epic fail' at love and relationships?

Besides, he trusted Bella. She had a good head on her shoulders. She knew what she wanted. She knew her limits. She was far more mature than most other kids her own age, Edward included. Although, if he were being fair, he would note that Edward had made several profound statements tonight that he knew had been lost on his daughter in her devastated state. Edward, at least, seemed to understand what love was supposed to be.

He looked out the window. It was another gray and overcast day in Forks. He was sure that when she finally woke up, Bella's disposition would match the weather's. He wasn't about to wake her up any time soon, either, considering she'd finally cried herself to sleep only a few hours before. He'd felt so helpless. All he could do was sit on the bathroom floor and hold her. Hold her while she gasped and sobbed and clutched at his shirt, tears soaking through the thick flannel. In that moment, he'd never wished for anyone's head on a stick more than he'd wished for Edward Cullen's.

It was only after he'd carried her to her bed and tucked her in like he'd done when she was little, sitting with her and brushing the hair away from her face to comfort her, that he'd had a chance to calm himself down and reflect on what he'd heard. And he knew, just felt in his bones, that Edward hadn't said everything there was to be said.

Of course, if Edward showed up at the front door before Bella woke up, he would not allow him in. He would just tell him to grin and bear it. Go cool his jets and come back later in the day. And, what if he showed up at the bedroom window? Well…if he survived the fall, odds are Edward would definitely tell his father that the chief of police had pushed him, so that would be out of the question.

The doorbell rang as if on cue, and Charlie quietly sighed to himself as he got up, preparing mentally what he would say to Edward when they were face to face. He glanced at the glowing numbers of the alarm clock on Bella's night stand. Didn't this kid ever sleep?

"Hold your horses," he mumbled as he moved swiftly down the creaky old staircase. He pulled the front door open and rolled his eyes. "Now, look, kid…"

Esme Cullen stood before him, confused look on her serene face.

"Esme…I…I'm…Oh, won't you please come in," Charlie was flustered and embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I was expecting~"

"You were expecting my son," she smiled demurely at him as she stepped into the front hall.

"Uh…yeah," Charlie nodded as he looked down, feeling guilty for some of the things he'd thought about Edward earlier. "Come in," he motioned to the living room and Esme followed him in. "Sit, please. Can I get you a cup of coffee? I was just about to make some," he lied.

"Coffee sounds wonderful, Charlie. Thank you," she smiled as she sank down regally onto the sofa. He took the picture of her in. Esme Cullen, the very essence of refinement, sitting in her designer clothing on his worn old sofa.

He moved into the kitchen and fumbled with the coffee maker. "So, what brings you over here so early?"

"I wasn't aware that ten thirty was all that early, Charlie," she laughed softly. Esme was the kind of woman who could disarm any man with ease.

"Well, I've kind of been up all night," Charlie stood in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, leaning against the door jam ashe ran his hand through his dark, messy hair.

Esme nodded at him. "As have we. Carlisle and I," she sighed. "Edward was so upset. Angry, really."

"With Bella?" Charlie stood up straight.

"No, Charlie. With himself," she slid her French designer purse from her lap and laid it on the sofa next to her. "He'd tried to set things right, but only managed to make things worse. And it's his own fault, I'm afraid."

"I heard what he said, Esme," Charlie moved back into the kitchen, opening up a cabinet and taking out two coffee mugs. "I hope you like mugs. I don't have any cups and saucers or fancy china, I'm afraid."

"A mug is just fine," she called after him.

"How do you take your coffee?"

"Black, please," she crossed her legs at her ankles and graciously accepted the large white latte mug with the Starbuck's logo on it. "Thank you, Charlie."

"So," he sat down gingerly in his worn leather recliner, holding his steaming green cup with the silver sheriff's badge on it, emblazoned with the worlds "Worlds Greatest Dad" wrapping around the sides. "What brings you to the old Swan house on this grim morning?"

"Edward and Bella, of course," she said it as though it ought to be obvious to Charlie, which, of course it was. He just wanted a verbal confirmation of the situation.

"And…are we supposed to fix this?" He sipped his coffee, closing his eyes with relief as the warm liquid caressed its way down his dry throat.

"No, Charlie," she shook her head. "Edward is supposed to fix this. And he will. But I think Bella needs a little something extra to soothe her before she sees him again." She took a sip of the hot, black liquid. "This is very good coffee."

"Thanks, Esme. Good coffee important coffee is to us cops," he smirked and took another sip. "So, what is it you think Bella needs?"

"She needs to be made to feel special," she smiled at Charlie. For the first time, he could see the dark circles under her eyes, and the worry lines across her forehead. She loved Edward, he knew, and much like Charlie with Bella, Edward's distress was Esme's distress. "Something my son obviously needs to learn how to do, and he needs to learn it fast."

"So, that's the secret?" Charlie smiled in spite of himself.

"The secret?" She looked at him, confused.

"The secret to a long and happy marriage, like you and Carlisle seem to have."

"Oh," Esme Cullen blushed. "Well, yes, my husband does tend to make me feel special," she was flustered. "But, well, there's more to it than just that."

"But special doesn't hurt, right?" Charlie grinned.

"No, special definitely doesn't hurt," she blushed again.

"So, what do you have in mind to make my kid feel special?" Never let it be said Charlie wasn't sensitive to a woman's embarrassment.

"I made an appointment for us to have a girls day out. Mani-pedi's in Port Angeles, then lunch. That is, if you don't mind, Charlie." She took another sip of her coffee.

"No, of course not, Esme." Charlie took a deep gulp from his mug, regretting it almost immediately and wishing he had a napkin to wipe his moustache with. "It'll actually be good for her. Otherwise she would probably just mope around the house, waiting for him to call or something."

"Oh, he's going to call. He's going to apologize and he's going to set things right," she smiled at him. "Got something on the 'stache," and she waved her finger at him as if to illustrate. Embarrassed, Charlie hopped up from his chair and ran into the kitchen for napkins, returning quickly with a napkin for her.

"Thank you, Charlie."

"You're quite welcome." Was this what it felt like when royalty came to visit? He could easily envision Esme, in her fine clothing, sitting in Buckingham Palace, having high tea with Her Royal Highness, the Queen.

"There is no way that boy and his hormones are going to ruin my Thanksgiving. Excuse me, _our_ Thanksgiving…but it's really mine," she winked at him.

"Why, you little devil. Does Carlisle have any idea how devious you are?" Charlie chuckled.

"What Carlisle doesn't know won't ever hurt him, Chief Swan," she took another sip from her giant mug. "This certainly does hold quite a bit of coffee."

"Yeah, we're pretty heavy coffee drinkers around here," Charlie made a mental note to invest in some good china. The kind that came with matching cups and saucers. "You know…cops and their coffee," he laughed at his joke.

"Oh, please," she waved her hand at him, and he noticed the size of the diamond engagement ring she wore. Yowza. "My husband lives on coffee. I think if you took a blood sample from Carlisle, it would turn out to be one hundred percent caffeine."

The conversation was interrupted by the groan coming down the stairs.

Bella padded into the living room, hair in disarray, eyes still red and swollen from crying. She stood in the doorway, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Mrs. Cullen?" Her voice was still thick with sleep.

Esme stood, still holding on to the large coffee mug. "Bella!" Her voice was as bright as sunshine on a clear July morning. "Darling, you need to get ready! We have a busy afternoon ahead of us!"

"We…we do?" Her head and throat hurt, most likely from crying. She felt like she was hung over, but she knew otherwise.

"Yes, dear. You and I are going to have a little girl time this afternoon in Port Angeles. Manicure's and pedicures." Esme's serene smile never faltered.

Bella looked at Charlie as he nodded in agreement with Esme. "When…am I supposed to have known this?" She squinted at her father, confused.

"I just made the plans, Bella. If you're busy, we can do this another time," Esme tried to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"Bella has no other plans for today, Esme. She just needs to wake up a little bit," Charlie winked conspiratorially at Esme.

"Where's….Alice?" Caught herself. She didn't need to ask where _he_ was. She knew where he was…and where he wasn't.

"Alice still isn't very mobile, I'm afraid. That darn boot cast slows her down, so she opted to stay home," Esme sounded disappointed, but Charlie knew better than to believe her. He knew instinctively that Alice had never been a part of Esme's plan.

"She'll be disappointed she missed a day at the nail salon," Bella scratched her butt as she plodded heavily into the kitchen. Esme and Charlie exchanged glances, eyebrows raised.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Bella pushed the pasta around on her plate, never really piercing any of the penne with her fork. Esme had been wise and had chosen Italian over Chinese this afternoon.

"Is there something wrong with your food, dear?" Esme's voice was concerned. They'd had a pleasant enough time and the nail salon, and it looked like Bella really did enjoy the pampering, especially the foot massage. So much so, in fact, that Esme had insisted she have a nice hot stone back massage as well. She could tell by the look on Bella's face that it had served her well. But now, in the restaurant, Bella hardly touched her food.

"Um…no. It's fine, Mrs. Cullen," she nodded and popped a penne in her mouth, chewing slowly and smiling a false smile as she swallowed.

"Bella dear, I think we both know why I brought you here today," Esme pushed her half full plate back and folded her hands in front of her on the table.

Bella nodded. "Edward," she said his name quietly.

"No, not just Edward. _You_ and Edward," Esme's voice was gentle.

"With all due respect, Mrs. Cullen, I don't believe there is an Edward and me any longer," she swallowed hard, trying to prevent her voice from cracking.

"Then, with all due respect, Bella, I think you are incorrect."

Bella looked across the table at Esme Cullen. Her perfectly tailored black wool blazer matched her perfectly tailored black wool trousers perfectly. And the pristine gray silk blouse she wore beneath the blazer offset the stunningly perfect strand of pearls she wore, well, perfectly. The expensive black leather pumps on her feet were obviously designer and…perfect. Esme was everything Bella was not and never could be. Refined. Elegant. Tall. Beautiful. Perfect. Bella looked down at the loose gray turtleneck she wore with a pair of tight jeans and worn sneakers. She hadn't bothered to put on any makeup or fix her hair. She just washed it and pulled it back into a pony tail, the orange stripes making a haphazard pattern on her head.

"What…what makes you think that?" Her voice was small.

"Because Edward loves you. Because he was trying to make you understand his fears. Because, well, I love my son with every ounce of my being, but at times, Edward is a remarkably dense creature."

"He never mentioned any fears," Bella rested her elbow on the table and laid her head in her upturned palm as she pierced pieces of pasta onto her fork. She felt emotionally drained, although she couldn't help but notice that her nails were fabulous.

"I'm sure he didn't. He told you facts, but didn't tell you why he told you those facts," she shook her head. "Bella, my Edward is, sadly, very much like my Carlisle. They are both hopeless romantics."

"Pfft. Yeah, I learned that the hard way," she sulked.

"I've tried to explain to him that, sometimes, in love like in life, we need to spell things out. Make our intentions crystal clear. Unfortunately, Edward deals in opaque." She reached across the table, and touched the hand that held Bella's fork. "Don't give up on him, Bella. Allow him the honor of explaining himself more clearly."

"Mrs. Cullen…I…he…he said…w-when he…he was w-with…" she stammered. She hated it when she stuttered or stammered. It made her sound moronic and incoherent and stupid and she hated feeling that way. She closed her eyes, trying to gather her thoughts and, taking a deep breath, spoke again. "Edward told me how deeply in love he was with…her. He told me they ran away together. And he told me what…they did." She looked at Esme. "He still loves her, Mrs. Cullen. Where does that leave me?"

"First of all," Esme smiled at her as she pulled her hand back, playing with her perfect pearl earring. "He doesn't still love her. Edward's problem is closure. We left Seattle so quickly, that he never saw her again. She never tried to contact him either."

"How can you be so sure?" She hated how whiney she sounded when she said it.

"Because, dear, he is in love with you. He told me so himself," she smiled.

She swallowed hard and closed her eyes. "But he said he was in love with…_her_."

"_She_ is in the past, Bella. You are Edward's future."

"He would leave me in a heartbeat for her," Bella felt the all too familiar tears welling up in her eyes once more.

"Is that what he lead you to believe?" Esme looked surprised.

Bella nodded, wiping the tears that had spilled over from her cheeks. "He said that he was in love with her and he…he cherished the memories of it," she took a deep breath. "I'm nothing more than a consolation prize, Mrs. Cullen."

Esme looked confused. She closed her eyes and seemed to be having an internal dialogue with herself for a moment. When she opened them, her face had returned to its usual serene state. "Let me ask you a question. If Edward felt you were a…a consolation prize, as you put it, do you think that, for one moment, he would even care that you felt that way?"

Bella concentrated on Esme's face. "I…I don't know."

"Yes, you do. You know that if he honestly felt that way about you, he would have just shrugged and walked out of your life. But he didn't."

"He…he left." More tears spilled hot and wet down her cheeks.

"I know he did. And that was wrong of him. He needed to explain, but he was hurt by your reaction. I know it's not really an excuse, dear," she reached across the table and took Bella's hand in hers again, squeezing gently. "Let him come to you, Bella. Let him say his piece. Listen to him, and, please, remembering that he is in love with _you_, ask him to explain anything that's not clear. Communication is so important, dear. It can make or break a relationship."

Bella looked at the woman across the table from her. This seemed so important to her. Would she really have gone through this, spent an afternoon with her, if what she said wasn't true?

Esme squeezed her hand again. "Please, Bella. Promise me you will listen to Edward. Listen with you head _and_ your heart?"

Bella nodded. "I promise, Mrs. Cullen. I'll listen to what he has to say."

Esme smiled brightly at her. "Thank you. That's all I can ask of you. Now, let's get back to Forks, shall we?"

Esme paid the bill and drove her new gray BMW skillfully back to Forks. What was it about the Cullen's and their uncanny ability to drive so well?

They pulled up in front of Bella's house, and Esme put the car in park.

"Thank you for this afternoon, Mrs. Cullen. I really do appreciate it," she smiled slightly at her.

"You are so welcome, Bella. And thank you for hearing me out," Esme reached across the center console and hugged Bella tightly. "And, please, if you ever need to talk about anything under the sun, feel free to call me or come by the house, ok?"

Bella nodded. "I will, Mrs. Cullen," she opened the car door. "And, thank you so much."

"I hope I put your mind at ease a bit," Esme touched Bella's chin lightly.

"You did," she smiled a real smile for the first time since she and Edward had had their fight the night before. Was it really only the night before? It had felt to her like a thousand years had passed.

"Good luck, Bella."

Bella nodded and got out of the car, closing the door behind her and climbing the steps to the front door, feeling much lighter than she had when she had left. Esme revved the engine and pulled away from the curb as Bella stepped into the hallway, stopping short in the doorway to the living room.

Edward Cullen sat on the sofa, watching football with her father.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**A bit of a transitional chapter for you there. Esme is always looking out for her boy, isn't she? And Charlie, bless his heart, would love to mess up Edward, but he keeps his distance. Dont' we all sometimes wish parents would do that? LOL **

**Hopefully, we won't have any more weather issues and real life will let me work on the next chapter sooner rather than later! **

**Thanks again for reading and for sticking with my little story! Please review and let me know what you think :)**


	16. Chapter 16: Bonzo Goes To Bitburg

**Ok, my bad. Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. Real life struck yet again and gave me some writers block. It's not good to be aggravated when trying to write. Or maybe it's not good to try to write while aggravated? I swear, it's like The Fates get their jollies by making me miserable! Maybe I'm really one of the LOSTIES stuck on Craphole Island with Jack and Sawyer and Hurley? Mmm...Sawyer....uh...what was I saying? Oh yeah, sometimes, it feels that way!**

**Thanks to everyone who's stuck with my little story and to everyone who's reviewed it! I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate it!**

**The business side of things: Twilgiht, it's characters and it's situations, do not belong to me. They belong to that amazingly lucky woman, Stephenie Meyer. Because I have a black cloud hovering over my head, following me around everywhere I go, and everywhere she goes _she_ gets sunshine and rainbows...grrrrrr....**

**I hope you enjoy the latest installment....:D**

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Chapter 16: Bonzo Goes to Bitburg**

Both Charlie and Edward turned their heads toward the entrance to the living room when they heard her enter.

In light of the night before, neither looked at all uncomfortable with the other. In fact, they looked downright cozy, sitting back and relaxing while players in white and red flitted across the flat screen. She noticed that Edward had a can of Coke in front of him on the table, and that her father had the ever present can of Vitamin R.

"Bells, you're home," Charlie almost sounded disappointed.

"Yeah…it was just an afternoon, not forever, Charlie…" she stared at Edward, who was looking at her intensely from his seat on the sofa.

"Did you have fun?" Charlie stood up and stretched. Edward remained seated, staring.

"Mhmm," she nodded, slipping her jacket off and hanging it on the coat rack in the hallway. "It was a really nice afternoon." She held up her hands to show off her manicure.

"Very nice," Charlie walked over to her, taking her hand in his and examining her long, shiny red nails. "Just plain red? You usually have all sorts of designs and crap on them. You know, unique and artistic nails," he smiled.

She shrugged. "I just wanted to keep it simple, you know?"

"Yeah," he reached up and cupped her chin in his hand. "I know. Sometimes keeping it simple is best," he winked at her. "Well, you have a little visitor here," he waved his hand at Edward, who waved self consciously at her. "I need to run to the Thriftway because we are out of coffee, and you know how cranky we cops can get without our coffee," he smiled.

"Yeah," she looked up at him, and he smiled at her, nodding slightly, telling her silently that he knew she could do this. That she knew she could do this. That they both knew she had to do this. "Wouldn't want you getting cranky, what with that gun and all."

Charlie grabbed his jacket off the coat rack by the door. "Be back in a few minutes, kids. Edward, you staying for dinner?" He slipped his arms into the jacket nonchalantly.

He jumped at the mention of his name. He hadn't planned that far in advance, really. His length of stay in the Swan house depended on his ability to apologize and put things with Bella right. More than that, it really depended on her reaction to what he had to say.

"I…I think my mother is expecting me home, Chief Swan," his voice was quiet.

"Well, you can let me know later if you decide. We're just going to order in some pizza, so no rush, ok?"

"Thank you, sir."

"Be back in a few," Charlie opened the door and waved as he slipped out.

Bella stood in the doorway, wrapping her arms around herself. She tried not to focus on Edward as his green eyes bored into her.

"H-hi Bella," he stood up slowly, turning to face her.

"Hey," she waved her hand tentatively, but still didn't look at him.

"Um…we…we need to talk," he sighed as he ran his hand through his wayward copper tresses.

"Do we?"

"Yeah, we do." He dug his hands into the pockets of his well worn jeans. He was crumpled. His shirt was wrinkled. His jeans were wrinkled. Edward was never wrinkled. Well, not like this. For all she knew, his underwear were wrinkled as well. He looked as thought he'd slept in his clothes, even if the dark circles under his puffy red eyes told her he'd not really slept at all.

She leaned against the door jam. "I'm listening."

"Bella, I…I'm…," his voice trailed off and he closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. "I'm sorry about last night. I'm sorry for running out the way I did, without explaining why."

"No worries," she waved him off. "I understand."

"No, see, you…you don't." He shook his head. "I didn't really explain correctly."

"Your mother says you deal in the opaque."

"My mom's right," he shook his head. "Bella, I'm an idiot."

"Yeah, I got that. Got that loud and clear."

"I'm not going to say I don't deserve that, because I do. But, please Bella," he dropped his head down, and looked up at her through his long, lush lashes. "Please, hear me out."

"I told you, I'm listening," she adjusted her position against the wall.

"Please, come sit down?

She rolled her eyes and huffed out a breath of annoyance, flouncing over to where Edward stood and flopping down in Charlie's chair.

"Thank you," he sat down on the sofa, where he'd been sitting while watching the game with Charlie.

"Just…just speak, Edward." She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the high back of the leather recliner.

He took a deep breath and sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm sorry, Bella. My mother is right. I'm not…clear. When I speak, I guess…I dunno. I guess I get caught up in memories and that's what I did last night." He looked down at his hands and shrugged. "My brother Jasper? He reminded me that, well, life with Victoria wasn't all roses and sunshine."

"I thought she was perfect?" Bella's voice was bitter and flat.

"Because I wasn't clear. I can't lie. I was in love with her, but…but things were far from perfect. Not really the way I led you to believe. I never really communicated that to you." He took a shaky breath.

"No, you didn't," she snorted. "You left that part out."

"And I apologize for that. I'm sorry that my inability to see things clearly, or to speak them clearly, made you feel like…like…" he paused, not wanting to say it.

"Like the consolation prize. It's ok, Edward. At least I know where my place is in your world." Her eyes were closed. She felt exhausted, but at the same time, wired, like she could buzz around the room like a hummingbird.

"But, you don't," he turned and looked at her. "You are not a consolation prize. If anything, you're the grand prize, Bella. It's like, like I hit the PowerBall jackpot and won a hundred million dollars, except I'd rather have you than money. You are my life, Bella."

He heard her breath hitch, and he continued, his voice low. "Victoria was, well, she was controlling. And she was manipulative. She was used to having her way. And I was more than willing to give in to her and let her control me. But, I failed to mention any of that."

Bella let out a bitter, little laugh. "And yet, you'd choose her over me?"

"I never said that, Bella. Don't put words in my mouth, please." His voice was steady and low.

"You never said you wouldn't," she looked at him with hard eyes.

"And that was my mistake. Instead of denying any of this, I just left. I was so shocked, so hurt that you could even think that I would choose her over you," he ran his hand through his hair and swallowed hard. "It's you, Bella. It's been you since the minute you walked into biology. I would choose death before I'd choose anyone else. Don't you understand?" He squinted his eyes before closing them and leaning his head back on the sofa, breathing deeply. She could see how dark the rings under his eyes were. He looked like he'd aged ten years in just one night.

"But you said you loved her," her voice was small and unsure.

"Yes, I said that. Because it was true. I was in love with her." He turned his head slightly and turned his intense green gaze on her. "I told you, I can't say that I wasn't in love with her, because that would be a lie, Bella. I was in love with her. It happened and I can't ever take the things we said or did back. Just like I can never take back the way I felt about her."

"I understand that, Edward," her tone was harsh. "But it's the idea that you still love her that hurts me. Can't you understand that?"

"I never said that," he shook his head before fisting his hands into his hair and tugging on the glistening strands. For some reason, the pain on his scalp took away a little of the pain in his heart.

"Yeah, you did. You said you still had feelings for her." Tears started to sting at her eyes yet again…and just when the soreness from the tears of the night before were starting to go away.

"Feelings, yes. But love?" He shook his head. "I don't think so. I never got any closure, Bella. I never got to say 'Goodbye. Have a nice life.' I never got to end things." He closed his eyes again and took a heavy breath.

"Then you can't be sure that you don't still love her." Hot tears once again spilled down her cheeks. The thought of Edward not being hers made her feel nauseas again.

"Yes, I can be, Bella."

"How? How can you be sure if you never got your precious closure?" She slapped at the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Because I'm in love with you. And what I feel for you is so much more than anything I ever felt for her."

"Even when you were…" her voice trailed off. The thought of Edward, her Edward, loving anyone but her, being with anyone but her, made her sick to her stomach.

"Yes, even when we were…" he waved his hand. "I loved her, but…but it was a long time ago, Bella, and I was a different person back then."

"Then, if you feel so much more for me, why did you…" she stopped talking and shook her head. "Why was it ok to do it with her, but not with me?" She buried her face in her hands.

"Bella," he slipped off the sofa, and knelt on the floor in front of her, pulling her hands away from her face. "Don't you see? Don't you understand?"

"No," she shook her head. "No, Edward, I don't. Unlike you, I don't deal in opaque."

"I'm sorry, so very sorry, Bella. But, you have to understand. I'm…afraid now," his voice was soft and low as he hung his head, looking very much ashamed of himself.

"Afraid of what, Edward? Of me?" He looked at him, this poor, shamed, beautiful boy that she loved.

"I'm afraid of…of the humiliation, Bella. Not for me. For you. It's…it's very…" he sighed, closing his eyes, and breathing deeply through his nose. "When…when that door flew open, the fear and the embarrassment and the horror and the shame. All of that. Something personal and beautiful and intimate suddenly became…shameful." He looked up at her, his sad green eyes seeming to melt. "I don't want that for you. I want beauty and splendor and…and…euphoria. Not regrets and…no shame."

"Oh, Edward, how could I ever regret or be ashamed that I made love with you?" Fresh tears fell down her cheeks and he reached up, gently wiping them away with his soft fingers.

"You don't understand the shame that I felt. The hurt. The way my parents looked at me…" he looked down as his cheeks flushed at the memory. "I felt like I let them down. I let Victoria down. We had to leave Seattle. I…I let everyone down."

"You didn't, Edward. You were…just being a teenager in love," she smiled a sympathetic smile at him.

"But…the guilt. The guilt stays with you," he nodded as he spoke.

She slid from the chair onto the floor next to him, wrapping her arms around him. "You have nothing to feel guilty about," her fingers found his hair and he closed his eyes, sighing contentedly as she twisted her small hands into his wild russet locks.

"If anything like that ever happened to you, I couldn't live with myself, Bella. I mean it when I say I love you." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. They sat there on the floor, wrapped around each other.

"I know you do, Edward. And I love you. So, if it makes you feel better, we can wait," she kissed his lips lightly.

"You'll be ok with waiting?"

"Now that I understand why you feel the way you do? Yes, I am," She slid her lips lightly down his neck.

He let out a breath. "Thank you," he kissed her gently on top of her head. "I'm so sorry that I upset you. I'm sorry that I was the cause of your tears," he rested his forehead against hers.

"I was the cause of my own tears, Edward," she shook her head. "As always, I just…jumped. I jump blindly. Into…things, to conclusions…hell, I almost jumped blindly off a cliff because someone suggested it to me."

"No you didn't," he let out a soft chuckle.

"Oh, I almost did," she leaned back from him and he brushed some wayward strands of hair that were stuck to her damp cheeks away. "Over in La Push, they cliff dive. Jacob Black took me to watch them when I first got here, and he said I should try it. I just started taking my boots off and getting ready to…well, jump off the cliff," she shrugged her shoulders and grinned sadly at him.

"When was this?" He squinted his eyes, examining her.

"My first weekend here. Charlie and I went out to visit the Blacks in La Push."

"And Jacob Black~he's the delinquent, right? He took you cliff diving?"

"Yes~No," she shook her head. "Yes, he's the delinquent, but he's not really. He's just sort of confused and misguided. But yeah, he took me out to watch a bunch of guys cliff diving, not to actually cliff dive."

"But…you wanted to?"

"Oh, Edward, it looked so thrilling!"

"And dangerous. Jesus, Bella, you do know that if you don't time it right with the tide you can be killed, don't you?" He looked at her, his face colored with concern.

"I do now. But at the time, it just looked so inviting."

"Promise me you won't be tempted to do anything stupid and reckless like that," his lips touched her forehead softly.

"I promise," she smiled.

He tightened his arms around her, holding her body tightly to his as they sat locked together on the floor.

"I love you," he murmured into her hair.

"I love you too," she whispered into his neck.

The door opened and Charlie sauntered into the room, several bags from the Thriftway in his hands.

"Oh, good. Things are all worked out," he smiled at them, curled up into one another on the floor, having known all along that they would indeed work things out. "So, Edward, pepperoni or sausage?"

Bella stood up, and reached her hand out to Edward, helping him up from the floor.

"Pepperoni is fine, sir," he whispered, shifting nervously as he stood holding Bella's hand.

"Calm down, kid. You make me nervous," Charlie walked through the living room and into the kitchen. "Either of you like root beer?"

"I do," Bella looked at Edward and smiled. At the very least, Charlie's calm demeanor should serve to show Edward that he was nothing like Victoria's uptight parents.

"Root beer is fine, sir."

"Good, because I bought us two six packs. And it was chilled," Charlie was sliding the cans into the open refrigerator.

"You know that small kid who stocks the soda, Edward?"

Bella led her boyfriend into the kitchen, still clasping his hand tightly in hers. "Alec?"

"I don't know his name, but he looks to be around twelve. He old enough to work?" Charlie closed the refrigerator door and tossed the empty plastic bags into the recycle bin.

Edward let out a nervous laugh. "He's a sophomore. He's fifteen, I think. He's old enough to work. Just looks really young."

"That he does. At first, I thought he was someone's lost kid," Charlie laughed. "Then I saw that he had a name tag on his shirt."

"Yeah, they make us wear name tags," Edward smiled as he started to feel more comfortable.

"Edward's says ''," Bella chimed in. "People call him Mr. Ward"

Edward smirked at her.

"Huh. You kidding?" Charlie leaned against the counter as he thumbed through the yellow pages. "Town this small and people don't realize that you're a Cullen?"

"People aren't always as observant as you are, sir."

Charlie turned around, an evil glint in his eye. Bella grimaced at the thought of what was to come for poor Edward.

"Look, Edward, is it safe to say you're going to be around for a while?"

"I…I guess so. It's Saturday, so I don't have to be home until midnight~"

Charlie cut him off. "No. No. No," he shook his head. "Damn, Bells, but your boy _is_ dense!" She smiled back at him and shrugged. "I mean, is it safe to say you are going to be with my daughter for a while. You know, dating her? That the two of you aren't breaking up. Not any time soon, anyway?"

Edward stared at him, a fearful look on his face.

"I don't mean 'be with' in the Biblical sense, son." Charlie shook his head, letting out a low laugh. "Damn, Bells, you can find them!" He smiled at his daughter who giggled as she tightened her grip on her boyfriend's hand.

"No, sir. I believe we established that~"

"Edward, are you dating my daughter?" Charlie stood straight with his hands on his hips.

"Y-yes, sir." Edward's emerald eyes were huge.

"Then stop calling me 'sir' and 'Chief' and call me Charlie like everyone else in this God forsaken town does."

"Yes, sir...I mean Charlie."

"That's better. Now, help my girl set the table. I'm calling in the pizza order," he picked up the phone and began to dial. "Plain cheese for the vegetarian. And…meat for the men. You sure you don't want some nice savory ham or spicy sausage on yours Bella?" He winked at Edward, who smiled back nervously.

"Ugh. Charlie. You're just gloating that you have Edward here to share your meat pie with." She let go of Edward's hand and grabbed three pink placemats from the counter as Edward grabbed the plates from the cabinet. Silently, they set the table, moving in perfect harmony as Charlie ordered their dinner.

**~*~*~*~*~***

Charlie leaned back in his chair and rubbed his full stomach. "I tell you what, that there is the best pizza this side of New York!"

"You've never even been to New York, Charlie, so how would you know?" She shook her head. "Watch out, Edward. If that button on his jeans goes, it's going to be lethal." Charlie snickered and undid the bulging top button on his jeans.

"We had some pretty amazing pizza in Chicago, Chie-Charlie," he caught himself.

"You have that deep dish crap, right?" Charlie leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table.

"Yes, sir-Charlie," he nodded. "It's thick, and chewy and just so gooey," He closed his eyes and smiled at the memory, his mouth watering.

"Do you miss it?" Bella looked at her boyfriend, caught up in another memory now. This one much safer than the last.

"Sometimes, I crave it," he smiled. "Sometimes, I just want to grab Dad and drive all night to get one."

"Have you ever?" Charlie smiled at him.

"Nah. My father likes this pizza from Cucina Volturi so much better than Pizzaria Uno in Chicago," Edward smiled a genuine smile at Charlie.

"But you prefer Chicago deep dish, huh?"

"Yeah," he played with the crust in his plate. "It was always a treat for me to go there. That's where I always had my birthday dinner." He smiled at the memory.

"Do you miss Chicago, Edward?" Charlie's voice was soft.

"Sometimes," he chewed on the crust absently. "I lived in cities so long that when it gets too quiet out here, I really wish I were home in Chicago. And, sometimes, I really miss Chicago when I think of my grandfather. Makes me a little sad."

"Carlisle's dad?"

"No, my real grandfather."

"Oh, I wasn't aware that you still had family in Chicago," Charlie looked surprised. Bella had never mentioned the details of Edward's adoption to him.

"My grandparents got custody of me after my…my real parents…," he sighed and ran a hand through his wild bronze hair, closing his eyes and swallowing hard. "My mother died of a drug overdose when I was six. My father, who was also a doctor, went to jail for her death and died in prison. My father's parents took custody of me, but by then, Grandmother had dementia and was put into a home. Grandfather cared for me as long as he could, but he was old and very ill himself." He opened his eyes and shifted in his chair uncomfortably as his clouded green eyes stared off into nothing while he told the rest of his story. "Grandfather was on the board at the hospital that Carlisle was doing his residency at. He knew that the Cullen's were looking to adopt, and since he loved Carlisle so much, he approached him about me, and arranged for the adoption." Edward's face grew sad at the memory and Bella slipped her small hand over his, wrapping her fingers around it tightly.

"Edward, I-I'm sorry. I didn't know your circumstances." Charlie fidgeted nervously.

"It's ok, Chief-Charlie," he frowned. "It was a long time ago, and, truthfully? I love Carlisle and Esme, sir. They are my parents. They saved me."

"Huh. Is your grandfather still in Chicago?"

"No, sir. He passed away before we moved to Seattle. It was stipulated in the adoption papers that we would stay in Chicago as long as my grandfather was alive, so he could stay in my life as long as it was possible."

"Wow," Charlie stared at him in amazement. "I-I knew your parents were extraordinary people, Edward, with a huge capacity to love, but I had no idea how amazing they really were."

"You have no idea, Chief Swan," his green eyes blazed at Charlie. "My parents, my mother in particular, are quite possibly the most amazing people I have ever met." A crooked smile twisted his lips up. "I don't know if they could love me any more if I were their actual biological child."

Charlie pressed on, intrigued by Edward's past. "You say that Carlisle and Esme saved you…from what?"

"My grandfather was my only living relative," he sighed. "If he had passed while I was in his custody, well, I would have been placed into the foster care system. That was the last thing my grandfather wanted."

"You'd have come out like Rose, no doubt," Bella sniffed as she twisted her tiny fingers between Edward's long, slim ones. His hand was cold and damp, and she was worried her father's interrogation was making him uncomfortable. She'd only just gotten him back, and she didn't want Charlie ruining it for her.

"Rose is the bad egg, right?"

"She's done horrible things to both Edward and Esme, Charlie." Bella pulled Edward's hand off the table and onto her lap and ran her other hand soothingly over Edwards.

"She's…she's not a nice person, Chief Swan. My sister…it's…it's complicated." Edward closed his eyes and nodded.

"I'll bet," Charlie stared at Edward for a moment, noting how pale and fragile he seemed. Kid could obviously use a good night's sleep. And maybe even another slice of sausage pizza. "Speaking of your siblings, how are Alice and Jasper doing?" Charlie changed the subject abruptly.

"Alice is coming along. Her boot finally came off the other day, but now she's got an air cast and has to go to therapy three times a week," he smiled and chuckled. "And she still can't fit back into her shoes. Her foot's all swollen. It's killing her that she has to wear giant sneakers to school." A big crooked grin took over his face.

"She looks adorable, though," Bella added. "Actually, anything looks adorable on her. She's so tiny, like a little pixie. I hate her."

"A poison pixie. She's a menace," Edward couldn't help the huge smile that crossed his lips when he spoke of his favorite sister. "Barks orders at poor Jasper. We can't wait until she's back to normal."

"I love her. She's my friend, so leave her alone," Bella shot him a look.

"You only like her because she groped you," he turned to Charlie, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Halloween night, my sister just reached out and grabbed a hold of your daughter's…uh…boobs."

Charlie let out a loud guffaw. "You kidding? She felt Bella up? Tiny little Alice?" He chortled. "I didn't think she rolled that way!"

"She doesn't, but she has no limits, I'm afraid. It can be quite embarrassing if you're on the receiving end, right Bella?" Edward's grin was demonic.

"She's just a free spirit," Bella pinched the skin on the top of the hand she held tightly in her lap, smirking when he jumped.

"Damn, Bells. You must have enjoyed it, seeing how you're defending her and all," Charlie winked at Edward.

"Oh, she did. She did," Edward's wicked grin was wiped off and he winced slightly as Bella swatted his arm hard. "Hey!"

"Knock it off, Edward!"

Charlie snickered and cleared his throat. "And Jasper? How's the shoulder holding out?"

"Well, so far he's still having therapy and he's doing ok. They haven't ruled out surgery yet, but they want to try just therapy first, since surgery has such a long recovery time."

"Poor guy has to walk around school with that crazy sling on," Bella frowned. "His arm sticks out and people are always banging into him, which can't help."

"Well, on the bright side, he probably gets out of phys ed, I bet." Only Charlie could see the bright side of the situation.

"It's hard for them both, really," Edward admitted, "Alice limps along. Jasper has no range of motion, really. He's just kind of…there. It's taking a slight toll on them. And they never go out anymore. Just sit in the house. Alice was always so bubbly and social. Now she just…sits," he sighed.

"We should all go out one night, Edward. It would do them good." She looked up at her boyfriend, smiling at her own idea. "Go out to eat and take in a movie after. How about tomorrow afternoon? Are you working?"

"That's a good idea, Bells. You can all go for burgers." Charlie grinned as Edward snickered at her.

"As much as I'd love to go for burgers with you," Edward and Charlie exchanged narrow eyed glances, "I have to work tomorrow. But we can make plans for next weekend. Say, Saturday night. We can go to the Cattleman Steakhouse, ok?" Charlie let out a whoop of laughter as Edward sat giggling.

"Ok, the two of you have to be kept apart now. Because, together? Yeah, you're pure evil," she huffed and shook her head slowly as she dropped Edward's hand onto the table and scooted her chair back, getting up and stretching. It had been a long day. She was tired and full of pizza and still wearing the loose sweater and tight jeans with no makeup that she'd worn on her afternoon of pampering with Esme. It was a very un-Bella outfit, and Edward had not made a single comment about it. _He must really love **ME**_, she thought.

"So, you crazy kids have any plans for tonight?" Charlie broke the short silence.

Bella gave Edward's arm a parting swat as she leaned over and began clearing the dishes from the table. "Nope. None. You?"

"Not me," Charlie pushed his chair back from the table and leaned back. "Edward, you want to watch one of my daughter's billion dvd's?"

Edward smiled, his beautiful green eyes sparkling with mischief as he stood up to help Bella clear off the table. "Come to think of it, I could stand to watch that Harry Potter movie…which one was it again, Bella?" He smirked.

"Oh, shut up. We are so not watching that again, Edward!" She soaped up the dish in her hand.

"I think your dad would like it," he began to dry off the wet dish she handed him.

"What would I like?" Charlie was clearly intrigued.

"Bella's favorite Harry Potter movie. Actually, the _only_ Harry Potter movie that even lives in her huge inventory of dvds." Bella flicked water at him and he giggled, ducking to avoid the spray.

"Sounds good. Those movies make a fortune at the box office, so they have to be pretty good, right?" Charlie watched his daughter and her boyfriend with wonder as they moved in perfect harmony while doing the dishes.

"We are not watching it, Charlie," Bella's voice was firm.

"Why not?" _There must be something to this_, Charlie mused.

"Because Edward will just tease me to death over it, and he'll get you to join in and the two of you will get your freakin' jollies over making my life miserable," she stopped washing the dish in her hand and turned to face her father. "You two are starting to gang up on me and it's not fair," she whined.

"Pffft. We aren't ganging up on you, are we, Edward?" Edward smiled and shook his head as Bella huffed at him. "No, we just have a partner to share our jokes with now!" Charlie stood up and went into the living room, leaving Bella and Edward to finish putting the newly washed and dried dishes into the cabinets.

"Which one is it," he called into the kitchen as Bella flicked more water at Edward while she washed out the sink.

"It's called Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," Edward called out to him, laughing as Bella yanked the dish towel out of his hand and swatted his ass with it.

"Why don't we watch Die Hard, Charlie," she called into the living room after him. "You love that movie."

"Nah, Edward has me intrigued now, Bells. I want to see exactly why you seem to like this movie so much!" She could hear the laughter in his voice and felt her pale face redden with embarrassment. Edward would tell him. Of course he would. Edward was a damn brown noser of the highest order when it came to her father. And then? Well, then the two of them were going to totally enjoy tormenting her for the rest of the night over it. If it even stopped at the night. She could envision Charlie ragging on her over it for the next week!

"Pay careful attention to the character of Cedric, Chie~Charlie." Edward instructed as he stood behind him, looking over his shoulder as Charlie searched the rows of dvd's for the movie. "There it is!" He pointed to the shelf below where Charlie had been thumbing through the cases. "She moved it from where it was last time. Thought she could hide it from us," he snickered.

"Oh, so it's this Cedric fellow that's got her all hot and bothered? What's so appealing about him?" Edward shrugged as Charlie pulled the dvd from its spot on the shelf and popped it into the tv before settling back in his chair. Edward made himself comfortable on the sofa, and patted the spot next to him for Bella to sit down. She sat down next to him, but not nearly as closely as he would have liked. She folded her arms over her chest in annoyance, sitting as rigidly as poossible as Edward's arm attempted to wrap itself around her shoulder and draw her closely up against him.

Charlie clicked the remote. "Ok, let's see what's so special about this Cedric character."

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

The door closed quietly behind him, the lock making a loud click as he turned the key, securing it tightly. He moved quietly through the dark house, holding his breath and hoping not to encounter anyone.

What had started off as one of the top ten worst days of his young life, a life that had seen more than it's fair share of worst days, had ended on a high note, with pizza and movies and laughter and a sweet, emotional kiss as the cherry on top.

Bella had understood. Chief Swan~Charlie~wasn't looking to poke his head on a stick and parade around downtown Forks with it. If he could just make it to his bedroom without confrontation, without encountering anyone on the second floor, if he could just get past his parents room, he would be home free and this would be a top ten best day.

He passed the dark second floor landing, sighing with relief as he noticed all the bedrooms were dark and quiet. He moved slowly up the stairs to the third floor, hoping against hope that his parents were asleep. It was a quarter of one, and he was forty-five minutes past his curfew. He knew he would be in trouble if he were caught.

Light spilled out of Carlisle and Esme's bedroom suite and lit up the entire third floor landing, as it always did when he was late. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, walking into his parent's bedroom with slumped shoulders.

"Edward," Esme breathed as he shuffled into the room, head bowed contritely.

"Edward," Carlisle's face filled with relief. "We were so worried."

"I…I'm sorry," he hung his head.

"You weren't answering your phone," Esme moved to him, pulling him into her arms. He wrapped his arms around her back tightly, resting his head on her slender shoulder and sighing.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I left my phone in the car by accident. I wasn't really thinking when I got to their house. I'm sorry if I made you worry," he murmured into her neck.

"It's ok, darling. You're home now, and safe. That's what matters." She pulled out of the hug and ran her hands down his arms as if checking to make certain her son was whole. She then clasped his cheeks between her hands, her eyes meeting his, and smiled. "Come," she whispered, taking his hand and pulling him to the bed with her.

"Fifteen more minutes and we were going to call Charlie," Carlisle followed them, sitting down on the edge of the bed along with his wife, Edward between them. "We feared the worst, son," his brow furrowed.

"I'm really sorry, Dad," he looked down at his hands, clasped tightly between his mothers, her freshly polished nails a reminder of the great lengths she had gone to in order to ensure his happiness. "We ate pizza and then Chief Swan wanted to watch a movie, and, unless you've ever actually watched a movie with the chief, you just can't possibly understand what it's like."

"So, does this mean everything worked out ok with Bella?" His mother's eyes searched his face.

"Yeah," he smiled. "She totally understood everything."

"Oh, sweetheart, that's wonderful!" Esme kissed him on his cheek. "I told you everything would work out if you only explained things clearly, didn't I?" She gently tugged on his stubbled chin.

"Yes, you did," he smiled at her. "Thank you so much for your confidence in me, and for helping me out today." He leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Baby, you know your father and I will do anything for you."

"I know, Mom."

"I'm just glad this is over. I'm not sure how much more of your angry pounding that poor piano could take," Carlisle tousled his hair.

"Thanks, Dad," he smiled. "And I really am sorry about the time. We started watching this movie that should have taken like, two hours. But Chief Swan, oh my God! He's got to stop, go back, watch it again, and then decide if it's plausible or not," he closed his eyes and shook his head. "He examines everything for validity."

"What movie were you watching? Some mystery or crime drama?" Carlisle's eyebrows knit together with curiousity.

"No way. It was some stupid Harry Potter movie. Bella has a thing for the guy in it," he smiled at his mother. "She thinks I look like him a little."

"Don't be silly, Edward. You look nothing like Harry Potter, sweetie." Esme laughed as she smoothed a wayward lock of hair from his face.

"You don't even wear glasses," Carlisle let out a loud laugh.

"No," Edward snickered. "Not Harry. This other character. He was only in this one particular movie, and then he dies in it. But, apparently I'm going to have to go see the stupid Teenage Vampire movie they are making with her now, because he's in that."

"These are the sacrifices we make for love, Edward," Carlisle put his hand on Edward's shoulder, trying desperately to keep a straight face.

"I doubt Mom made you sit through bad movies, Dad."

"Oh, but she did. Your mother had it bad for a certain actor," Carlisle grinned playfully.

"Who?" Esme shot back.

"What was that guys name? He made those movies with that little Danny DeVito fellow?" Carlisle frowned as he tried to think of the actor's name.

"Oh my…Michael Douglas," the color rushed to Esme's cheeks, flushing them a beautiful rose color.

"Mom!" Edward looked at his mother, shock forcing his mouth to hang open.

"Darling, I'm only human," she shrugged. "And don't let your father fool you. He enjoyed Kathleen Turner in those movies maybe a little bit too much himself," she winked at Carlisle.

"Ok," Edward stood up from the bed. "This is my stop. I'm getting off the 1980's way-back train."

"Wimp," Carlisle smiled.

"Yeah, well…hey, I'm really sorry if you were worried," he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm gonna get to bed. I didn't sleep last night, and I'm starting to come down from my Harry Potter high," he blinked his eyes hard, reaching back to scratch the back of his neck.

"Good night, sweetie. Sleep well," Esme stood up and wrapped her arms around him as he kissed the top of her head.

"Night, Mom. I love you," he smiled at her. "Sweet Michael Douglas dreams."

Esme smacked his black leather jacket lightly. "Get to bed, mister."

Edward laughed lightly. "Night Dad," he threw an arm around Carlisle's shoulder and hugged the older man tightly. "And thanks. I really do love you guys."

"We love you too, Edward," Carlisle walked his son to the door with his arm around his shoulder. "I'd wish you sweet dreams, but I'm sure you'll sleep like a log whether I do or not."

"I hope so," Edward laughed. He could feel himself crashing and he couldn't wait to get between the soft sheets on his big, comfortable bed, to dream of his Bella, hopefully with him and not with Cedric Diggory.

**~*~*~*~*~***

**See? Everything worked out in the end...or maybe just for now...you know how star~crossed some lovers can be....dun dun dunnnnn...**

***evil grin***

**Once again, a big thank you to everyone who's been reading this hot mess I'm making here. Reviews are greatly appreciated and actively solicited :D**

**I promise to try to get out from under my black cloud and get the next chapter up in a more timely fashion. The next few chapters...I expect them to be doozies....**


	17. Chapter 17: I Just Wanna Have Something

**First off, thanks to everyone who's stuck with me through this. I know I'm a tad on the slow side with updates, so, consider this chapter a little 'gift'...because things are going to get a little dark from here on out...dun dun DUNNN... :D**

**Business as usual: Twilight, it's characters and it's situations belong to Stephenie Meyer, who I really wish would write a saga based on Carlisle's adventures before coming to Forks...so, if you happen to be perusing fan fic, Steph...think about it, ok?**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter...and if you do...let me know! I love getting feedback from you!**

**Enjoy....**

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Chapter 17: I Just Wanna Have Something to Do**

Charlie stood outside her door, hesitating. He wasn't sure if he should knock or not. He sighed, realizing that it didn't really matter. Either way, he was going in. He knocked softly on the door.

"He's not in here, Charlie," she called out before she opened the door. She opened the door and stood in the doorway, one hand on the door knob, the other on her hip. "He had a curfew, remember? The one you made him miss?"

"I…I wasn't looking for Edward," he stammered.

"If you weren't looking for your new boyfriend, then what were you looking for?" She turned away from her father, padding back to her bed, the long hem on the black flannel Hello Kitty pajama pants slipping under her bare feet as she walked, and went back to turning down her bed.

"You," he leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms across his green flannel clad chest. "I just wanted to see~hey…what do you mean _my_ boyfriend?" He scowled at her.

"Oh my God, Charlie! Are you blind," she shook her head and laughed. "Actually, a blind man could even see that you and Edward are in love with each other," she batted her eyelashes at him.

"Hey, we aren't in...we…we just…I dunno….bonded?" Charlie looked down at the floor as he scratched the back of his head. It was true. Somewhere along the way, Edward and Charlie had indeed bonded. There wasn't anything tangible that he could put his finger on that marked the occasion. Rather, it was just there. Poof! There it was. Bond. It could have happened while they watched football in the living room, awaiting Bella's return from her afternoon of girl time with Esme. Or, maybe they bonded over the meat on their pizza. Or, as Charlie suspected, it occurred magically during Harry Potter, the moment Bella's beloved Cedric Diggory appeared on the screen. By the time old dead Ced's pale body popped back to Hogwarts with the sobbing Harry clutching him, it was a done deal. Edward and Charlie were standing in front of the television, holding on to one another, as they pretended to sob over the loss of the most perfect boy wizard to have ever walked the hallowed halls of Hogwarts. Poof. Bond. "So…so we had some fun together," he stammered. "It's no big deal. In fact, you should be happy that your father likes your boyfriend so much, Missy. Most girls your age would kill for that, you know," he shook his finger at her.

"Don't give me that. You're just happy to have another guy in this house so you can actually make fun of me without feeling so guilty," she glared at him. "And I can't believe the absolute pure joy that the two of you had laughing at me." She huffed as she fluffed her pillow.

"Now, Bells, we were just having fun," Charlie tried not to smile, but he couldn't really help it that he did. He really did enjoy watching that movie with Edward.

"What I want to know," she turned to face her father, folding her arms over her chest. "Is, which one of you was making the kissing noises when they were heading to the Winter Ball?"

"That," Charlie smiled, as he walked toward his daughter, "would be your boyfriend." He stood in front of her, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "I have to hand it to you, Bells. That boy has quite a sense of humor when he's not crapping his pants from worrying that I'm going to shoot him."

"I thought you loved making him crap his pants?" She glared in her father's direction.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. I mean, that fearful expression on his face is just precious. And hilarious. But I think, given the choice? I'd rather make fun of you with him," the ends of his moustache curled up into a devious smile.

She threw her arms around her father and hugged him tightly, much to his surprise. "Thank you, Charlie."

"For…what?" He returned the hug happily.

"For being there. For understanding. For understanding Edward," she let go of him and sat down on her bed, motioning for Charlie to do the same.

"Well, you have a good head on your shoulders there, Bells. I figured if you felt as strongly about that boy as you do, there had to be something good there." He put his arm around her. "And, now we know there was."

She smiled. "He's all good…except when he's making the kissing sounds at Cedric," she laughed.

"Oh, you gotta give it to the kid, Bells. That was damn funny!" Charlie chuckled softly at the memory.

"Ok, I'll admit it. _That_ was funny," she grudgingly admitted. "But, calling me 'The Widow Diggory'? That _so_ was not."

"The Widow Diggory. That was…inspired," Charlie reveled in the sound as he repeated it again. "The Widow Diggory," he smirked. "I gotta hand it to him. That boy's got a quick mind. Like I said, inspired." He smiled at her. "So, what's on your mind, kiddo?"

"What makes you think I have something on my mind?"

"You wanted me to sit down, remember?"

"Oh…yeah. Well," she swiped a hair that had fallen out of her ponytail aside. "I…I wanted to talk to you about what Edward and I talked about."

Charlie felt her body stiffen. "You don't have to if you don't want to, Bells."

"I wouldn't offer if I didn't want to," she replied. "I…I just thought you would want to know what he said." She looked down at her fingers as she twisted them around themselves.

"I do, Bells. You know that I'm interested in everything about you." Charlie looked down at her. She was so small, and in the baggy Hello Kitty pajama pants she wore, she reminded him of the little waif like creature who he would find curled up on the living room sofa in the mornings after sneaking down to the living room to watch TV and eat chips when she was with him on her summer visits.

"Well, then," she took a deep breath. "I want to tell you."

"I'm listening, Bells."

"Well," she bit her lower lip nervously. "He said I…I was the grand prize, Charlie," she smiled softly. "Not the consolation prize, like I thoght. I was like…like, a Lotto jackpot," her lips gave way to a big, toothy grin as she looked up at her father.

Charlie smiled back at her. "Smart boy."

"And…" she took a deep breath. "And he said he would always choose…me," she smiled as a tear slid down her cheek. "No matter what."

"I'm guessing that's a happy tear," Charlie wrapped his arms around his daughter.

"Oh, Charlie, you have no idea," she giggled as she rested her head against her father's shoulder. "I feel elated and…relieved."

"I'm sure you do, Bells," he pulled her tightly to himself. "I see the way that boy looks at you. I don't think he even notices that there are other girls in the world anymore," Charlie rocked her gently. "He's truly smitten, although he hasn't put you on a pedestal so high that you are beyond teasing."

"You just love that about him don't you?" She pushed out of her father's embrace. "You love it that he teases the crap out of me!"

Charlie held his hands out in front of himself as he shrugged his shoulders "Guilty as charged."

Bella squinted her eyes at him. "You are a harsh man, Charlie Swan. But I love you anyway." She kissed him lightly on his cheek.

"Well, that's a relief," he smiled as he pecked her on the top of her head. He stood up and headed for the door. "Sweet dreams, Bells."

"Hey, Charlie?"

"Yeah?" He turned and looked at her.

"You know how you're always saying there's more to what happened in Phoenix than what I tell you?"

"Yeah?"

"Well…you're right," she looked down at her hands, twisting them together in her lap nervously.

Charlie nodded slightly. "I know I am."

"And, well, you know how you always say I'll talk about it when I'm ready," she bit her bottom lip again.

"Yep."

"Well, I think I'm ready to talk about it," she sighed.

"Well, like I told you, I'm ready to listen." Charlie moved quietly across the room and sat in the rocking chair.

**~*~*~*~*~***

The full stock cart shimmied and jerked as he expertly maneuvered it down the narrow aisle, stopping in front of the condiments. Mayonnaise. Mustard. Pickle relish. His least favorite aisle to stock. He much preferred canned vegetables. He wasn't sure why.

Silently, he sliced the brown cardboard boxes open, and began to expertly rotate the stock on the shelf, moving the jars of mayo that were there already to the front of the shelf while backfilling behind it with the new jars, lining them up evenly, labels facing out. He hummed quietly to himself along with the muzak that was playing softly in the background over the Thriftway's speaker system.

"That one's a little crooked," a familiar voice teased.

He turned around, smiling. "Why, thank you, ma'am."

"You're quite welcome, Mr. Ward."

"So, what brings you to the Thriftway. No left over cheese pizza at home?" He leaned against the heavily loaded cart.

"I ate it for breakfast," she confessed with a sheepish look.

"Cold?"

"Nah, heated it up in the toaster oven. Charlie thinks its nuts."

"I eat it cold. I don't like to linger in the kitchen in the mornings," he smirked.

"I like to flaunt my insanity in Charlie's face," she smiled at him. "I call it an Italian Danish."

"A…what?"

"You know, like a cheese Danish? It's bread and cheese. Sometimes there's a fruit in it, like pineapple or cherry."

"I'm familiar with actual Danish, Bella," his green eyes danced with amusement as he took her in. She was back to being Bella again. He had enjoyed the few days after their fight and subsequent makeup when she dressed down, wearing jeans and sneakers, with no makeup at all. She was beautiful, regardless. But this…_this_ was _his_ Bella. The tight black denim mini skirt was worn with thick black stockings that had a hole just above the right knee. The Doc Martens were back as well. Her long hair was blown straight and the orange streaks framed her face. Her makeup was, as always, plentiful and meticulous.

"Then why'd you ask what it was?" She startled him back to reality.

"I meant an 'Italian Danish'," he rolled his eyes. "What the hell is an 'Italian Danish'."

"Oh, well, that's what pizza is. Or at least when you eat it for breakfast," she leaned on her cart. "It's bread with cheese and you do realize tomato is a fruit, right?"

"I'm very well aware of that fact."

"Oh. My. God. Stop rolling your eyes at me, you freak!" She smacked his arm lightly.

Edward giggled before leaning forward to plant a quick kiss on her cheek. "I've missed you this weekend," he sighed.

"Me too."

"Sadly, Thanksgiving is an eating holiday, so we're hellishly busy," he scowled. He'd rather be spending time on the sofa in Charlie Swan's living room, watching bad 80s movies, with or without Charlie. "I'll be working a lot between now and Christmas," he looked down at his feet.

"It's ok, Edward," her voice was soft. "The more you work, the more you make…the better gift I get for Christmas," she let out a wicked whoop of a laugh.

"Ha ha. Won't be so funny when I'm working so much I don't have time to go shop for you," he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Then I will happily accept your I.O.U, with interest, of course," she smirked as he rolled his eyes. "And stop rolling your eyes at me! I swear, , those eyes are going to just roll out your head if you keep that up!"

He laughed softly at her mock anger. "So," he went back to the box containing jars of pickle relish he had just slashed open. "What really brings you here?"

"I'm looking for stuff for Thanksgiving."

"Thanksgiving?" He lined up the labels on each jar he placed on the shelf so that each one faced out, jars standing in a uniform fashion like soldiers standing at attention.

"Yeah, Thanksgiving. You know, fourth Thursday of November? The day we celebrate the Pilgrims and the Indians making a big, peaceful feast? Turkey day? Gobble gobble? Macy's Day Parade? And, if you're Charlie, Football day."

"Um, guess what? I know what Thanksgiving is too," he turned and gave her a big, cheesy grin, his sparkling green eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Then why did you ask," she huffed, feigning irritation.

"Why are you so literal?"

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. "Seriously, Edward."

"But I thought that you and Charlie coming over for Thanksgiving?" He broke down the now empty relish box and tossed it on top of the other now flat boxes on the floor. "Has something changed?"

"We are coming over. Nothing's changed." As if she'd ever pass on the chance to spend time with him. "But we can't expect your mom to cook everything."

"My mom loves to cook. Besides, Dad and Alice help her." He flicked his wrist quickly and another box flopped open.

"But we can't come empty handed," she protested. "And, since Thanksgiving is Thursday, I have to figure it out, like, now."

"You don't have to bring anything but yourselves, Bella," he smiled.

She shook her head. "No, we really do. We can't walk in with nothing like we were raised in a barn or something."

He snickered. "Ok, then why don't you bring a vegetable & dip platter? We have them already made up over in produce. I'll pick one up Wednesday and bring it home for you, ok?"

"No, Edward. It wouldn't be the same," she shook her head.

"Then, what do you want to do?" He ran his hand through his hair as he took a deep breath. Once she set her mind to something, he knew he'd be hard pressed to change it.

"I want to make some stuff. I want to…to help," she pleaded with her eyes.

He looked at her earnest face softly. "Ok," he sighed. "How about you bring something for desert? Pick up a pie over at the bakery department?"

"I can actually make an apple pie. I have an awesome recipe," she beamed.

"That's perfect," his crooked smile made her sigh to herself. So beautiful, and he was all hers.

"And I was going to make these artichoke heart things I saw on Food Network," she furrowed her brow as she thought. "I printed some recipes out and brought them with me." She opened up the ever present black messenger bag and foraged around inside for a moment before pulling out a clump of tattered sheets of paper. "I think it was that Barefoot Contessa who made them. Or maybe Giada?" She shuffled through the papers thoughtfully. "I have to get breadcrumbs."

"Bella, don't go overboard," he laughed.

"I'm not. I just want to help."

"Ok, but, really, that's enough."

"And stuffing. What kind of stuffing does your mom make?" She studied his face. He hadn't shaved for a couple of days, and the russet scruff that adorned his strong jaw was sexy as hell. It made her want to run her tongue along the sharp angles there, making him groan.

"Um, I think it's…it has…it's…there's some…uh…," he stammered.

"Is it cornbread stuffing?"

"I know there's bread of some sort in it," he offered lamely.

"Sausage?"

"Uhh…"

"Do you eat it?"

"Yeah, I do."

"But…you don't know what's in it?" She gave him a sharp look.

"Bella, I don't care what's in it. It's good and I eat it," he shrugged.

"Maybe I'll make some plain bread stuffing. Do you like cornbread?"

"Bella, how long have you known me," he shook his head.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot…you eat anything," she grinned at him adoringly.

"You want me to ask my mom what kind of stuffing she makes," he offered.

"Would you," she looked at him sadly. Of course he would. She looked like a sad little kitten. How could he refuse?

"Sure. I can call her right now." He looked around quickly to ensure the coast was clear as he pulled out his cell phone and hit a number. "Hi Mom, it's me….yeah…no, everything's ok. Look, Bella's here. She wants to make some stuffing for Thanksgiving and…yeah, I told her…No, she's insisting. I know…I know…she insists…no, she didn't like that idea…she wanted to make some stuffing…corn bread? Ok, so, regular bread stuffing? Uh huh…Ok, thanks Mom. I love you." He flipped the phone shut as Bella stared at him.

He smiled at her. "She said the only thing you have to bring to dinner is Charlie, but since you insist, she's making cornbread stuffing. So, you can make regular bread stuffing if you want."

"Thanks, Edward," she grinned at him. "Well, I have some shopping to do, so I better get moving."

"Yeah, I need to get back to work before Jenks starts riding me," he laughed.

She moved closer to him, bringing her lips so close to his ear that her hot breath made him shiver as she whispered seductively, "Hey, I thought I was the only one who was going to ride you."

He felt the color rising in his face, and felt what her tone was doing to his body. He pulled away slightly, sucking in air. "Bella…I'm at work!"

She threw her head back as her deep, throaty laugh escaped. "Oh, Edward, ya gotta lighten up! Just wait till I tell Charlie! He's going to pee!"

"Bella! You can't tell Charlie!" Panic took over his face.

"Oh please," she waved a hand at him and leaned up to place a quick, chaste kiss on his lips. "Charlie will laugh more than I did, and I was here."

"You really want him to kill me, don't you?"

"Sure, but not until after we're married. I'd rather be 'The Widow Cullen' than 'The Widow Diggory'. Flows better." She pushed her cart past him, and waved a hand behind her as she walked slowly down the aisle, wiggling her butt from side to side for show.

**~*~*~*~*~***

"I thought we were going to the Cullen's for dinner?" Charlie pulled out his usual chair at the kitchen table and flopped down into it, dropping the newspaper he was holding on to the table in front of him.

"We are, but I have to bring something. We can't just walk in there like a couple of empty handed mooks," she looked up from the apples she was slicing.

Charlie gave her a look. "I wasn't aware that we had that many pots," he nodded toward the pile of pots and pans sitting in the sink, waiting to be washed. "So, what are you making there?" He took a deep breath. "It smells fantastic, whatever it is."

"Well, so far, I've made some regular bread stuffing with celery and onions. Then I made these artichoke hearts with seasoned breadcrumbs." She slid the apples she had been slicing off the board and into a large metal bowl.

"So, veggie stuff?" Charlie flipped open the paper to the sports section.

"Well, yeah. I need to eat something too," she giggled, peeling a Granny Smith apple. "I also made these asparagus patties. So easy! I'm going to make them for us for dinner next week."

"Asparagus?" he scowled at her.

"You won't even know you're eating them. You put them through the food processor, then blend them with eggs and fry them." She struggled to core the apple. She'd been cooking most of the afternoon and this was the last thing she had to do. She would put the pie together, and bring it over to the Cullen's and bake it there tonight, since their oven was much more reliable than any appliance in the Swan kitchen. And, of course, the prospect of stealing some extra time with Edward while she was there was always appealing.

"Well, as long as it's fried, it has to be good," he grinned at her before turning his attentions back to his newspaper.

"I just love ," she smiled. "I hadn't realized how many really good meatless recipes they have on there."

"I'm happy for you," he snorted.

"Laugh if you must, but you don't even realize how many meatless meals you've eaten since I've been here," she dropped a carefully measured tablespoon of cinnamon into the bowl of apples.

"Well, Bells," Charlie stretched. "I guess I'm having the last laugh...because every day, at lunch, I eat meat!" His dark moustache curled up into an evil grin.

She shook her head. "I should have known. You and your boyfriend, Edward."

"Hey now, my boyfriend and I have a mutual respect for all meat," Charlie teased. "Did you make that pie crust yourself?" He watched as Bella spooned a giant gooey mound of apples mixed with cinnamon and sugar into a pie crust.

"No, it's frozen. Edward ran it by after school. The one I tried to make failed miserably."

"So…is this a secret?"

"Yes it is," she giggled. "Along with the fact that there are two kinds of apples in this pie."

"Two? Is that rare or special or something?"

"I'm not sure, but I used Granny Smith and Macintosh. You know," she rolled out the top crust for the pie as she spoke. "Sweet and tart." She took a paring knife and slowly cut the rolled out crust into strips, then began painstakingly weaving the strips on top of the apple mound in the shell until she began forming an intricate basket weave.

"I bet no one's ever had a pie this good," Charlie smiled as his mouth watered, the smell of her cooking hanging heavily in the kitchen.

"I wouldn't bet on it. Edward says that Esme is quite the cook." She cracked an egg into a small bowl and added a splash of water before beating it with a fork.

"Making breakfast too," Charlie teased.

"No, this is an egg wash," she took a new pastry brush that sat on the counter and dipped it into the scrambled egg, painting it along the woven crust. "It's supposed to make the crust all shiny and brown."

"Let me guess…Food Network?"

"Dot com," she finished for him.

"That's pretty awesome, Bells," he folded up his newspaper.

"I'm going to run this over to the Cullen's tonight and bake it there. Do you mind?"

Charlie looked up at her and grinned. Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail. While she still wore her full Bella makeup, she was wearing a pair of black leggings flecked with flour and a much too big tshirt who's faded lettering read FORKS POLICE DEPARTMENT under a smear of…something. He wasn't quite sure what it was she'd spilled on herself. Furry leopard print slippers adorned her feet, completing her outfit. Was it any wonder Edward loved her so?

"Do Esme and Carlisle know your plan?"

"Yeah, Edward ran it by them last night," she wrapped the uncooked pie tightly in tin foil.

"Well, ok then. Just don't stay out too late."

She shuffled over to the table and put the silver covered pie down, leaning over to kiss Charlie on the cheek. "Thanks. I'm just going to run up and throw on some clean sweats and sneakers. Be right down."

**~*~*~*~*~***

"Oh, Bella, that looks beautiful," Esme gushed as Bella unwrapped her creation.

"If it tastes half as good as it looks, it will be an awesome pie," Carlisle salivated.

"Well, if it doesn't taste good, blame Food Network," she teased as she slid the pie into Esme's new stainless steel wall oven. Everything about the Cullen's house was sleek, new and pristine. It was almost as if no one lived there at all. She set the timer for forty-five minutes.

"So, what can I do?" She looked around at Esme and Carlisle, both relaxed, sitting at the granite breakfast bar. Carlisle, with narrow reading glasses perched on the tip of his nose, was looking at the newspaper, much like Charlie had been earlier, except that Carlisle was reading the news instead of the sports. Esme had poured herself and Carlisle steaming cups of coffee and sat there, enjoying a sip as she looked at Bella quizzically.

"Do?"

"Yeah, I want to help for tomorrow."

"Oh, that's so sweet, Bella," she smiled. "But, everything that can be done tonight is already done, dear," Esme took another sip. "Why don't the two of you go up to Edward's room? I don't think he's ever shown you his room, has he?"

Edward had been unloading the dishwasher, and looked up, feeling slightly panicked. "I…um…why don't we go hang out in Alice's room?"

"Because Alice went to bed about an hour ago," Carlisle didn't look up from his paper as he spoke. "She had an intensive physical therapy session today, because of the long weekend, and she was just exhausted."

"Oh…uh…," he looked at Bella, swallowing hard. "Sure, we can go up to my room. It's kind of messy, but as long as you don't mind a mess…"

"Edward, you've seen my bedroom," she rolled her eyes. It was true. He'd been in her bedroom. He'd seen the piles of books on the floor, the laundry piled in the corner waiting to be washed, the light layer of dust that seemed to cling to everything, no matter how often she dusted. Worse than anything, though, he'd seen her bras hanging on the closet door knob. Her stretched out, faded and hole filled bras. She shuddered at the memory and made a mental note to order some new undergarments.

He put the last bowl in the cabinet, and closed the dishwasher. "We can listen to some music," he mused as he looked at the timer on the oven. "Pie won't be done for almost an hour. I want to introduce you to George Gershwin," he nodded his head in the direction of the stairs.

"Who's George Gershwin," she asked as she followed him up to the third floor.

"He's an early twentieth century American composer."

"Oh. I thought he was some friend of yours from online."

"Bella…" he stopped on the third floor landing, shaking his head.

"What?" She furrowed her brow.

"Nothing. There's just, well, there's so much I want to show you," he sighed, reaching up and gently pulling the scrunchie that held her hair back from her face. "Music is very important to me. I listen to all kinds of music."

"I know," she smiled at him, orange tinged hair cascading across her face in a wave. "I hear it all in the car, remember?"

"Yeah, but you've never heard the _Rhapsody In Blue_, have you?"

"I…who sings it?"

"Come on," smiling, he took her hand, leading her toward his bedroom. "I'll play it for you."

He closed the door behind them and flicked a switch, turning on a small lamp on the dresser, and led her to his big, overstuffed reading chair in the corner, motioning for her to sit down.

"This is my reading corner," he seemed almost shy to admit it.

She sat at the edge of the huge chair, looking around the dimly lit room, wondering where the mess he had mentioned was. Not a thing in the tastefully decorated room seemed to be out of place, not even on the wall across from the large windows, where Edward now stood, selecting a cd from the ceiling to floor shelves that were crammed full of books and cd's. In the middle of the shelving unit, sat a very high tech looking music system. Edward pushed a button and dropped the cd into an open slot. Within seconds, the room filled with the sound of a solo clarinet glissando that was soon joined by a jazz piano. Edward stood at the cd player, smiling at her. She'd never heard anything like quite like this. It was intricate and lively.

"What does it sound like?" He sat down on the edge of his bed, watching her intently as she listened.

"It sounds like…it sounds busy…like a big city!" Instruments began clashing together at a frenetic pace.

"The idea for the piece came to Gershwin during a train ride to Boston. It debuted in 1924, but it's really timeless," his eyes flashed in the dim light. "It's generally accepted that _Rhapsody in Blue_ is about New York City," he continued, "but, it can really be thought of as representative of any big city. For me, it's Chicago," he smiled his crooked smile at her.

She stood up from the chair and moved over to sit next to him on the edge of his bed. "It's beautiful, Edward," she shimmied up against him. "I mean, you can really feel the city. The pace, the sweetness, the harshness…it's…wow…" She leaned her head on his shoulder and he slid his arm around her, holding her tightly.

"Gershwin wrote some of the most amazing music of the early twentieth century," his voice was low.

"I take it he's a favorite of yours," she smiled against him. She didn't care what he talked about, as long as he held her like this.

"He is," he sighed. "His music is just inspired. I bet you've heard a lot of it and you don't even know it."

"It's possible. You'll have to play more of it for me some time," she looked up at him and ran her fingertips across his stubbled jaw.

"There's some other songs on this cd," his voice was husky as he looked down at her, licking his lips.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Kiss me?"

His lips were on hers with urgency, molding them to his. He sucked her lower lip in between his, finding her lip ring, and flicking his tongue against it. She groaned as he gently took the tiny silver ring between his teeth and tugged on it gently.

Sighing, they fell backward onto the bed, wrapping themselves around one another as they became lost in the sensations of each other's mouths. Her lips had parted for him as his hands slid up inside the back of her loose sweatshirt, feeling the warmth of her smooth skin. Her small hands fisted into his hair, tugging gently at the back of his neck as tongues twisted together. Edward groaned, rolling over onto his back and taking her with him, shuddering at the sensation of her breasts rubbing against his chest, her hard nipples poking against him as Gershwin swirled around them.

He nibbled on her bottom lip, once more tugging on the small ring there as the frenzied strains of the _Rhapsody in Blue_ played on, forgotten by the lovers in the throes of their passion. She straddled him, grinding her hips into his obvious arousal, moaning her pleasure as her hands traveled up under his shirt pushing the white tshirt up, long nails gently scratching a path through his soft tummy hair up into the wisps of hair on his chest. His hands slid down her sides and grabbed onto her hips, fingers digging into them.

"Bella," he groaned, pulling his lips away from hers and trying to catch his breath. "Please…"

"Edward," she sighed, leaning down and running her tongue along his jaw, the stubble tickling as she went. "I want you." She sucked on the soft, sensitive skin under his chin and his hips bucked against her. They groaned their pleasure together.

She slid her body down his, kissing, licking, nibbling, caressing his exposed skin as she went, until she was kneeling between his legs.

"Please," he moaned, breathing hard as he glanced toward the door. "Someone might come in." His fingers fluttered lightly up her body and filtered through her soft hair.

"No one's coming, Edward," her voice was soft as she ran her fingers lightly over his button fly. "Things are different now. I'm different. I'm not her. Edward, I love you. Let me do this for you. Please?"

He lifted his head, looking down at her pleading chocolate eyes with his own, dark, hooded ones. Yes, he wanted this, wanted her. Of that he was certain. It was time to stop over thinking things, he knew. Stop worrying about the past and embrace his future. Bella was his future. Swallowing hard, he ran his fingers down her cheek softly, nodding.

Her small fingers deftly popped the buttons on his jeans one by one, and he lifted his hips, helping her as she pulled his jeans and boxer briefs down, freeing him.

"Oh, Edward," she sighed as she ran her hand up and down his length. His hips bucked again and he let out a soft moan. They had both waited for this for what seemed like forever.

Her lips were on him.

He groaned softly, twisting his fingers through her hair as she moved, her tongue caressing and loving him.

His breathing quickened and he began to moan her name as her lips moved around him.

"Please," he begged. "I'm going…aahhh…Bella…" he sucked in a breath and hissed. It hadn't taken very long. "I'm going to come!" His grip on her hair tightened as she increased her rhythm, moving her mouth around him faster.

"Please," his breath was ragged. "I don't want to…aaahhh…I don't want to come in your mouth…Bella…" he began to moan incoherently as her long fingernails caressed the soft skin on his stomach. "Please…" Her tongue swirled over him.

"Bella…" he moaned as his climax took him, his fingers tightening in her hair as his muscles tensed and he shuddered. The room seemed to twist and spin around him, and light became dark, only to illuminate with a brightness much more intense than ever before. "I love you so much," he panted as he tried to catch his breath, coming down from the strong orgasm. He grabbed her arms, pulling her up and laying her down on top of his chest again, wrapping his arms around her lovingly.

"I love you too, Edward," she smiled at him, her eyes soft with love. His fingers traced the line of her jaw as he kissed her, plunging his tongue into her mouth.

"Ah," he sucked in a breath. "I can taste myself on you." He slid his tongue back into her mouth, twisting it around with hers.

"Did I please you," she pulled out of the kiss and ran her fingers through his hair, a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"Bella, you don't have to do…things to please me. Just being with you pleases me," he sighed, resting his damp forehead against hers. "But…yeah…that was amazing."

"And we all survived," she giggled, running her fingers down his chest gently.

"And we all survived," he smiled, closing his eyes. The music had changed and a soft, ethereal piano version of _Summertime_ filled the room as they lay together, listening to the sweet notes float around them.

"I think I need to go check on my pie," she finally pulled away sitting up on her elbows. "You might want to pull your pants up, you know," she giggled skittering to the edge of the bed as she watched him hop up, quickly adjusting his pants and buttoning them, smirking at her as he did.

He leaned down, putting one hand on either side of her, and kissed her tenderly. "Thank you," he breathed. "I love you…and…I owe you," his emerald eyes flashed mischievously at her.

"You're welcome," he took her hand and pulled her off the bed. "And, I'm going to hold you to it. You definitely do owe me." She slid her hands up his chest and wrapped them around his neck, feeling his hands slide around her waist as he pulled her close. They kissed softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," he sighed. "But I think I might love that pie more."

"So I'm going to lose you to a pie?"

"It's a definite possibility," his eyes danced as he looked at her. He couldn't remember ever feeling this way before. Not even with Victoria.

"Well, can a pie do this?" She wiggled her hips against him suggestively.

"No, but the pie can fill my growling tummy," he laughed. "Unless you burn it, of course."

"Honey, if that pie is burned, it was all for a good cause," she slid her fingers up into the hair on the back of his neck and pulled his head down, kissing him hard and long.

"We need to go check on the pie," his voice was thick with lust and she knew she wouldn't be waiting much longer.

~*~*~*~*~*

Yeah...I know..._**finally**_, right? :P

I might be wrong...but something tells me their happiness won't be long lived...

Now, I'm not much of a chef, and it's been a few years since I last baked an apple pie, but that _is_ how I make mine (Smith and Mac...awesome combo!)...but the timing on the baking might be a bit off. I even consulted as I so often do (so you see where Bella gets it from) and I came up with various timings on pie baking. So, I took an average. Be advised that pie cooking time is subject to how your oven cooks...mine's really slow LOL

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you did~or even if you didn't~please hit the little review button there and let me know. The only way I can tell how you feel about the story is if you let me know :D

Once more, thank you so much for all of your continued support!


	18. Chapter 18: We're A Happy Family

**Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! I'm really grateful to you all!**

**This chapter took a little time getting up because, well, it was a difficult chapter to write. I knew what I wanted to say, but, it was getting those emotions onto paper were hard. It went through three phases of editing, really, to get it to where I wanted it. I hope it conveys what I'm trying to say. I apologize ahead of time for using *that* word a bit, but I think in the context it's in, honestly, I think that's the reaction. Again, it's not my intention to offend, so I apologize.**

**Business: Twilight, it's characters and it's situations, are the property of the goddess, Stephenie Meyer. I can only hope to one day become a goddess like her.**

**Once again, thanks for reading!**

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Chapter 18: We're A Happy Family**

Charlie opened the back door of the police cruiser and laid the heavy tote bag down on the floor behind his seat, silently cursing the Land's End catalogue for making something that could hold so much.

"I didn't realize we were actually bringing the entire dinner to the Cullen's," he snorted as he slid in behind the wheel.

Bella sat in the passengers seat with her arms folded over her chest, sneering at him playfully. "Ha ha, very funny. I'm just bringing a few sides, Charlie. That's all. Like I said, we can't walk in empty handed. It would be bad form."

"Well," he clicked his seat belt closed. "All I can say is bring on the bird! No to-furkey!" She glared at him. "Oh, come on. You know you were planning on making to-freakin'-furkey," he laughed.

"But it's good for you," she protested. "No tryptophan."

"It's a gelatinous mess is what it is, Bells. I'll take the tryptophan and the coma that follows it any day over turkey flavored Jello, thank you very much," he started the car.

"You turkey killer," she grumbled.

"You get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" The windshield wipers squeaked over the windshield as Charlie pulled the cruiser away from the curb and slowly drove down the street. The cold November air had caused the rain on the roads to become slick.

"Nah, I'm just a little tired," she yawned. "All that cooking." The truth was that, after the evening they had, Bella had been up most of the night, sexting with Edward. They'd crossed a bridge of sorts, and all the pieces seemed to be moving into place. She wondered if he'd slept as soundly as she had, once she managed to actually fall asleep.

"Cheer up, kid! You get to spend the whole day with Edward," he laughed and took a deep breath, heaving out a heavily over dramatic sigh. "Oh, Edward."

"Oh my God if you and Edward embarrass me in front of Alice and the rest of the Cullen's, so help me, I will so kill you both!" She buried her face in her hands. "I mean it, Charlie Swan!"

"Ah, don't worry. I'll just follow Edward's lead today," his broad moustache twitched up at the tips.

"Hey, hands off my boyfriend, you hussy," she cackled as Charlie again sighed Edward's name.

"So, listen, last night Edward told me that Rosalie got her jaw unwired or whatever the hell it is they do to it when they, well, unwire your wired shut jaw," she shrugged casually. "And you know what a bitch she is," she looked out the window, watching the autumn colors passing by in a blur. "So, just…you know, watch yourself around her."

"People change, Bells. Maybe this whole episode has changed her. Maybe, with her seeing how much Carlisle and Esme really care for her, she'll soften. And seeing how nicely Edward has treated her as well." That was Charlie. A male Pollyanna if ever there was one. "Maybe she's like the Grinch and her heart will grow 3 sizes."

"Sounds highly unlikely, Charlie," she shook her head. "She's more like the Nightmare Before Christmas, if you ask me. This is real life, not Dr. Seuss. And, even so, still, approach with extreme caution. She's a viper."

"Duly noted," he stopped at a traffic light. "I have had more than enough Cullen drama to last me a lifetime," he smiled at her. "I only put up with it because it involved you. I won't take any crap from her though. So, yeah. I will tread lightly."

She looked at him, smirking. "How very big of you."

"Hey, I'm all heart," the light turned green and he pressed down gently on the gas pedal, moving them slowly through the slippery streets of downtown Forks.

Charlie had dressed up for the occasion of Thanksgiving dinner with the Cullen family. A pair of khaki Dockers she hadn't even realized he owned paired with a blue button down and a brown v-neck sweater. All three items had been wrapped in the dry cleaner's plastic. For how long, she couldn't be certain, but she was quite sure this was the first time she'd seen these particular articles of clothing since moving to Forks in September. On his feet he wore a pair of new looking reddish-brownish-blackish colored tassel Weejun loafers. She hadn't even been aware that they still made Weejuns, let alone that her father actually owned a pair of shoes that weren't steel toed boots. Charlie cleaned up nicely. His preppy look was in stark contrast to the black leather mini skirt that she wore with over the knee black leather stiletto heeled boots. Edward's favorites. She'd tossed a pair of plain black leather ballet flats in her messenger bag, just in case her feet hurt or the ground iced up.

She smiled to herself, anticipating the full day ahead with her Edward. They would set the table together to help Esme. And sit next to each other during dinner, stealing glances and holding hands under the table. Then, they would volunteer to clean up after the meal, sending everyone else to relax in the living room while they ended up spending a little time together alone in the kitchen. Then, when everything was done and the turkey naps had set in, they would steal away up to Edward's room, where they would finally be alone. And after the night before? Who knew where things would lead to tonight.

Charlie navigated the cruiser down a narrow winding country road on the outskirts of town until they came to the cut in the trees that marked the Cullen driveway. The gravel under the tires made a crackling sound as they bounced up and down toward the Cullen residence.

"I'll never know why they don't just pave this stupid driveway of theirs. I mean, you live all the way out here in the wilderness, the least you can do is pave," Charlie groused as he moved slowly up the driveway.

"They like it this way, Charlie. It's…um…quaint?"

"It's stupid is what it is," he smirked. He knew she was rolling her eyes at him and he laughed to himself.

The cruiser came to a stop in front of the massive white house. A huge basket of pumpkins and gourds sat on several bales of hay that had been placed up on the huge wrap around porch, with a scarecrow peeping out from behind them and much larger pumpkins lay scattered here and there among the straw.

"Would you look at that," Charlie mused as he threw the car in park and killed the engine, staring out the window.

"I bet that was Alice," Bella smiled as she opened her door, stepping out into the light, steady rain. "She likes crap like that." She got out and walked around to the driver's side, her heels making it difficult for her to balance while walking on the wet gravel.

"If she does this for Thanksgiving, what the hell does she do for Christmas?" Charlie got out of the cruiser and opened the back door, taking the heavy tote filled with Bella's contribution to Thanksgiving dinner out.

"I sure hope everyone's hungry," he grunted as he hoisted the tote up the steps to the front door.

Bella rang the doorbell, and seconds later, Edward's beautiful crooked smile greeted them.

"I was wondering when the hell you two were going to get here," he grinned as he stepped aside to let them in.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Edward," Bella paused to plant a small kiss on his cheek.

"Happy Thanksgiving to you too," he smiled after her as she walked into the large foyer.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Edward," Charlie walked in, leaning toward him with lips pursed as though he was ready to plant a big, wet kiss on Edward, causing the boys eyes to grow wide. Charlie grinned. "Take this to your mother," he laughed as he passed the heavy tote to Edward.

"What the hell?" Edward's body jerked forward from the unexpected weight.

"Your girlfriend thought the seventh fleet was coming for dinner," Charlie shook his head as he followed Edward as he made his way down the hallway, lugging the tote. "She wanted to be prepared."

"Everyone's in the living room," Edward motioned with his head for Charlie to join them before heading into the kitchen to relieve himself of the massive bag of food as Bella followed along behind him. "Go on in. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Charlie!" Carlisle stood up from the sofa, approaching Charlie with his hand extended as he entered the room. "So glad you and Bella could join us today," his greeting was genuinely warm.

"Carlisle, good to see you again," Charlie took his hand and shook it firmly.

"Can I offer you a beer?" Carlisle gestured to a side table where an impromptu bar had been set up. A large glass bowl filled with ice and cans of various brands of beer sat on amid vases of cut autumn colored mums. Charlie couldn't wait to see the house at Christmas. "Help yourself!"

"Well, don't mind if I do. I'm off duty, you know," he added with a wink as he popped the top off a can of Rainier Beer and took a sip, making himself comfortable along side Carlisle on the big overstuffed sofa. The sofa faced the beautiful stone fireplace, where a fire crackled along, providing a cozy warmth in the room. A flat screen tv the size of a small movie screen sat over the fireplace, and the men stared at it. Much to Charlie's surprise, an ornate gilded picture frame surrounded the tv.

"Carlisle, why do you have a picture frame around your tv," Charlie whispered.

"Because, when no one's in here watching tv and we have company, my wife has pictures of artwork cycling randomly on it. So, she wants it to look framed art work," Carlisle smirked at Charlie's puzzled face. He leaned in and whispered "Then she wonders where Alice gets it from," as he laughed.

Edward reappeared from the kitchen, carrying a large tray of hot appetizers, with Bella trailing quietly behind him. He put the tray down on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

"Mom says to make sure you use napkins," he advised. "The napkins are right there," he pointed to a small basket with Thanksgiving themed napkins in it. "Use them."

"Yes, Edward," Carlisle rolled his eyes.

"And she said to remind you to use the coasters." He pointed to another basket on the coffee table, this one containing the obviously unused drink coasters.

"Yes, Edward," Carlisle's lips twitched up into a grin as Edward nodded and headed back toward the kitchen with Bella in tow.

"Bella," Alice squealed from her perch on the arm of a big overstuffed chair similar to the one that sat in Edward's reading corner before Bella left the room. Jasper sat looking miserable in the chair, his arm still in the uncomfortable sling. She hopped down and limped slowly over to Bella, throwing her arms around her and hugging her tightly. "I'm so happy you came," she whispered to her. "Today's going to be difficult. Rose can talk again."

"Edward told me last night," Bella sighed quietly.

Alice took Bella by the arm, leading her out of the living room where the three men were all now comfortably sitting, watching whatever football game was on the huge tv. Bella couldn't be sure who was playing. There were red and white shirts playing, well, white and red shirts. Alice led her down the hallway and into a small room off of it, closing the door behind them. Dark ceiling to floor shelves were filled with thick books. Framed paintings hung on the dark paneled walls, and an ornately carved dark wood desk sat in front of them. All of the chairs in the room were over stuffed and upholstered in a reddish leather, a color that reminded Bella of Charlie's Weejuns. She realized that this room be a library.

"I wanted to talk to you alone, because it's important that you know this," she whispered, her eyes glossy with worry, her tiny hands clasped beneath her pointy chin.

"Alice, you're scaring me," Bella took a breath.

"You should be scared. Rose is notorious for ruining gatherings like this," she sighed. "Her favorite targets are Mom and Edward."

"Edward's told me some of the things she's done to him," her voice was quiet.

"He told you what she accused them of, didn't he." It was more of a statement than a question.

"He did," Bella nodded. "He told me the whole, sordid story. I…I couldn't believe it."

"Oh, believe it. She's one heartless bitch," Alice folded her arms over her chest, resting her weight on her good foot.

"But…you went along with her…" Bella swallowed hard.

Alice shook her head. "No, I never agreed with her. Not like Emmett or~and it pains me to even say this~Jasper did. I just never disagreed. That was where I went wrong." Alice flopped down in one of the leather wing back chairs that sat opposite the large desk in the room, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. "Edward always knew I was on his side. I just never did anything to show my displeasure with how the others treated him. At least not until now." She looked up at Bella. "And now, Jazz is with me as well. So, we outnumber those two idiots with you on our side."

"You know I support Edward unconditionally, but I'm not part of this family."

"You are with Edward, so you are one of us now," Alice nodded as she spoke. "I know you support him completely, so I want you to be prepared for whatever verbal assault she launches at Edward or Mom. Or both of them. And be prepared for Emmett to be all in agreement with her. Rose can do no wrong and is absolutely perfect where he's concerned."

"Where are they, anyway?" She hadn't noticed either Cullen when she walked in.

"Up in their room. They stay in there all the time now," Alice rolled her eyes. "All the better for us. We don't have to see bitch face."

"_Their_ room? So…those rumors are true?" Bella was stunned.

"Oh, yeah," Alice waved a small hand. "You've seen how our bedrooms are, right? There are two bathrooms and each bathroom has two bedrooms off of it? You know, all Brady Bunch and stuff?" Bella nodded and sat down in the leather wing back chair opposite Alice, turning her body to face her. "Well, it used to be that Rose and I shared a bathroom and Emmett and Jasper shared one. But," she sighed. "The minute Rose turned eighteen, she declared that she and Emmett would not only be sharing a room, they'd be sharing the bathroom as well. That meant Jasper had to move into her room so that she and Emmett could have a 'suite', just like Edward has. Except that Edward only has a really big room with a private bath. It's not a suite like those jackasses seem to think it is."

"Does it bother you?" Bella's voice was quiet.

"Oh, I don't give a shit who she fucks," Alice spat.

"No, not that," Bella giggled at Alice's candor. "I mean does it bother you that Edward has a suite? Or, at least, a really big room?"

Alice waved her hand. "Nah. Who cares? It doesn't matter to me. We're all quite comfortable. Even Rose and Emmett. They were always comfortable. Plus, if anyone ever really deserved a nice little space just for themselves, it's Edward."

"The other's didn't seem to share your views, Alice."

"No, I know they didn't. And again, I'm guilty of not speaking up," Alice's eyes were sad.

"It's not your fault. I mean, you could have spoken up, but they would have crucified him anyway."

"I know, but it still makes me sad, you know? Thinking that maybe, if I had said something, the last few years wouldn't have been so bad for him." Alice stood up and limped over to the desk. Bella noticed for the first time that she wasn't wearing the air cast. "I love Edward, Bella. He's very special to me. Jazz finally understands. But those two? Self centered fucks that they are?"

A sudden knock on the door caused both of the girls to jump.

"Alice, I know you have my girlfriend locked in there with you!" Edward called through the door.

"Keep your shirt on, Edward," Alice flashed an evil grin at Bella and winked. "I'm not done groping her yet!"

"Alice Cullen, you open this door right now or so help me~"

Alice pulled the door open, effectively ending Edward's rant.

"You are so easy, brother," she giggled, squeezing his cheeks between her fingers as she limped out the door past him.

Bella ran her fingers lightly over his stubbly jaw as she followed Alice. "Seriously, Edward. You need to learn to lighten up." She slipped past him, but not before grazing her hand across his hips, and followed Alice into the kitchen.

"This is going to be a long day," Edward grumbled to himself, as rubbed the red marks left by Alice's cheek squeeze.

The long table in the Cullen formal dining room was already set, glittering with a bronze and gold tablecloth topped with sparkling crystal glasses and delicate china. Sparkling silver flatware glowed as it lay atop crisp linen napkins. Candles flickered in crystal holders of all shapes and sizes, surrounding a very large arrangement of autumn colored flowers. Another large arrangement of pumpkins and gourds sat in a cornucopia on the sideboard along the far wall of the room. It, too, was surrounded by an array of glimmering candles. Bella gasped when Edward led her into the room. She was certain she'd never seen anything quite this beautiful in her life.

"Alice," he said with a smirk.

"Of course," She tightened her grip on him.

He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her small waist and pulling her tightly against him. He kissed the top of her head lightly. "Have I told you how beautiful you look?"

"Edward, don't just stand there like a statue. Get back in the kitchen and help me bring some of this food to the table," Esme smiled warmly as she walked through the large doorway connecting the dining room with a small butler's pantry, and ultimately, the kitchen. She carried a small bowl filled with olives.

"Yes, Mom," he blushed at having been caught, reluctantly letting go of Bella and heading back into the kitchen.

"Is there anything I can do, Mrs. Cullen?"

"Bella, dear," Esme moved gracefully over to her, cupping her cheek in her palm. "You've done more than enough already. The pie was a wonderful thought, but everything else you've brought? Simply amazing!"

"Thanks, Mrs. Cullen. I wish I could have done more," she felt herself blush.

"Nonsense. We invited you to dinner. You are company. That means we provide the dinner and you provide the company," Esme smiled at her warmly. "I do appreciate it though. The artichokes smell heavenly, and I tasted those asparagus patties. I will be asking for a few recipes before you leave."

"No problem there," she smiled, feeling quite good about her kitchen abilities.

Edward ambled in, carrying a bowl filled with fresh made cranberry sauce. "This is the bowl you wanted to use for the cranberries, right Mom?"

"Edward, it's the bowl we use every year," she shook her head, smiling at her favorite child. "Just place it next to your father's spot. You know how much he loves his cranberry sauce."

For the first time, Bella noticed that tiny, hand lettered place cards dotted the table. The names on each card were bordered by an intricately drawn autumn leaf pattern, and each had been dusted with glitter.

Edward noticed her staring at them. "Do you even dare to guess?"

"Alice," she smiled, and heard Esme in the distance calling everyone into the dining room for dinner.

"Let me get that stupid cart," Edward grimaced and disappeared back into the kitchen while everyone from the living room filed into the dining room. She noted that Emmett and Rosalie appeared from nowhere, taking their seats at the far end of the table, on Carlisle's right. She and Edward were down the other end, across the table from them and on Esme's right, with Charlie along side of her. Alice and Jasper filled in the gap to Esme's left. It did not go unnoticed that Esme and Edward were seated as far away from Rosalie and Emmett as the table would allow.

Edward entered the dining room pushing a large, gilded serving cart containing the turkey and all the trimmings that went with it. Esme entered behind him, a basket of hot, fresh baked rolls in each hand. He paused the cart beside the sideboard along the far wall of the large room and hoisted the heavy turkey platter from it, carrying it over to his father's place to be carved before taking his spot next to Bella's seat. Bella helped Esme place the random platters and serving bowls around the table until there was room for no more.

"Thank you, dear," Esme smiled as she moved gracefully back to her chair, glancing radiantly across the table at her husband, who was now standing, holding a very large carving knife. All eyes diverted to Carlisle.

"Happy Thanksgiving to you all," he offered as he raised the giant knife to the huge bird in front of him. "I hope everyone likes turkey, because it appears that we're going to be eating this for a long time," his lopsided grin giving him a boyish air. " I'm guessing it was the smallest you could find, my darling?" He gazed lovingly across to his wife. Edward took Bella's hand in his as they exchanged shy smiles themselves..

Carlisle carved the turkey and the plates were passed and filled with food. Mashed sweet potatoes festooned with melted mini marshmallows. Sticky freshly made cranberry sauce. Two kinds of stuffing, thanks to Bella. Steaming hot gravy. Sauteed mushrooms. Bella's artichoke hearts and asparagus patties. There was no lack of food at the Cullen house for this feast.

When the plates were full, Carlisle stood again, addressing his family.

"I thought that, in light of last month's events, we could go around the table and tell each other what it is we are grateful for on this day of thanks," he looked around, a faint smile on his lips. "I for one, am grateful that all of my children are alright. Alice has almost completed her therapy and is walking with only a slight limp, and that should be gone soon. Jasper still has a little way to go, but will be fine and maybe a little more buff with all the therapy, eh, Jasper?" Jasper blushed and giggled as Alice pretended to squeeze his bicep. "Edward's found the very lovely Bella Swan, who makes him very happy. And that makes the rest of us happy." Both Esme and Alice beamed at Edward and his girlfriend, who were both blushing. "Emmett received word yesterday that he's won a scholarship to Washington State University, and we congratulate him. And, last, but certainly not least, our Rosalie's jaw was finally freed from it's wire prison yesterday and she will be able to fully share this Thanksgiving dinner with us, even if she does have to cut her food up tiny for now." Bella looked over at Rosalie, who appeared to be ignoring Carlisle. "And as always, I am most appreciative that, twenty years ago this December, the beautiful Esme Platt did me, a lowly med student, the honor of becoming my wife." Esme's cheeks blushed a glorious shade of rose as she returned the adoring gaze of her husband. Bella could only hope that she and Edward would be looking at one another the same way twenty years from now. Carlisle broke his gaze with his wife, turning his attentions back to the table. "Charlie, since you are our guest, would you like to begin?"

"Thanks, Carlisle. That's a tough act to follow," he smiled as he folded his hands in front of him on the table as he thought. "Let's see…what am I grateful for? Well, I'm grateful that, after fifteen years of spending most of our time apart, my beautiful daughter is living with me again, right here in Forks. I'm thankful that I'm getting a second chance, that I get to spend more time with her and get to know her and to watch her grow into this amazing young woman right here," he smiled at his daughter, who's face was red from embarrassment.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Charlie," she blushed.

"No, I mean it, Bells," Charlie's voice was sincere. "I'm also grateful that you found someone like Edward to share your life with. I'm grateful to him for finding you as well, and I'm grateful that I've gotten to know him myself."

"Thanks, Charlie," she beamed at him as Edward smiled awkwardly at the kind words.

"Bella?" Carlisle called on her next.

"Well, I'm grateful for my father. Because, he's the most amazing father anyone could ever want. He's thoughtful and understanding, and he…he just _knows_. I don't know. I can't explain it," she flipped her hands around, nervously aware that all eyes were on her red face. "I'm glad for this time we are getting to spend together, this second chance, as he called it," she felt tears filling her eyes and she stared straight ahead of her into the understanding face of Alice. She'd never stopped to think about it before, but Charlie was a pretty amazing man. She blinked, trying to will the tears away, and turned to look at Edward. "And I'm grateful for Edward. He…he just fills in my blanks." And it was Edward's turn to blush.

Carlisle grinned. "Edward? Care to rebut that?"

Edward ran a hand through his russet hair nervously. "Well, um…I'm grateful for Bella. She likes me, even if I'm not a dead wizard," he grinned at Charlie, who sat chuckling while Bella groaned, burying her head in her hands, but not before staring daggers at the snickering Alice. "And, well, for my family. For everyone being ok." He nodded his head once, and he was done.

"Thank you, Edward," Carlisle began, but was cut off.

"Is that all you're grateful for, Edward?"

All eyes turned toward Rosalie, as she sat, cutting up the turkey in her plate into small bits, looking quite casual.

"Excuse me, Rosalie?" Carlisle furrowed his brow as he turned toward her.

Rosalie flipped her perfect blonde hair and glared at him. "You heard me, _Dad_."

"What more would you like for me to be grateful for, Rose?" Edward tried to keep his voice calm, but Bella could feel his body tensing beside her.

"Well, you could be grateful that your new girlfriend doesn't mind the fact that you're a father," she sniffed.

"Rose," Emmett gasped softly as he stared at her. "Not today, ok?"

Bella's mouth dropped open a little and she looked at Edward, who sat with a puzzled expression on his face, eyebrows knit together. "You…you really don't know when to stop, do you, Rose? Nothing's ever going to change you, is it," his voice was laced with disgust.

Bella's eyes flew to Alice, who was sitting with her hand over her mouth, a look of sheer terror in her dark eyes as her tiny body trembled. Jasper had her hand in his in a vain attempt at calming her.

"Edward, please," Esme took his hand in hers. "It's Thanksgiving. Just…ignore her."

"Yes, ignore me, Edward. Just like you've ignored your child. Your own flesh and blood." Rosalie didn't look up as she spoke. Her eyes were focused on her plate as she methodically cut her food into miniscule pieces. But, Emmett, along with the rest of the family, continued to stare at her.

"What the fuck are you even talking about, Rose?" Emmett's voice was confused.

"Rosalie, is there something you'd like to share with us?" Carlisle challenged his daughter.

She glared up at him once again. "Like you don't know," she snorted. "Please don't insult me, Carlisle."

Bella could see Carlisle's face change for a second, and then the calm demeanor of the experienced surgeon resurfaced. "I think we've all had enough of your nonsense for today. Everyone, please enjoy dinner."

"You people kill me," Rosalie continued. "Your precious Edward can do no wrong, can he? And then, even when he does something wrong, he _still_ can do no wrong." She nibbled on a soft, warm roll. "You just ignore it when your favorite fucks up and Big Daddy Cullen just makes it all go away."

Carlisle slammed his hand down on the table, causing the plates and glasses to jump. "That's enough, Rosalie," his voice a low hiss.

Rosalie looked up at him, a wicked grin on her perfect lips. "Well, well. A little sensitive about this, Carlisle? I bet…," her turquoise eyes lit up as a realization hit her. "He…he doesn't know, does he?" A sick, self satisfied smile crossed her lips. "You never told him, did you?"

"Rose, that's enough," Emmett's voice was filled with desperation.

She ignored both Carlisle and Emmett, turning her attention to Edward. "Mommy and Daddy never told their perfect, sweet baby boy that he knocked up his precious little ballerina before we had to leave Seattle, did they?"

Bella watched as the color drained from Edward's face.

"You take that back, you lying bitch," he growled angrily through gritted teeth, so low that it was hard to understand what he'd said.

"Edward, don't give her what she wants," Bella reached over and squeezed his hand hard, trying to comfort him. But he yanked his hand from her grip, balling the fingers on both hands into fists and slamming them down on the table as he shouted.

"You take that back!" His emerald eyes flashed in the candle glow.

"You can't take back the truth, brother," she pierced a small chunk of turkey with her fork and slipped it into her mouth, closing her eyes as she savored the flavor.

"Rose, please," Alice begged, tears running down her cheeks. "Leave him alone." Jasper pulled her closer to him and wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders.

"Sweet Edward fucks up and Big Daddy fixes it," Rosalie continued, smirking as she slid a fork full of mashed sweet potatoes into her mouth and chewed slowly.

"You lying bitch!" The muscles in his neck strained as Edward slammed his fists on the table again. "You lying fucking bitch!"

"Edward, please calm down," Esme's voice shook with anger and desperation as she reached across the table for his arm.

"It's not a lie, Edward. It's the truth," she glared at him and the hatred she felt for her brother rolled off of her in waves. "Ask your father!"

"Rosalie, that's quite enough!" It was the first time Bella had ever heard Carlisle raise his voice. She looked wide eyed at her father, who sat with his head down, embarrassed that the Cullen's dirty laundry was being aired out in front of them.

"Oh, it's quite enough is it? It's quite enough that you never even told him the truth. It's quite enough that he has a child and none of you even acknowledges it. Because it's _EDWARD_! The golden child!" Her eyes were wide, wild with her rage. "Precious fucking Edward! Perfect fucking Edward! It's quite enough? No, Carlisle, it's not nearly enough!"

"Rose, stop," Emmett growled as he slammed his hand on the table.

"Oh, shut up you fucking baboon," she turned and looked at Carlisle, avoiding the hurt that fell across Emmett's face. She pointed her fork at her father as she spoke. "You know, Carlisle, you really ought to be more careful about things. These days, any half wit with a computer can find out, well, anything if they look hard enough." She smiled to herself, and turned her attention back to her dinner. "Had he cared enough, that half wit could have found out himself. By the way, these artichoke hearts are delicious, Bella."

Bella looked across the table at Rosalie, horrified. She'd begun to feel as though she were riding on a train that was hurtling out of control down a looping, winding track. First stop, Crazy Town with the Cullens. Edward sat beside her, banging his fists on the table slowly, the rage within him building.

"So, Bella, how's it feel to be a step mother?" Rosalie smirked, pleased with her own wit. "If that's what you are. I mean, I guess as long as you're fucking my--"

Before Rosalie could complete her sentence, Edward was up and flying across the room so quickly that he was almost a blur. Green eyes flashed as a low, guttural scream emanated from him as he dove toward Rosalie. Esme gasped and Alice screamed. In the time it took for Bella's heart to skip a beat, Carlisle was between his son and daughter, slamming the furioius Edward into the dining room wall with so much force that the candles on the sideboard rattled together, flames flickering.

Carlisle held on to his raging son. "Edward, stop. Stop this right now, son," he commanded softly, using all of his strength to hold on to him.

"You fucking bitch!" Edward seethed, not hearing Carlisle's gentle words as he struggled to be free of Carlisle's tight grip. "You lying, fucking bitch!" Edward flailed his arms and thrashed his legs, trying to get past his father and have at Rosalie, but the older man was stronger.

"You crazy bitch!" Edward continued his tirade, his face red with his fury. "You crazy fucking lying bitch!" He threw himself against his father hard, trying desperately to free himself from his arms. "I'll fucking kill you!"

Bella sat, mouth open, staring at her boyfriend, her stomach flipping violently. She blinked and looked around. Charlie was sitting up, ready to spring into action should Carlisle need his assistance. Alice had somehow managed to crawl onto Esme's lap, and the two women clung to one another as if their very lives depended on it. A warm hand closed around Bella's shoulder, startling her. She looked behind her. Jasper stood, stone faced, behind her chair, his hand soothing her while his eyes watched his father and brother struggling with one another. Bella brought a hand up to her face to brush a stray hair way and wiped her wet cheek. She hadn't even realized she was crying.

Emmett continued to stare at Rosalie in disbelief, never once taking his eyes off of her. "What the fuck," he repeated over and over as Rosalie continued to eat her Thanksgiving dinner as though nothing out of the ordinary were occurring, ignoring Edward's agonizing screams. "What the fuck, Rose?"

"Jasper," Carlisle caught Jasper's attention. "My bag, please," He had leaned all of his weight against the apoplectic boy, holding him against the wall, attempting to control him as Edward continued to struggle and scream at Rosalie. "It's in the library."

Bella felt Jasper's presence leave her as he swiftly ran out of the room and down the hall. Without his warm hand steadying her, she wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she began to feel lost, nausea taking over as she felt herself spiraling downward into a darkness she knew she nor Edward would ever recover from.

"Charlie," Carlisle's voice was apologetic and labored as he struggled to hold onto Edward. "Would you please help me with Edward?" Carlisle, face red from exertion, was attempting to keep his voice level, but the stress in it was clearly evident as he raised his voice in order to be heard over the wildly raging Edward.

Charlie was beside Carlisle almost the second he asked, and grabbed Edward from behind, holding the boy tightly around the arms, binding them to his torso with his own arms. Jasper reappeared carrying the black doctor bag and holding it open for Carlisle.

Charlie nodded at Carlisle, and, reluctantly, Carlisle let go of Edward, fiddling around quickly in his bag before pulling out a small bottle filled with a clear liquid and a syringe. He filled the syringe carefully, calmly putting the bottle back into the bag Jasper still held. Jasper put the bag down on the table and quickly returned to his position behind Bella, soothing hand once again rubbing her shoulder as she sat, pale and shell shocked.

"Charlie, hold him as still as you can," his voice was quiet as he put his hand on

Edward's bicep. "If you relax, Edward, this won't hurt."

Edward began to struggle more wildly, causing Carlisle to pull the syringe back. "No! Dad! No! She's lying! She's fucking lying!" He strained every muscle in his body as he tried to pull free from Charlie's grip, but Charlie was stronger and he wasn't letting go.

"Edward," Charlie's soothing voice held the calm of a man used to being the voice of reason in desperate, tense situations. "Please," he sighed as he tightened his grip, holding Edward so tightly Bella swore he wasn't able to breathe.

The muscles in Edward's neck tightened as he clenched his fists into tight balls. His blazing emerald eyes searched the room before coming to rest on Bella, her sad brown eyes connecting with his wild green ones. He sighed, realizing it was no use. He was no match for his father and Charlie. "No," he whispered, swallowing hard but not breaking eye contact with the chocolate eyes across the room from him as he stilled his defeated body. "Please…" he begged in a hushed tone.

Carlisle stuck the needle into Edward's arm quickly and Edward closed his eyes, sucking in a breath. Almost instantly, his body began to relax. His fists dropped to his sides as his hands opened slowly. His struggle against Charlie's iron grip slowed and his shoulders slumped forward, mirroring the defeat he felt as he lowered his head, a silent tear escaping as he did so.

The room had grown deadly silent. The only sound to be heard was that of Rosalie's knife and fork snicking against the fine china plate as they cut into another slice of turkey. Emmett watched her as she ate peacefully, horror etched on his face.

"How can you sit there eating after what you did?" His voice was low and angry as he looked at her in disbelief. "What have you done, Rose? What have you done?" His voice was barely audible and his girlfriend ignored him, a satisfied smirk playing on her lush pink lips.

Alice sat on Esme's lap, quite sobs shaking her tiny frame as Esme, tears running down her face, rubbed her back, rocking her like a baby as she tried to comfort her.

Bella turned her sad eyes back to look at Edward. The sedative must have been a fast acting one. Charlie now sat on the floor, having slid down the wall after being dragged down by the dead weight of the slumped, sedated Edward. Charlie still held Edward tightly to himself as the boy lay limply in his arms. He rocked the sad, defeated boy slightly as he whispered soothingly into his ear. Edward's body twitched in response, his dead, green eyes half open but seeing nothing.

_He looks so young, so…innocent_, Bella thought as she watched him struggle to keep his eyes open as his jaw slacked to one side.

Carlisle calmly put the syringe back into his bag, closing it before leaving the room, presumably to return the case back to it's proper place in the library. When he returned a moment later, his face was a mask of serenity. He glanced quickly at his crying wife as he walked over to where Charlie and Edward sat in a tangle on the floor.

"Charlie, would you mind helping me bring my son up to his bedroom, please?"

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

***sigh* I know...poor Edward. Does it ever end for that child? Was he born under a ladder on a Friday the 13th? **

**And...Rosalie. Yeah...betch times infinity. But, the question remains...is she lying? Or is there some truth to what she's saying? Remember, she's been hurting, so she's had a lot of time to just sit and surf the net, looking for the next best way to get to Edward. I'm guessing we'll find out, won't we?**

**Once again, I thank everyone who's sticking with my little story. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. And if you like it, why not tell your friends? (yes, a little shameless self promotion there ;) )**

**Please review and let me know what you think of this chapter. I'm always really interested to see what you think, but I'm particularly interested with this chapter. What do you think of this possible turn of events?**

**Again, thank you so much for reading!**


	19. Chapter 19: I Wanna Be Sedated

**Thanks to everyone who's sticking with me here. I do appreciate everyone who's reading and reviewing :) And, if you like it, tell your friends too :D**

**Down to business:**

**First, due to real life commitments and responsibility, the next few updates may be a little slow in coming, but they will be coming. It's just that I realize I don't have the ability to be in two places doing two different things at the same time, so it might take me a bit to get chapters together. Please bear with me.**

**Second, the usual: Twilight, it's characters and it's situations belong to the wondrous Stephenie Meyer and sadly, not to me. If it did belong to me, well, things might have turned out a little differently LOL!**

**Please enjoy~**

**Chapter 19: I Wanna Be Sedated**

It felt like an eternity before Carlisle and Charlie returned to the silent dining room, but she knew it had been only a matter of minutes.

As soon as they entered the room, Esme and Alice were out of the chair they had been quietly rocking in and pounding up the stairs like they'd been shot from a canon. She couldn't blame them. If it hadn't been for Jasper's hand on her shoulder, or the fact that she knew her place in this family, Bella would have been right behind them. Maybe even in front of them.

Charlie rubbed his hand over his face a couple of times as he stood behind Carlisle, staring sadly down at his feet before looking blankly into the room, seeing nothing. She imagined her face wore a similar expression to his.

Carlisle put his hands on his slender hips and looked around the room exhaling slowly. Jasper still stood behind her, massaging her shoulder quietly. Carlisle seemed to nod at him silently, but she couldn't be sure, as it had been a very quick, cursory look. He glanced over at Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett sat with his head in his hands, shaking it as he mumbled something over and over while Rosalie, seemingly unaffected by what she had caused, continued to eat her Thanksgiving dinner slowly, even helping herself to seconds of stuffing and cranberry sauce.

Carlisle cleared his throat and Emmett lowered his hands from his face, but never looked up at his father. Instead, he stared sadly down at the untouched plate of food in front of him.

"Emmett, Rosalie, The two of you have exactly one hour to pack your belongings," his voice was cold and dead. "I have arranged for you to have a room at the Forked Inn outside of town. Charlie has been kind enough to offer to drive you there. Your room will be paid for through graduation. A rental car will be provided to you, also until graduation and a stipend for meals and expenses will be left for you once a month, until graduation." he took a deep breath and paused. "The day after graduation, you are both on your own. I don't want either of you to ever come back to this house or to bother any member of my family ever again. Understood?"

Emmett didn't look up. He just sat and nodded silently.

Rosalie, however, was another story altogether.

She placed her fork and knife down quietly, and turned an icy cold stare to Carlisle, who returned the stare with equal chill.

"Excuse me?"

"I think you heard me quite well, Rosalie." Bella swore she could see puffs of icy white smoke coming from Carlisle's mouth, and a chill ran down her spine as he spoke.

"You're throwing us out," she snorted.

"I'm telling you to leave, yes."

She took her napkin off her lap and wiped her mouth with it, folding it neatly before placing it back on the table beside her nearly empty dinner plate. "You know I can call social services on you, don't you?"

"You are free to do so. The fact is, Rosalie, you are both eighteen, legal adults. As such, my and Esme's legal obligation to either of you is over. In fact," he leaned down closer to her. "I don't even have to provide a place for you to live until graduation. And after that stunt you pulled today? You should count yourself lucky you're getting that much." Bella had never heard Carlisle's voice like this before. He'd always been the kindly, caring doctor, the warm and loving father. But, right now, he was a cold, angry and betrayed parent.

The younger girl glared at him, her blue eyes as sharp as the glistening knives on the table.

"Thank you, Carlisle. You just proved what I've been saying all along. Everything in this house is about Edward. Edward, Edward, Edward. Edward is the favorite. Always has been, always will be."

"Edward has never done a single thing to deserve your treatment, Rosalie, and you know it. Neither has Esme." Carlisle's face remained calm, but his wild blue eyes were seething slits as he spoke in a low and angry tone. "Esme and I should have put our collective foot down a long time ago. Instead, we allowed you to get away with your evil nonsense, and to drive a wedge between our family. It won't be tolerated any longer."

She knew she could not win, that the battle was over. That much Bella could discern from her face. "What about the stuff we can't pack in your hour?"

"It will be sent to you at the inn."

"Fine. Emmett, let's get out of this shit hole." She stood up abruptly and stormed out of the room, running up the stairs as quickly as her legs could carry her.

Emmett, who had sat quietly through all of this, without looking up, let out a resigned sigh and rose slowly from his chair, head still bowed. He moved toward Carlisle, who stood motionless.

Emmett looked up slowly, and Bella could see his sad, watery blue eyes. "Carlisle," his voice was quiet and filled with remorse. "For what it's worth, I…I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of the trouble she's caused."

"It's not your fault, Emmett," Carlisle's voice was still cool.

"But…it was. I went along with her. I allowed it. I always knew she went to far, but I let her," he shook his head. "But this? This…this was something I knew nothing about. I have no idea where she got this idea from, and I am truly sorry. Please…please tell Edward how sorry I am."

Carlisle placed a hand on Emmett's shoulder. "I will," his voice and face had softened slightly, and Emmett began to leave the room.

"And, Emmett?"

He stopped in the doorway, and turned. Bella could see the tears that were running down the large boy's cheeks.

"Thank you," Carlisle didn't look at him as he said this, didn't see Emmett nod at him before Rosalie bellowed for him from the top of the stairs.

It was only after Emmett was upstairs that Charlie relaxed his stance and blew out a long breath. It was only then that Bella saw the butt end of his service revolver peeking out from the waistband of his khaki Dockers, and realized that he'd had his hand on the gun the entire time Carlisle was confronting his daughter.

She began to shake uncontrollably, and this time, Jasper pulled her from the chair, hugging her to him tightly with his good arm. He'd been silent up to this point.

"It's ok, Bella," he whispered softly into her hair as she hugged him tightly, sobs violently shaking her small body. "It's ok. It's all over now," he cooed as he rubbed his hand up and down her back.

"Bells," Charlie was behind her and she left the warmth of Jasper for the safety of her father's arms. She buried her face in his chest, crying until his sweater was wet and stained with her mascara. Charlie held her tightly, both arms wrapped around her as she cried, rocking her gently while whispering soft, comforting words, just like he'd done with Edward earlier.

When she had no more tears, she pulled away as she hiccupped a couple of times, trying to stifle her sobs. Jasper was slowly clearing the table, moving dishes with his one good arm onto the ornate serving cart that Edward had placed near the sideboard earlier. Carlisle stood in the doorway, facing the hallway, like some sort of sentry, standing guard against the enemy.

She pulled Charlie's head down and whispered in his ear. "I don't want to ride in the car with…them."

Charlie shook his head. "No, it's ok. You'll wait here and I'll come get you after I drop them off."

"Thank you," she sighed with relief as Charlie wiped the smeared makeup that had run down her face.

"Why don't you go wash your face and help Jasper clean up this mess?" She nodded silently and slipped into the kitchen, taking a platter of stuffed mushrooms with her as she left.

"Thank you, Charlie."

"No problem, Carlisle," he collapsed into the chair Bella had been sitting in.

"I'm really sorry about all this," he still faced the hallway.

"Hey, it was something that was completely out of your control. She's volatile. And maybe even a little bit crazy," Charlie shook his head.

"I can't tell you how embarrassed I am," Carlisle sighed and ran a slender hand through his short blonde hair.

"No need to be," Charlie shook his head again. "What's that old saying? Shit happens?"

Carlisle snorted a laugh. "Well, this was quite a load of shit then."

"Bella had warned me about her. But, well, you know me. I like to give the benefit of the doubt," Charlie moved the dish filled with everything but turkey out of his way and rested his elbows on the table. Bella's dinner plate, of course. "Bells calls me Pollyanna," he smiled.

"Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, Charlie." Carlisle closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers as he rested his head against the doorjam. "That much I agree with."

"You would think that, with the accident and all, she would…well…you know…" Charlie's voice trailed off. There he was again, Charlie Swan, eternal optimist.

"You would think, wouldn't you?" Carlisle laughed as he shook his head. "But, then again, you don't know Rosalie like we do. Otherwise, you'd never get all Merry Sunshine where she's concerned."

"No, I see that I don't. Maybe I need to be more discerning when it comes to giving out benefits of the doubt." Charlie sighed and glanced toward the kitchen, making sure Bella was out of earshot. "I just want that kid to be ok."

"I will take the best care of him, I assure you," Carlisle relaxed his stance, leaning against the doorframe. "I didn't want to sedate him, Charlie, but I know my son. If I hadn't, we would still be here, holding him back."

"Edward is a very passionate boy," Charlie mused.

"He's always been that way, since he came to live with us," Carlisle smiled at a memory. "Edward is quite musical, did you know that?"

"Bella's mentioned that," Charlie smiled. He had actually been a little hopeful that maybe he would get to hear Edward play the piano today.

"His grandfather had bought him this amazingly beautiful baby grand piano," Carlisle laughed lightly, shaking his head. "It was the most incredible thing to see this tiny child with that crazy, wild bronze hair pounding on the keys, playing these incredibly difficult pieces with such ease and such feeling. He looked like a mad little genius."

"I'll bet," Charlie smiled. It was obvious how much Carlisle loved Edward.

"He hasn't played very much the last few years," he sighed. "Until recently. Until he found Bella." Carlisle looked at Charlie. "She gave him something to be joyous about again.",

"Well, I think they have the same affect on each other, Carlisle. I mean, I know how my daughter was before she came here, and it's like she's a completely different person."

"They are quite good for one another," Carlisle smiled, but it was clouded over when his brow furrowed. "I hope for both of their sakes that…" his voice trailed off without finishing his thought as Emmett bounded down the stairs, carrying two suitcases.

"We're just about ready," Emmett whispered as he dropped the suitcases down on the floor. "She's worried you won't send the rest of her crap to her at the inn."

"Trust me, Emmett, everything of hers will be packed up and sent to her. I want every trace of her gone from my home."

"Emmett!" Rosalie stood on the landing. "Get up here and get the rest of the bags!" She turned and stalked off, long blonde hair swinging around her as she went.

Emmett sighed and slowly climbed back up the stairs to retrieve the rest of the bags.

When he was done, when there were no less than four suitcases, two duffle bags and two backpacks in the hallway, Charlie helped Emmett carry the bags out to the car. Rosalie sauntered past Carlisle as he stood in the doorway of the dining room, and never glanced even once at him as she walked out the door without looking back.

Carlisle watched from the living room window as Charlie slowly turned the police cruiser around and maneuvered slowly down the long, gravel driveway still slick with the cold moisture of the day.

Bella stood in the hallway, watching Carlisle, and startling him when he turned around.

"Bella, I didn't see you there," he smiled at her. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Dr. Cullen," but her face betrayed her.

"He's going to be fine, Bella," Carlisle cupped her chin in his hand as he walked up to her, answering her unasked question. "Don't worry so much about Edward."

"But…what Rosalie said…" she looked down, feeling guilty for wondering whether or not anything that spewed forth from Rosalie's mouth were true or not.

"Don't you worry yourself about any of that nonsense," Carlisle's voice was soft, confident. The loving father was back.

"But…what if what she said is true?" Her big brown eyes captured his sorrowful baby blue's in their gaze.

"I sincerely doubt that it is, Bella," he smiled sadly at her. "But I will assure you that I'll investigate her claims to the best of my ability."

"Promise?" She looked up at him like a lost little girl.

"I swear to you that I will do everything in my power, Bella," his voice was sincere.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen," she sighed with relief before turning to head back into the kitchen with Jasper.

"Bella?"

She turned and looked at Carlisle. "Yes?"

"What if she's right? What if Edward does have a child with Victoria?"

She blinked at Carlisle, feeling the muscles in her stomach clench. The very idea was nauseating to her. But, she loved him. And if he had a child, well, that was part of Edward and that was something that came with the whole package that was Edward. Love Edward, love his baggage. "Then I guess that would make me a step-mother, right?"

Carlisle looked at her, not shifting his gaze.

"I won't leave him, if that's what you think, Dr. Cullen. I love him, and I'll take him, regardless of what else comes with him."

"You're certain of that, Bella? We are talking about a child here. That's a huge responsibility at any age, let alone as young as you and Edward are."

"I took him when he came with your family, didn't I?" She smirked at Carlisle. "I took him with Rosalie attached. I think that's far worse than anything else, even a baby."

Carlisle looked at her, nodding. "That's good to know."

She smiled sadly and walked slowly back to the kitchen, where the sound of running water could be heard.

Carlisle sank down slowly onto the sofa, and thought about what Bella had said. She was so certain, so devoted, so sure of her love for Edward. He remembered what it felt like to be that age. What it felt like to be in love at that age. He wasn't much older than Edward when he met his Esme. Of course, at the time, Carlisle had been so smitten with her that he had been too terrified to approach her. She was stunning, with long waves of chestnut hair that swooped around her head and framed her gentle, angelic face. He still got weak in the knees when he thought of those early days. He was working in a little import record shop back in those days, well before the internet or the iPod were invented. There was one small TV on the counter that had MTV going all day long, and Esme Platt would come in all the time, looking for the latest imports from The Police or DuranDuran. She would smile at him every time, wearing her denim mini skirts with her lacey stockings, looking so much like one of the beautiful women in the videos that played all day long on the tv. And there would be Carlisle, with his sad, blonde mullet and his skinny black leather tie, terrified to say much more than an occasional muttered greeting. Had Esme herself not broken the ice and asked him out for a soda, they might never have gotten together. And here they were, so many years later, bound together more strongly than ever from all they endured together.

He could see in Bella's eyes when she spoke about Edward exactly what he saw in Esme's eyes all those years ago. There wasn't much to Carlisle all those years ago. Unlike with Edward, with his chiseled jaw and piercing green eyes set off by his wild mane of copper hair. And yet, Esme looked at him the same way Bella looked at the much more handsome Edward. And she still looked at him that way, to this day. And he loved her more and more every day.

Carlisle sighed and leaned back on the sofa. His head was pounding from the stress as a million thoughts swirled around his mind. He leaned his head against the cushions and closed his eyes. It felt like only moments later when the sound of Charlie Swan being let back into the house by Jasper startled him awake.

"Are they gone?" It was Bella's voice he heard first.

"Yep. All checked in and I'll tell you, she's madder than a hatter that one." Carlisle kept his head on the sofa, eyes closed, trying to will himself back to sleep.

"What do you mean?" That was Jasper.

"She kept saying that they'd all see that their golden boy isn't very golden. She swears it's the truth."

"She's got a way about her," Jasper's gentle voice again. "She can make you believe anything, Chief Swan."

"Well, I didn't respond to anything she said. Just ignored her. I wasn't going to let her drag me into her drama." Carlisle listened as the trio moved down the hallway, heading toward the kitchen. "But I'll say this much, I feel kinda bad for that big guy."

"Emmett's part of the reason she's as bad as she is," Jasper's soft voice was more muted now that they were down the hall and in the kitchen, but Carlisle had keen hearing. "He always indulged her, and urged the rest of us to go along with her." Jasper snorted. "He just wanted to get laid, Chief."

"Well, that's one hell of a reason to ruin a kids' life." Carlisle heard one of the stools skid across the kitchen floor and realized that was his cue to go inside. He rose slowly from the comfort of the sofa and shuffled off toward the kitchen.

"Carlisle," Charlie's warm smile greeted him the moment he walked in. Carlisle noticed that Charlie had brought back several Styrofoam cups of coffee, setting them down on the breakfast bar. "I picked up some coffee. Figured you guys could use it."

"Thank you, Charlie," Carlisle fingered one of the cups. "For everything."

"Don't mention it. Bells, are you almost done in here? We need to give these folks some space."

"Charlie," Carlisle popped the lid off one of the cups of coffee and inhaled the aroma hungrily before taking a sip. "You and Bella are welcome to stay here as long as you want. You're family now," he smiled at Bella, remembering their earlier conversation. "And thank you for the coffee."

Bella finished rinsing off the soapy roasting pan she'd been scrubbing, and handed it to Jasper, who stood ready with a dishcloth. "That's the last one, Charlie," she grabbed a paper towel off the roll and dried her hands, wiping up the water that had splashed onto the granite countertop.

"Ok, then, let's get going," Charlie stood from the stool he'd been seated on.

"Dr. Cullen, we wrapped up the food and put it all in the refrigerator, in case…well…just in case anyone's hungry later on," she fidgeted nervously.

"Thank you, Bella. Why don't you and Charlie take some food home with you, since you really didn't eat anything tonight," Carlisle's blue eyes were warm.

"That's ok, Carlisle. We're going to stop at the diner for a little something on our way home," Charlie put his arm around his daughter.

"Bella, would…would you like to go say goodnight to Edward before you leave?" He knew that she had been wanting to ask to see him, but was either too embarrassed or too afraid to say anything.

"Could I?" Her tired brown eyes grew large.

"Yes, of course," Carlisle took her hand and led her to the stairs. "Of course, he's heavily sedated and he's very much out of it, but I know it will make you feel better."

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen," her voice trembled. Her poor, sweet, beautiful Edward.

Carlisle led her up to the third floor and to Edward's door. He knocked lightly and Bella heard Esme's soft voice.

"Carlisle?"

He opened the door and stepped in, pulling Bella into the room behind him gently by her hand. It took a moment for her to get adjusted to the dim light in the room, a room she'd been in not twenty four hours before, only for a much different reason.

She noticed that a tiny light sitting on the dresser was the only light on in the room. It cast a dim, shadow filled glow across the room as it illuminated small stars that danced around the ceiling. She could see Alice's form, folded up in Edward's reading chair, arms folded across the knees that were tucked up under her chin as she rocked herself slowly, staring across the room at her brother.

Esme sat on Edward's bed, back against the wall with her legs stretched out on the bed. Edward lay in the middle of the bed, curled up in a fetal position, with his head on his mother's lap. She gazed lovingly down at him, her long, slender fingers running lightly through his soft, russet hair as she hummed a quiet tune to him. Edward's eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply. He looked so peaceful, so beautiful. If she didn't know any better, Bella would have thought he was just in a deep sleep. Of course, this was a deep, sedative induced sleep, for his own good. A soft, beige chenille blanket covered him, but his sock covered feet stuck out from under it. Someone had taken the time to take his shoes off. _Probably Alice_, she thought.

Bella took a tentative step toward the bed. Esme looked up at her and smiled sadly, nodding at her. She moved a little bit closer and paused.

"It's ok, Bella," Carlisle whispered. "You won't wake him."

She looked back at Carlisle and moved quietly to the bed, stopping just in front of Esme. She reached out a shaky hand, and Esme took her own hand away from his hair, nodding at Bella. As gently as she could, she reached out, touching the tips of his hair. When he didn't stir, she moved closer and mimicked the same movements she'd watched Esme making, running her fingers lightly through his thick, soft locks. Edward stirred slightly this time, and Bella's hand froze in his hair. Esme ran her hand over his back, soothing him and he settled back down with a contented sounding sigh. Bella lifted her hand from his hair, gently grazing her fingertips over his forehead before pulling her hand away completely. She craved him, needed to be near him, needed to know he was ok. But she knew that right now, it wasn't her place. He needed his family. She stepped back from the bed, fighting the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes once again.

Esme smiled at her once more, the dim light causing the tears running down her face to sparkle like strange diamonds on her skin. "Thank you, Bella. This will mean so much to him." Her fingers were once again threaded through his wild, brassy hair as he slept contentedly in his mother's lap. "He loves you very much, you know."

Bella blinked back the tears that Esme's validation had created, and tried to smile back, nodding once before turning to leave the room.

"Thank you for everything, Bella," Carlisle whispered as she stepped past him.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen," she offered her hand to him, and Carlisle took it, clasping it tightly between both of his hands. They both knew the depth of the meaning of their thank you's. It was something unspoken, a secret between the two of them.

Carlisle walked her out of the room, closing the door behind him and leading her back down to the main floor, where Charlie and Jasper waited. Jasper helped her on with her jacket.

"Thanks, Jasper," she sighed and turning, threw her arms around him, embracing him tightly. "Thank you for everything."

"I didn't do anything," he laughed slightly. "But I'll take your hug." He wrapped his arms around her back lightly.

"You did so much," she sighed, pulling out of the embrace. "More than you can ever know."

"I'll take that as a compliment," he smiled and opened the door.

"Charlie, I'm afraid 'thank you' just doesn't cover it," Carlisle held his hand out and Charlie took it, shaking firmly. "I don't think I can ever express how grateful I am to you."

"Thank you covers it just fine, Carlisle," Charlie put his hand on the doctors' shoulder. He could see the worry and fear etched on his face. "Try to get a little rest, hmm?"

"I will. And, my dear Bella," Carlisle turned to her. "I am truly sorry for how today turned out," he sighed.

"It's ok, Dr. Cullen," she sighed as she hugged Carlisle. "No one could have predicted this."

"Thank you both for being so understanding," he hugged her back. "I'm sure Edward will call you as soon as he's feeling better," he pulled out of the embrace, holding her by the shoulders. She knew what he meant. Edward would call her when he was ready to talk to her. She needn't call first. She understood.

She nodded her acceptance. "Ok. And thanks again," she followed Charlie out of the door. "Good night."

"Good night, Bella," Carlisle stood in the doorway and waved, watching as they got into the police cruiser and Charlie manipulated the vehicle once more down the winding, slick driveway.

The drive back into town was a quiet one, with both Bella and Charlie lost in their own thoughts. Everything between Edward and Bella had the potential to change radically, and they both knew it. Each worried about it…for very different reasons.

Charlie pulled into the nearly empty diner parking lot. The neon sign proclaiming it open twenty-four hours lit up the gloomy night, reflecting off the wet pavement as they ran through the steady drizzle and into the warmth of the diner.

The waitress came to take their order as they were looking over the menu.

"Hey there, Charlie. Happy Thanksgiving," she drawled.

"Thanks, Irina. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too. This is my daughter, Bella," Charlie waved his hand across the booth at Bella, as though Irina would be confused if he didn't specifically point out exactly who Bella was.

Bella waved quickly to her. "Hi," she smiled slightly.

"Good to have you here, Bella," Irina's smile was warm. "So, what'll ya have, Chief?"

Bella couldn't help but notice how, with her upsweep of messy blonde hair, thick red lipstick and gum smacking, Irina was the very stereotype of a diner waitress.

"I guess I'll have..." he looked across the table at his daughter. "I'll have the…uh…the tom turkey dinner."

"Ain't ya tired of turkey yet?" Irina laughed loudly at her own joke.

"We didn't have turkey for dinner today," Charlie tried not to sound annoyed, but couldn't help the huffiness in his voice.

"I'm vegetarian," Bella explained kindly.

"Ohhh," Irina nodded. "Well, I can understand that," she cracked her gum. "So, Chief, the usual sides? Mashed and corn? Salad with French?" It was obvious that Charlie Swan dined here often. He nodded at the waitress, confirming his choices. "And you want a salad, hon?"

"Um, actually, I'll have the vegetable stir fry over rice, thanks. And a diet Coke." Despite the events of the day, she realized she was famished.

"Good choice," Irina wrote furiously in her pad. "You want soup or salad with that?"

"Um, salad with, um…do you have…um," Bella looked over the menu furiously for salad dressing choices.

"French, Russian, Ranch, Blue Cheese, Creamy Italian, Honey Mustard, Balsamic Vinegrette, oil and vinegar or House."

"Um…what's…House?"

"It's just regular old Italian."

"And the Honey Mustard…um…is that…is that the really yellow type? Or is it more golden brown kind?"

"It's the really yellow type."

"Is the Blue Cheese the creamy dressing or is it actual crumbled blue cheese?"

"It's the creamy dressing one."

"Um…then I'll have…the…um…Balsamic Vinegrette? Wait. Does that have basil in it?"

"Bells, jeez, this isn't Tavern on the Green. Pick a dressing already, will ya?" Charlie shook his head.

Bella felt her face get hot as she blushed. "Oil and vinegar…is it red wine vinegar…or…" she felt her face get redder.

"Red wine, balsamic or cider vinegars are your choices."

"Balsamic vinegar, please."

Irina eyed her and winked, smiling at her and making her feel a little more at ease. "Chief, you having coffee?"

"Unlike my daughter, I can make a decision," he smirked at Bella. "Coffee. Black. And caffeinated."

"You'll be up all night," Bella groused.

"Nothing keeps me up all night, my dear."

"Old man," she grumbled as she wrapped her arms tightly around her chest.

"Nah, just a good sleeper," he smiled and leaned forward a little. "Hey, you ok?"

She nodded. "Sure."

"Bells…"

"I'm ok, Charlie," she kept her head down, closing her eyes as she spoke. "There's…there's no use in being upset or anything just yet, right? I mean, it's Rosalie we're talking about here, right? It could just be yet another one of her crazy, outlandish lies, right?" She opened her eyes and looked up at her father, eyes filled with hope.

"Of course," his eyes met hers. "All anyone has to go on right now is whatever that little witch has said. In fact, between you and me, I think she's bat shit bonkers. Certifiable. And, I think that Big Cullen is starting to think the same thing as well."

"Emmett," she found herself smiling despite the topic of conversation. Her father just had that ability.

"Right, Emmett," Charlie leaned back in the booth. "I tell you, I was watching him in the rear view as we drove to the inn. He was shooting her the wackiest looks."

"You made them sit in the back? Behind the cage?"

"You think I'd let that crazy lady in the front near me? Hell no! What if she made for my gun?" He shook his head. "I've been a cop for a long time. I know bat shit bonkers when I see it, and I never, ever let it sit next to me," he winked at her, and watched her giggle. "She was sitting back there, ranting about how they would finally see how their precious Edward really was and Big Cullen was just giving her these looks like you wouldn't believe."

Bella's eyes widened in disbelief.

"By the way, I have to say this much. I don't think I've ever seen dimples as deep as the ones on Big Cullen before in my life. Seriously," Charlie snickered.

She knew what he was doing, and it was working. She let out a loud, throaty laugh, and covered her mouth with her hand, embarrassed at how her laugh echoed in the near empty diner.

"The first time I saw him, I didn't know what his name was," she watched as Irina set her soda down in front of her. "So, in my mind, I would refer to him as 'Dimples Cullen'," she took a sip of her soda. It felt good as it wet her dry throat.

"Good nickname," Charlie mused as he sipped his hot coffee. "Although, I can tell you this much, that's nowhere near the nicknames that crazy lady was calling him!"

"She's not a nice person," Bella took another sip of her soda, feeling the cool relief cascade down her dry throat as she did.

"Not at all," Charlie agreed, sipping his coffee.

Irina brought their salads and Charlie dug in, while Bella fussed with her oil and vinegar.

"Thing is," she shook the oil from the little bottle onto her salad. "Alice says Edward's never done anything to Rose, and that Rose went at him from day one."

"Maybe Carlisle and Esme should have returned her to wherever they got her, like you'd return a defective lawn mower to Sears," Charlie chewed his lettuce thoughtfully.

"I don't think the Cullen's would do that," she sighed, shaking her head as she unscrewed the cap from the balsamic vinegar. "I think they thought that, with a little love and affection, they could change her." Irina dropped a basket of warm rolls onto the table.

"Yeah, well, they still deserve their money back on that one," Charlie reached for a roll, slicing it open and slathering soft butter on it as Bella finally tossed her salad. "She's defective."

"No deposit, no return," Bella mumbled as she chewed on a fork full of salad. The balsamic was tangy in her mouth and it made her purse her lips together for a moment. But it felt good to finally be eating something after their very long day.

"There should be an exception for people like her," Charlie finished his salad, wiping his mouth with his napkin. "Do I have any dressing on the 'stache, Bells?"

She looked up at him, smirking. "No, Charlie. There's no dressing on the 'stache. You trying to impress Irina or something?"

"I don't have to impress Irina," he grinned. "She's already impressed."

"Oooo," she deadpanned. "Charlie Swan, lady killer."

"What can I say? I'm just one irresistible guy," he grinned across the table at his daughter.

"Who'da thought," she smiled, but the smile quickly turned into a frown.

Charlie reached his hand across the table. "Hey, look at me, Bells. Everything's going to work out fine. You'll see."

"We were supposed to go into Seattle on Saturday to do some Christmas shopping," she felt her face contort as she fought the tears. She was pretty sure that was a trip that wouldn't be happening now.

"That's not important right now, Bells," Charlie held her hand tightly in his. "What's important is getting this whole situation squared away. For Edward. For Carlisle and Esme, and for you. And then everyone can just move on."

"I know that."

"Then, let me ask you," his voice was soft. "What are you going to do if it turns out the bitch was right?"

"I…I intend to stay with him…if…if that's what he wants," she looked down at her salad.

"Is that what you want?"

"I want Edward," she looked up at him, tears running down her red cheeks. "And I'll take him however he comes, no matter what."

"Then, that's settled. But you need to make sure that he knows that's what you want," he took another sip of coffee. "Remember, Edward's not exactly a master of clarity."

"I know," she sighed, taking another bite of salad. "And he internalizes everything."

"He does. You need to let him know you're there for him," he took another bite of his buttered roll. "He needs to know you're there, regardless."

"I know, and I intend to let him know that it doesn't matter to me. But Dr. Cullen told me to wait for him to call me," she tossed her salad around a little bit with her fork, suddenly not sure if she was still hungry or not.

"Carlisle's right. The last thing he's going to need is people rushing at him. Bad enough Alice and Esme are going to be on that poor kid like white on rice the second he wakes up," he shoved the rest of the roll into his mouth and looked around. "What's taking so long for the damn food to come?"

"But…what if he doesn't call? What if…" she dropped her fork.

"Bells, let's not go there, ok? He's going to call."

She looked at him with big tear filled eyes. "I'm scared, Charlie," she whispered.

Charlie leaned forward, and took both of her hands in his. "Are you sure he loves you?"

"Yes," she sighed.

"And you're sure you love him?"

"I am."

"Then, everything's going to be fine, Bells," he smiled. Chief Pollyanna Swan strikes again. "Ah, the food! Finally!" Irina walked over, carrying a large tray filled with dishes. "About time it got here! I was beginning to wonder if I should change my order to breakfast," Charlie smirked.

"You're lucky you're chief of police," Irina slid a plate filled with sliced turkey smothered in brown gravy in front of him.

The aroma of her stir fried vegetables surrounded her, and once more, Bella was aware of her hunger. She quickly shoveled a forkful into her mouth, savoring the flavor.

Swallowing hard, she looked up at her father, who was contentedly spooning some of his brown gravy onto his mashed potatoes.

"Thanks, Charlie."

He looked up at her, eyes smiling. "No problem, kid."

**So, we know Bella's intent is to stay with Edward, regardless...but...what about Edward? Poor thing's been sedated to sleep. Jasper's risen to the occasion, though. And, perhaps, Emmett's seeing Rosalie for the first time...let's see what the next chapter brings, shall we?**

**Once again, thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! I really do love getting feedback from you :) As I said before, if you like this little story, please tell your friends :)**

**Again, thank you for sticking with my little story :D**


	20. Chapter 20: The KKK Took My Baby Away

**Ok, FF being funky again tonight. Typed some really nice author notes here and it refused to save any of them. So let's try again.**

**Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing. I really do appreciate you sticking with me and continuing to read and review. And, if you like it, tell your friends. Everyone's welcome.**

**Business: Twilight, it's characters and it's situations are the property of the fertile imagination of Stephenie Meyer. If I had half the imagination and talent she has, do you think I'd be slaving away in corporate accounting? **

**Please read and enjoy, and as always, please review and let me know what you think!**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Chapter 20: The KKK Took My Baby Away**

She sat at the kitchen table, head bowed, hands clutching the half empty cup of coffee that she stared blindly into. Her cell phone sat on the table next to her, plugged in and almost recharged, but the only call she'd gotten in the last twenty four hours had been from Jessica and Angela, asking if she wanted to hit Port Angeles with them on Black Friday. Of course she'd declined. She needed to stay in Forks for her own kind of Black Friday. For when Edward called. And she was certain Edward would call. She just didn't know when.

She heard Charlie clomping down the steps in his heavy work boots and sat up, trying hard not to look like she'd spent most of the night lying in her bed, crying. But who was she even trying to kid? Not herself, and certainly not Charlie. Her red, puffy eyes were a dead give away. And even without that, Charlie, well, he was pretty astute.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie draped his jacket over the back of the kitchen chair. "You're up early."

She tried to smile. "I made coffee," she avoided the comment as she got up and poured a cup for her father.

He stared after her for a moment, hands on his hips.

"Hey, I have an idea," he sat down as she place the cup in front of him. "Why don't I play hooky from work today and we can go into Port Angeles. You know, pick up a tree and decorate and all that ho ho ho kinda crap?"

She shook her head. "I can't leave. Edward's going to call and I need to be here for him, Charlie."

Her father sighed. "Bells, he…it…that call might not come today."

"Still, I need to be close by him when it does come."

Charlie ran his hand through his short cropped black hair. "Listen, why don't we go to the diner then for breakfast?"

"You need to go to work, Charlie Swan," she took a sip of her coffee. "That's what the good people of Forks pay you for."

"I can go in a little late. I am the boss, you know," he grinned at her and she smiled. Just a little bit.

"I'm ok, Charlie. You don't have to do this."

"Of course I do, Bells.

"Really, it's ok."

"No, it's not. You're hurting. And I'm your father. I'm here for you, Bells. I want to be here for you," he reached out and took her hand in his. "Let me buy you breakfast. It won't take that long, and I'll go to work right after so I'm out of your hair for the rest of the day, and you can sit here staring at that phone, willing it to ring, OK?"

She looked up at him, burning eyes brimming with more tears. "But…what if he calls while I'm gone?"

"You'll have your phone with you," he motioned to the phone sitting on the table. "You know he never calls the house phone. And I promise, if we're still at the diner when he calls, we'll leave right then and there and I'll drop you right at the house myself," he grinned at her. "I won't even stop for another sip of coffee. Just up and out!"

She looked at her father with appreciation. He was so loyal. Like a Boy Scout. Or a golden retriever. Good old reliable Charlie Swan. The Pollyanna to end all Pollyanna's.

"The solution to the worlds problems are all in that diner for you, aren't they?"

His moustache twitched as he grinned. "It's a magical place, Bells. Filled with pancakes and Belgian waffles. Sausages the size of your head! And Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!"

She smiled despite herself, rolling her eyes at her father. "Ok, I know meat makes you happy, you cave man, so we'll go to breakfast at your precious diner. Just…just let me go clean up a bit."

"You go do that. I'll sit here and finish my coffee while you do."

"Hey," she stopped in the doorway, turning to look at him. "Charlie?"

"Yeah?" He turned his head toward her.

"Whose coffee is better? Mine or that diner?"

"Yours, of course," he grinned.

"You're not lying, are you?" She looked at him warily.

"Hell no! You brew an awesome pot of joe, my dear," he lifted his mug to his lips, smiling.

"You're not just trying to make me feel better, are you?"

"Nope. I wouldn't say it if it weren't true. We _are_ talking about coffee here, and you know how serious we cops are about our coffee. You brew a mean cup of coffee, Bells."

She smiled at him.

"It's genetic you know. Trait comes from the father's side," he grinned widely at her.

"You…Charlie, what am I going to do with you?" She stood with her hands on her hips for a moment, before shuffling back into the kitchen and, taking him by surprise, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. "Worse yet, what would I do without you?"

He hugged her back tightly. "Well, for starters you would have to pay for your own damn breakfast," he smiled. "Now go get ready, because I'm hungry!"

The diner brought relative normalcy to Bella's morning. It bustled with people out and about, busy worrying about the first official day of the Christmas season. So much to do, so little time to do it in. Shopping, decorating, baking and general merriment. For a brief moment while sitting in their little booth, eating their breakfast, she fell into the whole spirit of the season herself. Fell into the Christmas carols playing in the diner. Fell into the sparkling garlands that had gone up overnight in the place. Fell into the thoughts of all she had to do to get ready. For a short time, issues weren't an issue.

Her phone sat on the table next to her as she nibbled on a short stack of banana pancakes. She didn't really think she was very hungry, but as with the night before, she surprised herself at how much she really ate.

"We have to stop coming here," she managed in between bites.

"Why's that?"

"I'm going to get like a heifer," she took a sip of orange juice.

"You're not going to get like a heifer," Charlie laughed. He knew the moment he left her she'd lapse back into her little Edward induced funk, but for now, he was happy to see her enjoying herself.

"I am! Everything here is like, carb based."

"Well, you don't eat meat. What else can you have?"

"Well, vegetables."

"You had vegetables last night."

"Yeah, but on a bed of rice."

"So, who told you to eat all the rice?" he smiled under his moustache.

"My stomach," she sighed, her face pinching in pain just a little bit at the memory of the night before. "I was hungry and it was good."

"Bells, just…eat. It's ok to eat right now. You don't do it all the time."

"Charlie," she looked up at him. "Do you think he'll call?"

Charlie saw her pain, and felt it right along with his only child. "He'll call, Bells. Edward, he…he just needs to sort some things out for himself right now."

"But…but I can help him."

"Bells," once again he reached across the table and took her hand in his. "This is something very personal. If he doesn't call, it just means that Edward needs a little space right now until he gets answers to his questions," he shook his head. "And right now, that kid's probably got a heap of questions."

"I want to be there for him," tears quietly slid down her face. She'd tossed on a pair of black leggings with her Doc Martens and a big Arizona Diamondback's sweatshirt she'd had for centuries. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail and she wore no makeup. She didn't even care if anyone saw her like this. The only thing she cared about, the only thing important to her right at this moment, was Edward. She had so many unanswered questions for him, and yet, she couldn't fathom how he had to feel, not knowing whether or not Rosalie had been telling the truth or just spinning another outlandish tale.

"You're right where he needs you to be right now," Charlie squeezed her soft, tiny hand with his big, rough one. "When that changes, trust me, he'll let you know."

As if on cue, the Kings of Leon's _Sex on Fire _started playing from her phone.

Edward's ringtone.

She couldn't get her hand on the phone to flip it open fast enough, and the tension on her face as she lifted the phone to her ear made Charlie wince in pain. He motioned to the waitress for the check and wiped his mouth with his napkin.

"Edward," her relieved voice sighed into the receiver, then she stiffened. "Oh, Dr. Cullen…" her voice trailed off.

Charlie watched the different expressions that crossed his daughters' face as she listened to whatever Carlisle was saying to her. Relief. Confusion. Anger. Frustration. The waitress handed him the check and he held on to it absently.

"But, Dr. Cullen, I want to be with him…no…no…I understand," she cast her eyes downward and closed them slowly, new tears spilling from them. "Thank you, sir," she pulled the phone away from her ear and reached across the table, handing the phone to her father. "He wants to talk to you for a minute."

Surprised, Charlie took the phone from her. "Carlisle, what can I do for you?" Now it was her turn to watch as her father listened to the doctor, nodding here and there as he did. "Well, I'll probably be there in about half an hour, so why don't you meet me there then?" He listened, then nodded again. "Ok, will do," and he flipped the phone shut, handing it back to Bella.

"What did he want," her voice was shaky.

"He just wants to ask me some questions. Probably about Rose and Big Cullen," Charlie slid out of the booth. "I wouldn't worry about it." Charlie tossed a few singles onto the table.

"Did he say anything about Edward to you?" She shivered as she pulled her coat on and buttoned it up. It wouldn't keep her warm. The chill she felt came from deep within her soul. It was the absence of Edward that made her so cold.

Charlie nodded, walking over to the cashier with her close behind him. "He said for you not to worry. He's just in no condition to see you right now."

"But what does that even mean?" Charlie took his changed from the cashier and held the door open for Bella to go out first.

"It means he's not in a good place, Bells. Maybe from the sedation. Maybe he feels ill from it. Maybe he's still really upset with Rosale. Maybe he's upset with his father for not letting him rip her head off when he wanted to."

"Did he say he wasn't in any condition to see me? Or that he wasn't in the mood to see me?" She slid into the passenger's side of the Police cruiser.

"He said he's not in any condition," Charlie slid behind the wheel. "Really, Bells. Stop reading stuff into things. Edward was heavily sedated yesterday. He's not going to be turning cartwheels and skipping through meadows today," he pulled the cruiser out of the parking lot and onto the main drag of now empty downtown Forks. Most everyone had left town, either for the Thanksgiving weekend, or to go shopping in Port Angeles and Seattle.

"He told me that Edward was ok, but couldn't talk to me right now," she looked down at her hands in her lap. "You think he was lying?"

"No, I think he was being honest. Why would he call just to lie to you?"

"I don't know! Charlie, I'm so scared right now!"

"Scared of what?" Charlie's voice was soft and even.

"I'm scared that what Rosalie said was true," she said softly. And, even softer, she said "What if it is and he goes back to her?"

"You can't let 'what ifs' run your life, Bells," Charlie turned into their short driveway, her truck parked at the top. "What ifs are never good. Deal with the facts. And the fact here is that Edward loves you very much."

She opened the door and got out. A light mist was falling, but she didn't bother pulling her hood up.

Charlie leaned over toward the open door. "You want me to come in with you?"

"I'm fine," she closed the door and headed up the front path. She fumbled with her key in the door before opening it and slipping inside, slamming it shut behind her.

She watched him pull out of the driveway and head back into town from the living room window. Once he was out of sight, she ran up to her bedroom, grabbing her bag and her keys, and headed out to her truck. Carlisle would be leaving the house right about now, no doubt, to get to the police station to talk to Charlie. She was sure Esme wouldn't keep her from Edward. Esme was a woman. A mother. Esme would understand. Esme would let her see Edward, regardless of what Dr. Cullen thought.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Carlisle Cullen walked out the kitchen door and headed toward the garage, feeling the angry glare before he even saw it.

"Edward, you should get inside. It's cold and wet out here," he said as he approached the small porch where Edward sat smoking a cigarette, plaid blanket pulled tightly around him.

"Gee, thanks for the concern, Dad." He lifted a bottle of beer that sat between his feet to his lips and took a long pull from it, oblivious to the fact that the light mist was turning into a heavier, steadier fall of rain.

Carlisle took his son in. He was wearing the striped pajamas that Esme had laid out for him once she finally got him into the shower earlier in the morning, with a plaid flannel shirt over top. The blanket was from his bed, and he wrapped himself in it against the cold. For some odd reason, he'd chosen to put on his black dress shoes to wear out here, sitting in the rain, washing his cigarette down with a beer.

"Edward," Carlisle took a deep breath, but shook his head, unwilling to continue. It had been a hard night for everyone, and harder still for Edward. It had been an even harder morning for them all once the sedation wore off and the questions began. It was hardest on Esme and Carlisle, however, and Carlisle had done his level best to ensure that only he became caught in Edward's cross hairs.

"I need to go into town. I'll be back in a little while," Carlisle headed toward the black Mercedes.

"Another secret you're not sharing with me, _Dad_?"

He stopped, feeling his back stiffening. He couldn't blame his son, of course. And he deserved this. Deserved Edward's ire. Deserved to lose his trust.

He turned, facing his son. Edward's bronze hair was in wild disarray as his green eyes flashed with anger at him. The dark purple crescents under his eyes that Carlisle knew he was responsible for gave him a sad, pathetic look. And Carlisle's heart went out to his son, in more ways than the boy would ever know.

"I don't know how else to tell you how sorry I am, Edward," his voice was low, sincere.

"I don't know how to make this up to you, but I'm going to try."

"So you say," Edward took a drag on the stub of cigarette between his fingers and held the smoke in for a second, feeling the calm overtake him. He'd missed his cigarettes. "Personally, I think you're just sorry that you got caught in your web of deceit. You don't know how to make it up to me because it was never intended for me to find out in the first place, was it?"

"Edward…"

"This is my life," Edward was shouting now. "How dare you take it away from me! You aren't even my father! You're _nothing_ to me! How dare you," he shook his head, and laughed a little. "But, it's all for my own good, of course. _Father_ knows best."

He snuffed the remains of the cigarette into the sand bucket and put the nearly empty bottle of beer back down on the step between his feet. He sighed heavily and buried his face in his hands.

Carlisle took in the tortured, lifeless creature that was the shell of his son, and swallowed down the lump that formed in his throat. "I can only hope that some day you will understand, Edward. Understand the choices I made, and the reasons I made them. Understand that I did what I did out of love for you."

"I can't," Edward murmured into his hands. "I can't, because you made my decisions for me, without me even knowing," he shook his head, pulling his hands away. He didn't look up at his father, instead staring blindly at his own feet. "I don't think I can ever forgive you for that, _Carlisle_."

It hurt, so much more than any of the other words Edward had hurled at him all morning. Hurt him more than being torn flesh from bone would hurt, he knew. Edward had never, in all the years he'd lived with them, ever called him _Carlisle_ to his face. Until now.

Not knowing what to say, Carlisle nodded his head and continued into the garage numbly, while Edward sat motionless on his smoking step, jaw slack, mouth slightly open, eyes unseeing. Mind somewhere far off in the past.

Carlisle pulled down the winding driveway quickly, trying to focus on the road ahead of him instead of how deeply he had hurt his beloved Edward.

He deserved it, deserved every harsh word Edward had for him. Deserved the anger that Edward was now directing at him. He'd successfully deflected all of the blame onto him, knowing full well that being rejected by Edward would surely kill his wife, and possibly kill Edward as well. So he'd sat there, insisting that he'd been responsible for it all, taking full on blame for everything and taking every epithet, every curse, every ounce of venom that Edward spewed at him. He absorbed it all, hoping it would assuage his guilt. But, it had not. Edward was right. Every angry word he had said was right. Carlisle was indeed a coward. A son of a bitch. A bastard. Who did he think he was? Well, while he didn't know who he thought he was, he knew damn well who he wasn't. He wasn't Edward's father. At least, he wasn't anymore.

He'd always thought of himself as a good father. A loving father. A caring father. He thought back to that first night that Edward stayed with them. How Esme had sat up all night, holding the frightened child, _her_ frightened child, as he slept. And how Carlisle had spent the night in the rocking chair in the room, keeping watch. How many nights had he spent in that chair, watching his son with wonder as he slept? He'd lost count ages ago. So many of the truly joyous moments of his life revolved around his wife and his children, Edward in particular. Edward was, after all, their first. This beautiful, wild haired, happy, perfect cherub of a child. The child who's emerald eyes would dance with joy every time Carlisle came home from work. The child who'd turned a happy couple into a happy family. The child whose life he had inadvertently ruined by trying to protect him.

He turned onto the narrow country road and gunned the engine of the Mercedes, watching as the trees along the side of the road turned into nothing more than a green and brown blur. The speed was liberating and for a moment, exhilarating. He roared past a loud, rusty vehicle as it plodded along slowly in the opposite direction. Poor bastard would probably never know the thrill of the speed that Carlisle was traveling at. Carlisle floored the gas pedal and let the Mercedes do what came naturally to it.

Bella rang the doorbell twice quickly, then thumped her fist on the pristine white door of the Cullen house. Impatiently, she rang the bell again.

"Come on! I know you're all home!" She pushed the bell again.

The door opened slightly, and she could see Alice's dark wide eye peering out at her.

"This isn't a good time, Bella."

"Alice, let me in!"

"He's not ready to see you. That's why he hasn't called you yet. He's not in a good place, Bella."

"Alice Cullen, if you don't open this fucking door and let me in right now, I'm going to just shove my way in! And don't think I won't do it, because I will!" She felt like the big, bad wolf threatening to huff and puff and blow the little piggie's house right down.

Alice opened the door, but stood between Bella and entrance into the front hall.

"Edward is not in a good place right now," she repeated more firmly.

"Alice, I want to see my boyfriend," Bella was on the verge of frantic.

"Bella, I'm sorry, but this is for your own good. You don't want to see him like this," Alice crossed her arms across her flat chest.

"Is he still sedated?"

"No, he's quite awake. He looks like the morning after the night before, and he's in a foul, horrible mood," she sighed. "You shouldn't see him like this. He shouldn't see you like this."

"Shouldn't we judge that for ourselves, Alice?"

"I'm only trying to do what's best for my brother, Bella. And for you too."

"I love him, Alice. Regardless."

Alice looked down, feeling guilty. She knew that in the same situation, if someone stood between her and a troubled Jasper, she would be acting just like Bella was.

She sighed. "OK, but if he refuses to see you, just remember it's your own fault." She stepped aside and let Bella cross the threshold.

Jasper met her, standing in the middle of the hallway.

"Hello, Bella," he smiled at her. "Why don't you have a seat in the living room? I'll go see if Edward wants some company."

She moved cautiously into the pristine room. There were no signs of the trays of appetizers and makeshift bar today. In fact, it looked like a team of maintenance people had gone through the room vacuuming, dusting, straightening and waxing. She took a seat in the plush chair that Alice and Jasper had been sitting on the day before.

"Edward's outside having a cigarette, Jasper," Esme walked into the room slowly from the kitchen. While she was dressed neatly, in brown slacks and a cream silk blouse, Bella could see the dark circles under her eyes, along with a weariness that didn't come from lack of sleep.

"I'll go let him know that Bella is here," Jasper dutifully exited the room, leaving the women alone.

"Please don't be upset or disappointed if Edward refuses to see you, Bella," Esme's voice was soft. "He's not exactly in a very good frame of mind today," she sank down slowly onto the ottoman of a wide, tufted chair across the coffee table from where Bella sat, Alice propping herself up on the arm of the chair behind her mother defensively.

"I just had to see for myself if he was ok, Mrs. Cullen."

"Very…admirable, Bella," Esme smiled a tight, stressed smile. "I can assure you we are taking very good care of him, dear."

"I don't doubt that you are," Bella returned the smile. "But after yesterday, I need to see him. I need for him to see me. To see that I'm still here for him. Regardless."

"That's very sweet of you, to think of our Edward that way," Esme's smile was forced.

The kitchen door slammed loudly, and both Esme and Alice jumped.

Edward came flying into the room, damp blanket still wrapped tightly around him. He moved swiftly over to where Bella sat stunned and motionless, standing over her as he glared down at her.

"Why are you here? Who called you," he demanded through clenched teeth.

She instinctively cringed away from him. "No one. I came when I didn't hear from you to see how you were doing."

"Bullshit. Carlisle called you and you know it. Stop fucking lying to me!" He stomped over to the sofa and flopped down on the edge. "I swear to God you people will never learn to mind your own fucking business, will you?" Anger flared from his glowing green eyes. "You don't really care how much damage you inflict, who gets hurt or who gets destroyed, do you?" His stubbled jaw was clenched tightly, the muscles in his neck popping.

Esme looked down at the floor, noting to herself that the rug needed to be shampooed. She wanted to think of anything other than how wounded her child was, and by her own hand at that.

"I didn't come here to upset you, Edward, but it looks like that's just what I've done. I'll leave now," Bella began to get up from her chair, but Edward stopped her.

"Well, you're already here, now aren't you," he hissed. "So, the damage is already done," everyone appeared to be a target for him, Bella included, and she could only imagine what had set him off into such an angry frenzy.

"I…I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to do…uh…damage…," she looked down at her hands, nervously twisting them in her lap as her face burned red.

"It's better this way," he sighed, running a long, pale hand through his wild copper hair.

"I just wanted you to know that I…that I'm here for you. Regardless, I'm here," she looked up at him through her lashes. This wasn't her Edward. This was some wild eyed, pale, empty vessel that looked like Edward. A shadow of her Edward.

"Listen, Bella…about that…" his voice trailed off, and he closed his eyes for a moment, clearing his throat, trying to find the right tone. "I…I don't want you to be there for me."

She looked up at him with shocked eyes as the color drained from her face, leaving her paler than before. "What did you say?"

"I said I don't want you to be there for me," he sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. "Truth is, you're no good for me, Bella," he shook his head. "You never were."

"Edward...I…I don't understand," she stammered. "What do you mean that I'm no good for you?" Her jaw hung slack as her stomach clenched into knots that were hell bent on doing flips in their confined little space. She felt a wave of nausea pass over her.

"I mean that, when I'm with you, I think…I think that I'm a good person. And I'm not," his voice had grown cool. "I'm not really the person I pretend to be when I'm with you," he looked down, closing his eyes and swallowing hard. "I'm sorry, Bella, but it's better this way."

"That's not true," she breathed. "Edward, that's just not true!" She slid off the chair, falling to her knees in front of him. "You _are_ a good person, Edward! You're the best person I know!"

"I'm not," he shook his head. "It was all an act. A lie," he shot a look at his mother. "We Cullens are nothing if not good liars, right, Mom?" His mother turned her head, looking away from him.

"No, Edward. That's not true," her throat had gone dry and she could barely squeak out the words.

"On top of that, there's this other issue I'm dealing with right now, and it wouldn't be fair to continue to string you along," he closed his eyes, swallowing hard again.

"You…you don't even know if what Rosalie said is true…" her thin voice trailed off.

"Regardless, it's better this way."

"Edward, you don't mean this. We can get through this. We can get through this together," she shuffled on her knees so that she was leaning right up against his legs, reaching for his hands. She half expected him to recoil from her touch, but he didn't. "We can get through anything as long as we're together." She laced her fingers through his.

Edward held steadfast, ignoring her pleas. "I'll go to see Mrs. Cope in the office on Monday. Try to get my biology class changed," he avoided looking at her, instead staring down at the floor. "If not, I'll explain to Mr. Banner that we're no longer together, and request a different lab partner," he swallowed again, closing his eyes. "A clean break would be best." He untwisted his fingers from hers.

"Edward," her voice was a wispy breath. "Are you…are you breaking up with me?" She couldn't help it. Her words strangled in her dry throat as tears sprang from her eyes.

"Yeah," he looked at her, his voice matching his ice cold green eyes. "I am."

The floor slipped out from beneath her and she was falling. Falling. Falling into oblivion. Her world spiraled out of control while he sat there, regarding her coldly, like one would regard gum on the sole of a new designer shoe.

"You don't mean that," she breathed.

Angry green eyes met hurt chocolate eyes. If he was moved by what he saw playing out in her big brown eyes, she couldn't tell. "Yeah, I do." He didn't even flinch when he whispered it. Instead, he closed his eyes again and turned his head away from her.

She swallowed once, trying to stop her free fall. Trying to right herself. Regain her composure. Her dignity. She wouldn't beg. No. She would never beg.

Instead, she backed away slightly from him, and stood up.

"Ok, fine. If that's what you want," she managed to croak out of her parched throat.

"It is," he kept his eyes downcast, half closed.

"Then, that's what you'll have, Edward."

She turned and walked from the room, head held high. She didn't pause to look at Alice or Esme, but she heard Alice sniffle as she walked past her and she knew she was crying. She knew if she stopped or looked at her, she'd burst into tears, and that was the last thing she wanted. The last thing she wanted was to give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd hurt her as deeply as he had. She knew he was hurting, and he was lashing out, but he'd spoken to her in such a hateful way that what he said had to be true. She wondered how he'd managed to keep his masquerade up as long as he had, hating her so much. _No wonder he never wanted me_, she cried silently to herself.

She managed to hold it together until she got into her truck, slamming the door hard behind her. That was when her world fell apart. Angry, hurt sobs burst forth from her very soul, wracking her small, numb body. Tears flowed freely, blurring her vision as they mirrored the rain falling on the windshield. Her small hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, as though her very life depended on her holding on tight as possible.

The door of the truck cab pulled open.

"Edward," she cried, turning expectantly toward the open door.

"Slide over, Bella," Alice stood in the light rain, blue oxford blouse wet and stuck to her tiny frame. How long had she been standing there?

"Alice," she sobbed, sliding across to the passenger's seat of the old truck. "W-what are you d-doing?"

"You think I'm going to let you drive home in this condition?" Alice turned the key in the ignition and the old truck roared to life noisily.

"Alice, I-I'm s-sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so, so s-sorry I came here. Pl-please tell him that! Please tell him I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to cause any damage!" It all came out in a rush of words and sobs.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Bella," Alice's voice was soft. Her face was wet from the rain and droplets formed on the tips of her spiky wet bangs, dropping off and dripping down her face like sad, fat tears. "I told you he wasn't in a good place."

"I upset him. I made him mad. I shouldn't have come," her voice was frantic.

"You didn't make him mad, Bella. He was already mad," Alice stared ahead as she shifted the truck into drive and began to turn it around in the driveway.

"N-n-no," she hiccupped. "He was so angry with me!" She curled up against the door, pulling her coat tightly around herself. "He's so, so angry with me for not waiting for his call."

"He's not mad at you, Bella," she repeated, navigating the ancient truck slowly down the narrow country road.

"He broke up with me," she wrapped her arms around her shivering body tightly. "He hates me."

"He doesn't hate you," Alice's voice was so calm that it amazed Bella. How could she do that after what had happened in the Cullen living room?

They drove through the empty center of town. Most of the residents had gone off for the long weekend. Maybe they were off on Thanksgiving skiing trips or had gone into the city to shop or maybe they were just over the river and through the woods. The truck stopped at a red light. No other cars were on the desolate, wet road.

"He hates me. He…he left me," fresh tears stung as they flowed from her already sore eyes.

"He doesn't hate you. He just wants someone else to hurt as much as he does right now. You were an easy target," the light turned green and the truck slowly rolled through the town, turning off onto the street the Swan's lived on. "It was a cheap shot on his part."

Alice pulled into the driveway.

"How are you going to get home, Alice?"

"Jazz should be here any minute to get me," she smiled at her. It was a shy but sincere smile. "We couldn't let you come home alone. I know Charlie's at the station. We can stay with you if you want."

"You…you've done more than I could ask for, Alice," she wiped her wet, red eyes with the backs of her hands. "I don't deserve it."

"Bella," Alice reached across the seat and took her hand. "I know it's probably hard to believe, but I consider you my sister."

Bella snorted. "That's kind of not going to happen," she sniffled.

"Bella, Edward is very, very upset. Very angry," Alice laced her tiny fingers into Bella's. "He…he's not thinking very clearly right now."

"From the sedatives?"

"No, from…from other things."

"What other things?"

Alice shook her head, tiny droplets of water spattering from her hair. "It's not my place to tell you. He has to do that himself."

"Alice, he just dumped me," Bella shook her head, looking down. "He dumped me," her voice was a little whine.

"Bella, I told you," she opened the car door and stepped out into the rain once more. "He's not in his right mind."

Bella got out and followed Alice up the front steps of her house.

"I don't understand what you're talking about, Alice," she unlocked the door, letting the two of them into the dry warmth of the house.

"He's angry. He's upset. He's, well, he's cutting off his own nose to spite his face," Alice shook her head. "It's not for me to tell you. He has to do that. He will do that. In his own time."

"I doubt it. You heard what he said." She took off her wet coat, draping it over the banister to dry. "Alice, look at you. You're soaked."

"I'm ok," she wrapped her arms around herself, feeling the damp chill for the first time.

"Let me at least get you a towel to dry off with," Bella clomped up the stairs, her wet sneakers squeaking on the wood as Jasper knocked on the door.

"It's just Jazz," Alice called up the stairs as she opened the door, letting her love in. "Hey, why are you so dry and I'm drenched?"

"Because I had the good sense to get into the car, instead of standing outside of it for ten minutes," he smirked and planted a kiss on her damp cheek.

"She needed to cry a little bit, Jazz. She needed to cry a little bit alone."

"Think he'll come to his senses soon?" He sat down on the bottom step as Bella stepped around him holding towels for Alice.

"Thanks, Bella," she took the fluffy white towel and began to dry herself off. "And he better come to his senses really soon. I'd hate to have to hit him."

"You…you're really being nice," Bella flopped down next to Jasper. "But, it's ok. If he doesn't want to see me anymore, well, that's his prerogative," she closed her eyes. "No one ever said it was forever."

Across town, Dr. Carlisle Cullen stepped into the office of the Chief of Police and closed the door behind him. His usually boyish face showed his age.

"Carlisle," Charlie Swan stood up, extending his hand.

"Charlie," Carlisle shook firmly.

"Please, sit down."

"Thank you," the refined doctor sat in the chair in front of Charlie's desk, crossing his right leg over his left knee.

"So, you said you needed a favor," Charlie spun a pencil between two fingers as he leaned back in his chair.

"Indeed, I do…"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Two snaps up if you can figure out where the description of Edward sitting on his smoking step is from :D**

**And then we have a bit of a dun...dun...DUN.**

**I dunno what's going on...do you? :P**

**Just another bit of business: Real Life is really biting me big time. So, the next chapter might be delayed. Fear not. It's on it's way...it's just taking the local instead of the express.**

**Once again, a heart felt thanks to everyone who's reading and sticking with my little story. And, again, if you like it, just press that little review button and tell me. Or, if you don't, let me know that too! All feedback is welcome! And, if you like what you're reading, tell a friend or two!**


	21. Chapter 21: Animal Boy

**So...where were we? Ah, yes, Edward had just rather unceremoniously dumped Bella in front of his family in an amazingly cruel way. And after all she'd done for him :O**

**Big thanks to everyone who's sticking with my little story and to everyone who's reviewing it! It makes me feel good knowing that someone else is enjoying my work besides me :)**

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**The usual business: Twilight, its characters and situations, do not belong to me. They are the property of the very lucky Stephenie Meyer. **

**Please enjoy, and if you do, remember to click on the review button and leave me a note!**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 21: Animal Boy**

She flipped on the light, squinting and cringing back from it as she did. She felt like she'd been hit by a semi. Not that she'd ever actually been hit by a giant eighteen wheeled truck. But, if she imagined ever being run over by a tractor trailer truck, she was certain that this would be what it felt like.

She squeezed her eyes shut against the harsh glare from the bathroom mirror, trying in vain to acclimate herself to the brightness. She was losing the battle.

"Fuck it," she mumbled and forced her eyes to open wide, grimacing as the light assaulted her sore eyes.

As her reflection came into focus, she saw the hot mess she was staring back at her. Hair disheveled, half out of the ponytail it had spent the entire day slicked back into. Eyes, red and swollen from crying, begging for the offending light to be extinguished. A nose redder than Rudolph's sat square in the middle of her face, causing her to make a mental note to pick up a box of those special soft tissues that didn't irritate like the regular ones obviously did. And from all that nose running and nose blowing that had gone on all night, her upper lip was cracked and chapped. Lovely.

Quietly, she padded down the stairs in her bare feet, careful not to turn on the light or make enough noise to waken the snoring Charlie. Her too long Hello Kitty pajama pants slid under her feet as she walked causing her to skid and almost fall when she hit the hard wood floor at the bottom of the staircase too quickly.

She shuffled carefully into the kitchen and opened the cabinets, looking for the elusive box of tea. The Swan's were strictly coffee people, but there was always a box of tea around in case people of the other persuasion happened by. Finding what she was looking for, she pulled two teabags from the box and moistened them, squeezing out the excess water so she didn't drip tea as she made her way into the living room. The clock on the microwave flashed 5:23 AM in bold green numbers at her. It was still dark outside, and would be for some time.

She laid down on her back on the living room sofa, and carefully placed one tea bag on each of her sore, puffy eyes. She laid her hand over the bags, wincing slightly at the subtle sting as she applied light pressure. She was certain she could feel the positive effects of the tea bags immediately. Of course, it could have been nothing but wishful thinking, but she knew this old trick worked, and had worked for her many times.

So, she lay in the quiet dark of the living room, thinking. She had frittered away the entire night, thinking. And crying. And blowing her running red nose. As nights went, this one would forever live in the annals of 'Worst Night Ever', right along with that one time she got drunk and spent the night on the bathroom floor with dry heaves while Renee stood over her, sarcastically asking if she was ready to get drunk again. If it were at all possible, she managed to feel better the morning after that horrific night than she did now.

Logically, she knew Edward didn't hate her. At least, not as much as it appeared he did. He was angry. He was hurting. He needed to vent. She understood this. He needed a dog to kick, and Bella just happened in at the wrong time and became the sacrificial Schnauzer.

She couldn't lie to herself. It hurt. The things he said to her? Yeah. Hurtful. Hateful, even. She wasn't good for him? Maybe he was right in a way. Except, maybe he had it a little bit backward. Maybe _he_ wasn't good for _her_. Maybe he really wasn't a good person, and therefore not a good fit for her. Maybe she was too good for him. Considering the number of times in their short relationship he'd hurt her in some harsh way. Cut her to the bone. Confused her. Always leaving her to be the understanding one, the one who held up the emotional end of the relationship while he was off, flaking out some where. Always leaving her to be the strong one. The rational one. The one who believed in _them_, fought for _them_.

That was something he never seemed to do. He never seemed to believe in them enough to fight for them. She was always the one pushing and pulling him. The one who had to sit back and tell him that it was all ok. That she understood and it didn't matter because she loved him.

Like ivy crawling up the trunk of a tree, she twisted and adapted, winding herself around him.

And she was tired of it. She had bent herself to the point of breaking.

It didn't matter that he told her he loved her. Those were just words. His actions spoke volumes to her. And she was finally getting the message loud and clear.

Bella and Edward were over.

There would be no more tears. No more sleepless nights. No more begging or pleading. She was going to have none of that. From now on, it was going to be about Bella, not Edward.

She sighed, wishing she felt relief at her decision. She knew it was for the best. She knew that, as long as she allowed Edward to treat her like he did, as long as she kept up the "we can work it out together, baby," bullshit, he'd continue to treat her in the same way. If Edward Cullen changed his mind and decided he wanted her back, well, he was going to have to be the one doing the begging this time.

She felt at peace with her decision and relaxed, dozing off just as daylight broke the bitter darkness of night.

"Bells, you ok?" Charlie's concerned voice woke her from her unintended nap.

"Huh…" she groaned as she opened her eyes to darkness before realizing the now dry teabags were still over her eyes. She yanked them off her face and sat up. The room was bright as morning filtered in through the picture window. "Uh…yeah, Charlie, I'm fine."

"Trouble sleeping?" She noticed he was in his uniform already.

"You could say that," she sighed as she stood up. "Want some breakfast?"

"I was just going to put up a pot of coffee. Or are you having tea?" His dark moustache twitched up into a smile.

She looked at the dried up teabags in her hand. "It's an old beauty trick," she tried to smile. "Had my cry, so now it's time to pretty myself up and face the world."

Charlie sat down on the sofa next to her. "You doing ok?"

She nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I think I'll live."

"You were pretty upset last night," he put an arm around her shoulder protectively pulling her against his chest. "I'll admit it. I wanted to go to that big house, find that pretty boy, and rip his nuts right off him. We could spray paint them silver and gold, and hang them on the top of the tree."

"Charlie," she giggled. "Thank you, but I'm a big girl. If there are nuts to be ripped off and hung on the tree, I'll do the ripping and hanging, thank you very much."

Charlie looked at her, noting to himself that her eyes looked far less swollen than they had been when she finally went up to bed last night. Something in them had changed too.

He smiled. "You feeling ok?"

"Charlie," she sighed, suddenly feeling very old. "I had an epiphany on this very sofa."

"Did you now?"

"Yep, I sure did."

"About Edward?"

"Yep, and about Edward and me."

"So?"

"He doesn't deserve me."

Charlie looked at her, eyebrows raised. "You don't say?"

"Indeed, I say."

"And how did you reach this epiphany?"

"I was just lying here, thinking. Every time there was some, I don't know…adversity? Any time adversity of any kind came up, Edward just ran from it, you know? Just threw in the towel and high tailed it on up to his ivory tower over at Casa Cullen."

Charlie snorted. "Casa Cullen? They didn't name that monstrosity of a house that, did they?"

"Nah," she smirked. "That's just what I call it."

"That'd be funny though, huh?"

"It would be," she agreed before continuing. "I'm not giving right to what Rosalie did to him, you know. Not on any level. Or to your buddy Dimples there. But, the fact remains that I'm not his dog and he can't kick me every time something doesn't go his way."

"If he ever kicked you, I'd rip off more than just his nuts," he nodded. "And I'd mess up that pretty little face of his."

"Thank you, Charlie," she rested her head on her father's shoulder. "Thing is, I'm always there for him, you know? I'm supportive of him and of us. I didn't deserve that yesterday. And there's no way in hell I'm going to stand for it."

There was a long silence as father and daughter sat together on the sofa, each lost in their own thoughts. Charlie broke the silence first. "I'm proud of you, Bells. I know how hard this choice has to be for you. I know how you feel about him."

She drew in a deep breath. "I won't lie, Charlie. Those feelings? They're still there and it hurts. It hurts like crazy," she shook her head. "But, I just have to deal with it. He's hurting, I know that. And I'm hurting too. So, I guess we're even in that regard, huh?"

"I guess you are. The only difference is that you'll get along fine without him. But what's he going to do without you?"

"That's his problem. As things stand, I can't worry about him anymore, because he doesn't worry about me."

Charlie tightened his arm around her shoulder, pulling her tightly to him. "I'm proud of you, Bells."

"So, do you really have to go to work today?"

"Actually," he smiled. "today is my day off. I was just going to go in since I had nothing else to do and I figured you'd want to be alone today."

"How about we head into Port Angeles and start our Christmas crap today?"

"Christmas crap," his dark eyes glinted. "Now, you can't get your crap any more festive than that, can you?"

"Nope. And we should go get our crap while the crap getting's good. You know what they say."

He glanced down at her. "The early bird gets the good crap?"

"Exactly!" She stood up. "You go put up a pot of coffee and I'll jump in the shower, ok?"

"You got it, Bells," Charlie stood up from the sofa slowly, watching as his daughter, so glum and miserable just twelve hours earlier, skipped up the steps with her new attitude. He couldn't help but worry when the crash and burn would come.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

He'd not relinquished his grip on the blanket. He couldn't. Not yet. It hurt too much. The blanket, held tightly, kept it all together. Kept him together. Held it all in. Kept the pain away.

He sat in his reading chair, knees drawn up to his chest, plaid blanket pulled tightly around himself, rocking back and forth. With the exception of striking out at everyone and anyone who crossed his path, he'd stayed in this chair, in this position since he pushed Bella away.

It was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life.

Bella was what he needed. She was the air he breathed. She was life. She was love. His life. His love.

And in one swift motion, he'd cut off his own air supply. Now he was suffocating.

He had been harsh, mean. He'd cut her to the very core, he knew. But, it was the only way. If he had shown even the slightest hesitation, the smallest crack in his cold, uncaring facade, she would have picked up on it. She would have known. She would have seen right through him. She knew him better than he knew himself. She would have never believed him. He had no choice but to attack her in the way he did in order for her to do what was best for her. In order for her to leave him.

And it felt like his very soul had been violently ripped right out of him when she walked out of that room, out of his life.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, feeling the tears trickling down from his eyes.

He hated it. Hated hurting her. Hated losing her, but…what the hell did he even have left to offer her? She didn't deserve him and his baggage. She deserved someone far better. She deserved so much more than what he had. He had, well, he had less than nothing. All he could do was weigh her down, and sink her down to his level. And that was the last thing he ever wanted to do to her. He loved her far too much to drag her down with him.

Once upon a time, he'd had hopes and dreams…college, maybe medical school, marriage, children, a home…hopes and dreams that were dashed on the rocks in a single moment.

Now, all he had was a dark emptiness. A gaping maw threatening to engulf him, along with whomever was close enough to him to get themselves caught up in the vortex of his life. Who would want anyone who could only offer that?

He heard a light rapping on his door.

He lifted his heavy head up. "Go away," he grunted angrily.

"Edward, it's me," came the small voice.

"Even you, Alice. Just…just go away," he laid his head back down on the chair back, laying his hand over his eyes.

"But I have some lunch for you," she whined, and he knew she would do anything to get into this room to be with him. She wouldn't take no for an answer, and she'd nag and nag until she wore him down. "You haven't had anything to eat at all today, Edward. You need to eat something."

It was true he hadn't eaten a thing since the day before, but it was also true that he had no appetite, and he didn't care if he never ate again.

"I'm not hungry, Alice. Just go away!"

"Edward…please," she was begging. "Please, Edward, for God's sakes, let me _in_."

And he knew she wasn't talking about the room.

Slowly, he rose from the chair, stiff from sitting in the same position for so long. He pulled his blanket tightly around his body, and shuffled over to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open slightly, peeking out at her.

"I told you, I'm not hungry."

"Edward," she sighed. "Please."

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard before opening the door more, inviting her in. He could never deny Alice anything she wanted.

"Only for a minute."

She slipped into the room, holding a tray of food in front of her, and moved quickly over to his dresser, placing the tray on top of it.

"I brought you some soup. And crackers."

"I don't want anything, Alice," he sat down on the edge of his bed, eyes cast downward.

"I made it just for you this morning," her voice was hurt. "Chicken soup. It's good for the soul, Edward."

"That's just a dumb book, Alice," he ran his hand through his disheveled bronze hair.

"Not when it's made with love it's not," she knelt down in front of him. "Edward, let me in. Let me help you."

His sad, empty green eyes met her hopeful dark orbs. "No one can help me, Alice," he breathed. "I'm beyond help."

"That's not true! Edward, you don't even know if it's true!"

He closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"And so what if it is. You think you're the first guy to knock some girl up?"

His head shot up. "Alice!" His brow furrowed.

"Oh, please, Edward," she waved a hand at him dismissively. "What do you think? It's different for you?"

"Yes, it is different. It…it wasn't just sex."

"Are you kidding me," she snorted. "You were what? Fifteen? Yeah, it wasn't just about sex."

"It wasn't," he protested. "I had very strong feelings for her."

"Stronger than what you feel for Bella?"

He glared at his sister, green eyes blazing to life. "You leave her out of this. She has nothing to do with any of it."

"Oh, I'd say she has a whole hell of a lot to do with it."

"You don't know anything, Alice," he clenched his jaw tightly, muscles in his neck straining.

"That's where you're wrong, dear brother. I know a lot," she smirked at him. "I know, for example, that—"

"Don't say it," he cut her off angrily. "Don't say her name!"

"Bella," she crossed her arms defiantly. "Bella loves you. Bella loves you more than Victoria ever loved you. And you love her more than you loved Victoria."

"Shut up, Alice," he spoke through gritted teeth.

"No, Edward. You don't get to wallow in self pity. Not this time. This is about much more than you now."

"You think I don't know that?"

"With the way you're acting," she put her hands on her hips. "No."

"Well, for your information, I do know, Alice," he yelled at her. "I know who's involved and what's at stake," he looked down at the floor, closing his eyes and breathing heavily before continuing in a soft voice. "Why do you think I made her leave?"

"I think," she moved closer to him. "I think that you're terribly frightened, Edward," she knelt down in front of him, taking his trembling hands in hers. "And it's ok to be scared. I also know that you're angry at Mom and Dad, and rightfully so. But, Edward," she shook her head. "You need Bella. She's your strength."

"No," he shook his head. "Not this time. This is something I need to do alone. I can't drag her down with me any further than I already have." He looked up at her, green eyes imploring. "I owe it to her to set her free."

"Don't you think that should be her decision," tears fell silently down Alice's pale cheeks and Edward wiped them away with gentle fingers.

"Bella," he sighed. "Bella…she will always, always choose…us," he smiled despite himself, unaware of the tears falling from his own emerald eyes. "And…I can't let her do that. Not this time."

"She would support you, regardless, you know," Alice whispered.

"I know," he touched his forehead to Alice's. "But, I can't do that to her."

"But you love her."

"I do," his voice was a sigh. "But I'm no good for her. I don't deserve her."

"She doesn't deserve to be cut loose by you."

"She doesn't deserve to suffer because of me."

"Edward," Alice reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him off the bed and down onto the floor with her. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, allowing himself to find the slightest bit of comfort in his sister's arms. "I love you. Please promise me you'll think about what I've said?"

"I love you too, you insane pixie," he kissed the top of her head. "And I promise I'll think about it. Can you promise me something?"

"Of course."

"Promise me you'll watch her. Make sure she's ok? Be her friend, Alice?"

"Edward, she _is_ my friend."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

As it turned out, Charlie Swan had absolutely no Christmas decorations in the house at all, save for the cards and drawings that Bella had sent him for the holiday over the years, each of which he lovingly set out on the coffee table year after year. So, armed with this information, she set out to deck the halls of the Swan residence with glad tidings of comfort and joy for the season. Ho ho ho and all that crap.

She walked around the Christmas department of Goff's Department Store for quite some time, carefully considering the vast array of ornaments, lights and garlands. She had to admit, while it had been apparent from the first time she set foot in Goff's (with Edward, but she wouldn't think of that) that it catered more to the blue haired set and to the ladies who go to the salon once a week and then to lunch (at Goff's Café, located on the second floor mezzanine level), they had one hell of an awesome Christmas department. Now, all she had to do was decide on a theme. Something…quaint and traditional to go with the quaintness and traditionalness of Forks, perhaps? Was there even such a word as traditionalness? Or maybe go with the white lace snowflakes and Victorian styled mauve-y, lace-y ornaments for a softer look? Wait…how about something a bit more contemporary? She picked up a long muted fuchsia and lime green glass ornament decorated with stripes made of glittering white crystals. Fuchsia and lime green feathers dangled from top of it, dancing around as she twisted it back and forth between her fingers. A wide grin broke out across her face. She could definitely work with this color scheme.

Charlie stood off to the side, leaning against shelves filled with reindeer made from small logs of wood, arms laden with boxes of lights and packages of feathers and garlands. Bella held the basket containing the delicate blown glass ornaments as she walked toward him.

"Done yet?"

"Umm…I don't know. Do you think we have enough ornaments," she eyed the basket she held suspiciously.

"Well, we'll just get a tree small enough for them," his impatience with shopping was showing.

"No, there were some boxed ornaments. Just plain glass balls in these same colors," she squinted her eye as she thought. "I think I'll pick up a couple of boxes of them. I'll get like, two boxes of the shiny ones and two of the muted ones. You know, for filler. Unless…" her voice broke off as she furrowed her brow and turned to look back toward the ornaments.

"Unless….unless…what?" Charlie's voice was filled with panic. How long did it take to grab a box of Christmas balls and go?

"Unless, I go the traditional way and do the red and green thing. There was some awesome plaid ribbon with gold threads through it that I could wind around the tree…hmmm."

"You…you mean…you want to start from scratch? Put all this crap back and look for more crap but in different colors?" Charlie stared at her in disbelief as she nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, I could put some really nice evergreen garlands around the doorway instead of these fuchsia and lime green feather garlands. It'd be more…more…well, traditional," she nodded. "But also a little more masculine."

"Seriously, Bells, I don't care if you want to fill the whole damn house up with pink feathers and twinkle lights. I just want to get a tree and get home before morning," Charlie was starting to sound desperate.

"But, Charlie," she looked at him, feeling a little dejected. "Your theme is important. I mean, not only does it have to decorate the tree, but that theme has to run through the rest of the house. It has to reflect who we are."

"You…you're kidding, right," he looked at her in disbelief.

"Absolutely not. I'm totally serious. Mom used to change themes all the time, to reflect who we were, you know? Because people are dynamic. We change all the time, Charlie."

Charlie couldn't help but crack a smile at his former wife's expense. That was just so…Renee. He nodded, and his chuckled a little bit. "Now, that does sound like your mom."

"And, I happen to think it's important to make a statement, Charlie," she looked down, fingering the ornaments in her basket gently. "To let everyone who comes into the house know exactly who we are. What we're about. That we're happy, festive people, no matter what."

Charlie took a deep breath, reminding himself why they were at Goff's in the first place, and forced him self to smile. "Whatever makes you happy, Bells."

She smiled brightly and jumped up in the air. "Thanks, Charlie. I think I'll keep this color theme, but I'm going to go back and get the plain ornaments. And I think I'll grab a few more of these feather garlands too. I want to hang them around the doorways and maybe wind them around the banister." She headed off toward the decorations, still chattering as she did, noting to herself that she needed more lights as well.

Charlie waited until she'd disappeared back into the crowd around the ornaments before rolling his eyes. Of course he was happy to see her so enthralled with decorating for Christmas, considering all that had happened with Edward the last couple of days. But…all these decorations and what she was planning on doing to his house? His house, once his sacred man cave, was surely going to resemble a Yuletide Bordello once she was finished.

He felt his cell phone buzz and carefully manipulated the load of decorations in his arms until he was able to grab the phone from its holster at his waist. He flipped it open, reading a text message carefully before slowly tapping back a reply, cautiously guarding his movements so as not to drop anything he was holding.

Bella was excited about decorating for Christmas, Charlie realized. Perhaps saying she was excited was actually an understatement. She was downright beside herself with glee. She chattered on and on about what she was going to hang and where all through their lunch at Goff's Café on the second floor mezzanine level of the store. In between bites of her Waldorf Salad, she illustrated with big sweeping motions of her arms how she was going to drape the feather garlands just so over the doorways, and how she would wind it up and down the banister leading up the stairs and how the white icicle lights would look once she had them draped over the mantle. She made specific points about where the trio of different sized glittery lime green Styrofoam trees and sparkly fuchsia potted poinsettias would be placed. He couldn't remember the last time she was so happy about something. Well, he could, but he didn't want to think about Edward. Not today. Charlie took another bite of his burger and listened willingly.

Bella was still yammering on as they drove home, tree tied securely in the bed of Bella's old red truck, shopping bags filled with delicate blown glass ornaments filling up all the spaces inside the truck cab that Charlie and Bella weren't filling up.

"I love this tree, Charlie," she gushed. "Thanks so much for letting me get it."

"Well," he ran a finger absently across his moustache. "It's been such a long time since I've had a tree. I figured, why not a huge, expensive one? It'll make up for all the years I didn't have one!"

"It's absolutely perfect!" She was still gushing. He could tell that, had she written that sentence out, there would have been six exclamation points at the end of it.

"It's a pretty good tree."

"Good? Why, Charlie Swan, that tree is absolutely outstanding! In fact, in the history of Christmas trees? I don't think there has ever been a tree as fabulous as this one."

"It's a tree among trees to be sure, Bells," Charlie turned off the highway and headed through the center of town. "We'll drop all this crap off at the house, then go to the diner for dinner, ok?"

"Sounds good to me," she was moving her head from side to side in time with the Johnny Mathis Christmas song playing on the ancient radio.

Charlie turned onto their street, and she felt her heart skip a beat as a shiny silver Volvo sped past them. She felt her stomach flip as all the blood drained from her face. It couldn't be him…could it?

She hastily began to quickly gather up the bags as her father pulled into the driveway.

"Hey, take it easy, Bells. That crap cost me a bundle," he smiled but she didn't see.

"Sorry, Charlie. I just kinda…I…I have to pee, Charlie."

"Well, I'm going to drag the tree up to the porch. You bring the crap into the house and go do your thing. Then we'll head out to dinner. We can put this sucker up tomorrow, fair?"

She nodded. "Fair," and was out of the truck and unlocking the front door faster than she'd ever remembered. She deposited the delicate ornaments onto the living room sofa, and bounded up the stairs, running into her bedroom and flicking on the light expectantly.

The rocking chair was empty.

Her heart sank as she fumbled over to her bed, sitting down numbly. It was his car. She was certain that had been his car. She shook her head. She had been expecting to see him sitting in her old rocking chair, smiling at her. Telling her how he was so wrong and he loved her and she was exactly what he needed. In her excitement, it hadn't even occurred to her that the car had been driving away. Even if it had been him, there would be no way that he would have been in her room like she had expected, since he would be _driving away_.

She forced herself to get up off her bed and go into the bathroom. Edward was everywhere in the house. He was in her bedroom, in her bathroom, in her living room and kitchen too. He was everywhere, because, regardless of the horrible things he'd said to her, he was still in her heart.

She looked at herself in the mirror in the dim light. "May someone kill my heart by driving a stake of holly through it," she grumbled before heading over to the toilet.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Did you enjoy your drive, dear?" Esme looked up from her embroidery as he slammed the door and walked into the living room. "Did it help you to relax a little bit?"

"I had to get cigarettes."

"Darling, you didn't go into the store looking like that, did you?" She looked her son up and down. He was still wearing the same pajamas she had laid out for him the day before. His hair was in even greater disarray than it usually was. Dark purple circles had taken up residence under his brilliant emerald eyes, giving his face a groggy, sickly look. And he still wore his good black dress shoes.

"Alice ran in for them," his tone was somber. "I just drove."

Esme sighed. "Did it make you feel any better to go out and get a change of scenery? Get some fresh air?"

"No," he flopped down on the sofa, avoiding her gaze.

"He drove past Bella's house. That's why he doesn't feel any better," Alice shuffled into the room. "You forgot these, asshat." She tossed the pack of cigarettes at him. He made no move to catch them, instead just letting them hit him in the chest and drop into his lap.

Esme's eyes widened. "Well, did you go in to talk to her?"

"No! Why would I do that," he shot Alice a dirty look.

"They weren't home when we pulled up in front of the house. But, then, Bella's truck turned down the street. That's when Romeo here took off," Alice nodded toward him before she flopped down on one of the overstuffed chairs, legs dangling over the arm.

"Why didn't you go and talk to her, Edward," Esme couldn't hide her disappointment.

"In case you weren't paying attention yesterday, I broke up with her, Mom," he almost growled before standing up. "I'm going out to have a smoke."

"I wish you wouldn't smoke, dear."

"And I wish you and Dad didn't give me a reason to smoke, Mom," he pulled a cigarette from the pack and slipped it between his pouting lips. "So, I guess that means we're about even, right," he mumbled as the dangling cigarette bounced up and down.

"Edward, please—" she was cut off by the sound of the front door slamming again.

"Esme?" Carlisle was home.

"In the living room, darling."

"I have some information—Edward," Carlisle stopped dead in his tracks.

"Carlisle," Edward nodded, pulling the unlit cigarette from between his lips. "What sort of information are you talking about? Or…aren't I allowed to be privy to this information either? Particularly if it pertains to me. That's how it works, right?"

"No, Edward. Of course you should hear this. It concerns you, after all," he tried to hide the hurt of Edward's use of his name yet again.

"Oh, well, lucky me," his voice dripped with sarcasm as he dropped back down onto the sofa with a huff.

"Edward, stop being suck a dickweed! Dad's trying to help you, you ass," Alice scolded him.

"Alice, please," Esme cautioned her. "Go ahead, Carlisle. What did you find out?"

"Well," he ran his hand through his blonde hair. "Victoria and her family no longer live in Seattle."

Edward flopped against the soft cushions of the sofa, closing his eyes. He would never know the truth now.

"They…moved?" Esme sounded surprised.

"People move all the time, dear. Haven't we moved?"

"Well, yes, darling, but Garrett had such a good job in Seattle," she mused. "And their house was so lovely. I just can't imagine Kate wanting to leave."

"People move," Carlisle shrugged. "They can change jobs. That happens all the time, Esme. Or, they can get transferred. They can decide to change careers. There could have been any number of reasons that they left Seattle."

"I'm just surprised, that's all," Esme fiddled with the embroidery in her lap nervously. Edward was so volatile. There was no telling how this news would affect him. "Like I said, Kate put so much into that house."

"Excuse me!" Edward yelled over his parents, as if reading his mother's mind. "Do we know where they moved to?"

Everyone looked at him in stunned silence.

"You know," he went on. "This is _my_ life here! I know you people don't really give a flying fuck about it, but I happen to be just a little concerned about it!"

Esme felt the color rise in her cheeks as she looked down once more at the embroidery sitting in her lap. He was right, of course. This _was_ his life. They shouldn't be so cavalier about it.

Alice remained in her chair, legs dangling over the arm as she rolled her eyes at her brother. Edward certainly did have a flair for the dramatic, and it was taking center stage this weekend.

"Seriously, Edward. Stop being such a pissy little drama queen."

"Fuck off, Alice."

"Hey, fuck you too, you bitch."

"Knock it off!" Carlisle rarely raised his voice, but the stress of the last three days had taken its toll on him and he was finally fed up enough to yell. Truth be told, it felt good to finally get a little bit of his own frustrations out.

He moved further into the room, still running his hand through his hair. He'd done as he had promised and worked hard to find out if Rosalie's claim was true or not. Unfortunately, the long holiday weekend had greatly limited his ability to reach his Seattle contacts. With no other choice, other than waiting for Monday, he was forced to do something he hadn't wanted to do. He'd gone to Charlie Swan and begged him for his help.

"To answer your question, yes, Edward, I do, in fact, know where they've moved to," Carlisle took deep breaths as he tried to remain calm and not give in to the overwhelming urge to shake his son senseless. Yes, he and Esme had made a mistake in their judgment, but then, so had Edward. This situation wouldn't have existed had Edward used better judgment. He wanted to yell at his boy, to scream at him, but he couldn't. Everyone made mistakes. Even Edward. Even Carlisle.

Edward looked at his father with cold, icy green eyes. "Are you going to stand there like an idiot, or are you going to tell me where?"

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"I tell ya, Bells, you never cease to amaze me," Charlie unlocked the front door, opening it wide and reaching inside to turn on the foyer light before letting her enter the house first.

"Why's that," she slipped her hood from her head and took her damp coat off, hanging it on the rack behind the door. As usual, it was raining in Forks-heavily this time. The walk from the driveway to the front porch had been enough for the moisture to start to soak into her coat.

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone eat the entire portion of mac and cheese at the diner before you," his eyes glinted.

"But it was so good," she rubbed her full stomach. "So creamy and cheesy!"

"I know it's good." Charlie laughed, hanging his jacket up next to hers. "But, that portion is huge!"

"Oh, like you've never eaten the whole dish of it yourself," her hands were on her hips.

"Actually, I haven't. Not in one sitting like you did. Whenever I get that, I always have enough left over for another meal."

"Oh, sure you do."

"I do!"

She narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms over her chest. She knew he was smirking at her under his big, dark moustache. She just couldn't prove it. "I don't believe it. Charlie Swan having something left over? _Food_ leftover? Inconceivable!"

"Oh, believe it, Vizzini," he smiled and the ends of his moustache twitched up.

"Well, I'm just going to ask Irina next time we go to the diner," she huffed.

"And she's going to tell you exactly what I just told you," he slipped into the living room, turning on his big flat screen tv and settling down into his chair.

"We'll see, Charlie Swan. We'll see who the big, giant heifer is. You or me."

"Seriously, Bells, I can't be a heifer."

"Oh? Really? And why not? Because you're chief of police?"

"Because a heifer is a female cow and I am decidedly not female," he looked over his shoulder, grinning at her like a Cheshire cat.

She sneered at him and stomped her booted foot. "Oooo…just you wait, Charlie Swan. I'll find out the truth and then you'll be sorry."

"Idle threats do not scare me, Missy!"

"Oh yeah…well…well…I'm going to bed, so there!"

He couldn't control his laughter by this point, and just laughed over his shoulder as he bid her a good night.

She giggled to herself, shaking her head as she stumbled up the stairs to her bedroom. What was it about Charlie? The man had an uncanny knack for being able to totally shift her moods. She was beyond thankful that she moved to Forks, despite the recent turn of events with Edward Cullen. The last few months, living here with Charlie, had been the best she could remember in the last few years.

She was still smiling and giggling when she reached her room. She opened the door and flipped on the light, gasping as she saw the flash of green.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Ooo...a flash of green! Would that be lime green or...emerald green? :-P**

**There's a movie reference in there...I know some of you will pick up on it...because it's pretty obvious! Needed a little levity after all the angst in the previoius couple of chapters. **

**As I've said before, the updates will be coming a little more slowly for a while, as real life is really beating me down and being a pain in the butt! I will try to move as quickly as I can, but exhaustion, both physical and mental, can greatly impede my sense of creativity :(**

**Big hugs to everyone who's stuck with this little story. I do hope you are enjoying it! Please tell your fanfic friends about it if you like it. I'd greatly appreciate it :D**

**And, as always, if you like, let me know! I'd _love_ to hit 100 reviews with this chapter!**

**Big hugs & big thanks to all!**


	22. Chapter 22: Beat On The Brat

**Ok, so...yeah..._finally_ chapter 22 is up. I know...I know...but like I cautioned last time, real life is seriously kicking my butt these days, so I really _do_ have a good excuse! I will warn you that chapter 23 will be late in coming as well, since I'm preparing for an out of town guest, who is arriving in 2 weeks and with whom I will be spending another week. And I think it would make me a totes rude host if I sat at the Mac and wrote instead of vegging out on the sofa watching Twilight, New Moon and other assorted goodies with her (seriously, we are SO not renting Haunted Airman, Katy, so stop asking me to! :P ) Oh, and just in case you hear about two women being arrested at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum...yes...it will be us...and you will obviously know why ;)**

**Anyway, I would like to thank everyone who's stuck with my little story, and I'd like to thank everyone who's submitted a review! We've hit the big 1-0-0! Woot! When I first started this hot little mess, I didn't expect to get 100 hits, let alone reviews of any sort, other than complaints that I was a hack and to get off the internet! But I thank each and every one of you who has read and who has come back for more!**

**Now, the usual business: Twiight, it's characters and it's situations do not belong to me. The are gifts given to us all by the brilliant Stephenie Meyer, without whom we would not have these amazing characters in our lives.**

**Now, on to chapter 22!**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 22: Beat on the Brat**

Her heart thumped wildly in her chest as her breath caught in her throat.

Edward Cullen sat quietly in her rocking chair, green eyes glistening like enchanted gemstones.

What did he want? Why was he here? Her mind spun out of control.

Why was he getting up from the rocking chair and moving toward her?

Instinctively, she backed away as he approached her, feeling the tears as they pricked at her eyes. Funny how she had been so hopeful he would be sitting in that chair earlier in the evening, and now? Now that he was really there? In her bedroom? She found that she was terrified of him, his harsh actions only a day before still fresh in her memory.

"Edward, please," she breathed as she ran out of room, feeling her back hit against the open bedroom door, giving her no more room to move away from him. She knew Charlie was only a scream away, but she could never do that to her Edward.

"Bella," his voice was soft with a tinge of hurt in it. Good. "Please don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you." He stopped moving, instead holding his hands out in front of himself, trying to convey his intent. "I…I just needed to talk to you. To explain. Please."

"I think you've done more than enough explaining," she felt her voice tremble as she pressed herself closer against the door and cursed herself silently for giving him even that much.

"Please," he begged, his green eyes glowing like the lights on the Christmas trees at Goff's Department Store.

She would liked to have said his eyes looked sincere, but that would have meant actually looking at him full on, and that was something she would not allow herself to do. She couldn't afford to. She knew the moment her eyes met his sparkling green pools of desire, all of her resolve would be gone, and she'd be back to being a gob of jello in his very capable hands.

Instead, keeping her head turned away from him, she slid away from the door, closing it quietly so Charlie wouldn't hear, before moving slowly to her bed to sit down. She needed to sit before her legs betrayed her and buckled out from under her.

"I don't understand why you're here," she closed her eyes, trying to keep her voice steady. "I believe you said everything there was to be said yesterday, Edward."

He knelt down in front of her, smartly careful to keep his distance. One touch and his charade would be over. One touch, and the electricity that coursed through his body whenever he made contact with her would take over. He would scoop her up into his arms and keep her with him forever. That would be the end of it all.

"I need to explain, Bella."

She shook her head, still not looking at him. "There's no need, Edward. I got your message loud and clear," she swallowed hard.

"I need you to understand," he sighed, looking down at the floor. "I…I lashed out at you, Bella, but I wasn't angry with you."

"It's ok, Edward," she allowed herself to glance sideways at him, catching a glimpse of his wild bronze hair and forcing herself to fight the urge to run her fingers through it. "I understand. Really I do. I'm not good for you. I get it."

"I was angry with my parents. Not you," he persisted.

"Hey, who isn't, you know?" _Please leave. Please leave now. Please leave before I wrap myself around you and beg you to stay forever, _she begged silently_._

"My parents…," he swallowed hard as his voice caught in his throat. He cleared his throat and tried again. "My parents, they…they knew, Bella. They knew," his voice was so low she thought she'd imagined it. But, by the hurt and subtle desperation she heard in it, she knew she hadn't.

"What?" Shocked, she turned her head to finally look at him. "What do you mean, they knew?"

He shifted his weight and looked down at his trembling hands as they lay on his thighs. "They knew that Victoria was…well…she was…" his voice trailed off. He was unable to talk as his body shook violently.

"Pregnant," she finished the sentence for him and he nodded silently, his head bowed. Even the tips of his hair shook.

Without realizing she was even doing it, she reached out, running her fingers through the jumble of soft copper hair on his lowered head. He let out a long, low sigh. Perhaps it was one of relief. Or maybe it was one of resignation. She couldn't help but wonder how Dr. and Mrs. Cullen could know such a thing and not tell him. She always thought so highly of the doctor. He was warm and compassionate to all. And Mrs. Cullen was so sweet, so loving. Especially of Edward. How could they not tell him something as huge and important as that? What were they afraid of? She felt a sudden flash of anger at Edward's parents and their apparent lack of common sense. They dropped the ball and she was suffering for it now. She was losing her Edward. And she was none too happy about it. She understood Edward's ire now. She understood exactly where he was coming from, and why he felt the way he did. Did it do anything to quell her hurt? No, but at least his seemingly random actions now had meaning. And that, at the very least, was something.

They sat that way for a long time, with Edward kneeling before her, head bowed, trembling as he cried quietly while she ran her fingers gently through his hair in silence. She wanted to gather him up into her arms, hold him tightly to her chest and rock him, whispering softly to him that everything would be ok, but she forced herself to stay right where she was, that the feel of her hand in his hair was comfort enough. She could be harsh and say that he didn't even deserve this much compassion from her, considering how he had treated her. But, the fact still remained. She still loved him and needed to, in some way, comfort him.

Finally, he raised a shaking hand and wiped at his wet face.

"I'm sorry," he murmured as he looked up at her. And there it was. She could clearly see it all on his face, see what she had missed the day before in all the turbulence at the Cullen house. The anguish was there, plain to see. The deep purple half moon indentations under his eyes and the gaunt, pale cheeks all told the story. His lower lip trembled.

"It's ok," she pulled her hand back, running it lightly through her own hair before her bleeding heart forgot it had been broken by this man.

"I just wanted you to know that it wasn't you I was mad at. I'm sorry if I made you think that. I lo…I'm leaving, so you won't have to worry about Bio on Monday, ok?" His voice was soft, shaky. It was easy to see that this was as hard for him as it was for her. Harder perhaps, because Edward was a man cast adrift in a sea of unknown. He desperately needed something steady to steer by, and yet, by his own hand, he'd readily cast aside his own True North in order to ride the rising storm out alone.

"Edward," she shook her head, once more steeling her strength. "You don't have to leave. We'll…well…we'll deal. That's what we do, right? We deal with it?"

He shook his head. "That's not why I'm leaving, Bella," he sat back on his heels, taking a shaky breath. She could see his hands were still trembling.

"Edward, what is it," her voice was soft and full of understanding, even if she didn't understand him at all.

"You want the whole story?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I do. I think you owe it to me, don't you?"

He nodded and sighed as he shifted his gaze in order to avoid looking directly at her. "A couple of months after we left Seattle, Carlisle got a call from Victoria's father. Garrett told him the situation and asked Carlisle to take care of it. Because it was all my fault and everything," he furrowed his brow. "So, Carlisle set up everything and told him he'd take care of it."

"Is that what Rose was talking about?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I only just found this all out yesterday, so I don't know how she could have known it. Carlisle only told my mom."

"Why didn't your parents tell _you_?"

He took a deep breath. "I don't know," his voice was sad. "All Carlisle said was that he and Mom decided not to tell me because Victoria and her family had made the decision to get rid of it, so why upset me over something that I had no control over?"

"So, they believed it was in your best interest for you not to know?"

"That's what Carlisle said."

"So, Carlisle set up everything for her to…to terminate the pregnancy?" She tried to choose her words correctly, so as not to upset him further.

"I'm guessing so."

"But instead, she kept it?"

"I don't know," he cried and he was up in one quick motion, pacing around the room quickly. "I don't know anything! Carlisle wasn't able to reach anyone in Seattle. And with doctor-patient confidentiality, odds are they wouldn't tell him anything even if he did reach someone!"

She watched him as he paced, both of his long, graceful hands raking through his disheveled locks frantically.

"He was finally able to find out that they left Seattle about two months after his conversation with Garrett. I mean, what's that sound like to you," he stopped pacing and looked at her expectantly.

"Uh…it sounds…like…uh…," she sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "It sounds like she decided to keep it, Edward."

"That's it exactly." He sprang forward and leaned his hands on her bed, bending over it so he was almost nose to nose with her. "Why else would they leave?"

"I don't know," she moved back from him. The last thing she wanted was to have temptation so readily in her face like it was.

"What other reason could there be?" He resumed his frenetic pacing. "Carlisle was able to find out that they moved to Chicago," he stopped pacing for a minute and a snort escaped him. "Ironic, when you think that we moved to Seattle _from_ Chicago, isn't it," he continued to move back and forth across the floor at a fast, nervous pace.

She nodded silently in response as she began to worry about his mental stability. She had seen Edward at his best, and at his worst. This was beyond anything she had ever witnessed. She could see how agitated he was, how deeply disturbed this new revelation had made him. She could sympathize with him, truly she could, and she was worried about him. She wanted nothing more than to hold him in her arms, but she couldn't fall back into the trap of fighting for them. Not this time. This time, it was Edward's turn to fight for them.

"Maybe," he started speaking again. "If my father had let me know in the first place, when the call first came, none of this would be happening now." He stood still, crossing his arms over his chest as he lifted a hand, running his fingers along the stubble of his jaw. "And I wouldn't be forced to leave," he spoke so low and quickly that she couldn't tell if he was talking to her or to himself. "I wouldn't be forced to lose my love. Lose the best friend I ever had." He looked at her with gleaming bright eyes as a new tear quietly ran down his pale cheek and she felt her face warm with the whisper of a blush. "I love you, Isabella Swan. Don't ever think that I don't, because I do. I will always love you," he swallowed hard. "You're more than my lover. You're my best friend. You're the only person I can talk to like this."

She looked up at him, not knowing what to say, tears of her own running down her face.

He looked at her, his electric green eyes locking with hers. In that moment, she felt it. She saw it. She knew exactly what he was going through. And the pain shot through her as though she'd been shot.

"Oh, Edward," she sighed, breaking the grip his eyes had on hers. She looked down, not wanting to feel it anymore. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm even sorrier. One mistake and it's cost me everything," he whispered, voice despondant.

She shook her head. "That was your choice. This didn't have to be this way. I could have helped you. I could have…I could have been there for you. We could have gotten through this together."

"I know, I know," he dropped down on the edge of the bed and waved his hands in the air. "I know I broke up with you!" He spun around quickly and faced her again, green eyes wild. "I had no other choice, Bella. What else could I do? Don't you see? I have nothing left to offer you!"

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand as tears quietly fell from them. "I don't understand, Edward. I want to, but I don't."

"All of my hopes. All of my dreams. They are all gone," his voice was desperate. "All of them. There's no future for me. And if you're with me? Then _you_ have no future either. I won't do that to you. I love you too much to do that to you."

"Edward—"

"Charlie's coming," he slid the window open, deftly swinging his legs out of the opening. He paused, sitting on the window sill for a moment before turning around to face her. "I will love you forever. Never forget me, Bella."

And he was gone into the night.

She ran over to the window, pulling herself out into the freezing night.

"Edward," she whispered plaintively into the night.

"Bells?" Charlie was just outside her door now. She quickly pulled herself back inside, sliding the window shut. "You ok in there?"

"Yeah, Charlie," she shuffled quickly over to the door, pulling it open so her father wouldn't suspect.

"He's gone, I'm guessing," Charlie smirked as he looked into the room.

"How the hell do you do that," she threw her hands up in an exasperated gesture as she turned and marched back to her bed, flopping down on it heavily.

"I'm a dad. And a cop," he tried to keep his tone light, but it wasn't working with her. "I'm a parent," he finally sighed as he rubbed his hand over his head. "And I love you. And that means it's my job to know."

"Oh, Charlie," she could feel the tears spilling onto her cheeks again. "He was…he's…he's not himself. It's like his whole world just…just…shifted on its axis."

"Well," Charlie ambled over to the bed, sitting down beside her. "He's been thrown for a loop, Bells. It's quite possible that his entire life is about to change."

"He won't let me be there for him," she voice was sad as she wiped away the tears that had started falling down her cheek. "He said he has nothing left to offer me. He has no future."

"He's scared, sweetie," he put his arm around her shoulders, gently pulling her into him. She went willingly, crying silently into his plaid shirt.

"He's leaving," she sniffled finally.

"I know, Bells," his large hand moved up and down her arm slowly, trying in vain to comfort her.

"You heard us?"

"Yeah…but…I already knew."

"But…how?"

"Who do you think found Victoria's family for Carlisle?"

She pulled away from him, looking up, stunned. "You..."

"A gross misuse of my authority, I know, but…oh, hell, I like the kid. I just wanted to help put his life back together any way I could."

She stared at him in disbelief.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?"

"No," she shook her head. "But I do wish you had told me."

He sighed. "I don't even think Carlisle told Edward, Bells."

"He said he would love me forever," she looked down at her hands, then wiped her wet cheeks again with the back of her hand. "And he asked me to never forget him," she inhaled a deep, shaky breath.

An awkward silence fell between father and daughter.

Finally, Bella breathed in a shaky sigh. "He's never coming back, is he?"

Charlie pulled her back against him. "I don't know, sweetie."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Carlisle dropped the last suitcase into the trunk of the black Mercedes.

"Is that everything?"

"I believe so, dear," Esme clutched her thin wool blazer tightly around her slender frame as the cold wind whipped around her.

"You should go inside before you catch a chill."

"I'll be fine," the wind blew her long hair across her face. He reached out, smoothing it away gently. She closed her eyes, sighing at his touch.

"Where's Edward?"

She nodded toward the house. "Where else?" Carlisle looked up, spotting his son as he stared blankly out of the kitchen window, pale and unmoving.

Carlisle sighed. "You know he snuck out last night, don't you?"

"Of course I know," she scowled at her husband. "I also know he went to Bella's."

"He's broken her heart."

"He's broken his own heart, Carlisle. She would have stuck by him through all of this. I just..." she shook her head. "I just don't understand him sometimes."

"This is something he feels he has to do alone, Esme," he slammed the trunk closed with a thud.

"He doesn't have to," a shiver passed through her.

"I know. He told Alice that he couldn't drag Bella down with him any further than he already had," Carlisle played with the keys in his hand.

"Alice has been crying since yesterday. Even Jasper can't get her to come out of her room," she looked down at the gravel in the driveway, kicking at the stones.

"This is all my fault," his brow furrowed. "Had I been honest with him from the beginning, this wouldn't be happening."

She placed a comforting hand on his arm, but he found no comfort in her touch. "We made that decision together, Carlisle. We couldn't possibly have known, darling."

"I know, but at the very least had he been aware from the beginning, this news wouldn't have shattered him the way it has," he ran a trembling hand through his thinning blonde hair.

"Carlisle, if not for Rosalie, Edward would never have been the wiser," her voice was firm.

"And I still want to know how that…" he paused, breathing deeply to calm his nerves as his hands automatically fisted at his sides at the mention of her name. "How she found out."

"I guess we'll never know," his wife sighed. "It's getting late. Are you ready to leave?"

"Yes, go call him."

"He's so angry with us, Carlisle," her voice was sad.

"He's angry at me, dear."

"Will things be ok with the two of you alone together?"

"This is the only way I know to make up for what I did, Esme," he put his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. "It's my only chance. I hope this trip helps to heal him."

"I hope this trip heals us as a family," she grabbed his leather jacket, pulling him closer so she could bury her face in his chest. His arms wrapped tightly around her back.

"I will do everything in my power to do that, my darling."

"I know you will," she pulled back, looking up into his intense blue eyes. "I have faith in you, Carlisle."

He smiled sadly. "I only wish that Edward and I shared that faith."

"He'll come around," she tried to sound convincing, but knew she hadn't succeeded. How could she convince her husband of something she wasn't even sure of herself?

She clung to him tightly, not wanting to let him go. "I love you, Carlisle."

"I love you too, Esme," he kissed her lips gently and buried his face in her silken hair as they stood lost in each other's arms for a few minutes.

Finally, Carlisle sighed as he glanced toward the house. "Can you go get him?"

She nodded silently, pulling away from him reluctantly. "Be safe," she cautioned before she made her way quietly up the path to the back door, to her Edward.

"Edward," she called quietly as she opened the kitchen door. "Dad is ready to go."

"Thank you, Mom," his voice was low as he looked at her without seeing her.

She handed him his leather jacket. "It's cold in Chicago," she cautioned. "Please wear your scarf and gloves, ok?"

"I will, Mom," he answered automatically, turning to her and taking the jacket from her.

She watched as he shrugged into it, zipping it up more for her benefit than his own. When he was done, he stood in front of her, looking down at the floor.

"Alice wouldn't let me say goodbye to her," he whispered.

"Alice is taking all of this very hard, sweetie," her voice was soft.

"I…I snuck over to Bella's last night," he confessed in a low tone as though he were in church. "To say goodbye."

"I know, baby."

"I'm sorry, Mom."

Esme shook her head. "There's nothing to be sorry for, Edward."

"I haven't been very nice to you or…Dad," he furrowed his brow as he said the last word. "And all of this mess is my fault."

She smiled a sad smile. "We all had a hand in making this mess, Edward. But you know what they say?"

He shook his head, his green eyes betraying the pain he felt. "No?"

She reached up and brushed the wild bronze hair away from his face, sliding her slender hand along his cheek and cupping it gently. "That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger."

He closed his eyes, a lone tear rolling gently down his cheek.

"Dad's waiting," she ran her fingers lightly along his stubbled cheek once more, gently wiping the tear from his face as she did.

He leaned forward, wrapping himself around his mother tightly. "I love you, Mommy."

"I love you too, my sweet, sweet Edward," her voice cracked and she broke the embrace before it became too painful for her to do so. He was her baby, and she would do anything to spare him pain. "You be good," she tried to smile, but the tears tumbled from her eyes.

"I will, Mom," his voice cracked before he grabbed his backpack and swung the door open, heading out. She watched from the same window he'd been staring out of as he made his way down the path and to shiny black car in front of the garage, where her husband now sat in the idling Mercedes.

Edward opened the passenger's door, flinging the backpack over the headrest and onto the back seat. He flopped down into the soft leather seat, fastening the seatbelt before he could be told do so.

He took one last glance at the house as Carlisle navigated the car down the long, gravel driveway and out onto the country lane.

They drove in near silence, classical music playing at a barely discernible volume on the stereo as Carlisle stared straight ahead.

It was Edward who broke the silence.

"What time is our flight?"

"I booked the red-eye, so we have plenty of time to get there."

Edward sighed. Why did this have to be so hard?

Silence overtook the car once again, both lost in thought as Carlisle tried to concentrate on the road and not his son or the obvious rift between them. The road flew by and before they knew it, they were halfway to the airport in Seattle.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Edward," his spirit was immediately lifted by the word.

"I…I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be apologizing for, Edward."

"No, there…there is," he looked down at his hands as his long, elegant fingers twisted together at unnatural angles in his lap. "I blamed you for all of this when the only person to blame is myself. I took my anger and my frustration at my own stupidity out on everyone around me. I'm sorry," he swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. "And I'm sorry for…for calling you Carlisle instead of Dad. It was childish and selfish."

Carlisle smiled and looked over at his son. "Accepted. We all made some big mistakes, Edward. But, what's done is done. We can't sit and dwell on what if's. We just have to get to the bottom of this so we can all move forward. Agreed?"

"Yes, sir."

Their journey to Chicago seemed to take ages, with both anxiety riddled men unable to sleep on the plane, arriving exhausted by the time their flight landed at a pre-dawn O'Hare.

Carlisle stood holding their carry ons while he watched as his son stood groggily next to the baggage carousel swaying slightly as he waited for their suitcases to pass by. Edward had seemingly aged years in only a few short days. The dark purple circles under his brilliant green eyes had deepened, his cheeks were more sunken and pallid than Carlisle could ever recall seeing them. The stress, the strain, the emotional upheaval, the _not knowing_, were slowly destroying the beautiful boy who'd been so vibrantly in love with the bewitching Bella Swan only days before.

He watched as Edward struggled to yank the suitcases off the carousel, grunting and puffing his cheeks out from the exertion, before wheeling them over to him slowly, slumped over, feet dragging as he moved like a man a century older than he really was.

"You feeling ok, son?"

"I'm fine, Dad."

Carlisle took the handle of his suitcase from him but didn't offer him his backpack back. He feared the extra weight on his shoulders would cause his son to collapse. He already carried the weight of the world on them. "You need to sleep, Edward."

"I can't sleep, Dad."

"You can and you will sleep, Edward. You have to. This isn't healthy," Carlisle rolled his suitcase behind him as he navigated expertly through the familiar terminal, walking toward the airport doors as he continued to talk to his son. "I'm telling you this as both your father and your doctor," he paused, shifting both his carryon and Edward's backpack to a more comfortable position on his shoulder before continuing. "You aren't doing yourself any favors by not sleeping and not eating. You aren't going to change what is happening, so you might as well have physical strength and be mentally alert, son."

Edward followed close behind, dragging his own suitcase. His head was bowed as he nodded in agreement with his father's statements. "Yes, sir," he mumbled as they reached the exit.

The windy, arctic weather hit them as soon as the doors automatically swung open, sending a violent chill through Edward's entire exhausted body. It was still dark outside and the harsh glare of the arc sodium lights hurt their eyes as they walked out of the terminal.

Carlisle paused for a moment, pulling the collar of his coat tightly around his neck. "I'd forgotten how damn cold it was here," he murmured before he continued on, squinting into the harshly lit sidewalk.

"Wait…shouldn't we go rent a car instead of taking a taxi," Edward half turned to walk back into the terminal. "Wouldn't that be…uh...," he closed his eyes, struggling for the word he was looking for, then finished slurring out the rest of his sentence. "Easier?"

"It's taken care of, Edward," Carlisle turned to his right, motioning for Edward to follow him. They walked down the bustling walk way toward where a limo driver stood holding a sign that read "CULLEN" in bold, black letters. Edward hadn't noticed him before, probably because of the glut of people maneuvering along the walk, even at this ungodly hour. But, then again, Edward didn't notice much of anything these days. Of course his father would hire a limo to take them to the hotel. Why drive when you can ride?

The driver took their suitcases from them and, along with Edward's backpack and Carlisle's carry on, placed them in the trunk while the two men sheltered themselves against the frigid temperatures inside the limo. Edward realized his gloves and scarf were in his backpack. He would have to remember to get them out when the arrived at the hotel, reminding himself what he had promised his mother before leaving Forks. He'd disappointed enough people the last few days. He didn't want to have to tell his mother he was sick because he neglected to follow her advice and wear his gloves. He rubbed his cold, red hands together, trying to warm them up.

The driver got into the car and pulled out into airport traffic, but not before turning up the heat in the car, much to Edward and Carlisle's relief. Before they were even out of O'Hare and into good old Chicago traffic, the inside of the limo was toasty warm. Edward sighed as he leaned his head back and stretched his legs out, grateful that his fingertips had defrosted.

"Edward," Carlisle's soft voice roused him from his sleep. "Wake up, son."

His eyelids, still heavy with sleep, lifted slightly. "Whaa?"

"We're here. Let's get you inside so you can get some rest, ok?"

Edward turned his head toward the sound of his father's voice, his eyes closing slowly. His exhaustion had finally overtaken him, and he couldn't wake up.

"Edward," Carlisle wrapped his hand around his son's wrist, shaking him slightly before tugging on him gently. "Come on," he urged gently. "You can lie down and go to sleep as soon as we're inside. You will be warm and much more comfortable inside."

He opened his eyes slowly, looking at his father dreamily. For a fleeting moment, Carlisle was overcome with emotion. Edward had looked at him just like he did when he woke up that very first morning with Esme and himself. His sleepy green eyes sparkled like brilliant gemstones from under his half closed lids, his lips curled into a faint half smile while his face was framed by his wild bronze hair. He blinked twice, composing himself before speaking again.

"Come, son. Let's get you to bed."

Carlisle held on to Edward's arm as the tired boy slowly got out of the limo, stepping with uncertainty onto the icy driveway, the cold gusts of wind whipping his already wild hair into a living frenzy around his head. He allowed his father continue to hold on to him as he led him up a well lit path and into the building. The driver brought their luggage into the building behind them, following as Carlisle led the groggy Edward up a wide staircase.

Within minutes of their arrival, Carlisle had successfully managed to get his son undressed and tucked snuggly into a warm, comfortable bed. Edward was sound asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. Carlisle sat on the edge of the bed, watching as his son inhaled deeply as he fell into a tranquil slumber. It was the most at peace he had seen his son since Thanksgiving. He sighed and ran his hand lightly over the beautiful boy's pale forehead, smoothing the hair that fell over it away, before getting up to leave the room. He glanced once more at the quietly sleeping Edward from the doorway before heading downstairs to call his wife. She would be waiting up for his call, he knew. As he pulled the door closed behind him, he heard Edward sigh contentedly as he whispered "_Bella"_ into the darkness.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**So there you have it...Edward and Carlisle have gone to Chicago. Is Edward ever coming back? Poor Bella's been left behind, perhaps a bit more understanding of Edward's reasons, but no less hurt than she was before. How will she react? She's pretty strong...it should be interesting to see what all goes down when school starts back on Monday, shouldn't it?**

**Like I said above, I'll be pretty busy the next 3 weeks, so the next installment may not be up until after (but I will try my hardest to get it up before!) **

**A big THANK YOU to all of you who are still reading! Please click on the little 'review' button and let me know what you think. And if you _REALLY_ like it, well, tell your friends! **

**Thank you all so much for reading :)**


	23. Chapter 23: Somebody Put Something In My

**Happy 4th of July!**

**Sorry that this is so late in coming, but as I've said, real life is getting in the way of my fun! **

**In addition to this chapter being late, the next installment will, in all likelihood, not be for a couple of weeks. I'm on vacation from now until the 12th, and then it's back to work...which will be accumulating on my desk for a week. Once I get real life sorted out, I should be able to concentrate on the next update.**

**This chapter is something of a departure for me. I generally switch focus back and forth between scenes in every chapter. This chapter, however, focuses on only one scene. I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer time: Twilight, it's characters, situations and bazillion dollars, belong to the goddess Meyer. Goddess got to go to the Eclipse premiere and saw Rob Burgundy upclose and personal. Lowly me watched the live stream stuttering and starting on her Mac while hoping there was something wrong with the color on her screen. Lowly me had no such luck. It really WAS a burgundy suit. Sadly, Gucci claimed it *sigh***

**Thanks to everyone who's stuck with my story! I know I say this every time, but I really do appreciate you reading and reviewing! Please enjoy this chapter, and if you do, tell your friends! Then click the little review button and let me know too!**

**Enjoy...**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 23: Somebody Put Something In My Drink**

Edward awoke to dim light in a bed that was strangely memorable in its comfort, in a room that was oddly familiar and warm to him.

Like home.

Only, this wasn't home.

He tossed the thick, fluffy down comforter back and swung his legs out of the bed, sitting himself up. The room was warm, so much warmer than he had been the night before. He rubbed his hands through his hair, then over his face, trying to wake up. He had no idea how long he had slept, or even how he had gotten here, wherever here was. He was undressed, clad only in his tshirt and boxer briefs. And his socks. Carlisle. Only his father would leave his socks on, knowing Edward's disdain for the slippers that Carlisle so loved to shuffle around the house in. He felt along the bedside table until he found a lamp. Sliding his hand over it, he found the switch and flipped it on.

His eyes widened.

He was in his old bedroom…in his grandfather's house.

What the…

Was he still asleep?

Was he…gulp…dead?

He stood up, scratching the back of his head as he looked around the room. Nope, he definitely wasn't dead. Then what the hell?

The room was exactly as he remembered seeing it last. Chicago Cubs wallpaper above the pristine white wainscoting that lined the bottom half of the walls. The same white wainscoting he remembered stupidly writing box scores on in red crayon once. He thought his grandfather would be angry, just like old Jenks had made him think, but the gentle old man had just laughed, calling in the painters the next day to cover over the mess.

Yep. Everything was still here. Exactly how it was the last time he'd been in this room. The autographed baseballs and bats still lined the shelves, the pennants still hung on the walls, baseball caps hung from small evenly spaced pegs above the mantle of the small fireplace directly across from the bed. He could see the remnants of what had been a recent warming fire in it, possibly from the night before? Even the Cubs sheets and comforter were still as they had been on the bed. He had spent many warm and cozy nights in this very bed, snuggled under the warmth of his beloved Cubbies.

He picked up the old fashioned alarm clock that sat on the nightstand. It was a genuine antique, he had always felt, having belonged to his grandfather when he was a small boy. Someone had made sure to wind it up and set the correct time. At least he thought it was the correct time. The clock read 12:37. He hoped that was am.

He looked around the room for his suitcase, and, not seeing it, instinctively walked over to the oversized white door with the funky glass knob. He fingered it gently before turning it. Back, when he used to live here, he had liked to pretend that the old knob was a huge diamond and that he was Indiana Jones, trying to get the diamond away from the evil war lord before said evil war lord could stick his hand into Edward's small chest and steal his heart. He'd had quite the imagination back then, and, after a few nights of waking up and screaming for his missing heart, his Indiana Jones videos had mysteriously disappeared.

He sighed and opened the door to the virtually empty walk in closet, feeling around for the light switch. He flipped it on, brightness filling the space. There, in the corner, sat what Edward knew was his now empty suitcase, with his backpack right along side of it. His leather jacket hung neatly on a hangar with his scarf conveniently tucked under the collar. He knew for certain that his gloves would be stuffed into the pockets if he checked. He looked around at the racks and shelves, once filled with his child sized clothing, stuffed animals and toys. The only other thing hanging in the closet now, besides his jacket, was a small garment bag. Edward slid his feet along the hard wood flooring, as he used to do when he lived there, and fingered the bag lovingly. He knew what was in it. He knew the one thing he was missing when they left Chicago. He had never mentioned it, opting instead to pretend he had forgotten most everything about his life in the Windy City, his life with his grandfather.

Gently, almost reverently, he unzipped the bag. He swallowed hard as he reached in, feeling the fabric, and all of the emotions that came flooding back with it. In that instant, it was Edward's seventh birthday again, and he and his grandfather were at Wrigley field, watching their beloved Cubbies win. Unbeknownst to him, his grandfather had been gravely ill. He knew that now, but back then, he had not a clue. It had been a joyous day for both of them. Box seats right behind home plate. A Cubs win. Then his grandfather was wrapping the actual shirt Sammy Sosa had worn in that days' game around him. Sammy freakin' Sosa. The happiest day of his young life, that had been, and Edward found himself lost in that memory.

How many minutes passed before he pulled himself from his reverie, he could not say, but, eventually, he yanked himself back from his happiest of times. Back to the present, where his life was so much more complicated than he had ever imagined it could be on that joyful day a decade ago. He sighed, zipping the garment bag back up before flipping the light in the closet off and closing the door. No more of that for now. No more memories. He'd made a mess and his mission in Chicago was clear. He had to clean his mess up, and do whatever was necessary to make things right. It was what Carlisle would expect of him. It was what he expected of himself, because he knew, it would be what his grandfather would have expected of him.

He went to his dresser. His fingers twitched as he reached toward the drawer pull.

He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he was being foolish. This was the drawer his

little boy briefs and tshirts used to be kept in. He pulled the drawer open. There, neatly folded and stacked, were the boxerbriefs and tshirts he had packed in his suitcase.

He pulled open the second drawer to find his jeans, which looked to have been pressed and folded neatly. The third drawer revealed his shirts, which he knew instantly had been pressed and folded.

He shook his head. He must have been even more exhausted than he had thought, unless Carlisle had slipped him a mickey~a sedative mickey~on the plane. He laughed at his own absurdity and went to sit back down on the bed. He had to be dreaming, didn't he?

But as he turned to walk back to the bed, something caught his eye. In the corner, where the low book shelves still lined with children's literature were, was an overstuffed chair, upholstered in Cubbie's blue. It was where his grandfather would often sit him on his lap, reading the silly stories that lived on the shelves to him. He had loved when his grandfather read to him, whether it was up in his room, or downstairs, in the giant leather chair in front of the grand fireplace, where his grandfather would read to him from the Chicago Tribune or the Wall Street Journal.

It was not the chair or the books that had attracted his attention. Rather, it was the soft Cub's blue fleece robe that had been gently laid across the chair.

He had to hand it to Carlisle. He thought of everything.

Edward threw the robe on, and shuffled over to the small, private bath that was attached to his room. He flicked on the light and smiled. Nothing had changed. The Cubs theme carried into this room as well, with the same wallpaper as in the bedroom complimenting the sparkling blue and white tiles on the walls. Even the shower curtain matched. Edward smiled to himself as he went about his business, recalling how everything in here had seemed so huge at one time in his life. Now, he felt so much bigger than the room itself. He flushed and washed his hands. On a whim, he crouched down and opened the door to the vanity, peering in. Sure enough, the small Cub's step stool he used to stand on to brush his teeth was still under the sink. He sighed, allowing a soft smile and the warm feeling to fill him. This _was_ home. Perhaps, it had only been home in another life, but it was _his_ other life.

He tied his robe tightly around himself and opened the bedroom door, stepping out into the hallway. As always, it was well lit and he took in every small detail as he passed.

Memories were soon flooding his head as he ambled slowly down the hallway to the main staircase. Nothing on the second story landing had changed. The artwork displayed on the heavy wood paneled walls was all the same. The oriental carpets that lined the hallway were still the same one's his grandmother had chosen when she had decorated the massive house. He passed by the open door to his grandfather's office, opting not to look in. At least, not yet. The memories were already beginning to overwhelm him. He had forgotten how happy he had been in this house.

Down the hall, beyond the grand staircase, was his grandfather's suite. He stopped at the top of the stairs, staring down at the closed door. He knew that, behind that door, everything was as his grandfather had left it when he died. The house, he realized, had been impeccably preserved as it had been. It was as though he'd only been on a short vacation and returned. There wasn't even a speck of dust that he'd noticed to prove that it had been uninhabited for over five years.

He moved down the staircase slowly, remembering how he would bound up and down it while Jenks would yell for "Master Edward" to stop running on the stairs. He smiled. Good old Jenks. His grandfather had always referred to him as the Majordomo, whatever that meant. The man had absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever. And it had been pretty obvious he had little patience for children. Edward smiled to himself, making a mental note to Google 'majordomo' to make sure it didn't really mean 'one with no sense of humor whatsoever'.

He walked the familiar path to the kitchen, where he half expected to find his grandfather, sitting in the bright breakfast nook, sucking on his pipe while reading the Wall Street Journal, cup of black coffee steaming in front of him.

Instead, he found Carlisle sitting in the sunny nook, laptop open, empty cup of coffee to the side.

Carlisle looked up. "Edward, I didn't hear you come in," he smiled. "I trust you had a good sleep."

"I did," Edward nodded as he took his seat at the table~the same seat he had taken every morning he'd shared breakfast with his grandfather.

"You look much better," Carlisle studied his son's face.

"Thanks," Edward nodded, but he didn't smile. "I feel a little better. You didn't…," his voice trailed off. "You didn't…you know…"

"I didn't…what?"

"You didn't…give me something to sleep, did you?" He said it in a most embarrassed manner.

Carlisle stared at him. "I can assure you, Edward, that Mother Nature herself was the only one responsible for your comatose slumber."

Edward nodded at his father. He folded his hands together on the table in front of him, and took a deep breath. "Dad-"

He was immediately cut off by another voice.

"Good morning, Master Edward. What will we be eating today?"

The hair on the back of Edward's neck stood up on end as a chill ran the length of his spine.

He looked up, shock, fear and disbelief all registering on his face.

"Jenks," his mouth went suddenly dry.

"It's good to have you back with us again, sir."

"I…uh…it's…ah…yeah," his mouth hung open as he stared at the tall, slender man with thinning gray hair as he stood in front of him. He wore a well tailored black suit, white shirt and a gray and black striped tie. He could have been any businessman on his way out of the house to a busy day at the office, but Edward knew better. This was Jenks, the Majordomo. His grandfather's butler. And he hadn't aged a day since the last time Edward had laid eyes on him at his grandfather's funeral.

"Edward, don't be rude to Jenks," Carlisle tapped on the keys of his laptop.

"I...I…I'm…," he stammered, then leaned over and whispered to his father in a quick, low voice. "How is he still here? I mean, he was a hundred when _I_ lived here!"

"Edward, Mr. Jenks has been in your grandfather's employ for decades. Let's try not to insult him into quitting our first day back, shall we?" Carlisle leveled a glance at his son over the top of the eyeglasses that sat perched on the tip of his nose.

Jenks stood in front of the table, hands clasped behind his back, waiting.

"Uh…it's…uh…good to be back?"

Jenks nodded. "Very good, sir. And I see that you found the bathrobe I left out for you," he nodded, satisfied.

"Uh…." So it had been Jenks, and not Carlisle, who provided the robe. That explained the color. "Thank you?"

"You are quite welcome. As for breakfast…the…usual, sir?"

The usual? Edward wracked his brain, trying to remember what the hell his usual breakfast at his grandfather's had been. Eggs? Fruit Loops? Chocolate cake?

"Just…uh…coffee for now?"

"Very good, sir," Jenks nodded his head quickly at Edward and moved into the cooking area of the kitchen with amazing grace, Edward still gaping at him. He returned a moment later, carrying a large mug with steam billowing from it.

"For Master Edward," Jenks smiled as he placed the mug in front of Edward. "Cream and sugar are right here," he motioned to the creamer and sugar bowl that sat in front of Carlisle. "Please let me know when you have decided what you would like to eat, sir."

"I…uh…sure. Um…thanks…uh…Jenks?" He said it more as a question than a statement. Truth was, Jenks magical appearance had left Edward at a complete loss. How was it, after all these years? And he still looked _exactly_ the same!

Jenks nodded stiffly to Edward, and disappeared behind the door to the butler's pantry. When he lived here, Edward used to think that Jenks actually lived in that little pantry, that he stood in there at the ready, for whenever his grandfather needed him.

"Dad?"

"He never left your employ, Edward. Why do you think the house is in the amazing condition it's in?" Carlisle continued to type on his laptop, trying to avoid looking at his son.

"_My employ_?"

Carlisle sighed, pulling his glasses off slowly. He rubbed his eyes carefully before putting the glasses back on and looked at his son.

"Your mother and I didn't want to tell you any of this until…until we absolutely had to, Edward. But I guess we absolutely have to tell you now."

"Another secret," Edward felt the ire slice through him like a knife.

"Yes, but with good reason."

"So you keep telling me," sarcasm dripped from his words.

"Edward," Carlisle sighed. "Your grandfather was an extremely wealthy man."

"I know that. That's why he always gave us such extravagant gifts," he snapped at his father.

"Yes, he did give some pretty wild gifts," Carlisle smiled warmly. "Remember that designer handbag he gave Alice?"

Edward felt his anger slip at the mention of Alice's designer handbag and smiled despite himself. "Remember the way Alice screamed when she unwrapped it?" The two men shared a chuckle.

"I thought my ear drum was busted," Carlisle laughed. "She screamed right in my ear. One of those crazy, high pitched screams only pre-teen girls can make."

"But they usually only make those sounds at boy band concerts," Edward snorted. "I should know. I had to sit next to her at that stupid N'Sync concert. You know, the one Grandfather gave us the tickets for? Right in the front row?"

"Your mother was so puzzled when he called asking what her favorite group was," Carlisle smiled as he thought back. "She called me at work to tell me Old Ed was up to no good again," he laughed. "But you got rewarded for going to that show with her, you know."

A sad smile crept over Edwards face. "My piano."

"Yes."

"Is it…where is it? Is it here?" His eyes flickered toward the kitchen door.

"Yes, it's here," Carlisle put his hand on his son's arm. "In the library. For what it's worth, I'm sorry we lied to you about the piano too. But, I'm sure you can understand why."

"Rosalie," he breathed.

"Yes. Your mother caught her leaning inside of it shortly after it arrived. She was touching something. So, before she could do something to destroy it, we had it moved here, and just told you it was too big for our house."

"I guess I should thank you for saving it, then," Edward smiled sadly. "It was always my favorite thing."

"I know how much you loved that piano, Edward. And I know that the one you have now is a poor substitute, but, at least you still have the Steinway."

Edward nodded. "I do. Thank you."

"We can discuss having it shipped to Forks later, if you like."

Edward smiled at his father. "I'd like that, Dad."

Carlisle nodded before taking a deep breath and continuing. "Anyway, back to the issue at hand. At the time of his death, you were your grandfather's sole heir, Edward."

"So…I inherited the house? I thought…," he ran his hand through his hair roughly. "I thought you had said that this house was sold?"

"Yes, we said that, but, no it was never sold, son," Carlisle shook his head. "Your mother and I decided that it was best to let all of you think that it had been, in part, again, because of Rosalie."

"Why?"

"Rosalie seemed to want to destroy everything you had," he sighed. "We didn't want her knowing that you had all of this," he waved his arm around the room.

"Well, in retrospect, I think I'd rather she destroyed a house than my fucking life," Edward closed his eyes, shaking his head. "But I guess I wouldn't have the Steinway either if she did something to the house, would I?"

"No, you wouldn't," Carlisle put a comforting hand back on his son's arm. "We kept all of this from you so that there could be no possible way she would find out and try to figure out some way to destroy it or have it taken from you. And she didn't find out. But now it's time for everything to come out into the open. No more secrets. No more lies. Edward, you should know that the house and the trust are yours when you turn twenty one."

"The trust," he looked up, surprised. "What trust?"

"The trust," Carlisle confirmed, nodding. "Your trust. Edward, when you turn twenty one, you are going to be a very wealthy young man."

Edward looked at his father, bewildered. "I…I don't understand."

"Well, as we've already established, your grandfather was extremely wealthy," he pushed his chair back, stretching his arms. Edward hadn't noticed until now that his Carlisle was already dressed for the day. "People with the kind of wealth your grandfather had often establish trust funds for their heirs. You were no exception, particularly when you consider how young you were when your grandfather passed."

"I…I always knew he had money. I mean, he had a big house and Jenks. And the gifts," Edward shook his head. "None of the other kids had what I had."

"He had money, and lots of it. And he left it all to you."

Edward stared at his father in disbelief. "He…he left it to…to me," his throat was suddenly so dry he felt as though he were choking. He took a quick sip of coffee, swallowing hard.

"Every penny, well, aside from a small trust he set up for Alice as well," Carlisle spoke as if it were the most natural thing in the world to be discussing massive amounts of money. "He was quite fond of Alice."

"A small trust for Alice," Edward repeated softly, not believing the words he uttered.

"Well, small by your grandfather's standards," Carlisle chuckled. "Alice will be quite comfortable, to say the least. He saw to that when he set her trust up."

Edward stared at his father as though seeing him for the first time.

"Is that why you and mom always…treat me differently?" His voice was soft as he spoke.

"Treat you differently?" Carlisle looked at him as he pulled his glasses from their perch on the tip of his nose. He laid them on the table gently and looked at Edward. "Edward, your mother and I treat you the way we do because you are our son. Whether you realize it or not, we love you and want only the best for you."

"But…you…you give me things. Things the others don't get. The car. The piano."

"We gave you those things to make you happy. Because we love you and want you to be happy."

"Did you use the money Grandfather left to buy them?"

"Did we...NO!" Carlisle was incredulous. "How could you even think something like that? That's _your_ money! We would never touch a penny of it."

"I'm sorry. I don't know," Edward threw his hands up. "You said there was a lot of money. I just guessed that's what we used to live on!"

"Edward, since the day your grandfather passed away, that money has sat in trust for _you_, working for _you_. Earning interest on top of interest for _you_. And _only_ for _you_. Your grandfather was a very shrewd investor. I will always be grateful to him for teaching me his strategies and techniques. We've been quite comfortable all these years because of what I learned from him."

"I'm sorry, Dad. I…it's just…this is a lot to process," he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes, still amazed by what his father had just told him. He was rich. He wouldn't be working at the Thriftway for the rest of his life like he always thought he would be.

"I know it is, son. And, Rosalie aside, that's part of the reason we never wanted to tell you. That and the fact that your mother was always so worried that if you knew you stood to inherit a small fortune, you wouldn't want to go to college. It would break her heart if you didn't go to college Edward, so I need your word that you will do so," Carlisle was earnest.

"Of course I'll go to college," Edward sipped his coffee. "I promise. I promise I'll do it for Mom."

"Thank you," Carlisle breathed a little easier.

"So, is that why you brought me here last night, instead of going to a hotel?"

"Yes. We felt it was time you knew everything. Like I said, no more secrets," Carlisle got up and walked over to the counter where the carafe of coffee sat on a hot plate.

Edward's eyes followed his father, and then glanced around the room. Even the kitchen was exactly as he remembered it. His mother had always referred to the style in this room as Country French. Beautiful honey toned wood cabinets lined the walls, with stone countertops speckled in beige and black. A large island sat in the middle of the room, with a cooktop on one side of it and butcherblock top on the other. He had always thought that the heavy, black grill in the middle of the cooktop was an indoor barbecue and would bother Jenks by asking where the charcoals went. A giant statue of a rooster painted in muted tones of red, gold and black stood watch over the room as it sat in the center of the butcherblock side. Over head, in between the exposed wood beams that matched the cabinets and ran the length of the room, hung a large black wrought iron pot rack with pristine copper pots dangling from it. Beautiful lush fabrics in the same reds and golds as the huge rooster upholstered the cushioned chairs and hung from the many windows in the sunny kitchen. The floor, which had always fascinated Edward, was brick. Actual bricks. Like you would find paving a driveway or a walk or the side of a building…outside. Real bricks _inside_ the house. It was still fascinating to him.

Carlisle poured more coffee into Edward's mug.

"Thanks, Dad."

"Anytime."

"So, has Jenks lived here all this time?"

Carlisle nodded. "Yes. He's been employed by the trust as the caretaker. He's kept the house running." He walked back over to the counter, placing the hot coffee pot back on its hotplate.

Edward shook his head. It was all too much. He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. One day, he was losing everything. The next, he was gaining everything. Would his world never stop spinning out of control?

"Just so you know, Jenks hates me," he smirked as he lifted his coffee mug to his lips.

"He doesn't hate you Edward. He's actually thrilled to have you back here," Carlisle sat back down at the table and was once again typing on his laptop. "Why must you always think the worst?"

"Because nothing but the worst ever happens to me, Dad. This has been," he paused, swallowing hard. "This has been the worst few days of my life. I found out I might have a kid, I lost my girlfriend and even Alice won't talk to me! Now I find out I stand to inherit…I don't know? Millions? What good's going to come of that? It won't change a damn thing!"

"Edward, calm down," Carlisle's voice was soft and understanding. "I know that you are going through a great deal right now. I know that these new revelations are difficult for you to get your head around."

"Damn straight."

"But, the reason we are even here is to begin straightening things out. To get to the bottom of everything. And to start fresh."

Jenks reappeared as if by magic, and stood in front of the table the two men sat at in the cheerful breakfast nook.

"Master Edward, have we decided what we would like for breakfast?"

Edward looked over at his father. What should he say?

"How about eggs and toast, Edward?" Carlisle didn't look up from his laptop as he spoke.

"Are you going to have some too," Edward asked nervously. It felt weird having someone serving him after all these years.

"I ate breakfast three hours ago."

"You…ate…already."

"Yes, Edward."

He leaned closer to his father and whispered. "What did you ask for?"

Carlisle looked at him over his glasses once more. "I had what I have every morning. Toast with orange marmalade."

"I'll have that."

Before Jenks had a chance to respond, Carlisle spoke up. "You don't like orange marmalade, Edward."

"I…" he sighed. "I'll have scrambled eggs and toast," he shrugged his shoulders.

"With orange juice?" The butler cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Am…I…supposed to have that," Edward asked, a little taken aback.

"Vitamin C is very important in helping one fight off colds and the flu, sir. This is particularly important when one is in Chicago in winter, Master Edward."

"Uh…then, well, uh," Edward stammered, oddly uneasy with Jenks seeming worry about his health. "I guess I can't argue with that," he sighed. "Um, so yeah, ok. Orange juice too."

"Very good, sir," Jenks nodded and headed over to the counter and began to prepare Edward's breakfast as Carlisle snickered.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just funny, that's all."

"Why's it funny?"

"Because your mother does that to you all the time," Carlisle smiled.

Edward smacked his forehead. No wonder he felt weird.

Edward had forgotten just how good Jenk's cooking was. The eggs were delicious. And they came with crisp bacon. He took the last bite of his toast and wiped his mouth with his napkin.

"Would you like some more eggs, Master Edward?"

"No thank you, Jenks. This was really good though, thank you for cooking it for me."

"You are quite welcome, sir." The old butler cleared the plates from in front of Edward. "May I get you more coffee?"

"I'm good, Jenks, thanks."

"Very good, Master Edward." And he was off, cleaning up after Edward.

He felt awkward, and perhaps a little guilty, sitting there while the silver haired man moved about the kitchen, putting his breakfast dishes in the dish washer and scrubbing the cast iron skillet he'd made the eggs and bacon in. Somehow, he hadn't felt this way back when he had lived here, but he'd been a child then, with little to no responsibilities. Someone had always done those things for him. Even his biological mother, who spent a good deal of her time strung out on drugs. She'd always made sure that he was clean and fed. No, the responsibilities hadn't come until they left Chicago. Then, things with Rose and the others made it necessary for Edward to look after himself, and his mother.

His mother.

He sighed.

"Dad, my phone died on the plane last night. Can I borrow yours to call Mom?"

"Edward, you can use any phone in this house to call Mom."

"But, it's a long distance call. I don't know how much it will cost. It would be free if I used the cell."

Carlisle looked at him. "Edward, how do I get this across to you? Stop worrying about money."

"I'm sorry. I mean, I never really worry about money, you know. But, I mean, this isn't like, _our_ money. We shouldn't be wasting it on something we can do for free you know what I mean?"

Carlisle watched his son stammer, an amused smile on his lips.

"What?"

"Go call Mom and then go take a shower," he closed the laptop and pushed it away, laying his glasses on top of it. "I have some calls to make."

"On the house phone?"

"No, Edward. In person," he stood up and Edward stood with him.

"You're going to Victoria's," he looked his father in the eye, his tone serious. "I'm coming with you."

"Edward, it would be best if I handled this alone," Carlisle tried to be understanding.

"No, I'm coming with you," he demanded.

"Edward," Carlisle sighed. "Don't be difficult. You will stay here while I call on Garrett and Kate."

"But this concerns me," Edward insisted. Wasn't this the very reason they were here now?

"I am well aware of that, Edward. And you are my primary concern. That's why it's essential that I make this first call alone."

"But why?"

Carlisle sat back down in his chair, motioning for his son to do the same. "OK, tell me how you would approach them?"

Edward stared at him. "What do you mean?"

"You knock on their door. Victoria's father answers. What do you say?"

"I demand to see my child," he said firmly.

Carlisle shook his head.

"Why is that wrong? If we have a child, it's my right to see it."

"Edward, I understand that this is very difficult for you. Believe me, I do. But you showing up on their doorstep demanding access to a child that may or may not exist, isn't going to do much of anything except to put those people on the defensive."

"And you showing up won't," Edward wasn't buying into Carlisle's plan.

"Not as much as you."

"Why not," he demanded to know.

"Because _I_ knew, Edward. Garrett phoned _me_."

Edward stared at his father for a long moment. Deep down inside, he knew that he was right. Edward showing up at their door unexpectedly, making demands when the last time he saw them, he was being dragged across the floor naked, would most certainly put their guard up and perhaps not yield the answers he so desperately wanted.

He let out a sigh of resignation and with his head bowed, nodded.

Carlisle put a comforting hand on his son's shoulder. "I will call you the second I can, Edward," he said in a soft voice.

"I know you will."

"Go call your mother," Carlisle got up and walked toward the hallway.

"Dad?"

He turned, facing his pale, scared son. He looked so young. So vulnerable. So…terrified. "Yes, Edward?"

"Thanks," he looked at his father with haunted green eyes.

Carlisle nodded. He could not have loved Edward more if he had been his biological son. There was nothing he would not do for him. He'd admittedly made a mistake when he'd believed Rosalie about the things she said he'd done, and he had paid for that by missing his son from his life for two very long and lonely years. He would never make that same mistake again. He didn't care if he had to traipse to the ends of the earth and back again for him. He would do whatever it took to make his son's life right.

Edward sighed as he watched his father leave. He waited a few minutes, waited until he was sure his father was out of the house and gone on his way to find out his fate. He slowly wandered over to where the kitchen telephone sat mounted on a wall in between several beautiful framed prints, nervously touching things as he passed them, each item bringing with it a small memory of his former life. Nothing had changed. Nothing except for him. He was taller, more solid. He shaved now. He drove. He was almost a man and was perhaps headed towards the greatest challenge he had ever faced. He would never again be the wide eyed and care free boy who had wandered these rooms all those years ago. His long, slender fingers trailed along the slick granite counter tops and yanked at the drawer pulls as he walked past them. He flicked at big tassels that hung from the curtain ties just like he did as a child. He could feel the uneven edges of the hard bricks under his feet. It was uncomfortable and familiar, and he relished it.

He grabbed a small red glass rooster from the counter as he passed, flipping it from one hand to the other as he picked up the phone, absently dialing automatically from memory. He knew that talking to his mother, with her gentle voice and loving words, would calm him down and loosen up the knot that was in his stomach. He played with a tiny statue as he leaned against the wall listening as the phone rang, waiting for his mother to answer. Waiting to hear her soothing words of encouragement and love.

"Hello?"

He felt the icy cold sweat break out over his forehead instantly and he swallowed hard, his body shaking violently.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

His voice was frozen in his throat. He was still capable of opening his mouth, but no sound came out.

"Jacob, if this is you trying to be funny again, well, you're not."

He tried to speak, but the only sound to come from his trembling body was a garbled noise.

He heard her breath catch.

"Edward," she whispered.

The red glass rooster slipped from his icy cold fingers, smashing to a million bits on the hard brick floor.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Oops...Jenk's won't be too happy about that!**

**So, what did you think? Poor Edward or Poor RICHward?**

**Thanks again for reading! Please let me know what you thought! Click that little review button and tell me! And if you liked what you read, please share it with your fanfic friends :D**

**Again, my next update won't be for a couple of weeks. I'm going to be off in NYC patting WaxPattz and causing general mayhem with Katy. If you see that two women were arrested at a wax museum for molesting WaxPattz...then you'll understand that the next chapter will be a little late ;) Oh, and I guess I'll have to sneak in some time to see Eclipse, won't I? **

**Oh, and I have a twitter...but I have no idea how to share that name thingy...do I just put the whatever my name is or do I have to put a link in? I'm so challenged when it comes to technology :/**

**To everyone in the USA, have a safe and fun filled Independence Day! Let Freedom Ring! :)**


	24. Chapter 24: Do You Remember Rock & Roll

**Whew! Well, it's finally done! Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up! I was on vacation and had a friend from out of state visiting (btw, WaxPattz is one creeeeeepy dude...seriously...he leers...NOT. HOT. If Rob's as creepy in person...*shudders*...but I digress...) I had mucho going on in real life, and it was kickin' my fanny! Heat. Work. Inability to focus. Inability to focus on MY fanfic and stop reading other fanfic's LOL Anyway, I managed to get this chapter done and get it up. Yahoo!**

**Thanks to everyone who's continued to read and review my little story. I do hope I don't disappoint any of you. **

**Please enjoy this installment, and if you like it, kindly show me some love...and spread the love around~tell your friends :D**

**Business as usual: Twilight, it's characters and it's situations do not belong to me. They are the offspring of the magnificent mind of Stephenie Meyer. I just hope it wasn't her who dreamed up the jorts...**

**Please enjoy!**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 24: Do You Remember Rock & Roll Radio**

Carlisle sat in the warmth of the car, watching. Waiting. Waiting for the right time. It was nearly three-thirty in the afternoon. He hadn't called Edward yet, nor had Edward called him, but he was quite sure his son was a nervous wreck. More of a wreck than he'd been since finding out that he might have a child. He knew Edward well. The anticipation alone had to be killing him. He hoped that he'd called his mother and perhaps been able to find some comfort in her voice, because, very soon, this would all be over. One way or another, Edward would have his answers.

He waited patiently, parked in front of the house, watching. It was much nicer than the home the family had resided in back in Seattle. It looked like Garret must be doing well. The move must have suited him. He had to admit that it was a beautiful house, with black shutters, neatly clipped hedges and a pristine white door. It reminded him of Ferris Bueller's house, for some reason, and he smiled at the thought.

"Bueller...Bueller…Bueller," he said aloud in a monotone voice and smiled to himself yet again. If anyone had seen him, they would have taken him for insane, he knew. If anyone had seen him parked here for over two hours, they would have not only taken him for insane, but they would have called the police to have him taken away by now. But this was a pretty good neighborhood. Upper middle class to be sure. And there was no one home. People were either out working or doing their holiday shopping. He needn't worry about the police coming to take him away. Not today.

He adjusted the heat in the cozy car and reclined his seat just a little to get more comfortable, sighing as he did. They didn't make cars like this anymore, he knew. A silver 1992 Mercedes-Benz S-Class, it had been purchased by Old Ed Masen shortly before he had taken ill and was essentially still a brand new car. While Jenks had kept it clean and well tuned, but rarely used it, opting instead to drive the big old black boat of a Cadillac that Ed had loved so much before purchasing this shiny silver thing of beauty.

A short time later, Carlisle's patience was rewarded when a light blue late model Toyota hatchback pulled up in front of the large white clapboard house. He perked up in his seat, knowing that this was what he'd been waiting for. The banged up car idled noisily, belching a thick, white cloud of smoke from the exhaust pipe. But still Carlisle waited, eyes intently focused on the little blue car. He sat still, trying hard to make out the dark figures inside the car, and failing miserably since it appeared that every window in the vehicle had fogged up. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, a girl wearing a puffy black North Face jacket got out of the car.

She looked different than he remembered. Her naturally curly hair was now sleek and straight and much shorter than it had been, but still that same vibrant red color. She seemed taller, perhaps a bit thicker than before. Her face appeared fuller, her cheeks less rosy. But still, it was her. Just a more grown up version than the one he remembered. She was a young woman now. This was what he had been waiting for.

He watched as she bounced up the path and into the house, the pink backpack slung over her shoulder bobbing up and down as she ran. And still, he waited.

When he felt an appropriate amount of time had passed, and it felt right, he got out of the car slowly. His heart pounded in his chest and he began to breathe hard, but he forced himself to remain calm. It would serve no one, least of all Edward, if he didn't retain his senses, if he hyperventilated before he got any answers. He crossed the street with quick, deliberate steps, digging his hands deeply into his coat pockets. The icy frost of the wind nipped at warm his cheeks.

Without hesitation, he marched up to the front door and, taking a deep breath, rang the bell. He could hear the deep gongs as they reverberated inside. He closed his eyes, praying to get all of the answers he sought easily, even though he was prepared for a battle.

The door opened quietly and he heard a small gasp.

"Carlisle?"

He smiled warmly. "Hello, Kate. How are you?"

"Carlisle Cullen?" She pulled the door open more, her voice and eyes disbelieving. "Oh my…it…it is you," fear gripped her voice as her hand covered her gaping mouth.

"In the flesh," he smiled warmly as his blue eyes flashed at her. He could tell by the expression on her face that she knew this wasn't a social call.

"What are you doing here," her whisper was accusatory. She knew very well what had brought Carlisle Cullen to her front door.

"Oh, Kate," Carlisle continued to smile at her. "I think we both know why I'm here."

"You have no business here," she hissed.

"Well, I think I do," the smile slowly faded from his lips. "We had an agreement, Kate, and someone violated that agreement. I can say without question that it wasn't me."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

"Oh, you know, Kate. You know. I believe you have something of my son's inside."

She glared at him. "You should leave now, Carlisle."

"I can assure you, I'm not going anywhere without the answers I came here for," his voice was smooth, even, calm.

"Hasn't your family taken enough from us already," her voice sounded desperate.

Carlisle looked the tall, slender woman in front of him over. She looked…exhausted. Her usually rosy complexion was sallow. She wore no makeup and the line of gray at the top of her head told him she was badly in need of a dye job.

"My family's taken no more from your family than you've taken from us," he assured her in a soft voice. "I'm not here to take anything from you," he shook his head. "I'm here for answers, and to right a wrong that you've committed against my son."

"A wrong committed against your _son_?" Her eyes hardened. "Because of that horny little bastard that you call your _son_, we had to leave our home! Leave our lives," she spat at him. "We had to start over halfway across the country!"

"As a wise man once said, it takes two to tango, Kate," Carlisle quirked his eye brow at her. How dare she insinuate that the fault of this entire situation lay with Edward. He knew for a fact that quite the opposite had been true, that running away together had been an idea that Victoria had pushed Edward into. "I have to say," he continued, "that it looks like you're doing quite well here, Kate. Much better than you ever did in Seattle. The move seems to suit you," he smirked. He didn't want to be confrontational, but she was leaving him with no other options.

She glared at him for a long moment before finally speaking. "You need to leave now, Carlisle."

"I'm not leaving without what I came here for, Kate."

"There's nothing here for you."

"Oh, but there is, and you know it."

A tear rolled down her sad, sallow face. "We had to leave. We can't fight you. We don't have the means…the power…the influence to fight you."

"I'm not here to fight with you, Kate," his voice was gentle, soothing. "I'm here to get answers for my family, for my son, and to set the record straight."

"Why can't you leave us alone? Your precious son has done enough damage to my family," she sobbed.

Carlisle's hands fisted at his sides. He had had quite enough of the accusations, of the blind eye being turned to her daughter. "You want to talk about damage being done? Do you," his voice was a low hiss. "Well, how about this? How about the fact that, thanks to your husband dragging him across the floor, my son permanently lost part of the mobility in his arm? How's that for damage? Or, how about my family having had to leave Seattle two months ahead of schedule, and live in a damn back woods motel for almost three months until the house we were building was complete? That my children had to leave school in the middle of the semester with barely enough time to say goodbye to their friends, which is something they've still not completely forgiven my wife and I for? Or, how about this? My wife, for her part, having to stay behind, alone in Seattle, in order to provide her interior design clients with replacement decorators and to supervise the movers packing up _our_ lives so that _my_ family could leave swiftly in order for _your_ family to save face…is that the kind of damage you're talking about being inflicted?"

Kate looked down at her feet, feeling her face flush. She knew it wasn't fair to put the entire blame on the Cullen family. It was just the easiest way to get through each difficult day. She rubbed her hands over her face, wiping the angry tears away, and sighed.

"I'll have to talk to Garret first," she sighed.

Carlisle heard noise behind Kate and looked up.

"Mom, is that Demetri?"

"No, dear," Kate called over her shoulder, trying her best to sound as normal as possible. "It's…"

But it was too late. Victoria appeared behind her mother's shoulder, eyes wide at the vision before her.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Edward sat on a hard wooden bench on the small porch attached to the house just off the kitchen door. An overhang sheltered him from the lightly falling snow swirling around. He used to love sitting out here when he was little. The cherry red kitchen door was one of those funky old fashioned kinds that was made up of small clear window panes. You could swing open the top half of the door, letting the fresh air inside. His grandfather used to send him outside to play in the summer, leaving the top half of the door open in order to keep an eye on him and to be able to hear him. Of course, the open half of the door would inevitably lead to flies getting into the house, and eventually his grandfather would yell for Edward to get his butt back in the house as he swatted at the offensive flies with a rolled up newspaper.

Edward smiled at the memory. Like so many memories he had in this house, it was a happy one. He took out his lighter and lite up his last cigarette. He had chain smoked his way through the afternoon, declining when Jenks asked if he would like something for lunch. He didn't want anything to eat. His stomach was a giant, nauseous knot. What he did want was another pack of cigarettes, but he couldn't very well ask the butler to pick him up a new pack. That would just be…weird. He would have to ask his father to bring home a couple of packs for him when he called…_if_ he called.

His hand shook as he brought the half smoked cigarette to his trembling lips. His entire body had not stopped shaking since he had heard Bella's voice on the other end of the phone line instead of his mother's, as he had expected. He still couldn't believe that he'd done that. And it wasn't even her cell phone number that he had called. It had been the house phone, the number he rarely ever dialed at all. What the hell had he even been thinking that he dialed her number instead of home?

"You were thinking about that stupid fucking chicken," he chastised himself out loud yet again.

And his sister. Alice. He just couldn't get over it. Alice had been at Bella's house. He had heard her. Heard her clear as day saying, "Hang up the phone, Bella. Just hang up the damn phone." He ran his hand through his hair nervously for the thousandth time. At this rate, he would be bald by the time he was twenty.

And Bella had done it. Bella had listened to Alice and had just hung up on him. She hung the damn phone up. Before he could find his voice, find his breath. Before he could say anything.

_Hang up the phone, Bella. Just hang up the damn phone._

He had to admit it to himself. He'd deserved it. Yep. Everything he was getting now he deserved. He'd been ugly to both Alice and Bella. Ugly to the people he loved the most in this life, to the people who loved him. Mean to his beautiful, loving mother, the woman who wanted nothing more than for him to be happy and feel loved always. He'd been downright cruel to his compassionate and caring father, who had always sacrificed for him and had only his best interest at heart. And he had been inexcusably acid tongued and toxic to his sweet, albeit flaky, sister Alice. Alice, who had always been the only one of his siblings who had been on his side, no matter what. But worst of all, he'd been downright horrible to his beloved Bella.

Bella.

Bella, who loved him, despite his many flaws. Or, perhaps she loved him because of them.

Bella who didn't have to love him, but did anyway.

Bella, who had chosen him.

_She_ chose _him_.

She chose the weird Cullen. The angry Cullen.

She'd wanted him. Sought him out. Found him at work and smiled at him. Made him feel special. Made him feel normal.

And she'd changed him. Changed him for the better. Created a new Edward Cullen. The Edward Cullen he had always hoped he could be, even if only for the briefest of moments.

And now…now he had to live with himself. Live with the after effects of what he'd done. What he'd done years before. What he'd done mere hours earlier.

He had lashed out at everyone who loved him. He had wanted everyone he loved to feel as bad as he felt. To know what it felt like. To feel his pain, even if he had to inflict that pain on them himself.

Now, he was alone. Alone and suffering. In a way, what he'd done to his family who had stood by him in his time of need, and to Bella, who was there for him no matter what, was far worse than anything Rosalie had ever done to him. There was no love lost between himself and Rosalie, that much as certain. Everyone knew it. She did what she did to hurt him because she hated him, and for no other reason. And he knew that. It was what she did. What she had done since joining their family. But even after being intentionally hurt by Rose, he'd gone on and intentionally hurt the people who he knew loved him. The people who stood behind him, supported him. The people who had always held his hand and dried his tears. And he knew better. He knew that what he did was much worse than anything Rosalie had ever done to him.

Regret was a bitter pill, one that we are forced to swallow alone. Edward took his medicine, swallowed his pill, but he didn't enjoy it one single bit.

He sighed, taking another deep drag on his cigarette, and pulled his phone from his jacket pocket. His ungloved hands were red and chapped from the cold as he dialed a number and held the cold phone to his ear. His call went straight to voice mail.

"Hey, Alice…it's…um…it's…me. Um," he sighed, knowing what he wanted to say to her, but not knowing exactly how to say it. "Um, I heard you earlier, and…you were right. I don't deserve for any of you to talk to me, least of all B…Bella," he sighed again. "So, um, I just…I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm a giant ass," he paused, running his hand through his hair again. "I love you, Alice." He hit end and took one final puff on his cigarette before snuffing it out and burying his face in his hands.

His phone rang, startling him. He grabbed it, flipping it open quickly.

"Dad," he asked breathlessly.

"Edward?"

"Oh…Alice...," he couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice.

"Sorry to disappoint you," she snorted.

"No, I just thought you were Dad," he sighed.

"Is everything ok," she sounded concerned, something he didn't deserve. It was obvious that, without a word, she'd accepted his apology and had moved on, without so much as the verbal slap on the wrist he deserved.

"He went to Victoria's house…" his voice trailed off.

"Do…do you know anything yet?" She lowered her voice.

"Why are you whispering?"

"I'm at Bella's. We're decorating for Christmas."

Christmas…something he hadn't even stopped to think about.

"Oh," his heart hurt a little more, knowing that it should be him there, helping her put the lights and decorations on the tree. "Is she there?"

"No, she went up to the attic to see if Charlie had any more lights for the tree stashed up there somewhere. That's why I called."

"Oh," he said again.

"Have you found out yet?"

"No, I'm waiting for Dad to call me," he took a deep breath before continuing, feeling the weight of that impending call. "He went to their house," he repeated again.

"I'm sorry," she sighed, her voice gentle. "I know this has to be absolute torture for you."

He sighed. "Oh, it is. I…I can't think straight. That's…that's how I dialed the wrong number," he frowned to himself.

"I figured that had to be a mistake," she said slowly.

"I meant to call Mom. It was just an accident." _Like the broken chicken_, he thought. "I didn't mean to do that to her."

"Oh," her voice was small and filled with disappointment.

"Would you rather I called her on purpose and then said nothing?"

"No…I know you wouldn't do that, Edward," she sighed. "You're not that cruel, although the last few days…"

"I know. And I'm sorry. Alice, I'm so sorry. I promise I'll apologize to everyone that I've hurt when I get home."

"When _are_ you coming home?"

"I…I don't know," he stood up, his legs feeling frozen stiff from sitting on the bench as long as he had.

"You're waiting to find out before you decide," it was a statement, not a question.

"Yes…yes I am," he hesitated. How could he possibly explain to her? How could he tell her how much he felt here? How this felt so much like home when Forks, the place he called home, felt so foreign and cold? How could he make her understand that here, in this house, in this frozen, windy city, was warmth and comfort and…memories. So many memories. Mostly good. Mostly happy. He'd been too young to understand the pain of the absence of his parents. He'd been to innocent to understand the loss of his grandparents. No, in this place, he was still the happy seven year old boy wearing the Sammy Sosa uniform. He never wanted to leave here again.

"Edward," she sighed. "I need to go. Bella's coming downstairs."

"Ok," he closed his eyes, swallowing hard.

"Let me know the moment you find out, ok?"

"I will."

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

His voice stuck in his throat. "I…," he began but his phone beeped, signaling an incoming text message.

"Edward?"

"I…I have a text," his heart raced so fast he could hear his blood swooshing through his head.

"Go read it and let me know!"

"O-ok," his voice trembled."

"I love you!"

"I love you too," he managed quickly before pressing the end key.

He sat there, staring at the little animated envelope as it danced across the screen of his phone. Fucking dancing message.

His hand shook as he pushed the button to retrieve the message.

For a moment, Edward could not breathe.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Alice reached as high up as she could, slipping a hook around a fresh evergreen bough. A dazzling cascade of clear crystals glistened in the light as she gently set it spinning with a flick of her finger. She smiled, happy that she'd talked Bella into an early morning run to Port Angeles to get more ornaments. There was no such thing as 'too much' in Alice Cullen's world. Everyone knew you couldn't have Christmas without crystals. She had no idea what Bella had been thinking when she bought her decorations. While he loved her fuchsia and lime color scheme, she couldn't believe that Bella hadn't picked up any crystals or anything black. Black grounded your look and pulled it all together. Silly Bella. Didn't she watch HGTV? Now, thanks to their little jaunt, the Swan's tree was spectacular, in Alice's estimation, with the cascades of clear and black crystals accentuating Bella's theme, making it funky, with a bit of an edge and a dash of class. Alice smiled to herself, satisfied that her work here was done.

Bella stomped down the stairs, Doc Martins clomping.

"I can't find it, Alice," she frowned.

"It's ok, Bella. We probably used it somewhere and just can't find where."

Bella looked around, distracted. She knew there was another strand of black crystals somewhere. She'd been holding them when…she sighed. She'd been holding them when she answered the phone. She slipped into the kitchen and found the missing strand on the counter next to the telephone. She frowned, brow furrowing as she picked the crystals up off the counter. Damn you, Edward Cullen.

She shook off her sad face and squeezed her eyes shut. Screw him. He didn't want her or her comfort. He didn't want her love. He was on his own and she was going to be damned if she'd let him bring her down. Not now. Not at Christmas time. Not after decorating this house within an inch of its dismal, stinking life.

"I found it Alice," she called out loudly as she went back into the living room. "Now, where do you want it?"

Alice pointed to the highest branch on the tree. "It has to go up there. Otherwise the tree won't be balanced."

"It's not going to fall over, Alice," Bella scoffed at her.

"I didn't say it would fall, Bella. I said it would look off balance. There will be more over here than over there." She waved her hands up and down in a frantic gesture that would have been comical had Bella not completely understood what she meant.

_A sure sign of early onset insanity_, she thought, _understanding Alice Cullen's hand gestures._

"Ok, ok, I get it. I just don't know how we're going to get this up there," she stood there, with her hands on her hips, looking at the high branch that Alice was determined to have a cascade of crystals falling from.

"Think Charlie would put it up there for us," Alice asked innocently.

"I think Charlie would sooner hang the two of us up there, Alice," Bella shook her head. As if on cue, Charlie Swan was heard loudly cursing a blue streak out on the front porch. The front door swung open, slamming into the wall, and he stomped loudly into the living room.

"Well, I hope the two of you are happy," he sulked, holding his ungloved hand out to them.

"What?" Bella looked at her father.

"Lookit that," he pointed to the thumb on his right hand. "Lookit the nail!"

Bella walked over to her father and took his hand, delicately turning his it over in hers.

"I don't see anything."

"You don't see anything? How could you miss it?" Charlie was exasperated as he rolled his eyes.

"What am I looking for?" Alice came up behind her, looking intently over her shoulder at his hand.

"I slammed my thumb with the damn hammer, that's what you're looking for!"

"But…there's nothing here," Bella shook her head.

"Oh, it's there. It's there," Charlie yanked his hand away before he shrugged out of his heavy jacket, tossing it on the sofa and heading toward the staircase. "That fingernail's going to be black and disgusting by morning. I'll be lucky not to lose the nail," he shouted down to them as he stomped up the stairs. "I'll be in the can!"

Alice skipped away to the front window, looking out. "Did he finish hanging the lights?"

"I have no idea," Bella shook her head and sighed. She flopped down on the sofa, eyes downcast.

"Aw Bella, it's ok. He's just not used to this," Alice sat down softly on the cushion beside her. "He hasn't decorated for a Christmas since…well, since the divorce. He'll come around."

"He's been a Scrooge all weekend with the decorations," she frowned hiding her face in her hands. "I don't need him to be a Scrooge. I need him to be a George Bailey."

"Oh, Bella," Alice brushed her hair from her face. "Even George Bailey was a Scrooge before he understood what was important. You'll see. Just like George, Charlie will get it…and he won't even need Clarence," she smiled at her friend.

They heard the toilet upstairs flush.

"I had no idea your house was like Archie Bunkers," Alice mused as she bumped her shoulder into her friends', trying to elicit a smile as Charlie once again clomped down the stairs.

Charlie appeared and gruffly shoved his arms back into his jacket. "I hope the two of you are happy with yourselves. I'm outside, freezing my butt off to put a billion lights up for you two, and I'm breaking my fingers doing it," he zipped is jacket. "This ain't Disneyland, ya know!" The front door slammed behind him.

Alice smiled as she stood up.. "Smart man. He knows there will be no living with me if he doesn't finish those lights."

Alice's phone chirped and Bella froze.

"That's your phone."

"No it's not," Alice held her arms behind her back and skipped nonchalantly over to the tree. "If I stand on a chair, I think I can reach that branch, Bella."

"Alice Cullen," Bella stood up, placing her hands on her hips. "That was your phone! I know the sound that stupid iPhone makes when you get a text, and that was a text noise!"

Alice turned to look at her. "If it'll make you any happier," she moved gracefully over to her purse, digging with dramatic fashion into it until she fished out her phone. She glanced at it quickly and tossed it back into her bag. "It's just Jasper."

"No it's not," Bella breathed. "If it had been Jasper, you would have checked the text."

"Don't be absurd, Bella. I don't jump every time he says to."

"It's Edward, isn't it? He's gotten the news," Bella moved slowly toward her friend. "He knows something. And you won't read that text in front of me."

"Pffft," Alice shook her head. "Why wouldn't I read a text from Edward in front of you?"

"Because…because…" she looked around and bit her lower lip. "I…I don't know. Because it could be…bad?"

"How bad could it be, Bella," Alice flopped down on the sofa, the old cushions puffing up around her. "You already know it's one of two choices…yes or no."

"Then why won't you read that text?"

"Maybe I don't want to," Alice folded her arms across her chest.

"You don't want to know…do you," Bella sat down on the edge of the sofa, watching Alice.

"Ok, so maybe I don't want to know if my brother has a kid, ok? Maybe…maybe I just want this all to go away so we can go back to being Edward and Alice and…Bella."

Bella looked down at her hands, picking at a blob of tree sap that had stuck to a finger. "It's never going to be like that again, Alice."

"I know," Alice exhaled as though she'd been punched in the stomach. "You think I don't know? But…I can dream it, can't I?"

"You can," Bella nodded. "But it won't do you any good."

"If I don't know, then I can pretend," Alice whispered.

"That's seriously delusional, Alice," Bella leaned back against the sofa. "And I know you're not delusional."

"No, just sad."

"Things will definitely change," she sighed.

"Things are already changed. We can't ever go back, Bella."

Bella looked over at Alice, watching as big tears rolled slowly down the tiny girl's cheeks. "You don't know that for sure."

"He's not coming back, Bella."

"Of course he is," Bella took her hand. "He has to come back. He has to finish school."

"He can go in Chicago."

"But his family is here," Bella insisted.

Alice looked into Bella's chocolate eyes with big, wet black eyes. "But his happiness is there."

Bella felt her breath catch. She was talking about Victoria. Bella had been right. He still loved her and Alice knew it.

"Not her," Alice shook her head, reading Bella's mind, and Bella exhaled with relief. "Edward was happy when we lived in Chicago, Bella. We all were. None of the Cullen family drama and bullshit had happened. His grandfather lavished love, attention and gifts on us. He was popular in school and he played ball. He was…happy."

"He never said anything to me about Chicago," Bella closed her eyes.

"He hated talking about our life there, Bella. It hurt him too much to."

"He was happy?"

"Very," she nodded. "We all were."

There was a lengthy silence as the two friends sat side by side on the sofa. Alice finally broke the silence.

"Chicago was home. You know what they say about home, right?"

"No…what do they say?"

"Home is the place that, when you go there, they have to take you," she smiled sadly at Bella. "It's where you fit in, Bella."

They looked at each other for a moment, before Bella closed her eyes. "And you're sure he won't…won't…come back here to Forks?" She had to force herself to say the words, stuck in her throat as they were. For, as much as Edward had hurt her this weekend, she still held out hope that when he returned with his answers, whatever they would be, they would be able to reconcile and move on with their life together. The idea that he would remain in Chicago was one she'd never thought of while the thousands of scenarios for the outcome of this episode raced through her mind as she lay in bed at night.

"If there's any way he can conceivably figure to stay there, he will." Alice sounded absolutely positive that they'd seen the last of Edward Cullen. "I mean, I don't mean to be such a Debbie Downer, but, well…you do realize that I know him a lot better than you do, right?"

Bella nodded. "Indeed, you do."

"He's probably just reveling in all the good memories right now, even with this uncertainty hanging over his head. And it's making him remember how good it felt to be so happy."

"I thought I made him happy," tears rolled down Bella's cheek. She couldn't help it.

"Oh, but you did, Bella," Alice took her hands in hers. "You did! For the first time since we left Chicago, Edward was happy. Truly happy. And it was because of you."

"But…I'm just not enough," her voice was small. "Now, he's got his precious Victoria and…and…maybe…a…child with her…there."

"Believe me, it has nothing to do with her," Alice reassured once more as she smoothed a lock of stray hair away from Bella's face. "Edward doesn't want her back," she shook her head. "He just wants to be happy again."

"Alice, can you do something for me?"

"What is it, Bella?"

She closed her eyes, swallowing hard before she could speak. "Can you read that fucking text message?"

Without a word, Alice dug her phone from her purse. She tapped on the device a couple of times and stared at the screen.

"Ahhh," she gasped.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Aaahhh...what did Alice see?**

**I dunno...I guess we'll find out next time, eh? :D**

**Yes, I am evil, thank you very much :)**

**Again, many thanks to every one who's continued to read my little story, and thanks to the new readers who've come on board. Please let me know what you think by leaving a review. **

**Oh, and if you like it? Then, spread the love and tell your friends :)**


	25. Chapter 25: Commando

**Thanks to everyone who stuck around and waited for my last update! Again, apologies for taking so long to get that one done! **

**I worked double time to get this one out quickly, and I hope it makes up for leaving y'all hanging at the end of the last chapter! **

**Sadly, I'm running out of Ramone's song titles...not sure what to do about that. Maybe I'll move on to Squeeze songs if I don't wrap this up before RamonesMania runs out LOL **

**Once more, thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed! I do appreciate it a great deal! **

**Time for a little bit of business before moving on...Twilight,t it's characters and situations, belong to that lucky girl, Stephenie Meyer, and sadly, not to me :(**

**Please enjoy this chapter, and if you like it, tell your friends! Oh, and don't forget to click that little 'review' button and let me know what you think as well!**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 25: Commando**

Wild copper hair and sparkling emerald eyes stared up at Edward from his phone.

Everything~time, his breath, his heart~stopped. He ceased to exist for that moment. Then, his mind whirled, spun into a blur, went black, and then blindingly white.

He felt his entire body start to shake violently as he folded in on himself, sliding off the bench and onto his knees as he wailed. He clutched the phone tightly to his chest as warm tears fell from his closed eyes onto his icy cheeks, pulling himself into a fetal position and rocking himself on the frozen ground.

How long he lay there sobbing, shaking and rocking, he could not say. But, suddenly, strong hands were gripping him around his waist and he found himself being hoisted back into an upright position and onto the bench.

"Edward…Edward…it's ok…it's ok…" Jenks soothed him as he wrapped his arms around the trembling boy, hugging him tightly.

He buried his face in the warm down jacket the old man wore, sobbing uncontrollably. He finally had his answer…it just wasn't the answer he had hoped for, prayed for.

"It's true…it's…true," he sobbed. "It's all true!"

"But it's ok, Edward," Jenks ran a gentle hand through the sobbing boy's wild hair. "You'll see. It will all be ok. It will all work out."

They sat silently on the bench, the sad young man and the old elegant butler, holding on to one another. Jenks let him cry, holding onto him tightly, soothing him with soft words and gentle pats on the head, trying to keep him warm in the bitter Chicago cold.

Finally, when his sobs quieted down some, Jenks pulled away.

"You'll catch your death out here, Edward. Let's go inside where it's warm, shall we?"

Edward nodded silently, breath still hitching from quiet sobs. Jenks helped him up from the bench, holding him tightly as they walked back into the house, Edward's trembling legs giving out on him as he tried to walk.

"It's ok, Edward. It's all going to be ok," Jenks sat him down on the little cushioned window seat near the door inside the warm kitchen. "You just sit here for a few minutes and warm up. I'll fetch you a nice warm drink." The old man closed the kitchen door, shutting out the cold wind that was now swirling snowflakes all around. He slipped his down jacket off, laying it over Edward's shivering form. "This should keep you warm for now."

He walked quickly over to the small staircase in the far corner of the kitchen that led up to his quarters, calling up loudly. "Tanya!" Edward jumped slightly, never having heard the butler raise his voice before.

A soft, round grandmotherly woman hustled down the steps and into the kitchen carrying a heavy, brightly colored hand crocheted afghan. She shuffled over to where Edward sat unmoving, and pulled the down jacket off of him. She quickly wrapped the warm afghan around him, rubbing his icy red cheeks with her warm meaty hands.

"You will be warmed up in no time, dear heart," she whispered to him. She had a slight accent that, even if he were in a semi coherent state, he probably wouldn't be able to place.

Edward watched her, not knowing who she was or what to say to her. He was suddenly aware that his teeth were chattering and his entire body was trembling. From the cold. From the shock. The plump woman tucked the afghan around him more tightly, running her thick hands up and down his arms a few times in an effort to help warm him up.

"It is ok, dear. You will warm up shortly. You will see. You will be all right. It will all be all right," she ran a warm hand down his chilled, red cheek.

Jenks reappeared, carrying a steaming mug. The woman whom Jenks had called Tanya, moved away, hands clasped tightly to her chest as she walked over toward where the stove was. Jenks sat down on the bench next to Edward.

"Here we go," he offered the cup up to Edward's slightly blue lips. "Please drink this, Edward. It will make you feel better."

His lips trembled as he took a small sip. The sweet, warm liquid made him shudder a little more than he had already been shuddering.

"What…what is that," his raspy voice shook as he spoke.

"This is a hot toddy, sir," Jenks smiled slightly at him. "I thought you could use it."

Edward took another sip when Jenks offered. It warmed him up inside and made him feel good. He shifted on the bench, sitting up a little straighter and taking the mug from Jenks' hands. He wrapped both of his cold hands around the mug, feeling the warmth as it tried to penetrate his frozen hands.

"Thank you, Jenks," his voice was low, dead.

"I have some nice chicken soup on the stove for you. Tanya will set out a bowl for you when you are ready to eat."

Edward took a long sip from the mug. He could feel the warmth radiating inside of him as his body started to calm. Whatever a hot toddy was, it was making him feel slightly better. "I…I can't eat, Jenks," he looked away from the older man, shaking his head, embarrassed by what he was, by the monster he was.

"Oh, but you must," Tanya reappeared in front of him. He looked up at her. She wore a dark green wool dirndl skirt that was loose enough not to cling to her rounded middle. A thick red and green cardigan sweater that looked hand knit and was fastened with elaborate silver hooks fit just so over her pristine white cotton blouse. A sparkling green crystal pin was clasped across the collar of the blouse. Her green snow boots had green fur lining sticking out of them and made a squishing noise on the brick kitchen floor when she walked. One thing he could be certain of about Tanya: she liked green. Her gray hair was pulled back tightly, and fixed in an elaborate twist of braids on the back of her head. Her deep blue eyes stared at him intently.

"Master Edward, this is my wife, Tanya."

Edward stared at Jenks in disbelief. "You have…a…wife?"

"And three children, and six grandchildren," he smiled at Edward.

"With number seven on the way," Tanya smiled softly as she pulled a chair from the breakfast nook over to where Jenks and Edward sat.

"I'm sorry. I…I'm not thinking straight right now," he apologized as he shook his head. "I'm Edward Ma-Cullen. Edward Cullen," he offered his hand, and Tanya took his still cold fingertips in both her warm hands.

"I know, dear heart," she smiled a sad, sympathetic smile at him.

"I'm sorry. I never knew that you were married," he offered to Jenks before taking another sip of his hot toddy. He liked this. It made him feel lighter, happier. Something was definitely in this, but he wasn't about to ask. Whatever it was, he needed it desperately right now.

"You were a child, sir. Of course you wouldn't have known-or cared to know," Jenks smiled.

"Please," Edward shook his head. "It's just us here. I'm not a sir or anyone's master. I'm not much of anything. I'm just…Edward. Edward the screw up," he sighed.

"You are not a screw up," Tanya shook her head, gently scolding him.

"Then I guess you didn't hear the news. Congratulations are in order. It's a boy," Edward sarcastically patted himself on the shoulder.

"I am well aware of what is happening, Edward," the tenor of her tone surprised him. She was being terse with him, scolding even. He looked at Jenks.

"Your father called me before he sent you his message," Jenks admitted. "He wanted to make sure I was aware of the situation and took care of you until he got home."

"He…he did?" Edward looked surprised. "Was he…was he mad?" Edward's brow furrowed as he looked down at the floor. _Way to ruin your future and disappoint your entire family, you idiot_, he thought.

"He was concerned for you, Edward. Not mad at all," Tanya took his hand. "He is your father and he loves you dearly. Do you think one youthful indiscretion would or could change that?"

Edward sipped from his mug. "This is one hell of an indiscretion."

"Nonsense. In this life, things happen. The measure of a person is not these things that happen. It is how a person meets these…these…" she searched for the correct word. "These…challenges," her face brightened. "Yes, challenges. You will be judged on how you deal with this challenge, Edward. Not on the challenge itself."

"But I…I've been so horrible to everyone," Edward looked down, feeling embarrassed about his behavior for the last few days. "To my dad, my mom, my whole family," he sighed. "I've been a monster to everyone I love." _To Bella_, he thought.

"Then now is the time to fix these things with your family, Edward," Tanya's blue eyes sparkled like sapphires. "Now is the time because now is when you will need them the most. And, make no mistake, they will be there for you. Now is when you need to rise above everything, and show your family what you are made of in the face of this new challenge in your life."

Edward looked at her for a long moment, lost in thought, before he finally spoke. "You're right, Mrs. Jenks," he sighed, sipping his now warm toddy.

"I know I am right," she smiled. "And now, for this challenge ahead of you, you will need to keep your strength up. We need you healthy. So, come and I will fix you some soup, yes?" She stood up, her boots making that same squishing noise as she shuffled over to the stove.

Edward looked at Jenks with a questioning expression on his face.

Jenks shrugged and smiled. "Why do you think I brought her here, Edward? Do you think that I could capable of being that wise?"

Edward stood up, keeping the afghan pulled tightly around himself. He turned to face the old butler. "I think you are a very wise man, Jenks. If someone other than my father had to be with me today, well, I'm glad it was you."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Charlie stomped into the hallway again, slamming the front door behind him in a ritual he'd grown all too familiar with. He blew into his freezing cold hands to warm them a bit before grabbing hold of the ice cold metal zipper and unzipping his jacket.

"Well, for better or worse, it's done! The whole damn house is covered in lights and if you two don't like it, you can go out there and fix it yourselves, because I am finished with this decorating crap," he called into the living room as he took of his jacket and hung it on the coat rack. When he heard no response from inside, he poked his head around the door jam. He spotted the two girls sitting on the sofa, holding tightly onto one another. "Hey…who died?" He regretted saying it the instant it was out of his mouth.

Alice pulled away from Bella, wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. Bella sat, with her head down, and buried her face in her hands. Alice stood up from the sofa, walking slowly toward Charlie, who stood still as a statue, knowing what was coming.

"Oh…Alice," he breathed as she held the iPhone out to him. He took the phone from her trembling little hand, and, looking at the screen, sighed. "Alice…I…I don't know what to say."

A loud sob escaped her as she lunged at Charlie, wrapping her arms tightly around his middle. He held his arms out for a moment, unsure what to do, then, gently wrapped an arm around her shoulder, iPhone still in hand, and patted her quivering head, buried in his chest, with the other.

"It's ok, Alice," he glanced at the sofa, noting his own daughter curled up in a ball, head in her hands. "You'll see…it'll all work out. Hey…Alice…Alice, come on," he pulled at the tiny girl, breaking her strong grip from around him and lead her by the hand over to the sofa. "Come on, now. I know this is upsetting for everyone. Hell, I'm upset about it myself," he sat her down on the sofa and then squeezed himself in between the two girls. "But, well, sweetie, what's done is done. We can't change any of it."

Bella curled herself into her father's side, burying her face. in his chest as Alice did the same. Charlie sighed, wrapping one arm around each girl.

"Come on, guys," he hugged them tightly. "You knew that this was a distinct possibility. I mean, we all knew it was going to go one way or the other. There's no need to be this upset."

"It's not...it's just...it's just that things will never be the same again, Charlie," Alice lamented.

"Well, Alice, that's sort of just life, I suppose," Charlie sighed. Nothing was ever the same again, was it? That's just how life was. "Everything changes at some point. I mean, look at me. I went from young and single, to married, to being married and a father. Went to bed one night married and a father one night, woke up the next morning old and single, seeing my kid only 2 weeks a year," he snorted. "Life's going to deal us some bad hands from time to time, girls. We just need to learn how to play with the cards we're dealt. Make the best of what we have and try not to let it beat us."

Bella fisted Charlie's plaid shirt in her hand. He understood that the changes involved here were far more different for his daughter than they were for Alice. For Alice, the change meant sharing her brother with this new member of the family. But regardless, Edward would always be Alice's brother. For Bella, however, things were forever changed where Edward was concerned.

Alice's phone rang, a happy little version of Jingle Bells, performed by actual jingle bells. Sitting up, she wiped at her eyes with the backs of her hands again before taking her phone back from Charlie.

"Mom," she sighed into the phone before getting up and running quickly into the kitchen to talk to Esme.

Charlie took the opportunity to wrap both arms around his only daughter.

"Hey, you gonna be ok, kid?"

She sniffled, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her old Diamond Backs sweatshirt as she pulled away from him a little bit. She looked up at her father with her red, tear filled eyes, and nodded. "Yeah, I'll live," her voice was low and raspy. "I mean, yeah, I knew this could be the outcome, but it…it's still shocking to find this out, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," he sighed, tightening his grip on her.

"I just hope he's ok," she sighed before resting her head back on his chest.

Charlie ran his large, warm hand up and down her arm. "Does this change how you feel about him?"

She shook her head. "No, nothing could ever change that."

Charlie sighed. "I know that boy loves you, but you should realize and be prepared. He's going to want to do right by that child."

She sat up and stared at her father before closing her eyes and hanging her head. "Do you think I don't know that? I know what kind of a person Edward is, Charlie."

"Then I want you to promise me something, Bells," his voice was so soft she could barely hear it over Alice's shrieking hysterics in the kitchen.

"What's that?"

"I want you to promise me that you won't sit home pining away for him, wishing and hoping for something that will never be. I want you to make sure you get out of the house. Go hang out with your friends, and, oh, hell, I want you to date other boys," he tilted her chin up with his finger so she was looking at him. "I want you to live _your_ life, Bells."

She stared at him for a moment. A life without Edward Cullen wasn't much of a life to her, at least in the way that it wasn't the life she wanted to live. But it was the only life she seemed to have any choice but to live. It wasn't the choice she would make, but it was the choice that Edward had made for her. She sighed, nodding her head. "Of course," she relented. "What other choice do I have?"

"That's my girl," Charlie hugged her tightly. "There's nothing worse than living with what might have been. Trust me…I'm living proof."

"What do you mean?"

"When your mother left…I…I didn't adjust very well," he looked away from her, toward the huge Christmas tree in the corner, feeling his face reddening from the embarrassment of his confession. "It took me a long time to get used to the fact that she was gone and she wasn't coming back."

"How long did it take?"

He looked at her, his hang dog face sad. "Years."

She studied her father's face, memorizing the lines, memorizing the hopelessness in his eyes. She didn't want that. She didn't want this to be her. She didn't want to be Charlie Swan.

"Promise me, Bells. Promise me you won't waste your life away wishing for a love you'll never have again," his voice was low, desperate.

"I promise," she breathed, just as Alice huffed back into the room.

Alice flopped down in Charlie's beat up old recliner, arms folded across her chest, a look of defiance on her face.

"She won't let me go to Chicago," she seethed.

"Well, you do have to go back to school tomorrow," that was Charlie. Not always getting it.

"Screw school. My brother needs me," she whined.

"Dr. Cullen is there," Bella sounded defeated. "You know he'll take good care of him."

"It's not the same thing," Alice shook her head. "Edward has a different relationship with me than he does with our parents."

"Right now, I think that what your brother probably needs is some space and some time, Alice," Charlie tried to reason with the angry girl. "He needs to clear his head so he can think, sort things out. He has some important decisions to make. "

"He's already made the most important decision, Charlie," her tears began to flow again.

"Oh…well…then…uh…what? What decision?"

"He's already decided. He's not coming back to Forks, Charlie."

"He's not…he told you this, Alice?"

"Not in so many words, but I've never been more sure of anything before. He's going to stay out there in Chicago. To be close to them," Alice stared blankly over at the tree that she and Bella had spent most of the day painstakingly decorating. But now, the mood in the room was anything but festive, and the glistening Christmas tree stood there, mocking her.

"And how is he going to do that? Stay in Chicago? Your parents going to rent an apartment or something? Or…are you all going to move back there," Charlie scratched his head. He couldn't fathom Carlisle picking up the whole family and relocating them yet again.

"They still own Edward's grandfather's house there, Charlie," Bella spoke quietly. Alice had spent most of their drive to Port Angeles that morning filling her in on their lives back in Chicago, and how Edward's life there had been far better than what it had been since they moved to Forks. "Or…some trust owns it or something?" She didn't understand how rich people operated and she didn't try to pretend that she did.

"It's part of Edward's inheritance," Alice's voice was a dead monotone.

Charlie looked at her. Edward's inheritance? He had no idea what she was even talking about. "So…so your parents are going to just let him live out there? In that house? On his own," Charlie sounded incredulous. What kind of parents would allow a seventeen year old boy live on his own in a big city? The Cullen's had never struck him as being that irresponsible, and he doubted that this new revelation was going to change that now. Surely Alice was mistaken. She had to be.

"I don't know, Charlie. I'm sure they'll work something out for him. My parents will do anything to make sure Edward is happy," Alice sulked. "Even if it means that I get to be miserable."

"Alice, you don't know that for sure," Bella shifted away from Charlie and leaned over the sofa toward her friend. "Your parents could tell him no if he asks. Plus, you don't even know if he wants to stay there. You're just assuming that he does."

"Bella, I'm right about this," Alice's voice was quiet, but she looked at Bella with hard black eyes. "You know I'm never wrong."

"You've been wrong before, Alice, and you know that."

"Name one time," Alice dared her.

Bella swallowed hard, glaring at Alice.

"I'm not wrong about that," Alice's voice was firm. "You'll see."

"You said yourself he's not coming back," Bella shot back.

"One thing has nothing to do with the other," Alice shook her head. "They are two separate and distinct things, Bella."

"What the hell are the two of you talking about," Charlie sounded exasperated as he looked from one dark haired girl to the other, noticing for the first time how utterly exhausted they both looked.

"Alice thinks that Edward has never stopped loving me," Bella sighed as she closed her eyes. She knew for a fact that Alice was mistaken about that.

"He hasn't. And they will be together," Alice affirmed to Charlie. "They are destined to be together, Charlie."

"Well, Alice," Charlie nodded at her. "That's easy for you to say, but, as the old saying goes, actions do speak louder than words, and your brother's actions have quite the opposite meaning than what you are saying."

"You'll see, Charlie," she closed her eyes, sighing as she leaned her head back against the chair. "I'm never wrong, and Bella knows that."

"Whatever, Alice," Bella curled into her father, tucking her feet under herself and closed her eyes. "You'll see that this is the one instance where you are absolutely wrong."

There was quiet for a moment, until Alice broke it.

"You know that everyone at Jessica's Halloween party thought your boobs were fake, don't you?"

"What?" Bella's head shot up.

"Yep. They were all talking about Chief Swan's daughters boob job and they wondered how the Chief could afford boobs like that on his salary."

"Don't be ridiculous, Alice," Charlie shook his head, laughing a little.

"I'm the one who told them they were real. I was the only one who knew they weren't fake. And that was before I even touched them."

Charlie leaned back on the sofa, closing his eyes. "Alice, we need to have a little talk later on about boundaries and how sometimes too much information really is too much information."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Carlisle kicked the snow off his shoes before he entered the front door. It had been a long, difficult day, and he wasn't sure what awaited him inside the old Masen house. He was just thankful he'd had the foresight to call Jenks and let him know what was going down so the old butler could look after Edward and watch the boy until he was able to get home.

After he had completed his mission and left Victoria and her family, he had driven around his old home town, lost in thought, for a long time before he finally turned into the driveway of the massive old estate. The gray stone main house had always looked so much like a cathedral to him, and that hadn't changed. It had started snowing on his way home from Victoria's and it made the old house look like some sort scene from a Dicken's story. He hoped that this story had a happy ending for his son.

It had almost given Carlisle the willies when Charlie Swan had given him Victoria's new address. Less than ten miles from this house. A chill ran up his spine when he thought of the odds, but he wrote that off as the cold Chicago winter that was blowing up a storm outside and chilling him to the bone inside.

Carlisle remembered how he and Esme had looked at houses in the very neighborhood of Northbrook when they were bringing Edward into their family. In fact, if he recalled correctly, they had even looked at a house on Victoria's street. He shivered again when he thought of the odds that Victoria and Edward's child could be living in that very same house.

But now, now he was back in the stately old mansion of Edward Masen, Sr. in the stately old suburb of Lake Forest, Illinois. The old house was warm, in so many ways. Once upon a time, there had been life and love and family here. And perhaps the residue of all of that life and love was still here. Maybe old Ed's spirit was still lurking among the wood paneled walls and plush upholstery, watching over his beloved grandson, showering his endless supply of love onto the boy.

At least Carlisle had hoped he was, and said a little prayer to old Ed, just in case.

"Hello?" His voice echoed in the empty, massive entranceway.

"Edward? Jenks?" He walked into the warm kitchen, but there was no sign that anyone had even been in there. Puzzled, he wandered through the butler's pantry and out into the formal dining room. From there, he headed down the hallway and back to the main entrance hall, where he started up the stars. Perhaps Edward had gone to his room to lie down?

"We are in the library, Dr. Cullen."

Carlisle jumped, not expecting to hear anyone. He looked down to see Jenks standing at the foot of the stairs, looking up at him. He stood in his usual position, with his hands clasped behind his back.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to startle you."

"It…it's ok, Jenks," he headed down toward the butler, noting that the old man was now wearing a warm burgundy cardigan instead of his usual black suit jacket. The pristine white shirt and black tie were still in place, however.

The butler noticed him staring. "I'm out of uniform, I know. I'm sorry, sir. I'll go and change."

"No, no, not at all," Carlisle smiled. "I was just admiring your sweater. It's quite nice. Looks hand crafted."

"My wife knits," Jenks smiled slightly as he headed around the stairs and down a long hallway toward the library, Carlisle trailing along behind him like a lost child.

The massive solid mahogany double doors to the library were closed, but even so, as they approached the end of a long hallway, Carlisle heard it.

The Steinway.

He stopped at the closed door as his heart pounded and his breath caught in his throat. The most sadly beautiful melody floated from the room. He recognized it immediately.

Bella's song.

"Sir? Are you alright?" The butler sounded concerned, as the color drained from Carlisle's face.

"I…I can't go in there," he whispered to the butler, his voice shaking.

"Why not, sir? Master Edward has been playing the most beautiful concert for us this afternoon. I must say he's quite talented. His grandfather would be very proud of him. This one is his own composition."

"I…if…if I walk in there, he'll stop playing. He…he needs to play," Carlisle shook his head, backing away from the door nervously. "He needs to at least get through this piece."

Jenks studied Carlisle's face, and understanding dawned on him. "Now it makes sense."

Carlisle's brow furrowed. "What makes sense?"

"Earlier, when he made a phone call…" the butler's voice trailed off.

"He was calling his mother," Carlisle sighed.

"If you saw his face, you would have known it wasn't his mother who he called, and I don't think it was done on purpose."

"He called her by accident," Carlisle whispered.

Jenks nodded. "I believe he did. If you don't mind me asking, what is her name," he asked quietly.

"Isabella."

"He must have loved her very much."

"He still does, Jenks. He still does."

"Then…why?"

Carlisle looked at the butler, an eyebrow quirked.

"If she loved him back, she would understand."

"She does understand. It's Edward who doesn't understand," Carlisle's voice was sadly quiet.

"Ah, now I understand why this particular piece has such a forlorn quality to it. So beautiful, and yet, so melancholy."

Carlisle leaned against the wall across from the door and waited, scrubbing a hand over his face as he exhaled a long breath.

"My son has a good heart, but he doubts himself so much, Jenks."

"He's a good man, Dr. Cullen."

Carlisle looked at the older man with watery blue eyes. "How…how did he…was he…is he ok?"

"He fell to the ground in his anguish, sir. It was to be expected. We've not left him alone since."

"Was it…I wanted to be here to tell him in person," he closed his eyes. "But he…he had insisted…the wait was eating him alive, he said," Carlisle hung his head down as a lone tear escaped his eye. "I'm a terrible father. I shouldn't have listened to him. I should have been here for him."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, Carlisle," the butler placed a fatherly hand on the younger doctor's shoulder. "You did as he requested. He wasn't alone. Tanya and I were here for him."

"I'm his father," Carlisle sighed. "I should have been here."

"You are here, aren't you? And you _were_ there for him. You are the one who went to find out, so he wouldn't have to," Jenks shook his head. "Carlisle, you are a good father to this boy. Dr. Masen would never have trusted you with him if he wasn't positive of that. And you've proven him right today."

Carlisle looked at the elderly man, tears running down his wind burned cheeks. "I was terrified to come to Chicago. Terrified of what I would find here, what it would do to Edward."

"It's going to make Edward a better man, Carlisle."

Carlisle noticed that the sad melody had stopped and he heard laughter from the room as someone fumbled through Chopsticks on the Steinway. He looked at Jenks with a puzzled expression on his face.

"I'm afraid that would be my fault, sir. I gave him a couple of hot toddy's," Jenks looked apologetically at Carlisle. "He looked like he could use them."

Carlisle smiled sadly. "A couple of hot toddy's are the least of his troubles, Jenks." The doctor sighed and, closing his eyes while offering up a silent prayer, pushed open the doors to the library, and to his beloved son, Edward.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Well, there it is...resolution...**

***ducks***

**I don't know how this will all go down...but things are definitely going to change. What will Edward do? Will he stay in Chicago like Alice is so sure he will? Will he go back to Forks and have Carlisle send a monthly check? Beg for a DNA test? Deny, deny, deny?**

**One thing is certain...both Edward and Bella have a lot to think about. **

**And then there's Bella's promise to Charlie to contend with...**

**Like I said...things are definitely going to change.**

**Thanks so much to everyone who's continued to read my little story. Please let me know what you think (and I know some of you who definitely will be letting me know LOL) by pressing that little review button right there on the bottom. I really do want to hear from you :) **

**And, if you do like it, why not pass it along to your fanfic friends? **

**I promise to try to be more regular with my updates now that things have settled down in real life. Can you believe it's August already? I can't! And soon it will be Christmas in Forks ;)**

**Thanks again for reading and reviewing!**


	26. Chapter 26: Rock n Roll High School

**Once more, real life has interfered with my creative outlet. *sigh* Men. Really. Tick. Me. Off.**

**Anyway, once again, thanks to everyone who's still coming along on my little ride! Apologies for the delay in posting this chapter, but I find it hard to write when a member of the opposite sex is infuriating me to such an extent that I feel as though my head will explode! Aaaahhhhh...**

**Anyway, thanks to everyone who's reading and reviewing and passing the link along to their friends! I really do appreciate it! And, I haven't just been brooding and plotting revenge on Mr. Man. I've been working on 2 new fanfics (go me! aahh...not really, but I do try hard LOL) So please keep reading, reviewing and passing it along!**

**Business: Twilight, it's characters and situations do not belong to me. They belong to Stephenie Meyer, who probably never had to deal with someone like Mr. Man... ;)**

**Thanks again to everyone reading!**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Chapter 26: Rock n Roll High School **

By lunch time on Monday, the entire student body at Forks High School knew that Rosalie and Emmett had been unceremoniously thrown out of Doctor Carlisle Cullen's home and that Edward Cullen may or may not have fathered a child while the family lived in Seattle. The only thing preventing them from knowing the truth was Rosalie's unexpected dismissal from the Cullen family and from the family abode. Rosalie, whether she liked it or not, was no longer welcome to be a Cullen.

Alice, to her credit, ran interference for her brother, planting a story with Jessica Stanley that she knew would spread through the school faster than any bit of gossip Rosalie could ever start.

Bella leaned against her old truck in the school parking lot, listening to her iPod as she waited for Alice and Jasper to show up. And show up they did, in Alice's bright yellow Porsche. Alice zoomed into the crowded lot, pulling it effortlessly into the space next to where Bella had her ancient truck parked and revved the engine noisily, attempting to attract as much attention as possible.

"Jesus, Alice! Could you be any more conspicuous? They didn't hear you in Cleveland," she yanked her ear buds out as she watched Jasper slowly extract himself from the little sports car, looking green and more than a little unsteady on his feet. "Jasper looks like he's sea sick."

"If you had to ride with her, you'd look like this too," he mumbled as he moved slowly over to lean on Bella's truck, stretching his long form as he did.

"Oh, like you're any better at driving," Alice scoffed, tossing her pink Juicy Couture messenger bag onto the hood of Bella's truck with a loud thunk.

"Hey! Watch the truck, dude!"

All of the commotion they were making worked. Jessica Stanley couldn't contain her curiosity any longer and bounced nosily over to the little group.

"Hey guys! Oh my gosh! Alice, did you get a new car?" She was bright and happy and perky and all Bella wanted was to punch her right in her perky little pink face. It should be a law that no one was allowed to be perky at school on a Monday morning. Particularly on a Monday morning after a long weekend. And especially on a Monday morning after an incredibly lousy long weekend where you find out your boyfriend might be a father and then he dumps you for God knows what reason, like the long weekend Bella had just had.

"Nope, I've had this for a while," Alice purred as she bounced up and down on her toes, the anticipation of executing her plan killing her.

"Why didn't you just ride with Edward in his dad car like you always do?"

"It's not a dad car, Jess," Bella rolled her eyes.

"Bella, yuppie parents all drive Volvos. Edward's the only high school guy I've ever met with a Volvo," Jessica giggled. It was a poorly kept secret around Forks High that Jessica had long harbored impure fantasies where Edward Cullen was concerned. Several of those dirty little ditties concerned the backseat of said silver 'dad car', as well as the hood of it.

"Edward's the only high school guy you've ever met with a car that wasn't made before you were born, Jess," Bella rolled her eyes upward and shook her head. "Everyone here drives cars from the last century."

Jasper let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, Forks isn't exactly the new car capital of the world."

"Hey, where is Edward, anyway?" There it was. Jessica couldn't resist, taking the bait the trio had laid out for her like a rat squeezing itself unwittingly into a trap.

"He's not here today," Bella sounded casual, as casual as you could possibly sound while lying through your teeth. But that wasn't really a lie, saying that he wasn't there. Truth was, he _wasn't_ in school that day.

"Oh? Is he sick? Too much turkey, huh," Jess let out a giggle, her brown curls bobbing. "Or did you shop him till he dropped, Bella?"

God, Bella really couldn't stand her. Why did she eat lunch with her every day, anyway?

"Actually," Alice interjected. "He had to go to Chicago. Emergency in his biological family."

"Really," Jessica's eyes about bugged out of her head. "He knows his biological family?"

"Edward's was an open adoption," Jasper offered. "He's the only one of us still in contact with his biological relatives."

"Ohhhh," Jessica's eyes were huge as she stood, riveted. "That sounds pretty cool. How does that work, an open adoption?"

Alice shrugged. "I don't really know. I guess it just means that his family keeps in contact with him and he knows who they are.

"Does that work," Jessica asked, fascinated.

"I guess," Alice shrugged. "I mean, it works for him, and it's good for him, I suppose," she remained non-committal. Really, this was just too easy.

"So, he spent Thanksgiving with his real family?"

"The Cullen's _are_ his real family, Jess," Jesus, she was stupid _and_ nosey! The single most annoying combination ever! Bella was losing her patience. She hoped Alice was right, and this worked. And she hoped Alice got to the point quickly, before she gave into the urge to snap Jessica's scrawny neck.

"You know what I mean, Bella," Jessica sniffed.

"No," Alice shook her head. "He got a call from his auntie on Friday morning. His uncle had taken a turn," Alice's face reflected the gravity of the news she was delivering. She looked down as she lowered her voice. "He's not expected to see Christmas," she whispered, looking up at Jessica through her thick, dark eyelashes.

"Oh my goodness," Jessica's hand flew up to cover her gaping mouth. "Poor Edward! Is he close to his uncle?"

"His uncle is his closest living biological relative," Alice nodded. "Edward was quite upset."

Damn if little pixie like Alice Cullen wasn't an amazing actress. Even though Bella was in on the plan, she still stood there, captivated by her performance. If this had been a movie, chances are Alice would find herself holding a little golden statuette as a reward for a job well done while she thanked the Academy in a stunning designer evening gown, dripping with jewels.

"Oh, poor Edward," Jessica's voice dripped with false sympathy. Bella knew that she was just bursting inside, dying to run to Lauren Mallory with the juicy news. She didn't give a darn about the poor sick uncle, just the fact that Edward had an open adoption…whether that meant anything to her or not. "Tell him I'm praying for his uncle if you talk to him," she began to walk away, taking the bait with her. "I have to run to class, but I'll see you at lunch, Bella!"

When she was out of earshot, the trio began to giggle.

"Wow, you were right, Alice. She is a gullible gossip," Bella shook her head.

"I told you. Right now, she's heading straight for Lauren. And you know once _she_ knows, _everyone_ knows! Catty bitch."

"I love you, Alice. You evil little master mind," Jasper placed a kiss on her cheek.

"I love you too, Alice. At least, if he does come back, he can save face, you know?"

The two girls looked down at the pavement sadly. If Alice was right, and Edward stayed in Chicago, the whole story was for nothing.

"Let's not worry about that now," Jasper offered, putting an arm around each girl. "We did the best we could. You know Rose is going to do her best to spread her vile gossip."

Alice grabbed her bag off of the hood of Bella's truck and slung it over her coat. "Yeah, she will. But, seriously, you know people are more apt to believe us instead of her. Too bad bitchy is the one telling the truth this time."

The trio quietly trudged off to face their first class of the day.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Edward held the coffee cup between his hands, the pounding in his head having not subsided much since he woke up.

"What was in those things, Jenks," he asked quietly.

"I use brandy, sir, but you could use whisky or even rum, if you like."

"Brandy…remind me never to drink brandy again," he closed his eyes and laid his head down on his outstretched arms.

"Would you like an aspirin, sir?"

Edward shook his head. He'd had four of Jenk's magical hot toddies the day before. At least it had been four that he could remember drinking. At the time, it seemed like a good idea. They warmed him up from the inside out and made him feel remarkably better, much lighter, less tense. He'd played his precious Steinway for Jenks and his wife Tanya. He'd played the song he wrote for Bella for them. Hell, he'd even played Chopsticks for them.

The next thing he remembered was waking up in his pajamas in his bed at four am, feeling like he'd crossed the Sahara after being beaten all over his body with a tire iron.

But, making him feel worst of all, was that he still had no idea what information his father had gathered for him.

Carlisle stepped lightly into the kitchen, dressed neatly in well pressed khakis and a burgundy v-neck sweater.

"Well, good morning, sunshine," he smirked at his disheveled child, slumped over the table. Edward's copper hair was in a state of disarray seldom seen, and that said a lot. Both his mouth and his Cubbie's blue bathrobe hung open as he sat there, praying for his headache to go away. "You're looking fresh as a daisy today."

"Morning, Dad," he managed to mumble before closing his eyes. Carlisle was going to make this as difficult as he possibly could.

"Feeling it today?" Carlisle sat down at the table next to Edward, and slipped his napkin onto his lap as Jenks brought a steaming cup of coffee over to him.

"I take full responsibility for Master Edward's situation this morning, Dr. Cullen. I'm the one who fed the drinks to him, sir."

"It's ok, Jenks. We'll let yesterday slide, but in no way are you to make a habit of this, young man. Understand?" Carlisle sipped his coffee. "That's good coffee, Jenks."

"Thank you, sir."

"Did you talk to her?" Edward closed his eyes, wincing at the pounding in his head.

"Yes, I did," Carlisle sighed, looking at Edward.

"What did she say?"

"What could she say? At first, Kate didn't want to talk to me. Tried to deny it. But when Victoria came to the door with the baby in her arms, well, that was it. There really was no denying who the father of that child is. I found out later that they were afraid we would take him away so she tried to deny it."

"What…" Edward swallowed hard, his throat dry. "What…what did she name him?"

"Alec. Alec Edward, actually," Carlisle's tone was matter of fact.

Edward closed his eyes, swallowing hard again. The picture his father had sent him of the child was all he saw, the chubby little cherubic face with the sparkling green eyes and wild russet hair that was now burned into his mind for eternity.

"Is he…did he seem…is he happy and well cared for?"

"It's Kate we're talking about here, Edward," Carlisle snorted. "He's more than happy and well cared for. He's coddled and pampered and spoiled beyond belief."

"Did you hold him?"

"Yes," Carlisle smiled. "Played with him a bit. A very pleasant child. Not at all like his mother."

"I'm sorry, Dad," Edward's eyes were cast down at the table.

"For what?" Carlisle took another sip of coffee as Jenks placed a dish in front of him. "Mmm, sunny side up. Your mother never could make a decent sunny side up egg," he smiled at Edward.

"I'm sorry for all of this. I'm sorry for…everything," he took a deep breath, running a hand through is already disheveled hair as Jenks slid a dish in front of him. Scrambled eggs, hash brown potatoes and back bacon. "Thank you, Jenks."

"You're welcome, sir," Jenks smiled sadly, nodding.

"Edward, what's done is done," Carlisle's tone was one of understanding. "You need to stop beating yourself up, son, or you'll go insane." He shoved a fork full of hash browns into his mouth. "Mmm…delicious, Jenks."

"I know, but I really put you into a bad situation," Edward shoved his food around on his plate, having no real appetite. "And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry I'm such a...disappointment."

Carlisle sighed. "Look, we can go around and around on this, but we'll only end up in the same spot," he put his hand on his son's arm. "There's really no use in running in circles. It's done. Over. It happened and you have a little boy named Alec who is the spitting image of you and is an absolute delight," he paused for a moment. "And you could never be a disappointment to your mother or me."

Edward looked at his father and closed his eyes, willing the tears he felt building up in his eyes away. After a moment, when he was sure his voice wouldn't crack, he spoke. "So…what's the plan?"

"The plan? Well, that's up to you, I imagine," Carlisle sipped his coffee.

"What do you mean? Didn't you…I dunno…make arrangements or something?"

"Arrangements?"

"Yeah, you know…I…I don't know," he ran both of his hands through his hair nervously. "I guess I should send money, right? Like, monthly? That's what I should do," he nodded his head.

"That's fine Edward, but we didn't discuss money."

"You didn't?" He really wanted a cigarette badly, but unfortunately he remembered he was out.

"No. I just went there to find out the truth," he spread some jam on his toast. "Any arrangements there are to be made have to be made by you."

"Me," he stared at his father, the mental fatigue visible on his young face. He hadn't shaved in days, and the dark beard that covered his face made him look haggard and even more tired.

"Yes," Carlisle took a bite of his toast. "Edward, you need to meet with Victoria. To discuss this. Discuss these…arrangements, as you put it."

"I don't understand."

"She wants to talk to you before you meet him."

"Meet…you want me to _meet_ him? Meet Alec?" The blood drained from Edward's face and a chill ran through his body. Could his father be serious?

"Edward," Carlisle looked at him, stern expression fixed on his face. "This isn't negotiable. I won't allow you to ignore this child."

"I wasn't planning on ignoring him, Dad. I intend to support him," Edward pushed his breakfast dish away from him, the smell of the food nauseating him. "He's got his neat little life with Kate and Garret and Victoria. Why would I want to upset that?"

"It's not the same thing. Whether you like it or not, whether you knew about him or not, whether he was an accident or not, the fact remains that he's _your_ child. This child had nothing to do with your errors in judgment or with Victoria's. He deserves his father's attention," Carlisle's vivid blue eyes pierced into Edward's defeated green orbs. "Don't make the child pay for the sins of the parents, son."

Edward looked at his father, at the look of determination on his face and felt unnerved.

"You have an opportunity here, Edward," Carlisle's voice was low. "You can make something amazing out of something unexpected."

"But how do I do that," tears fell silently down his face. Deep down, he knew his father was right. He knew couldn't walk away from his responsibility. Sending a check was a poor substitute for being a father. Carlisle would be completely disappointed in him. And what would his grandfather think of him if he shirked off his responsibilities to this child? No, he knew he could do this. He knew he could be there for this child…for Alec.

"So…how do I…um…do I…do I…I go to Victoria's house?"

"Master Edward, you've not touched your breakfast," Jenks reappeared in front of the table, a scowl on his face as he eyed Edward's untouched breakfast plate. "Was there something wrong with it?"

"I'm sure it's very good, Jenks. I'm just not hungry."

"You need to eat to keep up your strength," the butler took the plate of cold eggs from the table. "These winters in Chicago are quite cold, sir."

Edward could tell from the look on the older man's face that he was not going to win this argument.

"I'll prepare you a fresh plate, sir."

"Ok," Edward's voice was as small as he was feeling at that moment. He wished he had a cigarette. He wished he had one of Jenk's hot toddies. He wished he had his mother there with him. He wished Alice were around. But most of all, he wished Bella's loving arms were wrapped tightly around him. She'd understand. And she'd encourage him and give him all the strength he could ever need. But he'd thrown her overboard and now, by his own hand, he was forced to sail these rough waters on his own.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Alice pulled up a chair next to Bella. She never sat with Bella's group of friends for lunch, but that was going to change today.

"Hi," she bubbled as she tossed a small pink thermal bag onto the table. "I hope you don't mind if Jasper and I join you today for lunch."

Jessica Stanley smiled widely. Bella noticed for the first time that her teeth were large and slightly buck. Someone needed to visit the orthodontist.

"Oh, no problem at all, Alice! We'd love to have you guys!"

Alice smiled. "Thanks, Jess. By the way, I meant to tell you in English how nice that sweater looks on you."

Jessica's smile widened even more, if that was possible. A compliment from Alice Cullen on her clothes…could this day get any better?

Angela Weber took her usual seat at the table. "Hi everyone. It's good to see Alice and Jasper here too," she pulled out her brown paper bag and set up her sandwich neatly. Peanut butter and jelly on white bread with the crusts cut off. She looked up and thought for a moment. "Bella, where's Edward?"

Bella could feel her palms start to sweat, but she shouldn't have worried. Jessica Stanley was more than eager to answer Angela's question.

"You must be the only person in the school who hasn't heard," she sniffed. "Edward is in Chicago. There's been an emergency with his uncle. His _biological_ uncle." She drew out the word biological so that Angela would know the significance.

Angela thought for a moment before she replied. "Alice, I thought all of you were adopted?"

"We are," Alice jumped in just as Jessica took a breath to answer Angela's question. "But Edward's was an open adoption. He's in touch with his birth family."

"Oh wow. That's cool. I've heard of those," Angela took a bite of her sandwich, and Edward's situation was forgotten.

Mike Newton, Tyler Crowley and Erik Yorkie arrived at the table together.

"What's this," Mike inquired. "One Cullen is absent so we get 2 Cullen's to replace him? How's _that_ fair?"

"Hi Mike," Jasper said warmly and smiled a broad, lazy smile.

"Uh…hey, Jasper," Mike felt like an idiot.

"Good afternoon, Mike. Tyler. Erik," Alice made sure to address each one.

Disarmed by Alice and Jasper's politeness, Mike sighed and sat down in his chair with a resigned flop. Erik and Tyler followed suit.

"So how was everyone's holiday," Angela took a small bite of her sandwich.

"It was great! We were at my grandma's in Port Angeles. We did so much shopping that my feet still hurt," Jessica was always more than happy to contribute to the conversations, particularly when she was able to contribute about her favorite subject: Jessica.

"We shopped too," Angela sipped from her juice box.

"We were skiing," Mike offered.

"Where'd you go," Jessica bounced in her seat.

"Whistler."

No one noticed Bella stiffen, except for Jasper and Alice. Alice gently took Bella's hand under the table, holding it tightly.

"Sounds like fun, Mike," Alice smiled.

"Yeah, the whole family was there. Uncles and aunts. Cousins. We rented this huge house and you could see the whole mountain from it. Pretty awesome," he nodded his head before turning his full attention back to his sandwich.

"What did you do, Alice? I mean, before Edward got called away," Angela smiled at her.

"Didn't you hear? The Cullen's kicked poor Rosalie and Emmet out of the house." Lauren Mallory dropped her books down on the table with a thud. "Happy Thanksgiving, Cullen style."

"Are you kidding? Where have you been? She's a fucking bitch," Mike snorted and took another bite out of his smushed sandwich. "It was probably long overdue."

"Seriously. If she's a bitch here at school, can you imagine living with her," Jessica agreed with Mike, not that anyone would have expected otherwise.

"She's fuck hot," Tyler offered between bites on a carrot. "But, just because you're beautiful doesn't mean you're a nice person."

"Have you guys heard what she's saying about Edward," Erik was sipping soup out of a wide mouthed thermos.

"Oh my God," Jessica exclaimed. "Yes! What a bitch to start a rumor like that when he's not here to defend himself!"

"I know! The guy's got like, real issues to deal with and she's trashing him all over school," Tyler chucked the remains of his carrot into his brown paper bag. "And, I gotta say, I used to think Cullen was kinda scary before I got to know him. Maybe, back then, yeah, I'd have believed it. But now? That I know him? Fuck no!"

"Yeah, Rosalie's a few months late with that story. Maybe back when Edward was all emo and crap, people would have bit, but I doubt anyone believes her now," Mike wiped his mouth with his napkin.

"That's got to make her even more angry," once more Jessica was agreeing with Mike. "She'll probably take it out on poor Emmett."

"She has this way of…of…belittling people," Angela's voice was small and she looked down as she spoke. "She does it to poor Emmett all the time. She's done it to me."

"I'm sorry for that, Angela," Alice smiled sympathetically at her. "I understand how it made you feel…because I know how it made me feel."

Lauren didn't look up from her little container of tuna salad as she tossed it around with a plastic fork. She knew that at one time or another, everyone at this table had been a target of Rosalie's mean streak.

"What happened this weekend at our house between my parents and Rosalie, well, that's a family matter. She can tell you whatever she wishes," Jasper was calmly balling up the wrapper from his sandwich. "But Alice and I aren't going to dignify her remarks with a response."

"It's ok," Mike assumed the position of table spokesperson. "It's private and we can all respect that, right guys?" Everyone nodded, adding in 'yes' and 'mmhmmm'. Deep down inside, they were all just dying to know. Dying to know what happened that kindly Dr. Cullen had tossed two of his own children out into the cold. Dying to know if the rumor about Edward was true. But, they now considered him to be their friend, and as such, they would not pry.

"So," Jessica segued away from the line of conversation. "I need everyone to keep their calendars open. I'm having the annual Christmas party two weeks from this Friday." Jessica Stanley fancied herself the foremost party planner of Forks High School, as evidenced by her annual Halloween, Christmas and Memorial Day blow outs. Mostly, they were your average high school parties~they were what you made of them. But to her, they were _the_ social event of each season.

"I'm in," Erik was the first to reply.

"Because you have no life," Tyler snorted.

"Oh and you do," Erik tossed his balled up used napkin at him.

"I might."

"He'll be there," Mike shook his head.

"You'll _all_ be there," Lauren sniffed.

"And so will you," Mike stuck his tongue out at her. He liked her less and less with each day.

"Alice, will you and Jasper come," Jessica asked.

"Of course we will," Alice jumped in her seat and clapped her hands at the invitation. "And so will Bella and Edward, if he's back in time."

Bella felt her heart sink. She would love nothing more than to go to Jessica's party with Edward, even though she knew this was not possible.

But she trudged on, following Alice's lead and keeping up appearances. "Of course I'll be there…and Edward too, if he's back," she nodded determinedly.

Jessica smiled from ear to ear before turning to Angela. "And don't you even think of trying to make any excuses! You and Ben are going to be there, period."

The shy girl smiled warmly and Bella could feel it in the pit of her stomach. It was nice to be wanted by someone, anyone. She just wished that someone was Edward.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Edward sat at the table in the small coffee shop. It wasn't a Starbucks. It was just a small, local place that the kids from Northbrook High School seemed to have taken over, judging from the noise level that surrounded him. He dug his hands deeper into the pockets of his leather jacket. He was going to have to ask his father to take him to get a warmer jacket if he was going to stay here for a while.

At first he couldn't understand why she'd asked to meet in a place like this. They had some important things to discuss, and odds were she'd know most of the kids in the place. He snorted to himself. Of course he realized why she would want to meet here. He knew she would want to be seen with him. Appearances were very important to Victoria. He wasn't blind. He knew he was good looking. He knew what the girls at Forks High thought about him. Edward Cullen was hot, even if he was the weird, angry Cullen. No, Victoria would get a buzz out of this crowd, being seen with a handsome, mysterious stranger. All ego, that was Victoria.

He checked his watch again. She'd told him to meet her there at three thirty. It was already ten after four. Some things just never changed. The door opened and the cold Chicago air blew in, right along with Victoria.

He almost didn't recognize her. Her long, wavy red hair was now pin straight and shoulder length. She was taller and her face seemed fuller. Her legs, wrapped tightly in black skinny jeans, seemed heavier.

She turned and looked around the café, spotting him sitting alone at a small table in the far back corner. Their eyes locked and she smiled slightly. He stood and held up a hand to wave, unsure. It had been so long. So much had happened to him since he last saw her. He was a different person now, and wasn't quite sure how to react to seeing her.

She skillfully picked her way through the crowd, turning every now and then to acknowledge with a smile when her name was called out by someone in the café who knew her. She unzipped her jacket and slid it off her shoulders before she reached him. She was thicker than he remembered, her slim, lithe dancers body now gone.

"Victoria," he leaned down, kissing her gently on the cheek when she'd reached the table.

"It's Tori now," she smiled as she corrected him.

"Uh…sorry, I didn't know," he waited until she was seated before sitting himself. It was what his grandfather had always taught him to do.

"That's ok. I couldn't expect you to," she flipped her straight red hair just like she'd always flipped her hair, with an air of superiority. Except that now, it bugged him for some reason. "I felt the need to simplify when we moved here. So," she clasped her hands together, leaning them on the table. "Eddie Cullen in the flesh."

"It's Edward now," he corrected, a smirk on his lips. Two could play this juvenile game. "I felt the need to change things up myself." Yep. Some things just never change.

She stared at him. "So you're looking good."

"I try," he smirked again. She was fishing for a compliment, and he wasn't biting. "You changed your hair," he remarked.

"Yeah. It's this Brazilian straightening thing. It's expensive but so worth it, don't you think?" She shook her head from side to side, making her hair swirl out around it.

"If you like that sort of thing," was his only comment. "Do you want something," he motioned to the counter.

"Sure. Um…I'll have a caramel macchiato, thanks."

Edward got up and went to stand at the back of the line, wondering what the hell he'd seen in her in the first place. She was pretentious and self absorbed, and they'd only been together for all of five minutes. He ordered and paid for their drinks and went to stand over to the side to wait and think.

Of course, all he could think about was Bella. Bella, who could never be accused of being pretentious or self absorbed. Bella whose only thoughts were of him and making him happy. Bella, the girl he belonged with.

He picked up their drinks when they were ready, and returned to the table.

"Miss me," she smirked as he placed her drink in front of her.

"Uh…sure," he sat down in his chair and stared into his cup.

"Whatcha get?" Her voice was playful and flirty.

He looked up at her. "Coffee."

"Just…just coffee?"

"Yeah. Just coffee. Black," he wrapped his frozen hands around the cup, hoping to warm up. He was so tired of being chilled to the bone and he'd only been in Chicago for a few days.

He took a sip and watched her fuss with her drink, sucking up the foam and caramel. He cleared his throat.

"So…we need to talk."

She slurped on her foam and nodded. "Yeah. I, um, I know you want to see him, but I wanted to talk to you first."

"Sure," Edward tried to sound casual. "About…"

"I want~" someone called to her and she broke off in mid sentence, turning with a bright smile and waving furiously. "Hi Bree!"

As if that were the signal, Bree came scampering over to their table, grabbing an empty chair from the table alongside them and sliding in next to Victoria. Edward closed his eyes, resting his head in his hand.

"Tori, you didn't tell me you were coming today! Who's the cutie," she nodded toward Edward. He couldn't help but notice how phony she sounded.

"Oh, this is an old friend from Seattle. Eddie Cullen."

"Edward," he held his hand out to Bree, who took it and giggled.

"So, was he a friend, or a _friend_," she drew out the second friend and giggled. Victoria raised her eyebrows and the two girls collapsed into a fit of giggles. When she'd stopped giggling enough to speak, Bree smiled at Edward and squealed "So _you're_ the one!"

"Excuse me," Edward looked at her, confused.

"You were Tori's first! You hold her v-card! Congrats," she leaned in and whispered loudy to Victoria. "I can see why you wanted to screw him so bad that you ran off with him! He's fuck hot! Hotter than most of the other guys you've been with!"

Edward stared at Bree, horrified, while Victoria sat there, giggling with her friend. In under a minute, Victoria and her friend had managed to destroy the memory of an event he had clutched so tightly to his heart for the last two years. Their time in Whistler meant nothing to her other than getting rid of her virginity. It hadn't been love at all for her. He'd been nothing more than a means to an end.

He shook his head, the color rose in his cheeks as he looked away from the giggling friends. Bree and Victoria sat there, huddled together while whispering about something, stealing glances at him. This was unbelievable. This was why she wanted to meet him at the café. So her friends could see the first guy she fucked, since apparently there had been others and these two compared notes. And it looked to him like they kept score. It was just sex to them. He'd just been sex to Victoria. She didn't look at it the same way he did. In his mind, he'd made love to her. In her mind, he'd just helped her get a little something something out of the way.

"So, did he do your mom too," he heard Bree giggle.

"Like, why would he do my _mom,_" Victoria snorted.

"Because your little brother looks just like him!"

Edward felt everything inside of him run cold as his fury was replaced with ice. _Her little brother._ They told everyone that Alec was Kate and Garrett's. Unable to put up with the repulsive conversation any longer, Edward stood up and zipped his jacket. He pulled his gloves out of his pocket and started pulling them on. He'd been used and manipulated. He was embarrassed and angry. He wanted to hit something, and he knew the wise choice was to leave before he did something else he would later regret.

"Eddie, what are you doing," Victoria stopped giggling with her friend and sat up straight, staring at him in shock.

"I told you, I prefer Edward and what does it look like I'm doing," he couldn't hide his annoyance, nor did he want to.

"You're leaving?"

"Yep. I didn't come here to be part of your fuck hit parade. I came here for one reason, and one reason alone," the anger rolled off of him in waves. "Thanks for wasting my time," he turned and stalked out of the café.

"Eddie~Edward, wait," she ran out into the Chicago cold after him, pulling her jacket on as she ran.

Edward ignored her calls, taking fast, purposeful strides down the street with his hands jammed into his pockets and a scowl on his face. He'd been used and manipulated by her two years ago, and she'd done the same thing to him this afternoon. She hadn't loved him at all, but she knew how to use his love for her to get what she wanted. The baby probably meant nothing to her. Of course, he'd have to tell Carlisle, and this would be where the lawyers would have to get involved.

"Edward, wait," she huffed and puffed, out of breath as she reached him. She grabbed his arm. "Edward stop!"

"What the hell do you want from me? Haven't you humiliated me enough for one lifetime," he spat at her, yanking his arm from her grasp as he continued to walk briskly down the street.

"Edward, please!"

He stopped, whirling around to face her. "I came here because I thought you wanted to discuss Alec. But no. This had nothing to do with that child and you know it, so don't even try to deny it. You wanted to show off to your friend! Let her see your first fuck," his face was red as his body shook with his anger. "And all this time, I'd thought you loved me the way I had loved you. That what happened in Whistler meant as much to you as it did to me. That maybe that baby meant something to you, too. But I can see you're nothing but a self centered, spoiled little bitch, just like everyone always said you were," he turned and continued down the street while she stood with her mouth open.

"Edward," she grabbed him again when she caught up with him. He shook her off of his arm.

"Don't fucking touch me, you fucking whore!"

"Eddie…" her hand fell from his arm, face reflecting the hurt in her voice.

He pulled out his cell phone.

"Eddie, please…please talk to me," she was begging now.

"Why? You got another stop we have to make so you can show me off? Maybe to more friends so they can see who gave you your first hickey? Or maybe you want to take me to your Mommy and Me class so you can parade your baby daddy around?" He scrolled through his contacts.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I did that to you. It wasn't my intent-"

"Bullshit. That was your only intention. You set me up, Victoria," he glared down at her. "Tell me…did you set me up with Alec too? Is he mine? Or does he belong to one of your other conquests?"

Her lips set in a grim line. "Ok, you're right. And you have a right to be angry. I did want you to come to the café so my friends could see you. But…but you are Alec's father, Eddie…Edward," she hung her head. "And I know you may not think this, especially the way I just acted, but I did love you," her voice grew soft. "Why do you think I couldn't get rid of him?"

Edward stopped scrolling through his phone and looked down at his feet. He couldn't look at her. All he could do was think of Bella and how he wished she were Alec's mother.

There was a long silence between them as they both looked at the icy pavement under their feet.

"Are we going to discuss him or not," his voice was soft.

"If you still want to," she kept looking down at her feet, embarrassed by what she'd put him through in the café, but more embarrassed that he'd caught on to the real reason she'd asked him to meet her in the first place.

"That's the only reason I agreed to meet you," he couldn't look at her, because looking at her made him sick to his stomach. The ideal that he'd elevated her to in his mind for all this time, the _thought_ of how she was…it was all a lie. A lie he'd told himself.

"There's a diner across the street. No one from school goes there. We can sit there and talk," she pointed across the street to an old shiny chrome diner.

He nodded and started to cross the busy street, not waiting for her.

They sat across from one another in a quiet booth in the back. The awkward silence made Edward fidget. He still couldn't bring himself to look at her, instead staring down at the table.

"Um…so…you want to see him?"

"Yeah," he whispered softly as he nodded.

"Um…I'll have to ask my mom when it's ok for you to come over, then."

"Sure."

"You're not going to try to take him from me, are you?"

This made Edward looked up at her, brow furrowed. "Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. My mom…my mom made us leave Seattle because she thought your mom would want to take him from us, the way she collected kids and all. And we can't afford to fight your family. You're just too rich," she looked like she was getting ready to cry.

"We wouldn't do that," he said quietly as he shook his head. "I just want what any father would want. I want visitations with him. I want him to know that he's mine." Although he heard the words falling softly from his lips, he couldn't believe he was speaking them.

"Sure," she nodded. "That sounds fair."

"I'll send you money every month," he was looking down at the table again, fiddling with the silverware that sat on the stiff paper napkin.

"You don't have to."

"I want to. He's mine. I should help support him," he nodded, biting his lower lip. This was murder.

"Um…ok then."

"My father will have his attorney draw up the papers," he sighed. "Of course you can bring them to your lawyer before you sign them. We're not trying to take him from you or pull any fast ones," he sighed. "We just want…" he sighed again. "We just want to be part of his life too."

"Sure, sure. I understand."

The waitress came to take their order.

"I'll just have a Diet Coke," Victoria didn't smile.

"Coffee, please," Edward still didn't look up.

"So, how long are you staying in Chicago?"

"As long as I have to."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Yeah...I have no idea what Edward saw in her either ;)**

**Once again, thanks to everyone who's stuck with my little story. Thank you for reading and reviewing and sharing! I do appreciate it! :D**

**I will warn you ahead of time that the next update may be delayed (again). I'll be out of town this weekend and Labor Day weekend. I'm hoping to get something up before Labor Day, actually, and since Mr. Man is out of the picture for 3 weeks (yay for extended trips!) I won't have him infuriating me. So, fingers crossed that I can come up with a quality chapter before I go on my own vacation!**

**Again, thank you all for reading! As always, if you like it, please click that little review button and let me know! And if you really like it, tell your friends about it. Don't be afraid to get your friends as addicted to fanfic as you are...I know I'm not...Right, KK? :P**


	27. Chapter 27: Rockaway Beach

**I know, I know...FINALLY! Once more, real life has been kicking my butt! My muse has escaped me, and my man's been away. I need this long weekend LOL**

**Thanks to everyone who's reading this little story of mine. It never ceases to amaze me that people are still reading and still enjoying it. I have to admit...I'm enjoying this little ride too. Still no idea where Edward is taking us though... *wink***

**A little bit of business before we continue on: the disclaimer: Twilight, it's characters and it's situations do not belong to me. They are the property of the very lucky Stephenie Meyer. **

**Please enjoy this chapter...I hope it was worth the wait...please be kind, because, you know...my muse has escaped and my man's sunning himself on a rock while I sit here under cloud cover ;)**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Chapter 27: Rockaway Beach**

She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. Her arms…her feet…her back…they all ached. And she was hungry. She tried to stretch her back as she shuffled her screaming feet, packages shifting precariously.

Why Bella had ever agreed to go Christmas shopping in Port Angeles with Alice Cullen, well, she couldn't figure that out herself. Maybe it was because Alice's enthusiasm for the season was simply infectious. Maybe it was because being around Alice always made her feel better. But, mostly, she knew she was here with her because being with Alice made her feel connected to Edward in some odd, second hand way.

"I'm not sure," Alice looked at herself in the mirror, modeling the sleek black satin cocktail dress. "You think this is too much for Stanley's party?"

Bella eyed the classy strapless number. How she envied Alice her small, slight figure. Bella had curves. Hell, if she was being honest with herself, her curves had curves…and Edward's hands had loved caressing every last curve she had almost as much as her curves appreciated his attention to their details.

"I don't know. What did you wear last year?"

"I wasn't invited last year," Alice sighed and frowned. "I'm only invited this year because of you."

"But you came to her Halloween party," Bella protested.

"I _asked_ to go to that party, Bella. You know that."

"Oh, that's right," it was Bella's turn to frown. "I'd forgotten…" her voice trailed off as she thought back to Halloween night. She and Edward had been so happy that night, but that was also the night the rest of the Cullen's had been in that horrible car crash coming home from Port Angeles. She looked at Alice. Watching her scurry around the way she'd been the last couple of weeks, it was hard to believe she'd been injured at all, except for the fact that she moved a little more slowly and bounced a little less. Jasper was still going through physical therapy, and still didn't have full use of his shoulder back. She didn't know what was up with Rose or Emmett at this point, although Rose was still moving slowly at school, but just as bitchy as ever.

"So," Alice stood primly in front of her. "What do you think?"

"I like it," Bella nodded. She couldn't do much else but nod. Her arms were laden down with all of the bags from their shopping spree. Alice had a brand new family member to

include on her Christmas list now.

"I think I'm going to get it," Alice smiled. Bella knew that the old Alice Cullen would have been bouncing up and down with excitement. The new, more subdued Alice stood still in front of the three way mirror, watching her reflection with caution.

"What are you wearing, Bella?"

"Me? Oh, I have a leather skirt I can throw on."

"Well, that's not very festive," her tiny hands made their way to her non-existent hips.

"You want festive? Look at my hair. _That's_ festive," she shook her head as if Alice couldn't notice the red and green stripes accenting her dark, straight hair.

"You need some sparkle," Alice closed the curtain to her dressing room. "You need some glitter or something."

"I can put some glitter in my hair Friday night if you want," Bella rolled her eyes.

"What are you wearing with the leather skirt? Is it black?"

"Yeah, it's black."

"Do you have some lace stockings or maybe fishnets? You're not wearing those damn red and green striped elf tights, are you? You look like you work at the North Pole in those stupid things!"

"I have fishnets," Bella shifted her weight on her aching feet and rolled her eyes.

"Anything glittery to wear on top?" Bella could hear the smaller girl shimmying out of the satin dress. "Something festive?"

"I don't own anything glittery or festive, Alice, except for those tights that you hate."

"You will after today."

"No, I won't."

"You will. And you won't argue with me, because you know you'll lose."

Bella sighed. "I know."

"I saw some nice tops over there before."

"Over where?"

"Over there. Stompfmofockingmfe."

"Alice, stop talking while you're pulling your turtleneck over your head," Bella shook her head, stifling a laugh.

"I said," Alice pulled the curtain to her dressing room open. "Stop mocking me."

"I'm not mocking you. I'm making fun of you," Bella smirked as Alice took a few shopping bags off her hands.

"Thank you," Bella flexed her left hand.

"Not a problem. Let me go pay for this and we'll double back. I saw an adorable top for you."

"Seriously, Alice. I'm fine," Bella limped along behind Alice. She might have slowed down some, but she was still much quicker than Bella right now.

"Fine?" Alice whirled around and faced her. "You're wearing a black leather mini skirt to a _holiday_ party. What are you going to wear on top? That black halter top?"

Bella nodded. "That was the plan."

"Well, that plan's been scrapped. You're wearing one of two tops I noticed," she held her hand up. "And I'm not arguing about it."

Bella knew she was beat. There was no talking to Alice when she was like this. Her mind was made up and Bella had no choice. Whichever top Alice decided she liked best on her was the top she'd have to wear. Otherwise there would be no living with the tiny Cullen.

Alice paid for her dress, adding yet another package that needed to be lugged around the small mall in Port Angeles with them.

She yanked a tiny black sequined tank top from the rack.

"I think this is perfect!"

"Um, it's sleeveless," Bella protested.

"Of course it is. It's sleeveless and slinky and sexy!"

"I don't do sleeveless," she shook her head.

"Oh, but you do backless?"

"That's different. Show me the other top you saw."

"It was this one," Alice pulled a black bustier encrusted with clear sequins from a rack.

"I don't know…." She knew darn well that had Edward still been around, she wouldn't hesitate to wear the bustier. Anything to get his hands all over her. But now…now things were different.

"Try them both on. I'll choose the one I like best," Alice pushed her back in the direction of the fitting rooms. "What shoes are you wearing?"

"I was going to wear the boots," Bella dropped her packages to the floor outside the dressing room before closing the curtain. "And stay out there, Alice," she wouldn't put it past the little pixie to just barge in and grab her boobs again.

"Oh, those boots are perfect for either top! With the fishnets," she called as she started searching through the bags. "Hey, Bells, do you know where I put those little socks I picked up for Alec? I want to see if they go with these coveralls."

"Stay out of my bags, you nosey little viper!"

"Ok, ok! Jeesh! I wasn't snooping! I was just looking for the damn socks!"

Bella pulled the curtain open. The bustier sparkled on her.

"Where's the tank top?"

"It was too short. Half my stomach showed," she walked out of the little room and stood in front of the three way mirror.

"That was the point," Alice stood with her hands on her hips as she surveyed the new top on Bella. It wasn't hard to picture how it would look on her with the black leather mini, since she was wearing a denim mini with it now.

"What do you think," Bella turned around and looked over her shoulder, trying to see how she looked from the back.

"I think it looks fabulous on you. I mean, your boobs look great!"

"Alice," Bella shook her head "You have a serious case of boob envy, don't you?"

Alice smiled and blushed. "Maybe. But you do look stunning. You're going to be the Bella of the ball."

"Thanks," Bella rolled her eyes. "Ok, I'll get it. Happy now?" She slid the curtain closed and pulled the tight top off, quickly pulling her bra and long sleeved shirt back on. She had no idea how she'd make it through Jessica's party without freezing her boobs right off.

She pulled the curtain open, picking up her dropped bags. "Can we go get some lunch now? I feel like I'm going to pass out."

"Sure. Goff's has a café," Alice offered.

"Yes, located on the second floor Mezzanine level," Bella rolled her eyes. It was impossible to walk into Goff's without knowing this.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Edward held tightly to the bronze haired toddler wriggling on his lap. This was all still new to him, but he was starting to get used to it.

Alec turned around and smiled at him, his green eyes bright with delight.

Edward's heart melted a little.

"So, when's your mom coming out," Victoria took a huge bite out of her burger.

"Tomorrow. Dad has to get back to the hospital."

They sat together at a table in the food court of a huge mall in downtown Chicago, having taken Alec to have his picture taken with Santa Clause. It hadn't been nearly as daunting of an undertaking as Edward had first thought it would be. And his son seemed to be as taken with his daddy as his daddy was with him. There was only one thing missing from his life now, and that was something he planned on fixing before the year was out.

In the nearly two weeks that had passed since their harsh encounter at the café, Edward and Victoria had managed to put their personal differences aside and work on being civil for the sake of their son. It seemed to be working.

Alec was a delightful child, he'd found. Very sweet and very happy. And he'd positively enchanted Carlisle. Perhaps he was a little spoiled, but even Edward and Carlisle wanted to over indulge the adorable little thing when those emerald eyes sparkled up at them.

Edward spooned out some strawberry yogurt and held it up to the child's pouty pink lips, which opened automatically.

"He's a good eater," Victoria offered.

"He is. He's eyeing our burgers though," he smiled.

"Like I said, he's a good eater," she laughed this time, holding her container of french fries out to Alec, who's smile got impossibly brighter as he slid one out, holding it between his chubby fingers as he began to chew on it.

"That'll be it for the yogurt now," Edward smiled, putting the spoon down and wrapping his arms tightly around the boy.

"You were so good with Santa," Victoria smiled, talking to the child in a light, sing songy voice that, if he were being honest with himself, made Edward a little nauseas. He picked up his burger, taking a bite. Alec's big green eyes were on the prize as it made it's way to his father's mouth. Edward held the burger to his son's small mouth and the boy took a tiny bite. Edward and Victoria laughed.

"Would you mind keeping him for a little bit so I can do some shopping?"

The request startled Edward. While he'd spent as much time as possible around his newly discovered son, he'd yet to be alone with the boy.

It had become clear to him that his first impressions had been wrong. Yes, Victoria was still as self absorbed as ever. Yes, her school friends thought Alec was her little brother. And yes, she had set him up at the café, which was still a point of contention between them, making Edward question her motives, even with a simple request to mind their child while she shopped.

But, at home, things were quite a different story. Once she was home from school, and her homework done, Victoria was expected to be the mother. It was her job, her responsibility to feed and bathe and take care of Alec. She was the person who attended to his needs, under the ever watchful eye of Kate, of course. And the child was well taken care of and well loved on all fronts, he'd realized. A long heart to heart with Garrett had assured both Edward and his father that the same mistakes made with Victoria, the mistakes that turned her into the spoiled brat that she was, would not be repeated with Alec. Of course, with the Cullen's now involved in the child's life, definite ground rules had to be set and were set.

And Edward couldn't wait for his mother to arrive.

"Um…sure. I can wheel him around in the carriage if he gets restless."

"Thanks, Eddie," Victoria wiped her greasy mouth with her napkin. "It's…it's hard, you know," she sighed then smiled sadly at him. "You may find yourself wishing you'd never found out," her hand reached out and brushed the wild bronze hair that fell over Alec's pale forehead. "Just like his daddy," she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

He stared at her, his own green eyes wide. "I don't think it could ever be so hard that I'd wish I never found out," Alec took another small bite from Edward's hamburger, his little hands holding tightly onto the hand Edward held the burger with. Edward looked up at Victoria, eyes hard. "Why? Do you regret having him?"

She shook her head. "Never. Just sometimes, I wish things were different."

"How?"

"I wish I didn't have to juggle school and him. I mean, I can't be a normal high school student anymore. I have to plan ahead to do stuff. Like, there's a party Friday night that I'm going to. I had to book my sitter the day I found out about it. Can't do anything impulsive anymore."

"A sitter," Edward shook his head. "No, no sitters. My mom will be here. We'll take him that night."

"No, it's not really a sitter," she stood up, slipping her purse over her shoulder. "It's my mom. It's just that, when I want to do something when I'm supposed to be keeping him, I have to make arrangements with my mom. I have to 'book' her for the night, ahead of time. Just like she had to do with sitters when I was a baby," she smirked. "To teach me responsibility." Her eyes rolled.

"Oh, I get it," Edward nodded. "If it's too much, though, I can still take him. He can stay at our house for the night. My mom would love to have him."

"It's ok. We've made our arrangement," she rolled her eyes. "Hey, why don't you come with me? It's going to be a wild night," the smile was back.

He studied her face for a moment. "I don't think that'd be a good idea," he shook his head. "I don't do wild very well."

"Oh, you always did wild good," she laughed. "And this party's special. The guy who's throwing it? He's, like, the most popular guy in school! And he finally actually invited us! No more crashing!"

Edward rolled his eyes to himself. This was a "Like, Oh My God! We're like, totally invited to like, the biggest party of the year!" John Hughes moment if ever there was one.

"I'll pass, thanks. I'm not in that school, so it's nothing to me, really. Go and have a good time."

"Oh, but you can meet my friends!"

"I already met your friends, thanks," he snorted, holding a juice box for Alec to sip from, the thirsty baby's hands once again clamped tightly around his.

"You only met Bree," she protested, "And she really didn't make the best impression. You'll love them all. You can meet my boyfriend Demitri and Bree's boyfriend Riley. You'll have fun, I promise."

Edward remained non-committal. "I'll think about it."

"You haven't hung out with anyone but Dr. Cullen and that old guy who drives the car for you," she kept going. "You can get out with other kids your own age and be young for a night, Eddie," she raised her eyebrows at him as she turned to go.

"Like I said, I'll think about it."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"So…my mom…flies out…to Chicago…tomorrow," Alice talked between chews on the giant mouthful of her turkey club sandwich before swallowing. "And Dad flies back. They plan to meet in the middle of O'Hare, have a kiss and go their own ways," she giggled.

"Your mom's going out now," Bella tossed her salad around in it's bowl, suddenly losing her appetite.

"Yeah. Dad has some patients he can't put off any longer. And, well, you know my mom. She's dying to get to that baby."

"I bet," Bella shoved a fork full of lettuce into her mouth, and chewed slowly.

"I heard Mom talking to Dad on the phone last night. She was discussing Christmas," Alice's gaze avoided Bella's eyes.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. There's a chance we may all just fly out to Chicago, you know," Alice spoke quietly, knowing how much this news had to be killing her friend inside.

"Um," Bella speared a cherry tomato with her fork, wishing it were Victoria's head she was spearing instead. "That's really good, Alice. You'll all have fun, I'm sure."

"Yeah. I have so much wrapping to do though!"

"I bet."

An uneasy silence fell between them, until Alice answered the unspoken question.

"He asks for you every night, Bella. When he calls."

"Does he," it was a statement. Her heart pounded in her chest as her pulse quickened. But she wouldn't allow herself to betray her feelings. Not even to Alice. Especially not to Alice.

"Yeah. I told you he still loves you," her voice soft.

"Alice, I love you," Bella put her fork down, appetite now lost. "But…I can't do this. I can't talk about Edward like he didn't just rip my heart out and leave a giant, gaping hole in its place."

"I'm sorry," Alice looked down.

"I know you didn't mean anything by it," she took a deep breath. "And I know you sincerely believe that your brother and I will be together, but…but I know better, Alice. I know we won't. I mean, I don't care if he's got ten kids out there. I loved him with all of my heart. But he just didn't love me enough back. I…I deserve better," she hadn't realized that tears were falling from her eyes until she felt them hit the back of her hands, calmly placed on the table in front of her. She looked across the table at Alice. "I deserve to be loved back as much as I love."

Big tears started to run down Alice's cheeks. "He will, Bella. He will. You'll see."

Bella shook her head. "As much as I would love to believe you, he's never done anything to prove that, Alice," she sighed. "And I can't put my life on hold hoping that one day, he'll wake up and just like that, get it," she snapped her fingers. "Life doesn't work like that. Life's not a Sandra Bullock movie. Hell, Sandra Bullock's life isn't even a Sandra Bullock movie!"

Alice stared at her friend with tear filled eyes. Bella reached across the table and took her hand.

"Don't cry, Alice," her voice was low. "It's just…well…some things," she squinted her eyes closed, trying to think hard how to say words that she didn't want to hear herself. "…some things just aren't meant to be."

"But…but it is! It _is_ meant to be! You'll see!"

"I don't want to argue with you, Alice," she patted the tiny girls hand gently. "So, let's just end this conversation right here, agreeing to disagree, ok?"

Alice nodded, sniffling as she did. She pulled her napkin from her lap and wiped her tear stained cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Subject closed, Alice. Let's talk about something else," she started to pick at her salad again, having no real inclination to eat it.

"Ok," Alice picked at her French fries. "Um…are we going to go to the party together?"

"I don't know. Judging by how you drove here today, I don't know if I want to be in the same car with you," Bella smirked.

And just like that, the tension between the two friends was cut.

Alice dropped Bella off at her house. It was dark and the outdoor light was on, illuminating the wet path. Charlie's cruiser was pulled behind Bella's old red truck in the driveway.

Bella gathered her bags from the trunk of Esme's new BMW. She hadn't purchased nearly as much as Alice had, but she still had an armful.

"Hey Alice," she peeked into the car before shutting the door.

"Yeah?"

"First off, I'm sorry," her voice was soft. "Secondly, if I gave you something to bring with you to…" her voice trailed off as she took a deep breath. "To Chicago…" she managed to breathe out. "If…if you go…would you…"

"Of course I'll give it to him, Bella," Alice whispered back, smiling to herself. Bella nodded silently and shut the door, picking her way up the path carefully.

"Have fun shopping," Charlie called from the sofa, television blaring in front of him. Ice hockey was the order of the night.

"You aren't allowed not to have fun while shopping with Alice Cullen, Charlie. You are on a mission, and the mission is above all else, " Bella dropped her bags onto the floor next to the sofa and flopped down. "Good sweet Christ my feet are killing me!"

"Walked your butt off, did she?"

"Yes, Yoda," Bella unlaced her Doc's and pulled her hot, aching feet from the boots. "We had to have walked that entire mall at least four times. If she ever calls here again to go shopping, tell her my feet fell off in a hideous pre-Christmas mall disaster."

Charlie laughed. "She's got stamina, I give her that much. I guess she had some good physical therapy."

"I think _this_ was her physical therapy," Bella rolled her eyes. "And now I need therapy from her therapy," she put her stockinged feet up on the coffee table in front of her, wiggling her toes. "I swear I can see steam coming up from my toes."

Charlie laughed. "Well, it looks like it was a worthwhile trip," he nodded toward the bags on the floor. "Did you get everything done?"

"Almost," she sighed. "I just have a couple of things I need to get for you, but it's no biggie."

"Oh yeah," the ends of Charlie's dark moustache twitched up into a little smirk. "What you getting me?"

"None of your business, Charlie Swan!"

"I'll tell you what you're getting if you tell me," his smirk grew.

"No. It's supposed to be a surprise and you're supposed to be the adult here," she laughed throatily. Truth be told, her happiest times these days were when she was like this with her father, their easy banter brightening up even her darkest days.

"If I'm the adult, then I make the rules," he was laughing now. "New rule is no surprises."

"Bite me," she hopped off the sofa and grabbed her bags. "I'm going upstairs to take a shower, get some sleep and hide these gifts," she laughed as she headed toward the stairs. "But not in that order." Charlie heard her slowly making her way upstairs. "And if Alice calls, tell her my feet ran away," she called down after her.

Bella closed the door to her bedroom, and began going through her purchases. She pulled out two new plaid flannel shirts for Charlie. They were on sale, which is why he was getting two. She put them each in a gift box, covering them with the tissue paper that Goff's gift wrap department had provided. A delicate pair of sparkling silver dangle earrings that she'd noticed Alice admiring sat in a tiny silver cardboard box that was lined with puffy white cotton. Alice said Jasper needed a new scarf, so that was what he would get. Black and gray plaid, because black went with everything and scarves were supposed to be plaid, right?

She had decided that she wanted to get something for Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, because they had always been so nice to her. She pulled two thin boxes from a bag from the Hallmark store, opening one. A small, soft blue enamel oval picture frame slid from it, a tiny silver crown decorating the top. There was no need to explain it. She knew that both Esme and Carlisle would know. Confident that the frame wasn't damaged, she slid it back into it's little box, setting it aside.

Her hands started to shake when she picked up the second, slightly larger box. She slid a plain, silver frame from the box. It was a simple frame, shining silver with delicate silver beading around the edge. Silently, she slid her desk drawer open and pulled out a spiral daily agenda book. Opening the cover up, she picked up one of the two identical photos that lay just inside. She sighed, looking at the photo in her hand, its twin remaining in the agenda as she closed the book and slid the drawer shut.

Gently she opened the black velvet back of the frame, dropping the photograph in. A perfect fit. She smiled sadly as she closed the back and turned the frame over, staring at it. Edward and his son smiled back at her, their heads so close together that she couldn't tell where Edward's hair ended and Alec's began. Identical emerald eyes glinted happily at her as their matching crooked smiles told her how happy they were. She closed her eyes, steadying her breathing, quickly pushing the frame back into its box. She stuffed it back in the bag she had pulled it from, along with the frame for Esme and Carlisle. She opened her closet door and placed all of her purchases in the back corner, away from Charlie's prying eyes before heading into the bathroom to shower off the emotion of the day.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"Hello, darling," Carlisle's arms wrapped around Esme, drawing her tightly to himself.

She dropped her carry on down on the floor next to her and slid her arms up around his neck.

Edward watched quietly as his parents shared a slow, passionate kiss. There were no tongues, no saliva, no groping and no moans involved. Instead, it was simply lips, sliding together. Eyes closed, bodies locked together in an embrace. In that moment, they were the only two people in the vast, crowded airport terminal.

He felt a twinge of jealousy. That should be him. With Bella. But he knew that, the way things were now, that would never happen for him.

Esme pulled back from her husband and smiled up at him. "I missed you," she breathed.

"I missed you too," he grinned back. "I better run so I can catch my flight," he pecked her lips once more. "I love you."

"I love you too, dear," she ran her fingers down his cheek and he closed his eyes for a brief moment. "Safe flight."

Carlisle nodded before disappearing into the throng of O'Hare travelers.

"Edward," Esme turned toward her son, arms open.

"Mom," he fell into her embrace, burying his face into her neck. He breathed her in deeply. Chanel Number 5 and love.

"How is my sweet, beautiful boy?"

He nodded silently, not wanting to break their embrace. He was in his mother's arms now, the place where, night after night since this nightmare had begun, he'd wished to be.

Esme pulled him from her arms, holding him by the shoulders out in front of her. Her eyes searched his face and he could feel the tears begin to sting his eyes. He broke from her hold, looking away, not wanting to cry in the middle of O'Hare.

"I'm good, Mom. Dad and Jenks took good care of me," he didn't look at her, opting instead to pick up her carry on. "Let's go pick up your suitcase, ok?"

"How is Mr. Jenks," she matched him stride for stride as they moved through the terminal as swiftly as the crowd would let them.

"Jenks is…well, he's amazing. So is Mrs. Jenks."

"You met Tanya?"

"You know her," he looked at her with surprise.

"Of course I know her, Edward," she giggled. It was girlish and sweet and it was one of the many things he adored about his mother.

"You know, you and Dad have a lot of explaining to do," he laughed as they reached the baggage claim. Suitcases of all shapes and sizes were riding past them on a conveyor belt. He easily spotted his mother's Louis Vuitton rolling case and snatched the heavy luggage from the belt with a grunt.

"Jesus, Mom. What the hell do you have in here?"

"The suitcase itself is heavy, Edward." She took the case from him, pulling the handle up from its hiding place and rolled it behind her as they walked toward the terminal doors.

"Jenks is waiting for us," he informed her. This was one of the good things about having a faithful butler. You didn't have to self park at the airport. Or anywhere really. Jenks was always there, ready to help in any way. And while Edward hated to let the much older man lift or carry anything for him, he did appreciate him bringing the car around for him, especially in the icy cold conditions that they now lived in.

The inside of the Mercedes was warm, but Edward snuggled in close to his mother as they sat in the back seat anyway. Esme wrapped her arms around her son and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Miss me?"

"Oh yeah," he nodded. Everything probably would have been so much easier had his mother's arms been available to hold him every time he'd needed holding.

"I missed you too, my sweet boy," she kissed the top of his head. "You need a haircut."

"I'm fine, Mom," he sighed.

"Still, I want you to get your hair cut before Christmas. Jenks, can you please make those arrangements?"

"Of course, Madam," Jenks didn't turn to look at her.

"Thank you, sir," she nodded, a smug smile on her face.

"Oh man, Jenks, you're supposed to be on my side," Edward laughed.

"I am on your side, young Master Edward," the butler's cultured tones held a smile. "I want you to look human, sir."

Edward rolled his eyes. "I'll remember this, Jenks."

"I am most certain you will, sir."

They fell into a comfortable silence, Edward's head resting on his mother's shoulder while her fingers danced through his messy bronze hair.

"So?" Esme finally broke the silence and Edward sighed heavily.

"So…I'm someone's father."

"And?"

"And…he's beautiful. Perfect. Amazing and so much more," he sounded like he felt: breathless.

"But?"

"But…" he shifted, sitting up and leaning back into the soft seat. "But I'm not in love with his mother," he sighed as he leaned his head back.

"And?"

"And I'm scared shitless, Mom," his voice was low with emotion.

"Have you explored Grandfather's rooms yet?" Esme cut a delicate piece of her steak, sliding it into her mouth in a delicate manner.

They'd arrived home from the airport late, having encountered Chicago's rush hour traffic on the way, and opted for a quite dinner in, with Jenks and his wife joining them at the cozy kitchen table. Everyone had helped with the dinner preparations, with Esme making mashed potatoes and Edward helping Tanya Jenks set the table.

"A little," Edward took a sip of water, swallowing hard. "It's been…weird. It's like, all this stuff I remember, but I didn't remember it until I got here."

She nodded. "You were quite young when you came to live with us. It's natural that you'd forget some things."

"More mashed potato's Edward?" Tanya held her hand out for Edward's plate.

"Please," he handed it to her, minding his manners.

"Your grandfather's rooms were largely left as they were when he passed away," Jenks wiped his mouth with his crisp, cloth napkin.

"I noticed. He had so many papers and books," Edward sighed. "It's just…it's…it's a lot to digest, you know?"

"Of course it is, dear. That's why I'm here now," Esme sipped her wine. "Did you get in touch with Victoria?"

Edward nodded. "Yeah. She was going to talk to her mom."

"Good," Esme smiled. "I can't wait to meet my beautiful grandson!"

Edward swallowed hard. Grandson. A shiver went through him, as though he suddenly realized how very real this all was.

"And you're keeping up with the schoolwork that Alice has been sending you," Esme switched topics as effortlessly as ever.

"Yep. I've been doing my best. Emailing teachers and stuff. I'm missing biology lab stuff though," he sighed at the thought of biology lab and his lab partner.

"You'll make it up, dear," Esme patted his cheek. "You were always such a smart boy. That's why the school is ok with allowing you to do independent study for now."

He nodded mutely. He suddenly missed Forks, and Forks High School terribly. He even missed gym class.

His cell phone rang and he pulled it from his pocket.

"It's Victoria," he murmured as he answered. "Hey…uh huh…um…yeah, I guess that's good. Hang on," he pulled the phone from his ear. "Mom, is lunch tomorrow good?"

Esme's eyes lit up. "Lunch? I believe that's fine, Edward. Jenks," she looked at the older gentleman. "Is lunch tomorrow doable?"

"Of course, Mrs. Cullen. Are there any particular requests for the menu?"

"Edward?" She looked at her son.

He brought the phone back to his ear. "Um, yeah, lunch tomorrow is good. Do you want anything in particular...For Alec? Or your mom...Uh huh...Oh, you'll be in school? I forgot," but Esme could see the relief wash over her son's face. "Ok…Yeah, I don't think that'll be a problem...yep. Ok, well, then we'll see them tomorrow at noon…no…no I haven't decided about Friday night. No…yeah…I'll let you know. Night." And he ended the call.

He shook his head a little bit, blinking twice before looking at his mother. "Kate will be here with the baby at noon. She says he eats most everything, but I know he's kind of partial to noodles, so," he looked at Jenks. "If that's not too hard, can we do some noodles for him?"

"Of course, Master Edward," the older man nodded.

"We will take care of Alec, Edward," Tanya smiled at him. "You know that."

"Good," he let out a shaky breath, nodding his head. "Thanks. And I guess…I don't really know what to serve to Kate for lunch," his brow furrowed. This was all so new, so over his head. He suddenly felt like he was sinking, until his mother took his trembling hand in her own warm, soft one, buoying him up.

"I'll take care of that with Jenks, Edward," she leaned over and kissed his forehead. "What's Friday night?"

"Oh," he shook his head. "Some big party Victoria and her friends are going to. She wants me to go with them."

"Oh, that sounds like fun, sweetheart. Why don't you go?"

He looked at his mother with wide eyes. "After the stunt she pulled with her friend that day in the café?"

"You two seem to have mended your fences, Edward. Besides, you need to get along with her, and it has nothing to do with you. It does, however have everything to do with that child," Esme's voice was soft but firm.

"Yeah, well, I'd walk through fire for Alec. But I draw the line at suffering through another exhibition like that one," he pulled his napkin from his lap and wiped his mouth with it.

Esme reached out and cupped his chin in her hand, turning him to face her. "Promise me you'll think about going, Edward? It's the holidays and you need a little bit of fun," she smiled sadly at him. "Everything's just been so serious lately."

He studied her face. She was so beautiful, his mother. He loved her more than he could ever express. Esme saved him. How could he deny her even the easiest thing to deny? So he nodded. "Ok, I'll think about it, Mom."

"That's my boy," she brushed her fingers through the wayward hair hanging over his forehead as she smiled at him. "Why don't you go finish up your school work now, darling?"

He nodded, smiling sheepishly at the three adults remaining in the kitchen before he got up and went up to his bedroom. He owed Alice a few emails…and a few favors.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Ok, there it is...a mostly transitional chapter, which is, for me, the hardest to write. I think things are going to be moving a bit more swiftly from this point out, both within the story and with my updates. At least I hope they are. Mr Man returns next week, and even though I've lost my muse, he might be enough to inspire me...or not...our relationship's like that, you see LOL**

**Then again, I have 2 other stories in process, plus an idea for another...yeah, I know...but you know, sometimes you just _have_ to get that story out! I hope to begin posting one of them once BIAPR wraps up :)**

**As always, thanks again to everyone who's reading. Please let me know what you think! I do appreciate your comments! **

**And, if you really like it, please pass the link along to your friends =D**

**Hope everyone has a happy and safe Labor Day :D**


	28. Chapter 28: Indian Giver

**Well...here it is. FINALLY! I am sorry that this chapter took so long to get up. Between real life kicking my butt (nothing like going to a party at Mr. Man's house and having "The Ex" randomly show up, stand next to him like she's his bodyguard, and glare at you for an hour to put you in a sour mood for a few days *insert epic eye roll here*), a writing contest I entered and other assorted issues I had to deal with, the writing, well...it just wasn't happening there for a while. **

**But now, it's up, and I sincerely do hope this was worth the wait.**

**I'd like to thank everyone who's reading this. You really do encourage me. Maybe my writing's not as bad as I think it is LOL**

**Anyway, let's get down to business so you can get down to the business of reading this chapter.**

**Twilight, its characters and its situations, do not belong to me. They are the property of Stephenie Meyer, who, unlike me, probably doesn't get glared at by a bottle blonde with a chip on her shoulder while she's chewing on some tasty crusty bread from Brooklyn. **

**Please enjoy~**

**Chapter 28: Indian Giver**

"So, when Billy called, I realized that it'd been a while since we'd all been together and it would be nice if he and Jake came by and had dinner with us tonight and then we all could watch the game together," Charlie explained calmly.

"Didn't you stop to think, oh, I don't know…that, maybe, say…you should have let me know? Dammit, Charlie! I plan our meals in advance. You know this! You know Tuesday is leftovers from Monday," Bella slammed the refrigerator door closed, and yanked the freezer door open angrily. "And all your frigging fish is frozen frigging solid." She pulled a zip lock bag stuffed with stiff white filets out and banged it on the counter for full visual effect.

"I said I'd order pizza's, Bells. No biggie," Charlie's tone was apologetic. "And I'll make sure to get a plain cheese just for you."

"And exactly how many of your cavemen friends are going to be here," her voice was angry now. "Billy? Harry? You know none of them ever comes over alone. Is Jake going to be coming with a cooler filled with his 'firewater'?"

Charlie shuffled his feet and looked up at the ceiling, thinking as he did, that he really needed to repaint the kitchen soon.

"I bet they'll all drive down here in that hideous mini van from the eighties that Sam Uley owns. The purple one that looks like a giant deformed grape," she spat.

Bella tossed the slab of rock hard fish back into the freezer and slammed the door shut. She leaned against the counter and hid her face in her hands, taking deep breaths.

Charlie stood with his hands in his pockets, looking down at the worn kitchen linoleum, feeling bad. He waited for his daughter as she fought to regain her composure, and noted absently as he did that the kitchen floor really could use replacing. In fact, the whole kitchen was could stand to be replaced. Everything in it, himself included, was old. He didn't even think they still made avocado green refrigerators any more. Maybe he would let Bella spearhead a whole kitchen renovation during the summer. Top to bottom. Everything shiny and new. Everything just the way she wanted it.

Bella finally pulled her hands away from her face, but kept her eyes lowered as she looked somberly at the floor, not seeing what her father had seen as he'd stared at it.

"It's not Billy or the pizza…is it," Charlie finally broke the silence, unable to take it anymore.

She didn't look up at him as she shook her head.

Charlie sighed, moving slowly over to her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. Bella buried her face in his uniform shirt. It smelled like Old Spice and Charlie and it comforted her.

"I know it's trite, but, Bells, if it's meant to be, it'll be," his voice was soft.

She sniffled and looked up at him, eyes red. "I know, but…"

"But it's Christmas and there's a party and presents and happiness to be had," he smiled sadly. "And you're missing one vital piece of your happy puzzle, right?"

"I know you understand what I'm going through," she sighed, making no move to leave the comfort of her father's embrace.

"I do," he sighed. "I don't know if anyone ever told you, but your mom left me two days before Christmas. She took you with her," he slid his hands from her back to her shoulders, rubbing them gently. "And she left all of the gifts that I had gotten for you behind," his brow furrowed at the unpleasant memory. "I don't know how long I let those presents sit under that tree before I realized she wasn't coming back for them," he sighed. "I do remember, however, that the tree was nothing but brown needles when I finally took it down. Naturally, it was bare by the time I got it out the door. And there were buds on the trees outside."

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

He smiled at her. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You were only a year old, Bells."

"I know. But I'm sorry you had to go through that, Dad."

Charlie's eyes widened. "Did you just call me Dad?"

She nodded, smiling sadly. "Yeah, I did."

The ends of his moustache twitched up. "To what do I owe this Christmas miracle?"

"Well," she looked up at him, smiling slightly at his joke. "You're my dad. I should call you Dad, shouldn't I?"

"You used to say I had to 'earn' the title of Dad."

"I think that you have more than earned that coveted title these last few weeks, Dad," she stood on her toes and planted a kiss on his cheek. "But don't let it get around. I don't want to lose my reputation as a hard ass."

Charlie couldn't contain his joyful grin. "It'll be our little secret."

"I love you, Charlie Swan, and that's no secret," she wrapped her arms around her father's waist and squeezed him tightly. "You're the best dad ever."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Esme fussed with the table setting. Everything just had to be perfect. She wouldn't accept anything less.

"Madam, please allow me," Jenks stepped behind her, offering his assistance.

"Oh, Jenks, please," she smiled, waving her hand at him casually. "I set the table myself all the time at home. There's no need to bother you or to add more work for yourself."

"It's no bother, Mrs. Cullen," his eyes were soft as he looked at her.

"Still, it's something I can do myself," she shifted the large bowl filled with roses slightly to the left. "There. _Now_ it's centered!"

"I'm so relieved, madam," a wry smile adorned Jenk's lips.

Esme glared at him. "No one likes a smart ass, Jenks," she smirked. "I tell that to my kids all the time."

"And they are words to live by," Edward snickered as he came down the stairs into the kitchen, looking around. "Where's Mrs. Jenks?"

"Oh, Tanya ran out to the store. I realized we didn't have any of those little apple juice boxes that you said Alec seems to like so much," Esme glided over to her son, planting a quick kiss on his stubbly cheek. "We're expecting company," she reached up, rubbing her hand along his face. "Can't you at least shave?"

"Mom," he rolled his eyes. "This is me. I'm not out to impress anyone."

"I know that it's you, darling, but, honestly, you look like a hobo," she shook her head. "At least try to tame that wild mane of yours, ok?"

Edward sighed, and headed back up the stairs, grumbling under his breath.

Esme stood in the middle of the kitchen, hands clasped together in front of chest.

"Madam?"

"Oh, Jenks," she sighed. "I'm just…I'm so nervous."

"Mrs. Cullen, there is absolutely no reason for you to be nervous," the old butler smiled kindly at her.

"I know…but...," she looked up at him with watery eyes. "What if he doesn't like me?"

Jenks eyes glinted at her. "A child not fall in love with Esme Cullen? Why, my dear, that is simply impossible."

She let out a breath. "You honestly think?"

The back door swung open, letting in a whoosh of winter chill and Tanya Jenks, along with a flurry of snow. Esme and Jenks turned with a start.

"Mother of all things holy, it's freezing out there," she dropped the bags she was holding onto the island in the middle of the room and shook the snowflakes off her long puffy down coat.

"It's December in Chicago, my pet. What more did you expect," Jenks helped his wife remove her coat.

"Next time you're going to the store," Tanya glared at her husband.

Esme pulled the juice boxes from the bags and walked over to the refrigerator.

"There's quite a lot of juice here," she giggled. "I hope Alec is thirsty."

Tanya smiled. "They are for Alec and Edward. The reason we were out of juice boxes is because Edward drank the last one yesterday."

"Ah, like father, like son," Esme smiled. Then, suddenly, she stiffened as she stood in front of the open refrigerator, cold air escaping into the warm cocoon of the kitchen. Her face clouded over and tears started to slip down her perfect pink cheeks.

"Mrs. Cullen? Mrs. Cullen, what's wrong?" Jenks was at her side quickly, closing the refrigerator door.

"Esme," Tanya took Esme's hands in hers and led her over to the table, sitting her down gently into one of the cushioned chairs around the cozy table. "It's ok, dear. Everything is ok," she exchanged a cautious look with her husband.

"My baby is a father," Esme whispered as she stared straight ahead. "My Edward, my precious Edward."

Jenks pulled another chair next to the one Esme sat in and Tanya dropped down into it quietly as she continued to hold Esme's hands.

"It's ok, dear," she soothed the upset mother. "Everything will be ok, Esme."

Esme looked at Tanya, fear and uncertainty in her eyes. "But…how do you know? My Edward's just a baby himself."

"You'll see," Tanya soothed. "When you see them together, you will realize that all of your fears will be for nothing."

"I'm scared, Tanya," Esme whispered. "In a little while, this is going to be absolutely real."

"Of course you are scared, dear," the older woman smiled sadly. "You wouldn't be human if you weren't."

"How…how did Edward cope with this? When he found out?"

"He was terrified, to say the least. But, I think that, when he looks back at this, he will realize that Alec was one of the best things that ever happened to him."

"Do you really think that?"

Tanya nodded. "I do. I can see the changes in him already. He's taking his responsibility seriously. And he really does adore that little one," she smiled.

"I…I want so much for Edward to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted from life for him," Esme's brow furrowed. "Did he tell you that he broke up with a girl he loved terribly when all of this happened?"

"Bella?"

"Yes, Bella. She's so lovely, Tanya. She's everything he needs. She made him happy," Esme sniffled slightly, and Jenks offered a box of Kleenex. She pulled a couple of tissues from the box, nodding up at Jenks to thank him before rubbing at her nose gently.

"If it's meant to be, my dear, it will be," Tanya's voice was gentle. "Your Edward has changed a lot over the last couple of weeks. He's matured quite a bit."

"I can see that he has," Esme dabbed at her tear filled eyes, careful not to upset her mascara. "I just want him to be happy, Tanya," she sighed.

"And he will be. He just has to work it out in his own time and in his own way."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

The flat screen tv flashed white and blue into the darkened living room as a loud groan floated into the kitchen over the sound of a siren.

"Sounds like the Rangers scored again," Jacob Black laughed as he dried the dish Bella handed him.

"The state of Washington has no NHL team, Jake. How the hell did they get so invested in the, ahem, Mighty Ducks of Anaheim," Bella rinsed another dish before holding it out to Jacob to dry.

"First off, it's just the Anaheim Ducks now. Disney gave them that stupid name after that equally stupid movie when they owned the team. They sold the Ducks in two-thousand-five, and the new owners dropped the lame "mighty" from the name," he grinned at her, swung his long, glossy black pony tail over his shoulder, obviously proud of his knowledge of the team.

"Oh wow. My life's complete now that I know this," Bella deadpanned as she scowled.

"I guess you're not a hockey fan, huh?"

Jake flipped the dishtowel over his massive shoulder and leaned back against the counter. Bella noticed how tall he'd gotten since the last time she had seen him in the Thriftway. He also seemed to have gotten more muscular. His shoulders were broader and she had noticed the muscles in his arms flexing as he dried the dishes. Since he was wearing a tshirt, she really couldn't help but notice the new bulges under his tan skin.

"So," she changed the subject. "You still getting into the _firewater_ these days?"

Jacob let out a loud laugh. "Hell no! I stopped that a while back. I'm into healthy living now," he flexed his arms, proudly displaying his biceps.

"Cool," she smiled, trying not to give away how proud of him she was or how impressed and distracted she was by his physique.

"How about you? Still seeing that weird Cullen guy?"

The question threw her, but she gave no indication of it to him. Outwardly, her face was a mask, a poker face even Lady GaGa would be proud of. Internally, however, there was turmoil.

"Edward's not weird, Jake," she murmured.

"I haven't seen him at the Thriftway in a while."

"Going there looking for him, are you," she raised an eyebrow as she glanced at him sideways. "Have a little guy crush on my man?"

"No," he quickly snapped. "It's just that he was always there. Like, _always_ there. But he hasn't been there the last few times I went."

"He's taken a leave." It wasn't a lie. Edward had taken a leave of absence when he'd left for Chicago. "He's in Chicago to take care of some pretty urgent family stuff."

"Then why aren't the rest of the Cullen's there?"

"Because it's not the Cullen's family. It's Edward's biological family. He's adopted."

"Oh…wow. I'm sorry…I didn't know," Jacob's voice was low and sincere.

"It's ok. He had some sort of open adoption thing where his birth family stayed in contact," she sighed and once more recounted the story that Alice had so carefully crafted.

"So…are you and him on some sort of break or something," Jacob pressed on.

"I guess you could say that, since he's not, you know, _here_," she couldn't hide her annoyance at his persistence.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Jacob apologized. "I didn't mean to pry."

She shook her head as she sprayed Orange Glo into the sink and began to scrub it. "It's ok. It's just that when he left, we sort of didn't leave things in a good way."

"Bummer."

"Total bummer."

"So, what-cha getting me for Christmas," a broad smile crossed his face, his obsidian eyes glinting in the florescent lighting of the kitchen.

"Coal. A giant lump of it."

"Cool. We can heat the house all winter then."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Why would I tell you what I'm getting you, Jake? Seriously, you're as bad as Charlie." She made a quick mental note to log onto Hot Topic's website as soon as Jacob left that night to order him a gift.

"I'll tell you what I'm getting you."

She turned and faced him, holding out a hand. "Stop right there. I don't want to know and I don't want you to tell me."

"Jeez, Bella. Don't be so touchy. I wasn't going to tell you anyway," Jacob Black chuckled.

"Good," she rinsed out the sink, but stopped dead in her tracks as a brilliant idea occurred to her. "Hey…are you doing anything Friday night?"

"I never do anything on Friday nights anymore," he ran a huge hand down his long, silken black ponytail. "Unless you count going over to Sam's to lift weights something to do," he smiled sheepishly at her.

Bella's grin widened. "Want to go to a Christmas party with me then?"

**XxXxXxXxXx**

The conversation was loud and friendly. Esme spoke animatedly, moving her hands about as Alec sat on her lap, popping Cheerio's into his tiny heart shaped mouth one by one.

"So, it's a lost cause is what you're telling me," Kate laughed as she sat back in her chair, relaxed and enjoying herself.

Esme pointed at Edward, who sat hunched over the table as he nibbled on a chocolate chip cookie, wide green eyes on his mother.

"Well, look at him. What do you think?"

Edward chewed quietly as he looked from his mother to Kate.

"I guess it's genetic," Kate laughed.

"You know," Edward huffed when he swallowed his mouthful. "I am actually sitting here while you talk about me. Not to mention that I work hard to get this careless look, Mom." He grabbed his glass, gulping down his milk quickly.

"Oh, darling, we all know your hair looks like that no matter what you do," Esme reached across the table and ruffled his mess of bronze hair, despite his efforts to duck from her.

"Ok, we don't have to take this," he huffed, standing up. "I'm going to go check Alec's diaper," he mumbled as he lifted the giggling toddler from his mother's lap.

"Call if you need help, dear," his mother called after him.

"Mom," he turned toward her, Alec on his hip. "I think I can handle changing a diaper."

"Whatever you say, Edward," Esme winked at him before she and Kate both dissolved into a fit of giggles.

"Women," he mumbled as he ambled out of the kitchen, leaving the two grandmothers alone at the table.

"So, are the rest of the kids happy with these…developments," Kate asked when she knew Edward was out of ear shot.

"Oh yes," Esme sipped her tea. "Alice is just over the moon. Can't wait to come spend Christmas here so she can finally see him and spoil him in person."

"Oh, sweet Alice," Kate sighed. "Is she still a fireball?"

"Always," Esme nodded. "Well, she's slowed down a bit. The kids had a bad car accident on Halloween and she broke her ankle, but she does her therapy religiously and while she's slowed a bit, she only limps when she's tired now."

"Oh no," Kate's hand went up to her mouth. "Neither Carlisle or Edward mentioned that. Were the others hurt as well?"

"Jasper's shoulder is still somewhat messed up. That will take more time and therapy before it's back to normal."

"Were Rosalie and Emmett in the car with them?"

Esme felt a knot tighten in her stomach as a stiff smile stretched across her pink lips.

"Yes, they were. Emmett just had superficial wounds. Rosalie's injuries were more severe."

"Esme," Kate reached a hand out, grasping Esme's hand. "What aren't you telling me?"

Esme sighed and wiped her mouth with her napkin, tossing it onto the table in front of her. "Well, there was a…a…confrontation."

"Confrontation?"

"Yes," she nodded. "On Thanksgiving. You know how Rosalie was always trying to find some way to get Edward into trouble."

"Oh, how could I forget? She was the one who told us the kids had run off to Whistler. And she was just so overjoyed to do it."

Esme looked around the kitchen quickly. "Shh, Kate. Edward doesn't know about that."

"You kept it from him," Kate's voice was surprised.

"You kept his son from him," Esme's tone was matter of fact.

"Point taken," Kate sighed. "So, what did she do on Thanksgiving? Or did he just have enough of her nonsense?"

"Oh, it was horrible, Kate. So horrible," she shook her head. "We were having dinner. Edward's girlfriend Bella and her father were over. Charlie, Bella's father, is the chief of police. And it started out pleasantly enough. Then all of a sudden, Rosalie just dropped this bomb right onto the table, asking Edward if he was going to tell Bella that he had a child."

Kate gasped in shock. "Oh! No! How did she…how could she?"

"I have no idea," Esme shook her head, her blue eyes clouded over with sadness. "Jasper seems to think she found out on FaceSpace or MyBook or one of those internet things."

"Facebook," Kate let out a resigned sigh. "Victoria is all over that thing constantly. She has a ton of photos of Alec up on it," she shook her head. "I mean, her friends here don't know Edward, so they don't realize he's Alec's father. But Rosalie…," she shook her head again. "Rosalie would have known it the second she saw the pictures."

"So, that…set him off," Kate pressed on.

"Mmm hmm," Esme sipped her tea again. Her throat had gone amazingly dry. "It was horrible Kate. He just ran at her, screaming. He called her a liar…among other things," she furrowed her brow and smirked at the memory.

"I can imagine how angry he would be. And rightfully so," Kate sipped her coffee, which had long ago gone cold, but it didn't matter at this point.

"Anyway, Carlisle and Charlie were able to restrain him and, as much as it killed him to do it, poor Carlisle had to sedate him. Once that was done, Carlisle did something I never thought I would live to see if I lived to be a hundred."

"What was that?"

"He kicked Rosalie and Emmett out of the house," she wiped at the tears that threatened to fall at the memory.

"_Carlisle_ did that," surprise shook Kate's voice.

"Carlisle," Esme nodded. "My sweet, gentle husband."

"Where did they go?"

"He set them up at some inn on the outskirts of town. Got them a room and a rental car. Wires a monthly allowance to a bank account for them. They are good until graduation. Then the support stops the day after."

"Well," Kate sat back in her chair, having not even realized she had been leaning forward during most of Esme's tale. "You can't say she didn't deserve it. She's just lucky Carlisle is as compassionate as he is, and that she wasn't flat out on her ass, like she deserved to be."

"No, you can't, but at the same time, it wasn't a lie. And Carlisle and I did know."

"No," Kate shook her head. "You didn't know. You thought Victoria had terminated that pregnancy. You didn't know she'd actually gone through with it and had the baby."

"Yes, but we should have followed through and followed up with you. It's just that things were so…weird? Is that even the right word? Edward had gone into a very dark place. Rose was up to her old tricks, with Emmett, Alice and Jasper just following along. My family was just so messed up."

"I can understand that. And Esme, don't forget that we moved right after you did, so you wouldn't have been able to follow up, even if you'd had the presence of mind to try."

"I suppose you're right, Kate," Esme looked down into her half filled cup of tea.

"We all made mistakes, Esme. It's no one's fault," Kate's voice was gentle and understanding.

"But now it's all out in the open. Edward seems over his initial anger toward his father and I," Esme took a deep breath and closed her eyes, shaking her head.

"He was angry?"

"Well, we told him the truth about everything. He was so angry, Kate. He was angry at Carlisle and I. He was angry at the world. And then he broke up with Bella out of that anger. Oh, it was a horrible few days."

"I can imagine. The girl…she couldn't handle it?"

"No, that's not it at all. It was Edward who couldn't handle it. Bella loves him. Unconditionally. She supports him completely. Even now. And Edward loves her. Loves her still I'm quite certain. But I suspect he felt maybe a little…" her voice trailed off as she thought of the right word. "Unworthy. Maybe he felt he didn't deserve her."

"Has he…" Kate stopped abruptly as Edward clamored back into the room wearing a new tshirt. Alec sat on his hip, smiling as usual.

"Edward, did you change," Esme eyed him suspiciously.

He flopped back down into his chair, sitting Alec on his lap so that the tiny cherub was facing him. Frowning, he looked at his mother. "He got me, ok?"

He felt his face go red as the two mothers laughed loudly at his misfortune.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"We should have taken my car," Jacob grumbled from the back seat of the shiny silver Volvo as Alice sped through the wet streets of Forks.

"Why? At least my car was built this century," Alice snorted. "And Bella, don't you even dare say we should have taken that thing you call a vehicle."

"I wasn't, Alice. We can't all fit in my truck, which, according the Department of Motor Vehicles in the state of Washington, is, indeed, a vehicle."

"Jesus, Alice, watch where the hell you're driving," Jasper exclaimed as Alice bumped the car up onto the curb and popped off of it with a loud thud and a scraping sound. "Edward is going to hurt you good if his car gets scratched, Alice. And all I can say is that I'll hold you down for him!"

"You know, you can all get out and walk the rest of the way if my driving is _so_ offensive to you," Alice snarled.

"I didn't complain," Bella protested. She shared the roomy backseat with Jacob, and was actually enjoying the creature comforts the plush Volvo had that her old truck didn't, like leather upholstery and the handy seat warmers, which she had turned up all the way.

"Maybe you weren't, but the boys were."

"Awww Alice," Jasper's voice was all sweetness. "You know I always tease you when you drive, darlin'."

"Save it," she spit.

"Jake, you have to admit this is a nice car," Bella smoothed her hand over the cool leather of the back seat.

"I never said it wasn't. My problem isn't with the car," he leaned forward and poked his

head around the headrest of the drivers seat. "It's with the driver I have issues with."

"As if you can drive any better, dog," Alice sniffed.

"I can, you little—"

"Jacob!" Bella cut him off.

"Sorry," he sat back in his seat and sulked.

"Now," Bella huffed. "All of you. We are going to a damn holiday party. It's a fucking happy event, and we're going to be fucking happy if it kills us, damn it."

"Well, I'm happy," Jasper grumbled.

"Can it, Hale," Alice huffed at him.

"Jeez," Jasper shifted in his seat and turned his head toward the passenger door window, avoiding Alice's glare. He was still wearing his special arm sling and the angle he was sitting at was uncomfortable, but not nearly as uncomfortable as the looks Alice was leveling at him.

"This was your idea," Jacob reminded Bella, pointing a beefy finger in her face.

"I thought it would be nice for us all to hang out," she sighed as she slapped it away. "How could I know you wouldn't get along with my friends? And don't point your finger in my face again unless you want to lose it, you jerk."

"Oh, what now? I'm not your friend too," Jacob looked hurt.

"I never said that," she shook her head.

"Well, ok then," he crossed his arms over his chest. "Because, if it's a pissing war you want, well, then I knew you first."

"But I know her best," Alice shot back as she came to a stop in front of the Stanley house. It was all lit up with bright, twinkling lights in every color haphazardly strewn all over the front of the house, as well as along every plant in front of it.

"Holy crap. Look at that mess," Jasper whistled. "I bet you can see the glow from three streets over!"

Judging by the number of cars parked up and down the street, most of Forks High had followed the glow and was already inside partying. "Fudge. Where am I supposed to park," Alice whined.

"Not our problem," Jacob shot back as he opened the door and darted out of the idling car, dragging Bella with him.

He had dragged Bella halfway up the curving front path, lined with glowing white luminary bags, before Alice noticed they were out of the car.

"Jake! That was so rude," Bella hissed, yanking her arm from his grip as they climbed the steps onto Jessica Stanley's porch. Several people were standing around on the porch, smoking cigarettes and chatting, not paying any mind to the young couple arguing as they stood on the doormat.

"What." He shrugged his shoulders. "It's only Alice Cullen."

Bella rang the doorbell. "Still. She's my friend and she drove us here. And I invited you to come with us, so your behavior is a reflection on me. The least you can do is be polite," she chastised him.

"Thanks, Mom. I'll try to remember that next time I'm in a car with the freak," Jake leaned against the side of the house. "You know, for someone who looks so cool, you really have a giant stick up your ass, don't you?"

The door flew open and Jessica Stanley stood smiling a toothy grin, wearing a flared red felt skirt with puffy white fake fur trim, topped with a too tight red snowflake sweater. Bits of silver garland twisted in and out of her hair. She was just in time to hear Bella shout "Fuck you!" at Jacob Black.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"Are you sure this party is in that neighborhood," Edward furrowed his brow. Kate had dropped both Victoria and Alec off at Edward's house earlier in the evening, where they had all enjoyed a take out dinner of deep dish Chicago pizza before Edward and Victoria left for the party, with Esme over the moon at having her new grandson all to herself for an evening.

Despite what his mother thought would be good for him, Edward knew he would rather be spending the night at home with his mother and son. He had no desire to spend time with Victoria when Alec wasn't involved in it, and he particularly had absolutely no interest in going to a party where he knew no one except Victoria.

Jenks answered for Victoria, who was busy staring into a mirror, checking her makeup as she reclined in the back seat of the Mercedes next to Edward. "This is the address Miss Victoria gave to me, Master Edward," Jenks was in formal butler mode.

"Why would a kid who lives here go to public high school," Edward mused to no on in particular as he looked out the window. The house that the party was being held at was in a very upscale neighborhood. They weren't exactly houses as much as they were mini estates. "Shouldn't he be going to some fancy private academy or something?"

"A lot of kids who live here go to Northbrook," she fiddled with her newly cut hair, pushing one side behind her ear, then pulling it forward, trying to determine how she liked it best, never taking her eyes off of herself in her mirror. "You know, it's so cool that you have this old dude at your beck and call all the time, Eddie."

"His name is Mr. Jenks," Edward reminded her.

"Oh, yeah, speaking of names," she finally put down her mirror and turned to look at him. "You have to remember to call me Tori tonight, ok? Everyone here knows me as Tori. That's kind of like, my thing. And I don't want Demitri getting jealous or suspicious or anything, ok?"

"Believe me, Demitri has nothing to be suspicious or jealous about, _Tori_," Edward stared straight ahead, wishing he could see the expression on Jenks face.

"You'll really like Demitri. He watches baseball too, so you'll have something to talk to him about. Of course, I hope you don't mind when we go off to, you know, be alone later on tonight," she paused to apply more red lip gloss. "At houses like this, you can usually use one of the bedrooms upstairs."

"For what?"

"For…you know," she smirked into the dark.

"Oh Jesus," he rolled his eyes. "Just so you know, you're boyfriend can drive you home. I'm only staying for a little while to make my mother happy. Then I'm calling Mr. Jenks and I'm getting the hell out of there."

"That's fine, Eddie."

"Edward."

They sat in silence as Jenks drove through the frigid Chicago night. Edward could feel his stomach clenching with anxiety. After the stunt that Victoria had pulled in the café that first day, he still wasn't sure he could trust her. And he didn't trust her. Or that girl Bree that she hung out with. There was just something about her pale face, with that long, straight black hair and big black eyes that gave Edward the creeps. He shuddered involuntarily at the very thought of her.

"Are you cold, Master Edward?"

"No, sir. I'm fine," he mumbled.

Victoria finally put her mirror back into her purse and turned toward Edward.

"So, you didn't say how much you liked my outfit."

He glanced in her directly and shrugged. What was there to say, really? She was wearing a short, full red plaid mini skirt with a tight white cardigan sweater that had some sort of ruffles up and down the front. The minute they were in the car, she'd unbuttoned the top three buttons so that the lace on her red bra was visible. He was pretty sure that this had been what she'd bought the day they went to the mall together, when she had that important shopping to do. Of course she would have spent that time and his goodwill to shop for herself. She had come back with a bag from Hollister and wouldn't tell him what she'd bought when he'd asked. So typical. She had no sense of style herself. She was cut from the same cookie cutter the rest of the mall rats were cut from. Why wouldn't her clothes be the same ones everyone else wore? There was one thing he knew for sure, and that was that Victoria, no matter what he had thought of her back in Seattle, was no Bella.

Jenks pulled up in front of a big brick house set back from the road by a large snow covered lawn. While the entire front of the house was illuminated, there were no Christmas lights to be seen.

"This would be the house, sir."

Edward let out a sigh of resignation. "Thanks. Please don't get out to open the doors, Jenks. It's freezing out there," he opened the door to let himself out.

"Thank you, sir."

"I'll call you in a little while."

"Yes, sir," Jenks leaned toward Edward's open door. "Have a good time, Master Edward."

Edward snorted in response.

Victoria sat in the backseat. "Thanks for spoiling the whole chauffer driven limo thing for me, prick," she scowled. "Are you at least going to come open the door for me?"

"Nope," Edward slammed his door shut, shoving his black leather gloved hands into the pockets of the gray pea coat his mother had insisted on getting for him to wear to the party. A fucking gray pea coat. No one would talk to him if they saw him walk in wearing this thing. Hell, he wouldn't talk to himself if he saw him wearing it.

"Thanks a lot, you shit," Victoria slammed her door shut before clattering over to Edward in a pair of too high stiletto heals, making it quite obvious that she had no idea how to walk in them. He scoffed to himself. Bella could so kick the shit out of Victoria in heels even higher than those.

If the amount of time he had been spending thinking about Bella and comparing her to Victoria that night had been significant or disturbed him on some level, he hadn't realized it himself…yet.

Victoria laced her arm into the crook of Edward's passive elbow. "The least you can do is let me hold on to you before I break my neck on this icy path."

"It's not the path that's going to make you break your neck. It's the stupid shoes you can't walk in," he smirked as he watched Jenks drive away.

"Fuck you, Eddie. I invite you to a nice party to get you out and all you do is insult me."

"Edward."

They moved slowly up the front path before reaching the massive double doors, which opened before they even pushed the doorbell.

"TORI!" Naturally Bree had been on the look out for her friend. "And Eddie decided to come too! Cool!"

"Edward," he corrected as he pushed past the two giddy girls and into the warm entrance hall where two fairly large boys around his age stood next to Bree.

"_Edward_, this is my boyfriend Demitri," Victoria wrapped herself around the larger of the two, who looked Edward up and down, then immediately bent forward to plant an openmouthed wet kiss on Victoria. Demitri had wavy dark hair and dark eyes. Other than his size, there was nothing extraordinary about him, Edward thought.

"I'm Felix," the other boy was raised right and offered his hand to Edward.

"Edward."

"Nice to meet you," Felix glanced at Demitri and Victoria who were in a full on make out session against the wall. Felix rolled his eyes. "Let's go get you a drink."

Edward looked around at the house as he followed Demitri into what he assumed to be the living room. It was a vast room, furnished all in white. A large mantle held fake evergreen garlands lit with little white lights and a fire roared in the fireplace. A giant tree stood in one corner, where two drunk or stoned boys were systematically plucking the green pine needles from a branch and tossing them into the air like confetti. The two white sofas were covered with teenagers in various states of inebriation. The tribal beat of the music thumped loudly, causing the conversations to thrum into the background like white noise. Felix moved through the room and into the kitchen, where the bar was set up.

"What's your poison?"

"Uh…I really don't drink," Edward had unbuttoned his pea coat but dug his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

"You're kidding, right," Felix looked at him in disbelief. "You used to date Tori and you don't drink? Fuck. I don't date her and I can't stand to be in the same room with her for five minutes without a drink!"

Edward chuckled. "Yeah, well, things were different back then."

"I'm sure," Felix dipped his hand into a bucket of ice and pulled out a bottle of imported beer, opening it up. "Here, you deserve this just for riding in the car with that banshee," he handed the bottle of Stella to Edward.

"Thanks, man," Edward took the bottle, holding it up and nodding to Felix before bringing the bottle to his lips and taking a short pull from it.

"Holy Fuck!"

The loud curse caused both Edward and Felix to jump and turn toward the far wall of the kitchen, where a tall blonde boy with tousled hair stood. He was long and lean, made to look even longer by the tight, dark skinny jeans that wrapped around his slender legs. A loose white linen shirt dangled from his shoulders, untucked. Two more boys who were dressed in a similar fashion stood on either side of him, looking like the rich kids from a bad teen movie.

He moved swiftly until he stood directly in front of a startled and confused Edward.

"Is it you," he whispered as his piercing aqua eyes squinted at Edward.

"Excuse me," Edward's eyes widened.

"Eddie Masen? Is that you?"

Edward felt his heart beat faster. No one had called him Eddie Masen since he was seven, since before he became a Cullen. This boy obviously knew him, but Edward had no clue who he was, or how he knew him.

"I…I'm sorry…I don't…do I…um…" he stammered and sucked in a breath. "Do I know you," he tried to act casual as he brought the bottle of beer back up to his lips.

"Eddie," the blonde boy smiled broadly. "It's me. Marcus Green."

Edward choked, spitting the beer out.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Well, there it is. I truly hope this one was worth the wait. I will try to do better with the next chapter, because, well, things are going to be happening in that chapter...um...yeah...that's all I can tell you :P**

**Once again, thank you to each and every one of you who are reading this hot mess. I truly do appreciate it. **

**And, as always, if you like what you're reading, kindly press the 'review' button and drop me a line. I love to hear from everyone. **

**Oh, and if you _really_ like it, then why not share the link with your friends? :D**

**Thank you again for your continued readership :)**


	29. Chapter 29: Bop Till You Drop

**Ok, so I think I did better on this update than I did last time. A little quicker this time! Like I tell people...it's a creative process...the mind has to be in the right place...and I have to not be spending all my time watching American Pickers and Pawn Stars. *sigh* History Channel owns me.**

**Big thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing my little story! Thank you for coming along on this ride with me! I hope it has been worth your while.**

**Business: Twilight, it's characters and it's situations do not belong to me. They are the property of the very lucky Stephenie Meyer. And I am totes jealous of her!**

**Ok, now on to the parties!**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Chapter 29: Bop Till You Drop**

"_Eddie," the blonde boy smiled broadly. "It's me. Marcus Green."_

_Edward choked, spitting the beer out_.

"Marcus," Edward's eyes widened in surprised recognition.

"Yeah," the blonde boy nodded, his white teeth gleeming.

"No fucking way."

"What should I say?"

Marcus reached out and pulled Edward into a firm embrace, which Edward returned, smiles on both of their faces.

"What the hell? When did you move here," Edward pulled back, sweeping the hand holding the bottle of beer out in front of him.

"When my mom remarried about four years ago. When did you get back?"

"Three weeks ago," Edward looked down, shaking his head. "But I'm not really back. I'm just here for…family business."

"Cool. Your grandpa's house is still there. I drive past it sometimes."

"Yeah, it's still in the family. That's actually where we're staying."

"Are all of the…what was the name of that family that adopted you again," Marcus moved past Edward, pulling an icy beer from the bucket and opening it.

"The Cullen's. Doctor Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme."

"Yeah, that was it. So how long you in town?"

"Probably only until after the holidays."

Marcus nodded. "We'll need to hang out while you're here. Benjamin and Peter are around here somewhere."

"You still hang out with them," Edward looked at Marcus in disbelief.

"Yeah," Marcus nodded. "Not everyone changes their names and moves away like you did, man," he added with a smile.

"As if I had a choice," Edward snorted before taking a long pull from the beer. He was feeling more relaxed and at home now that he'd found an old friend. It almost felt as though he'd never left, had never lost so many years of his friendship with Marcus.

"Yeah, that's true," Marcus nodded, agreeing. "Hey…how the hell did you end up here? Not that I mind, you know. I think it's pretty awesome, but still."

"Oh, well…uh…someone I knew from Seattle moved here. That's who I came with," Edward ran his hand through his hair nervously.

Marcus looked over at Felix, who was taking in the reunion with curiosity. "You're…ahhh….Fred, right?" Marcus pointed a finger in Felix's direction, squinting an eye at him as he tried to think of his name.

"Felix," he smirked. Just his sheer size alone should make a pipsqueak like Marcus Green remember his name, he thought. Felix, without a doubt, could easily snap the much slighter Marcus in two with just one hand.

"I didn't know you lived in Seattle," Marcus mused.

"You didn't know my name, you little shit. How could you know if I lived in Seattle or not," Felix emptied his bottle of Stella into his mouth.

Edward snickered and shook his head. "It's not Felix. I just met him here tonight."

"Oh," Marcus looked at Edward, mischievous look on his face as he eyed Edward's pea coat. "I didn't know you played for the other team, Eddie."

"You'll never change, will you Marcus," Edward shook his head, letting out a soft chuckle. "If you have to know, I came here with Vic-" he caught himself. "Tori. Felix here dates her friend Bree."

"Tori," Marcus squinted his eyes as he thought. "Tori?" He turned and looked at Felix. "Do we know a Tori?"

"Of course you do, you idiot. You invited her," Felix appeared to have little patience for Marcus.

"I am seriously at a loss. What does she look like?"

"I dunno. She's…shorter than me. Kinda pale. She's got jaw length straight red hair," Felix opened another beer and lifted the bottle to his lips.

Marcus closed his eyes. "Jaw length red hair…that doesn't sound familiar."

"That's her right there, with her boyfriend Demitri," Edward pointed toward a couple making out on one of the white sofas in the other room.

"Ooooh," Marcus nodded, light bulb finally going on inside his head. "_Her_. Yeah, I had no idea what her name was. We just decided to invite her tonight so she wouldn't crash like she always does," he looked at Edward, chuckling. "It's actually kind of pathetic, really. She and that friend of hers, that dark haired girl with those empty, vacant eyes, crash every party and then try to act like they were invited. Never bring their guys along when they do," he tossed a look at Felix as though apologizing. He hooked an arm around Edward's shoulders, drawing him away from the bar and Felix. "The only reason we even let them stay and don't toss 'em out on their asses," he whispered, conspiratorially, "is because they're so easy. And, let's face it, that red head's not a bad piece of ass, especially when you consider that there's really no effort involved in getting some of it. And I'm not just talking blow jobs or hand jobs either, which she's pretty proficient at…or so I'm told. That bitch will take it any way you want to give it."

Edward stared at Marcus, saying nothing but feeling his stomach churn.

"Hey, but I don't have to be telling you that, right, Eddie? I mean, you know her, so I'm sure you _know_ her, eh?" He nudged Edward in the ribs with his elbow, giggling maniacally.

"I wouldn't know," he answered coolly as he took another sip of his beer, swallowing hard.

Marcus smiled, false and toothy. "Sure, if that's how you want to play it."

"Hi Marcus!" The chirping chorus interrupted the sudden tension between the two old friends.

Victoria and Bree stood, side by side, both looking up at Marcus with adoring eyes.

Marcus's blue eyes flashed quickly at Edward as a sultry smirk wrapped around his lips. "Ladies! I hope you're having a good time," he opened his arms wide and in a swift move, engulfed both girls into his embrace.

"We are," Victoria's arm was around Marcus's slim waist, her hand fisting into the loose fabric of his shirt. "Thank you so much for inviting us!"

"The pleasure is all mine, ladies," he looked up, winking at Edward as Felix reclined behind them against the kitchen counter, watching the show going on in front of him.

Edward rolled his eyes at his old friends insincerity. He couldn't believe Victoria and Bree were actually buying the line of crap he was hand feeding them. Then again, they weren't exactly the brightest bulbs in the chandelier. And it appeared they would do just about anything to be with the 'in' crowd, which Marcus appeared to be the king of, his slick demeanor making them feel welcome into that world, even though he knew otherwise.

"Marcus, I hope you don't mind, but I brought my friend Eddie. He was visiting from

out of town." Of course she had noticed that Edward had been talking to Marcus. She could probably sniff Marcus out at a hundred yards, even with her tongue down Demitri's throat.

"I'm actually quite thrilled that you brought Eddie, um…" his eyes flashed toward Edward, who rolled his eyes at him. "Babe," he finished, eyes on Edward's disapproving face. "Would you believe that Eddie and I are old friends from another life?"

Once more, Edward felt compelled to roll his eyes, only this time, he and Felix did it at the same time.

"Wow…like, from a past life," Bree teetered in her stiletto's, the beer buzz already turning into a full on drunk.

Marcus looked at Edward. "In a way…"

"Marcus and I attended The Latin School of Chicago together," Edward cut him off, tired of the games he was playing. "Back before the Cullen's adopted me."

Marcus let his arms drop from the two girls and moved toward Edward, Victoria reluctantly letting go of the handful of shirt she was still clutching. "As I recall, your buddy Eddie here was quite the little geek. Some things never change."

Edward smirked. "And you were quite the loser. Good to see you're still the same."

Victoria looked at Edward in astonishment. "Eddie, I don't think it's…"

"Isn't it time to go find your boyfriend," Marcus turned to her, but not before rolling his eyes at Edward. "And perhaps Felix would be more comfortable sitting down inside?"

"Come on, Bree," Felix grabbed two more beers and his girlfriends arm before tugging her back into the living room.

"Go on," Marcus looked at Victoria as she stood there. "Shoo," he dismissed her with a waving hand before she huffed and turned on her heel, calling out Demitri's name as she ran into the other room.

"God, I thought she'd _never_ leave! She's annoying as fuck!"

"That she is," Edward mused as he emptied his bottle of Stella.

"Was she always this annoying?"

"No," he shook his head before reaching into the ice bucket in search of another bottle. "She's much worse now. As are you."

"How do you stand being friends with her?"

Edward shrugged. The last thing he had any intention of doing was letting someone like Marcus know the details of his entanglement with Victoria. "I don't have to see her very often," he let out a dark chuckle. "How do you stand being you? I mean, you actually have to _live_ with yourself."

Marcus' mouth twisted into a droll smile. "Touche, my friend."

Edward raised his beer to Marcus in a salute. "Why do you go to the regular high school now?"

"Got kicked out of Latin, and a couple of other schools," Marcus tossed his now empty bottle into a bucket marked 'RECYCLE' and plucked another from the bucket of ice. "My step father decided that he wasn't going to waste any more of the money he worked so hard to fleece from his clients on my smart ass~which, by the way, is his pet name for me, Smart Ass~and shoved me into the general population. So that I could learn a lesson from those who were, and I quote, 'less fortunate' than myself and didn't have the educational opportunities that were available to someone like me," he ended with wide sweep of his arm and bowed.

Edward cracked up laughing. "Are you shittin' me?"

"Nah, my step father's got a pole the size of the Sears Tower shoved up his ass," he took a gulp of his beer. "How's your new father?"

Edward tipped his bottle to his mouth. "Not very new anymore."

"You know what I mean."

Edward smiled. "If I told you that I have the worlds best parents, would you believe me?"

Marcus studied Edward's face for a moment, before answering. "Yeah, I would," his tone was serious. "You're that big of a dick to say something like that and mean it."

"Well, it's the truth. I do. I have the best parents I could ever ask for. My father is compassionate and caring. He puts his family and his patients before himself. Always. My mother," he paused, sighing. "My mother saved me. I have no idea where I'd be without her. She's my lifeline."

"Lucky," he sounded like he meant it. "Are you all in Chicago now?"

"No," Edward shook his head, taking a drink from his bottle. "My father was here for a couple of weeks, but had to go back to Washington. My mom's here now, and everyone else is flying out as soon as school's out for the holidays."

"Lucky," Marcus repeated.

"Your parents aren't home, obviously," Edward gestured to the throng occupying nearly every inch of the vast living room and hallway.

"Nope. They never are. They're in Gstaad skiing."

"They went without you?"

"Always do," he emptied his beer in one quick succession of gulps and slammed the bottle down on the counter with a bang. "C'mon. Let's find Benjamin and Peter and have a little Latin reunion. They're gonna pee when they see you and that hair! And by all means, bring your cute little pea coat with you," he grabbed Edward by the lapel of the gray pea coat he was still wearing, dragging him into the crowd.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Bella angrily pushed past Jessica and melted into the crowd, leaving both she and Jacob gaping at the door.

She stormed through the small, crowded living room until she found herself in the cramped kitchen, and folded her arms across her chest, a mighty scowl on her face.

"Hey, Bella, wait up," naturally Mike Newton followed her through the house and into the kitchen, where Mrs. Stanley was taking little pieces of frozen hors d'oeuvres out of a box on the counter and placing them onto cookie sheets.

"Is everything ok, kids," Mrs. Stanley quirked an eyebrow at Bella and Mike.

"Everything's fine, Mrs. Stanley," Bella sighed.

"Bella?" Jessica bounced into the room. "What just happened with that boy from the La Push reservation?"

"Nothing happened, Jess," Bella blew out a deep breath.

"What boy from La Push," Mike asked nosily.

"Jessica, I told you that you could invite thirty people. Thirty. Not the entire population of Forks _and_ La Push," Mrs. Stanley scolded.

"Ma, I didn't invite anyone from La Push. He's Bella's date," Jessica defended herself.

"He's _not_ my _date_," Bella protested.

"What happened to Cullen," Mike wore an expression of surprise.

"Nothing happened to Edward," Bella was beginning to lose her patience. "He's still in Chicago. Jacob is an old friend of mine, not that it's any of your business. Our father's are friends. I thought it would be nice for him to meet the rest of my friends. That's all. Nothing more than that. Not now, not ever."

"I'm sure it's not. Not after telling him to eff off," Jessica snorted, her hands on her red felt clad hips. "It's probably not even a friendship anymore."

"Jessica, what did I tell you about that sort of language," Mrs. Stanley slid toasted bits of the puffy bite size tidbits from a cookie sheet she pulled from the oven and onto a big serving tray.

"I didn't say anything, Ma. Bella did," Jessica stomped her foot like a four year old.

"Oh, thanks Jess. Sell me out why don't you?"

"So, you're not dating him?" Mike Newton seemed to have a one track mind. "The kid from La Push?"

"No, Mike. I'm not dating Jake. In fact, to the best of my knowledge, no one is dating him. So, since you seem to be _so_ frigging interested in him, he's all yours."

Mrs. Stanley snorted out a snicker at the counter. "Go for it, Michael."

Mike Newton's round boyish face grew red with embarrassment as the three women tried not to giggle in front of him. Growing angry at his obvious embarrassment, he stormed out of the kitchen, pushing past Jacob Black, who'd finally made his way inside to look for Bella.

"Watch where you're going, asshole," Mike growled as he shoved Jake out of his way.

"Who's the giant tool?" Jacob jerked a thumb in the direction that Mike, along with his wounded ego, had taken off in.

"_That_ is the one and only Mike Newton," Bella couldn't contain herself any longer and, after exchanging meaningful glances with Jessica, tossed her head back and let out her throaty laugh. "He wants to date you."

"What?" Jacob looked uncomfortable suddenly.

"Is this the boy from La Push," Mrs. Stanley looked up from her appetizer tray to examine Jacob. "Wow, you're a big one. What are they feeding you down on the res these days?"

"Miracle Grow," Jacob's face lit up with his smile.

"Ha," Mrs. Stanley let out a guffaw. "I like this one," she nodded. "Jess…I _like_ this one," she quirked an eyebrow, causing her daughters face to grow as red as her skirt.

"Ma! Jeez!" Jessica turned on the heel of her little black velvet flats with red jingle bells attached and jingled out of the kitchen.

Jacob looked at Mrs. Stanley, who had gone back to her little puffed pastries while humming, with curiosity, almost forgetting the reason he was in the kitchen in the first place.

"Uh…yeah…Um…Bella…I…um…I'm sorry."

Bella crossed her arms over her chest once more, and forced her face into a stern grimace. Behind Jacob, who still stood in the kitchen doorway, she could see Alice and Jasper watching the exchange.

"You should be, Jacob. I mean, I'm nice enough to invite you to come with us, and you do nothing but insult my friends."

"I'm sorry. I mean, you know I don't like the Cullens."

"Oh, I do? How do I know this?"

"I told you…when we met in the Thriftway."

"You did? Then why don't I remember," she looked at him, surprised.

"Yeah, I did…well…not in so many words, I guess," Jacob looked down at the floor. The Stanley kitchen was dated, with burnt orange floor tiles and wallpaper and avocado green appliances.

"I believe you referred to my boyfriend as weird."

"Yeah…well…that's what I meant…"

"You don't like Edward because you think he's weird, so all Cullen's are bad?"

"Yeah…no…ah, Jeez, Bella," Jacob slapped a massive hand across his forehead. "You…you make me crazy, you know that?"

"_I_ make _you _crazy," she took a step toward him, and he instinctively backed up, his sense of self preservation sharper than he thought. "I invite you to a party. You insult my friends, and I make you crazy?"

"That's not what I meant."

"I think it is."

"I…I mean…it's...," he stammered.

"It's what, Jake? What do you mean? Spit it out, you giant hair ball," she spat at him.

"I like you," he whispered, hanging his head.

"I like you too…or I did, until tonight," she snorted.

"No, Bells. I mean…I mean…I…I _like_ you."

Mrs. Stanley had taken her attention away from the little savory treats on her tray and was now watching the exchange intently.

"You mean…you…you…._like_ me. You don't like me. You _like_ me?" Now it was Bella's turn to stammer.

"Yeah," he nodded his head. "And Cullen, well, he's kinda in the way of that, you know?"

Bella nodded, feeling her cheeks flaming red. "Well…yeah…I…I could see…yeah," she nodded again. "Yeah, I can see why you don't like him then," she looked away from him, playing with a measuring cup that was laying haphazardly on the counter next to her.

"It makes me crazy, thinking about you being with…_with_…him."

"Uh huh."

"I…I wanted to ask you out so badly…but…I was having that bit of trouble with…well…you know. And I knew Charlie would kick my ass if he found out I wanted to date you~sorry Ma'am," he looked at Mrs. Stanley with big black apologetic eyes. "And by the time I got my act together, well, you were with him. He had what I wanted. How could I like the guy, no matter how nice he might be," he smiled impishly, making his boyish face appear even younger than it usually did.

Bella let out a sigh. "Oh, Jake…my heart's belonged to Edward since the first day I met him. There was…it wouldn't…there's no…," she sighed again. "I love him, Jake," her voice was soft. "There's half a country between us right now, and that love? It's still as strong as it was before he left, if not stronger. There's nothing that can change that," she looked up at Jacob's disappointed face, meeting his eyes for the first time. "Ever."

Jacob looked back down at the orange linoleum, nodding silently.

"I'm sorry, Jake," she continued in a soothing tone. "I like you. I really do. But…but not like that."

He nodded again. "I understand," he whispered.

Mrs. Stanley held the tray of hors d'oeuvres out to Jacob. "Here, sweetie, have some."

Jacob looked up at her, a sad smile on his lips. "Thanks, Ma'am."

"You're welcome, doll," she brushed a strand of hair that had escaped the neat pony tail he wore at the nape of his neck off of his face as he popped a frank in a blanket into his mouth, chewing hungrily. "Why don't you take this tray inside and mingle with it, hmmm?"

He looked up at Bella, who smiled and nodded. "It'll be a good way to get to meet everyone, Jake."

He stood up straight, shaking the rejection off of himself, and took the large tray from Mrs. Stanley. "Ok," he sighed, resigned to his fate.

"And I think the first person you need to offer some to is standing right there."

Jacob followed Bella's pointed finger, which led straight to a smug looking Alice Cullen.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Marcus closed the large wooden double doors behind them, clicking the lock as he did.

"Where are we," Edward tried not to let his nerves seep into his voice as he stood in the darkened room in another wing of the house, away from where the party raged. Really, while he'd been friends with the three of them years ago, if he was being honest with himself, he really didn't know them now. So much had happened, so much time had passed, that, as much as he wished things hadn't changed, they had. He knew that he himself wasn't the same boy he'd been when he left Latin and moved to Seattle. Hell, he wasn't the same guy he'd been in Seattle anymore. People change…and he had no idea why his old friends had herded him into a darkened room in a far wing of the massive house and locked the door behind them.

"It's my step dad's den," Marcus flipped on the lights, causing everyone to squint for a

brief moment from the brightness.

When his eyes adjusted to the intensity of the bright recessed lights, Edward looked around the room, letting out a low whistle. "Some den."

The den was immense. There were ceiling to floor windows running across the length of the room, which showcased the pool and gardens in the back of the house, lit up in all their winter glory, as the lights glinted off the gleaming white snow that blanketed everything. On one wall was a flat screen so large it looked like it belonged inside a movie theatre. Edward's mind drifted to Bella's house and how they would all sit and watch movies on Chief Swan's much smaller flat screen. Theatre style seats sat lined up in two rows in front of the television, giving it a much colder, less personal feeling than the worn out, cozy sofa at the Swans. He felt a pang of sadness as he remembered the night they all watched Bella's favorite Harry Potter movie.

An ornate pool table took center stage in the room. But the little reunited group stood huddled in front of a bar area. This was a bar area unlike any that Edward had ever seen before, including the bar in his grandfather's house. This one looked like it had been taken right out of an English pub, complete with small bar tables, hard wood floors and a dart board.

"This is the best room in the house, Eddie," Benjamin grinned as he rubbed his hands together. "You'll see."

Benjamin had mousy brown hair, cut in such a way that it made him look just like he was wearing a Justin Bieber wig. Edward couldn't understand why anyone would consciously want their hair to look like Justin Bieber's, but, then again, Benjamin was also short and stocky and looked like he'd lost a fight with the back end of a train, so he likely needed all the help he could get with the ladies.

"You've been missing out on some fun shit, Eddie," Peter flopped down in a plump, leather clad chair. Peter reminded Edward of a Jonas Brother for some reason. He wasn't sure which Jonas brother it was, but he was pretty sure it was a Jonas. Why his old friends were making him think of teen pop stars was beyond him, but they were, and another pang of sadness hit him when he thought of how amusing Bella would find the whole situation.

"I'm still in shock that you guys are all still hanging out together," Edward sat down in the chair opposite Peter.

"Yeah, we're still tight," Peter acknowledged as Marcus moved behind the bar, plunking crystal glasses down on the counter and dropping ice cubes into them. "Hey, you still bleed Cubbies Blue, Eddie?"

Edward shook his head. "Nah…well, not like I used to. I did like Piniella as manager, though. Wish he hadn't decided to retire."

"Yeah," Benjamin sighed. "I thought we had a shot to go all the way with Piniella. Shame."

"What's a shame is that I don't know if Eddie likes ice in his bourbon," Marcus interrupted from behind the bar.

"Um…sure," Edward looked at him as he leaned back in the comfortable chair. "So, you guys still go to Latin? Or are you in public school too?"

"Nah, we all got kicked out of Latin together," Benjamin joined them at the table, tossing his too long bangs out of his eyes as he sat.

Edward smiled. "What the hell did you guys do to get kicked out together?"

Marcus snickered. "You could say they caught us smoking in the boys room."

"And they kicked you out for that," Edward snorted. "What the fuck?"

"They weren't exactly cigarettes that we were smoking," Marcus poured amber liquid into each of the glasses.

"Weed?"

"Yep."

"Wow…I wouldn't have thought they'd expel you for something like that, what with all the rich, privileged bastards that go there," Edward mused as Marcus offered up the filled glasses to him on a tray. He took one and pursed his lips together, thinking. "Hey, you guys remember way back when some kid in like, ninth grade or something got caught?"

"Jared Wilkins," Peter nodded. "Yep."

"I don't remember him getting kicked out."

"He didn't," Benjamin grabbed a glass off the tray. "But he wasn't selling it either."

"Oh, shit. You guys weren't...," Edward's green eyes glowed.

"Fuck yeah. Why the hell not," Marcus flopped down in the chair next to Edward, completing the quartet. "I have easy, cheap access thanks to my new old man. Why shouldn't we make a few bucks off it?"

"Because that's not legal," Edward offered.

"Neither is this," Peter held up his glass of bourbon, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"Nope, it's not, you fucking boyscout," Marcus raised his glass. "A toast! To the Four Musketeers! Together again!"

The four boys clinked their glasses together before drinking. The golden liquid was foul in his mouth and burned his throat going down, but Edward fought the urge to grimace in front of his friends.

"Now, to get this reunion off to a rockin' start," Marcus dipped his hand into the pocket of his shirt and pulled out a large joint. He lit it, and handed it to Edward. "You're the guest of honor. You get the first hit, Eddie."

Edward stared at the offering wide eyed for a moment, mentally scolding himself. It wasn't like he'd never smoked weed before. Truth be told, getting high was part of the weekend scene he and Victoria had been part of in Seattle. Everyone did it. All of his friends, particularly the guys he played ball with. That he hadn't done anything like this since moving to Forks was little more than a testament to his outcast status at Forks High. He had no friends to get stoned with. At all. And, since he was currently being perfectly honest with himself, didn't he deserve to cut loose for a little bit? Didn't he deserve to relax and enjoy himself? After the last few weeks, since his newly found paternal status had been discovered, he'd been on an emotional roller coaster. Not to mention that he'd had to deal with Victoria on a daily basis since coming to Chicago. Surely, if anyone deserved a cool buzz, it was Edward Cullen. He licked his lips and reached out, plucking the joint from Marcus' fingers. He lifted it to his lips, closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"I hate eggnog," Alice groused as she hopped up onto the counter next to the sink where Bella was washing a cookie sheet.

"Then don't drink it. There's soda, isn't there?"

"Yeah, but everyone's drinking that stinkin' nog! I don't want to be the only one drinking Coke," she folded her arms over her chest, her satin dress crinkling under them.

"You're gonna wrinkle if you sit like that, Alice. Your skirt's hitching up," Bella took a dish towel and wiped the sheet. "Here you go, Mrs. Stanley," she handed the metal pan to the older woman.

"Oh, thank you so much Bella! It's such a treat to have someone who knows their way around a kitchen here. Jessica means well…but…"

"Yeah, I can see how that'd be an issue," Bella smiled. There was just something about Mrs. Stanley that she really liked, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She was sure that, given the opportunity to spend more time with her, she would eventually end up liking Mrs. Stanley more than she liked her daughter.

"Mrs. Stanley, did you make those little appetizers," Alice watched the older woman work.

Mrs. Stanley looked up at Alice as she dropped more frozen globs onto the cookie sheet Bella had just handed her. She laughed. "No, dear. I would likely be in the state mental hospital by now if I'd attempted to make a thousand little puff pastry treats."

"I bet you would have set some sort of Guinness world record or something if you had, huh?"

"I bet I would have set a record, but I doubt Guinness keeps track of those kinds of records, Alice," she smiled at Bella, who laughed.

"I think poor Mrs. Stanley won't want to see another frozen appetizer for a long time, Alice."

"I think I want to get a box of those and make them for dinner tomorrow," Alice smiled. "Especially those little hot dog ones. Oh, and the ones that have like, potato and spinach in them? Oh my God! I want! I want," Alice licked her lips and closed her eyes.

"Here you go, right out of the oven," Mrs. Stanley slid a sheet of steaming puffs onto another tray. Alice hopped off the counter and began to pluck her favorites off the tray, dropping them onto a paper plate.

Bella stood with her hands on her hips and laughed heartily. "That's the real reason Alice came in here, Mrs. Stanley. Not to talk to us, but to get first crack at the food!"

"And don't tell Jazz," she pointed a tiny finger at Bella as she returned to the counter to hungrily eat her pilfered puffs.

"I'll pass these around, Mrs. Stanley. Jake seems to have pooped out," Bella looked into the living room, watching as Jake sat on the sofa, talking animatedly with Lauren Mallory, who seemed to be very interested in the strange new boy from out of town.

"You do realize that this is supposed to be Jessica's job, don't you, Bella," Mrs. Stanley blew a lock of hair that had fallen over her face away.

"Yeah, but," Bella looked into the living room again, spotting Jessica in the corner, where she'd somehow wrangled Mike Newton. She used her body to block him in there, talking his ear off. "Jess should enjoy her party too, you know?"

"That's sweet, dear, but you are a guest, not the help. And your outfit is so pretty."

Bella looked down, the sequined bustier and leather skirt fitting her just so. In that moment, she missed Edward more than she had before. She knew how much he would have appreciated her effort tonight.

"He'll see you in it when he gets back," Alice mumbled through a mouth filled with potato and spinach puff. She turned and gave Bella a look, licking her greasy fingers as she did.

"Jesus, I had no idea what a pig you were, Alice," Bella huffed, annoyed that her friend had read her mind. "Does Jasper know this very unattractive side of you?"

Alice shrugged. "What can I say? I enjoy my food."

"Speaking of poor Jasper, where did you leave him," Bella picked up the tray that Mrs. Stanley had finished refilling.

"He's in the den with Tyler and Erik and some of the other boys. I think Ben's in there with Angela, too," she popped a tiny frank into her mouth and chewed heartily. "There's some sort of game on," she managed through the mouthful before opening her mouth up all the way, and showing Bella her half chewed food.

"Ew! Alice! Gross," Bella hefted the tray off the counter and ran into the other room with it, listening to Alice's cackling laugh as she went.

"She's such a pretty girl," Mrs. Stanley mused. "If only she'd wear a little less makeup."

"The makeup," Alice bit into another puff. "What about the hair? To say nothing of that lip ring," she chewed quickly. "I'll say this much, I simply won't allow that hair or lip ring at the wedding."

"What wedding?"

"When she and my brother get married," Alice shoved the rest of the puff into her mouth.

"Aren't you jumping a little fast there? Maybe putting the cart before the horse?" The oven timer dinged and Mrs. Stanley pulled another batch of hors d'oeuvres from the oven. Alice was at her side quickly, once again picking her favorites off the tray and dropping the hot tidbits into her plate. "You know, for someone so tiny, you sure can pack it in."

"Fast metabolism," Alice grinned and leaned against the counter next to where Mrs. Stanley worked. "And no, I'm not jumping into any conclusions or putting anything before any carts. Bella and Edward are going to get married. They are meant to be together for eternity. I just know it."

"Do you now?"

"Mm hmm," Alice bit into a frank in a blanket. "You know, some mustard would be great with these."

"There's some in the fridge," Mrs. Stanley gestured with her head toward the refrigerator and watched as the tiny girl almost danced across the kitchen and opened the door, searching for the mustard.

"You seem pretty sure of yourself where your brother and Bella are concerned."

"I am. I just…sometimes, I just know things, you know," she slammed the refrigerator door shut and went back to the counter where her plate sat with the mustard.

"Spoons are in the drawer," Mrs. Stanley offered.

Alice grabbed a spoon out of the draw and dropped a dollop of mustard onto her plate, licking the remaining mustard off the spoon. "Mmm…nice and spicy!"

"So, you say you know things. Is that like you're…psychic?" Mrs. Stanley grinned but didn't look up. She was enjoying the conversation and knew if she looked at the hungry little pixie, she would laugh.

"Yep, although Jazz sometimes says I'm more psycho than psychic," she giggled for a minute then grew serious again. "But, seriously, Mrs. Stanley. Bella and Edward love one another. And it's a love like what Jazz and I have. Maybe even more intense," she paused thinking for a moment. "My brother is addicted to her, like a heroin addict. And Bella? Edward is like air for her. Without him, she has trouble even breathing. I've seen it," she nodded before pushing more food into her mouth. "God, I'm so going to hate myself in the morning."

"You might hate yourself tonight if that tight little dress decides to give out on you," Mrs. Stanley laughed. "Oh, Alice, you are a delight. I think both your brother and Bella are very lucky to have you on their side. It's a shame I didn't have you around when I decided to marry Jessica's father. You could have talked me out of it."

"Why? If you'd never married Mr. Stanley, you wouldn't have Jess."

"I guess you've got a point there," Mrs. Stanley mused as she slid another sheet of little mouth watering delights into the oven. "But still…now I'm much older and alone…the bum."

"May his man bits shrivel up and fall off," Alice said solemnly.

"My sentiments exactly."

"So, is the divorce final?"

"Mm hmm. Last week. I think it's been hardest on Jessica. That's why I let her have this party, even though I wasn't in much of a festive mood this year."

"Mrs. Stanley," Alice's eyes glinted with delight. "When you're ready, you let me know."

"Ready for what, dear," she asked curiously.

"Ready to get your feet wet…in the dating pool. Because I have the perfect man for you. Hell, if he wasn't my best friends father, I'd probably want to date Charlie Swan myself!"

**XxXxXxXxXx**

***ducks***

**I think anyone who's watched Twilight with the commentary on knows the origin of Edward's sentiment about his little pea coat *giggles* I have to admit...that's my favorite part.**

**And Lou Piniella...Sweet Lou. I'm a Yankee fan from waaaaayyyy back...so number 14 will always have a special place in my Yankee Pinstriped heart, regardless. And who doesn't love the Cubbies anyway? I'm sure Edward secretly still lives and dies with them...but he's just too darn stubborn to admit it *winks***

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did...click the little review button and let me know! **

**And, if you really like it, tell your friends about it!**

**Once again, thank you for reading! I really do appreciate each and every one of you!**


	30. Chapter 30: Teenage Lobotomy

**Once again, I apologize for the delay in posting the latest update. Real life has totally kicked my butt. I have been sick, my mother was in the hospital, work's been, well, work, and the official dumping of Mr. Man has finally happened...to my great relief and dispair. I have been left sadly sapped of my creative energies (not to mention the attention span!) So, I take total responsibility for my epic update fail. **

**I would like to thank everyone who's stuck with my little story, and any new readers that have come on board as well. I would also like to thank everyone who read, reviewed and voted for The Man In Love With You, which was my entry for the All Hallows Eve contest. I really do appreciate the great feedback that I've gotten from that little ditty! **

**Important Business: Twilight, its characters and its situations do not belong to me. They are the intellectual property of one Stephenie Meyer, whos size 8 pumps I would give my weekly manicures to have filled this past week ;)**

**Please enjoy chapter 30. I'm quickly running out of Ramones titles...I may need to dust off the old Squeeze cd...or maybe The Clash...what do you think?**

**Chapter 30: Teenage Lobotomy**

He rolled over onto his back, his lids thick and heavy with sleep as he tried to force his eyes open. His tongue felt swollen in his dusty mouth, his throat dry as a desert. He lay there, not moving as he stared blearily into the bleak darkness, disorientation swimming through his fizzy mind. Sitting up slowly, his already pounding head began to feel as though it were going to explode from any sudden movement. Recognition finally dawned on him. He was home, in the cozy bedroom of his youth.

A low groan escaped his lips as he willed himself to sit up on the edge of the bed with slow, deliberate movements, clutching at the bed sheets for balance while the dark room spun around him with every slight move he made. _No one to blame but yourself, asshole_, he thought as he slowly forced himself to stand up on what felt like rubber legs, shuffling with sloth like hesitantly toward the bathroom.

Edward had ended up getting so wasted with his old friends that he had absolutely no recollection of most of the evening. He had no idea what had happened after they had smoked that second joint. Or had he blacked out after the third brandy? Everything was so fuzzy and muted in his dull brain that he couldn't be sure now. He did remember Marcus reaching behind some bottles that sat behind the bar and bringing out a small baggie of white powder, though. He just couldn't remember if he had joined in on those festivities himself. He ran his hand through his messy hair, now damp with his own sweat. No, there was hardly any doubt about it. He knew he had probably ended up snorting the coke right along with his old cohorts.

Exactly how he had gotten home, or for that matter how he managed to get into bed wearing only his tshirt and boxer briefs, remained a mystery~a mystery that he was sure his mother or Mr. Jenks would no doubt resolve for him as soon as he went downstairs in the morning. And if his mother had been involved, he knew with absolute certainty that he would have much more than a lot of explaining to do for the condition he had been returned home in. It was something that he knew he wouldn't be looking forward to, but right now, his primary concern was getting to the bathroom in the dark on his less than reliable legs without falling over and killing himself, or alerting his mother to the fact that he was indeed awakened from his alcohol and drug induced comatose sleep. Thankful that he hadn't peed himself in front of his friends, he grabbed hold of the bathroom door frame for balance and flipped on the bathroom light, grimacing and shielding his sensitive eyes from the bright and intrusive glow. Finding the toilet, he began to relieve himself with a sigh. He wavered a little bit on his feet as he stood on the cold tile floor, missing the giant target that was the blue toilet bowl several times. He mentally noted to make sure he cleaned it up in the morning himself, so that Jenks wouldn't have to add insult to injury and clean up his shame for him. Then he hoped he would remember to remember.

Satisfied with his now empty bladder, he washed his unexpectedly sticky hands with warm water and soap, catching a glimpse of the mess that he was in the bathroom mirror. His half closed eyes had trouble focusing, but he could see the dark purple crescents that had formed under them. His unshaven face somehow looked dirtier, older than it ever had. And perhaps he looked guiltier as well.

He turned off the hot water and ran the cold, running his wet fingers under the stream until satisfied with the temperature before filling a paper cup and gulping it down greedily, the cool liquid doing little to put out the fire in his parched throat. He refilled the cup and quickly swallowed down more, hoping to quench the burning thirst. After a third cup, and a sick bloated feeling in his empty stomach, Edward splashed the cool water onto his pale, glossy face, wiping the water and grease away with a thick, soft towel. The sweat was gone, but the guilt remained.

He sighed heavily and turned to leave the bathroom, hand sliding up the smooth wall until it found the light switch. He flipped it off and flopped down in his comfortable chair, letting out a deep breath. He sat silently in the dark room, resting his elbows on his knees as he buried his face in his hands. Once more, Edward Cullen had fucked up. In nearly every way imaginable. He couldn't even trust himself to go to a party and not mess that up. What more could he even hope for from himself? Hadn't he gone and messed up the best thing that had ever happened to him?

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, thinking about Bella. She would probably be asleep right now, curled up in her little bed, wearing those worn out Hello Kitty pajama pants that were too long for her. She had probably taken the orange streaks out of her hair by now and replaced them with something more appropriate for Christmas. Red, no doubt. He knew she had to look absolutely gorgeous with her alabaster face framed by bright red, her little silver lip ring glinting as she smiled and tossed her head back while she laughed. Bella's laugh. It was such a turn on to him. Deep and throaty. Sexy as hell. And he'd thrown it, and the beautiful, amazing girl it belonged to, away. All because he couldn't handle the curves that life had pitched at him. He laughed to himself at the irony. The pitcher couldn't handle the curve ball.

A soft rustling of the sheets on his bed drew him from his musings as his eyes grew wide in the darkness.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Bella lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. The glowing green numbers on her alarm clock blinking at her, making her think of only one thing: Edward Cullen's sparkling emerald eyes. She closed her eyes, wishing the thoughts away, only to see his smiling eyes staring back at her.

She sighed, tossing the covers aside as she sat up and ran her hand through her hair. This was ridiculous. He was gone. And he tossed her aside before he left in such a cruel way, a way she'd never expected. Why was she losing sleep over someone who didn't even want her? Someone who didn't believe in them the way she did? Why waste her time on him?

Because, she answered herself, because, deep in her bruised, crushed heart, she knew. She knew he hadn't meant it. He had been hurt. Angry. Upset. And she hadn't been part of that hurt or anger. She'd done nothing to him. She was the innocent victim in all of this. She had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. She knew that, deep in his own broken and tormented heart, Edward Cullen loved her with as much passion as she loved him with.

She slung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. It was still dark out, but she knew she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep no matter how hard she tried.

If anything, the party had allowed so many of the feelings she'd pushed aside to bubble up to the surface. First and foremost, there was the whole idea of having to go to the party without her boyfriend…the same boyfriend that everyone at Forks High thought was still _her_ boyfriend, even if she knew otherwise. And being there without him, even without anyone knowing their official status was a sad fact that made both Mike Newton and Jacob Black think she was fair game. When the cat's away and all of that nonsense, she guessed. The whole issue angered her. Angered her at the Mike Newton's of the world and especially angered her at the one and only Edward Cullen, damn him and his adorable crooked smile. And then there was who ever squeezed her ass when she was in the den with the tray of appetizers. That had to have been either Tyler or Erik, and both of them were going to pay dearly for that little transgression come Monday, regardless of who was really to blame. Just because Edward wasn't there, it didn't give them the right to treat her like he didn't exist…even if he didn't for all intents and purposes.

Of course, the simple fact that she was facing the holidays single but pretending she wasn't, was, as much as she loathed to admit it, the thing bothering her the most. Not that she'd ever been one of those girls who always had to have a boyfriend. She wasn't and never would be. But, it still bothered her. Immensely. Here she had thought she'd had a fairly strong and healthy relationship with her beautiful bronze haired boy~until Rosalie felt the need to get her crazy bitch on and ruin her life.

Then again, how healthy could the relationship have been in the first place if he felt the need to pull away from her in his time of need instead of leaning on her for support? Wasn't that what couples did? Didn't they turn to each other in their darkest hours when they needed help? Perhaps the whole thing hadn't been as wonderful as her rose colored glasses and hind sight had told her it had been.

She paced around her small bedroom, knowing that it wasn't indigestion from all of the little puffed pastries she'd swallowed at Jessica's party keeping her up. Rather, it was all of the visions of Edward Cullen that were dancing through her head. Little sugar plum fantasies of him. His wild copper hair glittering under the white Christmas lights. His green eyes glowing like sparkling metallic ornaments on the tree. His crooked smile so much like…like…like the Grinch. Yes, that was it! He was the Grinch. And he stole her Christmas, damn him! She hated the fact that she had let Edward Cullen get so deeply under her skin that he had become like a rash who's itch she just couldn't relieve, regardless of how hard she scratched it.

Stuffing her feet into her well worn leopard print slippers, she quietly padded down the stairs in her too long Hello Kitty pajamas and made her way into the kitchen. The clock on the microwave glowed green. She rolled her eyes. More glowing green. Damn you, Edward Cullen.

As quietly as she could, she set about making herself a cup of cocoa. It wouldn't help her get any sleep, but she knew the warm sweetness would make her feel just a little bit better.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Edward wasn't sure how long he'd sat on the edge of his chair staring into the darkness toward his bed before the sheets stirred again. It could have been five minutes. Or five hours. Time had ceased to have any meaning to him.

She rolled over, sitting up on her elbows and blinking into the darkness before flipping on the small light that sat on the bedside table. She blinked at him again in the dim light cast by the little light, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand, dark mascara and eye liner smearing underneath them.

"Hey, Eddie," she smiled warmly at him. "What time is it?"

He stared at her, open mouthed and dumbfounded. She was in his bed. Wearing his robe. His Cubbies blue robe.

What had he done?

"I…I don't know," his cracking voice was low.

She rubbed her eyes again and giggled. "Silly. Don't you have an alarm clock? Or does your servant wake you up?"

"My alarm clock is old fashioned. It doesn't light up." Dead. He was dead inside.

"That's so you, Eddie," she shifted and sat up. "Wow, I think I'm still buzzed."

Funny, he felt stone cold sober and wide awake now. What had he done?

He stared at her, mouth still open.

She stared back at him in the muted light and smirked. "Nothing happened, if that's what you're thinking."

"Then…what…how…"

"Your guy, that Jenks guy, came to pick us up," she tossed back the blanket and sat up, letting her legs dangle off the edge of the bed. Edward could see she still had her black tights on and heaved a silent sigh of relief. "You were way out of it Eddie. And Jenks was pissed. I mean, seriously pissed that he had to come and go looking for you. Then he had to carry you out, that's how bad it was, and I think he was worried at that point," she rubbed her eyes again and blinked several times in quick succession, mascara flakes making her eyes sting. "I'll admit that I was scared, Eddie," her voice was low and curiously sincere. "I mean, really scared. You looked dead."

He looked at her. Was she scared he was dead because she worried about him or was she only worried about what the kid she brought to the party overdosing and dying would do to her social standing at school? Odds are if he had ended up dead, she could kiss any future invites to Marcus' parties goodbye.

He swallowed hard. "What do you mean?"

She sighed, pulling the robe tightly around her middle. "Your Jenks came into the house and found me," she continued softly. "He got really pushy, demanding to know where you were. I told him the direction I saw you going with Marcus and the other guys, and the next thing I know, there he is, carrying you out and looking really serious."

"And I was passed out?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Real pale and just…I dunno…it was bad, Eddie. I just grabbed my coat and followed him. I mean, your mom would probably have told my mom if I had stayed, you know? I'd get in trouble."

He stared at her. There it was, the same old Victoria. "Then why are you in my bed?"

"By the time we got home, you were starting to come around a little. You should have been wide awake. The old guy had all the windows in the car wide open. I was freezing," she shuddered at the memory and wrapped her arms tightly around herself. "Anyway, I figured maybe I should stick around, you know, because of Alec and stuff. So I asked your mom if it was ok, and she said yes," she leaned forward and looked at him. "She's really pissed at you, by the way."

Edward shrugged. What else could he do? "But that doesn't explain why you're in my robe and in my bed."

"Well, your mom said she would keep the baby in her room and just left. Like, she just walked away while I was talking to her and told the old dude to put you to bed. I mean, that's how I know she was pissed," she shook her head and laughed. "Your mom's never rude and she was like, so rude."

Edward rolled his eyes. His mother's rudeness to her was nothing compared to what awaited both of them in the fast approaching light of day.

"This is a big house," he muttered. "Why didn't you ask Jenks to take you to a room down the hall or something?"

She stared at him for a moment before answering in a low voice. "Because I was scared, Eddie."

"Scared of what," he snorted. "It's just a house."

"I was scared for you. You _are_ my son's father, Eddie. You have no idea what you looked like. What if something happened to you and no one was in here to help? How would I explain it to Alec?"

He swallowed hard and looked down. It was so unlike Victoria to be concerned with anyone but herself and he didn't expect it from her.

"I…I'm sorry I scared you."

"It's ok. Your bed's really comfortable, by the way." And the moment was gone.

"Thanks."

"Anyway, like I said. Nothing happened. You were too wasted. Not that you didn't try though," she looked up at him from under her clumpy eyelashes. It was a look he knew all too well from her.

"W-what do you mean," his eyes widened.

"Well, once the old guy got you in bed and left, I took my skirt and sweater off and put this robe on," she fingered the soft fabric. "I hope you don't mind. I didn't want to go looking in your drawers and the robe was just there on the chair."

He shook his head. "No, it's ok."

"I got into the bed and a few minutes later, you were like, right there. You just wrapped your arms around me and pulled me into you really tight. I tried to get away, but you're pretty strong. Then you started to kiss my neck."

He could feel the color warming up his cheeks. He was wasted and he made out with her. Bile began to rise in his throat.

"But it was only for a couple of minutes, because then you kind of just rolled over onto your back and you must have passed out again," she tried not to sound as disappointed as she had felt at the time.

"I'm sorry, Victoria. I…I didn't know what I was doing. I…I have no memory of it," and he really didn't. There was nothing left of the evening from when he'd blacked out until he'd woken up to pee.

"It's ok, Eddie," she looked down at the floor. "Anyway, when did you learn to speak Italian?"

Edward quirked an eyebrow and looked at her curiously. "Italian? I don't speak Italian," he shook his head.

"Sure you do. You kept calling me beautiful in Italian," she smiled shyly up at him.

"But…I don't know any Italian, Victoria."

"Well…you kept saying 'bella, bella' over and over. That's beautiful in Italian, silly."

He felt the color drain from his face as he sat there, staring at her with widened, horrified eyes but saying nothing, for the lump in his throat was far too big to swallow down this time.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"You're up early."

Charlie Swan shuffled on his sock clad feet into the pre-dawn kitchen, commenting to his daughter as she sat with her mug of warm coco, reading a two day old copy of the Seattle Times by the light of a single scented Yankee Candle in a jar, the dark murkiness of the room matching her mood.

"You know, this may not be the big city, but believe it or not, we do have electricity here," he flipped on the overhead florescent light. Both he and his daughter cringed back from the brightness.

"Thanks, Dad," she squinted at him before blowing out the candle. She sniffed in the fragrance. Home for the Holidays had never smelled so true before.

"So," he pulled out a chair and flopped down. "What's bothering you?"

"Bothering me? Why do you think anything's bothering me," she closed the newspaper, folding it up along the already existing creases before tossing it to the side.

"Because it's before dawn and you're up. You've been up for a while, obviously," he motioned toward the mug of coco and the newspaper. "Meanwhile, you were out late last night and now here you are, up before the sun, sitting in the kitchen with a cup of hot chocolate while you read a week old newspaper," he smiled at her. "I'm a cop, I know these things, kiddo."

"Well, if you were as good a cop as you seem to think you are, you would have realized that this newspaper is only two days old, not a week old. Bad observation skills, Officer Swan," she smiled at him.

"That's Chief Swan, missy."

"Why are you up so early? Don't tell me you're going fishing again." Time to switch the line of questioning. The last thing she wanted to do was admit to her father that Edward Cullen had once again reared his untidy bronze head and had taken up occupancy in her thoughts like he always seemed to do.

"Nah. We don't usually fish this close to Christmas," he waved a hand dismissively. "But, the old body is so used to being up at this time that it woke me up anyway," he frowned a little, drawing the ends of his dark moustache down. "I figured I'd get up and make you breakfast to surprise you."

"Yeah," she sipped her coco. "Nothing says wakey wakey eggs and bakey like the sound of a smoke alarm going off."

"Hey," Charlie tried not to look chagrined. "I'll have you know that I've been known to make quite a good breakfast, little lady."

"Oh yeah? For who?"

"Now, that would be telling," he winked at her.

"Ha," she scoffed. "It would be telling nothing because the only person you've ever made breakfast for is yourself."

"That's not true!"

"Ok, then who? Who have you made breakfast for?"

"Well," Charlie scratched his head. "Sometimes when Billy gets here early before we go fishing, I'll make some breakfast for us."

"Dad, no offense, but if you shredded cardboard and put it in a bowl with some sugar and milk, Billy would eat it."

"Nah, doctor made him give up cardboard a few years ago," he smirked at his daughter, quickly ducking the two day old Seattle Times as it flew through the air toward his head.

"You're not funny, Swan," she smiled despite her statement. Charlie Swan always knew just how to make her feel better and forget her problems for a magical moment or two.

"So, do you want to talk about it?"

She sighed. "There's nothing to talk about, really, Dad."

"How was the party? You didn't say much when you got home."

"There wasn't really all that much to tell. I spent most of the night in the kitchen with Mrs. Stanley, helping her. She was pulling these little puffed pastries out of the oven almost as fast as Alice was shoving them into her mouth."

"Little Alice?"

"Your little Alice is a first class pig."

"I never would have guessed," the ends of Charlie's moustache twitched up at the thought.

"Neither would I if I hadn't witnessed it with my own two eyes," she shook her head. "I mean, she ate more than the guys!"

"Did Jake have fun?"

"Jake and I started the evening off with a fight," she scowled at the memory.

"A fight with Jake," Charlie looked surprised. "You guys never fight, Bells."

"Yeah, but he was just being so rude to Alice that I had to say something," she sighed, running her fingers through her hair.

"How could anyone be rude to Alice," he shook his head then smirked. "Did she take his food?"

"No," she shook her head, not seeing the humor in her father's statement. "This was before we even got there. He was just...just rude. Complaining about her driving and stuff."

"Well, she didn't take any crap from him, did she?"

"Nah. Called him a dog," she smiled at the memory.

"Good for her!"

"Turns out he hates Edward, and by extension, all the Cullens."

"He doesn't even know the Cullens."

"Dad, he hates them because Edward and I…" her voice trailed off. There was no reason to finish the sentence. "He hates them because I was dating Edward and he likes me. He likes me like that."

Charlie smiled. "But you…"

"Don't like him the same way he likes me."

"Did you at least clear the air with him?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "He got over me real quick…just about the time Lauren Mallory slipped him her phone number."

Charlie's face broke into a big grin. "Atta boy!"

Bella rolled her eyes.

"So," he tried to compose himself. "Does he still hate the Cullens?"

"I guess not," she shrugged. "He was fine with Alice the rest of the night."

Charlie reached across the table and took her hand in his "Do you hate them?"

"Dad…"

"Bells, listen. What Edward did to you? I couldn't blame you if you hated him…even just a little. No one would."

"Dad…I don't…I can't…I just can't hate him," she sighed, looking down at the table, tracing the sparkling silver threads in the red and green plaid tablecloth with the fingers on her free hand.

"Do you miss him?" Charlie's voice was soft.

"Every moment of every day," she squeezed her eyes shut at the painful thought. "Does that make you disappointed in me?"

He squeezed her hand. "I still miss your mother every minute of every day, Bells."

Bella opened her eyes slowly. In the most recent of weeks, she'd learned so much about her father that she'd never known, paramount of all was how amazing a human being he really was.

"Then why'd you let her go," she exhaled.

"Because I loved her."

"But," she took a deep breath, trying to calm her shaking voice. "But, if you loved her, then how did you~how could you~just let her leave?"

"How did you let Edward leave?"

"He…he had to go."

"So did your mother."

"But…"

"But what? Bells, I loved your mother, but she…," he shook his head. "She was just miserable here. She wanted to be near her folks. She wanted to be in the sun. I couldn't ask her to stay. I loved her too much to ask her to stay."

A tear fell from her eye. "But…it made you so sad for her to leave."

"But it made her happy to go," he shifted in his chair and leaned closer to her, lacing his fingers with hers. "Don't you see? I didn't want her to be so miserable, Bells. I wanted her to be happy. And if leaving me made her happy, then so be it. My joy came from knowing she was happy, and, by extension, knowing that you were too."

"You missed so much with me because she wanted to leave."

"But look at what I'm getting now," he smiled and leaned forward, kissing her on her forehead. "I'm getting the best part now."

"Does it make me a bad person for wishing Edward hadn't gone?"

"No, Bells," he smiled sadly at her. "It just makes you human."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

He made his way down the narrow staircase that led directly to the kitchen. He wasn't in the mood to wander through the grand majesty of this house while wallowing in his own remorse. He was simply on a quest for something to settle down the uproar that was his sickened stomach.

He'd made out with Victoria…and called her Bella. Surely, there was no more horrific crime against humanity than this.

He ran his hand through his hair, sighing as he shook his head. He was a horrible person, and he didn't deserve Bella or the love that she had so willingly given to him. He was lucky that he'd had her for as long as he had, and he was grateful for their time together. If he lived to be a hundred, he would probably never be that happy again. Nor did he deserve to be, and he had no one to blame for that but himself.

He rounded the corner of the narrow stairwell and saw a dim glow of light coming from the kitchen. He wasn't the only one up at this hour.

Edward stepped into the kitchen with his head down. He knew that, regardless of who it was that was up, he was in deep trouble.

"Edward Anthony Cullen!"

He looked up to see not only his mother, but Jenks and his wife sitting around the breakfast table, the low light of the small, black fixture that hung over the table casting a sepia like luminescence throughout the huge kitchen. A quick glance at the glowing numbers on the microwave told him that it was almost four thirty in the morning. And it was going to be even worse than he had anticipated

"Mom," he mumbled softly as he shuffled toward the table, ready to swallow the last shreds of his pride and beg for forgiveness.

"Sit down, Edward," Esme's voice was shaky and cold.

"Mom, I—"

"Sit _down_, Edward," Mom was clearly in control.

"Yes, ma'am," he pulled out the chair nearest to him and sat down, still not meeting any of the eyes staring at him. If there was one thing in his life that was unforgivable, it was disappointing his mother. She was the person who had always had the most faith in him. The one person who always, without fail, gave him the benefit of the doubt and supported him with unwavering devotion. And in one short evening, he'd shattered it all, not realizing until now how fragile a thing faith could be.

"Would you like to explain to me exactly what the hell went on tonight?"

"I…I don't know," he whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"I said I don't know," he clasped his hands tightly in his lap and stared down at them, seeing nothing.

"Edward, in light of the condition that Mr. Jenks found you in tonight, I think that I need to advise you that I this may not be the best time for you to decide to start lying to me," her voice was steady as she lifted a mug of coffee to her lips.

He took a deep breath, resigned in the fact that he had to tell her, and tell her everything…everything that he could remember.

"Where do you want me to start?"

"How about at the beginning?"

He looked up slowly, meeting the icy blue stare of his mother and saw the depth of her disappointment in him.

"I'm sorry, Mom," he whispered, his lower lip trembling as he felt on the verge of tears.

"Edward," his stalling was obvious to her. "You are beginning to try my patience."

He took a deep breath and started his story. "Well, I went to that party with Victoria, just like you wanted me to."

"Oh no," she shook a manicured finger in his face. "You do _not_ get to turn this on _me_, young man! You know the difference between right and wrong, so I'm not going to stand for any of that nonsense."

He nodded feebly. "Yes, ma'am."

"Just so that you are understanding me, mister. Mr. Jenks has told me what he witnessed at that party and how he found you. So don't think that you're going to snow me in any way, because you won't," she fumed. He couldn't remember ever seeing his mother this furious, not even after Whistler. "Now, continue~and without editorializing, please."

"Ok," he let out a shaky breath and continued in a low voice. "It turned out that the party was at Marcus Green's house."

"Marcus Green? You don't mean the same boy that you were friends with at The Latin School, do you," she looked at him, surprised.

"Yep," he nodded slowly. "The same guy. And he's still friends with Benjamin and Peter. They were there too."

"Well, Edward, your little stroke of serendipity, as amazing as it is, is all well and good, but what does it have to do with the state that Jenks found you in," she sipped at her coffee again, waving away the pot when Tanya Jenks offered her more.

"Well, Marcus thought we should all celebrate our little group being all together again," he looked down. "So he led us up to his step father's den."

"And that's the room you found him in, Jenks?"

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen."

"What did you do in that room, Edward," it wasn't a question as much as it was a demand, a demand for an answer he knew he didn't want to give her.

"We talked some, then we had some bourbon."

"Is that all you drank?"

"No, ma'am. I had a couple of beers before that."

"How many drinks did you have altogether, Edward," her blue eyes pierced into him like cold, steel daggers.

"I don't remember, Mom."

"Continue," she looked away from him.

"Then, after we had the drinks, Marcus pulled out some pot."

"So, you're telling me that, on top of the alcohol you consumed~and might I remind you, you are still under age, mister~you smoked marijuana?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Is this a habit of yours?"

"No, not at all, Mom."

"Was that the only drug that you took?"

"I…I'm not sure," he twisted his fingers into knots, the pain of his knuckles bending backward doing nothing to distract from the humiliation he now faced. His head pounded a driving rhythm of self hatred.

"Explain." He could tell his mother was now beyond furious with him. If there was one thing she had always stressed to him, it was her hate for drug use. Her voice was still calm and smooth, but the sentences were short and demanding. It wouldn't be long until she announced to the world how disappointed in him she was, and her disappointment was the worst punishment he could possibly imagine.

"I…I remember Marcus had a bag of…stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah…I guess it was coke," he shrugged. "By that time, I was pretty wasted and about all I remember was him taking out the baggie, so I don't know if I did any of that, or if I just took a few hits of the pot."

"That's when you passed out?"

"That's all I remember, so I guess so."

"Are you being honest with me," she reached out and grabbed his jaw in her hand, forcing him to look up at her. She gripped him hard, fingers digging into the meat of his cheeks as she stared at him with her cold rage. "If you are lying about this, so help me, Edward," she seethed at him before yanking her hand away and letting go of him, leaving the red evidence of her anger on his face.

"I'm not lying, Mom," he sighed, feeling on the verge of tears again. "I swear I don't remember anything from that point until I woke up here in my bed."

"He was completely passed out when I found him, Mrs. Cullen," Jenks supported Edward's claim.

"Thank you, Jenks," Esme nodded at him, then sighed, turning to face her son. "You do realize I'm going to have to tell your father. We will have to decide the appropriate punishment for you, Edward. And make no mistake, you will be punished for this little escapade of yours." As much as she hated punishing her beautiful boy, she knew that his conduct was inexcusable, especially now that he was responsible for the beautiful little boy sleeping in his crib in her bedroom. "However, until that time, you are not to leave this house without myself or Mr. Jenks, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," he looked down at his lap again where his fingers twisted nervously.

"I don't think I have to tell you how very disappointed I am in you, Edward," her voice was softer now, the hurt almost palpable in it. "I would never have expected this sort of thing from you," tears shone in her eyes. "You, Edward. My sweet, beautiful baby boy. I'm so disillusioned right now."

He continued to look down, unable to meet her eyes, unable to swallow down the lump that had formed in his throat.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Edward," she whispered.

He swallowed again and looked up, tears drifting down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Mom."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**Poor Edward...can't seem to catch a break, can he? **

**On an unrelated note, I had a dealing at work with someone named Edward...and I smirked all through our phone conversation...because I had to wonder if he knew about _our_ Edward LOL **

**I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter. I will try to be a little more prompt with the next update...keep your fingers crossed, since the holidays are bearing down upon us and I have a long weekend away coming up LOL**

**Thanks again to everyone who's reading this little story. Thank you for sticking with me! If you liked this chapter, or even if you didn't, let me know and hit that little review button down there. And if you really liked it...tell a friend or two to check it out!**


	31. Chapter 31: We're A Happy Family

**FINALLY!**

**I can't tell you how bad things have been in real life...not that this is any excuse for me not updating in so lng. But, if it makes any difference...I'm WAY behind in my fanfic reading as well. And I mean _chapters_ behind LOL I hope to have at least one more chapter up this week. It will probably be a short one, but I'll try to squeeze in writing between cleaning, wrapping, baking and cooking. And, I'm on vacation this week...but I have to go in tomorrow because I stupidly offered to do something...and seriously, in hindsight, I should have never done that. But that's another story for another day. Right now, I'm just thrilled that I got this up :D**

**So, let's handle business first:**

**Twilight, its characters and its situations do not belong to me. They are the property of the very lucky Stephenie Meyer who owns Edward...but not in the same way most of us want to own him ;)**

**Please read and enjoy~**

* * *

**Chapter 31: We're A Happy Family**

"Dad, don't forget Alice is coming for dinner tonight so we can give each other our Christmas gifts before she leaves in the morning," Bella stood at the counter in the kitchen, filling two large mugs with hot steaming coffee. It was the day before Christmas Eve, the last day of school until after the new year. The last day she would get to spend with her best friend, who would be leaving on a jet plane the next day headed to Chicago, and, of course, to Edward.

Charlie padded into the kitchen silently, wearing only a pair of thick red socks on his feet. "I remember, Bells," he said as he softly placed something on the table. She heard the paper bag rattling.

"What do you have there," she inquired as she turned and brought the mugs to the table.

"Well, I was wondering if maybe you'd have some time before Alice got here to do a little bit of wrapping for me," he asked sheepishly.

"What am I wrapping," she peered into the tattered shopping bag that sat on the table.

"It's just a couple of gifts I picked up for the Cullen's," he looked down at his feet.

"Aw, Dad, that's so sweet," she smiled at him warmly. "I already picked up stuff for us to give them, but this is just so cool. What did you get them?"

Charlie reached into the bag and pulled out a small square box. "This is for Alice. I don't know if she'll like it, but I saw it while I was shopping for you, and it made me think of her."

Bella took the box from her father's hand and opened it. Inside sat a sparkling set of slim silver bangles stacked up one on top of the other. Bangles that just happened to match the earrings that Bella had gotten for her friend. She began to laugh.

"Oh God," Charlie looked crestfallen. "She has these already, doesn't she?"

"No," Bella giggled. "But she's going to have the matching earrings, because that's what I got her."

"You're kidding," Charlie's mustache twitched up at the tips as he smiled broadly.

"Nope," she shook her head. "So she damn well better like them."

"If she's got any taste other than what's in her mouth, she will," Charlie laughed. "By the way, should we order a couple of pizzas for tonight so you don't have to cook?"

"That'd be cool," Bella smiled as she reached into the bag and pulled out another small box. She opened it up. "Guitar picks?"

"Look at them closely," his smile grew so much that the corners of his eyes crinkled up.

She sifted through the box of shiny, multicolored celluloid. "These all have Jasper's name on them," she exclaimed in surprise.

"Found this place online that does custom guitar picks," Charlie was proud of himself. "I know he played for Alice all the time before the accident, so once his shoulder is all healed, he'll have these to use."

"Damn, Swan, you sure do know how to surprise me," she stared at him in disbelief. "What do you have up that plaid flannel sleeve of yours for me?"

"Ah, but we promised we wouldn't tell, remember," he lowered himself into his chair, leaning his elbows on the table as he did, unable to hid his grin.

"Have I mentioned how badly you suck," she deadpanned.

"That's why I'm the Dad," he snorted as he picked up his mug, inhaling the warm aroma as he did. "Mmmm," he took a sip. "You make a good cup of joe, kid.

She smiled at him and reached into the bag again. "Yeah, and if there's one thing cops, know, it's their joe." Charlie snorted as she pulled her hand out of the bag. This time she came up with a slim box much like the box that held her gift to Carlisle and Esme. Charlie had picked up a beautiful picture frame for them, encrusted with amber jewels.

"It matches the colors in their dining room," he smiled.

"I got them a picture frame too," she laughed. "But the one I got them is for a baby boy's picture."

"That's good," he nodded. "I figured they'd have a load of new pictures to frame, you know?"

"Yeah," she agreed. She was so much like her father, and she hadn't even realized it until now.

She reached into the bag, pulling out the final item, staring at it wide eyed.

"Um…Dad?"

Charlie sipped his coffee, without looking up. "It's special to us, ok?"

Bella held the dvd in her hand and waved it at him. "So, it's _your_ movie, is it?"

Her father smirked. "I figured he could use a good laugh or two, Bells."

She stared at the copy of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. "Yeah, I'm glad you want to cheer up the giant braying ass who broke your daughter's heart."

"Now, Bells," Charlie still didn't look up at her, instead continuing to sip his coffee. "What did _you_ get him?"

Bella was taken aback. How did he know? How could he possibly know?

"I…I…what do you mean what did I get him?"

"I think the question is perfectly clear, kiddo," he set his mug down and leaned back in his chair, watching as his daughter stood uncomfortably in front of him.

"I…I…why would I get him anything? What makes you think I got him anything," she demanded, suddenly self conscious.

"Because you love him."

"But…I…," she looked away, and sighed, knowing she was beaten. She lowered he eyes. "I got him this little silver frame and I put a picture of him with Alec in it." Her voice was small.

"You have a picture of the baby?" Charlie couldn't mask his surprise.

She nodded solemnly. "Alice sent it to me."

"Can I see?"

"Sure," she sighed again. "I have another—"Dammit! He always did this to her, got her to say things she didn't mean to say.

"I'd like to see what he looks like," Charlie smiled to himself. While he was glad it was someone else's daughter Edward had knocked up, he had to admit the was curious to see what kind of babies the bronze haired wonder would make.

* * *

Edward sat on the bench outside the kitchen door, puffing on his third cigarette of the hour. In the days since the party, his world had once more been turned on its side. His mother was speaking to him, but only when absolutely necessary and she barely looked at him, even when necessary. While he knew he'd disappointed her before, he couldn't think of a time when she'd ever turned away from him. Not like this. This time, it was different.

"Edward," the top half of the kitchen's split Dutch door swung open as the butler stuck his head out into the frozen December weather.

"Yes, sir?"

"You can mop the kitchen now." And the top half of the door clicked shut.

Since that night, since he'd lost the trust of his mother, he'd been punished. He'd had chores to do, chores that normally fell to Jenks. This had been his mother's decision, her 'for now' punishment, as she called it. His real punishment awaited his father's arrival in Chicago. Until then, there would be no more "Master Edward". No more hugs and kisses from Mom. No more Jenks chauffeuring him around. And no more Jenks. He was to call him "Mr. Jenks" and Tanya was "Mrs. Jenks". His mother didn't even allow him to be responsible for Alec anymore. _If you can't be responsible for yourself, Edward, how am I to trust you with that beautiful child?_

He let out a humorless snort and took a final drag from his cigarette, snuffing it out in the little sand bucket Jenks had put next to the bench for him, before heading inside to finish his chores. If this were prison, he would be on the janitorial staff, he surmised. The washing of the floors, as well as the bathrooms, was now all his.

He couldn't lie, not even to himself. Everything that he was getting had been well deserved, well earned. He'd proven he couldn't be trusted. He'd entered a dark labyrinth on Thanksgiving day, and he'd become horribly lost within it, sinking deeper and deeper into despair, unable to keep his head above it any longer.

He pulled his lanky form from the bench with a groan and went back into the warm kitchen, shedding his jacket and gloves and hanging them on a hook by the door. The mop and bucket awaited him.

"Be sure to get the mop along the baseboards," Jenks commanded.

"Yes, sir," he mumbled as he sloshed the mop into the water and began the task.

"Don't forget the hallway," Jenks called from where he stood preparing a chicken for the evening's dinner.

"Yes, sir."

His father would be arriving the following day, and with him would come Alice. Alice, his lifeline. He couldn't wait to see her, to hear from her any news at all that she would share about Bella. It didn't matter to him what sentence his father determined to be an adequate penance for his actions at the party. All that mattered was Bella.

He'd been a fool.

He had the best thing ever, and he shot it all to hell. All because he was too immature to handle the challenges that life tossed in his path. What made him think that his life would be any different from anyone else's? For that matter, why should it be different? What made him think he was so damn special?

What would his life have been like if Carlisle and Esme had decided that since they couldn't have the baby of their own that they desperately wanted, they would just live their lives without children? No, his parents had stared down the roadblock that life chucked in front of them, and his parents had won.

And their reward for their bravery was a son who couldn't be trusted. A son who caused them endless grief and aggravation. A son who seemed to be determined as all hell to destroy everything they had built as a family.

He lowered his head as he swept the wet mop along the glossy bricks. He had always loved this floor as a child.

"Press on the mop, Edward. You're not going to get the dirt off by just waving the mop around over it like it's Harry Potter's wand," Jenks voice broke him from his thoughts.

"Yes, sir."

"You can use the small vacuum on the smaller staircase," Jenks motioned toward the small service staircase that led directly into the kitchen from the upstairs rooms.

"Yes, sir."

"And your mother doesn't like the way the boxwood swags are laying on the mantle in the living room," the old man's voice was detached. "She would like to celebrate Christmas morning in there, and she wants the décor to be just so, so she would like for you to take them down and fix them properly."

"Yes, sir."

He knew he would end up with a backache from vacuuming the staircase. It was narrow and steep. And fiddling with the Christmas decorations would only exasperate the pain further. But, it was a pain that he knew he deserved. A pain that he looked forward to. Edward had always retreated when things became difficult. When Rose accused him and his mother of having an inappropriate relationship, he'd closed himself off from her, and from the rest of the family. When the chips were down, he'd shut out Bella. When responsibilities became too much…he'd fallen back on bad habits. This time…this time things would be different. He would take his medicine. Face the music like a man, and prove his mettle. He would show everyone what kind of a man Edward Cullen could be.

* * *

Five uneaten crusts littered the plate in front of Alice Cullen. She sat back in her chair, licking her greasy fingers with a contented look on her face.

"Jesus, Alice. Had I known what a pig you were, I would have ordered a few extra pies."

"Oh hush, Bella," Alice tossed a glare in her direction. "I didn't eat the whole slice. I left the crusts."

Charlie snorted and Alice's glare changed direction.

"Seriously, Alice, how do you stay so slim," Charlie rested his elbows on the table, clasping his hands together in front of his chin, staring at the tiny girl with wonder. "You don't go and…you know…" he gestured a finger into his mouth.

"Ew Charlie! That's gross," Alice's nose crinkled at the suggestion.

"Well, you have to admit, Alice…you do eat like…like…"

"A pig," Charlie finished for his daughter.

Alice stretched and a hearty burp escaped her lips. "Oh," her eyes bugged out as she slapped a tiny hand over her mouth. "I'm so sorry! Please excuse me!"

"You're excused," Charlie grinned at her.

"You're both just jealous that I have a fast metabolism," she sniffed as she picked up her dish and headed toward the sink with it. "Where is your disposal switch?"

"Our disposal is right there, Alice," Bella pointed toward the tall yellow kitchen trash can that sat in the corner.

"You don't have a disposal?"

Charlie chuckled. "Alice, take a look around. This isn't exactly a modern kitchen."

"Oh," she skipped over to the trash can. "There's nothing wrong with this kitchen, Charlie," she slid her crusts into the white plastic bag that lined the can.

"Everything's wrong with this kitchen, Alice."

"Well," she slipped her dinner plate into the sink and flounced back to the table, sitting back down. "I like it fine," she sipped the remains of her cola. "Can we go open our gifts now?"

Charlie looked at Bella. "I guess…we're all done eating, right?"

Bella nodded. "I'm stuffed…are you done, Alice? I mean, you burped, so you might be hungry again. There are a few slices left."

Alice crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not a pig," she sniffed.

"I never said you were," Bella pushed her chair out from the table and stood. "He did," she pointed her finger at her father.

"Hey," Charlie held his hands out in front of himself defensively. "I only repeated what you said," he was having trouble hiding his smirk.

"Never mind," Alice slid her chair back and stood up. "I want to go open our presents now."

They settled into the living room, the massive tree glowing in all of it's fuchsia and lime green glory.

Alice flopped down on the floor, sitting cross legged in front of the tree. "I love how this tree came," she cooed. "I really like that we used feathers instead of garlands. And the black crystals just totally make it all pop," she said admiringly.

"It's a beauty," Charlie eased into his favorite chair, letting out a contented sigh as he did.

"I like it too," Bella smiled, reaching for a small stack of gifts wrapped in the same colors that festooned the tree.

Alice clapped her hands. "Yay! Presents!"

"You are so easy," Bella giggled as she flopped down next to her friend. "Ok, these two are for you."

"Weeee!" Alice grabbed the two small boxes from Bella and tilted her head to the side, shaking the boxes one at a time. "Ooo! This one jingles!"

"Surprise! We got you loose change," Charlie hooted from his perch.

"Very funny, Charlie," Alice scowled at him as she put the two boxes to the side and stood up. "I just remembered that I left something in the car."

"Huh?" Bella looked confused. "What are these two boxes then?"

"Those are for you. Charlie's is in the car," she called from the front door.

"Mine's in the car," Charlie looked at his daughter, eyebrow raised.

"I have no idea, Dad," she shrugged. "You know Alice."

A moment later, Alice returned carrying what looked to be an extremely long tube of wrapping paper.

"Merry Christmas from the Cullen's," she smiled as she handed it to Charlie.

"Oh my," Charlie held the item delicately.

"What the hell is that," Bella craned her neck from her spot on the floor to see

"Open it," Alice stood in front of Charlie, bouncing up and down.

"Well, ok," Charlie took a deep breath and gently ripped the silver and red paper, stopping dead in his tracks as he revealed the item beneath.

"Alice…"

"Oh my God! Dad!"

Charlie stood holding a brand new fishing rod. He smiled broadly. "Thank you, Alice."

"You're welcome. Here," she pushed one of the two boxes that sat next to Bella toward him. "This goes with it."

"Hey, I thought that was mine," Bella pouted.

"So I lied," Alice shrugged. "Sue me."

"Alice, the rod was more than enough."

"And this goes with it," she smiled.

Charlie rolled his eyes and unwrapped the box.

"Oh, Alice…I can't. This is just too much," he held a new reel in his hand.

"It's from the whole family, Charlie. Not just me," she looked at him with her big dark eyes.

"But still, sweetie, this is just…."

"It's just right."

"Alice, I know how much this reel costs, and it's too much."

"It's just right. Besides, after all that you've done for my family, it's really not nearly enough."

"Thank you, Alice," he stood up and hugged the tiny girl tightly. "And thank your parents, please."

"I will," she dropped down on the carpet next to Bella, pushing the remaining box toward her. "Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Thanks, Alice," Bella took the box from her friend.

The two girls tore into their gifts with gusto. Alice got her first box opened before Bella had even gotten her wrapping paper halfway off, and screamed loudly.

"Oh my God! These are the earrings I liked when we were in Port Angeles," she screamed right in Bella's ear.

"Yep," Bella held her hand over her offended ear as she laughed at Alice's excitement.

"Thank you," Alice wrapped her slender arms around Bella's shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug.

"You're welcome," Bella laughed as she rubbed her still ringing ear.

"Then what's this? Is this really spare change," she looked at Charlie with a puzzled look on her face.

"Open it and find out," the tips of his dark moustache curled up as he smiled.

Alice tore into the second package with the glee of a five year old.

"Oh oh oh oh oh," she exclaimed. "The bracelets that match the earrings!" She slipped the glistening bangles onto her small wrist and bolted to her feet, throwing herself at an unsuspecting Charlie. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"You're welcome," Charlie laughed, hugging her back.

"This is my favorite Christmas ever," she gushed, turning to look at Bella, who still sat with her half unwrapped gift in her lap.

"Well? Aren't you going to open it already?"

"Oh…yeah. Sorry, I got lost in your excitement," she snickered as she pulled the rest of the paper from the box. "Ooo…it's from Goff's," she joked as she pulled the top off the box.

"Unless we go into Seattle, it's really the only place to shop around here," Alice had returned to her spot on the floor next to her friend.

Bella pulled the delicate tissue paper away and gasped. "Oh, Alice…it's…it's….beautiful!"

She pulled a black cable knit sweater from the box, it's cowl neck falling softly as she did. "It's…beautiful!"

Bella stood up, holding the sweater up against herself.

"What do you think, Dad?"

"It's beautiful, Bells."

"It's so soft. It's like, angora or something," she rubbed the sleeve against her cheek.

"It's cashmere," Alice grinned.

"Cashmere? Alice, that's too expensive!"

"Oh, hush! You're my best friend! If I don't buy cashmere for you, who am I going to buy it for?"

Bella dropped to her knees and threw her arms around Alice, hugging her in the glow of the tree. "Thank you, Alice. You're my best friend too."

* * *

Edward sat in his comfortable blue chair. He was supposed to be reading Macbeth. Instead, he watched the hands on his clock move ever so slowly.

Their flight should have landed over an hour ago, but with Chicago weather being what it was, delays were a way of life.

He fidgeted and tried to concentrate on his book. He was as caught up in his studies as he could possibly be, but he knew it was still better if he gave his mother a wide birth. God only knew what was in store for him once his father arrived. He knew he had disappointed them both, and broke one of the cardinal rules of the house. He would no doubt get exactly what he deserved.

Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes, trying to calm his nerves with thoughts of Bella. Bella, who haunted his every waking moment and most of his sleeping ones as well.

Noise from downstairs woke him with a start, noticing that it was now dark outside and there was a pain in his neck from having fallen asleep in the wrong position in his chair.

Slowly, he made his way downstairs, where a reunion of Cullen's was taking place. He stood at the top of the grand staircase and looked down, watching his mother hug and kiss Alice and Jasper as she spoke animatedly to her children. He felt a pang of remorse. She barely looked at him these days. He was pretty certain there were no hugs from his mother in his future.

Alice happened to glance up and caught sight of him.

"Edward," she exclaimed with excitement. Obviously, word of his latest foray into trouble hadn't reached her yet.

Smiling in spite of himself, he made his way down the stairs to the entrance foyer. Alice slammed into him as soon as he reached the bottom, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

"Edward," she yelled into his ear excitedly. "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, Alice," he hugged her back, not looking at his parents as he did.

"I have so much to tell you," she stepped back from him and bounced up and down, hands clasped over her heart.

"Same here," he forced himself to smile at her.

"So when do I meet him?"

Edward finally looked at his mother, caution in his eyes. Since the party, she'd taken over everything having to do with Alec. What else could he do?

"Tomorrow. He's coming in the afternoon for his Christmas," Esme smiled as she took her husbands coat from him and handed it to the butler.

"Oh my gosh I can't wait," Alice clasped her hands together as her eyes glinted with excitement. "I have so many awesome things for him!"

"I bet you do," Esme laughed.

"She's been driving Dad and I crazy with all the shopping," Jasper laughed as Edward helped him off with his coat.

"Shoulder's still sore?"

"Yeah, but at least that weird sling's gone finally."

"Well, that's something then."

Jasper looked at Edward, brows knit together. "Yeah, it's something."

Edward turned away quickly, taking Jasper's coat and hanging it in the coat closet in the hallway.

"Edward," Esme called.

"Yeah, Mom?"

"Take everyone's bags up to their rooms, please," her tone was cool.

Alice looked from her brother to her mother, confusion on her face.

"Sure," he leaned down to pick up Alice and Jasper's bags.

"And Edward," his father's voice made him look up. It was the first time he had been addressed by him. "Meet your mother and I in your grandfather's study in twenty minutes," Carlisle's voice had a cool detachment to it.

"Yes, sir," Edward looked at his feet. His parents were wasting no time doling out his real punishment.

Carlisle wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders and they walked toward the kitchen together.

"Edward, what the hell is going on," Jasper followed Edward and his bag up the stairs with Alice trailing behind, watching her parents disappear.

"Nothing."

"Edward," Alice ran quickly up the steps until she reached the top of the landing and stood in front of him as he reached the top step. "Don't lie to us. What is going on?"

He sighed as he led the way to her bedroom. "I fucked up again." He brought her suitcase into the room and put it on the bed, sitting down next to it. "What else is new?"

Alice's face fell in disappointment. "You didn't…she's not…oh…Edward."

"No, I didn't knock Victoria up again," he closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"Then what is it," Jasper put his hand on Alice's shoulder. "Edward, talk to us."

"I went to a party with Victoria. I didn't want to go, but Mom thought it'd be good for me to get out. So I went."

"You got drunk?"

"You could say that."

"Oh, Edward," Alice moved to the bed and sat down next to her brother, taking his hand.

"You remember that kid I used to hang out with? Marcus Green?"

"The kid with the white hair?"

"It's blonde," he snorted.

"Yeah, I remember him. He was kind of a smart ass. Why?"

"Well, the party turned out to be at his house."

"How random."

"Yeah."

"Wait…who's this kid," Jasper interjected.

"He's just someone Edward used to be friends with when we lived here. I never really liked him. There was just something creepy about him and his white hair," Alice shuddered. "Made me think of that white haired Harry Potter kid."

"Malfoy?"

"Yeah, him," Alice shuddered. "He always creeped me out."

Edward ignored her. "Anyway, he's still friends with Benjamin and Peter. Remember them?"

"Yeah. I always had a crush on Benji," Alice giggled.

"Benji," Jasper shook his head.

"He was cute."

"He's got Justin Bieber hair now."

"Oh God no."

"Oh God yes. And he's kind of plump."

Jasper let out a hoot.

"Stop it Jazz! It's not funny," she sniffed. "Let Edward continue his story."

Jasper sat down on the other side of Edward.

"Well, we kind of…celebrated our reunion."

"Oh, Edward…you know how Mom and Dad feel about that sort of thing."

"I know, Alice. It wasn't a conscious decision," he shook his head. "I mean, it just sort of happened."

"Was it bad?"

"I passed out."

"Shit," Jasper looked surprised. "You never passed out back in Seattle."

"Wait…what?" Alice looked at her them both. "What do you mean back in Seattle?"

Edward looked down at the floor, feeling the color rising in his cheeks. "Back when I was on the ball team, we sort of used to party a little."

"So you were what? Drinking and doing what? Smoking pot?"

Edward nodded.

"Oh, Edward," her voice was filled with disappointment. "How could you do that to Mom?"

"It wasn't like I did it a lot," he protested. "It was just a couple of tokes, that's all."

"Still. That was a couple too many," she crossed her arms over her chest. "And you," she glared at Jasper. "You knew?"

"I was friends with some of the same guys, babe."

"Oh, I'll deal with you later," she waved a hand dismissively at him. "Go on, Edward. Tell us the rest of it."

Edward relayed the rest of his story somberly.

"Seriously, Edward, Jenks is all kinds of awesome. The last thing he should have to worry about doing is carrying your stoned, passed out ass home."

"I won't argue with that, Alice," he sighed. "What I did was wrong. I know that, and I'm willing to take my punishment like a man."

"What do you think will happen," Jasper's face wore a look of concern.

"I don't know," he shook his head. "Right now, I can't go out without Mom or Jenks. And I have a lot of chores to do here. I do a lot of mopping and scrubbing."

"Is that going to carry over when you get home?"

Edward shrugged. "I have no idea. I'm guessing I'll be grounded for a while. I mean, it's not like I have any sort of social life anyway, and what little I had, well, I destroyed that a while ago, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Alice nodded. "And you destroyed her right along with it."

"Alice," Jasper shook his head. "This isn't the time for that."

"Sorry."

"It's ok," Edward took his sister's hand. "I deserve it. I've fucked up. Not just for me, but I've fucked up for Bella and for Alec."

"You're the only one with the power to make it all right, Edward," Alice's voice was soft as she looked lovingly at her brother. "I have faith in you, you know, even if you don't."

"Thanks, Alice," he kissed her cheek. "I'm going to do everything I can to make it up to all of them," he stood up, turning toward the door. "And I'm going to start right now with making it up to Mom and Dad."

* * *

Bella lounged on the sofa, immersed in A Christmas Story, playing continuously on TBS for twenty four hours.

"Hey Bells," Charlie clomped down the stairs and stepped into the living room.

"What's up, Dad," she didn't turn from the television, giggling as Flick's tongue stuck to the flag pole on a dare.

"This what you're doing tonight?"

"Yep. All the gifts are wrapped and my prep work for dinner tomorrow is all done. This is on for twenty four hours and I intend to watch every minute of it."

He sat down on the sofa next to her. "SO, what's the menu for tomorrow?"

"I have some appetizers…with meat," she glanced at him. "Because it's Christmas and all."

Charlie laughed. "Just what I asked Santa for."

"Yeah, the jolly old elf himself told me you wanted meat for Christmas," she snickered at the tv. "Hee! Scut Farkus and his yellow eyes!"

"So…what kind of meat did you get," Charlie could feel the saliva pooling in his mouth as he anticipated the prospect of once again eating meat in his own home.

"I dunno. It's these little frozen puffed pastry things that we had at Jess's party. I helped Mrs. Stanley bake them all night. Alice loved them," she smiled at her father. "Hey, why are you all dressed up?"

"For Midnight Mass."

She stared at her father. "I didn't know we were Catholic."

"Well," Charlie ran his hand through his hair as he leaned back on the sofa next to Bella. "We Christened you, but we never really, well…we didn't really practice our religion."

"So when'd you get so…religious?"

"Past few years, I've been going to church whenever I could."

"That's pretty cool, Dad," she smiled and took his hand. "I wish I'd known that."

"Do…do you want to come with me?"

"I…I don't know."

"It may make you feel better," he squeezed her hand. "And I think you'll like Father Caius."

Her eyes grew big. "You think?"

Charlie nodded at his daughter. "Yeah. He's pretty good. Makes me feel better every time. There's…there's hope in that place at Christmas."

Her brows knit together. "I could use a little hope…and maybe some prayers."

"This is the season for miracles, Bells," he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

"I could use a miracle," she sighed. "Just a small one."

* * *

"I know I don't have to tell you how very disappointed your mother and I are in you, Edward."

"No, sir, you don't."

He sat in the stiff leather chair opposite his grandfather's giant mahogany desk, which Carlisle sat behind, hands folded calmly in front of him. His mother sat in the chair next to him.

"And I have no doubt your grandfather would be even more disappointed in you than we are. He lost his son and daughter in law~your parents~to drug abuse," he sighed heavily. "To think that his beloved grandson was following their poor example is simply unconscionable."

"I'm not following their example, Dad. It was just one time."

"And that's an excuse for what you have done? Edward, you are making a mess of your life. Sure, it's just once this time. But what is it the next time? Is it that you needed to unwind? Or it was a party? Or everyone else was doing it? There's always some way of justifying it, and then what, Edward? What is it then?"

Edward looked at his mother, who sat next to him quietly crying. She gripped a crumpled, soggy tissue in her fist. She'd obviously been crying for a while. His heart broke.

"I'm not my mother or father," he whispered, head bowed. He looked up at his father. "And I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused. I promise I'll try harder. For you and Mom…and for Alec."

"For your own sake, and for the sake of that precious child, I hope you are sincere in that promise, Edward," Carlisle's voice cracked, and he cleared his throat before speaking again. "Now, your mother and I have discussed this and we've decided that you are to be grounded for the rest of the school year."

Edward sat with his jaw set, taking his punishment like the man he wanted to be.

"You will not use the car unless it's to go to school or to work. There will be no parties, Edward," he sighed, shaking his head. "Because we can't trust you."

"Yes, sir," he lowered his eyes, drawing a deep breath in through his nose. He could feel his legs and hands tremble. The very last thing he ever wanted was to do anything that would make his parents lose their trust in him. And he had done just that.

* * *

**So there you have it...Bella doing what I intend to be doing Friday night =D**

**I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Like I said, I hope to get another short chapter up this week. I thank everyone who has been reading my little story and invite you to press the review button and let me know what you think!**

**And if you liked what you read, tell a friend :)**

**Once again, thanks to everyone who's reading and I promise to try harder to update more frequently =D**


	32. Chapter 32: A Room With a View

**Ok, I'd been toying with the idea of a short chapter about the banished Rose and Emmett, and I decided that this would be a good time to slip one in. It's just a little chapter...a bonus of sorts to make up for my lax updating schedule. It doesn't even have a Ramone's themed title. It's just a little something that I hope you enjoy :)**

**business: Twilight, it's characters, situations and themes do not belong to me. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer, who I'm sure is having a much better Yuletide than moi, since she's not out of a job on March 1 like I am. ho ho ho...no.**

**Hope you enjoy~**

* * *

**Chapter 32: A Room With a View**

Rosalie paced slowly around the small, rustic room at the Forked Inn, furious at her situation.

It wasn't a bad room, really, if you liked your rooms to look like log cabins, which is exactly what the rooms at the Forked Inn looked like. The walls were highly varnished logs, the furnishings made from rustically hewn wood, the curtains a dark forest green burlap like fabric, which matched the covering on the bed.

A small rough wooden table stood in front of the only window in the room, a large plate glass picture window that didn't open, flanked by stiff red Naugahyde upholstered chairs.

It was on this table that Emmett had placed their tiny artificial tree~the one he'd purchased at the drug store for twelve dollars. It had twinkling colored lights on it and a few small wrapped presents stacked next to it, and he'd strung thick red and green glittering garland around it. There was so much garland wrapped around the tree that he hadn't had room for any ornaments. He'd taken care of that by stringing white twinkling icicle lights around the perimeter of the room, as well as outlining the entire window with flashing white lights wrapped around silver garland. Glistening red and green plastic balls hung at regular intervals from the light wires around the room and from the garland in the window.

"I can't believe we have to spend Christmas alone in this hole," Rosalie grumbled.

Emmett was lying on the bed, reading the newspaper.

"What do you mean, Babe," he looked surprised.

"What do I mean," she turned to look at him as she repeated his words. "What do I mean? I mean I can't believe we have to spend Christmas in this dump, instead of in our warm house with...family! That's what I mean, you idiot."

"Don't get pissed at me, Rose. It's not _my_ fault we've been banished to this place, remember," his eyebrows rose dramatically.

"Don't you even start that with me again," she winced as she folded her arms across her chest. It had been nearly two months since the accident, but she was still feeling the effects. Her broken bones had healed, but she was still receiving intensive physical therapy, for which Carlisle was paying.

"Just stating a fact," he shrugged his shoulders. "But, hey, it's not so bad here. We have a tree and lights. Presents. And they serve a really awesome Christmas dinner in the restaurant here. I've already made our reservations for dinner."

"Only you would see any part of this situation as being awesome," she slowly sat down on the bed next to him. "We weren't even invited to any parties at school this year, and we're always invited to every party those little moron's throw."

"You hate their parties, Rose. You say they are as lame as the people throwing them. You say so every year," Emmett folded the newspaper closed and tossed it onto the nightstand. "Besides, we never go to any of them anyway."

"But that's not the point. The point is we used to be popular, Em," she gently slid her legs up onto the bed, and laid her head on the pillows, stretching out next to him, grimacing at the slight exertion. "We used to be the in crowd. Now, no one pays any attention to us and it's all because of Edward and that little sideshow freak of a girlfriend of his."

"How could Edward have anything to do with it, Rose," Emmett shifted and lay so his head was next to hers, taking her hand in his. "No one besides Mike Newton and his loser friends talk to him."

"It's not him, it's his precious little goth girl," she rolled her eyes. "She's little miss popularity. And she's always with Alice these days, if you notice. They're thicker than thieves," she yanked her hand away from him. "Everyone in this stupid town wants to be her friend. I just don't get it."

"She's really nice, Rose. That's all there is too it."

"Pfft," she scoffed. "Nice? They ain't looking at nice, Emmett. They're looking at tits and ass and mini skirts and stilettos."

"I can see that," he smirked. "She's a very pretty girl."

"She looks like a whore, which is probably why your brother was so attracted to her. You know how much he loves whores."

"Now, Rose…you know that's not true," his voice was gentle. "Whatever Victoria may be now, she wasn't it back then, and you know that."

She sighed and frowned. "You're right, Em," her voice was small. "And I can't tell you how much I regret doing what I did to him on Thanksgiving."

Emmett turned and looked at her, surprise etched on his face. "You do?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I mean…you know Edward and I never got along, but…Jesus, I don't even know what I mean."

Emmett rolled onto his side, facing her. "You mean you're sorry for ruining his life?"

She turned her face and looked at him, a tear rolling awkwardly across her nose. "Yeah," she nodded. "I…he just fell apart. I'll never forget the look on his face. It haunt's me every night, Em."

"Damn, Rose," he ran his thumb across her face, dabbing the tears away. "This is something new for you."

"I miss it, Em. I miss our life there. As infuriating as Edward and Esme were, this…there isn't much of a life without them all."

"I'm not the person you should be telling this to, Rose."

"I know. I just…I don't think any of them would ever forgive me. Or even listen to me long enough to forgive me, you know?"

"Well, if anything, Edward should be somewhat grateful," Emmett pulled her into his strong arms.

"Why? Why would Edward be grateful that I ruined his life?"

"Who says you ruined it," Emmett's deep dimples creased around his smiling lips. "Without you, he may never have known he had a kid, Rose."

"You think," she looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"Yeah, I mean, he's been gone since Thanksgiving, right? So, they had to have found her and the kid. That's where he's been."

"Alice and Bella have been lying so much at school about where he is. But I know if I say anything, no one will believe me. Bella Swan's the noted Edward authority here in Forks."

"And that's the way it should be. Rose," he pulled her closer. "There's only one way out of this situation, and you know that. You need to go to Mom and Dad and ask their forgiveness…and you need to beg Edward for his as well."

Rosalie buried her face in Emmett's ample shoulder and sobbed. "But…how?"

"You have to go to the house and beg, Rose. That's the only way."

"But…is he there? Will he even see me?"

"I overheard Alice talking to Bella in the hallway at school the other day about having to be at the airport, so I think Edward's back in Forks now. We could go over to the house. What's the worst they can do?"

"Call the police and have Charlie Swan arrest us?"

Emmett laughed. "See? And how bad is that if it's the worst thing?"

She smiled sadly. "I don't think they can ever find it in their hearts to forgive me, Em. I've been a horrible person to all of them."

"Well, the only way we'll know for sure is if we try."

She shook her head. "I don't think so, Em. I mean, if you were them, how would you feel if you saw us on your doorstep?"

"I'd feel like the prodigal daughter had returned," he smiled and kissed her forehead gently. "You?"

"I'd hate me and tell me to leave."

"Nah…you have to think positive," he brushed her long blonde hair away from her face and looked into her eyes. "Besides…this is the season for miracles, Rose. You have to believe."

* * *

Rosalie knocked on the door with all of her might, tears running down her stained pink cheeks.

"Please! Please someone answer," she sobbed, pushing the doorbell again and again. "Please! Alice! Jasper! Please! This is all my fault! Please!" She ran to the window and peered in, placing her hands around her face to lessen the glare.

Emmett rounded the side of the house, running quickly through the rain, and taking the steps two at a time, hopped up on the porch next to her.

"Dad's car is gone, Rose. They aren't home," he wrapped his arms around himself against the damp chill.

"No! They have to be home! They can't have left us! Not at Christmas! They wouldn't do that," she ran back to the front door and began to bang again on it. "Please! Carlisle! I came to apologize! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything I've ever done!"

"They must have all gone to wherever Edward is for Christmas," he shrugged, rubbing absently at his chin stubble. "I just assumed he was coming home when I heard Alice talking about the airport. I guess I was wrong."

"No. No. You couldn't have been wrong," she shook her head. "They couldn't have gone away. We never went away for Christmas…someone has to be home," she shook her head and slammed both fists against the front door as hard as she could. "Esme! Carlisle! Anyone! Please! Please," she wailed, slamming her open hands against the door in desperation. Defeated, she leaned her face into the door and cried.

Emmett took her by the shoulders and pulled her sobbing form away from the door. "They're gone, Rose," he whispered as he kissed the top of her head. "They aren't home."

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, kneeling down on the porch floor as she crumpled to the ground and into his arms.

"They can't be gone," sobs shook her body.

"They're gone, Rose," he rocked her gently, resting his cheek against the top of her head. "It's cold and wet out here. Let's go back to the inn to warm up before you catch pneumonia, ok?"

"No. Someone has to be home, Em," her body shook with her sobs. "Someone has to be home to forgive me, and I'm going to sit here until they do," she pulled back from him, shaking her head.

"Sitting here until they come home won't solve anything. You'll come back after Christmas and apologize then."

"But what if they're just out to dinner? Or in Port Angeles doing last minute shopping," she looked up at him hopefully, expectantly, as if Emmett were some sort of giant Yoda with all of the answers in the universe. "Maybe they aren't home from picking up Edward at the airport yet?"

He looked down at her hopeful face, heart breaking for her. She wasn't all bad. He had known for a long time that a human with a heart lurked somewhere beneath her hard exterior. He just knew it would take a lot to chip away the veneer to find it. "Then we can drive by later, and see if anyone's home. If not, we drive by tomorrow, and every day after that until someone's home, ok," his voice was soft as his fingers softly wiped the tears from her face.

"We can?"

"Of course we can."

"But tomorrow's Christmas. That's the time for miracles. If I don't apologize tomorrow, they'll never be able to forgive me."

"Don't be silly," he smiled down at her. "Of course they will forgive you. At Christmas or any time."

"How can you be sure they'll forgive me?"

He held her closely. "Because they will, Rose, but first, you have to forgive yourself."

* * *

**So there it is...just a little glance into where they are. Hope you enjoyed it~**

**Merry Merry to all if I don't have the next real chapter up before the fat man slides down the chimney~**


	33. Chapter 33

**Well...it's a little bit later and shorter than I wanted, and for that I apologize. Once again, real life has reared its ugly head interfered with my fan fiction life. Right now, real life is not being good to me, and it's beginning to take its toll on me. This chapter was a difficult one, and I hope it's up to standard.**

**Let's get down to business: Twilight, it's characters and its situations do not belong to me. They are the property of Stephenie Meyer, who I really wish would forget people like Bree Tanner and finish Midnight Sun already so we can have _our_ Edward..because, in the end, it _is_ all about Edward, you know ;)**

**Please enjoy...**

* * *

**Chapter 33: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas**

Bella leaned back on the sofa and sighed contentedly, a jumble of ripped wrapping paper and opened boxes strewn about the living room floor. She hummed along to the sounds of Nat King Cole crooning about roasting chestnuts and Jack Frost nipping at noses.

Charlie slipped his empty plate onto the coffee table and burped loudly.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Dad."

"Excuse me," he laughed, the tips of his moustache twitching upward. "That was a great breakfast, Bells. Good idea eating it in here in front of your beautiful tree."

"And in the middle of this sea of decadence," she pointed at the pile of red and green glistening paper in the middle of the room. "Really, Dad, you spent entirely too much on me."

"Nah, it was the first real chance I've had to have a Christmas with you, Bells. I wanted to make up for lost time."

"Seriously, the new Hello Kitty pajamas and the earrings were enough, Dad. But I do really do love my new Forks PD sweatshirt," she smiled at him.

"Does that mean I'll get mine back?"

"Not a chance in hell, dude," she giggled.

"Aw, come on. I got you those Hot Topic gift cards," Charlie teased.

"And I appreciate them," she stood up, picking up her dish as she did. "Did you like your gifts?"

"I did indeed. I needed new socks."

"Socks that aren't, you know, red," she picked up his plate and shuffled into the kitchen. "By the way, thanks for the Hello Kitty slippers. Totally match my new jammies," she held her Kitty clad foot out for him to see.

"Nice foot. You got something against red socks?"

"Not particularly, but they shouldn't be worn with a police uniform." Charlie heard her turn the water in the sink on as she rinsed off the breakfast dishes.

"I wear boots. No one sees them."

"Or so you think," she walked back into the living room with the coffee pot, refilling both of their mugs.

"Really? You can see them," he stared at her in disbelief.

"They drive Alice crazy, Dad."

"Oh…I…I didn't know," he sipped his hot coffee.

"And you know Alice," she giggled, thinking about her fashion conscious friend.

"Will she approve of what I got you," he asked with caution as he put the coffee mug back on the table.

"Well, you got me the same earrings I got her, so yeah, she'll like those," she sat back down on the sofa, grabbing her coffee as she did. "Jesus, I ate too much," she patted her stomach. "But she hates your old sweatshirt, so I doubt she'll like this new one any better," she made a slurping sound as she sipped her hot coffee.

"And my plaid shirts?"

"She'll hate them as much as she hates the ones you already have," Bella laughed. It was funny how her father feared offending little Alice Cullen. "Seriously, Dad, don't be afraid of Alice. You're the one with the gun."

"Yeah," Charlie laughed. "I guess her keen eye makes me self conscious. All these years, I dressed for myself. Now, I have teenage girls staring at me and I know you both think I'm tacky," he grabbed his coffee cup and took a big gulp from it.

"You're a guy," she leaned over and patted her father's knee. "A dad. We expect you to be tacky."

"Gee thanks," he rolled his eyes. "So, did I do good with the tickets?"

"Did you do good? Dad, that Muse show has been sold out for a month! How you managed to get tickets alone is beyond me! But to get the seats you got? I am in total awe of you!"

"I told you. Cops have their ways," he smiled at her. It pleased him that he'd been able to get her those tickets, regardless of how much he had paid over the actual face value of the ticket. Of course, he had bought them before everything with Edward had gone south. "So, I figured what we could do the night of the show is—"

Bella cut him off.

"We? What do you mean by 'we'," she looked at him with a worried face. Was Charlie planning on going to the concert with her?

"Well, I mean the show's in Seattle. I'm not going to let you and whoever you go with~and I'm assuming it's going to be Alice~drive all the way down there alone and then drive home after. And you aren't going to get a hotel room alone in a big city like that, so don't even think of going there. I figured the three of us would drive down earlier that day, we'd get rooms for the night and I'd drop you off at the arena for the show. Then when the show was over, you'd call me and I'd come get you and the next morning we'd drive back home."

"You don't have to do that, Dad. I'm seventeen. I can handle myself," she sipped her coffee again.

"I have no doubts that you can handle yourself, Bells," he shook his head. "But I also have no intention of letting you go to a big concert in Seattle alone."

She huffed and rolled her eyes, gripping her warm coffee mug with both hands.

"There's not even any question about this, Bells, so let's not argue, ok?"

"I'm not going to argue, Dad, but I don't see the need for you to waste your time doing this. What are you going to do? Sit in the hotel room watching tv while we're at the show?"

"Sure, why not," he took another gulp of his coffee.

"What kind of a night is that going to be for you," she looked at her father. "I'm off enjoying myself and you're watching tv alone in a hotel room."

"I'll pick a place with room service," he set his mug back down on the coffee table. "It's what parents do, Bells. We do things for our kids and we do it because we want to," he smiled at her warmly. "I've never had the opportunity to do things like this for you, so, think of it as part of my Christmas gift from you, ok?"

She sighed, knowing this wasn't an argument she was going to win. "Well, ok…as long as you're ok with it." Renee would never have been ok with doing something like that for her, she knew, which made Charlie all the more endearing to her.

"I wouldn't have bought the tickets if I wasn't ok with it," he smiled as he stood up and stretched. "I'm going to clean up in here and then go shower and dress. Billy and Jake will be here around noon, so we better get a move on."

She hopped up off the sofa, grabbing his now empty coffee cup from him on her way into the kitchen. "I'm going to preheat the oven. I have to put the lasagna in, and then there are the appetizers."

"Mmm…meat. I can't wait to eat meat in my own home again," Charlie smiled.

"You and your meat," Bella walked back into the living room, throwing her arms around her father. "Thanks for a great Christmas, Dad."

Charlie hugged her tightly. "And thank you for the best Christmas in years, Bells. It's great to have you back."

"It's great to be back," she smiled up at her father.

"Let me get a trash bag to clean up this mess," he went into the kitchen, opening a cabinet and pulling out a black trash bag.

"Yeah, we should clean this up first, huh," she put her hands on her hips, taking in the mess they had made. "Two people. You'd think there were a dozen kids here."

"Amazing isn't it," he bent down and began shoving the sparkling paper into the bag.

"How did paper end up under the tree?" Bella knelt down in front of the huge tree, reaching under it for a rogue wrapping. "You must have gotten a little over exuberant, Dad." Standing up, something in the tree caught her eye. She reached her arm in, careful not to disturb the decorations that she and Alice had placed just so, and pulled out a small box from deep within the branches. I was wrapped in the same colors as the tree~shimmering lime green paper with pink and black feathers festooning the top.

"Hey, Dad?"

"Yeah?" Charlie slowly stood up from where he was bending over to pull up tape that had stuck to the living room rug , straightening his back with a slight grunt and a deep breath.

"What's this?" She held the box up.

"I…I have no idea. Where'd you find it," he looked at her, confused.

"It was like, right here," she motioned to the middle of the tree. "In the branches, toward the back."

"No idea," he shook his head. "I've never seen it before, but…isn't that the paper Alice used?"

"You know, you're right. I guess she put it in there," she shrugged. "Maybe I should call her?"

"I think that, if Alice put it there, it was meant to be there…for you to find later…"

* * *

"Edward, what are you doing in here?"

The sound of his mother's soft voice in the dimly lit pre-dawn kitchen startled him. He jumped, spilling coffee grinds onto the pristine counter.

"Ma-mom," he scrambled to catch the coffee scoop he'd dropped before it bounced off the counter and onto the floor. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep," she sighed, moving slowly over to the breakfast nook. She pulled out a chair and sat down, carefully drawing her red satin robe tightly around herself. She looked at her son and smiled. "You're wearing the Christmas pajamas Alice brought for you."

He looked down at his legs, clad in red flannel fabric imprinted with jolly little Santa's dancing with Rudolph's. "Yeah," he sighed. "Like I had a choice." He pushed the sleeves of the gray thermal Henley he wore up and filled the coffee pot with water. He wondered what his mother could possibly want from him at this ungodly hour. Perhaps she wanted him to go up on the roof and stomp around like the jolly old elf himself.

"Edward," she called him again as he slid the coffee basket into the old electric percolator and popped the top on. "Come sit with me, please."

"Yes, ma'am," he plugged in the pot and it immediately began to make noise. Head down, he obediently made his way over to where she sat, pulling out the chair across from her and sitting down cautiously with his eyes cast downward.

"Edward, look at me," Esme's voice was gentle. "Please."

He looked up at his mother, noticing dark circles under her eyes and lines around them. He'd never noticed them before.

"Edward, I'm sorry," she reached out and took his hands in hers, locking her blue eyes onto his green ones. "I'm so sorry for the way I've been treating you."

"It's ok, Mom," he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat down. "I deserve the punishment."

"The punishment, yes," she sighed. "But the treatment from me? No, you don't deserve that. Not at all."

"It's ok. I understand," he whispered.

"No, I don't think that you do. I didn't even understand why I reacted the way I did until I spoke with your father about it," she closed her eyes, shaking her head slightly. "You see, Edward, you…you are my ideal. My…_perfect_ boy," she smiled at him sadly.

"Mom, I'm not perfect," he protested.

"I know that, Edward," she closed her eyes, smiling in spite of herself. "None of us are. But, you…you have to understand where I'm coming from, how I feel about you. You, above the others…you are…my own child," she whispered as she opened her eyes and looked at him lovingly. "I've had you the longest, had the most influence in how you were raised, because I raised you. You were so young when you came to me. The others…well, aside from Alice, the others were already who they are by the time they came to be with us. But you…you were this tiny, beautiful, frightened little boy. This…this bronze haired angel who came to answer my prayers," a tear slid down her cheek. "You were~you are _my_ child."

Edward swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat down. He could feel the tears stinging at his eyes and blinked rapidly, wishing them away. He understood what she was trying to convey to him, because it was something he had felt for so long, something he had always known. If he was _her_ child, then she was _his_ mother. Damn the others, he alone was _hers_, and she was his…_his_ mother, not theirs.

"And when _my child_ does something that goes against every lesson that I've ever taught him, every sense of right and wrong that I've tried to instill in him…I…I was so hurt, Edward…" she looked away, unable to keep the tears at bay, and tightened her grip on his hands. "You knew how I felt about drug abuse…how it killed your biological parents…and…and yet," she looked back at him, her blue eyes adrift in a sea of tears. "Yet you went ahead and used them anyway, just like your real mother. And just like her, I too was a failure."

"I'm so sorry Mom," a strangled sob came from his throat. "You're not a failure. I don't know why I did it, but I swear I'll never do it again."

"My dear, sweet boy," she cupped his cheeks in her hands, wiping his tears away with her thumbs. "Don't you see, it isn't only me that you hurt when you do something like this. It's yourself, and now...now you have Alec. Do you want your child to lose his father the same way you lost yours?"

He cried quietly, understanding what his mother was saying. No one becomes an addict by choice, but it's a single choice that can turn you into one.

"The choice is yours, darling…but remember…your real mother and father never considered you when they made their choices. You know what that feels like…so, please…consider Alec when you make your choices. It's not just about you anymore."

"I promise, Mom. I will," he fell into his mother's arms, hugging her tightly and crying quietly as she cradled him closely against her chest. Relief filled him. His mother still loved him…and he was _hers_.

"It's ok, baby. We all make mistakes. I made one in how I treated you for making your own mistake," she cooed as she rubbed his heaving back.

"Mom," he sniffled into her robe when the sobs had finally subsided. "I'm so scared."

"Scared of what, sweetie?"

"Everything. I'm just…scared. And I've never felt this way before."

"It's ok to be scared, Edward," she pulled his face away from her shoulder, wiping his tears stained face with the sleeve of her robe.

"But…I have all this stuff, this…responsibility. And I just keep fucking up…I mean," he closed his eyes and took a shaky deep breath. "I'm sorry. I keep messing up."

"What did you mess up?"

He slid down from his mother and sat on the floor, pulling his knees to his chest as he rested his cheek against her leg. Soothingly, she ran her fingers through his tangled copper tresses.

"Everything. All the important things. I messed up things with you, with Bella. I don't want to mess things up with Alec, and I'm so terrified that I will."

"Sweetie, you can't think like that. Alec is the most important thing in the world, but you can't run scared," she let out a soft laugh. "You really need to get up off that cold floor, Edward. I'm petting you like a dog."

He laughed quietly as he pulled himself from the floor and back onto his chair, pulling it closer to his mother.

"How did you do it, Mom? How did you and Dad…how…how were you…," he

couldn't find the right words.

"How did we deal with the challenge of being parents?"

"Yeah," his voice was quiet.

"Well…," she thought for a moment. "There really isn't any way to deal with it, Edward. It's something you just do…because you have to. There's no users manual or Idiots Guide to parenting, sweetie. You just have to do what you think is right, and hope for the best."

He nodded. "I screwed up big. I know that," he shook his head. "I want to be a better person…for Alec. For you and Dad. And for Bella, even if she never wants to see me again."

"Edward," she reached up and brushed the hair that was falling into his eyes away. "The most important thing is that you want to be a better person for yourself. Once you do that, everything else will fall into place."

"I hope I can do it," he sighed. "Do you think that I can?"

"Sweetie, I _know_ you can do it."

The sun was coming up, reflecting red, orange and gold off of the frozen ice outside the bayed window surrounding them.

"I guess I better go turn the lights on the tree on. Alice will probably be up in a few minutes and who wants to hear her," Edward stood up and stretched. "Mom?"

"Yes baby?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Edward."

As if on cue, the thundering of footsteps pounding on the grand staircase echoed around them.

"That would be Alice," Esme laughed as she stood slowly. A distant sing song chorus of "It's Christmas! It's Christmas!" wafted into the kitchen over the sound of the percolator.

"I guess we'd better get inside before she has to wait five whole minutes and has a fit," Edward smiled.

"We better. Who wants to listen to her rant about how we made her wait and ruined her Christmas," Esme smiled as she looped her arm through Edward's and together they strolled slowly from the kitchen.

**

* * *

**

"I told you he loved you," Charlie didn't bother looking up from the newspaper he was reading, so she couldn't see the huge grin that lit his face up.

Bella puttered around the kitchen, distracted and forgetful, her mind on the small box she'd unwrapped earlier. It had been for her, had been stashed deep inside the tree for her to find by Alice on purpose. Why it had to be hidden away like that was beyond her, but she'd found it, and she'd unwrapped it.

It hadn't been from Alice at all.

It had been from Edward.

"Did you put it on?"

"No, I didn't put it on, Dad," she opened the freezer and closed it, scratching her head absently. "What was I doing?"

"You were going to put the appetizers in the pan over there," Charlie lowered the newspaper and nodded toward the counter where a box of the frozen appetizers that Alice had found so delightful sat. "Did you read the note?" When she had unwrapped and opened the small box, a tiny piece of folded notebook paper bearing Edward's elegant, almost feminine script had gently floated out of it. Bella had snatched it from the floor before her father could move to bend over to pick it up for her, and had tucked it back into the box, mumbling how she would read it when she was alone.

"Oh…the note…yeah...," she absently wandered back to the counter and picked up the large, still frozen box. "I…I read it," she tore the box open mindlessly. "Ah, crap…I ripped the directions."

"Isn't there another box in the freezer?"

"There's two. The three of you eat almost as much as Alice," she mumbled as she opened the freezer door. She pulled out a box and read the directions, shoving it back into the freezer before she walked back to the counter, where she began to spread the frozen bundles of meat onto the baking sheets lined with parchment paper.

"Um…forget something?"

Bella looked up at her father. "What?"

Charlie nodded toward the freezer. Bella turned, and sighed when she saw the freezer door wide open. Scowling, she slammed it shut.

"Just…just stop distracting me, Dad! Go back to reading your damn paper."

"I didn't distract you," he leaned back in his chair, rattling the newspaper as he turned to the next page. "I just wondered if you had read the note. If you want to blame anyone for distracting you, blame Edward and whatever it was he wrote in the note," he lifted the paper and buried his nose back into it.

"It won't work, Swan," she shook her head, deftly setting the frozen treats onto the baking sheet, having had plenty of practice at Jessica's party. "I'm not telling you what he wrote in the note."

"I'm not asking what the note said, Bells," he lowered the paper and leveled a look at her. "All I asked was if you were wearing the bracelet and if you read the note."

"You can see I'm not wearing it."

"You're shirt sleeves come down to your hands, so how can I see?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she put the appetizers into the ancient wall oven and set a timer on the counter.

"I will admit that I'm pretty curious as to what he had to say, though."

"Well, it's none of your business," she shoved the empty box into the trash can and wiped down the counter where she had been working.

"I know, but I'm sure once he's back, Edward will tell me himself."

"Dad~" the ringing doorbell cut her off. "Not a word about the gift to Billy or Jake, do you hear me," she wiped her hands on a dishtowel and headed to the front door.

"They won't hear it from me," he mumbled with an amused smirk on his face as he stood up, folding the newspaper.

Dinner with the Blacks was a welcome distraction for Bella. They talked and laughed, acting like a real family. And when dinner was done, and Charlie and Billy sat in the living room, watching a football game on the flat screen, Jacob helped Bella do the dishes.

"So, what was the best gift you got," Jacob took the large pot that Bella handed him to dry.

"Oh, Dad gave me tickets so Alice and I could go see Muse."

"Muse?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded a she scrubbed the Pyrex dish she'd baked the lasagna in. The biggest baking dish she had, and all the lasagna was gone, thanks to Jake.

"Where are they playing?"

"Seattle."

"So…you're going to Seattle with your ex-boyfriend's sister?"

Bella stopped scrubbing the dish and turned to glare at him. "No, Jake. I'm going to Seattle with my _friend_."

"You sure about that, Bells," he smirked.

"Yeah, I am," she glared.

"Uh huh," he set the now dried pot down on the counter in front of him.

"And just what does that 'uh huh' mean?"

"Why are you getting so defensive?"

"You haven't seen defensive yet, mister."

Jacob laughed to himself and shook his head. "Don't you see, Bells? You're hanging on to Alice as a way to hang on to him."

"_Him_?" She could feel her lips curling up into a snarl.

"Weird Cullen."

"He has a name, Jacob," she closed her eyes. Now it was her turn to shake her head. "And, not that it's any of your business, but Alice and I were friends long before things between Edward and I went South," she directed her attention to the still crusty Pyrex in the sink, taking her anger at Jake out on it.

"If you insist," he smirked.

"It's a fact. You can ask her yourself."

"Please tell me that pixie demon from hell isn't coming over here today," he rolled his eyes.

"Not today," she scrubbed the baked on cheese with all of her strength.

"That's right. She went to wherever it is Weirdo~I mean _Edward_ is, with his kid."

She whirled and yanked the dish towel out of his hand with such force, he jumped from shock. "Ok, that's it. Inside with the others," she flipped the towel over her shoulder and pointed toward the living room.

"But Bells~"

"No buts. I've had it with you insulting Edward. You don't know him. You don't have the right to pass judgment on him. Now out!"

Jacob's broad shoulders slumped and he shuffled slowly from the kitchen to where his father sat enjoying the game with Charlie.

Bella blew a stray hair off of her forehead. He had nerve, that Jacob Black.

* * *

Alec lay across the sofa with his head on Edward's thigh, sleeping soundly on his father's lap. Edward sat still, exhausted by the emotional highs and lows of the day, ahd rubbed his son's back gently.

"Maybe you should go put him in his crib." Alice waded through the torn and scattered sparkling wrapping paper mixed with toys and empty boxes that littered the living room floor and flopped down on the sofa next to her brother. She ran her fingers gently through her newly found nephew's soft bronze hair.

"Nah, we're going to be eating soon."

"He's so beautiful, Edward," she sighed. "I can't wait to be a mom."

"Yeah, well, just wait a while, ok. You don't want to kill Mom, do you?" He snorted.

"Nah, that's your job," she giggled.

"Ah, fuck you."

"Shhh." She covered Alec's ear with her hand. "Baby ears, brother!"

"This kid could fall asleep on the tarmac at O'Hare and it wouldn't phase him in the slightest." He shook his head in awe. "I wish I could sleep half as soundly as he does."

"Trouble sleeping?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you've been feeling pretty darn guilty about the way you treated some people who love you," she reached up and rested her elbow on Edward's shoulder, running her fingers through his messy hair.

Edward sighed, closing his eyes. "It's so relaxing when you do that."

"Mom told me that's how she used to get you to sleep at night when she first got you."

"First got me? You make me sound like a puppy that she picked up at the pound."

"Well, in a way, you are. We both are."

"Yeah, I know. Strays taken in by the kindly Cullen's." He smirked, then his face became serious. "I want to make sure Alec never feels like that, Alice."

"Oh, Edward. We were all strays. Even Mom and Dad were lost little strays in search of a family. And now, because we are a family, that's all Alec's ever going to know. He's going to know how much his Daddy loves him. And how much his Auntie Alice loves him."

"Auntie Alice is going to spoil him rotten. Look at this place. It looks like Santa's toy bag exploded in here."

"I should clean up." She stood up. "I sent Jazz in to get a garbage bag like, hours ago. Where is he?"

"You only sent him into the kitchen five minutes ago. And since Mom and Dad are in there cooking, he probably got drafted into doing something."

"I should maybe go help too, huh?"

"I think you should." He grinned.

"I'm so glad Alec's staying the night. Victoria looked almost relieved to get rid of him, the cold bitch." Alice sniffed as she folded her arms over her chest.

"Yeah, she's not very into the whole being a mom thing, that's for sure," he sighed, "but I need to keep on good terms with her, Al, so try to be nice when she comes to pick him up tomorrow, ok?" He ran his hand through his hair.

"You know I'm nothing if not the perfect diplomat, Edward."

"Yeah, I've seen your brand of diplomacy."

"What," she pouted, "not good?"

"Suffice it to say that if you were in the UN, we'd be at war with the world."

"You underestimate me, brother."

"What is with this 'brother' thing?"

"What do you mean? You're my brother."

"I know that, but you never call me broth~eh, forget it." Edward scratched at the stubble along his jaw. "I need a cigarette."

"Oh my God! You cannot have a cigarette when that child is here," Alice exclaimed pointing an accusatory finger at him.

"Simmer down, _MOM_. I'm not having one. I just said I need one." He absently ran his long fingers through the sleeping child's tousled hair.

"You need to quit smoking, Edward, and I mean now. You don't want Alec inhaling second hand smoke. Do you know how bad that is for anyone, let alone a child? Plus, you know how easily influenced children are! You don't want him picking up any of your bad habits and thinking it's ok for him to do because you do it. You don't want to be a bad example and you want to stay healthy for him. I think when we get home," she came up for a breath, "you should ask Bella how she quit."

Edward's head shot up. "Bella quit smoking?"

"Uh huh." She nodded. "I haven't seen her have a smoke since, like…" She squinted her eyes as she thought. "Well, I can't remember when exactly, but it's been a while since I saw her smoke."

"Wow, that's great." His face lit up with his crooked smile. "Hey, Alice," his voice grew low, "um…did…did you…ah…"

"Did I hear from Bella today?"

"Yeah." He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.

"I don't know," she shrugged, "since my phone's up in my room. Last night little Destructo over here kept throwing it for distance." She pointed at the angelic sleeping child on his lap.

"Did you hide it where she could find it?"

"Yep, just like you wanted." She nodded, "I stuck it in the tree."

"Well…maybe she didn't find it. Maybe you should give her a call and—"

"Edward…there's no way she didn't find it. It was pretty easy to spot."

Edward looked down, disappointment evident on his face.

"I'm sure she loved it." Her voice was gentle.

He nodded.

"And I'm sure she loved the note more than the bracelet, Edward."

He looked up at her, eyes wide. "You didn't."

"Of course I did." She twirled around, sending scraps of paper scattering around the floor. "What kind of a sister would I be if I didn't read your love notes?"

* * *

**So...there it is. I hope you enjoyed it. Edward and Esme reconcile and we get some insight into her reaction to Edward. **

**And, much like Bella, I too got a pair of Hello Kitty slippers for Christmas...I'm wearing them right now.**

**Thank you for reading and for sticking with my little story. We are getting closer to conclusion of this chapter in the eternal saga that is Edward and Bella's lives, and I think things will be moving quickly from this point on...that is, if I can get it shifted into gear. I swear, I feel like a rusty old truck with a bad transmission these days. **

**Again, I thank you for reading and if you are so inclined, for reviewing =D**


	34. Chapter 34: Psycho Therapy

**Well, I'm sure I know what you're thinking right about now. You're thinking...WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME! I know...I know that I have been remiss in my duty to this fic. But, I can assure you I have a very good explanation. I was about halfway done with this chapter in mid February when I decided I hated it...and started ripping it apart, redoing it. On President's Day, my mom suffered a heart attack. Three days later, she had triple bypass surgery. Since then, I've been somewhat preoccupied with her recovery from the surgery, as well as other health issues she's having. Add into that the fact that the same week my mother was going through everything, my job ended and I was rendered unemployed. Somewhere in all of this, my writing mojo was lost in the never ending shuffle. Eventually, I found it again, but it has taken a while. So, if this chapter is sub~standard, I apologize ahead of time. We've only got a couple more chapters to go in this fic, and I'm hoping it flows easily for me :)**

**Now, on to the business at hand: Twilight, it's characters and situations, do not belong to me. They belong to the very lucky Stephenie Meyer, who I hope realizes the depth of her good fortune and is thankful for it every day.**

**Ok, a refresher: When last we visited Bella and Edward, it was Christmas. Bella was in Forks, and Edward was in Chicago with his family, having just found out the hard way that he's a daddy. He left Bella in a very bitter way, and while hurt by his actions, she soldiers on, sending him a very sweet gift. Edward himself tried to make amends with Bella, and had Alice hide something special for her to find on Christmas. Meanwhile, Edward went to a party against his better judgement with Victoria, which turned out to have been hosted by an old school mate of his. Somehow, he manages to allow himself to be led astray, causing a rift with his parents~his mother in particular~that takes him a while to mend. But Christmas is a time for miracles...**

**Please enjoy...**

* * *

**Chapter 34: Psycho Therapy**

"So is she having another party?"

"Nah, I think it's more that her mother just didn't want to be home alone tonight. And since I was going to be alone too, they asked me to come over too."

"Charlie's working?"

"Yeah. Apparently New Years Eve is a pretty busy night in Forks."

"I'm not surprised."

"Me either."

"So, who else is going to be there?"

"Angela's going to come because Ben and his family went to his aunt's in Seattle this week."

"Oh, that should be fun. Is Lauren going to be there?"

"No. She made sure _everyone_ knew she had a date with Jacob."

"Jacob? Jacob _Black_?"

"How many Jacob's do you know?"

"Blech. I know he's your friend, but Jacob is just…ugh. He's infuriating!"

"Kinda like Lauren is..."

"Then it's bound to be a match made in heaven to be sure!"

"Jake thinks he hit the lottery."

"Sure…she's tall, blonde and easy!"

"Two of your favorite people dating…this could get good."

"Ugh. Speaking of favorite people, is Mike going to be there too?"

"Oh gosh, I hope not. His name wasn't mentioned. I mean, who the hell wants to start their new year off by looking at that fucking tool?"

Alice let out a loud, unladylike laugh, knowing the answer to that question. "Hey, is Mrs. Stanley going to make those little meat pockets again?"

"Alice," Bella sighed, "those are frozen hors d'oeuvres. Even _you_ could make them. Hell, I made them on Christmas."

"Oh. My. Gosh! They are so yummy! I need to get them. I'm actually salivating right now thinking about them!"

"Ask your mom to get some at the grocery store," Bella smiled and laughed. The very thought of just how much food tiny Alice Cullen could ingest made her shake her head in amazement.

"I should ask her. I'm sure the store is still open. Maybe Edward and Jazz can go pick some up for me!"

"You do that."

"Jazz!" Alice screamed into Bella's ear. "Can you and Edward go to the store and get me those frozen appetizers that we had at Jessica's?"

Bella could hear Jasper's low voice in the background.

"You know which ones. The meat ones. And those little hot dogs in the puffy pastry stuff….Thanks, baby."

There was an audible smack as Alice's lips met Jasper's and Bella rolled her eyes. It was all so easy for Alice and Jasper. She felt suddenly envious of her friends.

"So, anyway," Alice was back to conversing with Bella, "I'm totally excited for the concert! I have to thank Charlie for thinking of me."

"Yeah, that was a pretty amazing present, I have to say. He really hit one out of the park."

"I can't wait! A weekend in Seattle with you! We are going to have so much fun…unless…"

"Unless what? Unless my dad puts a damper on it?" Bella chuckled.

"No…Charlie's totally cool in my book, Bella. You know I think he's the awesome. I meant, unless you'd rather go with Edward."

There was silence on her end of the line as Bella thought about what Alice said. Go with Edward? At one time, that idea would have been a no brainer. But now? Now that he'd rejected her? Now that he'd tossed her to the side when all she wanted to do was be there for him? Be there to offer him comfort in his time of need? The note and gift…the note in particular had been something to consider…but she just didn't know. Not yet, anyway.

"It's three months away, Alice."

"Still, I can't wait. Unless…you know."

"Yeah, I know, but let's not think about that. New year, new…well, new everything, ok?"

"We're starting over, Bella. It's like a do over. You'll see. It will be a fresh start for _everything_."

"Uh huh. We'll see. So, what are you guys doing tonight? Going out or something?"

"Nah, we're all staying in since we're flying back to Washington tomorrow. Edward's still sort of under house arrest for that little stunt at the party anyway."

"I still can't believe he was _that_ stupid," Bella shook her head.

"My brother…well…I don't have to tell you how my brother is."

Bella fingered the sparkling charm as it dangled from her wrist. "Yeah…I know all too well, Alice."

* * *

Edward slammed the door of the Mercedes.

"I can't believe Dad made Jenks drive us to the grocery store," his breath came out in white puffs with his words.

"I dunno, Edward. I could get used to being chauffeured around," Jasper wore a wide grin, shoving his hands deeply into his jacket pockets as they made their way into the store. Jasper grabbed a shopping cart on the way.

"It's not like we don't know how to drive, Jazz! He just did it to keep an eye on me."

"Edward," Jasper stopped walking and grabbed his brother's arm. "How many times have you driven around here?"

"I…I haven't actually…" Edward's voice trailed off as he looked down at his feet sheepishly.

"That's what I thought," Jasper smirked. "Now, how about you tell me what's really bothering you." He started walking through the store in search of the frozen foods.

Edward slumped along behind Jasper. "I don't know…"

"Sure you do," Jasper turned down the frozen food aisle. "We both know. Edward, you have to talk about it." He stopped walking and turned to face his brother. "What are you afraid of?"

Edward stared into Jaspers steely blue eyes and swallowed hard. It was such a simple question…but it was one that had no simple answer.

"It's not a hard question, Edward," Jasper continued softly. "Just…just tell me how you feel. What are you afraid of?"

Edward swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. He twisted his jaw and thought. Finally he sighed. "Everything. I'm afraid of everything, Jazz."

"Everything?"

"Yeah."

"Now, I think _everything_ is overstating it a little bit, don't you? Why don't you say what you really mean?" Jasper walked slowly down the aisle, the cart squeaking in front of him, as he looked each case up and down, hunting for Alice's appetizers.

Edward thought for a moment, knowing his brother was right. He drew a deep breath and whispered his fear. "I'm afraid Bella won't take me back."

"She'll take you back," Jasper said assuredly as they reached the end of the frozen foods aisle, coming up empty handed. "Fuck all…did you see any of those things?"

"I…I wasn't really looking," Edward shook his head. "What makes you think she'd take me back? You don't know how horrible I was to her."

"Oh wait…there's another freezer case here at the end." Jasper wheeled the cart around the end of the aisle.

"That's called a header back at the Thriftway," Edward smirked. He missed his job and hoped that it was still waiting for him when he got back.

"Here they are! Look at this! All these little boxes of frozen meat love!" Jasper sounded giddy as he stood facing a glass doored freezer case stacked high with the frozen savories that Alice salivated over. "And look! They're _on sale_! How many boxes should I get?"

"I dunno…how many can Alice eat?"

"Oh, I think she ate like, two boxes by herself at the Stanley's."

"Get four? I…I don't know. How many are in each box?" Edward pulled a box out of the freezer and looked at it. "Forty. Um…get six? If we don't eat them all, the Jenks' will enjoy them."

"Sounds like a plan. And that way, Alice won't bitch that we didn't get enough," Jasper took the boxes as Edward handed them to him and turned the cart, heading for the check out counters.

"So, what makes you think Bella will take me back?"

"Alice says she will."

"So?"

"So? _So?"_ Jasper stopped walking and looked at Edward. "Do you live with us? Do you not know your sister?"

"Of course I know my sister," Edward huffed.

"Then how can you even question it? You know Alice is always right." Jasper pushed the cart in line behind a wide, middle aged woman in clingy white leggings and a too short top. Her black thong was clearly visible under the tights. He glanced hopefully at Edward to see if he'd noticed, but his brother was lost in thought.

"And besides," Jasper nudged him with his elbow then raised an eyebrow in the direction of the white legged woman. "Alice has been talking with her on the phone all week."

Edward's eyes widened and he couldn't help the grin that appeared on his face. "So…she told Alice that she would take me back?"

"Oh, that I don't know," Jasper averted his eyes when the woman turned to grab The National Enquirer from the magazine rack next to them. "She never tells me what they talk about. I just know they talk for hours."

Edward looked up, scratching at the stubble on his chin. "Should I talk to Alice?"

"She won't tell you anything, you know that. She's your sister, but mister, she's loyal to Bella a hundred and ten percent."

The woman in the white leggings was swiping her credit card now, and Edward noticed what she had purchased. A six pack of Coors Light in cans, a box of Hot Pockets, a large bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, a bag of Fritos, a container of onion dip and a package of Oreo Double Stuff. He suddenly felt bad, because it occurred to him that this woman was probably going to be spending New Year's Eve alone. He watched her as she wheeled her cart away and slipped back into a long, dowdy black down coat that was loaded with what could only be cat hair, noticing the dark roots growing on her messy bleached blonde hair. When she turned, he saw the bags under her eyes. She'd been crying, too.

He sighed as he watched her grab her bags from the cart and, with shoulders slumped, slink away into the cold Chicago evening.

"Aw Jazz, that poor woman."

"Yeah, you'd think she'd have some fashion sense living in such a metropolitan area, huh?" Jasper dropped the boxes onto the belt.

"She's going to be alone tonight."

"Maybe her clothes scared her boyfriend away."

"No," Edward shook his head. "She'd been crying. She's alone. Someone…someone recently broke her heart."

"You think?" The cashier quickly scanned the frozen treats and took the money Jasper offered.

"Yeah. She had a really expensive wallet…like that purse Alice has."

"Louis Vuitton?"

"Yeah. She's not like, a WalMart person or anything. She's…she's alone with no one to love her." Edward felt sudden empathy for her. He'd been on the path to alone himself, except that his family wouldn't allow it.

"Well, I hope for her sake that's not true and she's just having a bad day or something," Jasper grabbed the bags and the brothers began to head to the exit. "No one should be alone and sad on the holidays." He threw his arm around Edward's shoulders and smiled.

As they walked to the car, they noticed the woman getting into a new Mercedes SUV.

"I bet her husband left her and the kids," Jasper mused as they got into the car that Jenks had kept warm for them. He opened the door and motioned for Edward to get in first.

"Prick. That's why women think we're all assholes," Edward sighed as he slid across the seat.

"Call her." Jasper pulled the door closed and Jenks pulled out from the parking space.

"What?"

"Call Bella and wish her a Happy New Year."

"You think I should?"

"Yeah, I do. She unlocked the door with that voicemail and the bit of texting the two of you have done. It's your turn to push that door open a little more now."

"Oh, Alice won't tell you what she talks about on the phone with Bella, but she tells you about my voicemail?" Edward shook his head.

"She was excited. She said all the pieces were moving into place." It was starting to get dark in Chicago and the streetlights reflected off of new fallen snow as they drove.

"All the…what? Why does she talk like that? All cryptic and witchy and shit? It freaks me out when she does that." Edward ran his hand through his hair.

"I know. Sometimes she gets that far away look in her eyes and I have to admit, I do get a little scared. Hey, look at the lights on that house."

"What the hell do the Chicago Bears have to do with Christmas?"

* * *

Edward lugged the suitcase up the stairs and dragged it into his parent's bedroom. Just how much had his mother packed for her few weeks in Chicago? It felt like she had somehow managed to cram her entire closet into one Louis Vuitton suitcase. He grunted as he picked up the heavy bag and laid it on the bed, pausing to take a deep breath and brush the hair off is forehead.

It had been a good week for him. He had managed to fix his relationship with his mother and had Alice there with him to be his anchor and hold him steady on the numerous occasions that he'd wanted to kill Victoria. He was starting to feel like his old self again and he had to admit that it felt good.

Of course, that voicemail had only helped his merry mood.

He had made Alice check her phone no less than twelve times on Christmas day, but, sadly, Bella hadn't contacted her in any way about the gift, and by the time he was ready to go to bed, he had all but given up on Alice hearing anything from her at all. Perhaps, they had guessed, she hadn't found the small box yet. Maybe Alice had hidden it a little too well. He had stayed up long after everyone else had gone to bed on Christmas night. On his way up to his bedroom, he stopped to check in on Alec first, as he slept soundly in the little room across from the master suite that Esme had set up for him, and then dejectedly made his way back to the warmth of his own childhood bedroom.

He hadn't even noticed his cell phone on the bed until he pulled the covers back and it fell to the floor. Only when he picked it up did he notice that he'd missed several calls and had two voice mails.

From her.

Bella.

She'd gotten his gift.

And with the gift, she had no doubt read his note.

At first, he'd been afraid to listen to the voice mail, fearful that she would be telling him exactly where he could shove his gift, right along with his note.

And it took him quite a while to decide whether or not he should listen. So he had seated himself in his soft Cubbie's blue chair, staring at his phone, reading the times of each missed call over and over, and debating with himself whether or not he was strong enough to hear what she had to say.

Eventually, he wore himself down, and hit the voicemail button, lifting the phone to his ear with a trembling hand, mentally preparing himself for the verbal berating of the century.

"_Edward Cullen! You have one hell of a nerve, you selfish son of a bitch! I'm sure you know _exactly_ what you can do with your fucking note, but in case you _are_ as stupid as you seem to be, let me tell you in no uncertain terms…."_

Bella's soft voice snapped him back to reality.

"Um…Edward…It's...um…me…ah…Bella…uh…ah, _fuck_…"

Click.

The second message began to play.

"Hey…Edward…it's…it's me…um…Bella? Yeah…Bella. Um…_shit_…can you ignore that…the other message? I thought I could delete it but I guess you can't. I don't know. It's technology and I'm not that good at technology…" she let out a sigh. "Anyway, um…I guess you know why I'm calling…" There was a pause before she breathed his name softly. "Edward…" She sighed again. "When are you coming home?"

He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. _Home_. She wanted _him_ to come _home_. He had sat in his chair, replaying the message over and over until he'd fallen asleep with a smile on his lips to the sweet sound of Bella hemming and hawing and sighing into is ear.

It had been the perfect ending to the most perfect Christmas. His most precious Christmas gift being the one he had received from Bella. When the time had come for him to pack up the life he'd brought with him to Chicago and head back to the life he'd left in Forks, he had wrapped the silver frame in a mountain of tissue paper and then again in a soft, old tshirt before slipping it into his backpack to carry onto the plane, ensuring the rough baggage handlers didn't break it on the return flight. The flight that would bring him _home_. _To Bella._

If he was being honest with himself, as was his New Years resolution, he would have realized that the simple fact she had been so thoughtful in her choice of gift~hell, the very idea that she'd thought of him at all for Christmas after the way he had treated her over Thanksgiving~should have told him she still cared for him. But, he had been dense and lacked clarity on Christmas day, being too overcome with emotions. With his mother. With Alec. With Alice. With his fear that Bella wouldn't accept his gift at all. It all became clear that night, though, with a few stuttering words left on a voice mail.

She had accepted his gift. She had realized what the real gift was…and in hearing her words, he knew that her framed photo of him with Alec wasn't her real gift to him. Not at all. Her real gift was her forgiveness. Her real gift was asking him to _come home_. It was a gift he knew he didn't deserve, but he greedily held it to his heart as tightly as he could.

The sound of the front doorbell startled him back to the here and now, back from his memories, and he smiled slightly, hoping that maybe, just maybe, it was Bella at the door. Bella, who he knew had been texted by Alice the second they landed at SeaTac. Maybe, he hoped, she couldn't wait until school the next morning to see him.

He had followed Jasper's advice and called Bella to wish her a Happy New Year. It was much better than the few text messages they had exchanged after her Christmas voice mail. It was more personal…more…right. Just hearing her voice made him feel like he was home already. It was warm and comfortable, but not as warm and comfortable as her words had been. Words that spoke to him of hope and a future…something he thought he had left behind when he had boarded that plane headed to Chicago. He had thought that he would never have that hope again. But now, he had that hope. The hope for a future with Alec…and maybe…with Bella.

He checked himself in the mirror in his parent's bedroom and tried to fix his unruly hair. If it was Bella, he wanted to make sure he looked as good as he possibly could.

The blood curdling yell he heard made him realize that it couldn't possibly be Bella at the door. His heart pounded in his chest as he ran out into the hallway and heard it again. It was Alice.

"DAAAAAAAAAD!"

Edward ran down the hallway and took the steps two at a time until he came to a sudden stop at the bottom of the staircase in the main foyer. His father was standing in the open doorway with Jasper next to him, while his mother and Alice stood behind them, Alice's arms defiantly crossed over her chest. For a moment, he was confused…until he heard the visitor's voice.

"I swear to you, we're not here to start any trouble. I promise, Carlisle."

"Then why _are_ you here?" Carlisle crossed his arms over his chest, standing defensively in front of his family. Jasper stood at his side, arms stiffly at his sides.

Edward felt his stomach drop to the floor. It was Emmett. And where there was Emmett, rest assured there was Rosalie. He stepped forward and went to stand next to his father, on the other side from Jasper. He set his jaw and stood firmly with his hands on his hips.

"We're here to…well…" Emmett sighed and looked Carlisle in the eye. "Rose wants to set things right."

Edward let out a snort and his father's hand came up, motioning him to be silent.

"Look," Emmett continued. "I don't expect you to welcome us back with open arms, but, Carlisle, you've always been the fairest man I know. Won't you at least offer us the opportunity to try and fix this?"

Carlisle sighed. "You want a chance to apologize?"

"Yeah," Emmett nodded.

"Rosalie wants to apologize?"

"Yeah, she does. She feels terrible about everything that's happened."

"Since when?" Alice scoffed from behind her father.

"Shush, Alice. Let Daddy handle this." Esme wrapped an arm around her agitated daughter, pulling her tightly against herself.

Carlisle looked at his two sons who flanked him, then turned around to his wife, eyes searching.

"Darling?"

Esme looked at her husband. "You know how I feel about my children, Carlisle, whether or not they feel the same way about me."

"But Mom!" Alice protested loudly. "After what she did to you and...and Edward you're going to let them come back?"

"Alice is right," Carlisle nodded his head, a grim look on his face. "While the family was ripped apart by Rosalie, in the end, it was Edward and you who bore the brunt of her attacks."

"You have my answer, Carlisle. Maybe we should get Edward's input?" Esme looked at her son, who stood with brows furrowed.

"Edward?" Carlisle put a hand on his son's shoulder. "What do you think? Do we let Rosalie come in and try to explain her position?"

Edward looked at his father's face, searching for the answer, even though he already knew it. He looked back at his mother, who smiled softly at him.

"No, Edward! Don't do it! Say no!" Alice was emphatic. "You know her! She'll never change! She'll lie and cheat and nothing will change!"

Esme tightened her grip around her daughter's shoulder. "Alice. It's Edward's decision."

Alice wrenched her shoulder out from under her mother's arm. "No, it's not. This entire family suffered under her reign of terror! I know I went along with some of it, and that's my fault. And I know that you and Edward suffered the most from her abuse, but really…we were _all_ her victims." She rubbed her hands over her face. "And…and letting her back in is just…it's too easy. It's just too easy for her." She crossed her arms over her chest and set her jaw.

"Alice," Jasper pulled her into his arms. "Remember how you used to tell me how we shouldn't be mean to Edward? How we needed to be friends with him?"

She nodded.

"Well…maybe we need to finally listen to you? Maybe we all need a little forgiveness for the way we've acted the last couple of years?"

"Jazz," she clasped his hands in her own, "I know you're right. But I don't think she deserves to just be able to say she's sorry and we all act like nothing happened. She tried to ruin Edward's life! On purpose!"

"No one's saying that's what's going to happen, Alice," Carlisle spoke this time. "But, I like to believe that my family is made up of fair and compassionate people who are willing to offer the benefit of the doubt, as well as the opportunity at second chances. The very least we can do is, well, listen to her." He looked at Edward. "That is, if Edward is willing to?"

Edward studied his father's face with furrowed brows. "And what if her apology isn't enough?" His voice was soft. "What if she's not really sorry for what she did? Just for being kicked out of the family? Kicked out of a good lifestyle?"

"Well, once we listen to what she has to say, then we'll have a family meeting before any decisions are made." Carlisle understood his son's apprehension. "Does that sound fair to you?"

"Yeah," Edward nodded. "It does."

"Edward!" Alice pulled away from Jasper and grabbed Edward's hands. "Please!" Her voice begged him. "Think about this! Look at all that she's done to you! Look at all that she's cost you!"

Edward looked at his sister's desperate face with quite understanding. "Yeah, I know what she's cost me, Alice," he said in a soft voice. "But I also know what I've gained. I promise we'll discuss it before any decision is made, just like Dad said." He turned to look at his mother. "Mom? You've been her victim as well. Are you sure that you're ok with this?"

"Yes, Edward, of course. With everything that's happened, Emmett and Rosalie are still my children." She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around Edward's waist. "Emmett, why don't you bring Rosalie into the living room?"

Emmett had stood silently in the doorway while his family debated on letting them in. Not that he could blame them, after all of the problems that Rose had created. For his part, he had simply gone along with whatever Rosalie had done, not because he had wanted to, but because it had been easier. He was as much at fault as she was, and it was all due to his own lazy spirit. His face broke into a familiar, easy smile at Esme's words, and he leaned forward impulsively to plant a kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks, Mom." As soon as the words were out, Emmett was halfway to the small rental car that Rosalie sat in, saying quite prayers.

From the kitchen, Edward heard Alice's cell phone ring. Greenday. He knew it was Bella. Alice ran down the hallway to get the call and suddenly Edward felt very foolish for being so quick to accept Rosalie's request. After all, _she_ was the reason Alice's phone was ringing with Bella's ringtone and not his own. He listened hard as he moved into the living room with the rest of the family, pausing in the doorway in a failed attempt at gleaning some sort of information from the frenzied hushed tones he heard his sister talking in.

* * *

Edward sat on the sofa, between his mother and Alice, while Jasper leaned against the fireplace and his father stood by the door.

Emmett and Rosalie sat nervously in the two chairs across from the sofa.

"Thank you so much for allowing me this opportunity, Esme. I…I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for it." Rosalie spoke with a shaky voice. It was easy to see she was nervous and, from her red, swollen eyes, that she'd been crying.

Alice snorted from her place on the sofa and rolled her eyes. Esme gave her a look.

"Emmett says that you have something you would like to say to us, Rosalie?" Carlisle walked slowly toward the sofa with his hands shoved casually in his pockets. He leaned against the armrest closest to his wife.

"Yes, I do, Carlisle." She said softly as she nodded her head. "I would like to apologize to everyone for all of the terrible things that I did. Things I did to this family." She stopped, dabbing her eyes with the crumpled Kleenex she held tightly in her fist. "I did things that were horrible. And I did them to people who…who opened their home and their hearts to me. I'm a terrible person, and I just want you all to know how sorry I am for what I've done."

She took a deep, shaky breath and continued. "Esme, I am truly sorry for what I accused you of. I know that it was never, ever true. But…I…I…," she took another deep breath and closed her eyes, as if looking for strength. Emmett took her hand in his, holding it tightly.

"Go on, Babe. You can do it." He whispered to her encouragingly.

She nodded and opened her eyes, looking at Esme directly. "I knew that there was never anything inappropriate going on between you and Edward, and yet, I went ahead and told that lie. And I told it simply because I was jealous of the two of you."

"Jealous?" Esme's eyebrows knit together. "Whatever could you have been jealous of?"

Rosalie looked at Esme. "I was jealous of your love."

"Our love? I don't understand, Rosalie." Esme shook her head.

"You and Edward were so close…in every way, you were his mother and he was your child." Tears started rolling down her already red cheeks. "You were a family~all of you. And one more time, I was on the outside, looking in."

"Rosalie," Esme's voice was soft. "I'm so sorry if anything that I did made you feel like an outsider. That was never, ever my intent."

"I know that now." Rosalie sniffled and Emmett handed her a fresh tissue from a folded up wad he produced from his jacket pocket.

"When you first came to us," Carlisle began, reaching down to take his wife's hand, "you were so distant. We were almost afraid to go to you, to be parents to you, Rose. We decided to wait until _you_ came to _us_. But that never happened. By the time we moved to Seattle, Emmett and Jasper joined our family and things had snowballed out of control. Then the accusations started…and I didn't know what to do."

"So you took it out on Edward, which was exactly what I wanted to happen." She dabbed at her eyes. "I wanted Edward to suffer because I had suffered for so long myself. Unless you're in foster care, you can't understand what it's like. Edward never had to go through what the rest of us did. Edward always had it so easy. He went from one loving house into another."

Edward sat silently, stunned by her words.

"Rosalie," Esme spoke gently. "Edward was half the age you were when he came to be with us. It was a very different kind of transition, for him and for us. But, by the time we adopted you, Edward was, well, he was our child, as was Alice."

"I know that. I mean, I know that now. But then? Then I just hated him because he had everything I ever wanted. And I wanted him to know pain like I knew. Pain like we all knew." Rosalie started to sob. "I wanted him to know what rejection felt like, and I wanted to punish _you_, Esme, for loving him more than me."

"But, why did you take it out on just Edward? Why not on Alice as well?" Carlisle was curious now.

"Because," a deep sob wracked her body. "Because, whether you realized it or not, Esme, you favored Edward over Alice."

Esme felt tears welling up in her blue eyes. She turned and looked at Alice, sitting on the other side of the silent Edward. "Alice, is this true? Did you feel I favored Edward over you?"

Alice shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. "I don't think I felt that way. I mean, Edward was here first. He was already part of the family I joined, you know? It's only natural that he'd be more comfortable, more…part of it all, I guess?" She grabbed Edward's hand and looked at Rosalie with a saddened face, her voice quiet. "I'm sorry, Rose, if you felt like an outsider. But, I never felt that way at all. Edward and I, as close as we are, well, we are two very different kinds of people with very different needs. Edward and Mom have always been close in a way that's quite different from the way Mom and I are close. I'm sorry that you misunderstood that to mean Mom didn't love me as much as she loves Edward, because that's just not true. Mom loves me just as much. She loves us all the same."

Jasper had quietly moved over to stand behind the sofa and rubbed her shoulders slowly as she slumped back against it. He nodded his head in agreement with what Alice had just said.

"I remember one of the first things Alice said to me when I came here." His lips twisted into a slight smile. "She told me that the two most awesome people on the planet were Esme and Carlisle Cullen. And that I should be thrilled to be a part of this amazing family. But then, she said that Edward was the third most amazing person ever…but that he was hers and hers alone." He laughed. "For some reason, that bothered the hell out of me. I mean, I had fallen for Alice the very first time I laid eyes on her, so I know now it was just jealousy. But, after a while I realized that Edward wasn't a threat to me like that, so I was able to enjoy being his brother. But then…things sort of changed and it was just…easier, you know? It was easier to just go along with it all." He shook his head. "I've apologized to Edward a thousand times for what I was part of, and I know he's forgiven me. I just hope he and Mom can find it in their hearts to forgive you too, Rose, so that we can just go back to being a family again."

The room fell quiet as Rosalie sniffled and dabbed at her red eyes with a new tissue, Emmett's beefy had gently rubbing her leg.

Finally, the silence was broken.

"So, you think I had it easy?" Edward spoke barely above a whisper as Rosalie looked at him, surprised. "You think that I never felt the pain of loss or of being rejected?" He tightened his grip on Alice's hand. "Well, Rose, you thought wrong." The expression on his face hardened. He let go of Alice's hand and stood up, pacing quickly in the space between the sofa and the coffee table. "I know damn well what rejection feels like. I know what it feels like to think the one person in your world who you thought you could count on abandoned you. Just…just passed you off to someone else like…like a football. To some strangers…to people you met once or twice and who brought you gifts. People who seemed really nice and who treated you great, but who were, at the end of the day…strangers just the same."

"Edward…" Esme's hurt voice was silenced by a quick squeeze of her hand by her husband.

"My parents were…well, what I remember of them…they weren't always there. They had…distractions, which I know you know all about. Sure, my mother made sure I was well fed and clean. I was always dressed nicely and I got off to school on time every day. But…for love? For love it was Grandfather. Grandfather is the one who sat me on his lap and read to me. Grandfather was the one who helped me with my homework and took me to Cub's games. So, when I was suddenly living with him because my parents mysteriously disappeared from my life? I was happy. But that doesn't mean I didn't hurt from the thought that my parents~the people who were supposed to love me~just left me. It hurt. It still hurts. It hurts even though now I know why they left me…that the drugs were more important to them than I was. That's a hurt that will never, ever go away. Not now, not ever. No matter how much my grandfather loved me, or how much Esme and Carlisle Cullen love me. _That_ is the hurt I live with, day in and day out, Rosalie. And it hurts to my _soul_."

He stopped pacing and stood still, his body shaking as he balled his fists at his sides, trying to compose himself. "But then," he began, "suddenly, Grandfather, the person who _did_ love me…who _always_ loved me…he…he just kind of dumped me off with these strange new people and that was it. I'd be living with them...these…very kind…strangers." His face grew distant as he remembered how he felt all those years ago. "Of course, I would visit with my grandfather, and things were exactly like they had been. But then…then I'd have to go back to the stranger's house to live. And I could never, ever shake the single thought that kept me awake many nights back then. What had I done to Grandfather that was so horrible it made him get rid of me? Was I so bad that he didn't want me to live with him anymore?"

The room fell silent once more as he stopped talking and dropped back down onto the spot on the sofa between his mother and his sister with a heavy sigh and closed his eyes. He ran his hands through his hair, twisting his fingers through the bronze threads and tugging hard. Alice reached up and gently pried his hands free, pulling his head down onto her shoulder. She softly combed her fingers through his hair, knowing the calming affect the movement had on him. Edward closed his eyes and sighed.

Esme cried quietly as Carlisle held her hand. She looked at Rosalie. "So you see, Rose," she began in a weak, understanding voice. "We all have our pain…and we all live with our pain. You were never unique in that, sweetheart. For Carlisle and I, that pain was the fact that we had so much love to give, and yet, we were never blessed with a child to lavish it on. So we adopted all of you, hoping that you would love us as much as we loved you."

Rosalie had stopped trying to dry the tears that were cascading down her face as Edward had spoken.

"I'm so sorry Mom." Her voice cracked. "Do you think that you and Edward can ever find it in your hearts to forgive me?"

* * *

**Ok, we'll end it there...evil, I know. I'm hoping to get the next update out much quicker than this one. Again, my apologies for the long wait. **

**Please let me know what you think & send me a review. I have NO idea if this is going to show up in the light gray it's typing in, or how it even ended up like this in the first place. as you can see...I'm still pretty much a mess...then I wonder why, out of the 100+ resume's I've sent, I've gotten 3 calls: 1 to tell me I'm over qualified. 1 to tell me I'm under qualified. And Aflac to tell me I should sell insurance for them. *sigh***

**Thank you for your patience and for reading my little story. I really do appreciate each and every one of you =D **


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